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The Renku Sessions: Tawny Jacket – Week 9

 

renku_300

 

I am John Stevenson and I will be your guide for a twelve-verse renku, in which we will compose one verse per week until completion. A longer session, with a different leader, is being planned to follow this one.

This past week we were blessed with two-hundred-thirteen offers, from forty poets, several of whom have joined us for the first time. Thank you, all!

Before highlighting a selection of verses, I would like to make an observation. My preference is that a love verse will be immediately recognizable as such, a summer verse will be immediately recognized as summer, and that even non-seasonal and non-topic specific verses will generally be clear to a reader without looking up any of their constituent words or images. In renku, we look for variety in all things. So, a couple of verses that may require readers to do a web search are not a problem but too much of that, like too much of anything, can be problematic.

Here is a very small sample of the many verses that I especially appreciated:

the moon and I
have our dark sides

Dan Campbell

 

the moon almost liquid
in the evening heat

Polona Oblak

 

welcome coolness
on the moonlit verandah

Lorin Ford

 

belly flops
into a moonlit pool

Maureen Virchau

 

barley fields rippling
in the moonlight

Andrew Shimield

 

a swim in the lake
following the moon

Marina Bellini

 

floating in the pool
under the moon’s power

Agnes Eva Savich

 

teens yell “Geronimo!”
from a moonlit pier

Maureen Virchau

 

sweat-stained oars dip
into moonlit doldrums

Betty Shropshire

 

 

Our eighth verse is:

summer day moon
almost there

Wendy C. Bialek

By this stage of our renku, it can become possible to eliminate almost any offer based upon some degree of relationship to a literal image, class of images, word association, or implication of an earlier verse. In a way, this is good news because it means that, with just seven previous verses, we have created a vast network of potential associations. The bad news is that it can begin to make our task more work and less play. So, I’m going to urge everyone to relax on this score. Having said that, I will share, for information purposes, some of my misgivings about the verse I’ve selected.

Saying “almost there” can be looked upon as a reply to “sets out” in the hokku, though I take its meaning in the present verse as “almost visible.” Naming the season or verse topic is legitimate but we have already done it in the hokku (“autumn”) and in verse five (“love”). Perhaps you will see other issues. As I have said, it gets harder not to as we go along. But now, let me say what I find attractive about this verse.

First of all, this a very finely drawn portrait of a moment in time. The days are longest in the summer and there is a moment when the sky is too bright for us to see the day moon. Then there is a moment just after that. Furthermore, this moment is personal, based upon the acuity of each individual’s vision. These considerations cause me to see the previous verse in a different light. The starry night toad was considered extinct for thirty years. But it was there all the time, just as the moon was in the daytime sky before we could see it. We human beings can be childish in presuming that what we can’t see does not exist. But we know that the moon and stars are as close to eternal as anything in our daily experience.

 

For our ninth verse, these will be the requirements/considerations:

  • a three-line, non-seasonal verse
  • connecting in some way to the eighth verse and in no obvious way to any of the previous verses
  • transforming our sense of the eighth verse

 

Note: In “Introduction to World-Linking Renku” Shinku Fukuda provides a long list of “topics” that might be included in a renku, even though they do not have any particular verse placements. Examples of these include the following, which we have not yet touched upon: mountain, store, liquor, job/profession, politics, economy, education, military, history, nation/place names. These are just a few hints about potential focal points for this and the next non-seasonal verse, before we conclude our renku with two spring verses (including a spring blossom).

 

Our renku, so far:

 

 

Tawny Jacket

 

autumn leaves
she sets out in
her tawny jacket

Andrew Shimield

the still-warm hollow
where the deer slept

Kristen Lindquist

cigar smoke
lingers
in the empty room

Pauline O’Carolan

seraphim song
of a glass armonica

Autumn Noelle Hall

ice-skating
with my hunka hunka
burning love

Lorin Ford

a kiss for luck
at the STD clinic

Maureen Virchau

rediscovery
of the starry night toad
after all this time

Linda Weir

summer day moon
almost there

Wendy C. Bialek

 

Please enter your verse offers in the comments box, below. I will be reviewing these offers until midnight on Tuesday, January 14 (New York time zone). On Thursday, January 16, there will be a new posting containing my selection for our eighth verse, some discussion of other appreciated offers, and instructions for composing the ninth verse.

