The Renku Sessions: Call For Hokku
Hello, Renku Writers—I am so happy to be going on this renku journey with you. We are going to write a nijuin renku which, as many of you know, is a twenty-verse poem.
I’ve given some thought to where in the year’s cycle we should start this renku. It’s interesting that we are starting in mid-May which is on the cusp of spring/summer in the northern hemisphere and fall/winter in the southern hemisphere. So we could start this renku in any season and somewhere on our lovely planet it would be the “right” season. If we start the nijuin in autumn or spring, the hokku (first verse) would be a moon verse. And so to start us off, your assignment is to write a three-line verse with “moon” or “harvest moon,” as the subject if you live in the southern hemisphere and “spring moon” or “hazy moon” if you live in the northern hemisphere. There are other expressions such as “moonlight” or “hazy moonlight” or “moon bow,” etc. which would be acceptable, as well. Thus, the verse that is chosen for the hokku will determine whether we will be writing a spring or an autumn nijuin renku.
Please submit your verses by Tuesday midnight US Central Daylight Time; I look forward to reading them.
Patricia Machmiller
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Comments (153)
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Hi Patricia, I made it just under the wire! Thank you for being our renku guide. Like Stephanie this in my first online renku…looking forward to it. Mimi
hazy moon
the last one arrives
two hours late
spring moonshine
he’s opening
a second bottle
hazy moon
the angel statue
with closed eyes
welcome, Mimi–so glad to “see” you here!
This is my first HNA online Renku :) I’m excited for the many views on this 20-week excursion. And thank you, Patricia, for being our guide.
her dance card
on a tray
hazy moon
*
title page
the hazy moon
a cradle song
*
finally baffled
by the foghorn
hazy moon
Great to see you here, Stephanie!
moon peers
open-mouthed
into the misty cave
lilacs
under the flower moon
imaging peace
full flower moon
just over the horizon
many points of view
chorus frogs
under the flower moon
praising peace
chorus frogs
under the flower moon
praying
chorus frogs and we
by the flower moon
composing
misty moon
toasted with green tea served
in plastic cups
moonbow
the waterfall’s distant
thrumming beckons
bright moon
forgotten nectar feeders
light up like lanterns
steamy times
in the old pond
spring moon
sonoran moon
auroras silk dance
to a juggling saguaro
jump, frog!
why not
into the moon
.
.
jump, frog!
why not
into the moon
– Keith Evetts
.
Love this Keith – classic hokku!
.
.
step into the ring
hazy moon!
spring peepers
.
.
Thank you, Princess! Appreciated. Issa x Basho… ;-)
:-) no, not a classic hokku, princess, but a very interesting verse and definitely, as a haiku, a winner.
Thanks for your comment Lorin. For my education and for purposes of discussion, would you please explain?
Ah, princess, I really shouldn’t have jumped in and made that comment, but since I did and since I see your query this morning (morning where I am, in cold Melbourne, anyway) I should clarify.
From what I learnt (from John Carley and John Stevenson) a hokku is the first verse of a renku. A haiku might often look exactly the same as a hokku. The difference is that a haiku stands alone but the hokku ( meaning “head verse”)in renku is followed by a 2-line verse (the daisan) which must link to the hokku.
—
But Wikipedia says it all far better than I could:
“Hokku (発句, lit. “starting verse”) is the opening stanza of a Japanese orthodox collaborative linked poem, renga, or of its later derivative, renku (haikai no renga).[1] From the time of Matsuo Bashō (1644–1694), the hokku began to appear as an independent poem, and was also incorporated in haibun (in combination with prose). In the late 19th century, Masaoka Shiki (1867–1902) renamed the standalone hokku as “haiku”,[2] and the latter term is now generally applied retrospectively to all hokku appearing independently of renku or renga, irrespective of when they were written.[3] The term hokku continues to be used in its original sense, as the opening verse of a linked poem. ” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hokku
—
Here’s a hokku from the renku “Summer Moon” (sabaki Basho) followed by the daison:
in town
the smells of things –
summer moon (Boncho)
it’s hot it’s hot
at each portal the sigh (Basho)
(from ‘Monkey’s Raincoat’ by Matsuo Basho, translated by Maeda Cana )
—
…and while I find Keith’s verse excellent and humorous, it doesn’t feel like a hokku (first verse of a renku) to me:
jump, frog!
why not
into the moon – Keith Evetts
Probably that’s because a saijiki will have ‘moon’ as an autumn kigo and ‘frog’ as a spring kigo (if we go by “The 500 Essential Season Words’ , the only online kiyose I know of:
http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html#SPRING–ANIMALS
—
( I’ve done the jumping frog thing, too :-)
misunderstood
a frog jumps into whoops
the bouillabaisse
It’s a internal verse (not a hokku, not a haiku) in the renku ‘Early Morning Heat’- sabaki: the late John Carley. We had a lot of fun
doing that renku, which be found here:
https://www.hsa-haiku.org/renkuawards/2013-renku.htm
Lorin, Issa might disagree with you!
https://haikupresence.org/essays/jump-flea-renku-as-game-ritual-and-art/
Thanks for the explanation Lorin. I appreciate your experience and the insightful commentary that you often provide.
