The Renku Sessions: Tawny Jacket – Week 5
I am John Stevenson and I will be your guide for a twelve-verse renku, in which we will compose one verse per week until completion. A longer session, with a different leader, is being planned to follow this one.
This week featured one-hundred-sixty-seven offers from forty-one poets. And our comments continue to be constructive, informative and encouraging. Great work, everybody!
Over the past couple of weeks, robust activity on The Haiku Foundation site has resulted in The Renku Sessions being pushed off of the home page before the Tuesday deadline for your offers. Should this happen again, please note that there is a link to “Current Renku Session” just below the currently featured posts. Clicking on this heading will take you to a page that offers, among other things, “Renku Post Archive.” That will allow you to have access to the current posting (and older ones).
Once again, we are blessed with many more comment worthy offers than I have time to present. So many good ones. Here are just a few of them:
playing a game of chess
on my phone
Maureen Virchau
This verse, and several others, suggested for me the “empty room” of the virtual world, in which we spend so much of our time.
the doctor knocks
a second time
Robert Kingston
Is the room empty because the patient has gotten tired of waiting and left? Or perhaps the patient is in there, experiencing a dreadful emptiness in anticipation of bad news.
one tile short
of a triple word score
Michael Henry Lee
The mention of tile suggested, for a moment, that the room may have been a bathroom. But then we are taken somewhere quite different. Games and sports are frequent renku topics.
can you see
the rings of Saturn?
Betty Shropshire
The empty room becomes outer space. The suggested but perhaps no longer visible wisps of smoke are in contrast to the well defined but extremely distant rings of Saturn.
your cologne
makes me weep
Victor Ortiz
Sensual in so many ways, this is very close to being a love verse. In fact, I am tempted to change my plan and start the love verses earlier. I won’t do that, but this sets a good example of the level of sensation we can achieve in our next two (love) verses.
a morning fry-up
lures them from their tent
Marietta McGregor
This is a good setup for love verses. And I like the suggestion of a regional English in the term “fry-up.”
the fire alarm dismantled
for my night to cook
Mary Stevens
The humor is very welcome. We don’t have any humor yet and I have opted for beauty, once again, with my fourth verse selection. So we will want some laughter quite soon. Note how Mary has avoided “smoke alarm” – a bit of renku specific humor there!
chandelier earrings
tickling my shoulders
Liz Ann Winkler
Also beautiful, sensual and an excellent potential setup for the love verses.
Our fourth verse is:
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
Beautiful. Musical.
I have taken the liberty of deleting the opening article, just to reduce the repetitive quality of verses and images that say “the this, the that.”
Seraphim are angelic beings, regarded in traditional Christian angelology as belonging to the highest order of the ninefold celestial hierarchy, associated with light, ardor, and purity. My hope is that this will be a perfect setup for bringing us down to earth for our love verses.
For our fifth verse, these will be the requirements/considerations:
- a three-line winter love verse
- connecting in some way to the fourth verse and in no obvious way to any of the previous verses
A few thoughts about love verses in a renku: they are about love between adult human beings. They are not about love of pets, love of food, etc. They can be romantic, earthy, even explicit. This renku will feature a short sequence of two love verses (fifth and sixth verses). While they will not be written as a narrative, there is a principle of forward motion involved. So, the first of these should not be about the end of a love relationship. Otherwise, we leave ourselves with fewer options for the next love verse.
Our renku, so far:
Tawny Jacket
autumn leaves
she sets out in
her tawny jacket
Andrew Shimield
the still-warm hollow
where the deer slept
Kristen Lindquist
cigar smoke
lingers
in the empty room
Pauline O’Carolan
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
Please enter your verse offers in the comments box, below. I will be reviewing these offers until midnight on Tuesday, December 17 (New York time zone). On Thursday, December 19, there will be a new posting containing my selection for our fifth verse, some discussion of other appreciated offers, and instructions for composing the sixth verse.
I look forward to seeing your offers!
John
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seeing
our breath on
such intimate terms
a flicker of candlelight
on fallen snow
outside the lovers’ window
*
heat rises
as lovers ignite
the winter candles
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
how organized
this winter tornado
appears
.
wendy c. bialek
the snow
not shaped like angels
after their tryst
their ice skates
hidden in his bag
for her birthday surprise
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
.
(a)
young lovers
bundled up in grandma’s
winter quilt
.
(b)
two godfathers
raising a toast to
the happy pair
.
– Lorin
Yikes, no seasonal reference in (b) ! The winter mood evades me. Today is expected to be 40 Celsius.
.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
.
all I can hear
as he lifts me from the ice
is my heartbeat
.
i very much like your, “all i can hear” verse, lorin….and maybe it helped you to cool off when you wrote it!
i do identify how difficult it is to write about something that is so different from what your body is sensing currently.
.
when i’m posting poems with brightly coloured flowers and others are talking falling leaves. in az, my garden is still producing herbs and morning glories late in november and october. back in new york, where i spent most of my life….the last morning glory never went beyond the 11th of september. however, with global warming who knows if any pattern will remain as we knew it.
Ah, Wendy…Arizona, close to New Mexico, home of the most comprehensive haiku data base that exists. 🙂
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And I’m from the Deeper South: Melbourne, Australia. Where I should emerge from my ‘cave’ about now and water whatever’s left of my beans and tomatoes.
.
I’m happy John has brought renku back to THF. Renku tends to attract participants from all over.
.
cheers,
Lorin
smitten
by her flirtatious
snowball
smitten
with your flirtatious
snowball
–
to avoid ‘her’
i totally enjoyed autumn’s verse and the education (via the links she supplied) i researched about the instrument invented by franklin…i have always been mesmerized by the sounds that came off individual glasses filled with water but never heard such dynamics coming from this horizontal instrument. i knew of seraphim as they are referenced to in hebrew history.
