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The Renku Sessions: Way of the Wind – Week 15

Wayrenku_300

I am John Stevenson and I am your guide for a twenty-stanza, nijûin, renku.

My focus, through all of the renku we have completed thus far, has been on those who are submitting verses. As a result of having heard directly this week from some people who were enjoying your work, without actively taking part in it, I realize that there is a wider audience here than I had previously recognized.

We have been working on our final love verse. Here are some of the many offers that I enjoyed:

 

building scarecrows together
beats marriage counseling

                            Dan Campbell

 

the scarecrow ignores
his wedding proposal test-run

                            Marion Clarke

 

a few old chestnuts roasted
in the best man’s speech

                            Keith Evetts

 

comes the dew chill
as I weep by your grave

                            Berry Shropshire

 

fog horns sound
like my mating call

                            Dan Campbell

 

composing love tanka
deep into the long night

                            Liz Ann Winkler

 

the crickets singing
just for you and me

                            andrew shimield

 

 

Once again, some great offers came from poets who have already been included in the renku.

 

renewing their vows
with a frolic in the knotweed

                            Laurie Greer

 

he scrawls me + you
on a foggy window

                            Carol Judkins

 

cwtch by cwtch
under the Milky Way

                            Keith Evetts

 

he watches my mouth
extracting pepitas

                            Wendy C. Bialek

 

 

And now I must make my choice from an astounding eleven offers:

 

how long these nights
without her

                            Christopher Patchel

 

This is a very forthright extension of the love theme. The sidelong glance of the previous verse, the spark of an instant, has become the long cool nights of an absence keenly experienced.

 

the path for the newlyweds
carpeted with red oak leaves

                            Maxianne Berger

 

A happy ending for our lovers. And perhaps a happiness that has come late, rather than never. We do have “the way of the wind” to consider and so “the path” might be something that could be said in some other way.

 

utterly tempted
to a romp in the haystacks

                            Kanjini Devi

 

Going for it!

 

Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog

                            Christopher Patchel

 

Lovely image, familiar to many of us, no doubt. It would be an interesting lead-in to the moon verse, with that plane taking off for Lisbon. We do have the arts covered (verse eight – Escher). Because renku are written by literate artists, there can be a tendency to load them with references to the arts. But we don’t seem to be overdoing that this time and perhaps five intervening verses is an acceptable interval.

 

new coolness
in her gaze

                            Pauline O’Carolan

 

I like that this “coolness” seems to work in the same way as an element of a love verse and as the kigo for an autumn verse. That is; her coolness may be either a come on or a put off. And the autumn’s new coolness may be experienced as either the end of summer or the foreshadowing of winter.

 

love slippery as sardines
in the shower

                            Ann Smith

 

This verse really has the spirit I would love here. I wonder, though, whether this use of the kigo really establishes the season. This was a consideration with quite a few of the offers, by the way. Kigo are rarely figurative. It is something about the essence of the literal thing that tends to make them season markers.

 

she becomes a scarecrow
to fit the wedding dress

                            Ann Smith

 

What strong emotions! Again, just what we need in the middle section. But, also, a figurative scarecrow rather than the actual thing implied in a kigo.

 

in the autumn mist you look
like a step back in time

                            Margherita Petriccione

 

I like the soft touch of this. As I’ve said before, however, we named a season in verse five and I would like to avoid doing so again, if possible.

 

their late-found love
of mushrooms also

                            Marion Clarke

 

The word “also” is used in a most effective manner.

 

the lovers found
in the new straw

                            Nancy Brady

 

“A needle in a haystack” comes to mind.

 

head over heels
in the morning chill

                            Jonathan Alderfer

 

We may expect love to come through some of the rituals associated with it – dating, matchmaking, etc. But sometimes it just comes when it comes.

 

 

My decision has only come in the process of writing these comments. Here is what I have selected as our fourteenth verse:

 

Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog

                            Christopher Patchel

 

 

Here is what we have, so far:

 

Way of the Wind

 

green barley—
we follow the way
of the wind

                        Lorin Ford

 

kids playing pooh sticks
with plum blossoms

                            Linda Weir

 

the long day opens
with a chime of pots
on the kitchen island

                            Laurie Greer

 

a coin in the cap
of a street busker

                            Andrew Shimield

 

summer moon
low on the hips
of the horizon

                            princess k

 

mosquitoes know that my wife
has sweeter blood

                            Dan Campbell

 

still drawn to him
after all the bumps
along the line

                            Wendy C. Bialek

 

queuing up to enter
the Escher exhibit

                            Carol Judkins

 

do you think
they discovered chaos theory
by chance

                            Keith Evetts

 

three-martini lunch
with old pals from sigma nu

                            Betty Shropshire

 

wolves
in relentless pursuit
across the frozen tundra

                            Sally Biggar

 

pidge porridge hotter
than the fires of hell

                            Michael Henry Lee

 

that delicious fillip
of excitement
from a sidelong glance

                            Marietta McGregor

 

Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog

                            Christopher Patchel

 

 

 

The requirements for verse fifteen will be as follows:

  • A three-line verse of seventeen syllables or less
  • With an autumn moon image (kigo)
  • Without a grammatical break
  • Linking in some way to verse fourteen (and in no obvious way to previous verses)

Regarding moon verses, the words “moon” or “moonlight” are sufficient in themselves as an autumn kigo. In order to be effective as a kigo, they need to present us with literal aspects of the moon or its light, not a figurative representation (moon pie, mooning by dropping one’s trousers, etc.).

 

For this renku, we will be using this site (http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html) as the source for our season words and images.

 

I will be reviewing your offers until midnight on Monday, August 9 (New York time). On Thursday, August 12 there will be a new post in which I will announce my selection of the fifteenth verse, comment on some of the other offers, and issue instructions for writing verse sixteen.

 

Looking forward to your offers!

John

 

 

 

 

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/code-of-conduct/ 

This Post Has 98 Comments

  1. a brief encounter
    behind the school bike sheds
    no moon tonight

    doing the ton
    with vet’ran Stevenson
    on Harley bike

    sorry
    double click –
    two names you see

  2. a brief encounter
    behind the school bike sheds
    no moon tonight

    doing the ton
    with vet’ran Stevenson
    on Harley bike

  3. Is rhis the place to post offers? I sent before on another,
    but now I’ve forgotten the verse. Next time, perhaps.

    Already said it? Where?

  4. Is rhis the place to post offers? I sent before on another,
    but now I’ve forgotten the verse. Next time, perhaps

  5. stardust
    our footsteps stamped
    on a selenian beach
    ***
    new moon
    a blue tide reveals
    our stride
    ***
    crepuscular syndrome
    her call
    had hands
    ***
    moon shadow
    her grip
    tightening

  6. I must be the only person who has never watched Casablanca!

    Verse 1:

    a couple of thieves
    caught out
    by the wandering moon

    Verse 2:

    fly me to the moon
    as life on earth
    is just too difficult

    Verse 3:

    only the moon
    to witness the virus
    creep into the room

    Verse 4:

    in the covid ward
    the moon watches
    the transit from life to death

  7. wherefore
    art thou
    moon

    you’d be shocked
    how the moon
    looks now

    the director’s cut
    a slice
    out of the moon

    a last look
    at the harvest moon
    before the scythe

  8. curtain left open
    for the company
    of the moon
    *
    after another dry day
    even the moon
    is a hot orange
    *

  9. Congratulations Christopher and thanks for your comments last time John

    Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    this time
    the thief
    steals the moon

    the moon
    pays a flying visit
    to the Atlas

    a gibbous moon
    hangs hump-backed
    over Notre Dame

    in the calm
    of moonlight
    the drone of engines

  10. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog
    – Christopher Patchel

    rising moon
    over a fractured landscape
    of unclaimed bodies
    – Betty Shropshire

  11. moonlight and love songs
    are never
    out of date

    (a found verse )…..8/09/2021 by wendy © bialek

  12. bright moon
    all in the glow
    of lovers
    **
    moon hugs them
    in cold duet
    of winter love
    **
    from balcony
    bliss of a sight
    moon waxing

    ***

    absence of moon
    in wintry night
    her lonely window
    ***

    gurgling in bowl
    of porridge
    a soft moon
    ****

    togetherness
    lasting in moon shine
    and after

  13. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    *
    the crescent moon
    tweaks today’s
    departure times
    *

  14. Thank you for choosing and commenting on my verses among the possible choices.
    These are my new proposals

    ***
    this veiled moon
    dampens
    any meloncholy

    ***
    the moon whitens
    the rusty gate
    like new
    good!

    ***
    under the moon
    I rejuvenate
    a little

  15. Grazie per aver scelto e commentato i miei versi tra le possibili scelte John.
    Queste le mie nuove proposte

    ***
    this veiled moon
    dampens
    any meloncholy

    ***
    the moon whitens
    the rusty gate
    like new
    good!

    ***
    under the moon
    I rejuvenate
    a little

  16. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog Christopher Patchel
    *
    no visibility
    only soft winds through
    moonlit leaves

