The Renku Sessions: Tawny Jacket – Week 11
I am John Stevenson and I will be your guide for a twelve-verse renku, in which we will compose one verse per week until completion. A longer session, with a different leader, is being planned to follow this one.
I hope you are having as much fun as I am. This week we generated two-hundred-twenty-seven offers, from thirty-three poets. For instance:
removing more mounted
Confederate brass
Laurie Greer
honed to perfection
the ghurka’s dagger
Robert Kingston
Lyft driver making an illegal
U-turn
Laurie Greer
a mug
only a mother could love
Autumn Noelle Hall
as investors pump
millions into bitcoins
Betty Shropshire
General George Patton
Museum of Leadership rules!
Betty Shropshire
changing my money
for Canadian dollars
Kristen Lindquist
all the economical truths
in the carpetbagger’s talk
Pratima Balabhadrapathruni
like a thousand pound weight
hanging from the coccyx bone
Michael Henry Lee
thrown for a loop
by the chain of events
Laurie Greer
twenty-one guns
confiscated by police
Maureen Virchau
Migrant Child
by Banksy
Polona Oblak
dizzily spinning
the greeting card racks
Laurie Greer
communion cup raised
by the parish priest
Pauline O’Carolan
the family hurriedly packs
to leave Taal’s shadow
Debbie Scheving
a loaded question
from the back row
Maureen Virchau
thank God I’ve lived, worked
and loved in shithole countries
Dan Campbell
Kavanaugh confirmed
as the life of his party
Laurie Greer
a borrowed quarter used
on the scratch-off card
Terri French
clockwise or anti-clockwise
Down Under?
Marietta McGregor
no 12-step for kicking
the fossil fuel habit
Laurie Greer
irrational exuberance
for a housing bubble
Mary Stevens
hot tub
with a mountain view
Agnes Eva Savich
she rides the carousel
with help from dad
John S. Green
bombastic tweets aimed
everywhere and nowhere
Mary Kendall
Our tenth verse is:
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
This is the truth of a sober mind. A person under the influence of alcohol may find it harder to aim but easier to pull the trigger. The new verse links to its predecessor in many possible ways. What comes to mind for me is that the game of horseshoes, like other “aiming” games and sports is a playful version of warfare. It’s the human equivalent of the play of lion cubs as preparation for adult killing. Then, there is just the link of metal working, producing both swords and plowshares.
For our eleventh verse, these will be the requirements/considerations:
- a three-line, spring blossom verse
- connecting in some way to the tenth verse and in no obvious way to any of the previous verses
- transforming our sense of the tenth verse
Note: In Japanese renku, the blossom verse usually features cherry blossoms (sakura). This is so much the case there that simply saying blossom (hana) is understood to mean cherry blossom unless otherwise specified. For our English-language renku, we can feature any kind of prominent spring blossom.
Our renku, so far:
Tawny Jacket
autumn leaves
she sets out in
her tawny jacket
Andrew Shimield
the still-warm hollow
where the deer slept
Kristen Lindquist
cigar smoke
lingers
in the empty room
Pauline O’Carolan
seraphim song
of a glass armonica
Autumn Noelle Hall
ice-skating
with my hunka hunka
burning love
Lorin Ford
a kiss for luck
at the STD clinic
Maureen Virchau
rediscovery
of the starry night toad
after all this time
Linda Weir
summer day moon
almost there
Wendy C. Bialek
the horseshoe player
chugs the rest
of his beer
Patrick Sweeney
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
Please enter your verse offers in the comments box, below. I will be reviewing these offers until midnight on Tuesday, January 28 (New York time zone). On Thursday, January 30, there will be a new posting containing my selection for our eleventh verse, some discussion of other appreciated offers, and instructions for composing the twelfth and final verse.
I look forward to seeing your offers!
John
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or
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
shaking the picnic rug
free of cherry blossoms
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
shaking the blanket
free from cherry blossoms
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
,
M. R. Defibaugh
.
fallen blossoms
rush along the gutters
to the iron grate
the little boy’s
palmful of blossoms
blows away
Late once again, so here are my last two:
.
.
in a spider web
one last blossom
caught fast
.
.
the whisper
of plum blossom
in half-light
blossoms drift
& scatter
in a pink sea
.
.
first in flight
and cherry blossoms
go where they may
camera poised
for that perfect shot
of Lilly of the Valley
a new mower spews
dandelion and daisy heads
left and right
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
(M. R. Defibaugh)
.
.
crab apple blossoms
strewn across my car
on a rainy morning
What a perfect verse, M. R. Defibaugh! Congratulations!
.
snowdrops pop
out of their icy bed
in the afternoon melt
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
~ M. R. Defibaugh
*
shooting blossoms
we compared the cost
of our cameras
Revised:
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
~ M. R. Defibaugh
*
shooting blossoms
we compare the cost
of our cameras
~ Kanchan Chatterjee
the ladybird
dangles on the stem
of a poppy
la coccinella
si dondola sullo stelo
di un papavero
****************************
on my wrist
a bracelet of wildflowers
and blades of grass
sul mio polso
un braccialetto di fiori di campo
e fili d’erba
****************************
wind and bees
on the yellow corollas
of dandelion
vento e api
sulle corolle gialle
di tarassaco
the dogs ball
comes up smelling
of cherries
taking the ball
before the dog
sweet cherry blossom
Poor tulips are
just like me, they all expire
before they retire
###
I have to retire from my current job in a couple of months and got a call today from an organization that wants to hire me when I retire. That made me feel great because I really don’t want to retire. I love writing and playing the banjo but not all freaking day.
hang in there! And there’s always volunteering. In a perfect world, everyone would work part time (and write and play the rest of the time).
if only
I could touch them,
cherry blossoms….
se solo
potessi toccarli,
i fiori di ciliegio…..
