The Renku Sessions: Way of the Wind – Week 17
I am John Stevenson and I am your guide for a twenty-stanza, nijûin, renku.
At this point in the renku, there are many things to think about. Something is bound to get lost in the process and it seems important to resist any tendency we may have toward perfectionism if we are to continue to enjoy ourselves.
The big thing that is happening at verse sixteen is that we are closing out the middle section (the “ha”) of our renku. We can either do it with a bang or we can begin to hint at the tone of the closing section (the “kyu”).
As has come to be customary in this session, I will begin by highlighting some verses from poets already included:
witch sisters
hunt for ghost fungus
Lorin Ford
a volcano still rumbles
beneath the tattered bashoo
Betty Shropshire
the science behind
these peak maple colors
Chris Patchel
a barrel of apples
sent to be pressed
Andrew Shimield
My selection will be made from the following set of nine offers:
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
The fancifulness of this image represents some of the bang we may want here and “turns in his badge” goes nicely with the fact that we are concluding our “ha.” For some, the presence of military and police officials in the concluding scenes of Casablanca may feel like too close a connection between this and verse fourteen. I don’t feel that way since that verse is so intensely and exclusively focused on “Rick and Ilsa.”
round and round
the fairy ring
Marion Clarke
This is a beautiful image combined with the harvest moon. And “round and round” helps us round out the “ha.” Rather than a bang, this offers us some of the tone we will be looking for in the “kyu.”
darker evenings
but smelling of chestnuts
Margherita Petriccione
The end of the day works nicely in this position. And we could use a scent image.
an extra blanket packed
for this chilly night
Barbara A. Taylor
Anticipation also works here.
tv drowned out by
low flying geese
Debbie Feller
A close link to taking leave of the moon.
we found ourselves
at the salmon run
Sandra St-Laurent
This image uses some of both strategies for transitioning from “ha” to “kyu.” The image involves furious activity but it also is known to lead to a “fast finish.”
migrant workers pick
the apple crop
Nancy Brady
I am of two minds about this verse. We started with “the way of the wind” and added a street, a que, relentless pursuit, an airport and a departure (taking leave). While it is legitimate to have some sense of subtle overarching themes in a renku, subtle is the key. So, I’m just not sure about adding “migrant” to the list, even though it is a solid choice when considering just the direct link to verse fifteen.
the last cricket offers
a song of absolution
Jonathan Alderfer
“Song of absolution” is a wonderful phrase.
we pick mushrooms
at his secret place
Debbie Scheving
Gathering mushrooms is very much in line with the intent of the kigo on our list. And if the harvest moon has departed, this might be the best time to visit a secret place undetected. I do think this has some of the atmosphere of a love verse.
Here is what I have selected as our sixteenth verse:
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
Here is what we have, so far:
Way of the Wind
green barley—
we follow the way
of the wind
Lorin Ford
kids playing pooh sticks
with plum blossoms
Linda Weir
the long day opens
with a chime of pots
on the kitchen island
Laurie Greer
a coin in the cap
of a street busker
Andrew Shimield
summer moon
low on the hips
of the horizon
princess k
mosquitoes know that my wife
has sweeter blood
Dan Campbell
still drawn to him
after all the bumps
along the line
Wendy C. Bialek
queuing up to enter
the Escher exhibit
Carol Judkins
do you think
they discovered chaos theory
by chance
Keith Evetts
three-martini lunch
with old pals from sigma nu
Betty Shropshire
wolves
in relentless pursuit
across the frozen tundra
Sally Biggar
pidge porridge hotter
than the fires of hell
Michael Henry Lee
that delicious fillip
of excitement
from a sidelong glance
Marietta McGregor
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
taking leave
of the harvest
moon
Kanjini Devi
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
The requirements for verse seventeen will be as follows:
- A three-line verse of seventeen syllables or less
- Without a seasonal image (kigo)
- Without a grammatical break
- Linking in some way to verse sixteen (and in no obvious way to previous verses)
Verse seventeen begins the closing section of the renku (“kyu”). Of this section, Professor Fukuda has written, “This part should be written calmly and pleasantly. Here again, we can say we write in formal attire.”
