The Renku Sessions: Timber Smoke – Week 2
Greetings and welcome to The Haiku Foundation’s current Renku Session entitled, ‘Timber Smoke’. I am Marshall Hryciuk of Toronto, Canada and will be leading this session through a 36-link kasen renku.
So we have the first link in our renku:
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
The best way to appreciate the link is to read this verse with the first verse together as a complete poem.
This link continues the mood of the first verse, in that things are slightly off-kilter. Forest-fire season is usually summer, plums are usually plucked from a tree. Further, the plum blossom appears, in the Japanese tradition at least, earlier than cherry blossoms but here they are not the blossoms but the trees’ fruit; harvested but not in autumn. So a slight un-ease, but not eerie and a smooth relay of muted motion and emotion.
Where the hokku was primarily a scent verse, here we have the sensual softness of the plum being carefully salvaged in a way that emphasizes its tactile quality as a connecting verse. Which brings me to three things: first, don’t enounce the season; ‘winter’, ‘summer’, ‘autumn’, even ‘spring’ and ‘fall’ i find to be meaningless verbiage in a renku where we are trying to show as subtlely as possible and tell as little as possible.
Secondly, we don’t want any narration to enter our relays of energy and subsume that energy into a logical sequence. Thus anything with fires or dawn were not acceptable for the first link and heavenly bodies will be out-of-bounds for this one since the moon verse will be in verse 5.
For verse 3 then, cooking and insects will also be out since they would relate directly, ‘narratively’ to the plums.
Thirdly, forget about the hokku. You may have just thought of a fabulous link back to it -but i won’t take it -i want you to link only to the very previous verse and leave the overall quality and direction of our renku to me.
So for verse 3 we need 3 lines, no particular season.
Other leaders may say, ‘no season’ but i want to encourage people to look for events that may happen in any season and are not ‘season-heavy’ or indicators; as for instance birds that don’t migrate.
I’ve been asked by Dick Prittit (sp?) to not only name my choice of link but also 3 runners-up, but i think this is unnecessary given that i will explain my choices with each added link but also because i don’t have a rigid criterion for what i accept as a link (nor do i have a template for the sequence of seasons). I respond intuitively and then examine in reflection why a particular link worked so well for me.
So worry not, i’ll have plenty to say and if you’re joining in, just concentrate on the most subtle and poetic link to the previous verse only.
Lastly, the first 6 verses are meant to lay a reserved and stable foundation for the rest of the renku, which allows for its greater improvisations later on. Thus, no violent activity or boisterous or foreign language can occur in these first 6, which also must be by 6 different writers.
So, 3 lines, no particular season and steer clear of fires, cooking or dwellings –
Happy linking -Marshall
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mending fences
beyond the orchard
grass for grazing
the close-hauled
curve of sails
at the starting klaxon
humming wires
along rutted trails
to a new frontier
– Betty Shropshire
a huge catfish
sends up a chain
of tiny bubbles
a gull picks its way
along the foam-flecked
strands of seaweed
the strains of
everybody must get stoned
drift down the alley
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
in a flock they arrive
seagulls to squabble
over every last chip
third
after
shock
ancient stone wall
tumbles
for the first time
satellite
careens
out of orbit
led numerals
stare up
from the carpet
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground – Alfred Booth.
.
news reporters
arriving at the scene
by parachute
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground – Alfred Booth.
.
the squelch
of the gamekeeper’s
new gumboots
.
grandpa smirks
as they score
the game-winning run
pluvial pool–
birds enjoy the taste
of blue sky
hazy day–
amid the chaos
pleasant chirp
wind-blown leaves–
grandson adding friends
on facebook
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
.
a river stone
rolls down to the sea
for a thousand years
.
two goldfish in a bowl
slowly orbit the confines
of their glass world
.
So excited to stumble again into another Renku party. It’s been a while.
in the bay
kayakers rest their paddles
and listen
the soft rumble
of an oncoming train
before the whistle
Congrats Alfred – a nice verse to follow Marshall’s hokku.
nothing dimmed yet
timber smoke scent
sifts into the house
Marshall Hrycuik
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
.