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
Dungeness crabs
in their softening shells of eelgrass
and plastic
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
a wet sidewalk
divides the rise
of daffodils
Tulip bulb
soup is delicious if
you’re starving
####
Just read an interesting article about the Dutch resistance movement against the Nazis. During the 1944 Hunger Winter, the movement handed out tulip bulb soup recipes, the bulbs are high in carbohydrates.
another great idea!
After reading that “Cuban women transferred messages to men on the front line during the battles of independence using [mariposa] flowers … ” https://www.cubaunbound.com/flora
***
the messages
shared among
mariposa blossoms
Enjoyed your renku and the article, thanks!
great ideas
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
weeping forsythia
known
for its toughness
*
Forsythia suspensa
so tough
it can weep
*
OR
Forsythia suspensa
tough enough
to weep
*
even the bindweed
turn their backs
on pow
*
wendy c. bialek
Thanks, I had to google bindweed and learned a lot about bindweed as well as morning glories!
technically morning glories are associated with autumn as sajiki….and bindweed is considered summer….but these more wild forms in certain areas can be seen all year round.
where i live…morning glories are blooming in summer and can survive into nov. we get lovely wild morning glories in the spring and they have blue flowers….they all are climbers, and attach themselves to anything using tendrils.
bindweed
locks the gates
of child refugees
.
wendy c. bialek
Chiyo-ni with a twist! Interesting, Wendy.
Glad you were reminded of her famous poem…lorin….
i do love her work, too and her life story. though i didn’t have her poem of the well bucket/morning glory in mind when i wrote this…i have had years of growing morning glory, and studying bindweed…..to write thousands of poems about them….first hand.
surrounded
by a slew of
scarlet hedgehogs
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
coming up roses
the outsider wins
at sumo
.
the sumo winner
in a puddle
of roses
Or
sumo outsider
showers
in roses
or maybe-
,
sumo outsider
in a shower
of roses
Referring to his tearsCarol?
No, not his tears, but jubilation, as the favourite isn’t always the winner 🙂
And doesn’t the crowd often love to see the underdog coming up on top.
.
Was going to say, trumps, but thought better of it 🙂
I would just say: the sumo wrestler…am I missing something in the usage of – outsider ?
Hi Pratima
In the news they talk of an outsider winning this year’s championship.
This reflect two ways.
Firstly it is quite rare for a lower ranking wrestler to beat those in the higher league.
Secondly this is a man that comes from the west of Japan, a region that last won the Emperor’s cup a century ago.
Oh, okay, ty for helping me understand
If you look up the meaning of, long shot, you may see what, Robert is trying to portray within his words, Pratima.
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
a galaxy
of magnolias overwhelm
the death Star
.
a battle
of pinks enter
the clone war
Or
a flurry
of pinks enter
the clone war
stone walls
covered
with bindweed blossom
I like it!
Thanks, Robert. A persistent weed that needs controlling, but I think the colours and shapes as they grow are beautiful, a great botanical subject to paint.
perhaps a few
pansies to top off our
pièce de résistance?
– Betty Shropshire
🙂 Very nice, Betty. Or violets? They’re edible. Often candied in the Victorian Age. (Though you’d lose the alliteration of the pansies & the pièce…)
Thanks, Lorin! 😊
I do like violets, too…adds a color as well…
somehow those pansies do work for our
pièce de résistance!
oops!
•
somehow those pansies
do work for our
pièce de résistance!
V.nice Betty
Hell’s filled with people
who left plastic tulips
on their momma’s grave
Poems praise dogs and tulips
but I applaud goats and weeds
when nobody’s watching
game’s up on Fortnite
with no heed
to dogwoods
Despite such short lives
tulips see more perfect days
than a snowman
Works for me Dan
Thanks Robert!
a spray of mist
to keep the first tulips
fresh
a honeybee hones in
on the best bloom
of lavender
.
the lavender bloom bows
under the weight
of a bee
with a flourish
the magician produces
a blizzard of blossoms
.
with a flourish
the magician conjures up
a blossom blizzard
.
moving stage right
the magician conjures up
a blossom storm
in the photo
a pagoda floats in a sea
of blossom
this view
with its weeping cherry trees
painfully beautiful
.
this vista
with its weeping cherry trees
too painful to behold
.
so beautiful
these weeping cherry trees
are almost painful to see
I think that first one needs a verb, otherwise there is a cut?
.
this view
with its weeping cherry trees
is painfully beautiful
from the bridge
near the shrine
a good shot of Fujisan
🙂 I like this one, of yours above, Marion.
Me too!
Lovely image!
Thank you, Robert. I was inspired by these photographs. https://www.japan-guide.com/e/e6920.html
Fabulous link Marion!