For this renku, we will be using this site (http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html) as the source for our season words and images (kigo). Kigo are not always intuitive so it is a good idea to check the list before submitting a non-seasonal verse, just to be sure it does not include an inadvertent seasonal reference.
I will be reviewing your offers until midnight on Monday, August 23 (New York time). On Thursday, August 26 there will be a new post in which I will announce my selection of the seventeenth verse, comment on some of the other offers, and issue instructions for writing verse eighteen.
Thank you, everyone!
John
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
This Post Has 90 Comments
Comments are closed.
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
.
just one of many
hollow men
headpiece filled with straw
.
he begins
to sort his
feather collection
the mailbox
stuffed with
junk ads
Congrats Maxianne, on the intriguing verse, and thank you, John, for the insightful comments.
*
no guilt
in taking
a mid-day nap
*
an aging neighbor
still practices
his saxophone
*
gathering clothes
for the thrift shop
donation bin
☺
thanks, Debbie
my dog’s
paw shuffles
in a dream
8.23.2021 by wendy © bialek
no
deadlines
for my dream
8.23.2021 by wendy © bialek
seven new tiles
picked with my
eyes closed
8.23.2021 by wendy © bialek
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
*
my best friend
only speaks
in the present tense
under a sudden downpour
I can’t find a door to shelter myself
***********
in the soap bubbles
reflections of the sea
Thank you John for your attention to my writings, and congratulations on your choice
returning
with a “green pass”
to school
***
new scarves
to put in the office
on the suit
***
after retirement
you can know yourself
after all
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
the scales
of justice
finely balanced
baffled faces
peek at circles
in the stubble
amazed to find
clean-shaven poets
at the retreat
writing full story
strike it off
at the end
***
out of mood
hot cup of tea
in the sink
***
turned down
in airport since no proof
of identity
****
inserting pencil
in his half torn
pocket
**
fast asleep
despite mosquitos’
harangue
**
much strain
breaking a coconut
decayed
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
still a scandal
when Black Lives Matter
go on to it
could be used
as a sign post
with a few touches
the President
without a blush slips in
a reverse ferret
Wonderful verse, Maxianne! Congratulations!
projects whirl
in his head
as retirement nears
Thanks, Debbie
☺
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
*
a rainbow
trout leaps clear
of the world
*
cultivating
the pebbled waves
and island stones
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
*
Giggling
Behind the old shed
Children tell secrets
the weatherman admits
he can’t do anything
about it
a fisherman’s arms
not quite long enough
for tails
[[ … trying to catch the ‘formal attire’ aspect… ]]
riding a bicycle
with friends
wearing colored shirts
Nani Mariani
smile sweetly
he greets guests
all happy …
Nani Mariani
line up tidily
children sing
sayonara
Nani Mariani
the tree where
we carved our initials
is now a stump
*
it says a lot
when your dog
runs away
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
enough room
on his stick
for every place he’s been
the storytelling
recovers its poise
when the flap’s over
medals
to be recycled
into ploughshares
bubbles
in blood vessels
are the last straw
we all sign
the retirement card
or is it a petition?
few people read
the records of
the agriculture ministry
shoeshining
in ragtime
tango
on young
macdonald’s farm
it’s AI-AI-O
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
—-
just enough oil
to free the rust
that slowed the wheels
the winch creaks
as a bucket of sweet water
is hauled from the well
an upright citizen
bent on supporting
a good cause
a new world record
in the pole-vault
by half a millimetre
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
*
pasting fresh
bookplates
in the hardcover classics
*
the strength
of the stick-um
on an Ex Libris tag
*
another
Ex Libris
swelling the shelf
*
another
Ex Libris
comes home to roost
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
*
a generic
as good
as a name brand
*
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
*
the recycling sorted
into different coloured crates
ready for collection
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
—
not mentioning
the time spent
listening to birds
a whirl of rooks
gives cheer after cheer
to the wild sky
Very visual, bravo Maxianne!
