There’s also elements of “Inazuma ya kinō wa higashi kyō wa nishi” in this poem, and we know that Buson was greatly influenced by Kikaku.
Either way, this translation and the original are curious, as most of the time it’s presented as:
na no hana ya tsuki ha higashi ni hi ha nishi ni (1774)
field of rapeseed— in the east, the moon in the west, the sun
I’m wondering where this translator found a version of Buson that reversed these lines, as most sources start with the rape blossoms, and the “ya” at the end of what we could call line one creates a clear and distinct cut from the other part of the haiku.
The assertion that this “is not a two-part, fragment-and-phrase haiku” is patently false, as the “ya” creates two parts. Also, the argument that all two-part haiku automatically are “fragment-and-phrase” blatantly misreads the Reichhold essay. It’s a shame The Haiku Foundation posted this version, when there are much better translations available. :(
Thank you Joshua, I think you’re right about the reversal in the commentary, and that the “ya” comes at the end of the first part. I’ll amend the comment.
PS Amended. And added several translations.
Yup. Thanks for adding the translations (though why they’re all presented as monoku is odd. I’m assuming that’s a Haiku Foundation hiccup though).
It’s still curious that nobody sees a two-part structure here, especially with ya at the end of the “first line,” as we would understand it.
I really appreciate reading your commentary, Keith; particularly on haiku that differ from fragment/ phrase.
Sara,
Just curious why you feel “fragment/phrase” is important in contemporary haiku. It’s a useful tool, but certainly not the ONLY way to structure haiku, so the fact that people keep bringing it up like this is novelty is very interesting.
Thanks, Josh
(Amended) Looking at the characters:
菜の花や 月は東に 日は西に
菜 rape (the crop) の (indicates possessive) 花 blossom や ya (the cutting-word): adds emphasis, and creates space.
月 moon は (sentence topic) 東 east に at, toward
日 sun は (sentence topic ) 西 west に at, toward
rape blossoms! / the eastward moon / the westward sun
We are invited to contemplate Buson’s moment of awareness and insight.
There are three distinct elements: the blossoms, the moon, and the sun, in three distinct parts. They are linked implicitly. It is divining their relationship that brings the insight, the moment of revelation.
The arrangement paints a beautiful picture through which a common thread is the colour gold. It has balance between the sun and the moon, with all the associations each carries, around the focal point of the rape (oilseed rape or mustard, canola) blossom. Our beautiful and fertile planet between the two other orbs that govern our lives. The reader is invited to contemplate this gorgeous and vital arrangement. It is a fine example of toriawase, the harmonious arrangement of separate but related things. Bashō: “Know that hokku is a putting-together of things: a tori-awasemono.” And from the dictionary: taking and combining of things.
You might also note that the verse is clearly in late spring, but we have two kigo: the blossoms (late spring), and the unqualified moon which, by default, would be autumn. Buson uses more than one seasonal reference in several of his haiku, sometimes from different seasons in the saijikis. One of them is dominant — here the blossom. You can have a moon almost any day in the year, a full moon a dozen times a year. An artist with a painterly eye, Buson has many verses where at least three separate but related elements are present, beautifully arranged.
He may be referencing: “In the east, over the field, I see the dawn glow rise; I look back—the moon has declined” a tanka by Kakinomoto no Hitomaro abt. 700, tr. Hiraoki Sato
Responding to Joshua’s helpful comment below, yes I had it reversed (incorrectly, basic mistake viewing columns left to right) and the renderings range from: Rape flowers in bloom– The moon from the east The sun into the west. tr. William R. Nelson & Takafumi Saito Rape-seed flowers! the moon in the east and the sun in the west. tr. Yuki Sawa & Edith Marcombe Shiffert Rape blossoms Look! The moon rising, The sun setting. tr. Shoji Kumano Expanse of rape blossoms; The moon in the east, The sun in the west. tr. Shoji Kumano Rape blossoms– the moon in the east, the sun in the west. tr. Herbert Jonsson Yellow rape in bloom: in the west there is the sun– in the east, the moon. tr. H. G. Henderson Rape blossoms and the moon in the east the sun in the west tr. Persinger Field of mustard flowers in the east the moon is rising as the sun sinks in the west. tr. Merwin & Lento
There’s also elements of “Inazuma ya kinō wa higashi kyō wa nishi” in this poem, and we know that Buson was greatly influenced by Kikaku.
