The Renku Sessions: Way of the Wind – Week 19
I am John Stevenson and I am your guide for a twenty-stanza, nijûin, renku.
Here are some tempting verses from poets already included. In the past, I have simply listed them, without comment. I thought there was no point in commenting since the final selection would be made from among poets not already included. But I now realize that some information can best be imparted if I comment on a few of these, also:
the strength and the beauty
of the cobbled together
Laurie Greer
Which is a capsule summary of an appealing aspect of renku itself.
the oldest monk suppresses
a ripple of laughter
Keith Evetts
We have “old” in verse 10. If I was to select this verse, I might substitute something for “oldest” (“senior”?) or just delete it without a substitution. The verse before the one to which this links begins with “the scarecrow,” so I might want to find a way other than “the monk” to start here. When the group leader makes changes, these are often the kind of things that he or she is trying to fine tune.
beyond the fence
kookaburras laughing
Lorin Ford
so much depends
upon ball bearings
Sally Biggar
not so refined that he can’t
laugh at his own jokes
Laurie Greer
a mountain moves
among the trees
Keith Evetts
pelicans flying in formation
above the waves
Dan Campbell
an oracle’s answer
echoes inside the cave
Betty Shropshire
one two three stars
stranded on the beach
Dan Campbell
I like this image a lot but there is a principle of “progressive numbering” in renku. This means that, once a number appears in a verse, no subsequent verse can use a lower number. So, with “three-martini” in verse 10, we are precluded from this counting-from-one.
spellbound by the swirls
in marbled silk
Sally Biggar
a flintknapper
from way back
Laurie Greer
crème brûlée and coffee
and stories of home
Betty Shropshire
This is really lovely. But in a twenty-verse renku that already has a beverage (“martini”) and a food (porridge), I would be reluctant to add one more of each.
two hundred fifty steps
to the top of the lighthouse
Dan Campbell
Now there’s a number we can use!
putting down roots
in a seaside village
Carol Judkins
Here are some verses, from poets not yet included, that I gave some consideration as finalists:
an empty bucket and spade
where she was sitting
Tracy Davidson
the notched edge
of old sepia photos
Angiola Inglese
the blue tiles in the tub
suggest the sea
Margherita Petriccione
a bird’s eye view
from the penthouse
Liz Ann Winkler
finding fossilized coral
in the Midwest
Debbie Feller
a crying gull
rises on spindrift
Marion Clarke
ah, such pure harmonies
carry you away
Barbara A. Taylor
My final selection will be made among the following offers:
the people are reserved
but friendly & polite
Dick Pettit
I am just charmed with the movement from “pebbled” to “people.” As with the verse I mentioned above, it would be good to avoid going from “the scarecrow” to “the people” with only one intervening verse. Perhaps we could say “these people.” In the meantime, “friendly & polite” is exactly what we would like to feature in this closing section.
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
This verse also has exactly the sort of tone we are looking for in the kyu. The feeling is comfort and anticipation of pleasant attention, contributing to a general sense of well-being.
my jigsaw of Ireland
begins to take shape
Marion Clarke
A pleasant pastime, at a point from which progress can be appreciated. We have “my” in verse 6. And the idea of putting together (a puzzle of) Ireland may be read as having political resonance. That would be very welcome in the middle section (the “ha”) but unfortunate in the “kyu.”
Here is what I have selected as our eighteenth verse:
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
Here is what we have, so far:
Way of the Wind
green barley—
we follow the way
of the wind
Lorin Ford
kids playing pooh sticks
with plum blossoms
Linda Weir
the long day opens
with a chime of pots
on the kitchen island
Laurie Greer
a coin in the cap
of a street busker
Andrew Shimield
summer moon
low on the hips
of the horizon
princess k
mosquitoes know that my wife
has sweeter blood
Dan Campbell
still drawn to him
after all the bumps
along the line
Wendy C. Bialek
queuing up to enter
the Escher exhibit
Carol Judkins
do you think
they discovered chaos theory
by chance
Keith Evetts
three-martini lunch
with old pals from sigma nu
Betty Shropshire
wolves
in relentless pursuit
across the frozen tundra
Sally Biggar
pidge porridge hotter
than the fires of hell
Michael Henry Lee
that delicious fillip
of excitement
from a sidelong glance
Marietta McGregor
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
taking leave
of the harvest
moon
Kanjini Devi
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
cultivating
the pebbled waves
and island stones
Jonathan Alderfer
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
The requirements for verse nineteen will be as follows:
- A three-line verse of seventeen syllables or less
- With a spring image (kigo) but not a blossom
- Without a grammatical break
- Linking in some way to verse eighteen (and in no obvious way to previous verses)
Our final two verses will be spring. In most renku, the penultimate verse is a spring blossom but, since we had a spring blossom in verse 2 (“plum blossoms”), we will not have an additional blossom in the closing of this renku.
