The Renku Sessions: Way of the Wind – Week 20
I am John Stevenson and I am your guide for a twenty-stanza, nijûin, renku.
I have just completed a nourishing four days of live renku composition with Yu Chang, Mary Stevens and Hilary Tann. The Haiku Society of America has cancelled their Einbond Renku Awards for three years running, based upon a small number of entries and concerns about the Covid pandemic. They are hoping to resume next year. I hope you will join me in encouraging them in two ways: sending a message of support for their continuing sponsorship of this contest and writing multiple potential entries with the partners of your choice. If the contest is reinstated in 2022, we need to make sure they have sufficient entries!
Now, to consideration of our current efforts.
As usual, there were some very attractive offers from poets already included. Among them:
soft twittering
as the night sky
begins to twinkle
Betty Shropshire
our pilgrimage
begins with
comfortable shoes
Keith Evetts
a dimple where
the rising carp
closed on a crust
Keith Evetts
a Cherokee
arrowhead shining
beneath the plow
Dan Campbell
joyful shouts
as their fish kite
loops the loop
Marietta McGregor
the iridescence
of whitebait
in the pail
Maxianne Berger
for just so long
young grasses keep
the imprint of a sandal
Keith Evetts
Although, with green barley in the hokku, we probably should avoid “young grasses.”
her afternoon nap
with a cumulus pillow
and sheets of soft rain
Jonathan Alderfer
This is an attractive and imaginative verse but it needs help in establishing itself as a spring image. Neither cloud nor rain is a kigo without the addition of “spring.” Unlike “moon,” which is presumed to be an autumn image unless modified to specify another season, clouds and rain are not considered seasonal at all unless they are modified.
the eaves
of the onsen
twittering
Marietta McGregor
the high spirits
of henro setting off
around Shikoku
Andrew Shimield
I had to look this up. The results were rewarding but my feeling is that the necessity of looking something up tends to work against the forward motion of a renku. Of course, many other readers might not have had to look it up. As writers, we always have to be using our best judgement about who we imagine our readers to be.
miles of threads
make up those
silkworm’s cocoons
Betty Shropshire
just listening
to the bird trills
from my pillow
Debbie Scheving
I am guessing that the poet has considered “trills” to be an acceptable extrapolation on the listed kigo of “twittering.”
Perhaps unsurprisingly, there are fewer offers at this stage from poets not yet included. But here are five contenders, from which I will make a final selection:
she laughs
at the soap bubbles
she can no longer chase
Tracy Davidson
Soap bubbles is a spring kigo and laughter may be very welcome in the closing section, so long as it is joyful, as it seems to be here. If one considers this a continuation of the scene in verse seventeen, “She” may be unable to chase because her feet are soaking. But the fact that “she” can no longer chase the bubbles might also introduce a sense of aging and infirmity. That would be unfortunate in our closing section and might suggest a more rueful sort of laughter.
the crackle of
seaweed pods
underfoot
Ann Smith
The gentle sensuality of this verse would be just the ticket here. The poet has, I presume, seen some examples of seaweeds on our list of season words. But seaweed, by itself, is general rather than season specific and our list also has a seaweed listing under “New Year” kigo. The topic of acceptable levels of variation on a kigo was raised this week. It could be discussed at some length but I’ll just say here that an explanation that “nori,” for instance, is “a kind of seaweed” does not make “seaweed” a kigo.
herb-gathering
keeps eyes and toes
on the ground
greenrhythm
A close link to pedicure. This “looking down” verse could be a very good setup for our closing verse, which might well have a “looking onward or upward” quality.
little fingers
stretching upwards
to catch the butterfly
Pauline O’Carolan
And here we have the “upward” quality, enhanced by youth. There is, it seems to me, a suggestion of suspense over the possibility of unintentional violence, should these little fingers actually close over the butterfly.
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
This is both a direct and redirecting linkage. There are feet in verse seventeen that are hooves in this verse. I wonder if these shoes are firsts for both the colt and the farrier. The words “farrier” and “colt” would be pleasant additions to our text.