.
writing
a fairy tale
just for the heck of it
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
*
jumping over
yoga ropes as a
hurriquake came
shoulder to shoulder
the draft horses
high stepping
– Betty Shropshire
probably too boisterous so revising:
shoulder to shoulder
the draft horses’
flanks quiver
ever so gently
a silverback gorilla
thumps his chest
– Betty Shropshire
dog face
in a cloud
running on the grass
+ + + + + + + + + + + + +
on my terrace
a full bowl
of white stones
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
hoping the ends
may justify
the means
slipping
and sliding
in a purple haze
the jury
remains out
on a trespassing
the Professor
suggests that we avoid
purple patches
—
beads of river
from the blade
of a feathered oar
the smoothness
of sea-washed pebbles
below the crag
the dog’s paw quivers
as if overtaken
by a dream
– Betty Shropshire
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
*
who knew
it was a thing
hurriquake
Hurriquake: I just love that one, Linda! Haikai humour too.
nothing dimmed yet
timber smoke scent
sifts into the house
*
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
*
checking out
from the library
a ukulele
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
–A!fred Booth
a troupe
of tuxedo cats tumble
over the grass
.
in the cemetery
mourners walk
to the gravesite
.
in the cemetery
a family walks
to the gravesite
she takes
some books about gardening
back to the library
Editing change:
she takes
some gardening books
back to the library
helping the clown
gather dropped
juggling balls
mimes climbing
invisible
ladders
banjo busker
counting coins
in his hat
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
*
every fence
on the ranch
back in true
on the foreshore
a mudlark searches
for treasure
—-
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
—Alfred Booth
—-
the librarian
files haiku
under misc
a life coach
forced to seek work
in construction
the broker’s advice
to buy shares
in the slump
wrinkled balloons
the morning after
poll victory
a zen garden
on the van’s rear doors
figured in dust
the rise and fall
of a jellyfish fluther
at the equator
Whoops!
all thumbs up
for our umeshu
on the rocks
Whoops again, considering ” no. . . foreign language can occur in these first 6 ”
umeshu is a word from a foreign language.
nothing dimmed yet
timber smoke scent
sifts into the house (hokku)
.
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground – Alfred Booth.
————
newbies
playing ping-pong
in the off-leash park
.
the roar
of a jet plane
crossing the sky
.
all thumbs up
for our umeshu
on the rocks
team tryouts
for baseball and hockey
both at the same time
entwined
with seaweed
mermaid’s purses
slowly
rising
to my feet
Madeleine, I love them both!
Thank-you Pamela. You made my day:) I love your poem, too!
reclining
in the tall grass
before turning in
dreams
of collecting seashells
with mermaids
drying
off coins
from a wishing well
watching my
castle disappear
in the.tide
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
– Alfred Booth
memories
of wilted roses
on her desk
windy day
a wilted scarecrow
waving goodbye
train station
slow motion
waves of farewell
a pair of doves
comes free
with this purchase
red frisbee
and a broken muzzle
caught in mid-air
too many balks
from the farmer’s
free-range roosters
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
ping-ponging hail
lands in
the bird’s bath
nothing dimmed yet
timber smoke scent
sifts into the house
*
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
*
a silver pendant
found amid the bric a brac
of the market stall
Congratulations Alfred…an inspiring and lovely verse!
children
next door strolling home
from the library
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth —
juggling
two in the air
one in hand
Take 2 of juggling theme:
trying to juggle
two up in the air
one in hand
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
early morning
and mirrored reflection of trees
in lake water
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
the diamond
disperses light
into a rainbow
nothing dimmed yet
timber smoke scent
sifts into the house
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
that moment
when the airplane
leaves the tarmac
two thumbs up Linda
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
.
after bathing
all three crows adjust
their black coats
.
the abandoned quarry is quiet
except for the random pings
of dripping water
.
rainwater collects
in every blasting hole
at the granite quarry
carting life’s essentials
to the landfill
the cathedral of castaways
landfills
monuments of discarded desires
and faded passions
wildflowers
blooming
in the debris
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
*
memorizing
the native names
of native grasses
*
in sunlight
a rooster shows
his true colors
the shining
cuckoo calls out
to her mate
a fantail flits
from peaches
to apples
nothing dimmed yet
timber smoke scent
sifts into the house
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
a kaleidoscope of colors…
kittens playing and chasing each other
in the field grass
Correction:
a kaleidoscope of colors
as kittens play and chase each other
in the field grass
Thank you!