For this renku, we will be using this site (http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html) as the source for our season words and images (kigo).
I will be reviewing your offers until midnight on Monday, September 6 (New York time). On Thursday, September 9 there will be a new post in which I will announce my selection of the nineteenth verse, comment on some of the other offers, and issue instructions for writing verse twenty.
Keep up the good work, everyone!
John
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
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Well done, Debbie–a comforting verse for sure!
Thanks for highlighting two of mine, John. I ought to have thought of potential political overtones with that map of Ireland. Was thinking I ought have said a jigsaw of Europe instead, but that’s probably just as contentious! 🙂
marion
the last snows of spring
at the foot of the Mournes
and these
little piggies
go home
9.06.2021 by wendy © bialek
and this
little piggy
goes home
9.06.2021 by wendy © bialek
ooops! ‘follows’ is a no no! (it occurs in the hokku)
soap bubbles
parade amongst
kite tails
9.06.2021 by wendy © bialek
or
kite tails dangle
in the parade
of soap bubbles
9.06.2021 by wendy © bialek
thanks, john,for a big splash of informative renku tips!
i could definitely treasure a long soak now!
congrats, debbie….for coming up with a relaxing
image!
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
soap bubble flurries
follow parading
kite tails
9.06.2021 by wendy © bialek
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
.
beachcombing
for sea glass
in her bare feet
.
the colt is fitted
for his first pairs
of shoes
.
the farrier measures
a colt
for his first shoes
nibbling on
colt, cat, carp, frog, and butterfly
animal crackers
greetings
from a patch of grass
through snowmelt
*
just listening
to the bird trills
from my pillow
*
shovels poised
over clam holes
in the wet sand
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
*
parties of mayflies
dance above
the chuckling rapids
for the healthcare workers during covid–
a faint squeeze
back from
the lion’s paw
or
a faint squeeze
from the paw
in Androcles’ hands
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
*
the riverbank
vanishes
in a cloud of grass
at low tide
the beach
looks combed
intermittent wiper
that leaves the spring rain
in the background
Bravo! I like the parallel mentioned between toes and pebbles!
our tongue
unfolding
fiddleheads’ lace
*
why bother
setting a new set of strings
on the Skylark violin?
*
pilmgrimage
of young monks
in yellow dust
*
Thank you Sandra!
early walk
in spring morn of birds
with first wake up call
**
humming a song
in spring mode
while dish washing
**
her high jump
in skipping rod
with spring rhythm
**
father showing
crescent moon
to his ward
**
spring perfume
on her sleeve
special today
***
horoscope
match making
his spring pastime
tap dancing frog
is the star
of the swamp
*
frog serenades
are fond memories
of a prince
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
other footprints
can just be made out
in yellow dust
careful not to step
on all the cheeping chicks
as eggs are gathered
before the foothills
other birds fall silent
for the skylark
we step aboard
to go downstream
with the freshet
we’ll write
to all the pilgrim friends
made in the bath-house
#5
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
on the balcony
continue reading the newspaper
animal character
Nani Mariani
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
i started
bring dreams
live in a tree house
Nani Mariani
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
—
arrows
of departing pinkfoot geese
pierce the sunset
we walk out
with the blackbird
in the morning haze
semicolons
tickling the toes
are tadpoles
Comments: I’ve used ‘departing geese, ‘ carefully explained in the kigo list as a spring kigo; but it feels uncomfortable for someone used to geese departing in autumn, so it’s here to ask for an opinion, really.
