The Renku Sessions: Pampas Grass – Week 1
Hello, everyone. I am John Stevenson and I will be your guide in this twenty verse nijûin renku.
Thank you for all of the great hokku offers. Here are a few that I would like to comment upon:
pampas grass
greetings followed
by nods, bows
Richard Straw
This offer very closely reflects the instructions I gave. In general, I prefer a single grammatical break in a hokku but the multiple breaks (after either “grass” or “greetings” and between “nods” and “bows”) evocatively mimics the motions of wind-tossed pampas grass.
mackerel clouds
swim past the moon
night fishing
Belinda Behne
Two autumn kigo (mackerel clouds and moon) may serve to add emphasis to the season, especially when a somewhat summery activity (fishing) is also in the mix.
learning a new song
measure by measure—
wind in the reeds
Diana Ming Jeong
This verse features a double use of “reeds” – both as an autumn kigo and as a group of musical instruments. Question is whether it weakens the seasonal quality of the verse, since the musical terms are multiple and perhaps dominate.
thin ice—
who will be the first
to step out?
Spring rain—
a gentleman offers
his umbrella
Lorin Ford
Both of these are excellent examples of hokku. I may have been somewhat distracted this time; putting together multiple postings before leaving for the haiku gathering at Seabeck. In the past, I have often noted that the seasons in the Northern and Southern Hemispheres differ and invited hokku featuring either current season. Unfortunately, I only requested autumn verses this time.
autumn evening —
a flock of cranes
crosses the sky
Sathya Venkatesh
This verse seems especially auspicious, based upon the symbolism of cranes in various cultures.
autumn mist
the neighbour’s guest knocking
on my door
Zoltan Pachnik
A potentially light touch for the beginning of an exercise in linked verses.
a boat in the distance —
its sail catches
the moon
Sean Murphy
This feels like a metaphorical blueprint for the kind of “link and shift” that we will be attempting together in the coming weeks.
still warm enough
for a dip in the sea
sand piper
Tracy Davidson
Strangely, “sand piper” is listed as both an autumn and a winter kigo on the list we are using. (Listed only as an autumn kigo in Bill Higginson’s Haiku World) When there are kigo for contrasting seasons in a hokku, one of them must clearly represent the intended season. I think that “still warm enough” makes this autumn (as opposed to “almost warm enough”). The back-and-forth between the seasons, the ambivalence of potential bathers and the skittering gait of a sand piper hilariously reinforce each other.
quail
scatter it
the fall sun
Laurinda Lind
This also features a double kigo – “quail” and “fall” — and this seems to set off the potential of “scatter.”
autumn sunset…
colouring
window to window
Raji Vijayaraghavan
Reflecting either leaves or clouds. Or both.
rose of sharon
a halfhitch
of silence
Andrew Pineo
I don’t quite know what this means. That does not detract from its attractiveness.
suspended moon
leaf colors
eaten into lace
Valerie Green
Another double image of autumn, suspended nicely between meanings of “into.”
cider mill
the crisp squish
of ripe apples
Margaret Anderson
The right words in the right order. Crushing apples, there is first a bursting of the skin and then a squish of the softer flesh.
extended wings…
the imagination
of a dragonfly
Laurie Greer
In this poem, “imagination” darts suddenly in different directions
family stories
resurrected in laughter
All Souls’ Day
Clysta Seney
Even though I specified an autumn verse, I will be staying away for any seasonal verse that refers to a calendar date since it cannot function as a “world” kigo. Still, a nice verse with many linking options.
chilly morning
a scarecrow overlooks
stubble
Nancy Brady
This autumn verse presents some linking challenges/opportunities since it is redolent of both beginnings and endings.
Thank you these and other options. I’m going to ask us to start with”
pampas grass
greetings followed
by nods, bows
Richard Straw
Pampas grass is listed as an “all autumn” kigo. This provides us with maximum options in the next two verses, which will also require autumn kigo. Any of these first three verses can be a moon verse. Although some lovely moon verses were offered as hokku, I will save that topic for one of the next two verses.
This week we will be writing wakiku (second verses). They will consist of two lines and contain an autumn kigo from this list: http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html#AUTUMN–THE%20SEASON
The wakiku will link subtly to the hokku and also take us forward. These two verses are the most closely linked in a renku, with the wakiku often featuring a different view of the setting presented in the hokku.
The wakiku, in live sessions, is typically written by the host of the party. On the internet, we don’t really have a single human host but I’m going to ask you to take on the role. Imagine that you have invited this group of poets into your home for a writing session. The attitude of host, as expressed in the wakiku, is lightly self-deprecating – sort of an “aw shucks” approach.
Finally, there will be no more internal breaks. From now on, the space between verses is where juxtaposition takes place rather than within individual verses.
Please send your verses before midnight on Monday, November 9 (eastern US time). My comments and selection will appear here on Thursday, November 12th.
Looking forward to seeing your wakiku!
John
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