Actually, I offer both 🙂
a kaleidoscope of colors…
kittens playing and chasing each other
in the field grass
a kaleidoscope of colors
as kittens play and chase each other
in the field grass
Thank you again,
Diana
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
those horses
galloping along
a stony beach
her favourite pearl
held in the suns’
halo
on the dark street
an urge to hide
her diamond charm
beyond the diver’s mask
a moray eel’s
gaping mouth
– Betty Shropshire
Lovely shift. Betty
Thank you, Robert!
a seagull bobbing
on every red buoy
leaving port
a bald eagle
shifts
its gaze
– Betty Shropshire
party goers
pass around
the wassail jug
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
*
cries of “good boy”
from all corners
of the dog park
Nice one, Laurie
nothing dimmed yet
timber smoke scent
sifts into the house
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
contrails cut the blue
early morning
mind full of jobs to do
Excellent start and thank you for your clear explanations! I too, love it!
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
***
saving money
for a watch
without hands
Grandma’s box
her traveling blog
in postcards
stepping
on his foot again
dance classe
an old cast
signed
on eBay
highlighting
a town named Destin
on our map
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
*
a friendly wager
that ends
in a draw
*
the win-win of a bet
when it’s too close
to call
*
the cobbler
mends
another shoe
the driver speeds by
so many
middle fingers
Grandma logs on
to the thing
she still calls Twitter
Frida Kahlo
a free lesson
In how to tango
open window
a free lesson
In how to tango
Uggh Marshall you did say stay clear of dwellings and I guess that includes windows too !!
according to Google
Sixteen thousand animals
boarded the ark
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
cobalt skies
commanding the breeze
to freshly pegged sheets
First of all , thank you to all (so far) who have expressed congratulations on my first link.
Although Marshall has explained why my new offering can’t be selected, here is where I would go from here.
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
gazing beyond
the ache in my feet
Qi Gong
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
a basket
overfilling
with fruit flies
a nip now and then
from the flask in
my pocket
without regard
to race religion
or sex
in
the last verse should have read:
without regard
to race religion
or sex
a dream
dancing in a tutu
to the celesta
a file of cars
overtake a tractor
on the mountain road
the river
becoming darker
in the city
tiny figures
in the baskets of balloons
against the blue
a young man’s
yodel-a-ee-doo
halfway up a hill
in the name
of justice
strange fruit
.
all afternoon
the local yokels
spitting pits
nothing dimmed yet
timber smoke scent
sifts into the house (hokku)
.
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground – Alfred Booth
.
new earphones
after deep purple
and all that jazz
edit –
an empty beer can
rolls down the aisle
on the tour bus
Sorry Marshall,
I’ll have to withdraw mine:
sleepless night
the rustle of clouds
when they race
As it triggered a haibun I’d like to work on.
Now I really want to read the haibun as your verse was my favorite thus far.
empty beer cans
roll down the aisle
of the tour bus
Here is my offer:
skipping stones
laughter of children
on the shallow river
along the rafters
fledgling barn owls
teeter on the edge
the beat-beat-beat
of a rusting barge
heading upriver
such a nice note
our guest left
on the fridge door
whether or not
to let Dad win
shooting pool
a quiet burble
of city pigeons
around the fountain
holy moly
our soccer team
hits a purple patch
over the fence
the party goers
a bit tipsy
sipping
sour plum wine
before bed
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
(Alfred Booth) —
above cloud cover
in the thin air
sound tracks
watching
the second hand
slowly moving
Congratulations, Alfred.
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
beneath spotlights
the mannequin shimmers
in a two tone suit
the homeless man
no longer where
I left him
As this is my first renku, I am so grateful for your careful instructions and reasoning as a guide through the process. I am already learning so much.
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
echoing
through the wind
a peacock alarm
Eavonka Ettinger
Congrats Alfred and thank you Marshall
confession booth
whispering my sins
under the waterfall
twilight
listening to the silence
between hoots
ales and lagers
liquid poetry
for the soul
Congratulations to Alfred for starting us off so well.
*
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
the anhinga’s dive
takes him out of sight
in the pond out back
Congratulations, Alfred! A lovely verse!
Thanks for guiding us, Marshall!