I recall a block print by Hokusai that captures Mount Fuji from beneath a cherry in blossom. I did look for it among the prints used for the Bristol Museum exhibition held in 2019. Unfortunately I could not find it.
Thank you, Lorin. I was looking at some lovely views of Fuji in spring when I wrote the last few.
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
remnants of winter
swept with a fresh layer
of blossom
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
***
even
the evening bloom
emits a fragrance
I love it! Very subtle link with the previous verse. Bravo!
.
the charismatic tongue
at great length
in a blossom blizzard
.
oh the lizard 🙂
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
pitcher plants
outdone
by the webbonry of spiders
*
https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/wilderness-resources/blogs/carolina-bays-enduring-mystery-book?utm_source=Weekly+Newsletter&utm_campaign=cc0570891b-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_MON0127_2020&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_fcbff2e256-cc0570891b-42609233
Thanks Laurie for sharing the fascinating article, I enjoyed reading about pocosins, swamps on a hill!
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
The petals fall hard
on the metal coffin cover
sent it will not return
nicholas….this is an interesting and deep, three line poem
++++++++
but may have too much information for renku verse.
i would leave off the last line and make two lines from line two.
Thank you Wendy.
I am new at this and will hone my verse.
you have great talent….just keep it to one sentance….no breaks.
typo correction sentence…not sentance….
i know it takes getting used to…..the verse is not supposed to be a completed poem by itself….it is completed by the verse above it.
bloodroot in bloom
at the woods edge
his thoughts closely guarded
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
happily shelling out
too much
for imported tulips
*
spearwort
steals the show
as the motorcade passes
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
daffodils leading
the charge
against Fusilade
*
his scattergun approach
comes to light
with the first tulips
.
the blooming tulips
reveal my husband’s
scattergun approach
When it comes to help in the garden, Marion, never look a gift horse… 🙂
Hahaha indeed, Carol 😄
blossoms scattered
across the Mourne foothills
by a breeze from the lough
under a cherry tree
a thousand things
come to mind
A lovely reflective verse.
Thank you, Carol. It’s with a nod to this haiku of Bashō …
.
Sama zama no
koto omoi-idasu
sakura kana
.
Many, many
things come to mind,
cherry blossoms!
The simplest of words, yet so effective.
Yes, Carol. I found the article on this blog inspiring. http://www.writersinkyoto.com/2016/12/basho-on-haiku-17-statements/
Thanks for that link, Marion. I’ve read a few lines during my coffee break, and will read further.
Paragraph 8, wonderfully true 🙂
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
* *
with careful choice
the cuckoo makes a nest
this caring mother
oh yes, 🙂
for whatever it is worth:
The mango is the first to blossom in semitropical and tropical lands … the blooms blossom and the smell like raw mango
the cuckoo goes into a tizzy when the mango blossoms, it sings itself hoarse
—
mango blossoms
bring out the Cacofonix
in every koel
Pratima, I wonder why you call the koel “the cuckoo” (though it is a cuckoo, of course) in your prose but use its name in your verse?
.
To those unfamiliar with koels: the males of this species have a call that makes them extremely popular with people who like to be woken up at 5am and unpopular with the rest of us.
Lorin, because I want this to be one small world, Cacofonix is from Asterix and a Gaul…and Koel is Indian. Is that not a nice medley?
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
bees
ferry refugees
from wildfire
oh,
tickling
the hairy corona of a
lavender passion flower
*
lavender passion flowers
feverishly climb
the hanging trellis
.
wendy c. bialek
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
bluebells
in each movement
of the waitresses pen
.
https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=2ahUKEwij3-7-8aLnAhWWUhUIHdO6BYgQFjAAegQIAxAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FThe_Waitresses&usg=AOvVaw14iwJ8SsA0mM-fx9ZQkU1-
silence
through the cutting
of bluebells
.
the sound
of silence
in bluebell wood
I like the second verse, Robert. apart from the birds, that’s how bluebell woods should be,
left in peace.
Thanks Carol.
Sadly fewer birds are returning.
That is sad, Robert, they tend to take residence where their food source is in plentiful supply, some years there’s plenty, other years, not.
Hope they’ll be back, one day.
I did not see the link but the poem reads wonderful
Hi Pratima
Please consider, movement.
Yes I did Robert. And it works, I like this bluebells verse very much…
Thank you Pratima
Spring’s first tulips
often cause me to whisper
hallelujah
Resubmitting, after doing away with the ‘silent’ break in my verse –
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
~ M. R. Defibaugh
*
stopping midway
grandpa points at the blossoms
with his stick
~ Kanchan Chatterjee
the fleet
in its whites
kissing shore
good morning or bad mourning, ya all?
*
the smell of microwave
blackened waffle replaces
kitchen hyacinth
.
wendy c. bialek
this goes back to “lingering cigar smoke”
sad news….the very bad loss of koby bryant….and unknown traveling buddies.
Kobe Bryant, is it, Wendy? And his 13 year old daughter also one of the dead.
.
https://nypost.com/2020/01/26/kobe-bryant-reportedly-killed-in-california-helicopter-crash/
yes/sorry i typed that incorrectly it should be… kobe bryant…..
thank you lorin for pointing this out!
vignettes of snowdrops
emerge
with a verdant blush
revise-
,
vignette of snowdrops
emerge
with a verdant blush
Very nice Carol.
