The Renku Sessions: Tan-renga – Week 9
I am selecting this week and this gives me a chance to share some thoughts about what our tan-renga experiences have told me about the nature of the hokku and, therefore to some degree, about haiku.
I have often presented my ideas about how the nature of the hokku has informed our traditional expectations of haiku. We know that both will traditionally have an internal break. We know that both will have a season word or phrase. But there are other aspects of the hokku that have been less influential in forming our traditional idea of haiku. For instance, the hokku frequently reflects in some way the region in which the session is taking place. With more and more modern renku being written by people who are not physically present in a single place – in fact often spread across our planet – this aspect of hokku is no longer something that is expected. The hokku traditionally serves as an indirect compliment to the session’s host. But, again, an internet session does not have the same quality of hospitality that a face-to-face session has.
There is one quality of the hokku that I believe continues to create an expectation for our haiku, even though it is rarely presented as a requirement. Perhaps this is because it cannot be so easily pointed to as a season word or a grammatical break. This is the “open ended” quality of the hokku/haiku.
In my role as a haiku editor, I have often explained to poets who may be new to the genre that haiku are not riddles. They do not have a solution or a single correct answer. If a hokku had such finality, the writer of the next verse would have no choice but to deal with that solution or answer. But a renku opens in a manner akin to an opening montage in a movie, consisting of scenes setting a location and mood, before any of the plot action has taken place. Too much story is generally bad for a hokku and, by extension, for a traditional haiku.
I offer these thoughts, not especially in regard to your offers this week, but as thoughts that have come to me during the same period
Here is my short list of verses from this week’s offerings, with a few comments:
cloud viewing
even the moon
wears a mask
Wendy C. Bialek
This is a moon verse that also covers the topic of “current events.” Since there is no other seasonal reference, we would be required to consider it an autumn verse.
day moon
while waiting in line
for the vaccine
M. R. Defibaugh
Also a “current events” image.
half moon
when we were still
in love
Marion Clarke
And this is a moon verse that also covers the topic of “love.” As with the examples above, we would have to consider this an autumn verse.
thinking of her. . .
birch bark unravels
in the moonlight
Jonathan Alderfer
Perhaps also suggesting love but lightly.
a full summer moon—
we discover ourselves
in the first light
John Daleiden
A summer moon verse. What exactly is it we discover about ourselves? A capping verse could take us anywhere.
skinny-dipping
so many moons
ago
Peggy Hale Bilbro
When we are coming to a moon verse in a renku, I usually stress that we mean the literal moon and its light. This verse mentions “moons” as units of time and, tongue in cheek, as bare bottoms. But it’s hard to imagine this memory without seeing it as moonlit.
some moons
make you unlock
the canary cage
Dan Campbell
This seems like a flat statement. Indeed, unless we imagine the break to occur at the end of line three, it lacks only a period to make it so. But that “statement” is so suggestive of many things that it can hardly be considered “flat” at all.
from a distance
moonstruck
hornet’s nest
Wendy C. Bialek
This verse seems very close to what I said, above, about an establishing montage. It is quiet and yet it foreshadows the potential for frantic activity.
strawberry pie
left to cool
in the moonlight
Laurie Greer
Here is another “montage.” This one stimulates the senses of scent and taste. Note that the sense of scent and, especially, taste tend to involve stimulants that are physically close to us (as does touch) while sight and sound can often involve more distant stimulants.
butterscotch moon
a reflection good enough
to eat
Marion Clarke
And this creates a synesthesia moment – butterscotch being the apparent coloration of the moon and, upon reflection, something our imagination tells us would be good to eat.
Here is what I am offering for capping verses this week. I don’t want to say too much about it. What it invokes in me should not be allowed to cloud your own responses. But it does seem to me that there are multiple avenues here for linkage and a surprising shift.
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
John Hawkhead will be offered the option of choosing our capping verse from among those offered in the coming week. John, please let me know if you are willing to make the next selection. As always, I am ready to make it if you would rather not and ready to consult with you, if you do want to choose.
This week, you are all invited to offer two-line capping verses. They may be either non-seasonal or autumn verses. Note that “owl” is generally considered a winter image but the idea of a cape made of owl feathers is not to be treated as the presence of an actual owl.