the scarecrow relunctanly
turns in his badge
(Maxianne Berger)
*
rumors
already in the air
of a sequel
*
the courage
to pocket a ticket
for later
*
the scout pack
always knew him as
White Paws
*
life’s invitation
to find another
hobby
*
a crease
smoothen
at the farewell speech
*
glow
of fulfilment reflecting
on perfectly filled fingernails
thanks, Sandra
☺
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
.
which way
to the nearest exotic
tattoo shop?
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
.
yesterday’s heroes
still smiling in auntie’s
photo album
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
.
hoofbeats
echo through the canyon
long after
Whoops! No, definitely not since we have “taking leave” in the last-but-one. Duh, again.
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
.
thumbs up
for Hercule Poirot’s
dapper moustache
.
Hmmm . . . well, of course not , after Rick & Ilsa. Duh.
congrats Maxine, loved your verse.
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
.
resolutely
selecting a comfy chair
for the front porch
.
Maxianne! and, thank you John for your comments.
☺
thanks, Green Rhythm
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
*
CCTV cameras
capture the fleeting sunset
in black and white
no space
for another box
in the storage closet
An enjoyable verse from Marianne and great commentary from John. Thank you.
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
lulled to sleep
by the sound
of sirens
☺
thanks, Marion ..
maxianne
Oops – apologies, maxianne!
marion
gazing upon
a starfish constellation
at low tide
*
listening
to the echo
of one hand clapping
*
remembering
that Thai lady’s smile
thirty years later
*
scratching
that scar underneath
the medal
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
————Maxianne Berger
*
by the willow
where the water speaks
there is a net and a fish
*
low tide uncovers
the lovely form
of a shifting sandbar
*
where are the crows
there ought to be crows
don’t bother they’re here
(tongue-in-cheek tampering with the Sondheim lyric)
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
—
a well-dressed priest
with a whistle-clean
begging bowl
a sandwich for the birds
kept in waxed paper
tied with string
gules three lions
passant guardant in pale or armed
and langued azure
the sound
of one crow
flapping
Congratulations, Maxianne. Now it does get hard!
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
– Maxianne Berger
appreciating
a good night’s sleep
in the silent city
☺
thanks, Marietta
neither styrofoam
nor halos
can be recycled
*
lonely man
wearing a donkey disguise
in the petting zoo
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
– Maxianne Berger
•
to soft strains
of a Bohemian
Rhapsody
– Betty Shropshire
settling on
a beginner’s all-purpose
treasure detector
fallen angel
wings on display
in the pawnshop window
*
he wore
a fake Rolex
to the class reunion
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Marianne Berger
.
he ambles down
the yellow brick road
into the poppies
.
androids beat
me at chess and
arm wrestling too
*
check the riverbank
for snakes when I
was baptized
Typo alert – should be checked not check
John’s additional guidance today on the final section, above, prompts a reset.
—
sunrise reveals
night-sparrows are only
ordinary birds
past its azimuth
the sun outlines
western mountains
I am assuming that, while ‘sparrow’ is an all-season kigo, ‘night-sparrow’, the yosuzume, one of the yokai or mischievous spirits, is not a kigo.
John, anent Keith’s comment, here .. can an all-season kigo be used in a no-season verse? I mean, in the sense that it could be “any” season, a no-kigo verse can also be “any” season ..
of course, though, there are words that mean specific season to us, wherever we happen to live, which are not listed on Higginson’s site .. therefore technically not kigos .. but whoever reads the verse will quite possibly sense a season .. and what does Matsuyama have to say about it?
okay .. this is not a single question, and could well require an entire book to answer ..
