Greetings and welcome to The Haiku Foundation’s current Renku Session entitled, ‘Timber Smoke’. I am Marshall Hryciuk of Toronto, Canada and will be leading this session through a 36-link kasen renku.
Okay, we have the link for verse 4. It is:
drawn out deer notes
echo in the coolness
This picks up nicely on the indefinite character of the moving up the mountain road to…anywhere and then places us outside of any domestic or enclosed environment and brings us into a relatively wild one. Deer-hunting season is in the autumn and the sound trailing off here could be plaintive; a doe wounded by arrow, bullet or car; or hushed, as between a doe and her fawn or the reverse of that; a buck’s distant announcement of his presence in his territory. We don’t know. And even if there was in fact a violent act the yelp was in response to, it didn’t happen directly within our range of distinct listening and was ‘off-stage’ and inconclusive.
Not only evocative of the indefinite but the “notes” repeat themselves in progressively less audible echoes.
“Echo” is particularly appealing as a link here if we also read, “echo in” as a transitive verb. reading it that way too, it can be felt to usher in, so gently, the coolness of autumn that is a precursor to winter. All up and through the undefined air.
A delightful link taking impetus from the previous one and at the same time setting our renku up for the first moon verse; which will probably have some visual aspect whereas this link in fact has none.
So, what we need now is 3 lines, in autumn with an aspect of the moon implied or stated. This can be a haiku and have a kireji or a break in it, but doesn’t have to.
Still no exaggerated language or strident action ‘on stage’ but a shift away from the ‘indefinite’ might be plausible
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