The Renku Sessions: Way of the Wind – Week 15
I am John Stevenson and I am your guide for a twenty-stanza, nijûin, renku.
My focus, through all of the renku we have completed thus far, has been on those who are submitting verses. As a result of having heard directly this week from some people who were enjoying your work, without actively taking part in it, I realize that there is a wider audience here than I had previously recognized.
We have been working on our final love verse. Here are some of the many offers that I enjoyed:
building scarecrows together
beats marriage counseling
Dan Campbell
the scarecrow ignores
his wedding proposal test-run
Marion Clarke
a few old chestnuts roasted
in the best man’s speech
Keith Evetts
comes the dew chill
as I weep by your grave
Berry Shropshire
fog horns sound
like my mating call
Dan Campbell
composing love tanka
deep into the long night
Liz Ann Winkler
the crickets singing
just for you and me
andrew shimield
Once again, some great offers came from poets who have already been included in the renku.
renewing their vows
with a frolic in the knotweed
Laurie Greer
he scrawls me + you
on a foggy window
Carol Judkins
cwtch by cwtch
under the Milky Way
Keith Evetts
he watches my mouth
extracting pepitas
Wendy C. Bialek
And now I must make my choice from an astounding eleven offers:
how long these nights
without her
Christopher Patchel
This is a very forthright extension of the love theme. The sidelong glance of the previous verse, the spark of an instant, has become the long cool nights of an absence keenly experienced.
the path for the newlyweds
carpeted with red oak leaves
Maxianne Berger
A happy ending for our lovers. And perhaps a happiness that has come late, rather than never. We do have “the way of the wind” to consider and so “the path” might be something that could be said in some other way.
utterly tempted
to a romp in the haystacks
Kanjini Devi
Going for it!
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
Lovely image, familiar to many of us, no doubt. It would be an interesting lead-in to the moon verse, with that plane taking off for Lisbon. We do have the arts covered (verse eight – Escher). Because renku are written by literate artists, there can be a tendency to load them with references to the arts. But we don’t seem to be overdoing that this time and perhaps five intervening verses is an acceptable interval.
new coolness
in her gaze
Pauline O’Carolan
I like that this “coolness” seems to work in the same way as an element of a love verse and as the kigo for an autumn verse. That is; her coolness may be either a come on or a put off. And the autumn’s new coolness may be experienced as either the end of summer or the foreshadowing of winter.
love slippery as sardines
in the shower
Ann Smith
This verse really has the spirit I would love here. I wonder, though, whether this use of the kigo really establishes the season. This was a consideration with quite a few of the offers, by the way. Kigo are rarely figurative. It is something about the essence of the literal thing that tends to make them season markers.
she becomes a scarecrow
to fit the wedding dress
Ann Smith
What strong emotions! Again, just what we need in the middle section. But, also, a figurative scarecrow rather than the actual thing implied in a kigo.
in the autumn mist you look
like a step back in time
Margherita Petriccione
I like the soft touch of this. As I’ve said before, however, we named a season in verse five and I would like to avoid doing so again, if possible.
their late-found love
of mushrooms also
Marion Clarke
The word “also” is used in a most effective manner.
the lovers found
in the new straw
Nancy Brady
“A needle in a haystack” comes to mind.
head over heels
in the morning chill
Jonathan Alderfer
We may expect love to come through some of the rituals associated with it – dating, matchmaking, etc. But sometimes it just comes when it comes.
My decision has only come in the process of writing these comments. Here is what I have selected as our fourteenth verse:
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
Here is what we have, so far:
Way of the Wind
green barley—
we follow the way
of the wind
Lorin Ford
kids playing pooh sticks
with plum blossoms
Linda Weir
the long day opens
with a chime of pots
on the kitchen island
Laurie Greer
a coin in the cap
of a street busker
Andrew Shimield
summer moon
low on the hips
of the horizon
princess k
mosquitoes know that my wife
has sweeter blood
Dan Campbell
still drawn to him
after all the bumps
along the line
Wendy C. Bialek
queuing up to enter
the Escher exhibit
Carol Judkins
do you think
they discovered chaos theory
by chance
Keith Evetts
three-martini lunch
with old pals from sigma nu
Betty Shropshire
wolves
in relentless pursuit
across the frozen tundra
Sally Biggar
pidge porridge hotter
than the fires of hell
Michael Henry Lee
that delicious fillip
of excitement
from a sidelong glance
Marietta McGregor
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
The requirements for verse fifteen will be as follows:
- A three-line verse of seventeen syllables or less
- With an autumn moon image (kigo)
- Without a grammatical break
- Linking in some way to verse fourteen (and in no obvious way to previous verses)
Regarding moon verses, the words “moon” or “moonlight” are sufficient in themselves as an autumn kigo. In order to be effective as a kigo, they need to present us with literal aspects of the moon or its light, not a figurative representation (moon pie, mooning by dropping one’s trousers, etc.).
