The Renku Sessions: Tan-Renga Week 5
Hello, everyone. We will be focusing on tan-renga for the remainder of the year, with a couple of breaks while I am traveling. While I’m not certain how deeply rooted in its history this may be, I’m going to urge you to think of tan-renga in two ways. One way is to think of it as the shortest of all renga/renku forms. This would encourage variety in the linking styles and perhaps some great leaps. The other way is to think of it as collaborative waka/tanka, which might support closer linking, bordering upon narrative.
A total of 77 new opening verses were offered this week, by 18 poets. Once again, I will present a short list and then a list of finalists. I’ll then choose one of them but, as was the case the last time around, you can link to the other finalists, too.
So, here is my initial “short list”:
mica glistens
from this shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
it takes two to tango
several more to
line dance
Michael Henry Lee
another storm
a swish
of my neighbor’s curtain
Tracy Davidson
rusted
the wheelbarrow
in red leaves
Richard Straw
on the same corner
every night—
asking for change
Laurie Greer
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
january rules
there are no
secure places
Wendy C. Bialek
sparrows
come and go
on the fence
Debbie Feller
waking
angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
a fingerprint
galaxy disappears
in the telescope
Dan Campbell
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
blowing leaves…
the south wind no longer
warm
Nancy Brady
a lost button
your cardigan pockets
full of mothballs
J R Turek
Here is my list of “finalists,” with some comments:
mica glistens
from this shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
This verse seems to suit both renga and tanka styles of linking. It can be taken directly as a nature image but also can be read as an oblique comment on shallowness as a human attribute.
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
And time, as the Steve Miller Band reminds us, keeps on slipping into the future.
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
A minimalist verse but how could it be asking more clearly, “What’s next?”
waking
angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
A moment in which I imagine the poet(s) looking back, longingly at a dream.
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
This verse seems perfect for linking in the waka/tanka style.
I’ll say the same thing I said in the last round, because it’s still true. Any of these would be great fun to cap and I hope you will work with the runners-up, in addition to the one I am selecting.
Here is our opening verse for the next tan-renga:
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
THIS WEEK
Once again, you are invited to offer two-line capping verses. You may offer up to five for madeleine kavanagh’s verse. And you may also offer capping verses for the other four finalists. Although they will not be used in selecting the tan-renga that goes into THF archives, it occurs to me that they might be used (with both poets’ permission) for publication elsewhere, depending upon how that other publication feels about their prior appearance here.
Note: I will be traveling for the next two weeks. There will be no new post next week but I hope to be able to post results for this round of capping verses on Thursday, November 3rd. Please make your offers during the next two weeks. However, you may prefer to make them early because the link to this post will probably disappear from THF’s home page toward the end of the first week.
Enter your offers in the comments section, below, before midnight (Eastern US time) on Monday, October 31. On Thursday, November 3rd, I will select the capping verse that will complete this tan-renga for THF archives.
Thank you, all, once again,
John
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
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Congratulations madeleine!
.
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
.
a blustery wind
brings in new scents
.
unsteady on the tarmac
after a bumpy ride
.
at the stationers
a new batch of pens
.
opening the parlour door
a blast of cold air
.
the change in music
gathering tempo
.
waking
angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
eastern sky
is too cloudy
—–
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
moments when the fog
marred our bird watching
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes — madeleine kavanagh
the path you left by
thorns and brambles
_________________
sparrows
come and go
on the fence — Debbie Feller
empty cattle car
some went left …
_________________
waking
angry
at waking — Debbie Feller
I turn to you
my dream of you
_________________
EDIT (typo):
the path you left
thorns and brambles
waking
angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
the plumber
I should have married
mica glistens
from this shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
a house rat eludes
the glue pad
——–
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
old gran’s tales
surely keep me busy
***
our shared bicycle
will stay with me
***
i visit our old school
just once more
***
piece by piece
reassembling the puzzle
———
waking
angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
i pen a note
of warning
the sunbird chirps
relentlessly
——–
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
sheltered by her wings
the brood of chicks
on the deathbed
her husband waiting
waking
angry
at waking — Debbie Feller
.
her not-so-innocent cat
yawns and stretches
.
that stupid accidental
underdose
.
her ticket to the afterlife
marked ‘invalid’
.
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
(Keith Evetts)
the ghost of a smile
eddies in the debris
the times we goofed off
to go punting
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away — Jonathan Alderfer
.
the final piano notes
linger
.
not one dry eye
left in the house
.
it would never have worked
in technicolor
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written – Keith Evetts
.