I look forward to seeing your offers!

John

 

This Post Has 306 Comments

  1. summer day moon
    almost there
    Wendy C. Bialek
    .

    end of her tether
    juggling job, kids
    and parents
    .
    after a 13 hour shift
    the midwife curls up
    in her scrubs

      1. Why would anyone have/wear an old photo on their shoulder, Angiola?
        .
        I was mystified until it occurred to me that perhaps you don’t really mean what you wrote, Possibly instead, you might’ve intended something like “How much time has passed since this old photograph of me on my Dad’s shoulder was taken! “

        1. i think angiola….it is hard enough…to stop doing automatic breaks for haiku….and then on top of this…english being a second language.
          angiola
          your ideas are so very touching….hoping you can work out the language wrinkles….i still haven’t broken haiku habits, too! i know you will get into the swing of this soon.
          .

          for lorin…what you wrote is what she means….but that is quite wordy, and some of the words have redundancy ….i am sure you see.

          perhaps an approach like this…could reduce the wordage/and overlaps:

          my haiku about my rescued puppy/ now… full grown dog “mesa”:

          hard to believe
          she used to fit
          in this tiny harness
          .
          wendy c. bialek

          what do you think?

        2. yes Lorin !!
          Quanto tempo è passato da quando è stata scattata questa vecchia fotografia di me sulla spalla di mio padre! “

          1. What I would say (have said in a previous week) is that anytime you begin with a preposition, you are likely to
            have a break in your verse. Opening with a prepositional phrase is a deeply ingrained habit of haiku poets. It’s one of the most frequently applied strategies for making a two part / cut verse. But we don’t want cuts in any renku verse other than the hokku (first verse).

  2. From reading the comments it seems my original contribution might have too much of a music reference so I am revising it. Gotta love a game where you can change your move!
    .
    they turn up
    the car radio
    for breaking news

    1. maureen….thank you, you have brought to mind so many feelings and memories for me with your verse:

      big protests against vietnam war took place on the campus of suny at sb….that i witnessed while i was finishing attending as undergrad. many students…i later recognized in “newsday…our local, long island paper” i knew participated….some were arrested and graduated a semester late….because they put their “moral values ahead of their personal educational goals”.

      *something that i dearly miss in our current government administration.

      i do believe these protests did help to shape that future.
      .
      and now….this is happening all over the world, again, people taking a stand for what they believe in.

      in high school….i walked for civil rights, sang and played guitar anti-nuke/anti-war and pro-peace folk songs at ny world’s fair. i take the non-violent approach. the pen…
      ..mightier than the sword.

      1. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences, Wendy. I am reminded of the cycles of war & peace. Sounds like you have endless poetry within. Take care of yourself & keep on writing!

  3. Before we leave this section, please would it be possible to have a link for the beginning of,
    A Day of Snow- Marshall Hryciuk.
    I can only get the 12th verse, I’d like to read this through, but other sessions keep popping up when I try to move back or forward, irritating.
    .
    Thank you.

      1. Thanks, John the link has worked and downloaded onto my pad, must be the setting on my pc, that was blocking it.
        All’s well.

          1. I also did a search, Robert, for the whole session of entries from participants, and the gruelling demands of the sabaki, and I mean ‘gruelling’
            but what a read, worth going through each session to see how many verses were entered before a selection was made, believe me, it’s worth reading, but it will take time.
            I can see know what John meant when he said he wanted to encourage new participants and make this a fun session.
            If I had joined in at the stage above I would have given it a wide berth.

          1. Now that’s a thought, Wendy. Not clued up about the make-up world as I don’t use any, but an interesting thought. However, I do try my best to keep may hands looking good, a difficult task, with the job I do.

        1. Quite right, Pratima 🙂
          I’ve done this so many times when painting my home. Rushing to get it done, plonking the pot on a convenient surface, lifting the pot, and there it is, that circle of emulsion, thankfully it wipes away, but not before it provided an image of a ‘new moon’

          1. great story, carol…..and great use of getting that, “new moon” shape into your verse!

            so funny ….i got a crescent moon shape….when i imagined… that maybe….if it were eye shadow…the shape around the eye where it is finger-rubbed….to make that smokey-eyed look that is so fashionable today.
            .
            when i think of house paint….,for some reason i think of it being more in cans…than pots.
            .
            so i did a google search on “paint pot”s….and that is how i found out about this make-up.

