The Renku Sessions: Timber Smoke – Week 6
Greetings and welcome to The Haiku Foundation’s current Renku Session entitled, ‘Timber Smoke’. I am Marshall Hryciuk of Toronto, Canada and I will be leading this session through a 36-link kasen renku.
So for the concluding verse of our opening processional, we have:
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
This takes up the visual surprise of “day moon” in verse 5 and moves it into a domestic setting; the kitchen, or at least, an eating area, suggestive of taste. Where that moon was distant and barely perceivable, these images, still on a flat surface are near to the eye and to the heart of the observer. They’re in miniature yet the feelings they evoke are immense. And further there is a lovely evocation of abundance without waste in the “crumbs” and the innocence of childhood in “handprints” – ‘fingerprints’ would have sounded too ‘forensic’ here and evoke an adult atmosphere.
I also appreciate the ambiguity of “would miss them” that could happen either or both in the present -if the viewer hadn’t looked at the surface -or in the anticipated future, when the child or children are no lnger co-habiting with the viewer and that ‘crumbless’ surface would be a reinforecement of that loss.
So, to the visual stimulus of a distant day moon, Pamela has added an element of close and personal nostalgia giving a human touch to an immediate present and thoughts of a future.
Thank-you, Pamela.
What we need now is 3 lines, spring, indoors or out.
We can now proceed into the consideration of phrases with exaggeration, strident or irruptive action and spectacular language, though the links for the next 24 need not contain any of these, it could be allowed to have them.
We do require foreign words or phrases, names of festivals, Proper names, Place names and a numeral to be included in this renku, but we don’t need to accomplish this all at once. And remember, evoking the seasonality of spring here cannot include the names or reference to flowers or blossoms as that is reserved for the spring verse of number 17.
So, 3 lines, no break or kireji (= a groundstroke’) of spring
Happy linking
Marshall
Timber Smoke (so far)
nothing dimmed yet
timber smoke scent
sifts into the house
Marshall Hryciuk
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
a file of cars
overtaking a tractor
on the mountain road
Keith Evetts
drawn out deer notes
echo in the coolness
Betty Shropshire
even paler
than the clearing fog
day moon
Mary White
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
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celebrating
Passover, we than the Lord
for being spared
time’s river
flows backward
briefly
clovers in Chernobyl
have thirteen
glowing leaves
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
— Pamela Garry
we spend hours
listening to Jacques Brel
as the rivers swell
**
our losses replaced
when the skylark soars
above our fields
the soft vowels
of a shower
soak the meadow
.
a freshet
where just weeks ago
an ice dam
fingerless gloves
sowing seeds as daffodils
bob in the breeze
Oops did you stipulate no flowers?
To amend….
fingerless gloves
sowing seeds – snow shower
Easter breeze
at the renku table
Marshall serves a combo
to Laurie Greer
say yes!
jack be nimble
and be quick
jumping humpty dumpty’s walls
a dust laden globe
taking up space
left to the beaver
balmy breezes
a welcome setting
for our wedding
torrents of rain
as I drive him to the vet
one last time
after long absence
the nightingale’s song
in the courtyard
when Mother awakes
and sees the mess
we’re gonna be toast
I like the double inference of your verse, Rob –
our own mother or that of mother-earth, and haven’t we made a mess of things regarding the latter.
thanks for seeing that Carol!
rainshowers bring
mud-pie kitchens
and puddle stomping
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
wobbling
the prize foal
rises to his feet
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
*
not the serious adults
they aspire to be
at their graduation fest
*
dancing around the May pole
with slippery ribbons
in their hair
*
at the
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
*
stay out of
Mr McGregor’s garden
says Peter’s mum
the blink
of an emerging hedgehog
spiked with straw
the fly
on the frog’s nose
gone in a blink
telltale signs
rabbits have been
at the asparagus
spring bank
extra day of holiday –
a king is crowned
riding the John Deer
Dad plows long furrows
all day
cherry blossom bouquets
and new kimonos
for my inflatable girlfriend
imagine those bees
dancing with joy
in their hives
warming up the sand
with cartwheels
on Brighton Beach
box turtle in my hands
gorges on rasberries
he could never reach
what if
i never looked down
to see the water break
my yellow raincoat
and frizzling hair
on the Maid of the Mist
lizard watches
a parade of ants
harvesting a leaf
butterflies
open and close
on the budding buddleia bush
fiddleheads wait
under the budding
trumpet vines
a rainbow
lifting up the curtains
of a Colorado haboob
a rainbow
lifts the curtains
of a Colorado haboob
blooming skies
kite gardens
sway in breeze
Amish men
cut hay with their scythes
in morning sun
a lizard
suns itself
on the patio
fragrant rain
carries baritone voices
on warm breezes
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
holding back
my baby’s birth
for one more April day
revised:
holding back
my baby’s birth
for one more April morn
swans gliding on the duck pond
with
invisible pull strings
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
*
fetching stalks
the coot on the canal
builds s nest
woops!