    *
    exiting into
    moonlit puddles
    on wet tarmac

    *
    at the entry gate
    scary moon shadows
    hover

    *
    o for the wings of a dove
    by the light from
    the silvery moon

    *
    throughout Tanabata
    moonbeams flicker
    on silver wings

  17. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    *

    no passport required
    to land
    on the moon

    *

    bang zoom
    the moon knocks it
    out of the park

  18. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    *

    trickle down
    moonlight lost
    in the city’s glow

    *

    moonlit moths
    dance back and forth
    across the border

  19. masked mermaids
    migrating to Miami
    in the moonlight
    *
    applauding my wife’s
    flamenco dancing
    under a full moon
    *
    a scarecrow’s
    silent howl
    beneath a full moon

  20. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog
    Christopher Patchel
    *
    moonlight in the rigging
    as we chart our course
    by the stars
    *
    ‘the moon was
    a ghostly galleon
    tossed upon cloudy seas’
    *
    Alfred Noyes – The Highwayman

    1. Rick and Ilsa
      in the airport fog
      .
      contrails slicing clouds
      to reveal the moon
      .
      clouds playing peek-a-boo
      with the harvest moon
      .
      harvest moon casting shadows
      on the Parisian landscape

      1. Amending..to three line format,

        contrails slice clouds
        in the sky
        revealing the moon
        .
        drifting clouds play
        a game of peek-a-boo
        with the harvest moon
        .
        harvest moon casts
        golden shadows
        on Parisian landmarks

  21. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    hoping that
    a little moon
    escapes the blackout

    no-one asks the moon
    whatever happened
    to that blind pianist

    cumulonimbus
    are curtains
    for moonwatchers

    the moon
    is neutral
    for now

    1. .
      the moon
      over Paris
      on cue
      .
      the moon
      chasing moon shadows
      in Paris
      .
      the moon
      drifting seaward
      down the Seine
      .

  22. some fish
    fly just to see
    the moon
    *
    moonlight
    spilling through cracks
    in the outhouse
    *
    moonlight
    resembles searchlights
    some convicts say

  23. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog
    .
    Christopher Patchel
    .
    the moon
    will still repeat its phases
    as time goes by

  24. .
    Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog
    Christopher Patchel
    .
    the same moon
    in its many phases
    as time goes by

  25. Congratulations, Chris. I’d have found it very hard to pass over this verse of yours, too. 🙂

    John and All: I’ve had time to recall all those old computer haiku people turned their noses up at, for example:

    “A crash reduces
    your expensive computer
    to a simple stone. ”

    My computer crashed. I now have it back, repaired and with new parts. This morning I’ve skimmed all the weeks I’ve missed.
    To Kanjini (& John): I wonder if Kanjini really meant ‘sconce’ in that verse? My feeling is that it might have been ‘scone’,
    which, along with being a baked thing to eat with butter and jam, is an Australian & N.Z. slang word for a human ‘head’ , as in “Not much going on inside Sam’s scone.” (From the Scots, I imagine.)

  26. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    pale moon
    takes off
    a mountain veil

    the moon and we act
    as if everything
    were normal

    a film of high cirrus
    hides the moon’s
    pockmarks

    protesters yowl
    the moon’s not screened
    for variants

  27. alignment
    between me and the moon
    clouds
    ——————–
    in the moonlight
    taste of sea
    enjoying the couscous
    ———————-

  28. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog
    *
    Christopher Patchel
    *
    the waning moon passes
    slick
    as a whistle
    *
    that last crescent
    finally persuaded
    to come clean
    *
    lunar Maria
    looming larger
    over the Bay
    *

  29. Congrats Christopher! A most interesting verse to link to.
    .
    .
    Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog
    .
    Christopher Patchel
    .
    .
    a dime store pistol
    asks a rhetorical question
    of the moon
    .
    how come
    the moon never checks its privilege
    at the door?
    .
    how come
    microaggressions
    rise with the moon?
    .
    how come
    everyone assumes
    the moon’s gender?
    .
    how come
    moonlight is the first
    on the train?
    .
    how come
    no feminazis
    on the moon?
    .
    how come
    the moon in lockstep
    with a fairy ring?
    .
    how come
    moonlight makes brown eyes
    blue?
    .
    how come
    this vaccine passport tattoo
    glows in the moonlight?
    .
    how come
    this echo chamber
    full of moonlight?
    .
    how come
    the moonlight animates a
    charred spine?
    .
    how come
    moonlight trifles with craggy faces
    all lined up?
    .
    .

  30. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog
                                Christopher Patchel

    a new moon
    perfect for outdoor
    movie night

  31. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog
                                Christopher Patchel

    we all share
    the same dark side
    of the moon

  32. Congrats, Christopher! And thank you, John _()_
    .
    taking leave
    of the harvest
    moon
    .
    siphoning sand
    before the next
    full moon
    .
    the bright moon
    still begging
    to be seen
    .
    assuming
    the twin suns
    were two moons
    .