“Seraphim are angelic beings, regarded in traditional Christian angelology as belonging to the highest order of the ninefold celestial hierarchy, associated with light, ardor, and purity. My hope is that this will be a perfect setup for bringing us down to earth for our love verses.”
this quoted by john from intro to this fifth verse.
because of this last line:
” My hope is that this will be a perfect setup for bringing us down to earth for our love verses.”
i did not offer any verses that brought us back up there…..and my mind had many ideas that included departing…. lovers.
i very much love the new offer patrick has made…..
my question is one of clarity?
should i follow the wishes of the renku leader, John…. should we allow the cherry picking of verses that flow with the same spirit as autumn’s ethereal verse, ….should we shift the theme to branch out and grow in spontaneous fashion as my understanding of renku do, or are partial influences directing this renku to be more of a haiku sequence? i have very limited experience with structured renku.
other than a recent, poetrypea pod renku….my other experience was over twenty-five years ago, and i knew nothing about this art form. i was quickly kicked out of the group because i refused to honour the leader’s rules for insisting on a shift of subject matter….which i now understand is necessary and distinguishes renku from haiku sequence. i want to learn this form, and learn to work within the rules of the leader….but i’m getting very mixed messages within and among the dynamics of group members, with most likely more experience than i have….do group members have a say in the direction the renku takes…beyond their own verse offering?
Hello Wendy. In my very limited experience with and understanding of renku, it is the sabaki who guides. I’m sure John will have a more definitive answer. The Haiku Foundation did run a very interesting session some time ago, New Calendar, where each successive verse was chosen by the participant whose offer was previously chosen. Here’s the link if you’d like to read it. https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/2017/09/07/the-renku-sessions-new-calendar-36/
.
—Marietta
Thanks for your iinut on my post….marietta i await more details as well.
and i will look at that link you shared…thank you for your reply.
wendy
ha, ha, ha! that’s a good word…but i meant to type: input
Hi Marietta and Wendy and Lorin,
Thank you to Wendy for posing some excellent questions and to Marietta and Lorin for the informative responses and links. I look forward to following them and learning more about this form.
*
I realize I have been (overly, perhaps) prolific in my comments here. It stems from two things–first, my excitement and enthusiasm as I watch other poets respond in so many excellent and intriguing ways to my verse; and second, my personal learning style, which is to comment and question, and then to listen and process any responses to my comments and questions.
*
I also really appreciate and learn from other poets’ comments and questions, whether directed at me and my writing, or at other poets and theirs. That John has been so open and encouraging of a free-flowing, in-depth dialogue here is one of the things which has made me most grateful for this unique opportunity. This type of live discussion is rare-to-non-existent in the tanka world (in my personal experience); and it is a privilege to participate.
*
I absolutely understand that I in no way have any say–or even input– into which verse is eventually chosen. That is entirely John’s prerogative–and thank goodness for that, as I have little or no idea what makes for the best direction for a renku! We are really fortunate to have John’s experience, expertise and leadership.
*
My intention in my communications here has always and only been to make the most of this incredible educational opportunity and to put what I am learning into practice. I am not trying to cherry pick or direct attention to any particular verse; I am merely responding to those that sparked my interest or moved me in some way. I’m very sorry if that has lead to any kind of confusion or aggravation.
*
I am happy to refrain from further comment if that is the case for anyone here!
*
~Autumn
Hello Autumn, please keep up the questions and comments! Renku in Japan may have originated as a fast-and-furious game between experienced players, but I’m certainly not in that league. Yours and others’ comments and questions elucidate very useful responses, for me at least. We’re responsible for our own verses ultimately, but I believe we can learn so much from comment about other responses from participants as well as from the responses themselves and from our sabaki’s choice and summing up. It’s such fun to get an inkling into how people’s minds work! I used to read renku scratching my head until I participated in the whole game. I understand your enthusiasm and it’s great!
.
— Marietta
autumn you deserve all the accolades for putting forth an exquisite verse and sharing the links to this otherworldly musical instrument. And i am most happy for your work to get included in this renku. you write beautifully, and have a good handle on understanding various meanings in the verses we are sharing here. you are a valued asset to this renku experience….i would never want you to stop sharing your insights here.
Hi Wendy,
Marietta’s example (that she cites, below yours) was fun. It was based on John’s excellent idea of giving a taste of what it takes to act as sabaki to as many of us as possible. I believe it was an experiment.
.
The norm is that there is one sabaki per renku session. In my experience, the sabaki always has the last say as to which verses he/she selects and that’s even among the most understanding and tolerant of them, who aim to teach as they go and encourage questions and comments.
.
“….should we shift the theme to branch out and grow in spontaneous fashion as my understanding of renku do, or are partial influences directing this renku to be more of a haiku sequence? ”
.
John will be resisting any “partial interests” that might turn this renku to anything even remotely resembling a haiku sequence, as I hope anyone acting as sabaki would.
.
Sabaki does the best that can be done in verse choice and has the task of looking backwards and forwards as the renku progresses. Though participants may write their verses spontaneously, renku is not in any sense a spontaneous form: each kind of renku has its stated requirements. John has said that this is “a 12-verse renku”, so it’s likely to be either a Shisan or a Junicho (examples of which I’m sure could be googled up)
.
There’s a good introduction to renku by the late John E. Carley, here:
.
https://poetrysociety.org.nz/affiliates/haiku-nz/haiku-poems-articles/archived-articles/introduction-to-renku/
.
– Lorin
Wow! thanks so much for that wonderful presentation, lorin.
started reading carley’s words and got so inspired….i wrote about 15 verses. one i just posted.
i love how carley writes….i did order his book, Renku Reckoner,
don’t know yet if this same info in your link is also included in the large black and white…numbered covered one. but i just started from the first page. don’t see an exact model the john is doing…here, among the 12 verses….but thanks so much for pointing me this way. and for reassuring me.
Hi Ladies
Thank you for your comments. I too am new to the form. I have dabbled previously but never grasped it. John’s spoon feeding along with peoples comments and questions is making a huge difference this time. It is also nice that people are laying their cards on the table. Please keep it coming.
.
Autumn
Re conversation on tanka.
It may not be as detailed as this, but when on FB I belonged to Katha Bella Wilson’s tanka poets on site page. I found the site useful for several other Japanese forms too.
.
our fender bender
on an icy night
a meet cute?
the imprint
of our white hair
vanishes on the window
although breathless
at the frozen waterfall
we manage a kiss
our ski date
climaxing with two
chipped teeth
Hahahaha Maureen!