Please enter your verses in the comments box, below. John Hawkhead or I will review them until midnight on Monday, March 29 (Eastern US time). On Thursday, April 1, there will be a posting in which John or I will comment on some of the capping verse suggestions and select one of them to complete our latest tan-renga.
Looking forward to seeing your capping verses!
John
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/code-of-conduct/
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witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
shhh! the neighbours mustn’t know
about mother’s secret
.
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
*
she is very graceful
although the fur shawl was not real
Nani Mariani
collapses without making a sound
the weight of roses
crolla senza far rumore
il peso di rose
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhea
*
a blink of the
green man’s eyes
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/29/21
a red glimmer in the
green man’s eye
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/29/21
a gold glimmer in the
green man’s eye
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/29/21
a fiery glimmer in the
gargoyle’s eyes
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/29/21
a solemn chant beneath
the gargoyle’s eyes
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/29/21
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
…
eerie notes
from the glass armonica
the curl of smoke rises
over pirate chests of gold
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
*
unwise for a mother-to-be
to watch rosemary’s baby
3/28/2021 by wendy © bialek
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
*
ah! to be an ornament
on lady gaga’s cake
3/28/2021 by wendy © bialek
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
.
beam me up
old wise one
.
all night listening
to Miles’ Bitches Brew
.
lightning crashes reveal
two embracing lovers
whan Mandrake waves his black wand
we bask beneath waving palms
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
….. and the wind
knows where to go
*
after all
tomorrow is another day
some bridges whisper
and tell you to jump
################
vasectomy
he wakes up alone
#############
cash-strapped nights work
part time as shade
###########
some languages have
dictionaries just for heartbreak
#####################
tadpoles scubadiving
in a rusty can
#######
I pity extraterrestrials
with two hearts
#######
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
tawny mist
unfolding the twilight
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/29/21
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
———John Hawkhead
a raven’s croak
breaks the day
blasting off from Canaveral
we rocket toward Mars
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
.
a spark of fire from
the story teller’s eye
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
***
just now
another twilight
Ivan Gaćina
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
nightcrawlers spiral up
the Alder’s roots
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/29/21
a sprinkle of fairy dust
transforms the dark to light
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
*
in the middle of nowhere
i see seven stars
Nani Mariani
To John S.: I always appreciate learning more about renga/tan-renga. Thank you for your informative commentary.
To John H.: I’m really caught up in the mysterious air of your capping verse. But I tried responding in various ways.
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
the shaman chants
my migraine away
***
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
sunrise reveals
just a sweater on a chair
***
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
it’s going to be
a bumpy night
***
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
dude, sounds like
you’re shrooming
***
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
faint daymoon
hides amid cirrus clouds
under the spell of love
they climb down a ladder
twenty pie baked blackbirds
escape to taunt neighborhoods
I’m in awe of the verse this week.
Since John S. included in his comments that the owl feathers don’t have to be winter, I went for the feel on first read, which was autumn to me.
*
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
*
leaves quiver
in the autumn wind
.
lashes hidden
by a fringe of hair
.
under the pumpkin
a colorless shell
.
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
.
shall we read Castaneda
or watch Polanski?
.
at carnival we dance
through the noisy streets
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
*
every corner
each has its own beauty
Nani Mariani
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
**
confetti
ends a Halloween ball
**
fireworks hide
champagne toasts
**
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
feathered anklet bells
jingling round the campfire
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/28/21
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
jumpin’ in his heart-shaped
glasses and deviled horns
3/28/2021 by wendy © bialek
dancing down Yellow Brick Road
with Dorothy and Tin Man
a black mask protects
me from COVID disease
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
Captain Cat sets sail
in his dreams again
*
captin cat from under milk wood – dylan thomas
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
*
invited guest
or ingredient?
3/28/2021 by wendy © bialek
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
the campfire’s ring of light
only goes so far
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
*
a politician waves
a great cause in a thick envelope
*
a ballet dancer slips
carefully out of her window
*
and a round of cactus juice
on my tab!
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
(John Hawkhead)
*
a naked statue’s cue
to leave the pedestal
*
the unexpected smell
of a fresh fairy ring
*
another child
missing
*
a nun prays
entranced
*
wisely she locks
her door
*
the hooting from the fans
waking her again
.
.
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
.
.
not asking
not telling
.
the wedding ring
left on the hotel sink
.
is cinderella, too
a relic of jim crow?