Turner’s slave ship
fades into the west
.
again the temptation
to wax poetic
.
day by day the pen
becomes heavier
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes — Madeleine Kavanagh
.
thongs :: flip-flops
tomahtoes :: tomaytos
.
muddy footprints
across Mum’s linoleum
.
clop-clop clop-clop
down a hundred sacred steps
.
(total of 5, now)
.
how the space between
each breath grows longer
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
forget-me-not plants
suddenly seen all over
***
the taste of barbecued fish
lingers on
***
now drinking Earl Grey
without sugar
———–
waking
angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
the hibiscus bloom
turns away
***
song practice
echoes in the hallway
***
the infant’s cry
louder than before
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
–MK
a walking stick
from driftwood
–PN
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
(madeleine kavanagh)
keys of the cottage
left under a pot
change sneaking up
in the mirror
borrowing freckles
from dappled light
the role of a clown
in pantomime season
run Bambi run
from the gun
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
.
My offerings
I too learn to part
with things not mine
reminiscing our coffee chats
near the mountain lake
her memory of mine
now lost forever
Lakshmi Iyer
mica glistens
from this shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
persimmons picked
for want of authenticity
a gold ring found
at the accident site
***
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
with dried up ink
the pen waits to be revived
i ponder
about all the years
another one
before i can…
***
waking
angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
a family once more
in the reel
the pull of blankets
on a cold morning
for the love
for sleep
***
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
the brahmakamala
blooms only once a year
the neighbour’s cat
almost always by our gate
Congratulations Madeleine! Thank you John!
end of summer
i put on
my shoes
Madeleine Kavanagh
forgetting all that happened
last term
***
but they
somehow wouldn’t fit
***
learning to tango
with my new mate
***
the scorpion escapes
a hard lesson
***
once again
playing the same role
Thank-you Amoolya!
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
-Jonathan Alderfer
—
twang of a zither
from the pavement café
—
what else is a sailor
to do with his pay
—
one trick with a stranger
her bread for the day
—
dark spreads from the dagger
as far as the drain
—
the squeal of a night train
leaving L.A.
—
clutching the letter
that tells her he’s gay
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
“Your nails have trimmed nicely, sir :
Like me to do your corns?”
mica glistens
from this shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
the stony look above
her almost perfect cleavage
the magpie nest
brimful of ring-pulls
—–
waking
angry
at waking
-Debbie Feller
birds hide in winter’s
scarlet dawn
snores stilled
by an elbow
the cut-price therapist
leaves town
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
– madeleine kavanagh
my new date even taller
than his story
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
Madeleine Kavanagh
lost again on
a one way street
trashing the map
I follow my heart
a dangle of apples
fill bushel baskets
on point the dancer
and the leaves
sun on the river
letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evett
sinking behind velvet hills
golden red…a fresh sheet of paper
mica glistens
from the shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
“…hope she likes the ring
hope the band gets here on time…”
waking angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
fellow travelers of the
countless “sleep deprived”
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
— madeleine kavanagh
1)
my card reader
ran out of codes
2)
a louse emerges
out of her hair
3)
the weed plants
ready for harvesting
— ella wagemakers
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
he watches Casablanca
for the umpteenth time
Congrats Madeleine, and to all those who were shortlisted:
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes – madeleine kavanagh
but I keep my flip flops
in reserve
*
heading to the orchard
for apples and cider
*
getting prepared
for fall classes
*
heading to the mall
for new cardigans
*
grabbing the rake
from the shed
street light…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
John Aldererson,
she decided her next car
would be a plymouth
Thank-you Nancy!
how the ewe bleets
for her lost lamb
oops, correcting to:
how the ewe bleats
for her lost lamb
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
**********************
1) not enough fire
on wood on wet floor
2) his party announcement
while sudden shutdown
3) her blowing pipe
on wet coal
**************
4 )
wintry bed
all her cotton saris in line
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
*****************
1) ants parade
on special jaggery for tea
dove hunters crouched
in a field of sunflowers
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
*
the comings and goings
of migrating birds
the end of summer*
i put on
my shoes
the radiant shimmer
of fresh concealer
the end of summer
i put on
my shoes
maybe i don’t
fit in
the end of summer
i put on
my shoes
not knowing where
this friendship will go
the end of summer
i put on
my shoes
my first steps
on cobblestone
the end of summer
i put on
my shoes
not enough room
on the bus
* madeleine kavanagh
Congratulations Madeleine!