Here is what I have selected as our nineteenth verse:
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
Here is what we have, so far:
Way of the Wind
green barley—
we follow the way
of the wind
Lorin Ford
kids playing pooh sticks
with plum blossoms
Linda Weir
the long day opens
with a chime of pots
on the kitchen island
Laurie Greer
a coin in the cap
of a street busker
Andrew Shimield
summer moon
low on the hips
of the horizon
princess k
mosquitoes know that my wife
has sweeter blood
Dan Campbell
still drawn to him
after all the bumps
along the line
Wendy C. Bialek
queuing up to enter
the Escher exhibit
Carol Judkins
do you think
they discovered chaos theory
by chance
Keith Evetts
three-martini lunch
with old pals from sigma nu
Betty Shropshire
wolves
in relentless pursuit
across the frozen tundra
Sally Biggar
pidge porridge hotter
than the fires of hell
Michael Henry Lee
that delicious fillip
of excitement
from a sidelong glance
Marietta McGregor
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
taking leave
of the harvest
moon
Kanjini Devi
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
cultivating
the pebbled waves
and island stones
Jonathan Alderfer
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
The requirements for verse twenty will be as follows:
- A two-line verse of fourteen syllables or less
- With a spring image (kigo) but not a blossom
- Without a grammatical break
- Linking in some way to verse nineteen (and in no obvious way to previous verses)
Our final verse should not have the sense of “the end.” This is, rather, the point at which we part as friends from our renku, imagining it going on in another direction, as we go our ways.
For this renku, we will be using this site (http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html) as the source for our season words and images (kigo).
I will be reviewing your offers until midnight on Monday, September 13 (New York time). On Thursday, September 16 there will be a new post in which I will announce my selection of the final verse. There will then be one final post, on September 23 to summarize and celebrate the inclusion of this work in our archive of Haiku Foundation renku and to announce our next renku session.
Keep up the good work, everyone!
John
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
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wisteria sprigs flare
out the horsehair vase
9.13.2021 by wendy © bialek
blowing bubbles
for her newborn sister
mustard flower
colours the meadow
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
•
constellations wheel
in a serene sky above it all
– Betty Shropshire
a ten year old’s Tarzan yell
in a tire swing
*
swings beat ladders
for going over border walls
*
chandeliers make better
swings than tires
Love the lyrical image of the colt and farrier, Nancy.
Thanks for the comments on my verse, John. I saw twitter on the kigo list, but I couldn’t help myself, I liked the Ls in trill with pillow and listen.
*
spring thunder
calls us inside
*
a pinwheel spinning
out the car window
*
the spring clouds
are nearly still
*
legs pump up and back
on the swing set
*
watching the spring tide
return to shore
in the buzz of bees
the noise of time
******************
from the green mountains
scent of freshly milked milk
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
—
a glow in the forge
as we set off at larkrise
spurred on by the glee
of wheeling swallows
our last pheasant sandwich
saved for the stableboy
a balloon rising
above the fence
an avalanche animates
the mountainside
heat shimmering from
a well-polished .45
tilling the paddy
with a new machine
rereading a brief
history of time
Hmm, it seems a kigo has somehow escaped me lol A bit rusty, I guess…
using an old magazine
to make pinwheels
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
*
worn sandals retired
after our long pilgrimage
*
is the spring thunder
clapping for us or laughing?
*
the morning sun
shoos away the spring haze
her first cup of tea
in colorful mug
**
her joyful smile
at very thought of last frost
**
east wind on her face
a romantic blow
**
tilling a field
his family tradition
**
cannot forget serene
smile of that boss of seventy
**
plow field in early
morn is his mantra
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
*
our laughing voices
echo through the willows
*
beachcombers trade shells
as the tide comes in
*
a clap of spring thunder
blesses our last meal together
Sorry ( again)
Oh no …. verse 2 should be on two lines – it was when I wrote it – ho hum it should read
nailing our throwaway oversways
under the willow
pickers infusing
in a mist of fresh tea
a fragrant trail of tea
transporting us together
tea leaves pickers
tracks in the late frost
Cha-musume baskets
for a delicate harvest
new offerings collected
in chamusume baskets
following a delicate trail left
by Tea Daughters
tea pickers passing
a cup of last year’s harvest
gathering all tea pickers
for the rolling
tea pickers
slowly starting to roll
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
only skylarks see us
mount the stile
nailing our throwaway oversways under the willow
this nagging wish
to nudge tranquility
a skylark’s flightsong
above the stirrup cup
a rare old time
dancing strip-the-willow
happy canterers
overtake the beach comber
the energy we’d harness
in a thousand pinwheels
the tranquil sleep
of baby in the swing
guessing by eye
how high skylarks go
a pair of herons joust
in the last frost
Whoops I cut off the first line of verse 19 sorry
The farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Sorry ( again)
Oh no …. verse 2 should be on two lines – it was when I wrote it – ho hum it should read
nailing our throwaway oversways
under the willow
John for some reason I am unable to keep this on two lines. Hope this third attempt nails it
nailing our throwaway oversways
under the willow
A lovely verse, Nancy, that instantly reminded me of taking my children to have their feet measured for their first shoes! Here are a few verses I’ve come up with…
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
across ploughed fields
we run into the morning
our children galloping
across beds of fiddleheads
in the muddy field
tadpoles galore!
