The Renku Sessions: Purple Haze – Week 10
Hi, everyone,
I’m Kala Ramesh from India, and I’m your sabaki for this renku.
We are composing a Junicho, a 12-verse renku (linked verse). The ninth monsoon verse has been chosen, and we are now entering the last segment of this renku – KYU – the rapid close!!
This is a fun but challenging part of the whole renku.
I thank you all for the kind feedback many of you have shared.
_()_
We are on to our 10th verse.
Just reminding you of the structure, once again.
Jo – introduction – first 3 verses
Ha – expansion – next 6 verses.
Kyu – a rapid close –last 3 verses – we are entering this section.
I’m very pleased with the renku so far. Thanks to each and every one of you who has participated in this junicho. Are you all enjoying the process?
Be with the journey!
_kala
Please read the schema, paying full attention:
Junicho: a twelve-verse renku (collaborative poetry)
JO
hokku – spring blossom
wakiku – spring
daisan – cut away verse – no season (ns)
HA
4 short – ns
5 long – summer
6 short: love – no season
7 long – love winter
8 short – ns | (selected)
9 long – end summer (monsoon in India!)
KYU
10 short – no season – We are here!
11 long – autumn moon
12 short – ageku – autumn
* Please remember: you should only offer verses about blossom, moon, love, seasons, rain, and so on during the designated slots specified in the schema.
The poem so far:
Purple Haze
purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches pc
a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral jd
an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer sa
Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo mm
spinning wheel thread
unwinds from the spindle
in summer heat vjg
the tall dark stranger
changes more than her tyre td
reliving soda shop days
with porridge from one bowl
and two spoons lg
how silent the cave
of the last bears in Ireland mc
Renkujin so far in this renku are:
hokku: Pauline O’ Carolan – spring
wakiku: John Daleiden – spring
daisan: Sanjuktaa Asopa – no season
4th verse: Mohua Maulik – no season
5th verse: VJ Green – summer
6th verse: Tracy Davidson – no season love
7th verse: Laurie Greer – love. winter verse.
8th verse: Marion Clarke – no season
Thank you for sending in such great verses. I spent a lot of time mulling over each candidate and enjoyed the process.
A few corners that all of you need to tighten up:
- A few of you sent me a 2-line verse, even though I had repeatedly said it was a 3-line verse. In renku, we alternate between 3- and 2-line verses. If you had read the schema, you would have known that.
- A few have written about blossoms! Haven’t we finished with blossom in the hokku (the first verse) itself?
- Many of you did not mention rain, which was surprising. In renku, you are to read the requirements for each verse – the sabaki follows them to the dot!
- Many have sent me beautiful verses, but they were all hokku! Please remember that only the first verse in any renku is a haiku (hokku) with a kire (cut) and punctuation. All the others are sentence poems.
Strong verses for the ninth slot that connected well to Marion’s verse are:
cicada shells
drift away
on flooded streets
Pamela Garry
a pair of shadows
sharing an umbrella
in burning rain
Richard Straw
our little car
the only shelter in
the pouring rain
Urszula Marciniak
under a shop’s awning
the crush
of half-dry strangers
Firdaus Parvez
raindrops multiply
into puddles that turn
into streams
Debbie Feller
behind two oxen
wagon-rutted tracks
swell with rain
Anton R-kelian
I liked this verse – the imagery is strong, but I couldn’t take it because we had finished with the topic of travel with the ‘tall dark stranger changing the tyre’. Remember?
the Ganges
submerges the stone ghats
knee-high
Anton R-kelian
Both these verses from Anton are good.
to block the loud flood
I place sandbags
around our home
John Daleiden
Nicely written.
the heaviest
of all downpours yet
makes breaking news
madeleine kavanagh
Good and strong verse, madeleine. Your verse just describes the Indian scene! Our monsoon rains are always covered in our national news and media channels.
“And then, just like that,
somebody turned off
the rain”
(-from the movie Forest Gump)
VJ Green
Wow! This is a beaut, VJ Green! This would have given the HA segment an effective ending! But I couldn’t take it because you already have a verse in this renku. Good imaginative thinking – very much needed when collaborating in a renku.
Nicely done!
Batman and Robin
fight crime
despite the puddles
Laurie Greer
Laurie says: Hi, Kala–wonderful link to mine! And now I haven’t been able to get Batman (with his bat cave) out of my head. Thanks again–this keeps taking unexpected twists and turns!
