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The Renku Sessions: Tan-renga – Week 7

renku_300

Shelley Baker-Gard is our selector this week. Here is her report:

“As expected, the choosing was difficult due to the many enjoyable entries. Some of the haiku/hokku were particularly appreciated by me because of their humor and because they reminded me of moments or events in my own life. For instance:

Because I once was stopped on a bike path by a fat robin picking up a worm, I laughed when I read Dan Campbell’s:

fat robin
parked on
the bike path

Likewise, I’ve pulled up numerous holly tree sprouts “planted” by birds (probably a fat robin), so Wendy’s verse made perfectly fun sense to me:

something grows
in the garden
planted by a bird

And because coming home to the familiar sounds of feathered friends is comforting, I also loved Laurie Greer’s verse:

welcomed home
with the roosting song
of house finches

Two of the versus reminded me of the poetry of the Japanese masters Matsuo Basho and Kobayashi Issa respectively:

First was Dan Campbell’s beautifully sad haiku which was reminiscent of Basho’s poem on summer grasses swaying over a great samurai battle (many translations):

wildflowers
blooming again
on battlefields

The second was John S Green’s humous self-deprecating haiku that reminded me of Issa’s life as he was frequently engaged with animals and his stepmother had a mean bite towards him and treated him as a fool.

once again
the mama racoon bites me
April Fools’ Day

Many of the entries evoked powerful and immediate images:

This one by Michelle Beyers brings out metaphorical implications with “mirrors” and “sand” – perhaps meaning the person gathering shells is reflecting on the passage of the sands of time.

gathering shells
all i know about
mirrors in this sand

Other examples of wonderful imagery are Ellen Compton’s hokku:

first artichokes
leaf by leaf the light
taste of spring

and Nani Mariani’s

sun
touch the wheat leaves
and farmers

The following poems I thought were particularly great for their openness to multiple linking and shifting directions a capping verse could take, and they all had a spring theme. It was from these that I made a final choice.

spring showers
a vow not to fight
anymore

Radhamani sarma

on the forest floor
hidden from view
a violet

Pauline O’Carolan

overnight rain
the crocus hiding place
exposed

Dana Rapisardi

bud
at first sight
light clings

Guliz Mutlu

the first warm breeze
sets the porch swing
in motion

Laurie Greer

Thank-you all for participating!! After much thought, I have decided to choose Dana Rapisardi’s hokku as our opening verse for the next tan-renga. Her image evoked surprise and a clear picture of a person enjoying the arrival of spring, and at the same time I saw many possibilities for a wide variety of capping verses.”

overnight rain
the crocus hiding place
exposed

 

John speaking again:

Dana Rapisardi will be offered the option of choosing our next capping verse from among those offered in the coming week. Dana, please let me know if you are willing to make the next selection. As always, I am ready to make it if you would rather not and ready to consult with you, if you do want to choose.

This week, you are invited to offer two-line capping verses. They may be either spring or non-seasonal verses but should not be set in a season other than spring.

Please enter your verses in the comments box, below. Dana or I will review them until midnight on Monday, March 15 (Eastern US time). On Thursday, March 18, there will be a posting in which Dana or I will comment on some of the capping verse suggestions and select one of them to complete our latest tan-renga.

Looking forward to seeing your capping verses!

John

 

 

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/code-of-conduct/

This Post Has 82 Comments

  1. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed

    @Dana Rapisardi

    ********
    there is no denying it
    his work is truly amazing

    Nani Mariani

  2. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed

    @Dana Rapisardi

    ********
    unmatched
    she is the beauty queen of the world

    Nani Mariani

  3. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed

    @Dana Rapisardi

    ********
    a pair of birds
    perched on power lines

    Nani Mariani

  4. Hello John Stevenson,
    I have a question. When my haiku is commented on like my:
    .
    once again
    the mama racoon bites me
    April Fools’ Day
    .
    by Shelley, is this considered ‘published’ or my I send it to journals and contests?

    Thanks!
    John

  5. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi

    *
    another garden event
    gone viral

    3/15/2021 by wendy © bialek

  6. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi

    *

    tuning my guitar
    he had me at “G”

    3/09/1982 by wendy © bialek

  7. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed

    @Dana Rapisardi
    ******

    first butterfly
    warm the body under the sunlight

    Nani Mariani

  8. *
    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    a lizard dries up
    over a stone
    *
    a bee quenches its thirst
    on the first flowers
    *
    feet of a child
    on the green grass
    *
    water and soap –
    first games on the grass
    *
    a butterfly
    on chives

  9. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed

    . . . Dana Rapisardi

    a bower bird displays
    blue plastic things
    .
    a bower bird steals
    my blue plastic pegs
    .
    bower bird collects blue
    to decorate his bower