Hi, Marion! Glad that verse gave you a laugh. haha Remembering my downhill skiing days now. No chipped teeth, but lots of bruises along the way!
visitation…
the contours
of her body
Hello, Patrick,
*
I wanted to applaud your use of the word “visitation,” which has a ghostly quality about it. The glass harmonica has a history of supernatural associations (Mesmer used it to hypnotize his subjects, for example). I wondered whether anyone here might pick up on that. Of course, “visitation” carries other associations, such as funeral wakes and custody arrangements.
*
The supernatural and funereal angles especially bring added meaning to your follow-on lines:
*
the contours
of her body
*
It allows us to wonder whether this is a spiritual or corporeal being, whether she is hovering midair or laid out in a casket? Is the speaker seeing her curves, or feeling them physically? Love affairs can certainly continue beyond the grave (just ask Heathcliff).
*
Because your placement of “visitation” and your ellipses combine to create a pause/break, I’m wondering whether you might be able to come up with an alternative arrangement in order to keep your very powerful conceptual connection in the running.
*
Even if not, it’s a hell of a senryu–visceral enough to give me chills. Thanks for sharing it here!
*
~Autumn
Bloody autocorrect added the “h” to “armonica” even after I retyped it three times!! Grrrr.
*
Would that we could edit posts!!
*
~Autumn
I suggested moving renku to the user-friendly THS Forums, but I’m guessing they want these sessions to attract readers to this site.
This is a humdinger of a verse, and it would be a shame to be out of the running. As John as requested a verse to depict the start of a relationship could this be read as a vision of his wife to be before a proposal of engagement or marriage.
I’ve seen ellipsis used in many sessions could this be used as an extension to take the reader into his thoughts/dream?
Loved reading your thoughts on this one.
Hi Carol. I’m interested that you have seen the ellipsis used in renku chains. I’m confused now, because I thought only the hokku of a renku was meant to have a clear grammatical break/pause.
.
—Marietta
Hello, Marietta
When I read the various forms of a renku session within the Late John Carley – renku reckoner, Not only are there M dashes but also ellipsis.
I find this confusing as it is recommended, as you say, the hokku only has this break or pause.
.
in the shisan example- page 65 verse 9 by frank Williams
.
train approaching…
through the narrow gorge
white rapids roar
.
junico example- page 71 verse 7 John Carley
.
snow, they say,
is falling thickly—
moxa on my skin
also verse 10-
.
early plumb—
a petal bathed in moonlight
.
If these aren’t seen or read as breaks please can anyone explain why, they seem like pauses to me.
.
I’ve read the book from cover to cover(and back again) trying to understand this difficult form.
I’ve also read quite a few session on other sites, it seems they have their own rules 🙂
I may never truly get the hang of it, however I do enjoy the participation and want to get it right.
Autumn san,
Thank you for your kind words.
Cheers,
Patrick
jumping your car
in an ice storm
a spark between us?
Chris,
Can you write this without a break?
John
I thought the pivot line made it continuous? Maybe more so as a statement:
–
jumping your car
in an ice storm
the spark between us
jumping your car
in an ice storm
the start of something?
needing a jump
in midnight snow
our meet cute
–
jumping your car
in an ice storm
our meet cute
jumping cables
in an ice storm
our meet cute
jumper cables
in an ice storm
our meet cute
i like this one, chris, it checks all the boxes…it’s winter, it’s beginning a romance and links to forth verse….just the break needs to be ironed out…don’t give up!
this went to the wrong place…chris….i was saying this about your post:
jumping your car
in an ice storm
a spark between us?
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
so snowed in
they turn on
the hallmark channel
wendy c. bialek
my embarrassment
& soup spatter is quickly
kissed off
wendy c. bialek
deaf to the priest
goosebumps after saying
I do
the touch of his lips
bringing a flush to her
alabaster throat
Lovely learning about the armonica. Thank you!
*
snowed in
time to lay and listen
to his breathing
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
*
gazing at the snow
in her hair he foresees
their long life together
*
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
under his lips
her alabaster white throat
begins to flush
deaf to the priest
goose bumps after saying
I do
witching hour
checking the size
of her slipper
restaurant window
his drawn love heart
reaches the cold
.
cafe window
dribbles of condensation
from the heart
dribbles
of condensation
from the heart
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
.
sharing…
a pint
of draught ale
first date
sharing a pint
of draught ale
eyes only
for each other
at the snowflake milonga
*
their initials
scrawled with hearts
on fresh snow
*
their initials
scrawled in a heart
on fresh snow
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
music of the spheres
hand in hand beneath
winter starlight
night of snow
under our wedding quilt
she sighs deeply
somehow falling for
my eHarmony date
après ski
– Betty Shropshire
or:
suddenly falling
for your eHarmony date
après ski
– Betty Sheopshire
Err…Betty Shropshire
lets focus on the
drip drip drip
of the ice between us
heart-shaped ice
melts
between our notes
coal light-
she hides the TV remote
under her side
.
they flick a coin
for the log store run
silver moon
.
sealed lips
he adjusts her lip gloss – after
tunnel of love ride
jerkin in between
oneness
not up to the mark
ohkaaay
.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
.
.
eye to eye
connecting the dots
on the longest night
.
.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
.
.
you have the right to remain silent
she said in a cold voice
as she placed him in handcuffs
.
(a tribute to the silent h in armonica)
.
A chilling verse, princess k–one which leaves us to puzzle, “Role play, or reality?”
*
There’s no silent “h” in “armonica;” that is the actual name Benjamin Franklin gave to the version of the instrument he invented (see link in comments below). It stems from the Italian for “harmony,” which is “armonia.”
*
Tribute appreciated, nonetheless!
*
~Autumn
Hi Autumn, and many thanks for your comments. Here is the direct quote from your web page reference that I based my verse on:
.
Glass ‘Armonica’ vs. ‘Harmonica’
These are different spellings of the same instrument…
.
Whether or not it is written or pronounced, my mind considers the letter h as a “silent partner” to this word.
.
I do agree with the sentiment expressed later in the paragraph, “I think it’s only right to use the name chosen by its inventor for his invention, especially when the inventor is no less than Benjamin Franklin.”
.
In any case, just looking for different ways to “link and shift” from the previous verse. Cheers!
That is actually a really unique way to “link and shift,” and one I might not have considered. Thank you for explaining your thought process, as it helps me to expand my own notions of what is possible in renku.