.
glass slipper
glass ceiling
.
lady lazarus
slated for another tony
.
one problem jeff bezos doesn’t have
is bedhead
.
cargo ships, toupees, and joe biden
also vulnerable to wind gusts
.
operating a crane
is not unskilled labor
.
.
the seashore ebb and flow
reveals a glint of gold
football cheerleaders chant
first and ten, do it again
she gathers bits of down
and threads to line her nest
she gathers bits of down
and threads to line her nest
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
ruffling through costumes
inside attic trunk
3/27/2021 wendy © bialek
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
fluffing through costumes
inside the attic trunk
3/27/2021 wendy © bialek
gypsy moth dust shakes
grandma’s tambourine
3/27/2021 wendy © bialek
does this tambourine
make my hips look big?
3/27/2021 wendy © bialek
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
suddenly the talking
board loses its tongue
3/27/2021 by wendy © bialek
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
finding a door post he relieves
his speech impediment
finding a post he relieves
his speech impediment
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
striking an olive branch
he draws pictures for the maid
two twits can be more
entertaining than one clown
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
dim dim double the toil
and round about the trouble boil
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/27/21
after Shakespeare’s Macbeth Act IV scene 1 witches’ brew
https://poets.org/poem/macbeth-act-iv-scene-i-round-about-cauldron-go
i guess ‘and’ should go on first line unless it can fit on second.
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
dim dim double the trouble
and bubble the boil
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/27/21
after Shakespeare’s Macbeth Act IV scene 1 witches’ brew
from the cathedral censer
the scent drifts to the faithful
the danse macabre pauses
at the fiery gates of Hell
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
moving clouds
the little girl waved
Nani Mariani
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
*
three Wicca novices
winging it
*
the grandeur of tribal elders
standing on ceremony
*
Congrats John, I enjoyed your verse!
*
Robo sapiens don’t miss
having a heart
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
the seventh sister
conceals her face
swaying cockscomb
and autumn sage dreams
3/27/2021 by wendy © bialek
witching hour
the moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkshead
*
followed by an unholy racket
of screeches
*
a glimpse of the dark side
of her white magic
*
a smudge of smoke
to bless the dream catcher
*
Sorry for the inadvertent edits to name and line! Trying to do this on a 4s phone
No problem Laurie – happens all the time 🙂
smudged mascara when
something went bump
3/25/2021 wendy © bialek
in the kitchen
she stirs bone broth
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
———John Hawkhead
a thrush flutes kaddish
from the shadows
stoned and washed
in the heave of the tide
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
.
the story teller warms
her hands at the fire
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
..
John Hawkhead
.
the story teller rubs
the chill from her hands
Congratulations to John Hawkhead.
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
ruffling in the wind
a coyote’s howl
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
I could have sworn
that pumpkin winked
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
the pied piper’s tune
leads the children away
Looks like we don’t have to separate verses with punctuation any longer! 🙂
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
the beaked shadow
of the plague doctor
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
a trail of white pebbles
leads us out of the woods
Well done, John, a fine verse!
.
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
startled by a scarecrow
who decides to dance
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
how many carnival masks
in my chilhood’s memories
the mardi gras of
transcendental highs
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/27/21
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
will there be the same luck …
i knelt in the old church
Nani Mariani
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
that is pretty one
and i decided to marry you
Nani Mariani
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
*
spiders spin the umbra
until it is set in silk.
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/26/21
mermaids dot the sea
with every golden scale
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/26/21
sirens sing darkness
to the shipless ocean
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/26/21
oops didn’t mean to out a period after silk
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
******
the beauty of her baby’s eyes
come into my dreams
Nani Mariani
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
John Hawkhead
Big congratulations dear John !!
Thank you Nani!
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
.
the barn door locked
with a spider’s silk
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
how slyly
love hides its talons
love this Maxianne
thank you, Princess K ☺
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
the hollow of her neck
not the charm it once was
*
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
only a hollowness left
when they’ve packed up the house
*
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
how the night trembles with bangs
and whimpers
*
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
a stray feather in her hair
as she parks the broom
*
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
staring down the long hollow
of the moving van
*
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
———John Hawkhead
blue whales gather
in the treetops
what a lovely view
from the osprey’s talons
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
a trail of lucky charms
leading back to childhood
*
Thank you John for such a wonderful rewarding comments on hokku
*************
bloom of merry song
all through her ice cream stick
***
a movie of choice
her autumnal mood
**
all time curtain
window needs shift
**
idle paper
so much of news hidden
Hi John
I’m ‘over the moon’ on owl feathers to have my entry selected this week. I’d be very happy to work on selections and there are already some very interesting capping verses in the responses. I have responded with an email John – apologies for how long it took (work pressures).
