The Renku Sessions: Tan-Renga Week 3
Hello, everyone. We will be focusing on tan-renga for the remainder of the year, with a couple of breaks while I am traveling. While I’m not certain how deeply rooted in its history this may be, I’m going to urge you to think of tan-renga in two ways. One way is to think of it as the shortest of all renga/renku forms. This would encourage variety in the linking styles and perhaps some great leaps. The other way is to think of it as collaborative waka/tanka, which might support closer linking, bordering upon narrative.
Seeking new opening verses, we were gifted with 74 offers, from 18 poets. Thank you, all!
I’m going to share two steps in my selection process this time. There will be an initial “short list” and another list of “finalists,” before a final selection.
So, here is my initial “short list”:
silk scroll
leaves falling beneath
the artist’s brush
Carol Jones
at the bottom
of his toolbox
a pink envelope
Keith Evetts
lost love…
fallen leaves cover
a forgotten rake
Jonathan Alderfer
a white narcissus
bent over the puddle—
mirror, mirror…
Lorin Ford
in the garage
grandpa’s old shoes
become an anthill
Nani Mariani
mackerel clouds
bedclothes billow
along the wash line
Carol Jones
first raw weather of autumn
hearing the cold
in the busker’s throat
Laurie Greer
down-pouring rain
my daughter’s airplane
somewhere
Richard Straw
autumn dusk
his garden rake
stands idle
Susan Grant
barbed wire
another tattoo
in memory of
Betty Shropshire
debris knocks
along the river bank
on a Friday night
madeleine kavanagh
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
All of the above seem promising in some way. Here is my list of “finalists.”
at the bottom
of his toolbox
a pink envelope
Keith Evetts
It seems there is room for this to relate to a variety of relationships.
lost love…
fallen leaves cover
a forgotten rake
Jonathan Alderfer
This seems promising in both its literal image and figuratively, in relation to “The Rake’s Progress.”
barbed wire
another tattoo
in memory of
Betty Shropshire
This verse takes the quality of “open-endedness” to an extreme. If I was capping it, I would want to try to “extend without ending.”
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
I feel as if I could sit with this for a long time before the next thing would come to me.
I have to say now that I regret having to choose only one of these. I am doing so mostly for the administrative convenience of focusing on one opening verse. Each of these would be fun to work with. Here’s my compromise. You can link, this week, to any of the above four “finalist” verses but I will make my selection from capping verses for the one I’ve selected below (for which you can make up to five offers).
So, here is our opening verse:
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
THIS WEEK
Please offer up to five two-line capping verses for Marion Clarke’s opening verse. In addition, you may, if you like, offer capping verses for any of the other three “finalists.”
Enter your offers in the comments section, below, before midnight (Eastern US time) on Monday, October 10. On Thursday, October 13, I will select the capping verse that will go into the Haiku Foundation archives.
Thank you, all,
John
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
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at the bottom
of his toolkit
a pink envelope
Keith Evetts
the mariner’s compass
points northwards
, Marion, congratulations for an excellent and inspiring poem! Thanks, John.
pauses
at midnight
*
in a blink
dusk descends
*
wet
with divine dew
*
cleansed
in divine showers
Congratulations Marion!
Thank you John!
My offering of capping verses for Marion’s ku:
a virus grips
the whole world
***
in a flash
the cheetah sets off
***
piercing cry of
asleep infant
***
slow death of the
roadside wildflower
***
the snail still
on same stone
Thank you, Amoolya!
at the bottom
of his toolbox
a pink envelope
–Keith Evetts
a love letter
from the little red-haired girl
Congrats to all the poets short-listed/finalists especially to Marion for a fabulous verse.
rain at dawn
suddenly
from this world
–Marion Clarke
a gunman shoots
too many schoolchildren
*
we see the gray cat
emerge from the fog
*
more wasted lives
to gun violence
*
the loss of more lives
to gun violence
*
the emergence
of a fairy ring
Thank you so much, Nancy!
what now! we’ve plundered
mother’s jewels
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world -Marion Clarke
.
leaping through the cat door
a very soggy cat
Congratulations Marion and thank you John
***
he counted thirteen
steps on the gallows
***
his last joke was about
the hood clashing with his shirt
***
his last drink
was a sip of fog
***
you notice alley wildflowers
when standing on the gallows
***
hearts can beat louder
than any drum
Thanks, Dan! 🙂
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
.
capturing our breath
to arise to live
.
little by little
I come to know of you
.
awakening a new
life in me
.
