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The Renku Sessions: Timber Smoke – Week 14

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Greetings and welcome to The Haiku Foundation’s current Renku Session entitled, ‘Timber Smoke’. I am Marshall Hryciuk of Toronto, Canada and I will be leading this session through a 36-link kasen renku.

 

A perfect fit for verse 14. It is:

 

a whirligig of leaves
sweeps the deck clean                              

Wendy C. Bialek

 

The sudden and intense movement of the whirligig makes explicit in the natural realm what is embraced but without motion in the human realm by the passionate song of Jacques Brel.

The word, “leaves” brings autumn to us as they are dispersed; all at once clearing remnants of leaves and other detritus from “the deck.” A cause-and-effect verse, but one without a human agent, whose result is of no benefit to the whirligig.

Also serves to remind us that most verses in a renku are not haiku but serve to relay the energy and set up ‘designer’ verses; enhancing thrones that are haiku.

So, here, i called this verse a perfect fit because it clears space; of the mind, in the sky, for our second moon verse. By virtue of a circular motion, it’s as if the clouds have parted and we’re open for a moon to be seen shining.

So, thank-you, Wendy C. Bialek.

 

Thus, it’s autumn again, the moon again. We can move away from a day-moon, the blue moon, a red moon and a Hunter’s Moon and the like. What we need is a sustained sense of autumn and the presence of the moon.

A deck could also evoke a sea-going vessel –

Smooth sailing, smooth linking

Marshall

 

 

Timber Smoke (so far)

 

nothing dimmed yet
timber smoke scent
sifts into the house

Marshall Hryciuk

 

one by one
I pick plums off of the ground

Alfred Booth

 

a file of cars
overtaking a tractor
on the mountain road

Keith Evetts

 

drawn out deer notes
echo in the coolness

Betty Shropshire

 

even paler
than the clearing fog
day moon

Mary White

 

handprints  and crumbs
I would miss them

Pamela Garry

 

giving pollen
a lift
on the bicycle bells

Laurie Greer

 

the tiffany blue
of 3 eggs in a nest

Eavonka Ettinger

 

scattered spores
following a random trail
through landmines

John Hawkhead

 

attempted murder
by the morality police

Rob Barkan

 

next door’s dog
barks
at our snowman

Carol Jones

 

the mailman’s breath
faintly white

Keith Evetts

 

Jacques Brel singing
“in the port of Amsterdam”
on the radio

Alfred Booth and Marshall Hryciuk

 

a whirligig of leaves
sweeps the deck clean

Wendy C. Bialek

 

 

 

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This Post Has 172 Comments

  1. Lovely, fun verse Wendy!

    sleeping out
    on the trimaran
    beneath a gold moon

    falling asleep
    to the slap of waves
    under a gold moon

    1. thanks, deb….

      lovely set! deb

      falling asleep
      to the slap of waves
      under a gold moon

      Debbie Scheving

      love this one! deb

    1. wendy– this one’s as wonderfully magically whimsical as all of the rest of your verses into this week’s session. especially the ones with coins in the fountain. just WOW.

    1. intriguing offering, Pamela! my mind is spinning!

      this brings a thousand questions to my mind!
      (1)
      the ever persistant dilemma of does a painting of a flower qualify for the designer verse for blossom/flower verse? and does this even apply here? ( if the picture was taken on the moon….then that was a real place…the moon).
      (2)
      is the word “portrait”….meaning the position/mode/ size of the picture? like paper in a printer? if it refers to the subject/content in the picture….it would usually mean a person, or animal. whereas a this appears to be in the landscape family, which includes things like seascapes, moonscapes, or lunar landscapes, etc.

      which leads me to the next question:
      (3)
      the word “home”…..if that refers to earth…..what do we do with the piece of moon that shows in the same picture?

      which leads me to the next question?
      (4)
      which picture and what mission is this autumn/moon verse based on?

      would love to know Marshall’s reflection on these details, as to how they may apply to this renku designer verse and any other renku seasonal verse ???

      1. Hi Wendy! Earthrise is a photograph of Earth and part of the Moon’s surface that was taken from lunar orbit by astronaut William Anders on December 24, 1968, during the Apollo 8 mission. It was the first color photograph of Earth taken from space and quickly circulated around the world. It became an emblem promoting environmental activism and awareness in 1970.

      2. hi Wendy -i think you can quickly clear up some of your dilemnas if you see the haiku, the designer verse in a renku and all genuine haiku as being ‘within its words’ not within the referent; not what the words refer to. So the origin of the verse orthe ‘object category’ don’t matter; what is important is that the proposed haiku evoke a deeper dimension while being able to be read as a simple refelection. I’m sorry i can’t remeber who said it, but a Japanese writer said that if writing a fiction bestseller successfully lay telling a lie as if it were the truth,
        writing a good haiku was writing the the truth as if it were a lie. Unencumbered perception with no indicated bias from the writer; no directives or arguments from the writer.
        So categories of origin don’t matter. Just writing well and losing the self-reflective mirror is a strong start.
        And thanks for all the enthusiastic comments
        Marshall

        1. thank you! Marshall! i am so pleased that you set aside the time to reach deep for me….to explain so beautifully, clearly, and succinctly what i needed to hear. this helped me in a profound way to quell my dilemmas. i will be able to read work in
          an uncluttered way….and strive to write unfettered.

          thank you again and again. i think i will make a plaque of your words, (with your permission and credit them to you)….maybe, burned into wood, and hang it in my writing room as a source of reference, and reminder.