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
.
my father asks me
who I am
.
the oak leaves turned gold
as I lay dreaming
.
an early snow dusts
the goldenrod with silver
.
afternoon sunlight
still lingers in the treetops
.
the night ferry
is standing room only
Thank-you so much Jonathan
street light…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
John Aldererson,
“…son
she just got orders…”
…
mica glistens
from the shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
last drops of sunlight
reveal its treasure
…
waking angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
“I miss them
so”
…
sun on the river
letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evett
“…when will they
ever learn…”
(Pete Seeger’s “Where Have All the Flowers Gone”)
mica glistens
from this shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
***
no day goes by
in a hurry
•••
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
**
shaking head when
everything is possible
•••
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
**
shaking head when
everything is possible
•••
waking
angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
***
one hundred full moons
useless
•••
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
**
please hug me
don’t know how long
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
**
back to work
after giving birth to twins
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
*
madeleine kavanagh
*
another bang
at the middle of night
rockpools submerged
by the incoming tide
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
the cliff where you fell
one step at a time
rattle of the southbound
rambling in the palms
black banded socks, too
wooly bear says so
new job business casual
open or closed toe sandals?
mica glistens
from this shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
the sparkle in your eyes
partial eclipse
_________________
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
silver moon
sliver of truth
_________________
it takes two to tango
several more to
line dance
Michael Henry Lee
out of line
gets you the old one-two
_________________
another storm
a swish
of my neighbor’s curtain
Tracy Davidson
the clank of
my shovel in the rain
_________________
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
cobblestone ghost
flees the scene
_________________
rusted
the wheelbarrow
in red leaves
Richard Straw
matted feathers
of a soaked chicken
_________________
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
sage on the air
avenue of the ancestors
________________
3.
nice perfect
diplomatic talks
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
leaving the room
to the elephant
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
*
madeleine kavanagh
*
so many memories
like a sweet valentine
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
*
madeleine kavanagh
*
*
Congratulations dear Madeleine
Beautiful 💕💕
Thank-you very much Nani!
Thanks Dan!
Thanks Michael!
a very intriguing poem
street light …
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
hospital
understaffed again
…
street light …
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
“…mom is going
deep cover…”
…
street light…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
she refuses to have the “S76-4
Discombubulator” fall into the wrong hands
Debbie, a very thought provoking poem
waking angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
too early in
the morning
…
waking angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
tired of counting
crickets
…
waking angry
at waking
Debbie Fuller
a rainbow over
the evergreens
a very lovely poem, Keith
sun on the river
letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evett
they use to play
by the bank
…
sun on the river
letter of condolence still
to be written
Keith Evett
“…never have I seen
such valor…”
…
sun on the river
letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evett
how will I
explain this to her
Thank you, Madeleine. An old college friend died of Parkinson’s. I went for a ruminative cycle down the Thames. The verse, almost needless to say, has been twice rejected. I am glad it struck a chord with you (and with John)
Hi Keith:
I’m sorry to hear of your friend’s passing…
it’s a great poem. Hope that you continue to
send it off.
Beautiful poem, Lorin
mica glistens
from the shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
his eyes
when he laughs
…
mica glistens
from the shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
the shade of their
puppy’s fur
…
mica glistens
from the shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
scent of toast
in the morning
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
*
madeleine kavanagh
*
announcement on radio
there is a walking competition
A super start!
Thanks for naming me a finaltist.
pack flipflops
with bathing suits
toe ring tan
already fading
first time
since May
littered with
pink rose petals
harvest a pail
of green tomatoes
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
*
madeleine kavanagh
*
double-knotting the lace
he pulls himself up by
*
correction, I guess it should be:
double-knotting the laces
he pulls himself up by
*
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
*
madeleine kavanagh
*
winning the flip to go first
and hoping for a ringer
*
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
the reconstruction
we hope will stir memories
Tracy Davidson
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
no words to explain
her secret relief
Tracy Davidson
giving in to another birthday
i exchange laces for velcro
My 5 capping verse offers for Madeleine’s opener:
polishing
my accent for interviews
first steps on the path
to sobriety
pretending to mourn
for mother’s sake
his name
still a mystery
finding my way to the front
of the picket line
one last skinny
dip in the quarry
******
counting the stars
on a midnight hayride
Congrats Madeleine and thank you John
*****
trees in the hurricane
juggling bird nests and squirrels
*****
searching for the pump
to inflate his girlfriend
sightless puppies
cuddle into mum
Congratulations Madeleine!!!
what happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas
waiting for
the second one to drop
easing into the
constant bear gait
polished too within
an inch of their lives
a watershed moment
for neoprene heels
Michael:
what happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas
got my day off to a great start! Still laughing…
Thank-you so very much John…Congratulations to the finalists
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes – madeleine kavanagh
talk at the chemo unit
turns to neuropathy
puddles and rainbows
among rotting leaves
Lovely verse Madeleine.