Thanks, Robert, I’m glad you see my intent with this verse, we live in difficult times.
Writers know
how a tulip bulb
must feel
dan…I would guess some know. i would like to believe so….but some may be:
too “wrapped-up”
in themselves to
commune with a bulb
.
wendy c. bialek
True indeed Wendy, I have always wondered about the mysterious events that occur in bulbs and cocoons. Hope you are having a great weekend.
i plan to roll myself up in a blanket and have some significant rem sleep and solve the world’s problems with automatic poetry which i hopefully will wake myself up to write down before it dissipates into thin air.
i will become one
with the bulb
and know its secrets
enjoy yours, too! dan!
in which season Dan? All seasons?
My dear darling wife
used our wedding lilies and daisies
for my funeral
this is so sad, dan! perhaps you can place that in a note dangling from a coffin or bottle?
Good idea Wendy, gracias!
i don’t often speak to the dead….that is….online…..but i make exceptions for you, dan.
thank you, dan
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
the fragrant mercies
of the tulip
magnolia
*
the double-edged beauty
of the umbrella
magnolia
*
lily of the valley
out of line
with the landscaping
*
crocus tips drawing us
within range
of spring
*
blossoms cover
the old bark
of a bonsai
– Betty Shropshire
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
taking too much pride
in a dandelion-free
lawn
*
showing no mercy
where dandelions
are concerned
*
ephemerals retreating
as the canopy
closes
*
parades
of tulips
in full regalia
*
laurie…..
.
taking too much pride
in a dandelion-free
lawn
*
this i can relate to very well.
*
knowing i wanted to plant organic in my garden…
years ago….i took back my deposit on a house in NY,
when i found out that the neighbouring house
used the cancer-causing round-up to kill what
they didn’t want growing out of their precious, green lawn.
Yes–it goes on. I’m battling right now with my building over spraying Fusilade; I want to get a pollinator garden going, but not if I’m inviting the monarchs in to drop dead. Most of the ingredients of that stuff are unnamed “inactive” chemicals–not the same as safe–yet people are OK with that!! I’d rather have the “weeds.”
i sure hope you are successful in your plight, laurie.
these chemicals are hideous. they all should be banned…and people need to educate themselves on the natural repellents….that don’t mess with ecosystems and ground waters, lung and skin cancers, etc. Don’t give up the good fight.
soft petals
of plum blossoms
carried on a breeze
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
easy to
miss the subtle charms
of the snakeroot
*
learning to draw
by sketching
narcissus
*
apple trees
sending out leaves
before blossoms
*
purple hearts
of lilacs
swell in the sun
*
the scent
of apple
in the blossom
the lilacs
so much brighter
on a foggy day
another
pollen-laden bumblebee
brushes the pistils
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
~ M. R. Defibaugh
*
morning walk . . .
grandpa points at the blossoms
with his stick
~ Kanchan Chatterjee
Sorry, I put a ‘Kireji’ in my verse. Resubmitted:
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
~ M. R. Defibaugh
*
morning walk
grandpa points at the blossoms
with his stick
~ Kanchan Chatterjee
lovely poem kanchan,
.
however you still have not removed the (silent) break
(which here is the end of phrase or line break)
at the end of L1.
And this verse in my opinion is too good to let it get disqualified.
Thanks a lot Wendy!
I’ve corrected and resubmitted it.
🙂
take it easy Sirji
Kanchan, the cut or break (kire in Japanese) in your verse above still remains even though you have disposed of the cut marker (kireji). One example of a 3-line renku verse using your content would be:
.
grandpa
points at the blossoms
with his stick
or/and :
*
grandpa
points at the blossoms
with his walking stick
That could have a connection to the hokku, Wendy, with the mention of walking stick?
carol…i see what you mean…..but that call is up to john.
in the hokku….their is no specific mention of method of travel…..i don’t know if that makes a difference….i would like to here from john to clarify this…..
correction:
there not their
My chapels,
maple forests, meadows
of lilies
may blossom
peppered through
the bride’s bouquet
revise
.
brides bouquet
peppered through
with may blossom
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
soft tissues for all
at the Chinese
plum festival
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
one petal
at a time
from the daisy clock
first blossom in Kyoto
and Japanese girls
shooting with iPhones
the zoom
of a hummingbird while
time-lapsing mimosa
.
wendy c. bialek
oh yes, don’t you love those time-lapse videos…
i do! pratima, and what i love the most is that the mimosa tree and hummingbird happened on my lawn….in front of my eyes.
thanks for enjoying the reading of this wonderful eye and ear event.
on the very edge
of levelling bluebell wood
they count the votes
My crocus shy
Sweet invitation to
Dance
working on
your obituary outside
a crazy crabapple choir
*
putting memories to rest
amongst the
peach blossoms
*
your yellow ensemble
always
the narcissus
*
magnolias laden
the air with our make-up
sex
I enjoyed reading these Nancy, thanks!
thanks Dan – am enjoying this challenge as usual – writers love writing don’t we? 😀
nancy, these i find charming.
*
the last one which i love the most…i’m wondering, might not work for any renku verse..
*
???? maybe cause love and blossom verses may not be inclusive…..i wonder….can john clarify this for me ??????
In longer renku, there are often seasonal love verses. But in this shore renku, there are only two love verses and we have already selected them.
