The Renku Sessions: Purple Haze – Week 12
Hi, everyone,
I’m Kala Ramesh from India, and I’m your sabaki for this renku.
We are composing a Junicho, a 12-verse renku (linked verse). The eleventh MOON verse has been chosen, and we are now at the end – the ageku, which literally means – at last!
I thank you all for the kind feedback many of you have shared. Many of you have said that you are immensely enjoying this renku, which makes me feel good.
_()_
We are on to our 12th verse.
Just reminding you of the structure of the junicho we are working on.
Jo – introduction – first 3 verses
Ha – expansion – next 6 verses.
Kyu – a rapid close –last 3 verses – we are on to the last verse!
The renku has shaped very well. Thanks to each and every one of you who has participated in this junicho with such enthusiasm.
Thank you so much.
_kala
Please read the schema, paying full attention:
Junicho: a twelve-verse renku (collaborative poetry)
JO
hokku – spring blossom
wakiku – spring
daisan – cut away verse – no season (ns)
HA
4 short – ns
5 long – summer
6 short: love – no season
7 long – love winter
8 short – ns
9 long – end summer (monsoon in India!)
KYU
10 short – no season – selected
11 long – autumn moon – just selected
12 short – ageku – autumn – We are here!
* Please remember: you should offer verses about blossom, moon, love, seasons, rain, and so on only during the designated slots specified in the schema.
The poem so far:
Purple Haze
purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches pc
a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral jd
an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer sa
Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo mm
spinning wheel thread
unwinds from the spindle
in summer heat vjg
the tall dark stranger
changes more than her tyre td
reliving soda shop days
with porridge from one bowl
and two spoons lg
how silent the cave
of the last bears in Ireland mc
monsoon clouds
like a sea
above the sea on
the quick firm strokes
of the barber’s razor ma
Renkujin so far in this renku are:
hokku: Pauline O’ Carolan – spring
wakiku: John Daleiden – spring
daisan: Sanjuktaa Asopa – no season
4th verse: Mohua Maulik – no season
5th verse: VJ Green – summer
6th verse: Tracy Davidson – no season love
7th verse: Laurie Greer – love. winter verse.
8th verse: Marion Clarke – no season
9th verse: Orense Nicod – monsoon verse
10th verse: Margaret Anderson – no season verse
Strong verses for the eleventh slot that connected well to Margaret Anderson’s verse are:
the quick firm strokes
of the barber’s razor
Margaret Anderson
scissoring quickly
down the moonlit beach
a probing curlew
Richard Straw
Nice verse, but the repetition of the word ‘quick’ weakened this verse.
at earthset
she snaps a photo
from over the moon
Clysta Seney
though invisible
the new moon is
ever present
Veronica Hosking
mysteriousness
of shifting desert sands
in moonlight
John Daleiden
full moon
paring down to
crescent thin
Debbie Feller
bright moon
at the end of the tunnel
softened by headlights
Pamela Garry
a smooth finish
to the autumn moon
captured on canvas
Tracy Davidson
seeing her father
in the strong jaw
of the last quarter moon
Laurie Greer
the only light
slivers of silver shining
through the shutters
Scott Anderson
a blood moon
leaps and fades
into the city lights
Anju Kishore
homemade pinwheels
spin on the porch
under the full moon
VJ Green
The verse for this coveted position goes to the “stone chakor”. I couldn’t resist this bird, which holds such a love for the moon. For this renku and this slot, this bird was a sure winner. And has Orense played his cards well!
a crescent moon
inches closer
to the stone chakor
Orense Nicod
The moon inching closer to the stone chakor! How deeply into story-building and geographical history does this verse take us?
Quoting from Wisdom Library:
In Indian history, the Chakor bird is a profound metaphor for deep yearning for spiritual nourishment and divine love. It symbolizes longing, beauty, and fulfillment, often depicted as seeking the moon as a reflection of divine truth. The bird embodies the joy and devotion of devotees, illustrating a unique connection to the divine. As such, the Chakor bird reflects the deeper existential quests of individuals, making it a powerful symbol of love, devotion, and spiritual desire.
In one of the renku I participated in, Eiko Yachimoto, a renowned renku poet from Japan, was our sabaki. She told us that religion and spirituality can be added to give the renku a deeper layering. I remembered her words, and Orense’s verse fitted so well. So, with this verse, Orense gets a second verse in!
Some might ask, in the rapid close section, how we can have a verse that talks about ‘inching closer’ – doesn’t that suggest a delayed moment? Renku is linked poetry; no verse stands on its own, except the hokku (first verse). All the others depend on the verse above, and if one falls, the whole renku crumbles like a pack of cards!
Check the verse above. The maeku
the quick firm strokes
of the barber’s razor
a crescent moon
inches closer
to the stone chakor
The ‘inches closer’ here takes on the speed of the barber’s razor!
This is the magic that renku creates and recreates with its link-and-shift technique. Since I entered the haikai world, I have been fascinated, charmed, and hooked by this theory.
You can read more of my thoughts in this essay:
https://contemporaryhaibunonline.com/cho-16-2/link-and-shift-kala-ramesh/
The entire poem, along with the currently chosen verse:
Purple Haze
purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches pc
a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral jd
an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer sa
Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo mm
spinning wheel thread
unwinds from the spindle
in summer heat vjg
the tall dark stranger
changes more than her tyre td
reliving soda shop days
with porridge from one bowl
and two spoons lg
how silent the cave
of the last bears in Ireland mc
monsoon clouds
like a sea
above the sea on
the quick firm strokes
of the barber’s razor ma
a crescent moon
inches closer
to the stone chakor on
Renkujin so far in this renku are:
hokku: Pauline O’ Carolan – spring
wakiku: John Daleiden – spring
daisan: Sanjuktaa Asopa – no season
4th verse: Mohua Maulik – no season
5th verse: VJ Green – summer
6th verse: Tracy Davidson – no season love
7th verse: Laurie Greer – winter love
8th verse: Marion Clarke – no season
9th verse: Orense Nicod – monsoon verse
10th verse: Margaret Anderson – no season
11th verse: Orense Nicod – moon verse
PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY and FOLLOW IT.
The requirements for verse 12:
Most important:
Ageku is generally a happy, optimistic poem. It needs to be uplifting. All renku end on a happy note.
- READ THE SCHEMA. Understand what is required for this 12th verse.
2. We are on our last verse of this section – rapid close!
3. Rapid Close means we do not stretch the moment. The verse would start and finish quickly!
4. No words with a loooong sound! No dragging moments.
5. A two-line verse of 10 to 12 syllables, without human presence.
6. You will only link to the newly chosen moon verse and completely move away from Margaret Anderson’s no-season 10th verse.
The three essential parts of a renku (linked verse) sequence — specifically relating to the structural requirement of a “leap” or “shift” — are uchikoshi (the penultimate verse), maeku (the preceding verse), and tsukeku (the current verse).
the quick firm strokes
of the barber’s razor Margaret Anderson (uchikoshi)
a crescent moon
inches closer
to the stone chakor Orense Nicod (maeku – the moon verse)
Ageku verse to be selected: (tsukeku)
I’ll wait for your submissions. The window closes each Monday, and my selection, along with the requirements for the next verse, will be posted here every Thursday.
We are at the end!
your sabaki,
_kala
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