      3. thank you pamela for taking the time to answer the question about “which
        picture and mission” you referenced for your verse.

        now that Marshall has explained to me….it doesn’t really matter…..

        at the time i asked it….i wanted to know which picture and which mission….so i could understand your verse better.
        as i believe there were many missions, and pictures captured (some more iconic than others)….
        some were in just B&W, some had colour, some were shot with slide film, taken by hand on camera with telephoto lens, some i believe were taken by pre-installed equipment on body of space vessel, some were taken from space, some after landing. i believe one originally shot was a horizontal view, but was felt to not flatter the earth, they turned the view to the vertical position to give a more favorable look to the earth.
        yes, i am also educated on these events and the movements they inspired to protect our fragile, precious Earth! i lived it in real time…before everyone could have access to the internet…so glad we both see this as a very relevant event for all times….and a worthy topic to write about. and you did a great job expressing it in your verse.

        1. Thanks Rob and Wendy! But I forgot it will backlink with mailman breath

          the russet air
          of the woods rises
          on moonlit walk

  2. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek
    ***

    distant thunder . . .
    clouds gather in the mist
    of my musings

    burnished gold
    melds into the lake . . .
    leaves’ reincarnation

    cracked sky . . .
    constellations at play
    hide and seek

    Ivan Gaćina

    1. burnished gold
      melds into the lake . . .
      leaves’ reincarnation

      Ivan Gaćina

      much beauty in this one ivan

  3. thanks for all those compliments, laurie.

    i just knew you would start linking to the ‘deck’ with a card game!
    like the back of my hand…lol!

  4. Marshall, i love your haiku of the day poem….even more than the shape….i enjoy the purposely displaced, double-entendre word, “falling”!

      1. migrating with the moon
        the Great Pacific Garbage Patch
        left in the cold

        And Marshall, I am swept away by your haiku of the day on the home page!

        1. Thanks Pamela for the notice, and thanks to Charlotte Hrenchuk for placing mine on what is known in Canada as ‘Remembrance Day’ -we don’t have a ‘Memorial Day’ -so it’s an honour to have a haiku of mine to be selected for this day.
          A day of thanks all around -Marshall

        2. migrating with the moon…
          the Great Pacific Garbage Patch
          left in the cold

          ( just added an ellipsis)

  5. fisher moon
    the bearded-apple folk
    cast a whale of a tale

    *

    with the moon
    in my belly
    i blow out a galaxy

    *

    moonless
    no compass or map
    blinddiving sea pearls

    *

    helping moon
    the eyes of the monkey
    in driftwood knots

  6. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    we stumble on
    a tumble-down carousel
    by the light of the moon
    *
    moonlight shows us
    to a tumble-down
    carousel

    1. we stumble on
      a tumble-down carousel
      by the light of the moon

      Laurie Greer

      a fine mysterious scene laurie, love it

  7. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    the players keep their hands
    close to their chests
    around the waning moon
    *
    the hand
    that draws the wild card
    under the gibbous moon
    *

  8. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek
    ***
    the swarming
    of barn dancers
    for the « moonlight medley »
    ***
    after the gig
    moonbeams still dancing
    from the mirror ball
    ***

  9. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    playing shoot the moon
    with the moon
    and a yo-yo

  10. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek

    *
    where the moon
    joins the chicken
    atop a weathervane
    *
    the moon begins
    to set
    atop the weathervane

  11. numb fingers
    mark the rhumb line
    to the moon

    is it the lantern
    swinging in the gimbals
    or the moon

    full moon
    quelling the waves
    for the landlubber

    by the moon
    close hauled
    in freshening wind

    just the cold moon
    crosses the Channel
    where the dinghy was

    1. Harrison: a fellow sailor! I like the numb-rhumb as we plot a course along the moon’s reflection.

  12. under an armistice moon
    another wave
    of rockets

    with the morning chill
    a stowaway moon
    in every porthole

    moon-bathing
    the hot tub
    big enough for both of us

  13. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek

    *
    turning his hand
    to sketching the moon
    by moonlight
    *

  14. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek

    *
    caught up in the moon
    he forgets to keep pushing
    the revolving door
    *
    caught up in the moon
    he neglects
    the revolving door
    *
    caught up in the moon
    he misses his turn
    in the revolving door
    *