However, I don’t recall ever seeing a renku format that called for the topics of love and blossoms in a single verse.
thank you, john.
in the formats i’ve read about, and lists….i hadn’t either.
the moving finger
pokes at rhododendrons
and moves on
.
azaleas in bloom
beyond the reach of bards’
bejewelled fingers
.
shadows
of spring mist
along the pathway
Cherry blossoms,
an oasis in the desert of
Washington DC
###
My family and I look forward each year to seeing these along the Tidal Basin, thank you Japan.
Hi, Dan–
In fact, there are cherry trees all over the place here, in the city and surrounding ‘burbs. Some of the best are off the beaten path and fairly crowd-free. Glad you enjoy the festival!
Thanks Laurie! I really enjoy watching the cherry blossoms fall along the W&O bike trail, they look like a snowfall!
the suchness
of a blossom haze
in Fukushima
– Betty Shropshire
this new camera
zooms to make a small blossom
fill the shot
such tranquility
as blossoms peak
in Fukushima!
– Betty Shropshire
Nice, Betty!
😊 Thanks!
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
***
a hermit crab climbs
over the blooming breasts
of a passed out student
um, John . . . I don’t think “blooming breasts” count as flowers or blossom. 🙂
Lorin, can you imagine if they were tattooed with flower blossoms?????
Yes, Wendy, I can. 🙂 (Yikes!) But whatever John (the author of this verse) intends us to imagine, “blooming breasts” is metaphorical. Human breasts do not literally sprout flowers or blossoms in spring (though it wouldn’t surprise me to find a Dali-esque painting of such) For a renku, a blossom/ flower verse needs to refer to a literal blossom or flower.
.
yes, this is the strictest interp. of the rule…….true…lorin….i was having visual fun pushing the envelop with it!
*
now….may i tap you to see how you would react to the reflection of a moon in say….water…..would you permit that to be in a moon verse?
yes, I would, Wendy, for the simple reason that there needs to be a moon present for it to be reflected. 🙂 (Same with moonlight: without a moon, there isn’t any.)
.
thanks for allowing moon reflections, lorin….good explanation.
maybe….someday….the “tattooed” flower…with the same reasoning may be accepted for renku blossom verse.
bloodroot depending
on infantries
of ants
*
sealing their pact
with the sap
of a bloodroot
*
Tiny
Tim tiptoed through the
tulips
###
Tiny Tim was an American musician and ukulele player whose most famous song was Tiptoe Through The Tulips
i remember him…..he had long hair…..he wasn’t tiny but his instrument was…..his voice was high-pitched.
Photographs
of Triumph tulips make
snowmen weep
Our beautiful
Begonias in the backyard
Have budding romances
sakura
turns to snow
in a squint
.
wendy c. bialek
baby stroller
stops
by the falling blossoms
.
wendy c. bialek
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
*
ill flower girl
picks an 80 year old
to scatter petals
.
wendy c. bialek
an explosion
of wild daffodils
over the mountain
Very, Wordsworth, Maureen, a lovely vision.
Thanks so much, Carol. I love daffodils. They always remind me of that famous poem. Wishing you a happy day!
Thanks, Maureen, the sun is shining for a change, so, a very happy one.
You also, have a good one.
.
The daffodil is our national emblem along with the leek, we can eat one while admiring the other 🙂
bleeding hearts
quietly tremble
in a puff of air
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
blossoms and their scent
carried on the wind
through the park
*
wind-blown blossom
turning the pathways
pink
*
Both lovely and evocative, imo, Andrew. My favourite is the 2nd one, “windblown blossom”.
.
Well, in American English it’d be “blossoms”, but I don’t think the British, Australian, etc. usage should be a handicap in an international renku. American English does have uncountable nouns, just as we do (e.g. ‘money’) and I’ve not been able to discover why “blossom” isn’t one of them.
Virginia bluebells
Cover the battlefield
at Bull Run
####
Bull Run was the first major battle of the American Civil War, unfortunately my ancestors fought for the losing side. Virginia bluebells are a beautiful Spring wildflower.
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
* *
wind-lifted
a pungent smell of hyacinth
in the bower
Nice use of the sense of smell, Keith.
spring fayre
an empty jar of blossom
for the koala fund
Oh my heart breaks for the koalas who have suffered and died.
.
Speaking of breaks, Robert–I think you should tweak that first line so it doesn’t have a pause at the end.
.
marion
Thank you Marion for your suggestion.
I will give it more thought.
Indeed it is a sad time for the planet and its inhabitants.
a knitted red poppy
for every young life
lost in the field
A sad image, Marietta. Would this count as a spring blossom, I wonder. I associate poppies with late summer but perhaps that’s just here in Ireland?
.
marion
a gentian wreath
like scraps of sky
follows the ashes
I simply love the phrase “scraps of sky”, Marietta, and the blue of gentian’s is so beautiful, but I’m wondering if “wreath” and “ashes” are too symbolic of death and would therefore represent winter rather than spring?
marion
Great verse, Matt. And thought-provoking, obviously leading us in many different directions. Thank you!
…
minature daffodils
planted
with military precision
…
did you see
the photo of a carnation
in the rifle’s barrel?