    1. Hi Carole. I’m curious where the bower bird is from, and were those plastic clothespins he stole? Reminds me of crows collecting little treasures. Debbie

  10. melon picnic in the shade
    of a baobab tree
    *
    Swahili
    lullaby
    *
    awakened at dawn
    by an old rooster’s cough

  11. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    caught in a lie
    a shade darker than white
    *
    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    caught in one of her more
    colorful dissemblings
    *

  12. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    ****

    curroption scandal
    make him lose his career

    Nani Mariani

  13. Congrats Dana, and nice job Shelley. So timely here, with the crocuses just in bloom.
    *
    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    Grandma’s painted teacup
    rattles on the saucer
    .
    cheered by the sun
    on the window glass
    .
    a lavender scarf
    for Easter morning

  14. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    ———Dana Rapisardi

    her dress
    falls to the floor

    sunken ground reveals
    an ancient roadway

    the ginger root
    pirouettes with a scallion

  15. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed

    Dana Rapisardi
    ****
    all is visible

    the hole is still open

    Nani Mariani

  16. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    a kitten turns up with the last
    of the lost mittens
    *

  17. salmon swimming
    in an eagle’s claws
    *
    Born in the USA
    swirling through the jukebox
    *
    wolves still howling
    at last night’s moon
    *
    I gladly crow
    when the rooster’s sick

  18. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed

    Dana Rapisardi

    #####

    phone flowers
    untouched by thunderstorms

    #####

    steaming asphalt
    a cat drinks from a puddle

    #####

    the homestead
    shrinks in the drought

  19. I will/should start out by saying that (for safety purposes) my usage of I isn’t always really I! lol

    never underestimate
    your own strength

    stepping into
    purple slippers

    I tell her she’s my favorite
    mistress

    I loved you
    that’s all there is to it

    sunrise glistening
    on the sidewalk

  20. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    “Gamma!” my granddaughter’s joy
    “lellow, Gamma lellow”

    1. I could phrase this better:
      **
      “lellow!” my granddaughter points
      “lellow, Gamma, lellow!”
      **
      Would use italics instead of quotation marks if I could.

  21. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    emerging from their vigil
    tired but at peace
    *
    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    blowing out the last votive candle
    at dawn
    *

  22. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    after vowing never to reveal
    the secret ingredient
    *

  23. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi

    *

    its stem would be intact
    under my bare toes
    .
    3/13/2021 by wendy © bialek

  24. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    ———Dana Rapisardi

    migrating birds
    disappear in the fog

    a shower of notes
    from the leafed-out oak

    the saffron sun
    blazes in a puddle

  25. Great opening verse!

    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    (Dana Rapisardi)
    .
    gingerly digging out
    the little trench-coat
    .
    suddenly the thought
    of a new welcome rug

    .
    taking out the cloche hat
    for a stroll

  26. Congrats Dana! The crocus in my yard are always the first bulbs to emerge in early spring. Enjoyed reading your commentary Shelley, as well as the contributions of all poets.
    .
    .
    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi
    .
    .
    consider the ugly american
    formerly known as HRH
    .
    perfect pairing: a tokay
    christening the naked nooner
    .
    remarkably quick
    the speed’oh
    .
    ponder the glitter factor
    of a purple heart
    .
    who doesn’t love a stone wall
    drab with lichen?
    .
    .

  27. as Adam and Eve
    who knew they were naked
    **********************************
    out of the mud
    out of itself
    ************************
    a model and artist
    briefly locking eyes

    1. the last verse rewritten:
      ****************************
      the model and artist
      briefly locking eyes

  28. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    … ….. Dana Rapisardi

    bougenville
    dangling kissing my hair

    —— Nani Mariani

    1. Ha! Wendy, “alfalfa” and “parted” beside each other immediately made me think of the unfortunate Mr. Switzer, without even following the link. The “Lil Rascals” were usually the last thing I watched before leaving for school, long ago..

      1. thank you for sharing that with me, dana.
        i watched and enjoyed the rascals…
        rather religiously…. as a child, too!

  29. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi

    *
    a squirrel feeder
    plenty high with peanuts
    .
    3/12/2021 by wendy © bialek

  30. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed

    – Dana Rapisardi

    —-

    the long journey begins
    from zero ..

    Nani Mariani

  31. Great job, dear Shelley!
    Congratulations….!!
    Thank you for mentioning one of my verses.
    Thank you , dear John.,

  32. overnight rain

    the crocus hiding place

    exposed

    … @Dana Rapisardi
    ——

    and Apollo

    already to the moon

    Nani Mariani

  33. Well done, Shelley! Thank you for mentioning one of my verses. Congratulations, Dana, and I hope you enjoy the selection process.