Congratulations to all the runner ups.
Thank-you very much Robert
one foot escapes
the scorpion’s sting
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes – madeleine kavanagh
.
turning back
to watch the turning tide
.
one last glance
at the turning tide
Congratulations, Madeleine and thank you John for including my ‘shallow river’ in your final list.
.
re: “Please make your offers during the next two weeks. However, you may prefer to make them early because the link to this post will probably disappear from THF’s home page toward the end of the first week.” – John
The link to all Renku Sessions isn’t hard to find on the THF home page, though: one just scrolls down the page until there are only the names (no photos etc) of the various things and click on ‘Renku Sessions’. All but the current page (this weeks tan renga page) can be found there, beginning with last week’s tan renga post:
https://thehaikufoundation.org/category/features/renku-sessions/
Thank-you Lorin
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
*
madeleine kavanagh
*
feeling the footloose catch up
with the fancy free
*
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
*
distant rumbles
from the front line
*
taking
my bruises
*
clap of thunder
laces snap
*
rows of new faces
staring at me
*
evacuation
alert
****
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
my cigarette smoke
races to catch her
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
*
madeleine kavanagh
*
a long walk to be sure
there’s no place like home
*
Congratulations, Madeleine! Super verse. And thanks, John, for the comments and the short-listing.
*
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
*
madeleine kavanagh
*
ten easy steps
to hand-knit socks
Thank-you so much Laurie
stepping in
the same old cowflops
Congratulations to madeleine kavanagh on an evocative and nostalgia-producing opening verse.
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
at the bus stop
big and little waves
*
familiar faces in
a room with old desks
*
all queued up and
laughing for lunchtime
*
on the playground
shouts of Red Rover
*
avoiding cracks
on the walk home
+++
Also, congratulations to the four other finalists:
mica glistens
from this shallow river’s
sandy bed
Lorin Ford
*
flashing a toy badge
to prove a point
*
“distracted from distraction
by distraction”
(Hear T. S. Eliot read “Burnt Norton” at https://poets.org/text/t-s-eliots-burnt-norton.)
+++
sun on the river
a letter of condolence
still to be written
Keith Evetts
*
the best fishing
at sundown
*
tears from the glare
and the memories
+++
waking
angry
at waking
Debbie Feller
*
the dead alive
dead again
*
a dead-end job
for forty years
+++
streetlight…
her shadow grows longer
as she walks away
Jonathan Alderfer
*
“The Third Man Theme”
plays on on a zither
(See Anton Karas play his tune in a Pathe Pictorial at https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gFz79SBnuk8.)
*
“the empty sidewalks…
are not the same”
(See the “Walk Away Renee” lyrics by The Left Banke at https://www.songfacts.com/lyrics/the-left-banke/walk-away-renee.)
Thank-you very much Richard
Well done Marilyn. Open -ended shoes…
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
rain tap-dancing
on the roof
soles of departed pilgrims
wore these steps
Thank-you very much Keith.
a rhythmic clang
from the smithy’s hammer
a perfect day waits
outside the doctor’s office
or:
a perfect day waits outside
the doctor’s office
pulled down face mask
listening to little cuckoo
Congratulations, Madeleine. A fitting verse to take us forward, well done.
Enjoyed reading your comments, John.
Thank-you so much Carol
good going…madeleine kavanagh
loving your starter and john’s commentary
thanks for the mention, john.
circled by fire
ants dancing for rain
or
circled by fire ants
dancing for rain
fire ants! 🙂 You’d certainly be dancing if you found yourself among them!
Thank-you very much Wendy
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes (mk)
toe-nails in-growing
and my feet don’t fit
ballet lessons next week
in the old mortuary
wherever you go in the park
mud on your shoes
I’ll stand for Prime MInister
now the lady is de-trussed
trousers next
and then my knickers
it’s a serious commitment
but I’ll stand to my word
into the garden
last trim before winter
Congratulations Madeleine! And thank you, John!
looking for all
the sunlit paths
Thanks Debbie
the end of summer
I put on
my shoes
madeleine kavanagh
..
Offering my verses
.
I’m not at all
in a hurry to fly
.
father promise to get
a new umbrella soon
.
i have one more round
of fruit salad with icecream
.
the sound of tram’s bell
further and farther
.
nothing to lose as i learn
to pack my luggage
.
Lakshmi Iyer
India