…
scattergun action
of bees
in the blossom
…
blossom
on the sheet
as she pushed the baby out
…
I can just see those flowerbeds with the daffodils planted with precision, Pauline. 🙂
.
I have been thinking of one using a ‘scattergun approach’ but you beat me to it!
.
marion
Thank you, Marion, and I’m sorry I stole your thunder. However, as your proposed verse was undoubtedly different I think it would be fine to go with it! Pauline
Thanks, Pauline. I’ll try to remember it — it was about my husband and bulbs! 🙂
.
marion
the slow
South to North progress
of the blossom front
🙂 Clearly, that progress is happening on the Northern side of the equator, Marion.
I got it from Googling sakura and hanami, Lorin! The only fronts we follow here in Ireland are those of rain or snow! 🙂
we follow
Tokyo’s blossom front
on TV
petals land
on the peace wall
at dawn
nice read, misleadingly peaceful image
Thank you, Pratima. Whenever I see a reference to guns or shooting I usually think of my student days in Belfast and its peace walls.
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
I predict
Belfast’s first hanami will be
in Botanic Gardens
.
in Belfast
they celebrate hanami
in the botanic gardens
Thank you John for mentioning my Taal volcano contribution.
*
the old tree
produces few cherries
but lovely blossoms
someone on 5th ave.
repairs bleeding hearts
in their easter bonnet
.
wendy c. bialek
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
many selfies
from fields of narcissus
poeticus
.
Perfect!
🙂 🙂 🙂 thanks, Betty. What a pair of cackling witches we’d be if we got together. 🙂
OH, Geez!! We surely would be, indeed! 😜 Betty
Oh!
V.nice!
I like how it goes from a harsh image to a soft one here, Lorin.
Thanks, Pratima, Robert and Marion.
(Marion, I’ve known a few of the species ‘narcissus poeticus’. They used to be particularly prevalent at ‘spoken word’ venues. 🙂
Hahahaha Lorin!
…hang on, they really ARE flowers — aren’t they?! :O
“Miss Kim Korean
Lilac” blossoms
sway to & fro
– Betty Shropshire
jonquil blooms
gently sway
to & fro
– Betty Shropshire
lotus explode
at the feet
of kannon
.
wendy c. bialek
I had to Google ‘kannon’, Wendy– fascinating!
,
“Kannon is a Bodhisattva, which means she has prolonged her own eternal enlightenment to stay behind and help everyone who suffers in this world. Now that’s compassion!”
.
and…
.
“The most distinguished of the Kannon Bodhisattvas holds an unopened lotus in one hand, which represents the Buddha nature in us all, waiting to flower. Her other hand is open ready to rescue her followers.”
,
(From an article in The Japan Times, June 25, 2011)
.
marion
yes, this is fascinating to me too, marion….thank you for taking the time to look this up and post it.
and yes, this is symbolic of compassion.
it has been said of the(se) compassionate being(s):…that where the foot has stepped, it is replaced with a lotus.
Kannon parallels the Chinese version, Kwan Yin, who holds a closed lotus and pours our water into the mouths of baby dragons. This image is the pouring-out of compassion upon the earth.
yes, thanks for chiming in so beautifully, elaine.
Ah, I thought that was Tilda Swinton in the role: Ancient One (Dr Strange)
I meant to write ‘pours out’. 🙁 Geesh!
no blossom
for Mother’s Day
from the hit and run victim
gamecock irises
surround the historical
cannon’s site
wendy c. bialek
*gamecock irises are black in hue
off the scent
a dogs bone
amongst the blossom
a lone daffodil
fighting back
the wind
.
after shock
daffodils at a standstill
in the child’s wake
.
in the firing line
a bunch of white orchids
for the journey
Year after year
My tulips always point
To Amsterdam
Triumph tulips
Ache for the sun even when
They are wilting
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
*
sakura petals
shower the tank’s
windshield
.
wendy c. bialek
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
toddler on the march
through a field
of bird-foot violets
*
lupines erecting
a pollinator
fortress
*
redbud flowers
with the kick
of a lemon
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
a wattlebird’s beak
from floret to floret
of fruity sage
.
http://www.birdsinbackyards.net/species/Anthochaera-carunculata
.
I’ll have a hard time matching my previous week, so I’m just hoping to inspire a few more verses over these last two weeks!
***
these blossoms
are the same but just not
quite the same
***
a child catches blossoms
on a Polaroid
white changing to pink
***
cherry blossoms
becoming pink
on instant film
***
a Polaroid
the girl catching blossoms
immortalized
Thanks again to everyone who has congratulated me on what has been a great start to 2020! It’s undoubtedly a group effort, no matter whose verse is chosen each week. Pratima, I’m good with going by MRD. Sometimes I feel like I’m a research lab anyway lol, and the brevity makes for a decent haiku moniker! M.R. is short for Matthew Ryan, so just Matt is also perfectly fine. With two weeks to go, it’ll be exciting to see where our tawny jacket ends up!
Thank you Matt for your wonderful addition to our tawny jacket renku.
i have enjoyed reading your own commentary on your verse, too.
congratulations on a touching verse.
.
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
*
thank you john, for picking matt’s verse for week ten. love your commentary for his verse.
Mr. Research and Development , it is nice to workshop with you. Keep developing … in other words
a name
blossoms into
a person, warm spring
Salut!
