HAIKU DIALOGUE – Allusion – Communing with the Contemporary – commentary

Allusion with Guest Editor Allyson Whipple

Though the writing of haiku is often a solitary act, each individual effort is part of a centuries-old tradition that is bound up in a larger collective impulse. Allusion allows us to be in dialogue with both the past and present, focused within the world of literature or expanding out to broader cultural memory. Using allusion also reminds us that nobody creates in a vacuum; our poetic selves are comprised of all we have written, studied, and experienced. Over the next several weeks, we will focus on writing allusive haiku that foster our sense of a global haiku collective.

Below is Allyson’s commentary for Communing with the Contemporary:

Thanks again to everyone who participated in round two of the Allusion series. I appreciated seeing all the ways you chose to take contemporary haiku and apply the themes to your own experience of 21st century life. I appreciated the ways in which people took poetic leaps, crossed genre boundaries, and tackled some tough topics.

after the party
he guides her towards
another planet

M.R. Defibaugh

fortieth anniversary
our spaceship drifts
towards Venus

Neena Singh
India

M.R. Defibaugh’s initial haiku is what I would consider light scifi-ku. While the science fiction elements are clearly there, the second two lines could also be poetic license to describe a profound sexual experience after the fun of a party. Neena Singh uses allusion to create a poem that I consider squarely in the hard scifi-ku genre. A fortieth anniversary is a major milestone, worthy of celebration. However, while M.R.’s initial poem generally seems to be one of happy connection, Neena’s scifi-ku is not inherently a feel-good poem. Venus is currently not an inhabitable planet; most science fiction writers focus on humans colonizing Mars, not gas giants. The work of literature that I most strongly recall about life on Venus is Ray Bradbury’s heartbreaking short story “All in a Summer’s Day.” While this poem might be set in an era in which Venus is inhabitable, in general, the planet signifies hostile territory. In addition, the word ‘drifts’ could be read two ways. This elderly couple could be spending their retirement leisurely floating through the solar system. But a less optimistic reading suggests that their spaceship has broken down and is being helplessly pulled into the gravity of this gas giant. Neena has not only done an excellent job of creating an allusive poem, but the fact that it can be read as either a happy retirement poem or a dire tale of old age in the space era shows commendable skill.

another nightmare
passes through her wall
of dreamcatchers

M.R. Defibaugh

apocalypse
dreaming my way
into another universe

Peggy Hale Bilbro
Alabama, USA

The Book of Revelation presents some truly nightmarish images of the Biblical apocalypse, and disaster films present secular apocalyptic visions as a series of ongoing nightmare scenarios. M.R. Defibaugh opens his poem indicating just one in an ongoing series of nightmares; Peggy Hale Bilbro uses ‘apocalypse’ to characterize the horrors that are becoming less and less confined to religious texts or action films. While the ultrawealthy might be able to colonize Mars to avoid planetary collapse, the rest of us are left to our imaginations. While dreams and visions can lead us to action, I believe that in Peggy’s poem, the implication is that things are too far gone, and the only escape is through the dream world. We do not have visions of ways to fix the problem; we only have our dreams of a different life that are more grounded in science fiction than reality.

autumn deepens another day without you

M.R. Defibaugh

patio furniture
brushing the leaves
off her chair

thomas david
United Kingdom

thomas david chooses to use an autumn kigo rather than name the season directly, and the leaves do double duty not just to signify the time of year, but to convey the passage of time and the emotional thrust of ‘another day without you.’ Starting with the image of patio furniture, we see that one chair is covered with leaves, implying that it hasn’t been used for quite some time. The act of brushing leaves off the unused chair is an act of care not just for the furniture, but also for the memory of the person who used to sit there. In this poem, I don’t see any escape from the pain of missing a beloved person. There’s the pain of seeing leaves covering their chair and knowing how much time has passed without them, and also the pain of seeing the cleaned-up, empty chair, and knowing the beloved person will never sit there again. thomas david creates a compelling allusion to M.R. Defibaugh’s original poem with a high degree of subtlety and emotional resonance.

adoption day
one more autumn…
in orphanage

Padma Rajeswari
Mumbai, India

While M.R. Defibaugh’s haiku focuses on the longing for someone known, Padma Rajeswari’s response speaks of the ways we can miss someone we have never met. Written from the perspective of an orphan yearning for a family, we see that this child will spend another season — if not another year — in the orphanage. The ‘without you’ of M.R.’s poem is implied and all the more poignant because, like the child, the reader doesn’t know who the ‘you’ might be; we only can perceive the desperate longing for this imagined family. Autumn is the allusive linchpin, and by focusing on the breadth of the season, Padma is able to craft a haiku about a different type of person in a different type of world, yet still capture the spirit of the original.