My offer:
trying
each gown
on the mannequin
kittens mew
This, That, and
the Other
Congratulations Alfred! And thank you , Marshall, for guiding us!
sparrows
peek inside
the rain gauge
*****
the flash of blue
just our mailman
moving fast
*****
sparrows dot
every other
fence post
each sheep
in turn
has its fleece removed
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
*
making good time
with an old fashioned
atlas
*
Congrats Alfred!
*
the über driver
speaks to his fares
in sign language
– Betty Shropshire
Guessing über may qualify as foreign language so revising to:
the driver speaks
to his fares
in sign language
*
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
*
a believer
despite the lack
of reasons for faith
*
the selective memory
of the daily
diary
*
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
a passer-by
perhaps was going to speak
but turns away
a wicker basket
is left our on a bin
without a note
They all need washing.
So do your hands and face –
and your shoes.
a doctor of philosophy
gets work in a bar
without tenure
Thanks for the guidelines, Marshall. A quick question: do you want this and succeeding verses to avoid grammatical breaks, and to have a juxtaposition only with the immediately preceding verse, not within the verse itself?
hi Keith, juxtapositions are okay at any time as long as they don’t interrupt the energy flow or act as a kireji. Verses with total breaks within them (or kireji), i like to save for the 5 ‘designer’ verses: 3 moon and 2 blossom; but sometimes i take a ‘flow’ verse or ‘groundstroke’ verse (=no break within) for the moon and that frees up a haiku-like surprise among the groundstrokes.
But i’d caution against trying to understand why i accepted a verse’s style. I look for various kinds or styles of verses at various times and am dismayed when suggestions come in that try tomimic a previous verse’s tone or style. Just respond and write it. The looser we get the better in the long run the whole renku will be.
Thanks, Marshall. Clear enough.
Marshall—Thanks for you hard work with this. I am enjoying reading our renku already. Here are two verses to consider for verse 3:
globes of dew
shivering
on the clubmoss
between specks of loam
ten thousand lives
too small to see
Thanks, Marshall–I did not see all the subtleties of this verse. Congratulations to Alfred for starting us off so well.
*
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
*
raking the stones
this way
then that
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
summer heat
I bet the pigeon’s
worse off
Barbara Anna Gaiardoni
ill-fitting dentures
hydroplane the saliva
of his gums
reposting….(sorry, somehow i pasted more than i thought i copied!)
congrats Alfred on such a special ‘off ‘ verse….!
I can see now how this is the most perfect wakiku verse for Marshall’s hokku.
Thank you
Marshall for your clear evaluation for deciding on this fitting choice.
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
wearing gloves
we count the puzzle pieces
before donation
congrats Alfred on such a special ‘off ‘ verse….!
I can see now how this is the most perfect wakiku verse for Marshall’s hokku.
Thank you
Marshall for your clear evaluation for deciding on this fitting choice.
The Renku Sessions: Timber Smoke – Week 1
August 17, 2023
John StevensonRenku Sessions
renku_300
Greetings and welcome to The Haiku Foundation’s current Renku Session entitled, ‘Timber Smoke’. I am Marshall Hryciuk of Toronto, Canada and will be leading this session through a 36-link kasen renku.
So we have the first link in our renku:
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
wearing gloves
we count the puzzle pieces
before donation
Congratulations, Alfred, thinking outside the box with your lovely verse. Something to keep in mind.
Hello Marshall. Please would it be possible to have the verses placed together each week, to make for an easier reminder when composing the next verse.
Kind Regards
Carol
Carol -i hesitate to do this for 2 reasons: first, i only want you to link with the immediately preceding verse and secondly, if you’re really into this as a whole poem by the group and not a personal test i think you would write out your own copy of the whole renku as it progresses so you would know what i not to repeat, above and beyond my reminders. When i lead in person, i do not use an easel or a blackboard; people, i think, spend too much time gazing at and analysing what’s gone on, hoping, i’m guessing to predict what’s next. I want contributors to concentrate on just their immediate impressions of response to just the last verse and not concern themselves with the ‘whole renku’ -that’s only up to me
Thank you for your explanation, Marshall.
You have a very open leadership, this session is going to be interesting.
one by one
I pick plums off of the ground
Alfred Booth
sleepless night
the rustle of clouds
when they race
Sébastien Revon