  33. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog
                                Christopher Patchel

    moonlit moons
    dance on mother of pearl
    button blankets

  34. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    another
    curtain call
    with this bright moon

    8/06/2021 by wendy © bialek

  35. refugees say
    the moon was brighter
    back home
    *
    you will never
    forget that full moon
    parked on the runway

  36. ….
    Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel


    a crescent moon
    rocks
    this world
    —-

    1. or last line could be ‘my world’, or ‘our world.’ i struggle with pronouns in renku, i.e., if I use ‘our’ does that make it a love verse because it’s next to a love verse?

      1. The use of pronouns in English-language renku needs to be balanced, like other elements of speech. But these elements are so common that it becomes unreasonable to restrict them in the way that we restrict other things. I think we’re doing well in this renku, so far. We have used “we” (verse 1), “my” (verse 6), “him” (verse 7), and “you” (verse 9). And two of those are in love verses, where pronouns are especially useful. We have just, cleverly, written a final pair of love verses without using any pronouns. So, your question is a good one but there is no pat answer to it. Pronouns are factors, among many, many other factors.

  37. ….
    Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    as the moon wanes
    how more brilliant
    ageing stars

    and they say
    the moon’s
    not made of cheese

  38. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    as the moon wanes
    how more brilliant
    ageing stars

    and they say
    the moon’s
    not made of cheese

  39. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    *

    southbound nighthawks
    follow the river of stars
    on a moonless night

  40. crossing the harvest moon
    with a sick bag
    at the ready
    *
    moonlight leaks
    across
    my seatback screen
    *
    in moonlight
    we spot the pilot
    whales breach beneath us
    *
    clearing the way
    for the next full moon
    he rehearses his howl

  41. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    the blackbird’s song
    to moonrise
    plays again

    in a crescent moon
    the luminescent arcs
    of flying fish

    another billionaire
    occludes the moon
    in transit

    each wet cobble
    a saudade
    in moonlight

    an exile sees
    the moon
    of home

  42. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    — Christopher Patchel

    a golden aura
    round the just-risen
    harvest moon

  43. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    — Christopher Patchel

    taking off
    all my bling to point
    at the moon

  44. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    — Christopher Patchel

    the moon’s
    fragments
    in a cracked mirror

  45. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    — Christopher Patchel

    two long years
    until the next
    blue moon

  46. Playing along for fun! Good one, Christopher.
    **

    Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    — Christopher Patchel

    heaven only knows
    the fate of those tardigrades
    after their moon crash

  47. Congratulations Christopher and thank you John!
    *
    imagine all those
    confused wolves on planets
    with two moons
    *
    howls
    ricocheting
    off the moon

  48. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    ***********

    the view of the lunar eclipse
    blocked by a mass exodus
    of bats

  49. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel
    *
    wildland creatures
    on wary terms
    with the hunter’s moon
    *

  50. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog
    – Christopher Patchel

    earthrise
    from the moon
    so unforgettable
    – Betty Shropshire

  51. congrats to Christopher .. and who could ever resist that allusion!! Thanks, John, for pausing on my oak leaves .. and now, to follow up ..
    ***
    Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog
    – – – – – Christopher Patchel
    **
    a crescent moon
    teeters lopsidedly
    on the Eiffel Tower

  52. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    moon beams
    on
    a delayed flight

    8/05/2021 by wendy © bialek

  53. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel
    *
    the great earthquake
    rolling in
    under a waning crescent
    *

  54. Agreed on the wealth of options with this verse! Thanks for coming up with it, Christopher; thanks for picking it, John.
    *

    Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel
    *
    a net full
    of cod
    under the harvest moon
    *
    city and moon
    rebounding after
    the Great Lisbon Earthquake
    *

  55. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    the shadow
    of a roosting falcon
    by moonlight

    the full moon
    victor
    over the desert

    before
    and after
    the moon

    above
    the miasma
    a full moon

    trying
    to free the moon
    from barbed wire

  56. Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    the moon
    rounding up
    usual suspects

    8/05/2021 by wendy © bialek

    1. Rick and Ilsa
      in the airport fog

      Christopher Patchel

      a moon
      rounds up
      the usual suspects

      8/05/2021 by wendy © bialek

  57. great pickings and commentary, john!
    congrats chris…..this verse surely opens the field to a wide range of responses!

    Rick and Ilsa
    in the airport fog

    Christopher Patchel

    the moon
    rounding up
    the usual suspects

    8/05/2021 by wendy © bialek

  58. Congratulations Chris.

    Casablanca – an all-time top-ten movie.

    So many splendid options. I found this another really instructive and helpful commentary. The mention of others taking an interest in what the group is doing was intriguing and (I hope) encouraging. It would be interesting to hear more of this in the eventual roundup.

    Onwards and – with the moon beckoning – upwards….

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