tadpoles galore
in each water-filled print
arriving in the flick
of a tadpole’s tail
our tadpole pots swinging
in time with our stride
the clang of the gate
as we set off with our kite
Can you tell I enjoyed collecting tadpoles in childhood?! 😉
eased restrictions
on this serene day
*
kite strings kept
strictly in balance
*
each day now
the tadpoles’ growing legs
*
social distancing
between the temples
*
free to walk
with butterflies again
~~~
willow panniers
carry all we need
far stars lead cowboys
from the tranquil grove
balloons race their shadows
up the hill
let’s go tilt at windmills
Rosinante
we plow the fields
and scatter the good seed
radiating spokes of sun
shimmer on far hills
yippee aye o
we’ll set the hills ablaze
as the days grow longer
Dobbin goes on ahead
send for the cavalry
as the balloon goes up
kicking over the traces
to plow our own fields
choice of Buddha’s Birthday
or the rodeo
we nail the pheasant plucker
tongue twister at last
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
•
“yay!” and “watch me jump!”
heard from swings atop the hill
– Betty Shropshire
some bullfrogs croak
in seven languages
*
guardian angels for frogs
have waterproof wings
Nancy — when I read your verse my heart skipped a beat. So glad it was John’s choice.
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
•
rodeo riders release
red balloons to the sky
.
oops, green barley so no red balloons, just recyclable balloons.
ten bucks for the first
to spot a swallow
we walk away laughing
in the spring night
***
greeting us on the threshold
in the warming air
***
we walk away chatting
in the spring mist
***
laid the plow
the quiet patter of the evening
a flick of her mane
when the bugs come out
she revamps her old saddle
into a swing
how tranquil the day
she hands the reins over
her spirit harnesses
the east wind
a bush warbler
hammers out another tune
#5
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
rainbow and balloons
has created more than 100 poems
Nani Mariani
#2
#4
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
the woodpecker doesn’t stop making sounds
so the horse thief ran and entered the dam
Nani Mariani
……
an anvil ringing
in the tranquil dawn
—
the going’s easy
for a skylark
—
riding to our rendezvous
at the mulberry tree
—
from time to time dismounting
to hear the bush warbler
—
just stop and listen
to the frogs kemosabe!
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
—
pilgrims pass by
whickers from the meadow
—
we bolt the stable door
and go beach-combing
—
and each baby bird’s
a thoroughbred flyer
—
glimpsing tranquil office life
we bolt
—
a hundred bucks
Bush Warbler comes in first
—
careful to plow clear
of the skylark’s nest
—
what hopes ride
upon a rising skylark!
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
—
seven knots for luck
in the kite’s tail
Nice verse, Nancy. Congratulations!
…
Verse 1:
…
last chance to go beachcombing
through flotsam and jetsam
…
Verse 2:
…
see the butterflies
disappear into the distance
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
.
a balloon bobbing along
in a paddock
.
a balloon found bobbing along
the paddock fence
.
the mud kicked up
tilling the fields
.
releasing helium balloons
during the party
.
Thanks for all the kind remarks from everyone, and my apologies for causing controversy, John and Lorin.
No apology is due from you, Nancy. If there is a shortcoming, it belongs to the season word list.
a bored moggy
staring at aquarium tadpoles
*
aquarium tadpoles
snacking on fish food
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
.
clip-clop clip-clop
all the tranquil day
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
.
a primrose also
eaten by Basho’s horse
.