‘haze’ : we had ‘fog’ five verses ago. However, the guidelines by Higginson and Kondo (http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/shorter_renku.html) are that such phenomena should be separated by ‘at least two’ stanzas, so that should be OK (?).
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
•
turning off the lights
in towns and cities for all
the departing ducks
– Betty Shropshire
a warm soak
before the pedicure
*
Debbie Scheving
*
the varnished stands
holding the dolls
at the festival
*
a warm soak
before the pedicure
*
Debbie Scheving
*
the nesting dolls
at the center
of the festival maze
a warm soak
before the pedicure
*
Debbie Scheving
*
the Atten-hut
energizes
the last slug-a-bed
a warm soak
before the pedicure
*
Debbie Scheving
*
no wasted moves
as we wade into
deepest spring
*
no slug-a-beds
among the rifle-spinning
color guards
or if the second one recalls sigma nu too closely:
*
no slug-a beds
on the parade ground
assembly
a warm soak
before the pedicure
*
Debbie Scheving
*
grit
from the pilgrimage
for the reflexologist’s mill
an enamel
transparent like dew
on a spring meadow
I thank you John for your attention to my verses and congratulate you on your choice
***
a spring sky,
pale as my feet
in new sandals
***
it is never too late
to walk barefoot again
in the spring sea
***
an enamel
transparent come rugiada
on a spring meadow
***
pumice in hand
extending to the heels
the spring cleaning
a warm soak
before the pedicure – Debbie Scheving
*
volcanic soil
magically sings
for sprouting rice
*
under a rainbow
this little piggy
raced all the way home
*
under lamps
a naked fledgling
greets our world
*
Om, mmm…
Nirvana
in my bubbly bathtub
*
every day now
green shoots grow taller
after soft rains
*
kites kept high
as toes sink into
golden sands
~~~
Congratulations, Debbie. A pedicure would be lovely right now. But no haidressers, no nail salons, no beauty treatments allowed.
…
Verse 1:
…
swirls of
iridescent soap bubbles
colour the sky
…
Verse 2:
…
little fingers
stretching upwards
to catch the butterfly
…
Verse 3:
…
our pony
kicks up his heels
in the meadow
…
Verse 4:
…
bare feet
running over
thin ice
…
Verse 5:
…
she admires
her painted nails
as she sits on the swing
after a long day
we listen to madrigals
in the bath
mellow feelings
for the skylark
entering the clouds
young grasses
reach up
for rain
Grandma knows
where to gather herbs
for a healing poultice
kites sing
when the string
breaks
*
kite
surfing
the breezes
*
grounded kite
and limp sail
waiting for wind
*
a flock
of kites hovering
in the sky
Really like that first one–
*
kites sing
when the string
breaks
*
nice
Thanks Laurie!
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
*****
with slow easy grace
he casts and casts his fly
into the tranquil pool
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
•
miles of threads
make up those
silkworms’ cocoons
– Betty Shropshire
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
*
the high spirits
of henro setting off
around Shikoku
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
the eaves
of the onsen
twittering
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
quahog wrinkles
after too long
in the bath
#3
a warm soak
before the pedicureDebbie Scheving
very strong
smell of chlorine
in the pool
Nani Mariani
herb-gathering
keeps eyes and toes
on the ground
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
*
her afternoon nap
with a cumulus pillow
and sheets of soft rain
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
—
on tiptoe
listening to skylarks
serenade the sun
—
for just so long
young grasses keep
the imprint of a sandal
—
a pilgrimage
to kneel before a poet
of barefoot rank
….amending the last one (starts with ‘a …’ like V18) to:
pilgrims kneel
before a poet
of barefoot rank
….assuming that ‘pilgrims’ is an appropriate substitution for ‘pilgrimage’ as far as the kigo is concerned?
Yes. That is a close and natural extrapolation.
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
.
the toe-tapping
beat goes on
in the frog pond
.
a warm soak
before the pedicure
*
Debbie Scheving
*
the shimmy
of a heat shimmer
from the reflexologist
Congratulations Debbie
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
the beachcomber
uses the clippings
in his collage
The crackle of
seaweed pods
underfoot
snipping the seaweed
with scissors
at low tide
soap
bubbles
between my toes
a warm soak
before the pedicure
*
Debbie Scheving
*
twin rainbows
to reinforce
the mnemonic
*
congrats to Debbie ☺ and now for fun ..