For this renku, we will be using this site (http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html) as the source for our season words and images.
I will be reviewing your offers until midnight on Monday, August 9 (New York time). On Thursday, August 12 there will be a new post in which I will announce my selection of the fifteenth verse, comment on some of the other offers, and issue instructions for writing verse sixteen.
Looking forward to your offers!
John
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/code-of-conduct/
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a brief encounter
behind the school bike sheds
no moon tonight
doing the ton
with vet’ran Stevenson
on Harley bike
sorry
double click –
two names you see
a brief encounter
behind the school bike sheds
no moon tonight
doing the ton
with vet’ran Stevenson
on Harley bike
Many congratulations to Chris (and thanks for mentioning a couple of mine, John.)
marion
Is rhis the place to post offers? I sent before on another,
but now I’ve forgotten the verse. Next time, perhaps.
Already said it? Where?
Is rhis the place to post offers? I sent before on another,
but now I’ve forgotten the verse. Next time, perhaps
her eyes are shining
as beautiful as moonlight
is in my hand
Nani Mariani
under the full moon
they hug
and deep silence
Nani Mariani
there is not any
that can get in the way of true love
two lovebirds
Nani Mariani
Beautiful ❤️ Congratulations!
sundowning
she grips
at a moon ray
sundowning
she grips
a moon beam
***erratum- French (ray instead or beam)***
stardust
our footsteps stamped
on a selenian beach
***
new moon
a blue tide reveals
our stride
***
crepuscular syndrome
her call
had hands
***
moon shadow
her grip
tightening
gone with the moon
and its many unforgettable
clichés
8/09/2021 by wendy © bialek
even the moon
has vanished
into the clouds
8/09/2021 by wendy © bialek
even the moon
is missing
in action
8/09/2021 by wendy © bialek
even
the moon eludes
the pygmies’ reach
8/09/2021 by wendy © bialek
watching how
the moonbeams rain down
on Heartbreak Hotel
I must be the only person who has never watched Casablanca!
…
Verse 1:
…
a couple of thieves
caught out
by the wandering moon
…
Verse 2:
…
fly me to the moon
as life on earth
is just too difficult
…
Verse 3:
…
only the moon
to witness the virus
creep into the room
…
Verse 4:
…
in the covid ward
the moon watches
the transit from life to death
Pauline,
You are not alone. I have never seen Casablanca either. Just a few scenes, a few lines of dialogue here and there.
wherefore
art thou
moon
you’d be shocked
how the moon
looks now
the director’s cut
a slice
out of the moon
a last look
at the harvest moon
before the scythe
moonbeams bouncing
off the balcony
of the brothel
curtain left open
for the company
of the moon
*
after another dry day
even the moon
is a hot orange
*
Congratulations Christopher and thanks for your comments last time John
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
this time
the thief
steals the moon
the moon
pays a flying visit
to the Atlas
a gibbous moon
hangs hump-backed
over Notre Dame
in the calm
of moonlight
the drone of engines
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
– Christopher Patchel
•
rising moon
over a fractured landscape
of unclaimed bodies
– Betty Shropshire
moonlight and love songs
are never
out of date
(a found verse )…..8/09/2021 by wendy © bialek
most would weep
if they only knew it was
their last full moon
*
moon resting
on a baobab
tree
bright moon
all in the glow
of lovers
**
moon hugs them
in cold duet
of winter love
**
from balcony
bliss of a sight
moon waxing
***
absence of moon
in wintry night
her lonely window
***
gurgling in bowl
of porridge
a soft moon
****
togetherness
lasting in moon shine
and after
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
*
the crescent moon
tweaks today’s
departure times
*
craters
for
eyes
*
barbed wire
stretching across
the moon
*
Thank you for choosing and commenting on my verses among the possible choices.
These are my new proposals
***
this veiled moon
dampens
any meloncholy
***
the moon whitens
the rusty gate
like new
good!
***
under the moon
I rejuvenate
a little
Grazie per aver scelto e commentato i miei versi tra le possibili scelte John.
Queste le mie nuove proposte
***
this veiled moon
dampens
any meloncholy
***
the moon whitens
the rusty gate
like new
good!