. . . ’tis a common flower, not a blossom. 🙂
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
*
finishing touches
on the classic diamond kite
*
cheered on as we launch
the rokkaku kite
*
launching the kite
from a full on gallop
*
another frisky kite
to put through its paces
*
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
•
tiny cracks letting in
the bright bits of a serene sky
– Betty Shropshire
fawns gambol
on new plowed fields
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
pheasant calls rise
on the evening air
#3
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
today is September 11
have you heard from your uncle?
Nani Mariani
#2
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
a beautiful day
we are going to cinema 21 all the family
Nani Mariani
#1
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
this is really awesome
while counting his fingers, looking up at the sky
Nani Mariani
sowing wild oats
in an Amsterdam houseboat
*
sowing wild oats
under a Brazilian banana tree
*
sowing wild oats
in a Thai gondola
“Green barley” in the hokku. No “oats” in the final verse.
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
•
dandelions showing us
the way to let go
– Betty Shropshire
nevermind this one…no “way”
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
•
dandelions poised as if
wlilling us to let go
– Betty Shropshite
– Betty Sheopshire
oops, sorry for spelling error
•
dandelions poised as if
willing us to let go
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
*
Nancy Brady
*
beachcombers fresh from their moment
with living fossils
*
Congratulations, Nancy!
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
*
tired beachcombers
carry their treasures home
*
the lingering day
varnished by the sun
An ideal verse, Nancy – measured, young, optimistic…. so many linking possibilities! Congratulations. And another convincing commentary.
John’s opening comments on the Einbond Renku: count me in, if wanted.
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
—
some say the best way to spend
a long day is in a dray
firm friendships forged
by tilling fields together
giddyup and go
beyond the minted willows
all night long frogs give
full rein to their desires
Ah, we had ‘the long day’ in V3, I now recall. Please ignore that first one!
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
all the time in the world
for running with butterflies
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
dusting yellow dust
off a touring atlas
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
heat shimmer lends us
a whole new horizon
Nancy, lovely verse! And thanks, John for your comments.
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
mulberry splots scrubbed off
before our family trip
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
a white pansy blooming
in a landfill’s pawmark
Milan Rajkumar
(here’s to looking up!)…
kite tails sway
in prussian blue sky
9.09.2021 by wendy © bialek
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
—
Congratulations, Nancy. It’s a lovely verse and ‘colt’ is listed on the ‘500 Essential A Season Words’ so you’ve written the verse according to John’s instructions and in good faith. Also, you seem to know what a colt is. 🙂
—
John, I need to bring up the issue of ‘colt’ (and also ‘pony’ !!!) supposedly being kigo in Japanese. I have no idea how this not only got into ‘The 500 Essential Season Words’ and ‘Haiku World’ in the first place but why it seems never to have been questioned and either explained or corrected. ‘Colt’, in fact, may be a kigo for late spring (as filly may be . . . ) but, as far as I can find, only in relation to horse races held annually in spring such as the Japanese equivalent of the Melbourne Spring Racing Carnival and similar races around the world. (The participating colts and fillies should be 3 or 4 years old) After all, colts, like fillies, are around all year for several years before they’re referred to by their designated adult names, so logically, ‘colt’ and ‘filly’ can no more be kigo than can ‘tree’, ‘cat’ or ‘mountain’.
.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colt_(horse)
” . . . a colt is defined as an uncastrated male from the age of two up to and including the age of four.[3]”
.
The only context I’ve ever been able to find that connects ‘colt’ + ‘wakagoma’ is this horse race held in Kyoto, where ‘wakagoma’ seems to translate as ‘colt/ filly’ . . . “youngster” )
.
“Wakagoma Stakes
Kyoto-JPN
Former Name(s):
1989 – 0: Wakagoma Stakes (Youngster Stakes) 若駒Ｓ
Sponsor:
Wakagoma Stakes (Youngster Stakes) Open Class, Listed Restricted Stakes(upgraded 2014) : 3yo, 2000m turf Special Weight.”
.
In another saijiki, also available on the www, colts (and fillies) don’t even get a mention, though foals do.
http://jti.lib.virginia.edu/japanese/haiku/HTML/Var1Hai.html
春【はる】：動物 【どうぶつ】
haru: dōbutsu, Spring: Animals
仔馬 【こうま】 kouma, foal (late spring).