Thanks for the link Keith – will read when I have time to digest.
a full moon rises
into a haze
of hot spring steam
full moon rising
into a haze
of hot spring steam
the moon joins
a juggler’s side show
spring festival
and
Spring Festival
the moon joins
a juggler’s side show
Harvest Festival
the moon joins
a juggler’s side show
and
the moon joins
a juggler’s side show
harvest festival
(I’m unexpectedly late, but not too late to post a verse, I see. )
aurora australis–
tonight’s moon sure has some
competition!
or
Southern Lights
tonight’s moon sure has some
competition!
—
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-05-12/aurora-australis-southern-lights-sunday-night/103836548
Lorin….Bravo…WOWs! Well-worth the weight!
That must have been some majestic birthday
bringing all your life’s wisdom to your fabulous moon
hokku….i am already writing wakiku in response!
LOL! (Nancy….a spellchecker could never make this mistake)…just winging my way without my first coffee sip!)
well worth the wait
Yes, Wendy, you are right. Otto is sometimes mean, though. At least I have found it to be so. ;)
in the morning
moths…
lured by an artificial moon
beneath the flower moon
a clematis climbs
to the stars
Or
a clematis entwines
herself around
the flower moon
in the ash
an ivy climbs…
towards a hazy moon
Yes, like everyone else here I am looking forward to this adventure with you. I see a few familiar names and some great poetry too.
Good afternoon, Melissa–Thanks for joining the party!
Good Morning Patricia!
I am happy to join and participate! This will be a wonderful journey. :)
You mentioned moon bow, and I remember I wrote this hokku in 2014. 10 years later… it is still a fond memory.
the moonbow
of a waterfall –
falling
Diana–so glad you had a moonbow experience–which you never forgot. We’re so lucky to be haiku and renku writers–it helps us remember.
Hello, Patricia! So excited to begin my 2nd renku and all the wonderful learning that comes along these next 20 weeks.
scarecrow
newly stuffed
harvest moon
Hello, Eavonka–welcome to your second renku–another –I hope–happy experience.
blank moon…
working out the letters
in the crossword
*
Last week, I neglected to say “hello,” Patricia. Please accept my apologies.
In honor of Pentecost Monday, here’s a feeble offering:
Pentecost
the same moon
world over
Or the following:
Pentecost
all of the words
for the moon
Thank you, Richard–so glad you’re here–reminding us of the Pentecost.
the spring moon
reflected in cupped
strawberry leaves
Or…
reflected spring moon
ripples in cupped
strawberry leaves
near morning…
flatbed loaded
with moonset
*
near evening…
flatbed loaded
with moonrise
*
wildfires…
day gets hazy
around the moon
*
hazy moon…
the day’s hopscotch dust
hangs in the air
*
tracing moon shadows
with empty fingers
on virgin paper
moon shadows
on a blank slate
an elephant!
Thanks for taking this on, Patricia.
Hazy moon
the river’s ripples
softly gleam
Thanks, Andrew, for participating :)
moonlit glass
heavenly blue seeds
soak on the sill
dancing
to the rhythm of thunder
in the moon’s strobe light
moonlight
in my own skin
cockles of the heart
mist-shrouded treeline
caught dancing
mountaintop moon
escaped prisoners
dancing in
moonlight
brushing
the moonbeams
from her hair
moonbow
above the falls
green fiddleheads
Gracias Patricia and it’s great to see everyone’s contributions again!
tonight’s omens
dim stars
a stray moon
stray moon
following
me home
confessing
my sins
to a full moon
wandering
further away
unfaithful moon
porchlight
for fallen angels
full moon
So happy to see you and your work, Dan . . .
moonlight
on the trail
–silver ferns
moonlight
on the footpath
–silver ferns
moonbeams…
the busy spinnerets
of an orb weaver
*
silk moon
an orb weaver smooths
the paths through the stars
*
scallop shell…
moonlight in hand
to start the journey
*
pilgrimage moon…
lines of the scallop
impressed in his hand
silver
in our hair
hazy moon
flower moon
a line of conscripts
at the whorehouse
hazy moon
forgive our boot prints
on your face
Thank you, Patricia, for taking this on.
Look forward to another fun renku ride with all friends here.