    1. hi angiola…what is “misted glass”?
      .
      is this from water condensation….or

      do you mean previously glazed or frosted glass?

      1. from water condensation, Wendy, but the waste was visible because it was in the colored bags. Sorry , my english is of google !!

        1. Interesting–I didn’t have a problem with the word “man;” it’s the word “mind” I question.
          *
          XD
          *
          ~Autumn

    1. This is a really interesting verse, Steve. What struck me upon a second read-through was the way the word “mass” could invoke the religious “Mass.” How often do we see religion “accelerating” until war (Holy Wars, Jihad, etc.) is the end result? Good to have the “lost lives” front and center, to remind us of that.
      *
      Very thought-provoking–thank you.
      *
      ~Autumn

  4. for Marion~
    .
    Darth Vader
    granted a pardon
    from the president
    .
    .
    Now if only Star Wars didn’t link to the ‘starry night’ verse! haha

  5. summer day moon
    almost there

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    eye chart
    without letters
    for the toddler’s exam
    *
    24-hour
    surveillance
    at the church
    *
    24-hour
    surveillance
    all over town
    *
    aspiring poet
    with a job
    creating hyper-links
    *

  6. summer day moon
    almost there

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    mountains of plastic
    on the homeless man’s
    cart
    *

    cops on their beat
    in a shiny
    new cruiser
    *
    thwack of a newspaper
    landing
    before dawn
    *

          1. yikes, the cv is typo, call it the flying word speed syndrome while the percolator starts spewing kapi

            sorry people,

            it should read:
            at least it is only a game. That is comforting.
            the news is not so comforting especialky these past few days

  7. summer day moon
    almost there
    .
    in his teacher’s voice
    Dad explains how ice rounded
    the Mountains of Mourne

    1. My father taught geography not only as a profession but also to my siblings and me, during ‘field trips’ around our local area. On a Saturday morning he would bundle us all into the car and head up into the Mournes— a wonderful, natural classroom, but of course we had no idea we were being taught, it was simply great fun!

  8. Well done, Wendy— your verse has already had a lot of very interesting responses!
    .
    summer day moon
    almost there
    .
    as if by magic
    Northern Ireland’s government
    reopens for business

    The political shenanigans of our small part of the world might not be known to all but, news of the return to office of our Assembly members on Saturday (after three years of absence) was a real surprise !

    1. Nice one, Marion 🙂
      .
      Do you think it is to have a better chance to re-enter the EU, after we leave?
      Politics certainly have this air of a mystery tour.

      1. I doubt it, Carol, since the Unionists don’t want to leave the UK. I think it may have been a case of, “Get your asses back onto those seats at Stormont or your pay will be stopped!” 😄

    2. thank you, marion….for your “magical” observations and words!

      i was concerned that it might be difficult to link to….since it was so open…but the direction that came from the list of subjects (fukuda) that john provided has seemed to make it much easier.

    1. coming out
      tipsy
      from whiskey row
      .

      who can make it
      cross the street
      from whiskey row ?

      .
      wendy c. bialek

      .
      wendy c. bialek

    1. nice, robert….though it is in my “backyard”, have not visited it yet!

      but what i can gather here….is that “slip” has multiple meanings besides meaning “fall”…. it also refers to the clay elemental makeup of az’s soil. “slip” is watery clay used to make pottery.
      and there may be more here then i can imagine….would like to hear it from you if you care to share.

      1. Thank you Wendy. If I lived that close I would need to visit.
        I’m afraid my verse is from the movies. Tempted to use gunfire, choosing stones instead. Perhaps rubble could also be a good substitute for stones.
        I must admit I did not know you could produce clay from the slip. That said, most matter can be reformed if mixed with a compatible.

      1. That was a consideration that sprung to my mind, also, when re-reading the session.
        This is what makes Renku such a fascinating subject that broadens the mind, and makes the writer really think about back-linking especially participating in short renku and the meaning that can be associated with presented words.