***
under the moon
I rejuvenate
a little
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog Christopher Patchel
*
no visibility
only soft winds through
moonlit leaves
*
exiting into
moonlit puddles
on wet tarmac
*
at the entry gate
scary moon shadows
hover
*
o for the wings of a dove
by the light from
the silvery moon
*
throughout Tanabata
moonbeams flicker
on silver wings
nothing ominous
about a lunar eclipse
I assure myself
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
*
no passport required
to land
on the moon
*
bang zoom
the moon knocks it
out of the park
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
*
trickle down
moonlight lost
in the city’s glow
*
moonlit moths
dance back and forth
across the border
masked mermaids
migrating to Miami
in the moonlight
*
applauding my wife’s
flamenco dancing
under a full moon
*
a scarecrow’s
silent howl
beneath a full moon
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
*
moonlight in the rigging
as we chart our course
by the stars
*
‘the moon was
a ghostly galleon
tossed upon cloudy seas’
*
Alfred Noyes – The Highwayman
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
.
contrails slicing clouds
to reveal the moon
.
clouds playing peek-a-boo
with the harvest moon
.
harvest moon casting shadows
on the Parisian landscape
Amending..to three line format,
contrails slice clouds
in the sky
revealing the moon
.
drifting clouds play
a game of peek-a-boo
with the harvest moon
.
harvest moon casts
golden shadows
on Parisian landmarks
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
—
hoping that
a little moon
escapes the blackout
no-one asks the moon
whatever happened
to that blind pianist
cumulonimbus
are curtains
for moonwatchers
the moon
is neutral
for now
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
.
Christopher Patchel
.
the moon
rising on cue
in Paris
.
the moon
over Paris
on cue
.
the moon
chasing moon shadows
in Paris
.
the moon
drifting seaward
down the Seine
.
some fish
fly just to see
the moon
*
moonlight
spilling through cracks
in the outhouse
*
moonlight
resembles searchlights
some convicts say
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
.
Christopher Patchel
.
the moon
will still repeat its phases
as time goes by
.
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
.
the same moon
in its many phases
as time goes by
Congratulations, Chris. I’d have found it very hard to pass over this verse of yours, too. 🙂
John and All: I’ve had time to recall all those old computer haiku people turned their noses up at, for example:
“A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone. ”
My computer crashed. I now have it back, repaired and with new parts. This morning I’ve skimmed all the weeks I’ve missed.
To Kanjini (& John): I wonder if Kanjini really meant ‘sconce’ in that verse? My feeling is that it might have been ‘scone’,
which, along with being a baked thing to eat with butter and jam, is an Australian & N.Z. slang word for a human ‘head’ , as in “Not much going on inside Sam’s scone.” (From the Scots, I imagine.)
Thanks Lorin. Glad to hear your computer problems have been resolved.
joyriding
in a bi-plane
beneath a sickle moon
here’s looking
at the moon
instead, kid
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
—
pale moon
takes off
a mountain veil
the moon and we act
as if everything
were normal
a film of high cirrus
hides the moon’s
pockmarks
protesters yowl
the moon’s not screened
for variants
alignment
between me and the moon
clouds
——————–
in the moonlight
taste of sea
enjoying the couscous
———————-
grandma sipping
moonshine in the
moonlight
*
moons
affect the moods
of mermaids
*
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
*
Christopher Patchel
*
the waning moon passes
slick
as a whistle
*
that last crescent
finally persuaded
to come clean
*
lunar Maria
looming larger
over the Bay
*
Congrats Christopher! A most interesting verse to link to.
.
.
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
.
Christopher Patchel
.
.
a dime store pistol
asks a rhetorical question
of the moon
.
how come
the moon never checks its privilege
at the door?
.
how come
microaggressions
rise with the moon?
.
how come
everyone assumes
the moon’s gender?
.
how come
moonlight is the first
on the train?
.
how come
no feminazis
on the moon?
.
how come
the moon in lockstep
with a fairy ring?
.
how come
moonlight makes brown eyes
blue?
.
how come
this vaccine passport tattoo
glows in the moonlight?
.
how come
this echo chamber
full of moonlight?
.
how come
the moonlight animates a
charred spine?
.
how come
moonlight trifles with craggy faces
all lined up?
.
.
the teamwork
of moonlit migrants
jumping the wall
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
a new moon
perfect for outdoor
movie night
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
we all share
the same dark side
of the moon
Congrats, Christopher! And thank you, John _()_
.
taking leave
of the harvest
moon
.
siphoning sand
before the next
full moon
.
the bright moon
still begging
to be seen
.
assuming
the twin suns
were two moons
.
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
moonlit moons
dance on mother of pearl
button blankets
another
curtain call
for this bright moon
8/06/2021 by wendy © bialek
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
another
curtain call
with this bright moon
8/06/2021 by wendy © bialek
refugees say
the moon was brighter
back home
*
you will never
forget that full moon
parked on the runway
….