A few of my offers:
dusk walk…
through a single bubble
hazy moonlight
***
flower moon
watering a small world
of the family’s own
***
spring milk moon
the ambrosia
a little at a time
Amoolya–so glad you are here!
Hello, Everyone–I am so happy to see all the wonderful renku writers. Many of you I know from previous renku engagements. Those who are new to me–welcome. I am very excited to get to create this poem with all of you. I have a wedding to go to so will be back reading your inputs in a day or two.
waxing crescent
savoring the first flush
of silver needle tea
only skeletons of salmon
caught
in the moon’s teeth
the moon’s
a muse –
listen to the howls
a mermaid
swimming in
moonlight
enjoying their
sweet fragrance –
flowers that bloom in moonlight
lunar tides
tugging at
my heartstrings
a prodigal son
searching for home
in the moonlight
tequila haze
a jigger of moonlight
in each rose
that hopeful face
when you are half here
hazy moon
bringing to light
our unique quirks
hazy May moon
soft words
with a psychotic stranger
hazy moon
Looking forward to kicking off a new renku!
Here’s my offer:
mewing kittens
mother calico
nurses the hazy moon
.
.
the original influencer
with a flair for gray –
this hazy moon!
.
238,900 miles
of pedestrian –
this hazy moon!
.
the rise
of the minimalist wardrobe –
this hazy moon!
.
a different face
every night –
this hazy moon!
.
so chic!
the timeless silhouette
of a hazy moon
.
.
moonlit window
tic tac toe moves
on the tawny duvet
nightly contemplations
moonlit waves
curl to shore
harvest moon
one last bath
before bedtime
taking a shine
to the blackbird
young moon
hollow moon
a crack in the shell
of the first grebe chick
spring moon
a raft of sea otters
afloat on its back
evening showers
the moon caught
in satin pyjamas
primate proud moon
the primal screech
of orangutan
spring moon
setting the table for
each movable feast
looking up
only the moonlight
to guide my way
shrinking spring moon
houseful of ozempic shooting stars
dinner guests
reduction:
shrinking spring moon
houseful of ozempic-
shooting stars
harvest moon
rolling up the flannel sleeves
of a hard working scarecrow
desert dusk moon
heaven sent front row tickets
to aurora display
power outage –
hazy moon in the polished
stone walkway
hazy moon –
dialogue of two robins
in the darkness
pricked by cactus thorns
spring moon bleeds out
purple red tie-dyed sky
Thanks Patricia, and hello to all!
milk moon
the first round
of chemo
I turn off
your bedside light
flower moon
mother’s moon
another episode
of the supernatural
a scent of rain
the hazy moon
goes into shadow
dusk
a haze of bats
across a desert moon
moon shadows
a tadpole flits
from the frogspawn
*
first quarter moon
the journal started anew
each season
*
full moon
the color
of the clouds
*******
caught
in the branches
autumn moon
milk moon
baby’s first tooth
shines white
even hidden
in the clouds
moonrise
her voice, delicate
as a sage blossom
cold moon
half moon
the earth
breaking open
hazy moon
a gentle breeze
lifts the curtain
crescent moon
humming a lullaby
from his grandfather’s primer
*
hazy moon
the seer pauses
over a card
*
spring moon
a little hazy tonight
my father’s memory
flower moon
she picks out some pinks
for the bridesmaid dresses
the night busker
sings songs from the sixties…
flower moon
white clover moon
the tapping
of his cane
*
half moon
the dark side
of our family tree
*
soft moonlight
the hiss of a feral
a little less fierce
*
young and hopeful
a moon high and clear
as the seasons change
May is out !
early though in the month
the moon’s a shaving !
no moon
brightens the fallen leaves
as days shorten
spring night
one moon
so many poets
and so
we begin again
spring moon
the upturned faces
of meadow buttercups
flower moon
old friends and new
the budding silver birch
the champagne moon
geese arrive
a wisp of moon
along the river
above the bars
in all the world
this misted moon
hazy moon
tapping the keg on
a new IPA
strawberry moon
rows and rows of
the underprivileged
twilight double header
the moon slowly makes
her way home
end of life dream
you reach out for my hand
through a moon bow
misted moon
the light fades slowly
from dad’s eyes
spring moonrise
channel buoys leaning
towards the ocean
Thanks for taking this on, Patricia. And welcome, renku friends. Much looking forward to it.
…..
midnight moon
a world
half awake
Thank you, Keith–nice to see you here!
in the waters of spring
more sleepy day moons
than i can count
*
spring moon
never called
first witness
*
waking up
to humpty-dumpty
sleepy spring daymoon
Hi Patricia,
I have submitted my but I can’t find it anywhere.