first road trip
I’ll go anywhere
she takes me

M.R. Defibaugh

last road trip
her car follows
behind the hearse

Valentina Ranaldi-Adams
Fairlawn, OH, USA

M.R. Defibaugh’s original haiku starts with the first road trip of a young couple. Valentina Ranaldi-Adams takes us to the furthest possible endpoint of that relationship where, after a year together, one person has died, and the other is left to join the motorcade to the cemetery. In the original poem, we have the vision of two people newly in love, with no timeline and no particular place to be, meandering across the country. A funeral motorcade also moves slowly, but instead of the fresh promise of young love and adventure, we have the sorrow of a lost beloved. Yet because it’s alluding to M.R.’s work, there’s also a tinge of sweetness. The idea of a last road trip suggests that this couple had many happy years and adventures together. (I also keep thinking about Hank Williams’ “Six More Miles (to the Graveyard)” whenever I read this poem, though there are no direct references to the song.)

gone on vacation
she writes daddy
in the sand

M.R. Defibaugh

Rafah beach
she writes her name
in the sand

Arrigo Bassi
Switzerland

Arrigo Bassi has written a haiku that manages to allude to the original work while creating a complete tonal shift. Rafah is a border city simultaneously located in the Gaza Strip, Palestine, and in Egypt. By invoking the city of Rafah, the beach is no longer a site for an easygoing vacation, but rather a brutalized city where refugees have sheltered. Because we know the allusion to M.R. Defibaugh’s poem, we can infer the person writing their name in the sand is a child. We also know that the name in the sand is, sooner or later, going to be washed away by the waves. Perhaps for the moment the child is able to find some relief from life in a conflict zone and play on the beach, but her young life is at risk of ending early, just as the sea will make quick work of her name. Arrigo has written a compelling haiku that uses allusion as the foundation for an intense political piece.

grilling kabobs
a dog pokes his nose
through our fence

M.R. Defibaugh

planting tulip bulbs —
deer lift their heads
outside our fence

Sheila Sondik
Bellingham, WA, USA

While humans don’t eat tulips, they’re a delicacy for deer. Sheila Sondik has provided a humorous response to M.R. Defibaugh’s haiku, one which points to the occasional futility of gardening. In the original poem, a dog is attuned to the scent of meat on the grill. Whether or not the dog will be able to get through the fence is unclear. There’s enough of a gap for the dog’s nose, but whether the dog is big enough to clear the fence, small enough to wriggle through it, or determined enough to dig under it is up for debate. In Sheila’s haiku, the deer are more than just attuned to meat grilling; they have honed in on tulips that are still months from bloom. There is a sense that the flowers’ fate has been sealed before planting is even complete. The image of the fence is the allusive linchpin that makes the connection clear. But while in M.R.’s poem it’s plausible that the fence will keep out an unwanted dinner guest, Sheila’s haiku suggests that the fence is a useless barrier. If the fence is low enough to see the deer on the other side of it, it’s likely low enough for them to clear once the flowers have come up. Tulip flowers survive only 1-2 weeks after they bloom, and it seems that those mentioned in this poem are going to be especially short-lived.

paperwhite narcissus
in front of the mirror
feeling ugly again

M.R. Defibaugh

paperwhite narcissus
his reflection distorted
ripples in the pond

Katherine E Winnick
Brighton, UK

M.R. Defibaugh’s haiku is an allusive poem itself. The poem connects to the myth of Narcissus, a man so in love with his own reflection in a pool of water that the obsession led to his demise. Whereas Narcissus is captivated by his own beauty, the speaker in M.R.’s original poem is distressed by the sight of his own visage in the mirror. Katherine E Winnick does a skillful job of maintaining the original allusion while still creating a haiku that connects to the seed poem. The opening line serves as the allusive linchpin; not only does it name a specific flower, but it directly names the source myth. Katherine also connects to the original myth by using the image of a pond rather than a mirror. The second line connects to M.R.’s sense of ‘feeling ugly.’ A distorted reflection is not usually a flattering one. Katherine doesn’t have to name the feeling; she conveys it skillfully in her organization of allusive images.

she’s living in her pajamas summer clouds

M.R. Defibaugh

a gray blend of pink and blue postpartum depression

Mirela Brailean
Romania

Mirela’s poem is one that made me rethink the way I read the original text. As someone who loves a good pajama day, I read this poem as one describing a leisurely day on summer vacation. In my imagination, I saw those big, puffy white clouds that provide some occasional relief from the direct summer sun. But Mirela takes a different approach. She removes the seasonal referent and instead focuses on color. Baby blue and pale pink blend to gray in the haze of postpartum depression; the gray could also be alluding to heavy, dark storm clouds. The subject living in her pajamas is implied through the depression. While for some people, spending time in pajamas is a way to relax, for others, it’s a symptom of dire mental and emotional turmoil. Mirela Brailean has invoked the subtle elements of M.R.’s original poem while bringing a specific resonance through her own sense of direct language.