Renku need to be written on the basis of an agreed upon list of season words and phrases (saijiki). The list we are presently using does not have an “all season” list. So, the question is moot here. If we were working with Bill Higginson’s “Haiku World,” for instance, we would have a section of “all year” topics. I have heard these referred to as “key words” and I think that makes more sense than the idea of an all-year kigo. But, if we were working with a saijiki that contained all-year kigo, we would use them as indicated.
thanks for the explanation, John. I guess I was confusing apples with oranges.
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
– Maxianne Berger
•
ephemeral
reflections
off a tin can
– Betty Shropshire
another dream
shattered
when the results come in
another bruise
she tries to cover up
with bravado
that scent of fear
when faced
with Human Resources
a city falls
while he sleeps off
his hangover
no longer able to hide
the symptoms
that threaten
This might be a good time to mention that the verses in the closing section will not deal with harsh topics – illness, death, failure, betrayal, politics, tumultuous emotions, etc.
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
—
sketching in
the outlines
of a better life
time to give
the kaleidoscope
another twist
looking forward
to the day there’s nothing
in the news
hope remains
cetaceans will be
more than bones
barely a sign
that life exists
on other planets
Congratulations Maxianne and thank you John
*
chained
junkyard dog following
the shade
*
I open
an umbrella when
her rain dance begins
☺
thanks, Dan
taken into
custody for
driving too slow
in every chapter
choice words highlighted
in yellow
a treasury
of unread books
in every pile
tow head curls
escape the pitcher’s ball cap
on the last out
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
.
bales of cast-offs
destined to be dumped
as landfill
.
losing count
of the bales of cast-off
on the wharf
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
– Maxianne Berger
•
petrified wood
worn smooth
to the touch
– Betty Shropshire
Congratulations, Maxianne, very nicely done. I like the subtle humour that arises from the idiomatic use of “turns in his badge” in relation to a scarecrow.
☺
thanks, Lorin
Me too, Lorin! Images of a dishevelled detective come to mind. 😄
marion
Marion 🙂 Yes, a disheveled detective, perhaps with a Boris hairdo? Or a sheriff from an old John Wayne ‘Western’ (There were a lot of those.)
Congratulations Maxianne!
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
*
a ruby wink
from the rising sun
jumpstarts the day
☺
thanks, Jonathan
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
yesterday’s cowboy
has become a dutiful
firefighter
8/19/2021 by wendy © bialek
oooops! too close to:
Michael Henry Lee’s
“………..hotter
than the fires of hell”
yesterday’s cowgirl
has become the
new governor
8/19/2021 by wendy © bialek
8/19/2021 by wendy © bialek
Congratulations Maxianne
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
hoping
a few old friends
stick around
☺
thanks, Ann
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
*
what’s filed away
between O
and Z
maxianne….i love this one so much and was hoping it would be included! soooo….congrats for writing both a humourous, animated verse…..and a serious, social comment!
john, so happy you believed in this one and included it in our renku!
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
☺
thanks, Wendy
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
—
the studio’s contract
is some compensation
for a birthright
all those things
that never happened
in the memoirs
Congratulations, Maxianne. And thanks again for the absorbing selections and commentary.
—
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
—
some better way
to mark a life of toil
than give a clock
the field birds love
is scheduled to be turned
into an airport
last one amended to:
where birds landed
scheduled to become
an airport
… ahhhh, delete the airport one altogether. I had forgotten.
☺
thanks, Keith
those seasonal workers … thanks, John, for choosing this one 😉 .. it’ll be fun to see all the follow-ups ..
maxianne
Sorry to have missed last week, but hope to rectify that. Great verse, Maxianne–and thanks to John for the inspiring comments.
*
the scarecrow reluctantly
turns in his badge
Maxianne Berger
*
the family pitches in
with the retirement
bucket list
*
thanks, Laurie ☺