Did you receive it?
event’s mood
set of hair clips
with moon bow
Thank you so much,
Barbara Anna Gaiardoni
Hi, Barbara–Thank you for submitting and yes, I received your hokku :)
Welcome all renku addicts (old and new) and welcome back to an extraordinary start to a new nijuin run by our experienced and modern sabaki, Patricia.
Happy Birthday wishes for Lorin, and being grateful for the schema link provided by our princess k!
So pleased that renku sessions returns so quickly into the calendars!
Hi Wendy, Thank you for the welcome and looking forward to your insights and sense of humor….agree with all your comments. Hope Lorin recovers from her birthday party. Clysta
Hi Clysta
Happy to hear from you again and read your contributions, too!
enjoying the May merriment and your compassionate, spam!
Hi, Clysta–So good to see you here–looking forward this session. So many voices I recognize-and some new ones too. Should be fun.
Hi, Wendy–great to see you here. And thanks for the welcome. Much appreciated.
night breeze
tree buds caress
a gauze moon
caribbean moonrise
roving sharkfins
pizza cutters
purple
under the hazy moon
tulip and tutu
Welcome Patricia and thank you for leading this renku – looking forward to learning from yet another sabaki’s perspective on renku.
For anyone who is interested, here is a link to a published schema for the nijuin renku: https://www.hsa-haiku.org/pdf/nijuin.pdf. As always, looking forward to reading everyone’s contributions.
Hi, princess k–So good to see you again. I’m looking forward to seeing your verses!
moon haze
our lips exchange a cloud
from the reefer
Great that you’re not one of those who continue to believe in the Flat Earth theory, Patricia. :-)
I look forward to participating in this renku. And today is my birthday ( 17th May, AEST – Australian Eastern Standard Time) :-)
So I’ll probably try to post something tomorrow.
the world tree falls
13.8 billion candles persist
in an elephant’s ear
Happy birthday Lorin!
It’s great to “see” you again, princess. :-) …and thanks!
Many Happy Returns, Lorin!
Thanks, Keith. :-) I’m late to answer because I had a little accident. Happy to be here! \
(ps it must be round about your birthday by now, I reckon. Happy Birthday Keith! :-) And may we gave many to come.
Happy birthday, Lorin!
Thanks, Amoolya. I’m looking forward to reading yours (& everyone’s) verses.
Happy Birthday, Lorin :)
Nice to see that you will be posting during this session.
Thanks, Carol. :-) Good to “see” you again, too. It’ll be spring lamb time for you over there in Wales, won’t it? Freezing cold autumn here.
Lambing is all done and dusted for many of us, its been a very wet few months, but at last the sun has made an appearance.
Keep those little tootsies of yours cosy, Lorin.
Belated Happy Birthday, Lorin! ?
Betty
Thanks, Betty. Good to “see” you again. :-)
Happy birthday, Lorin–so glad to see you here. I look forward to seeing you verse from the other hemisphere . . . :)
Many thanks, Patricia. I’m really happy to be here at all! Thank you for sabaki-ing another renku. I’ve missed them. :-)
thank you very much for being our sabaki Patricia
and for allowing us to create our own hokku
Glad to hear from you, Rob–and I look forward to reading your verses.
tea house
the spring moon swings from
pillar to pillar
rose compass
following the lodestar
of a hazy moon
*
hazy moon
no plans yet for the linen
spun from fresh flax
*
the moon reflects
on Gaia’s offspring
May merriment
your filter too
is filled with spam
hazy moon
waxing gibbous
the pregnant cat
slouches home
half moon
the sharing of
a secret
an eye
that’s opening
half moon
half moon
the emptiness seen
and unseen
half moon
the mind wandering
before sleep
short life
yet long enough
half moon
Greetings, Patricia–thank you so much for taking this on! Very much looking forward to these next twenty weeks!
*
hazy moon
a warming wind kneads spring clay
into shape
*
hazy moon
a spill of batting
from the memory quilt
*
Revising to:
hazy moon
a warming wind
kneads the spring clay
Hi, Laurie–so great to “see” a familiar voice. I’m looking forward to this dialogue (?)–what’s the word if it involves more than two people? Anyway–it’s exciting to see so many people new and familiar . . .
Hello and welcome. Patricia. Many thanks for taking us on another poetic journey.
string of pearls
the moon lights
each dewdrop
Carol–so happy to be engaged in this way!
clouds drifting
through tree limbs
–harvest moon
first buds
on our tulips
spring moon
hazy moonlight –
disappearing
glaucoma
Hi Patricia, I am happy to join you and all who participate! Thank you for taking this on.
peddling
over the sprinkler’s moonbow
hands free
Hi, Pamela–very nice to be here with you. I’m looking forward to reading your verses.