I laughed out loud reading your verse! It would have made a good, effective end to the HA section. But you already have a verse selected, Laurie.
thunder in the air
and bombs raining
on the innocent
Pauline O’Carolan
Topical and most poignant. Thanks for sending such good candidates each week.
clouds gather
as the roof begins
to play a liquid harp
Anju Kishore
Beautiful verse, but remember we don’t repeat topics in renku. Always stay fresh, imaginative, with new topics. The Beethoven verse is over for music.
the islands
of the South Pacific
drenched by monsoons
Nancy Brady
not knowing his birth date
the old man measures his age
by monsoons
Tracy Davidson
This is a strong verse at this juncture. The presence of an old man, the passing of years. It’s very well written. Again, you already have a verse, Tracy, but thanks for still playing the game.
the pitch
on the cricket ground
rewritten by rain
Sanjuktaa Asopa
What a lovely verse. We’ve not had sports so far, and it is cricket! In India, cricket is almost a religion. The pitch is so important, and well done, Sanjuktaa. Again, I sing the same refrain – you already have a verse in.
For a short while, the tie was between two verses offered by Orense:
monsoon rain
drips from the beak
of the stone chakor
Orense Nicod
The Chakor is described in Hindu mythology as a bird that thrives only on moonlight. Deep into the full moon night, a stone Chakor sits dripping raindrops. How deep into story-building and into the geographical history does this verse take us?
In Indian history, the Chakor bird is a profound metaphor for deep yearning for spiritual nourishment and divine love. It symbolises longing, beauty, and fulfilment, often depicted as seeking the moon as a reflection of divine truth. The bird embodies the joy and devotion of devotees, illustrating a unique connection with the divine. As such, the Chakor bird reflects the deeper existential quests of individuals, making it a powerful symbol of love, devotion, and spiritual desire.
Good one, Orense. But … I couldn’t take it because our 11th verse is a moon verse, and yours is too close to the moon. So very reluctantly, I let go of this verse.
monsoon clouds
like a sea
above the sea
Orense Nicod
The term monsoon rain was first used in English in British India and neighbouring countries to refer to the large seasonal winds blowing from the Bay of Bengal and the Arabian Sea in the south-west, bringing heavy rainfall to the area
From the cave, and from the height, we shift our perspective; we are now on the earth, talking about the monsoon clouds. I love the magnitude of this image and the sweet repetition.
The new topics are: clouds and sea.
It is just 10 syllables, but that’s fine. Being brief in haikai is not a crime!
The entire poem, along with the currently chosen verse:
Purple Haze
purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches pc
a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral jd
an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer sa
Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo mm
spinning wheel thread
unwinds from the spindle
in summer heat vjg
the tall dark stranger
changes more than her tyre td
reliving soda shop days
with porridge from one bowl
and two spoons lg
how silent the cave
of the last bears in Ireland mc
monsoon clouds
like a sea
above the sea on
Renkujin so far in this renku are:
hokku: Pauline O’ Carolan – spring
wakiku: John Daleiden – spring
daisan: Sanjuktaa Asopa – no season
4th verse: Mohua Maulik – no season
5th verse: VJ Green – summer
6th verse: Tracy Davidson – no season love
7th verse: Laurie Greer – winter love
8th verse: Marion Clarke – no season
9th verse: Orense Nicod – rain verse
PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY and FOLLOW IT.
The requirements for verse 10:
- READ THE SCHEMA. Understand what is required for this 10th verse.
- We are entering the last segment – the KYU – rapid close.
3. Rapid Close means we do not stretch the moment. The verse would start and finish quickly!
4. No words with a loooong sound! No dragging moments.
5. A two-line, no-season verse of 10 to 12 syllables
6. You will only link to the newly chosen monsoon verse and completely move away from Marion’s bear verse.
The three essential parts of a renku (linked verse) sequence — specifically relating to the structural requirement of a “leap” or “shift” — are uchikoshi (the penultimate verse), maeku (the preceding verse), and tsukeku (the current verse).
how silent the cave
of the last bears in Ireland Marion Clarke (uchikoshi)
monsoon clouds
like a sea
above the sea Orense Nicod (maeku)
The new verse to be selected: (tsukeku)
I’ll wait for your submissions. The window closes each Monday, and my selection, along with the requirements for the next verse, will be posted here every Thursday.
Let’s have fun creating this renku together!
your sabaki,
_kala
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