    1. Hi Dan,
      .
      You have been such an enthusiastic participant that I want to give you a couple of pointers that may help you write a verse that can be incorporated in our final renku.
      .
      First – There should be no break in your verse. Unlike the opening verse (and haiku, in general), these subsequent renku verses should not have two parts.
      .
      Second – Try to avoid writing a verse that functions as a complete poem. Renku is about co-creation. Your verse should aim to make a poem with the preceding verse rather than all by itself.

        1. Hi Dan
          .
          This verse- Jan 12-12.09
          .
          my jogging route-
          sprints through cemeteries
          rest stop at bakery
          .
          could have a subtle dark humour if rearranged and maybe have that edge of ‘almost there’ regarding the cemetery
          .
          When I read it made me smile. I might have my knuckles slapped if I do editing without prior permission.

          1. Thankyou for your response, Dan, and indulging me in my thoughts 🙂
            .
            usual jog to the bakery
            then a long rest
            in the cemetery
            .
            using ‘in’ instead of ‘at’ to allow room for the reader to decide…
            .
            Happy writing, Dan.

    1. carmen….this works as a strong narrative link….paints a pretty continuation of a picture as well as showing the cyclic/rotational link to moon and somersaults and day in summer activity.

      1. Wendy and Ingrid, For a long time, I have been waiting to write a verse about this memory. I lived on a hill that sloped down to a lake. I was always scared of somersaults after that.

  9. twitter fingers
    long enough
    to be wmd

    .
    wendy c. bialek

    (*WMD=weapons of mass destruction)

    topic of POLITICS

    1. This is lovely, Betty. As you are one of the more experienced Renku posters
      could you say if this is a ‘scent link’ (nioi)
      I’ve tried my hand at an ‘object link’ (mono-zuke)
      Whether I have succeeded, I don’t know. But if anyone can tell me, please do 🙂
      .
      These are the questions I would like to ask, as this is a sure way to learn the different link and shift, methods. I’ll get it wrong a million times, no doubt, but I hope to learn from those who know better 🙂
      .
      Thank you.

      1. These are worthy questions. If a few of us were composing a renku in the same room, with a flexible time limit, they would offer a great topic for a long discussion. In this forum, I would prefer not to go there.
        .
        I’ll say one thing about it,though – which would be where I’d start if we were going to have a long talk: while this question sounds like it should have an objective, “science of renku” answer, there is a tremendous amount of subjectivity involved because the intentions of the poets and understandings of the readers are among the pertinent factors and the permutations of those factors are much too complex for simple, reductive answers.

        1. I understand what you are saying in your first paragraph, and with no reservation, we are here for a limited time, and more importantly, for the fun of it.
          .
          I may not understand everything that the more informed people, within this genre, talk or write about, but to read about it is all I have, at the moment, and having the opportunity of being here.
          I read things online such as, WHC. Renku Seminar-session 1beginning.
          I do agree with your second paragraph about the intentions of the poet and understandings of the readers, this is why I feel the need to learn about the shift and link methods. Maybe a session, in the future where the sabaki determines the link required, now that would be a learning curve.
          The mention of ‘science of renku’ will send me to do a search.
          .
          Thank you for you reply, John, I enjoyed reading it.

          1. That’s all we can do, Pratima, try, try, and try again.
            On times I just want to leave it there, but it is an addictive (for want of a better word)
            hobby.
            All the best with your writing, Pratima.

    2. what i like here, betty, is your use of “phantom”….to me, this is both visual, and emotive (mood) link to day moon.
      some thing that is felt but not always there….not always seen but still felt/ and missed….and influenced by…

      as well as showing compassion for the past/present/ painful loss and suffering that comes from war and battles…. there is no clear end in sight to the future patterns of harms-to-come. so here we have the full circle/cyclic-scientific and compassion link.

      1. Thank you Carol. I just like to play and play and play and it just improves the learning for me. .. I used to fret as a kid when it got difficult. Then as an adult, I began to learn languages and the stress before the ease became apparent,…it also made me realise that the stress is minimised through play …nothing matters as much as inner peace nd and art is another channel of communication. With peace and love

        1. You are so right when you say ‘nothing matters as much as inner peace’
          For many this is hard to find in today’s hectic world, one question I think we all should be asking ourselves at this moment in time ‘how much do we need, to live a happy and healthy life?
          In 2001, art was one of my saving graces, and I haven’t looked back 🙂
          Thank you for your post, Pratima.
          Health and Happiness.