  15. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean
    — Wendy C. Bialek

    the bowing moon
    beckoning me to dance
    among naked trees

  16. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek

    day moon glamours
    crows take turns to tumble
    with falling leaves

  17. rowing back
    to days of serenity
    this moon shade

    moment of thrill
    this cool moon
    never forgotten

  18. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean
    —Wendy C. Bialek

    so many clouds
    over Lyon’s confluence
    when was the moon full?
    **

  19. phosphorus waves
    curl off the bow
    under lunar light

    the corona of night
    slips
    across harvested fields

    flashing its face
    under racing clouds
    the sickle moon rises

  20. the mailman’s breath
    faintly white

    Jacques Brel singing
    “in the port of Amsterdam”
    on the radio
    14
    a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Ring round the moon
    a polluted night sky
    is empty, blank

    clouds race
    brass rails glint and fade
    in passing moonlight

    an early cleaner
    switches on the suction
    in his truck

    1. clouds race
      brass rails glint and fade
      in passing moonlight

      Dick Pettit

      exquisite images….loving it!, Dick

  21. An energetic verse, Wendy! Well done.
    marion

    a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    the moon
    resting on the worn seat
    of Grandpa’s rocker

    evening begins
    with a gift of opal
    moonlight

    above the bay
    nothing
    but the moon

    little by little
    an abandoned currach
    fills with moonlight

    the moon
    slip-sliding
    on wet planks

  22. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek

    a precious masterpiece, so well done, Wendy!

    and much gratitude to Marshall for choosing
    such a fitting and special poem.

    1. I didn’t realize how menacing these lines sound:/. Wish I hadn’t posted.
      (“Treasure Island”, even though a scary story, has always been a favorite of mine.)

      1. Captain flint was the pirate that commandeered “the Walrus” and Long John Silver was the pirate who befriended the little boy Jim Hawkins, the main character and narrator of the story. (I can see now that my post wouldn’t work well with the renku:)

  23. don’t know which is the most rewarding; the writing of verse(s), its inclusion in renku,
    or reading the the verses as they stream in, spawned by my verse…or others.
    just a little note of thank you to all party goers for sharing this creative joy of renkuing with me….

  24. casting drops of gold
    over the spooner boat
    a gibbous moon

    a half shadow
    the fishing trawler
    patrols the cooling waters

  25. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek

    *
    spinning back the clock
    in the wee hours
    of moonlight
    of moonlight

    1. oops–erase that last line. Sorry!

      spinning back the clock
      in the wee hours
      of moonlight

  26. Congratulations, Wendy, on your verse.

    a whirling of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    sailor’s moon
    a catamaran glides
    over the stars
    .
    the twin-keeler heels
    on a beam reach
    sailor’s moon

      1. Wendy,
        Thanks for commenting on a verse of mine in such a positive manner. It’s appreciated.

        Yes, I have some experience with sailboats. My husband sailed long before we met, and we actually bought and sailed a twin-keeler, made in Great Britain. It replaced a sloop which he had before we were married. We live about a block from Lake Erie where we sailed. Alas, we no longer have the sailboat, but the lake can be as rough as the North Sea, and then the twin-keeler will dig in and heel on a beam reach.

  27. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek

    soft glide
    of the canoe
    moonlit lake

  28. free sailing moon
    on every wish
    in the fountain

    many thanks, Marshall for finding a fitting place for a ‘whirligig’ verse.
    An honour to be included in this Timber Smoke renku!

  29. Congratulations Wendy! Love ‘whirligig’.

    a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek

    was it a witch
    or a crow
    sailed over the moon

    wave after wave
    sparkles at the crest
    with moonlight

    1. thanks, harrison…you have a wonderful, whimsical way with words! i believe, your name will be appearing soon on the renku, as well.

  30. Congratulations, Wendy! Lovely verse!
    Thank you for the guidance, Marshall!

    a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek

    ferrying
    the moonlight
    in his drink

    1. thanks for the nice words, Amoolya

      very, very nice!

      ferrying
      the moonlight
      in his drink

      Amoolya Kamalnath

  31. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek

    *
    the scarecrow buttons
    the coat of moondust
    over his shoulders
    *

  32. Congratulations, Wendy! Love the word “whirligig.”

    +++

    snores of recruits
    the barracks watch’s shadow
    on cold linoleum

    the locker’s scent
    on a lit jacket sleeve
    8 bells at midnight

    leftover turkey
    for the last dogwatch
    a jeweled railing

    1. wow, thanks pam, i know i am followed on FB , but i never knew i had a club member! LOL

      keep up doing what you do, and making everyone feel special here!

    1. sean, if i may….we are doing three lines, now. (we alternate)

      may i suggest making an additional line or redistributing what you have…..

      at the crescent moon’s tip
      a far away
      life

      Sean Felix

      or: (this one gives you a crescent shape)

      a far away
      life
      at the crescent moon’s tip

      Sean Felix

      or: (this one gives you a different crescent shape)

      a far away life
      at the
      crescent moon’s tip

      Sean Felix

    2. at the crescent moon’s tip
      a far away life

      Sean Felix

      i like the fairy tale feel of this, it is wonderful sean.

  33. a whirligig of leaves
    sweeps the deck clean

    Wendy C. Bialek

    *
    tipping his hand
    in a game of poker
    by moonlight
    *
    the moon tips his hand
    in a game
    of equinox poker

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