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
—
a crescent moon
rocks
this world
—-
or last line could be ‘my world’, or ‘our world.’ i struggle with pronouns in renku, i.e., if I use ‘our’ does that make it a love verse because it’s next to a love verse?
The use of pronouns in English-language renku needs to be balanced, like other elements of speech. But these elements are so common that it becomes unreasonable to restrict them in the way that we restrict other things. I think we’re doing well in this renku, so far. We have used “we” (verse 1), “my” (verse 6), “him” (verse 7), and “you” (verse 9). And two of those are in love verses, where pronouns are especially useful. We have just, cleverly, written a final pair of love verses without using any pronouns. So, your question is a good one but there is no pat answer to it. Pronouns are factors, among many, many other factors.
TY. 🙏🏻
miles apart
I look at the moon
you look at
….
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
—
as the moon wanes
how more brilliant
ageing stars
and they say
the moon’s
not made of cheese
or simply:
the moon’s
not made
of cheese
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
—
as the moon wanes
how more brilliant
ageing stars
and they say
the moon’s
not made of cheese
another version
on this moonless night
migrating nighthawks follow
the river of stars
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
*
southbound nighthawks
follow the river of stars
on a moonless night
sixteenth night
brighter than before
our shadow
crossing the harvest moon
with a sick bag
at the ready
*
moonlight leaks
across
my seatback screen
*
in moonlight
we spot the pilot
whales breach beneath us
*
clearing the way
for the next full moon
he rehearses his howl
a stray moon
followed me home
last night
*
full moons
prevent leaps
from bridges
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
—
the blackbird’s song
to moonrise
plays again
in a crescent moon
the luminescent arcs
of flying fish
another billionaire
occludes the moon
in transit
each wet cobble
a saudade
in moonlight
an exile sees
the moon
of home
if it’s Thursday
this moon must be
in Singapore
If we can’t travel to Belgium at least we can laugh, Michael Henry! 🙂 cheers, Marietta
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
— Christopher Patchel
a golden aura
round the just-risen
harvest moon
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
— Christopher Patchel
taking off
all my bling to point
at the moon
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
— Christopher Patchel
the moon’s
fragments
in a cracked mirror
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
— Christopher Patchel
two long years
until the next
blue moon
Playing along for fun! Good one, Christopher.
**
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
— Christopher Patchel
heaven only knows
the fate of those tardigrades
after their moon crash
Congratulations Christopher and thank you John!
*
imagine all those
confused wolves on planets
with two moons
*
howls
ricocheting
off the moon
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
***********
the view of the lunar eclipse
blocked by a mass exodus
of bats
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
*
wildland creatures
on wary terms
with the hunter’s moon
*
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
– Christopher Patchel
•
earthrise
from the moon
so unforgettable
– Betty Shropshire
Wouldn’t it be stunning, Betty? Good one!
Marietta
Definitely, Marietta!!
congrats to Christopher .. and who could ever resist that allusion!! Thanks, John, for pausing on my oak leaves .. and now, to follow up ..
***
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
– – – – – Christopher Patchel
**
a crescent moon
teeters lopsidedly
on the Eiffel Tower
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
moon beams
on
a delayed flight
8/05/2021 by wendy © bialek
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
*
the great earthquake
rolling in
under a waning crescent
*
Agreed on the wealth of options with this verse! Thanks for coming up with it, Christopher; thanks for picking it, John.
*
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
*
a net full
of cod
under the harvest moon
*
city and moon
rebounding after
the Great Lisbon Earthquake
*
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
—
the moon
and I
are just good friends
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
—
the shadow
of a roosting falcon
by moonlight
the full moon
victor
over the desert
before
and after
the moon
above
the miasma
a full moon
trying
to free the moon
from barbed wire
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
the moon
rounding up
usual suspects
8/05/2021 by wendy © bialek
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
a moon
rounds up
the usual suspects
8/05/2021 by wendy © bialek
great pickings and commentary, john!
congrats chris…..this verse surely opens the field to a wide range of responses!
Rick and Ilsa
in the airport fog
Christopher Patchel
the moon
rounding up
the usual suspects
8/05/2021 by wendy © bialek
Congratulations Chris.
Casablanca – an all-time top-ten movie.
So many splendid options. I found this another really instructive and helpful commentary. The mention of others taking an interest in what the group is doing was intriguing and (I hope) encouraging. It would be interesting to hear more of this in the eventual roundup.
Onwards and – with the moon beckoning – upwards….