line 3: builds a nest
the FOR SALE sign
on the manicured lawn
says PENDING
children’s day
raising awareness
to their health
a warming stream
in the sierra nevada
a family pans
the AM PM pill box
in lieu of bouquet
long live “l’chaim!”
the start of thaw
en plein air
sharing brushes with the wind
one small tortoiseshell
butterfly soars over
the yellow birch tree
one shoe
stuck in the mud
filled field
tea time
on the veranda
with bird songs
the balloon man
strolls through the park
singing softly
Congrats Pamela and thank you Marshall
counting kite wrecks
beached on
our roof
counting the frisbees
that sailed
onto our roof
families gather
to spatter their colours
at the Holi festival
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
*
tossing
his cum laude tassels
to the four winds
*
bare trees
mere pencil shadows
awaiting a rain cloud
the mystery beneath
the veiled image
of Passiontide
*
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
*
hosing off the dust
from a rainbow
of crocs
*
tornado chaser’s
first and last
post on TikTok
– Betty Shropshire
*
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
*
giving pollen
a lift
on the bicycle helmet
*
mockingbirds
call back
to the bicycle bells
*
hi Pamela
-I like both of these -i would like it even better if we combined them for a denser and more sensual effect
as: giving pollen
a lift
on the bicycle bells
Would you agree to this? Thanks -Marshall
Sorry, Laurie, i meant to address you as it was your link i wanted to use
giving pollen
a lift
on the bicycle bells
by Laurie Greer
Would be a very nice verse -Marshall
Sorry, Laurie, i meant to address you as it was your link i wanted to use
*
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
*
changing the storm window
for a slim
supple screen
*
Sorry, Laurie, i meant to address you as it was your link i wanted to use
*
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
*
cleaning
with the fragrances
of open windows
*
the cleaning starts
and ends
with open windows
*
courting
copper pheasants
test their mettle
empty shells
of mud-snails
in the small boy’s bucket
sniffles must be
from these
allergies again
– Betty Shropshire
Lent
on a walk
without
Pamela . . . well and truly a lovely verse!
*
forecasting when
the thinning ice
will break
– Betty Shropshire
the last snippet
in the morning news
is a honeybee breakout
a pike
and 3-2-1
ducklings
slug-abeds
wake to the song
of a hoover
none but the shepherd
knows wherefore
little lambs bounce
hanging up
at the end of Vivaldi’s
first season
a new hatch
of mayfly
dimples the stream
In the garden
a blush of young robins
feasts on wild berries
…
a fresh breeze
through the screen door
overtaking the smokiness
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
the strength of
the Tradewinds being
measured in decibels
his first communion
still seems like it
were yesterday
forestalling
the breakup we knew
that was coming
last years
gathered herbs sprinkle
on his heart-healthy salad
(hope this one works for you, Lorin…and
calms the roiling waters in a pot previously
waiting for people stew.)
correction:
last year’s
gathered herbs sprinkle
on his heart-healthy salad
5….day moon
6
hand prints and crumbs
how I would miss them 7
7
spring cleaning
includes sticky banisters
and a stained floor
thawed at at last !
muddy boots are censored
at the door
bits of this and that
sauces, mustard, ketchup –
supper’s ready
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
updated E.T.
iphones
home
lovely, subtle verse, Pamela and Marshall.
—
budding branches
suddenly alive
with greenfinches
new fiddleheads unfold
to the pizzicato
of the rain
arriving storks
find twigs aplenty
in the battlefield
meadow pipits
thrilled to brood
the cuckoo’s egg
all the village girls
but Sally
dance around the maypole
the first frog
sings after lunch
on Easter Sunday
a string of soap bubbles
pop on impressed
stepping stones
beside a field
muddy rocks
fill a wheelbarrow
warm enough
for our garden toad
to emerge
So wonderful , Pamela and Marshall!
a little girl
sprays a wheelbarrow
of muddy rocks
so simple yet so poignant Pamela, thank you for this jewel.
as always Marshall your taste for artistic subtlety finds the best.
mixed salad green seeds
spill from the single crease
of her palms
cleaning the let down
from her job interview
blouse
and:
cleaning the let down
from my job interview
blouse
mixed salad green seeds
spill from the small
of her palms
the cardiologist orders
a little Mrs. Dash to be
sprinkled on his salads
thinning it down:
M.D. orders
Mrs. Dash to be sprinkled
on his salads
or
doctor orders Mrs. Dash
to be sprinkled
on his salad
Yikes, Wendy! Cannibalism, Yankee style?