*
I hope you didn’t feel fussed at. Many people respond to what appears to be a misspelling of the word, or perhaps a missing apostrophe in an elision, ‘armonica. Since you’d already read the info in the link, I realize that was not the case here. Sorry for overstepping in my desire to clarify.
*
~Autumn
um… Princess, re:
.
” just looking for different ways to “link and shift” from the previous verse. ”
.
You may not have intended that “… link and shift from the previous verse”, but I have, this year,come across misinformation regarding ‘link & shift’ in renku so I want to clear it up:
.
We link to the previous verse. But we shift completely away from the one before that.
.
Though in short renku it can seem that we both link to & shift from the previous verse, “shift” from the verse before the previous verse is the major thing that keeps a renku moving ever forward until the end.
.
– Lorin
Thank you so much for taking the time to explain this further, Lorin. It seems as though linkandshift is often compressed into a one-word concept, which can certainly cause confusion. I appreciate your straightforward clarification:
“We link to the previous verse. But we shift completely away from the one before that.”
*
Just to make sure my own understanding is accurate: When we “shift,” are we shifting away from only “the verse before the previous verse,” or are we shifting away from ALL the verses before the previous verse? Just based on some of the dialogue here, I’m gleaning that we’re not meant to connect to ANY of the verses before the previous verse (for example, we probably couldn’t reference holly in verse 5, because it might connect to the leaves in the hokku; similarly, we couldn’t reference Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, because they would all connect back to the deer in verse 2).
*
If I were to spell what I’m asking out symbolically, it might look like:
*
AA
*
AB
*
BC
*
CD
*
DE
*
EF
*
etc.
*
with each verse connecting only to the verse immediately previous, but not to any other earlier verses.
*
This pattern would then continue on until the very last verse, which if I recall correctly, connects back to the hokku (which, in the unusually short 7 verse renku example above, would make it FA).
*
Is that right? (That is if my rendering even makes sense to anyone besides myself!)
*
We’re so fortunate to have you here to join John in guiding us through the process!! Some of us would be floundering about in the backwaters of our renku river without you two!!
*
~Autumn
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
sharing favorites
in a game
of name that tune
*
litmusing
with a round
of name that tune
*
the off-key
harmony
of their carol duet
you teasing
out our new safe word
while snowed in
– Betty Shropshire
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
—Autumn Noelle Hall
.
twin marshmallows
toasting into melted
lusciousness
.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
—Autumn Noelle Hall
.
his lame excuse
he was waylaid by
a will-o’-the-wisp
.
ice capades
not escapades she said
silly boy
Oh my, Autumn. Armonica. An instrument I was unfamiliar with. Enjoyed researching it, Lovely verse. Thank you for both.
.
.
resigned to life
in this earthbound snow scene
…until our first kiss
.
reflected
in tall frosted windows
the wedding party
.
icy street corner
the timbre of your voice
saying hello
Thank YOU, Jackie! I’m so thrilled to have introduced you to such a unique instrument–good on you for researching! Hope you had a chance to listen to an armonica, too!
*
I am very partial to “the timbre” of certain voices myself, so I am drawn to your third offering. I’m guessing it would be easy enough to toggle the images around a bit, in order to eliminate that break after L1–if you were of a mind! It’s such a strong sound connection.
*
~Autumn
Thank you for reminding me of the renku convention, Autumn. I’ve been too long away from The Blog!
.
Not sure I can get away with this play on words (and being too technical may spoil the image) but here’s another version:
.
icy winds harmonize
with the timbre of your voice
saying hello
.
Or :
(I know a comma will create a break. So does merely eliminating one at the end of L1 achieve the desired effect ?
.
on icy air
the timbre of your voice
saying hello
Hi, Jackie,
I am brand spanking new to renku, so I am no authority. But based on what John explained to me in an earlier verse session, if we could put a comma after a clause, it counts as a break. Since we could/would put a comma after the prepositional phrase “on icy air” in a sentence, there is a break whether the comma is included or not. (Please correct me if I am wrong, John!!).
*
I’m guessing if you reversed your order, you could easily eliminate the break:
*
the timbre of your voice
saying hello
on icy air
*
Even if you strung that into a sentence, there would be no comma:
*
I recall the timbre of your voice saying hello on icy air.
*
Since “timbre” and “hello” already imply “voice, ” you could even pare it down further to:
*
the timbre
of your hello
on icy air
*
Hope all this is not overstepping–I am talking myself through this as I go, and your wonderful verse offered a perfect opportunity to consider possibilities that might fit within the renku criteria.
*
Thanks for helping me learn the renku ropes!!
*
~Autumn
Well, I’ll be, Autumn! You have put your finger on the perfect solution to the problem with this analysis. I adore “the timbre/of your hello/on icy air.” It is a rewrite that I’m so pleased to see posted to this round. Of course,I won’t submit it for consideration, as it’s an iteration I don’t believe I would have come to without your input. Haikudos to you (my coined word, by the way, hehehe) for your keen observation and lovely suggestion.
.
Write on.
—Jackie
Hi, Jackie–thanks for the haikudos (love that!). Just wanted to say that “re-write” is entirely yours–they’re all your words, I just nudged them a little. I find it harder to “tell” some of my methods of rethinking things than to “show” (especially in a post). I’m guessing you would absolutely have come up with that iteration on your own, if I were a bit better at guiding.
*
~Autumn
P.S. Hope this ends up somewhere in the vicinity of your post–seems we’ve run out of reply buttons! 😀
Autumn, congratulations on a beautiful verse! I’m enjoying your commentary too.
…
he offered me
oysters but I wanted
champagne
…
he smiled
and my frozen heart
shattered
…
winter rain on the roof
and you and I
drunk with love
…
Mimi and Rodolfo touch
as snow falls
on Paris
Many thanks, Pauline! I appreciate your reading my (probably all-too-chatty) commentary!
*
I love your third offering, which I can only assume is a reference to La Boheme. That Rodolfo is a poet seems particularly appropriate here! It would also make a beautiful haiku in reverse:
*
as snow falls
on Paris
Mimi and Rodolfo touch
*
I realize that order wouldn’t work here, but it seems to not just synchronize the events themselves, it compares the beauty of that touch to the sublimely ethereal scene that is Paris in falling snow. Lovely.
*
~Autumn
You are on the money, Autumn, I was referring to La Boheme which is one of the most romantic and sad of operas. And Paris is the most romantic of cities!