  10. summer day moon
    almost there

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *

    a calendar
    of mountain top views
    at the gift shop
    *
    adding to
    the mounting list
    of impeachable offenses
    *
    clear and present
    the grounds
    for impeachment
    *
    joining up
    on the gym’s
    boot camp special
    *

  11. summer day moon
    almost there

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    uncredited images
    in the gallery
    of spirit photos
    *
    choosing the perfect
    blank book
    for his purposes
    *
    a new
    blank book
    for recording his dreams
    *
    lights on
    before dawn
    at the neighborhood bakery
    *
    smell of yeast
    rising from the bakery
    before dawn
    *

    1. dan, nice haiku/hokku!
      .
      the silver dollar link and math class…with moon
      is genius…
      aside from the fact that he started the space programs
      .

      i experienced this too, in school.
      a real stand out memory for me, too,
      i wrote a cherita (six-line poem) about it.

  12. as the
    boondoggle becomes
    a conundrum
    *********************
    successive
    sake bombs soften up
    the perimeter
    ****************
    morning prayers
    abruptly
    interrupted

    1. they are all amazing….the first is full of fun, playl and whimsy, the second, socks it to me….the last….eloquent, subtlety
      here is my fav:
      .
      morning prayers
      abruptly
      interrupted
      .
      michael henry lee

    1. i hear you speaking about ….(radhamani),
      how life is/can be balancing waves….very spiritual…but at the same time….also questioning if this can really happen.

  13. drinking
    hard liquor
    raises the spirits

    is there
    a spare dollar
    in the farmer’s account?

    Still suffering the trauma from the bushfire here in Cobargo. Every day I hear of another home or homes lost. Today a friend who has 5 children, most under 12 years, showed me photos of the beautiful 1890 home that’s now gone. I’m so grateful for my home and for the opportunity to compose verses as a distraction. Pauline xx

    1. Nice to see you posting. Pauline. Sad to read of your friend’s loss of her beautiful home, that can be replaced, thank heaven they are there to do so.
      .
      is there
      a dollar
      in the farmer’s account?
      .
      That’s all it could take, a dollar, from everyone around the world to help put things back together again. Less than a cuppa.

      1. I second Wendy. Sick at the loss of life and homes–but putting even the worst traumas into words really can help, somehow.

    2. Hi, Pauline. Thank you for letting us know that you are okay. I’m so sorry about all the losses. I am sure you will be a great support to your friend. Take care.

  14. summer day moon
    almost there
    Wendy C. Bialek
    .
    downed jet
    wax puddles fuse
    the living dead
    .
    downed jet
    wax puzzles fuse
    the living dead

    1. knowing
      not knowing
      a pile of leaves
      .
      a stake
      driven deep
      in a mother’s heart
      .
      planted seeds
      in an old mirror
      two faces
      .
      coming of age
      a young dog
      turns its tail

  15. summer day moon
    almost there
    .
    Wendy C. Bialek

    an indwelling
    presence grounds me
    in troubled times
    .
    two bags
    of forgotten belongings
    at the hall door
    .

      1. sheila, i like your verse … just to be clear….this is my understanding of what i hear you saying….not a suggestion for rewrite.

    1. can be understood two ways….depending on (where or if) the mind wants to break-up the lines……i like the ambiguity…here
      whether or not intentional….dan

      now here is a case, where linking can produce some interestingly split streams

    1. maureen, you are on a roll…. very keen ( now or projected, futuristic ?) image….and, if be….who pays the ticket???

      in addition to:
      .
      a polarized world
      spinning out
      of control

      .
      wendy c. bialek

    1. mary, so true…so frustrating…there…but not, there.

      like i’ve been trying to read the book, “introduction to world-linking”…
      amazon shows it but it is unavailable.
      THF has it listed….but is not downloadable.
      anybody here have any better luck with this?

          1. Thanks, Wendy.
            Another little book you ‘might’ be interested in-
            Monkey’s Raincoat-Matsuo Basho.