Thank you,
Lorin …for your practical pointers, always on top of things….and shaking them up, LOL!
i got your humourous rub!
by now you have googled it….as the salt-less seasoning is sold in AU.
i was unaware that the name is now changed. Again, thank you for heartily pointing this out to me.
“Why was Mrs removed from Mrs. Dash seasoning?
Mrs. Dash Drops the “Mrs.”-Just Goes by Dash Now
The company didn’t explain why Mrs. Dash is dropping those three little letters—maybe that’s between her and Mr. Dash—but the newly shortened name is supposed to signify how quickly one can use the two dozen different Dash seasonings, mixes, and marinades to spice up their meals.Feb 21, 2020″ from a google search, i just did.
and furthermore…”to add salt to the wound” LOL
i have been using an OLD glass bottle of Mrs Dash which i refill with my own home-grown organic herbs, etc. as a salt-less seasoning for my husband….( i almost lost due to a heart attack)
fish bowl
for their carnival prize
found at the yard sale
a used fish bowl
found at the yard sale
for their carnival prize
the FOR SALE sign
on the front lawn
says SOLD
finally
able to sing
hallelujah
Congrats, Pamela, on being selected for your lovely verse.
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
*
cotton candy
matches the cabbage patch
twin strollers
super spectacular, perfect human verse, Pamela and another priceless addition to our renku…Marshall.
waterproofs packed
to walk the
Camino De Santiago
staring at the bare patch
in the garden
number three on the list
staring at the bare patch
I plot its future
first spring breeze
staring at the bare patch
I plot its future
in the garden
Final redo:
bare patch
number three
on the garden list
….
staring at the patch
in the garden
I plot its future stay
I am changing both poems above…and scratching my second poem, as it mentions the name of a season which I understand is not acceptable. I have a redo below.
*final redo above.
For subtlety this one can’t be beat! It took me a while, but once I saw what was going on, I’ve been deeply impressed. Thanks to Pamela and Marshall.
*
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
*
snowmelt runs
off
to the circus grounds
*
snowmelt comes
in furrows
and giggles
*
oops! “…no reference to flowers or blossoms…” Marshall, I guess that would include flower seeds?
I toss wild flower seeds
into the bare patch
behind the fence
Congratulations, Pamela, an expressive and tender verse. Well done.
Congratulations Pamela… a delightful verse! Thank-you for your beautiful poems!
Thank-you Marshall for choosing a perfect verse for our renku.
I’m trying…
but I guess renku is not for me to understand. Yet?
Hi Sebastian, I am sure renku should be for you, now. I would suggest approaching the writing of renku as if you were writing a haiku poem. Correct me if I am wrong, but this method has always worked for me and takes away some of the mystery. See if you can fit your poem’s theme to connect in some way with the last renku response posted. Your poem should be 3 lines or a verse of 2 lines, depending on the week. Reading Marshall’s directions at the beginning of each week’s session helps a a lot. I recommend reading his directions for each of the renku sessions that has been posted since August, to get a better idea. I would also like to suggest “Renku Reckoner” a book by John Carley , which Carol Jones recommended earlier in our session. The best advice I believe I could give is to jump right in and enjoy the fun:)
Thanks very much Madeleine, I’ll try to get and read Renku Reckoner as I feel I need more guidance into this world of renku which seems to require a big leap from my usual haiku writing.
Sounds good, Sebastian! I hope you will join us soon:)
Dear Diana and Marshal, I am amazingly touched and honored that you can deeply experience my words. We each bring so much of ourselves into the reading and writing of these quirky poems. When I was writing these two little lines, the handprints were my husband’s. Since our childhoods are an essential part of us, your interpretations make perfect sense to me. Thank you for this uplift. Pamela
Awww Pamela… another interpretation that I have experienced…. As I have a partner/husband who leaves handprints and crumbs that I would miss too. Very beautiful. 🙏
handprints and crumbs
I would miss them
Pamela Garry
St. Anthony’s bread
from the hands of
the Custos
Beautiful… to experience something I never will … through these two lines. I never had children, not that I didn’t want to… for I did want them so much… but it is too late now. My season is over. But I could feel this… and definitely miss what I would have missed. How poignant and touching. This group makes me feel safe to be so vulnerable.
Thank you Pamela and Marshall.