…
To be a haiku it would need a break so be written:
…
snow falls
on Paris (–)
Mimi and Rodolfo touch
(–) =break
…
I’ve been chuckling about our first verse – just change a letter and it reads:
…
Autumn leaves
she sets out in
her tawny jacket
Hi, Pauline!
*
I was actually considering “as” in its simile sense of comparison:
*
Mimi and Rodolfo’s touch is as snow falling in Paris
*
In this sense, there would be a break, especially if it was written “snow fall” vs. “falls.”
*
I really appreciate the chance to have this back-and-forth, as it gives me a glimpse into the different ways we can each interpret the same phrase; this in turn helps me to examine my own writing more carefully for alternative interpretations.
*
My husband chuckled at the hokku when he read it as well. One of the no doubt unforeseen bonuses my parents afforded me when they chose Autumn was the incredible number of Asian Short Form poems written about me…HA! XD XD XD
*
But hey, sharing my name with Akiko Yosano…? Not too shabby!!
*
~Autumn
we share an ice cream
sprinkled
with rainbows
bit summery, this one :/
*
matching toques
and empty snifters
on the fireside hearth
*
his touch
as light as the falling snow
on her cheeks
*
two hearts etched
on the frosty morning
windshield
*
ice dancers
m…e….l……t
into each other
*
a young couple
hold each other tight
on the icy sidewalk
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
.
cousins under
grandma’s winter quilt
just warming up
.
– Lorin
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
– Autumn Noelle Hall
•
a)
on the mountainside
we listen to
the raven’s mating call
.
b)
with her hand on my thigh
I miss another
shooting star
.
c)
moon glow
on our shoulders
as each robe slips off
.
d)
under a starlight sheet
she sleeps
naked
first kiss
on my neck invisible
as icicles drip
more and more
dizzy with lust
as we sled downhill
my embarrassing
soup spatter is quickly
kissed off
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
..
Autumn Noelle Hall
..
melting snow
where they pause
to kiss
..
an icicle
breaks the spell
of a first kiss
lovely verse Autumn. Am I the only one who thought you’d misspelt harmonica!
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
*
carol singing
with a long scarf
round both our necks
*
‘Happy Christmas’ she says
as her zip travels
down her back
No, Andrew, I too did a search, and learnt something new 🙂
Thank you, Andrew–love that traveling back zipper!
*
–and YAY for initiative, Carol! Here’s to looking things up!
*
For others who might not have the time:
*
“In 1761 Benjamin Franklin was in London representing the Pennsylvania Legislature to Parliament. Franklin was very interested in music: he was a capable amateur musician, attended concerts regularly, and even wrote a string quartet! One of the concerts Franklin attended was by Deleval, a colleague of his in the Royal Academy, who performed on a set of water tuned wineglasses patterned after Pockridge’s instrument. Franklin was enchanted, and determined to invent and build ‘a more convenient’ arrangement.
Franklin’s new invention premiered in early 1762, played by Marianne Davies—a well known musician in London who learned to play Franklin’s new invention. Initially Franklin named it the ‘glassychord’, but soon settled on ‘armonica’ as the name for his new invention—after the Italian word for harmony “armonia”. Apparently Franklin built a second instrument for Ms. Davies, as she toured Europe with hers, while Franklin returned to Philadelphia with his own.”
from: https://www.glassarmonica.com/
have we crossed
from friends to lovers
under the Ursids?
–
are we friends
or something more
under the Geminids?
I forgot about Geminids being summer in the southern hemisphere. Apparently Ursids do in fact only appear in the northern hemisphere, but I’m not sure if that qualifies or disqualifies it.
–
have we crossed
from friends to lovers
in midnight snow?
Congratulations Autumn – a lovely verse.
.
Tawny Jacket
.
autumn leaves
she sets out in
her tawny jacket
.
Andrew Shimield
.
the still-warm hollow
where the deer slept
.
Kristen Lindquist
.
cigar smoke
lingers
in the empty room
.
Pauline O’Carolan
.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
.
.
searching for plum blossoms
i chew the yellow
off of a no. 2
.
until it entered my temple
no thoughts of charcoal
as a weapon of mass destruction
.
the hunger moon
breathes liquid nitrogen
into my octopus pot
.
.
I like the liquid nitrogen one, original and visual
the octopus says; I scream
Hi Pratima, nice to see you here at renku, and thanks so much for your kind words. The verse is of course a reference to Basho’s famous octopus pot hokku (although in the opposite season):
.
Octopus pot—
evanescent dreams
of the summer moon
— Basho, Haiku: An Anthology of Japanese Poems by Stephen Addiss and Fumiko Yamamoto
.
There are volumes written on this hokku, its various translations and interpretations. Check out the world kigo database for starters, if you are interested: https://wkdkigodatabase03.blogspot.com/2007/03/octopus-tako.html
.
oh thank you for the link. Always nice to learn further
btw …someone wrote about squids and twisted it a little, wonder who, good one though … very like this one and very not like this one…
oh, …my mind is a monkey… thanks again though
the Basho poem…
kids with a sitter
while we dance on
through the long night
– Betty Shropshire
… togetherness
doing the dishes after…
…loading the washer
Dear Pratima,
dishwasher in togetherness, appearing, what a
practical way of looking at things!
with regards
S.Radhamani
🙂
wading deeper
into his shadow
for warmth
kissing a cold fish
for good luck
afterlife
moving too
a warmer clime
with my cinnamon girl
not the Geminids
she falls for
that twinkle in his eye
*
Revision:
the miracle
of December-December
cutting the cold in two
*
our breath caught
in unison as Geminids
streak by
*
not the Geminids
she falls for
that twinkle in his eye
*
Laurie Greer
*
This is my favorite iteration of this twinkling verse, Laurie! I love the way the second line pivots between the upper and lower lines, and the way the verb “falls” captures the motion of the meteorites as well as the swoon. Really a sweet offering.
*
~Autumn
Thank you! I was also after the “twin” in “twinkle” to suggest the Gemini twins. That’s really what started it. The rest was luck.
he feeds her
a glazed red strawberry
on a silver spoon
Or
she feeds him
a still red cherry
with fluffy cloud mousse
he sprinkles
winter oats
into a simmering pot
.