Regards,
John
Good news! I will be available to consult whenever you may wish.
the hooting
of impatient horns
***
his matching trousers
full of magic mushrooms
Congratulations John Hawkhead on an intriguing haiku – will be interesting to read the capping verses submitted.
.
I wanted to clarify one of John Stevenson’s remarks that might be confusing:
.
“In my role as a haiku editor, I have often explained to poets who may be new to the genre that haiku are not riddles .”
.
Many of us who are new to the genre (myself included), are students of Jane Reichhold’s Bare Bones School of Haiku, in order to familiarize with the techniques of writing haiku. One of the techniques that Jane outlines is the riddle technique. Here is what Jane wrote about the riddle technique:
.
The Technique of the Riddle – this is probably one of the very oldest poetical techniques. It has been guessed that early spiritual knowledge was secretly preserved and passed along through riddles. Because poetry, as it is today, is basically the commercialization of religious prayers, incantations, and knowledge, it is no surprise that riddles still form a serious part of poetry’s transmission of ideas.
.
where do they go?
these flowers on a path
by summer’s passing
.
The trick is to state the riddle in as puzzling terms as possible. What can one say that the reader cannot figure out the answer? The more intriguing the set-up and the better the correlation between the images, the better the haiku seems to work. Here, As in anything, you can overextend the joke and lose the reader completely.
Oh, the old masters’ favorite tricks with riddles were “is that a flower falling or is it a butterfly?” or “is that snow on the plum branch or blossoms?” and the all-time favorite – “am I a butterfly dreaming I am a man or a man dreaming I am a butterfly?” Again, if you wish to experiment, you can ask yourself the question: if I saw snow on a branch, what else could it be besides blossoms? Or seeing a butterfly going by you ask yourself what else besides a butterfly could you have caught in the corner of your eye?
.
You can read more of Jane Reichhold’s wisdom at the ahapoetry website: https://www.ahapoetry.com/Bare%20Bones/BBless10.html
Thank you. I needed to be reminded of that.
.
The notes I used to provide to poets usually began with the statement, “No one has the authority to tell you what an English-language haiku should be, especially not me. This is an open question and still in the process of being answered. But since you are, at this moment, offering your poems to me, I can tell you something about what I like in a haiku.”
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
another masked crusader
for justice
*
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
all is aswirl
in the wake of Zorro
*
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
a children’s tune flows
from her lips
Lisbeth Ho©, 3/26/2021
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
another tale
to ease her insomnia
Lisbeth Ho©, 3/26/2021
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
a crimson sun rises
in my window
*
Congratulations to all!
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
unraveling the night
in so many shades of grey
Michelle Beyers
Copyright © 3/25/21
a magic ride from Earth
to the red planet Mars
Congratulation John! And thank you John S. for sharing information and thoughts about hokku !
a leaf floats mid-air
caught in a web
congrats to John Hawkhead for such a fascinating upper part, and thanks to John Stevenson for the thoughts and commentary .. ☺ .. and now to find a lower part ..
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
*
all those sleepless nights
nit-picking in bed
3/25/2021 by wendy © bialek
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
———John Hawkhead
a network of spies
meets for dinner and drinks
the gingerbread house
reopens for business
thank you john s for all that deeper guidance. sharing
and the creative picks and encouraging comments! (honoured that you included
mine, as well)
.
congrats john h for writing an enchanting opener!
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
.
John Hawkhead
*
down on the forest’s floor
where pine crickets simmer
3/25/2021 wendy © bialek
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
what could have been avoided
by following spell-check
*
Thanks for all your thoughts, John! This continues to be a fascinating and ever more complicated project! And thanks also for noticing my strawberry pie.
*
witching hour
moonlight dons a cape
of owl feathers
*
John Hawkhead
*
the swoop of a superhero
flying to the rescue
*