*
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
*
the iridescence
of whitebait
in the pail
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
•
glacial fjords
slowly emerging
from the haze
– Betty Shropshire
a warm soak
before the pedicure
*
Debbie Scheving
*
where the millipede
touched up
the damp varnish
*
Can millipede serve for “insects” (listed) generally? If not:
*
where insects
touched up
the damp varnish
many baby birds
test out
their talons
four hundred cold eyes
follow me
at the Doll Festival
she laughs
at the soap bubbles
she can no longer chase
the tranquil silence
broken
by his proposal
Congratulations Debbie! What a wonderful relaxing verse! Thanks John, for your always helpful comments!
sitting within
the lantern’s
tranquil glow
#2
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
one two three
slowly turning
wow! beautiful tattoo
Nani Mariani
serving Tai ice tea
replete with
tapioca balls
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
a butterfly flutters
above refugee children
in the morning light
Milan Rajkumar
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
another plastic bottle
pinwheel in the name
of Planet Earth
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
joyful shouts
as their fish kite
loops the loop
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
soap bubbles
bringing a rainbow
within reach
Congratulations, Debbie!
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
liberated from
dreams of being
a living doll
Happy and honored to have a verse included in this renku session. Thank you, John, for the continued guidance, and everyone for your kind comments. Looking forward to the spring verse now!
blacksmiths that convert
swords into plows
are unemployed
*
a Cherokee
arrowhead shining
beneath the plow
#1
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
and
worms squirm
make a surprise
Nani Mariani
Congrats Debbie and thank you John for the lesson on numbers!
*
the plow’s
not plowing because the plower
was deported
*
fin
plow marks
vanishing
Congratulations, Debbie. 🙂
.
It’s an interesting link: to me it could be either the care and ‘ cultivation’ of the feet or the probability of a pumice ‘stone’ about to be used in the pedicure.
Yes. And, also, the array of toes in the water is somewhat like the variously sized pebbles.
Congratulations dear Debbie ❤️❤️
Beautiful
Congratulations, Debbie – a soothing verse.
Another instructive week. It really does get difficult. Now looking down the list of spring kigo again, I see that one of them is ‘warm.’ Onwards…
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
—
our pilgrimage
begins with
comfortable shoes
—
a dimple where
the rising carp
closed on a crust
—
after showers
fresh fiddleheads
unfurl
—
still the pond
waits for
a frog
—
at weekends
we sit on the swings
by the East River
Keith, Debbie’s verse is a non-seasonal verse, as it was supposed to be. I know things can get confusing when we have ‘season words’ translated from the Japanese, but “warm” on the spring list applies to the weather (warm day, warm breeze…), not to the temperature of a foot bath, one’s creme brulee, etc.
.
This week’s challenge is a spring verse. (and I like your ‘pilgrimage’ verse a lot! )
Lorin: thanks – now I see better. This, my first proper renku, is a great learning experience; a high spot of the week.
a warm soak
before the pedicure
*
Debbie Scheving
*
the glow
of buried treasure
lights the lantern
*
gathering in
buried treasure
with the herbs
*
Debbie — congrats on a fine winding-down verse and to John thx again for showing the depth and fit of the offerings.
.
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
•
at the pumice step
heat shimmer sways
the beaded curtains
.
Debbie: congratulations! Lovely verse–just the thing. And John, thanks for yet more illumination. Hadn’t known about the numbering. My guess would have been that one number takes care of all numbers, but, no, it’s more complicated and interesting than that.
And thanks everyone else for fun contributions this whole long way.
*
a warm soak
before the pedicure
*
Debbie Scheving
*
making like a frog
with a squish
in the mud
*
a warm soak
before the pedicure
Debbie Scheving
pebble touch
the moon slides
under me
Lakshmi Iyer
India
a warm soak
before the pedicure
– Debbie Scheving
•
soft twittering
as the night sky
begins to twinkle
– Betty Shropshire