I love the deceptive simplicity of this verse, Carol. It could be a glimpse of breakfast prep the morning after, which is a clever way to shift time. Or, it could be an oblique allusion to “sowing his wild oats.” In that doubling, it asks us to ask: sweet gesture or steamy scene?
*
Makes me look anew at the possibilities of words under words…
*
~Autumn
Thank you for your thoughts on this, Autumn. I’m not the cleverest of people when it comes to words, but I do try to portray a double meaning when the mood hits me 🙂
icicles drip
soundlessly
between our toes
wendy c. bialek
an electric arc
as snow swirls
into her darkness
Congratulations, Autumn, such an ephemeral verse, and one that is fitting as a shift from one season into another, short-lived and beautiful. Well done.
I look forward to reading the responses to your verse.
An interesting comment, John, re Marietta’s
.
a morning fry-up
lures them from their tent
.
“This is a good setup for love verses. And I like the suggestion of a regional English in the term “fry-up.” – John
.
It’s primarily “regional” to England, Ireland, Scotland. Naturally, regional vernacular travels with immigrants to the new country so it’s not surprising that it should be used by some in Australia and New Zealand. But I’ve never heard it spoken here in my ordinary life, so I don’t think it’s regional in the sense of being an example of Australian vernacular speech.
.
– Lorin
You’re quite correct about fry-up’s being a regional English expression, Lorin. And the aroma is the same when cooked by a Welshman in Tasmania. 🙂
.
— Marietta
ah, well there ya go. I would leave Wales out. For no other reason, be assured, than it felt like overloading. 🙂
(Do we still say ‘The British Isles’? I wasn’t sure what was politically correct nowadays. )
.
– Lorin
‘The British Isles’ haven’t seen us referred to that for a long while. After yesterdays voting results I think we can begin to put the ‘U’ back into the UK… hopefully.
.
I quite like Welshman in Tasmania 🙂
The British Isles is a geographical description, Lorin, used to describe England, Scotland, Wales and the entire island of Ireland, as well as some smaller surrounding islands.
The United Kingdom is a political description and includes England, Scotland and Wales only the six counties of Northern Ireland, as Southern Ireland is an independent republic.
“Great Britain” is the mainland only, comparing England, Scotland and Wales.
Comprising
the serendipity
drip of icicles
between toes
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
.
ice-skating
with my own hunk
of burning love
.
– Lorin
.
. . . of this, of that, of mice and men. I’d better do something about my all-too-obvious repetition of Autumn’s 3rd line “of”
.
revised to:
.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
.
ice-skating
with my hunka hunka
burning love
.
– Lorin
.
Nice rhythm, Lorin 🙂
Congratulations, Autumn! These instruments certainly have an unearthly sound and your “seraphim song” is a stroke of genius, imo. 🙂
.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
Thank you so much, Lorin–that’s high praise coming from a renku pro like you! What a fantastic learning opportunity this is for me!!
*
I like the image of your hunka burnin’ love out there melting the ice–and hearts. Very amusing!
*
~Autumn
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
fresh snow
a vow
to start over
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
catching our breaths
in unison as the Geminids
streak by
*
or?
catching our breaths
as the Geminids
streak by
*
This does get harder!
snuggled up
by the heater watching
Meet Joe Black
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
frozen rivers
we’ve etched on each
other’s faces
^^^^^
champagne flutes
cracked
ribald Christmas
heads spin
down snow mountain
f a l l I n g i n l o v e
Autumn dusk performance
Of yellow and orange
Wedding poems
Early dusk performance
Of yellow and orange
Wedding poems
I’ll be looking
at the snow fall
but I’ll be seeing you
.
.
My winterized version of that famous song.
Hey, Maureen, now you have me singing your version of that song! 😁
.
— Marietta
Hola, Marietta! hahaha Me too! Singing along as I was driving today. Snowing here in NY, of course.
her shiver and bow
on fiddle – yesteryear’s
bloom
eyebrows raising
glow of melting candles
by the sixties
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
the miracle
of a December-December romance
cutting the cold in half
Well done, Autumn — so many contenders!
.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
he presents her
with a champagne diamond
at the bus stop
Thank you so much, Marion!
*
I’d never heard of a “champagne diamond” before–I appreciate your prompting me to seek out some info and pics. I like the contrast between the high-end diamond and the bus stop–very unexpected. Makes me want to know why he chose that spot to present the…ring? Is that where they met, perhaps?
*
I was wondering whether it might open the poem and up the intrigue (as well as eliminate the “her” pronoun, which might connect back to the hokku?) to pare your verse down to:
*
he presents
a champagne diamond
at the bus stop
*
It lets that unique diamond stand alone and sparkle for a moment, too!
*
Lots of promise here!
*
~Autumn
Indeed, a lovely sounding verse!
•
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
– Autumn Noelle Hall
•
sharing my first
anything with a man
as the snow falls
– Betty Shropshire
hypnotized
by my ski instructor’s
rhythmic hips
This made me smile, Maureen!
Hi, Marion! So glad to see you posting again. Thanks so much for letting me know. Been trying to tap into some renku humor over here. haha Hope all is well. Happy reading & writing & painting!
Yes, all good, thanks, Maureen. I’ve been busy editing a book, so I kept missing the renku deadline — but that’s finished now, so fingers crossed. 🙂
Ohhhhh good- glad all is well. Editing a book? Impressive. Yes, fingers & toes crossed!
lol, love it!
Oh wow- thanks so much, polona! Thanks for letting me know it gave you a laugh. That verse took many forms along the way & I’m so glad this version works. haha Hope you are doing well. Thanks for all your enthusiasm you bring to the renku party. Happy writing!
Congratulations Autumn
***********************
our snow day
interrupted by
various children
***************
our snow angels
intersecting at all
the right angles
***************
a toast to the
inventor of snow shoes
and condoms
for Michael only:
in bed
they turn to the page
“how to raise snowbabies”
Thanks Wendy
Thank you, Michael. I like your snow angel image a lot. Every couple years, I’m compelled to flop down and make one, just because…I left the last one at the base of one of our mountain waterfalls.
*
Your word play between “angels” and “angles” is really fun and interesting, too. I especially like that it’s a “right angle,” or 90 degrees. From the perspective of lying on the horizontal ground, that would make for a perpendicular intersection with the sky-realm, which a couple on their backs would naturally be looking up into. It’s sweet to think of the seraphim looking back down on them in that moment.