Congrats MRD!
I bought you tulips, dear!
Tell me dear, what have
you done wrong?
after the drizzle
the almond tree
has new shoots
***
paparazzi
shoot at the starlet
in a floral dress
***
the bride’s son offers
a bouquet of daffodils
to the flower girl
I love the shift from guns and the link to paparazzi via shooting, Marina!
.
(BTW I think the term is to “shoot” a subject rather than “shoot at”, but you might be able to use another verb like ‘chase’, ‘follow’ or ‘pursue’, as the reader will automatically see a camera in L1?)
.
marion
Hyacinths
can even cheer up hospitals
and hospices
blowing away
flowery petals of rose–
a whiff of wind
cherry in garden
waiting to pluck- till wedding
bells she hears
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
struck
by the shattering branch
of a Bradford in bloom
*
botanists
rooting against
the callery pears
*
neighbors
at odds
over flowering pear trees
*
slow fragrance
of jasmine spring -feel
of my nostrils
knock not so hastily
on my nose step, plum blossoms
I’m still hibernating
armed with a hoe
my neighbor charges
dandelion flowers
😄
when the magnolia
smells like lemon-verbena
cheers and lemonade
the tremulous smile
of a spring wall flower
… early Kodachrome
Jack-in-the-pulpits
blossom alongside
a babbling brook
– Betty Shropshire
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
locals dodge the festival
for the peace
of wild blossoms
*
the moving
target
of peak cherries
*
single-minded tourists
missing the downtown cherries
for the Tidal Basin spectacle
*
esprit de corps
among sakura viewers
braving the cold wind
*
no esprit de corps
among sakura viewers
looking for parking
*
giving dogwoods
their day
with a weekend parade
*
the bloom
of wild daffodils
along a cliff
by presidential order
we’ll be painting
the roses red
*****************
azaleas
blooming way
before their time
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
blue irises
at half mast
across Europe
Or
blue irises
at half mast
through out Europe
both really good!
Thank you Laurie.
if they’re tulips
we must be
in Amsterdam
**************
bachelor buttons
blooming in the
widows window box
*******************
My mom says
Heaven also has windmills and
Triumph tulips
***
My dad says
No tulips, Hell only has weeds
and cactus
At some point
a bud must ache
to blossom
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
bloom blast
no it’s just my orchid
objecting to movement
Congratulations, M. R. Defibaugh. I like John’s choice of the word “sober” in his description. A quiet, thought-taking verse.
words never fail
a poet after painting
the blossom
regarding botany, blossom are the mass flower of a stone fruit of either a tree or a shrub, so, would I be right in assuming the mention of any ‘spring bloom’ is ok.
stoned fruit, sorry.
I have been told that flowering fruit trees are what is intended but, for our purposes, any spring flower will be considered.
Thank you, John.
I only ask as in a previous session I was very kindly told blossom, only.
Onward 🙂
within the walls
of a secret garden
tulips bud
*
in a side alley
the tulip magnolia
transforms everything
*
tulip buds
on their slender stems
are ready
no room
for the humdinger
at the inn
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
M. R. Defibaugh
.
first spring shot
entered for publication
causes a flap
.
mother duck leads
the cloud breaking
expedition
.
no thought
for the plastic
holding the shot
dew-covered blossoms
on a cherry tree
spared the axe
– Betty Shropshire
cherry blossoms
scattered
by a gust of wind
Detours have
the best views of
wildflowers
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
That is a poem I will remember. I was wondering about the poet’s thoughts and where it took the poet, what the story behind the poem was. Your response helped me understand better.
What is your name? It feels impersonal and cold to call you MRD, like a research lab or something…or what may we address you as…
wild daffodils
in bloom
among the gravestones
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
*
M. R. Defibaugh
*
Congratulations on an OUTSTANDING verse–I love everything about this one: the sound, the active verbs, the thought-provoking sentiment. Even the implications regarding talk versus action are here underneath. So powerful…Great choice, John!! Great offering, M.R.!
*
I see from my office window that my husband has just taken our puppy out, so I’m back on call. But I wanted to say WOW–Laurie Greer–you are on a renku ROLL!! So many fantastic offerings for this 10th verse AND already for the 11th as well!!! Really hoping to be able to come back and offer some more in-depth comments. But for now, YOU GO GIRL!!!
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
*
M. R. Defibaugh
*
bloodstains
Indian Paint Brush’d
on the mountainside
*
~Autumn
Hey, Autumn, thanks for the encouragement! This is what happens when the OCD takes hold. (And slower days at work. Shhhh on that one.)
Good going, yourself!
alternately:
*
bloodstains
Indian Paint Brushing
the mountainside
*
or even:
*
Indian Paint Brush
bloodstaining
the mountainside
*
also:
*
Lilly-o’-the-Valley
ringing the headstone
with fragrant bells
*
pale anemones
shivering
in mountain winds
*
bittersweet truth
blossoming
on the chokecherry tree
*
King Attalus
patiently
tending his Hellebores
*
(King Attalus had a fondness for poisoning, and Hellebores are one of the classic poisons, along with Hemlock, nightshade and aconite. They bloom in the late winter/early spring).