Either way, this translation and the original are curious, as most of the time it’s presented as:
na no hana ya
tsuki ha higashi ni
hi ha nishi ni
(1774)
field of rapeseed—
in the east, the moon
in the west, the sun
I’m wondering where this translator found a version of Buson that reversed these lines, as most sources start with the rape blossoms, and the “ya” at the end of what we could call line one creates a clear and distinct cut from the other part of the haiku.
The assertion that this “is not a two-part, fragment-and-phrase haiku” is patently false, as the “ya” creates two parts. Also, the argument that all two-part haiku automatically are “fragment-and-phrase” blatantly misreads the Reichhold essay. It’s a shame The Haiku Foundation posted this version, when there are much better translations available. :(
Thank you Joshua, I think you’re right about the reversal in the commentary, and that the “ya” comes at the end of the first part. I’ll amend the comment.
PS Amended. And added several translations.
Yup. Thanks for adding the translations (though why they’re all presented as monoku is odd. I’m assuming that’s a Haiku Foundation hiccup though).
It’s still curious that nobody sees a two-part structure here, especially with ya at the end of the “first line,” as we would understand it.
I really appreciate reading your commentary, Keith; particularly on haiku that differ from fragment/ phrase.
Sara,
Just curious why you feel “fragment/phrase” is important in contemporary haiku. It’s a useful tool, but certainly not the ONLY way to structure haiku, so the fact that people keep bringing it up like this is novelty is very interesting.
Thanks,
Josh
(Amended)
Looking at the characters:
菜の花や
月は東に
日は西に
菜 rape (the crop)
の (indicates possessive)
花 blossom
や ya (the cutting-word): adds emphasis, and creates space.
月 moon
は (sentence topic)
東 east
に at, toward
日 sun
は (sentence topic )
西 west
に at, toward
rape blossoms! / the eastward moon / the westward sun
We are invited to contemplate Buson’s moment of awareness and insight.
There are three distinct elements: the blossoms, the moon, and the sun, in three distinct parts. They are linked implicitly. It is divining their relationship that brings the insight, the moment of revelation.
The arrangement paints a beautiful picture through which a common thread is the colour gold. It has balance between the sun and the moon, with all the associations each carries, around the focal point of the rape (oilseed rape or mustard, canola) blossom. Our beautiful and fertile planet between the two other orbs that govern our lives. The reader is invited to contemplate this gorgeous and vital arrangement. It is a fine example of toriawase, the harmonious arrangement of separate but related things. Bashō: “Know that hokku is a putting-together of things: a tori-awasemono.” And from the dictionary: taking and combining of things.
You might also note that the verse is clearly in late spring, but we have two kigo: the blossoms (late spring), and the unqualified moon which, by default, would be autumn. Buson uses more than one seasonal reference in several of his haiku, sometimes from different seasons in the saijikis. One of them is dominant — here the blossom. You can have a moon almost any day in the year, a full moon a dozen times a year. An artist with a painterly eye, Buson has many verses where at least three separate but related elements are present, beautifully arranged.
He may be referencing:
“In the east, over the field, I see the dawn glow rise; I look back—the moon has declined”
a tanka by Kakinomoto no Hitomaro abt. 700, tr. Hiraoki Sato
Responding to Joshua’s helpful comment below, yes I had it reversed (incorrectly, basic mistake viewing columns left to right) and the renderings range from:
Rape flowers in bloom– The moon from the east The sun into the west. tr. William R. Nelson & Takafumi Saito
Rape-seed flowers! the moon in the east and the sun in the west. tr. Yuki Sawa & Edith Marcombe Shiffert
Rape blossoms Look! The moon rising, The sun setting. tr. Shoji Kumano
Expanse of rape blossoms; The moon in the east, The sun in the west. tr. Shoji Kumano
Rape blossoms– the moon in the east, the sun in the west. tr. Herbert Jonsson
Yellow rape in bloom: in the west there is the sun– in the east, the moon. tr. H. G. Henderson
Rape blossoms and the moon in the east the sun in the west tr. Persinger
Field of mustard flowers
in the east the moon is rising
as the sun sinks in the west.
tr. Merwin & Lento