*
~Autumn
Thank you Autumn
.
she reads a sign
in the halo of snowflakes
on his hair
.
the strong grip
of his thighs over hers
on the toboggan
.
fireside…
a trickle of iced water
through her cleavage
is this
ice fishing together
a date?
is this
ice fishing outing
a date?
is it true
their courtship revolved around
ice fishing?
cold fish
nourished on the milk of solitude
and yet it moves
their romance
revolves around
ice fishing?
As soon as I posted it I realized ‘outing’ was a no-no. Not to mention the double ‘ing.’
Or rather:
–
their romance
centers around
ice fishing?
his fork winds
spaghetti while he perfects
their death spiral
wendy c. bialek
*death spiral is a figure-skating technique done in duo/pair ice skating.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
his blown kiss
melts a snow flake
on her lower lip
.
wendy c. bialek
Starting over, still new at this….hoping this respects the rules to keep things universal.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
his blown kiss
melts a snow flake
on her lower lip
.
wendy c. bialek
Starting over, still knew at this….hoping this respects the rules to keep things universal.
joining you
in the heavenly warmth
of a yuzu bath
Uh, no, we have ‘warm’! 😆
.
joining you
in the heavenly comfort
of a yuzu bath
John, just a quick question, please. I’m just wondering about how local our renku will be. Christmas and winter don’t go together for Aust, as of course you know. We’re two weeks out and it’s high summer and 39°Celsius! 😁 We do have deer and autumn leaves down here, although they’re both exotics! — Marietta
I’m glad you mention this, Marietta. During our third week, I said, “We have a special challenge here because we are writing as a world-wide group and northern hemisphere holidays associated with autumn occur during spring in the southern hemisphere. While we are going to have images that reflect local flora or fauna from different parts of the world, I would like to keep the season references as inclusive as climate variations will allow.”
.
The same applies to all seasons, which are one thing north of the equator and the opposite south of it. I won’t be selecting a winter verse that uses a calendar date as a season reference (e.g. Christmas, New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day) but I will consider using winter images relating to things that would be wintry, whether occurring north or south, even if they do not occur in all climates. So, for instance, snow, ice skating, mittens, etc. are fair game for our purposes.
Thank you, John. That clarification is very helpful.
.
Cheers, Marietta
Very ethereal, Autumn! How to come down to earth? 🙂
twirling their forks
they feed each other
angel hair pasta
.
Or:
just like Tom Jones
only this time
with angel hair pasta
.
I LOVE this, Marietta–angel hair pasta is such a clever and fun way to connect to seraphim! And, synchronistically, it is also my very favorite pasta (next to ancini de pepe, which is basically angel hair strands cut into tiny little balls). I really like the dizzying motion of your twirling forks and the mutual feeding in the first iteration. This verse is so charming and sweet, but also so humble and real. Relatable, down-to-earth romance tugs my heartstrings so much more than the Prince Charming fantasy variety…
*
~Autumn
Hello Autumn, I’m so glad you like the pasta and the verse! Thanks! And thank you for giving your thoughts. It’s great to know how an offering hits the spot and why, as it’s a bit of a struggle to think my way into winter right now!
.
Cheers from warm Australia, Marietta
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
his eyes sparkle
upon caroler’s
porcelain skin
.
wendy c. bialek
Congratulations, Autumn and thank you, John. I love such an ethereal and fragile link to our first love verse.
Thank you, Liz. I loved your chandelier earring verse, too. When I read it this again morning, I was certain it was our 4th verse (especially as it was the last one in John’s line up), and I immediately started musing on how to connect to it. I kept reading, anticipating the instructions for verse 5. So I was more than a little surprised to find my own verse in their place!
*
Your toboggan verse is a very strong offering, in every sense. I like the rugged sensuality it brings in, as well as your choice of the word “toboggan,” which comes from the Micmac tongue in Canada, and “grip,” which is a nice, muscular verb. It’s fun to read aloud, too!
*
~Autumn
Hi, Liz Ann! Just wanted to say that I adore your “chandelier earrings” verse as well. It lingers with me, and I hope you can find a way to include those lines in a haiku or any other poetry form for publication. Take care, and happy writing!
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
fingers meeting
on the Advent calendar’s
glittery window
*
Laurie–I really like the tactile nature of this verse. I can feel the scritchiness of the glitter when I read that last line. I also like the tentativeness of just fingers touching, which does a good job of conveying the earliest stages of romance. There is also a nice sense of anticipation as we wait to see what’s behind that window!
*
A fun, lighthearted offering!
*
~Autumn
pony and trap
the cold in her eyes
mistaken for tears
as they slip and slide
across the ice the two
can’t stop giggling
This was my husband and I on one of our first dates–arm-in-arm, him having just arrived in Colorado from Hawaii in slick-bottomed penny loafers, and me in some of the last high-heeled boots I’ve ever owned, trying-and-failing to walk in two feet of fresh snow in downtown Denver. We could not stay upright, and we could NOT stop laughing; it was utterly ridiculous. And it’s also one of my most joyful memories of us.
*
Thanks for reminding me with your happy snap-shot capture of just such a moment; I love the internal rhyme of “slide” and “ice”, the enjambment of “two”–and the last line is PERFECT.
*
Question for John–we could technically put a comma after “ice,” but it falls in the middle of a line (rather than at the end)–does it still count as a cutting-word type break? Just wondering…
*
~Autumn
Autumn,
Yes, that would constitute a break. But I am trying to impart information here without harping on it. If we were writing for a competition, or even for publication somewhere else, I might want to do more than mention these things. As it is, my primary objective is fun, with education being the immediate second objective.
.
Patricia is a renku leader in her own right and each of us has different aspects of renku that we wish to emphasize. There are so many to choose from. One of my goals for this entire series is to present a number of different renku leaders and the differing focus each of us brings. The thing I am personally interesting in imparting (after “first is has to be fun”) is that a renku is not a haiku sequence. The verse that resembles a haiku, as we practice haiku in English, is only the first verse (the hokku). And one of the things that makes that so is the fact that it, and only it, has a cut within it. Since almost everyone who comes to English-language renku comes to it through English-language haiku, it can take some reminders for haiku poets to forgo the cut or break in verses after the hokku.