*
~Autumn
Primrose don’t
Speak French in Paris
Virginia
***
Paris, Virginia is a beautiful place to visit and hike if you are ever in the area
‘Harmony’ irises
once again bluer
than the sky
– Betty Shropshire
ummm…nevermind…probably should stay away from sky or color
Tulips are terrific
But I admire wildflowers that
Refuse to grow in rows
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
clover already
loaded
with bees
*
marigolds going in
to keep out
mosquitoes
*
columbine coming back
stronger
each year
*
ten thousand daffodils
sprout along
the margin of a bay
so much depends upon
a wheelbarrow
glazed with blossoms
oh yes, you said it
Hi, Pratima. Thank you for sharing your appreciation. “The Red Wheelbarrow” is one of my favorite poems. Happy reading & writing!
Sobering, Indeed! Well, done!
•
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
-M. R. Defibaugh
•
mother’s irises
in full bloom
beside the water’s edge
– Betty Shropshire
Unlike chauffeured roses
The seed of a weed will hitch
A free ride on your socks
Congrats MR Defibaugh and thanks John for the thoughtful intro to the next verse.
#####
Some water daffodils
But I like to water the weeds
In my neighbor’s garden
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
bulbs calibrated
to go off
en masse
*
Tombstone
Lady Banksia
blooming for Easter
*
Interesting choice with lots of potential! Well done.
.
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
you wouldn’t say
a butterfly zeroes in
on lavender
.
Nice vs mrb *********** volunteer petunias of the Hispanic persuasion *************. amaryllis blooms popping up seemingly overnight. **************** bachelor buttons pushing off from the young man’s lapel
well, as some of you might have guessed my cell phone reformatted this entry; sorry here’s the corrected version with a few minor changes, and again nice verse M.R.B.
************************************************
volunteer petunias
of the Hispanic
variety
***************
amaryllis blooms
pop up seemingly
overnight
*********************
bachelor buttons
pushing off from
the young man’s lapel
At some point
A bud must ache
to blossom
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
tidal basin patrol
hauling tourists
out of cherry trees
*
a shot
of Lincoln’s Memorial
through blossoming cherries
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
(Great link!)
after two days
not leaving a trace—
bloodroot blossoms
Or
Easter morning
the Judas tree
in full bloom
Butterflies
Never have
A flight plan
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
.
pushing the cart
with an apple tree
to take home
.
unboxing plastic
cherry blossoms
from last year’s festival
John, thanks for inclusion! It’s an honor to be included in your session, and I appreciate the thought put into your selections each week. It maybe helps that I’ve witnessed inebriated horseshoe throwing. Still, something from what I think was a Vietnam documentary also came to mind, a solider talking about how some of the young men died because they couldn’t shoot another human being even in the heat of battle. I also think of how war is so much easier to begin than execute, as we have seen for years in the middle east now. I can envision some soldiers throwing horseshoes to pass the time on some base in Iraq or Afghanistan. I’m looking forward to seeing what these final two weeks bring!
Thank so much for explaining your inspiration for this verse, Matt. And well done.
.
Thanks to John also for great selection of verses and commentary.
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
*
M. R. Defibaugh
*
first shoot
of a daffodil
hitting the mark
*
wow
reflections of blossom
plays on the wet
city streets
.
cherry blossom
festival
in a concrete jungle
Congratulations
M. R. Defibaugh
Nice selection John.
.
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
plum blossom
in his anniversary
lunch box
that plum
at the bend of the river
has just started to bloom
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
picking off
the sakura
blossom by blossom
*
or–
sakura falling
as the wind
picks them off
*
every hair
of a pasque flower
through the macro lens
.
again, not quite appropriate for the finale where things should run rapidly and smoothly (how many of you know exactly what a pasque flower looks like?) but i couldn’t resist 🙂
Used to have these in my garden. Wouldn’t want to be counting…
🙂
I know EXACTLY what a Pasque flower looks like, Polona! They are the first to bloom here on Pikes Peak each Spring. Usually, their opening is timed perfectly to coincide with our hummingbirds’ arrivals. But the climate crisis has thrown off the timing, such that they’ve been missing one another the past two years. Imagining that might have much to do with the marked decline in hummingbirds…alas. All things connected, each toppled in turn.
*
As a photographer, I particularly appreciate this up-close-and-personal view, as well as the way “hair” relates to trigger (hair trigger) and the way we “shoot” photographs. Very clever!
*
Autumn
thank you, Autumn.
it’s unfortunate how the climate change affects wildlife and the long-established relationships between species
view of
Mt.Fuji framed
with cherry blossom(s)
.
*in UK E blossom is a plural noun
.
i wouldn’t normally use a proper noun in the penultimate verse but Fujisan is an icon and this composition sorely lacks proper nouns
Congrats, M. R. Defibaugh! Such an evocative verse. It lingers. Thank you, John.
.
.
dandelions
sprout through
a crack in the concrete
This verse was inspired by the words of Mother Teresa-
.
live simply
so others may
view the blossoms
A beautiful sentiment, Carol.
.
marion
Thank you, Marion 🙂
That’s a punchy one, M.R. Congratulations.
Great choice.
Nice work, M.R.!
*
aiming is easier
than pulling the trigger
M. R. Defibaugh
*
the bee’s straight shot
from hive
to honeysuckle
*
no magic bullet
for reviving
the azaleas
*
peacocks competing
with jasmine
narcissus
*