the American Dream
a soldier paints her toes
ultramarine

M.R. Defibaugh

American Dream
the same PTSD
as our fathers

Bryan Rickert
Belleville, IL, USA

While M.R. Defibaugh’s initial poem presents a view of the American Dream in which women are (at least in theory) able to serve equally in the military along with men, Bryan Rickert’s allusive response points to the ways in which the American Dream is, and always has been, an illusion. The men in Bryan’s father’s generation were sent off to fight in Vietnam, and many of them returned with not just PTSD, but a lack of resources and support. Nor is PTSD new; the term “shell shock” was coined in World War 1, but documentation of symptoms we now know as PTSD have existed as long as there have been wars. Nor did PTSD stop with Vietnam; American soldiers are still being traumatized, and though we understand the condition better, many veterans still lack adequate support and care when they return from conflict. Regardless of whatever avenues are opened up to various underrepresented groups in the military, they still end up with the same trauma; these underrepresented groups may even have less access to care. Using the abstract concept of the American Dream as the allusive linchpin, Bryan creates a pointed political poem that could easily spin off a long essay on systemic social concerns.

the art of pilgrimage
my excuse for getting away
from the wife

M.R. Defibaugh

her time for me time partner’s pilgrimage

Sumitra Kumar
Chennai, India

Sumitra Kumar’s poem presents the subject of pilgrimage from the person left behind. In M.R.’s original work, the pilgrimage is more of a temporary reprieve from married life than a spiritual journey. The use of the indirect article (“the” wife) rather than the possessive pronoun (“my” wife) suggests a deep strain in the relationship that the speaker is looking to escape. But in Sumitra’s poem, the wife is also happy that her partner has gone on his pilgrimage. This is her chance to do what she wants, when she wants. She can watch a film that doesn’t interest him, have a chance to see friends, or play her favorite music as loud as she likes. She can stay up late or sleep in, and meals are her favorite foods, eaten on her own schedule. While the husband’s pilgrimage might be highly structured or lack luxuries, the wife gets a chance to rest, relax, and indulge. In Sumitra’s poem, the pilgrimage goes from a man’s excuse to get away from his marriage to a wife’s opportunity to take a break from the domestic burden.

young love an icicle melts in mittened hands

M.R. Defibaugh

melting icicles . . .
after couples counseling
a second cup of coffee

Kelly Sargent
Williston, VT, USA

Kelly Sargent focuses her allusion around the image of melting icicles. M.R.’s original poem also contains warmth in the form of mittened hands. Although Kelly changes the image to a cup of coffee, she nonetheless brings that element of warmth into the poem. As with other poems in this list, she avoids the 1:1 analogs and finds new ways to maintain the spirit of the original haiku. M.R. wrote a poem about young, innocent love untainted by the challenges of life. There are no money issues, religious differences, childcare duties, or infidelities. Kelly’s haiku, on the other hand, writes of a damaged love in which the partners are confronting the challenges that drive couples apart. In my imagining of this poem, the couple is taking extra time out of their day to spend time together. The melting icicles are not just an allusion to M.R.’s haiku, but also signify the melting of cold hearts. And while it’s not possible to bring back that pure innocence, perhaps some semblance of it can be found.

Join us next week for our next prompt…

Bios:

Guest Editor Allyson Whipple is the author of the haiku chapbook Postcards from Texas (Cuttlefish Books), as well as two free-verse chapbooks. She is the founding editor of Haiku Girl Summer and currently serves as the managing editor of Frogpond, and is at work on her reference work The Culinary Saijiki.

Assistant Editor Lafcadio, a former teacher, now works from home writing, editing and proofreading study guides for nursing textbooks. She lives in Tennessee. She has written poetry for a long time but a couple of years ago fell in love with Japanese micropoetry and hasn’t looked back. Lafcadio has been published in a number of journals and anthologies. She writes under the nom de plume of Lafcadio because nom de plume is so fun to say. You can read her poems on Twitter (X) @lafcadiopoetry or BlueSky @lafcadiobsky.

Assistant Editor Vandana Parashar is an associate editor of haikuKATHA and one of the editors of Poetry Pea and #FemkuMag. Her debut e-chapbook, I Am, was published by Title IX Press (now Moth Orchid Press) in 2019 and her second chapbook Alone, I Am Not, was published by Velvet Dusk Publishing in April 2022.

Lori Zajkowski is the Post Manager for Haiku Dialogue. She lives in New York City and enjoys reading and writing haiku.

Managing Editor Katherine Munro lives in Whitehorse, Yukon Territory, and publishes under the name kjmunro. She served as Membership Secretary for Haiku Canada for ten years, and her debut poetry collection is contractions (Red Moon Press, 2019). Find her at: kjmunro1560.wordpress.com.

Portrait by Laurel Parry

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Photo Credit:

Banner photo credit: “Thirty-Six Poetic Immortals”, mid 1700s. Attributed to Tatebayashi Kagei (Japanese, active mid-1700s). The Cleveland Museum of Art, Mr. and Mrs. William H. Marlatt Fund 1960.183.

Haiku Dialogue offers a triweekly prompt for practicing your haiku. Posts appear each Wednesday with a prompt or a selection of poems from a previous week.