    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    … Dana Rapisardi

    too the bones
    under the leaf litter

    the perennial problem
    of human bad behaviour

    lark’s tongues
    on the menu

    and one lark
    ascends into the blue

  34. Congrats Dana and thank you Shelley for the comments
    *
    all those shriveled wishes
    in the dried up well
    *
    train whistles
    and their long long goodbyes

  35. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    … Dana Rapisardi
    *
    from nowhere
    magpies celebrating
    *
    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    … Dana Rapisardi
    *
    magpies celebrate
    newly washed air
    *
    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    … Dana Rapisardi
    *
    magpies warbling
    around the bird bath

  36. all gathering
    a flower show

    **
    set aside my coat
    journey of free holiday

    **
    opening door
    smile of beauty and blossom

    **

    unbar the window
    of cold nod for new lease

    *****

    pail of water around
    gardener’s pride
    **
    cheery dawn
    new umbrella of her frock

    **

  37. Congratulations Dana, for a great verse and Shelley, for selecting it!

    sun shines again through
    window that needs washed

  38. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    almost missing the x
    marks the spot
    *

  39. the screams
    of love cats

    ***

    a mud snail
    clings to my wheelbarrow

    ***
    my son digs up
    his lost lego

  40. Shelley, thank you for selecting a hokku of mine as our next opener! It’s an honor and a thrill!
    ***
    John, I’d love to make the selection for the next capping verse, though be assured I’ll be counting on your consultation!
    ***

    And to Shelley and everyone else: my first name has caused much “gender confusion” all my life–to other people, not me. “My pronouns,” as is said these days, are he/him.
    ***

    Looking forward to all the verses! May inspiration strike us all (though I don’t plan to submit any “cappers” this week, I’m always eager for inspiration. I write micro-fiction and am currently crafting a bunch of cards for family and friends this year.)

    1. Congratulations Dana, you had tough competition! and apologies to you for the incorrect pronoun ( I (she/her) occasionally have the same problem with my name too -so I understand completely).

      1. Not a problem, Shelley! For me it started happening in kindergarten–and that was long, long ago!

  41. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi
    .
    we take the chill off
    with mugs of Earl Grey

  42. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    probing the unconscious for
    the source of recurring dreams
    *
    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    so many skeptics
    of recovered memory
    *

  43. Thank you for the wonderful commentary, Shelley, and interesting choice. I love Dana’s verse..its image of a quiet shift of nature…wind and rain moving leaves to expose a crocus. It’s noticing the simplest things that make a great verse. Congratulations, Dana! ps thanks, Shelley, for mentioning one of mine.

  44. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi

    *
    secret golden threads
    yellow the rice
    .
    3/11/2021 by wendy © bialek

      1. further clarification:

        this crocus…that i write about…..is of an autumn crocus….
        that saffron is associated with….not the spring crocus in dana’s
        hokku!

  45. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi

    *
    hummingbird rebuilds
    her nest in ceiling fan
    .
    3/11/2021 by wendy © bialek

    1. here in az, where we reside, hummingbirds return, visiting in spring. though, “hummingbird” it is a summer kigo. they leave just before autumn.

  46. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi

    *
    what purple shade
    will match her tea cup
    .
    3/11/2021 by wendy © bialek

  47. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi

    *
    barefoot on grass
    shafts between my toes

    3/11/2021 by wendy © bialek

  48. interesting commentary and lovely choice! nicely done, Shelley, and congrats, Dana .. mmmmmm .. crocus hiding place !!

  49. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    with a splash of yellow pollen
    in the puddle
    *
    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    sharing the puddled mirror
    with a daffodil
    *

  50. overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    .
    Dana Rapisardi

    *
    my latent talent
    of egg decorating

    3/11/2021 by wendy © bialek

  51. thank you shelley for an exceptional report!
    your generous sharing of rapport i found
    very enjoyable.
    ( thank you, also, for mentioning
    my “bird planted” verse.)
    however, the lovely “welcomed home” verse, by laurie greer,
    unfortunately, i cannot take ownership of….

    i love dana’s verse, too!!!!! so outstanding!!!!
    congrats, dana!

  52. Beautiful choice, Shelley! And wasn’t it fun? Thanks for putting my porch swing among the finalists, and for your observations on spring and all….and congratulations, Dana–a wonderful verse that has me inspired already!
    *
    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    denying she peeked
    as she counted to ten
    *
    overnight rain
    the crocus hiding place
    exposed
    *
    Dana Rapisardi
    *
    the next child tagged
    to be “it”
    *

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