          2. will look into finding the monkey one, too! thanks for sharing this book as well. carol.

          3. If you read the words within the link provided, you will understand why reading the work of Matsuo Basho is an important step to understanding this genre. So please, with all due respect, don’t refer to his work to ‘the monkey one’

  16. college seniors
    sweating it out
    during finals week
    .
    Maybe this one can’t be used, either, since we already have figurative heat in previous verses.

  17. “first there is a mountain
    then there is no mountain
    then there is”

    The first thing that came to mind, though I’m guessing we can’t use it because we’ve already had a song.

  18. Well done, Wendy!

    summer day moon
    almost there
    -Wendy C. Bialek

    isn’t a slimmed down
    monarchy best
    given what’s at stake?
    – Betty Shropshire

    1. Yes, Betty taking into consideration what happened to the boy’s mother.
      .
      Looking through the archives I read a verse by, Lorin Ford? Sorry can’t find the session, it went something like this-
      .
      the salesman’s
      white smile
      of a shark
      .
      The same could be said of the paparazzi and others.
      .
      My apologies if I’m wrong on both accounts, Lorin.

  19. old globe
    not reflecting the world’s
    latest divisions
    *
    Or
    old globe
    not reflecting
    the latest divisions
    *

    1. pratima…very economically smart
      fish….those pilchards…they are aware of their size!
      maybe they can teach my chihuahua!

  20. summer day moon
    almost there
    .
    Wendy C. Bialek
    .
    the racer passing
    the ignoramus
    closes out a finger
    .
    the ignoramus
    waving a clenched five
    on race day
    .
    the ignoramus
    closes on a finger
    on race day
    .
    the ignoramus
    closIng oIta finger
    on race day

  21. rediscovery
    of the starry night toad
    after all this time
    – Linda Weir

    summer day moon
    almost there
    – Wendy C. Bialek

    gluten free breadsticks
    and vegan butter
    just in case
    – Liz Ann Winkler

  22. on the topic of ECONOMICS:

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

    while inflation looms
    he asks a quarter
    for my thoughts
    .
    wendy c. bialek

  23. Some sunflowers
    Love life even when
    They’re wilting
    *****************

    Advanced planets
    Have more banjos than bombs
    And bayonets

    1. Some great responses to your verse, Wendy—well done.
      .
      summer day moon
      almost there
      .
      then, as if by magic,
      Northern Ireland’s government
      reappears

  24. summer day moon
    almost there

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    ghost town built
    in a phase of boom
    and bust
    *
    the booming
    ghost town
    of Jerome, Arizona
    *
    the played out
    mine town
    of Orla, Texas
    *

    1. nice historical/scenic approach laurie.

      i like your introduction to a new word link of “phase” in the first, one, the “ghost” and double o’s in boom.

      i’ve been to jerome….(reminiscent of greenwich village in the ’60’s) but all the quaint, artsy shops are deeply, built into the sides of the cloepatra hill surrounded by mingus mountains. if you blink…you can easily pass it…must park car a distance away and walk through only.

      1. Thanks for the comments, Wendy! I was intrigued by the marketing of Jerome as a ghost town–but one full of artists. That made it sort of “almost” in ways I hadn’t considered when the idea of ghost towns in general popped into my head.

        And thanks for noticing the “boo” element–wasn’t sure if that was subtle or stupid, but I hoped it would just be sort of fun. It’s funny that you use the phrase “blink..and you can …pass it,” as I tried to work that into another offering for this verse but so far have failed to.

  25. john,
    what a way to begin the new year! i am very honoured to be included in this first renku. your explanations with both pros and cons…i found to be enlightening and i want to applaud your sensitivity, sensibilities and handling of the introduction of your choice. it feels so good to know that you picked up on all the ways i linked to the previous verse…..to be understood!!!! having read several times over about this neat little creature to find a way to capture its essence. …
    i love learning to do renku and participation with the group…and i enjoy that you are sharing ….the delicate process of balancing that is employed in being the sabaki.
    .
    that you mentioned how tweaking can be done to any verse….even the hokku….i found quite telling. as it opens new windows. since a hokku never had to link with an above verse, there may be more wiggle room for rearrangements….besides…there are three “rooms” of ” furniture” to work with there.