Thank you for all of this, John. I think your emphasis on the fun is what has pulled me in and piqued my interest in a form I had previously avoided–much appreciated! It has also given a long-sought jump-start to my somewhat stalled creative impulse–even more appreciated!!
*
Because I am so new to renku, I am in the “learn the rules” phase; I know from experience with other forms how important it is to do this first, in order to be able to break them well later! 😀
*
I love Patricia’s slippery verse–it has great rhythm, and the giggles are contagious. Because she is the consummate haiku poet, I figured of all people, Patricia might know where the wiggle room was regarding sneaking a break in here or there. So I just wanted to clarify for my own edification.
*
I don’t mean to be running with scissors here…:D
*
~Autumn
making up
with a kiss
after our snowball fight
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
skating
hand in hand
over thick ice
*
Congratulations Autumn.
Thank you John for including one of mine in your write up.
Congratulations all, I enjoyed reading everyone’s and found the many journeys interesting .
.
Tawny Jacket
.
autumn leaves
she sets out in
her tawny jacket
.
Andrew Shimield
.
the still-warm hollow
where the deer slept
.
Kristen Lindquist
.
cigar smoke
lingers
in the empty room
.
Pauline O’Carolan
.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
.
wonderful poem selection….John and gorgeous creation autumn!
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
.
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
heart reverbs
under a mistletoe
kiss
.
wendy c. bialek
Thank you so much, Wendy!
*
I like the classic image here–who doesn’t want to be kissed under the mistletoe?! I hope you won’t mind my sharing a notion here: what would happen if you replaced the double syllabled “reverbs” with something shorter, like “skips?” I couldn’t help thinking about all those “sss” sounds sizzling through the lines, and how the read-aloud rhythm would mimic the heart skipping-a-beat. It also might lighten the mood of the verse, as “reverbs” conveys a sense of heavier vibrations (think wobble bass in dub step).
*
It’s your kiss–you decide!!!
*
~Autumn
hi autumn,
not sure this poem even qualifies for this renku…since john said he wouldn’t be taking things that are christmasy for winter season word….since it is not universal.
*
but here are more versions: for you to entertain….( know you must be super snowed in by now & have much time on your hands)
to connect to the music:
*
hearts sync
under a mistletoe
kiss
.
wendy c. bialek
*
hearts spin
under a mistletoe
kiss
.
wendy c. bialek
*
to connect to the winged ones:
hearts fly
under a mistletoe
kiss
.
wendy c. bialek
and
hearts flutter
under a mistletoe
kiss
.
wendy c. bialek
*
hearts flare
under a mistletoe
kiss
.
wendy c. bialek
*
hearts flirt
under a mistletoe
kiss
.
wendy c. bialek
heart skips
under a mistletoe
kiss
.
wendy c. bialek and autumn collab
and not to skip out on this….marv. collab.
HI, Wendy! It is indeed snowy here tonight, so your heart-warming offerings are just the thing! I particularly like “hearts flirt” and “hearts flare.” Isn’t is something the difference one little word shift can make in the sound and mood and meaning? I also like the phrase you used to introduce your second connection: winged ones. How else might that one fly? 😀
*
Thanks for the nod to the “collab”–so fun to write with you here!
*
~Autumn
brushing
the first snow
from your silken hair
.
.
brushing
our first snow
from your silken hair
This is a beautiful image, Maureen. I always admire motion in poetry, and you have captured both the falling snow and tender hand movement here. I very much like the way “our” in the second iteration conveys the sense of sentimental possessiveness we have for those “firsts” in any intimate relationship (first romantic kiss, first baby steps). I also like how tactile your verse is–I can feel the snow on my face and the hand in my hair. Lovely.
*
~Autumn
Hi, Autumn! Thank you so very much for your kind words. I sincerely appreciate your thoughtfulness. So glad it touched you. Your verse is most inspiring. Take care, and happy writing!
stealing a kiss
from you
on the ski lift
wonderful poem selection….John and gorgeous creation autumn!
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
heart reverbs
after mistletoe
kiss
wendy c. bialek
congratulations, Autumn–a love-ly verse.
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
*
looking in
at the tree
stranded in lights
*
hands and hearts
warm
with mulled wine
*
Congratulations, Autumn! Such a beautiful verse. An excellent setup for the love verses, John.
.
.
your devilish grin
as you make
another snowball
moonlit sleigh ride
he removes her glove
to slip on a ring
Wow, John–I was not expecting such a lovely wake-up surprise this morning! Thank you so much for including my seraphim verse in our renku. With so many amazing possibilities among the contributions this time, I am very honored that mine was chosen.
*
I am actually glad that you dropped “the,” as I was wondering about articles piling up. I wrote it that way just to follow suit. But I think the verse is stronger and more ethereal without it. Thank you for that astute edit!
*
There are a number of glass armonica videos available on YouTube, for anyone unfamiliar with this astounding instrument. I had in mind the spinning bowl version invented by Benjamin Franklin. But there are other versions that use wine glasses. There is even one video of a Philip Glass duet that features both types. The sound is quite haunting, and at one time was thought to drive people insane.
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I can’t wait to see how everyone will connect to that sound!
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Many thanks and congratulations to all the other favorites this round!
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~Autumn
a beautiful verse, Autumn, and wow, that is a fascinating instrument!
isn’t it great that one can have fun and learn new things while participating in a renku composition! 🙂
Thank you, Polona! Isn’t that armonica sound otherworldly?! And YES, it is amazing to be able to participate and learn on so many different level–and from so many fantastic poets all over the world. Best Christmas gift EVER!
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~Autumn
you have a lovely two liner Autumn. Wonderful feel and images. Glad to be reading it
Thank you for your kind words, Pratima.
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Your “kissing a cold fish” offering above makes me curious–is that a literal tradition? If so, I’d never heard its like before! I was thinking that “cold fish” can also have the double-meaning of someone (usually a woman) who is neither receptive nor prone to sensual/sexual expression; it’s another way of saying “frigid.” I was wondering whether you used it intending this innuendo?
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~Autumn
hi Autumn, yes for the innuendo, the gender is left out, …
her snow angel
raising
his two red balloons
Macheros Honeymoon
hiking beneath a sky
full of orange wings
Hummm. Maybe not. Orange (leaves and autumn)