馬の仔 【うまのこ】 uma no ko, foal / baby horse.
馬の仔生まる 【うまのこうまる】 uma no ko umaru, a foal is born
—
Editor and Translator :William J. Higginson
Creation of machine-readable version: :William J. Higginson
—
Do you have any views on this subject, John?
.
As you say, the offer was made (and accepted) in good faith. “Colt” is identified, perhaps incorrectly, but without doubt, in the listing we are using. I know that this has been an on-going concern of yours, Lorin. I did remember your concerns about “pony” but not the rest. Thanks for the reminder.
tadpole confetti
sprinkled along the tide pool
sprinkling herb seeds
around wagon wheel spokes
9.09.2021 by wendy © bialek
if…..’gallops’ may be too close to foot in “pedicure”….in verse 18….debbie’s
last frost grows off
the door knocker
9.09.2021 by wendy © bialek
Congratulations Nancy and thanks for the mention and the comments John
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
plowed furrows stretch
to infinity and back
so many birds
wheel round the plow
birdsong above
the fresh turned field
a gallop in the gloaming
of a glorious long day
Sorry, changing the last one to
a gallop in the gloaming
of the lingering day
oooops! i ‘walked’ too soon…on “thin ice”
thanks for the reminder….andrew!
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
last frost gallops off
the door knocker
9.09.2021 by wendy © bialek
thank you for another round of fitting tips and commentary from john!
nancy…great going…love your careful, wordsmithing!
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
thin ice gallops off
the door knocker
9.09.2021 by wendy © bialek
Congratulations to all dear selected❤️
special congratulations to dear Nancy Brady 🌺
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
Nancy Brady
Congrats Nancy, I enjoy your verses and thank you John
*
many tadpoles and Buddhas
celebrate the same birthday
*
some princes croak hello
when they see tadpoles
*
you know why some
you know why some
princes are nicknamed tadpole
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
*
Nancy Brady
*
a bubble for luck
and another to grow on
*
holding the record for bubbles
with the luckiest wand
*
lucky bubbles pitching into
and out of sight
Thanks, Betty, for your kind comment. Your understanding of renku verses is well developed obviously, and I am learning from you and the poets who participate regularly throughout the twenty verses.
Nancy…I try to get my head wrapped around all the nuances to this form but it can be crazy-making…for me, anyway! Am always learning, too!
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
love the colt verse.
But I have a question for John:
as ‘colt’ is listed as a late spring kigo, does this mean that the following verse should not have an early or mid spring kigo, but either another late spring or all spring one. We are not supposed to go backwards in the renku. Or am I being too pedantic?
Thank you for mentioning this. I should have done it myself. We are confined, in our final verse to kigo designated “late spring” or “all spring.”
Congratulations Nancy! I love your verse even more after reading your comments! And thanks John , for your guidance which always help us keep,learning!
this spring dawn leaves
a lasting impression
I agree– a beautiful and perfect choice.
And I, too, am slowly making sense of renkus, piking up more each time. This is my third and I owe everything I know to John and the great community of THF.
**
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
*
Nancy Brady
*
its serenity lingers
long after the last frost
*
the special patience to till
fresh, unbroken fields
*
Thanks Andrew, Debbie, and Laurie for your kind remarks. That I am not alone in this learning curve
makes me feel hopeful. Now to contemplate a two-line penultimate verse; good luck to you all.
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
– Nancy Brady
•
tall tales and laughter
as a light snow begins again
– Betty Shropshire
Congratulations, Nancy. The status of perpetual student is more to be envied than lamented, in my opinion. I consider myself a student of renku.
John,
I am a pharmacist, now retired, yet I continue to do continuing education programs as well as read pharmacy journals to keep up so I definitely understand being a perpetual student in a subject. Haiku and all its forms seem to be the same way, or as Michelangelo said, ” Ancora imparo,” at age 87. That translates to: I am still learning. As a pharmacist, poet, and (hopefully) life long learner, I am still learning.
Nan
Thank you, John. Frankly, I am surprised, even shocked by your choice, but thank you nonetheless. I have been playing to try and understand the renku form; I still don’t, but I will keep at it. Again thanks.
Yours is a lovely verse, Nancy…and was a most perfect choice!
Betty
Thank you, Betty, that is so kind of you to say.