  26. summer day moon
    almost there

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    a ship
    or a plane
    to the Arctic Circle?
    *
    circling
    one more time
    before we land
    *

  27. Taking into account some of John’s topic suggestions (mountains, education, history, politics, nation names):

    summer day moon
    almost there
    *
    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    about to summit
    my first
    fourteener
    *
    or
    *
    summiting
    my first
    fourteener
    *
    trading
    my mortarboard
    in for a tam
    *
    just a hop
    skip and a jump
    from fascism
    *
    yet another war
    brewing
    in the Middle East
    *
    ‘Merica
    baring
    her too-white teeth
    *
    ~Autumn

  28. Congrat, Wendy! Happy for you that one of your verses has been placed. I really enjoy your offerings. I agree with Laurie’s insightful comments. Your verse offers many possibilities for the next one. I’ve always been fascinated with the day moon, and I’m glad to see one highlighted in this renku. Thank you for another thoughtful commentary, John.

    1. Oops- typo. I meant “congrats” with an ‘s’ there. Typos are the bane of my existence. My absolute favorite is when I make one in a poetry submission to a journal. haha Anyway, take care & happy writing, Wendy!

    2. maureen,
      i am glad that you are pleased with this verse.
      the day moon is so provocative….and is a fascination of mine, too.
      .
      (she is seductive, like how the Japanese feel it is more alluring to wear something sheer…than nothing at all!) though hardly there…the influence is startling, unexpected….but like a goddess, mysterious and ever present….presiding over my thoughts.
      .
      have fun exploring….with the opening here as the other possibilities get tight.

      1. Hi, Wendy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Fascinating! The day moon as muse. Ohhh yes- the more challenging & fun it becomes.

  29. summer day moon
    almost there

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    traveling light
    on her trip
    around the world
    *
    one way
    on a round-trip
    ticket
    *
    buying a round
    for the happy hour
    regulars
    *

  30. summer day moon
    almost there
    .

    Wendy C. Bialek
    .
    Chris, I’m wondering if it might be a good time for the return of your Sharpiegate verse? (obviously, without saying “moon” this time)
    .

  31. summer day moon
    almost there

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    a croissant
    and a latte
    to go
    *
    nonchalant
    as he waves his dreams
    goodbye
    *
    the talk veers
    from politics to superheroes
    and back
    *

  32. Congratulations, Wendy–sometimes less is more!
    *
    summer day moon
    almost there
    *
    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    circling
    a town
    called Progress
    *
    ~Autumn

  33. Interesting choice, John, and thanks for the explanation. It’s a wonderful verse though the mention of summer alone is much too close to the hokku’s autumn (with both being used as modifiers) for my liking 🙂

    1. Yes. If we were writing for competition or publication, I would fix that, among other things. And I would have the choice of modifying either the hokku or the current verse. But, for my purposes in this session, it is enough to mention these things and keep playing.

    1. this placebo one, michael….is really growing on me….i see a day moon in the pill as it is worn down by salivar….a really good, creative image!

  34. Congratulations Wendy.
    .
    a piece of card
    over the spot
    where her foot poked through
    .
    a finger
    through the hole
    in her shoe
    .
    shoe shaped
    the piece of card
    holding his sock

    1. thank you so much, robert k.
      .
      a hole
      in her sock
      for the 6th toe

      .
      wendy c. bialek
      (just having fun, too)

  35. Congratulations, Wendy! I love the apparent simplicity and strong image–and the way the scene opens out to wider and more complicated things. Perfect link with the starry night toad.
    **

    summer day moon
    almost there

    Wendy C. Bialek
    *
    that much closer
    to the perfect candidate
    with every debate
    *
    wielding sharp tongues
    to whittle down
    the roster of candidates
    *

    1. thanks, laurie for your commentary and thoughtful insight.
      glad that you are finding many new ways to link.

      enjoy playing with it!

      using debate
      to reel in heroes
      by the lesser holes
      .
      wendy c. bialek

  36. really enjoying how the renku moves on

    *****
    on the loudspeaker
    the announce of train
    departing in five minutes

    *****

    the captain has switched on
    the fasten seat belt sign
    please return to your seat

    *****

    coffee
    at the petrol station
    tastes bitter

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