Lakshmi Iyer
silent weep as we lose
our mother’s charm
barbed wire
another tattoo
in memory of
Betty Shropshire
the dark side
of the cat’s paw
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world – Marion Clarke
.
huddled in the bus shelter
a woman, a man
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world – Marion Clarke
.
skid marks where
we avoided an echidna
or
skid marks where we
avoided an echidna
barbed wire
another tattoo
in memory of
-Betty Shropshire
however …
let me be me
lost of love…
cover leaf falling
the forgotten rake
Jonathan Alderfer
everything is a mess
when this happens
at the bottom
of his toolbox
a pink envelope
Keith Evetts
i kiss gently
shed tears ..
Congratulations, Marion! Much to ponder here! I love it.
Betty
Thank you, Betty. So glad you do 🙂
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
*
the snap of a floodlight coming on
over my head
barbed wire
another tattoo
in memory of
Betty Shropshire
wisdom of her dawn
her sad song prolonging
barbed wire
another tattoo
in memory of
Betty Shropshire
her sobbing goes on
amidst her protests
lost love…
fallen leaves cover
a forgotten rake
Jonathan Alderfer
********
no good bye from her
even while being negated
at the bottom
of his toolbox
a pink envelope
Keith Evetts
rusted iron trunk
full of romantic aroma
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
******
away from the park
no reason why
**
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
*
the “let’s pretend”
from the next room
*
this year’s migration calls
shorter by a skein
**
Congratulations Marion! A lovely verse. And thanks John for your attention to one of mine.
.
an arroyo fills up
with angels
.
the smell
of the tarmac
.
rising water floods
the holy see
.
the long embrace of
a strangler fig
.
toad in the driveway
could care less
.
Thanks, Jonathan!
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
*
the family tradition
of repenting at leisure
**
she cuts herself
on a broken milk bottle
a deserter’s heart
stops beating
and the next
drink will kill her
my neighbours watch
his covered stretcher
the soggy bottom
of her sponge
The last one may be a tad niche for those outside the UK. I’ve been watching too much Great British Bake Off. And, on there, no-one wants a soggy bottom!
“soggy bottom,” in almost any context, not an asset!
Hahahahaha
L.O.L, I agree 🙂
Just to add, you never know this happens untill the crucial moment
visiting time
your hospital bed vacant
edit-
lost love…
fallen leaves cover
a forgotten rake – Jonathan Alderfer
visiting time
your hospital bed vacant
at the bottom
of his toolbox
a pink envelope
Keith Evetts
“…please take my tooth
to the fairy…”
.….
barbed wire
another tattoo
in memory of
Betty Shropshire
a closing of
freedom
…..
lost love…
fallen leaves cover
a forgotten rake
Jonathan Alderfer
from the ashes
rise new dreams
lost love…
fallen leaves cover
a forgotten rake
Jonathan Alderfer
at the nub end
all the notes written to god
lovely poem Marion
reminds me of:
Mattina
M’illumino
d’immenso
Guiseppi Ungaretti 1917
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
the wiped window
mists up again
two by two
on to the boat
….
the trickle
before the storm
….
a garden cultivated
for His beloved
.…
after years
of drought
….
children leap
in the street
at the bottom
of his toolbox
a pink envelope
Keith Evetts
away from the wolves
his voice a pitch above
If one may try capping one’s own verse…
at the bottom
of his toolkit
a pink envelope
— Keith Evetts
why oh why
is everything screwed
lost love…
fallen leaves cover
a forgotten rake
— Jonathan Alderfer
eyes smarting as
it hits me on the nose
—
barbed wire
another tattoo
in memory of
— Betty Shropshire
insufficient elbow room
in our love affairs
Congratulations to Marion Clarke.
John: must the capping two lines avoid a grammatical break as with the renku?
and these are my five attempts.
a column of soldier ants
comes out of nowhere
one moment an earthworm
the next a thrush
eyes blinking
at the subway exit
struck dumb
by birdsong
all the Queen’s horses
and all the Queen’s men
“must the capping two lines avoid a grammatical break as with the renku?”
Yes if you are thinking of it as “the shortest form of renku” and probably if you are thinking of it as collaborative tanka.
barbed wire
another tattoo
in memory of
-Betty Shropshire
mother’s woollen garment
recycled stitch by stitch
at the bottom
of his toolbox
a pink envelope -Keith Evetts
memories filed away
in the lost and found section
rain at dawn
suddenly
from this world
Marion Clarke
to avoid flooding
loggers will be fined
rain at dawn
suddenly
from this world
Marion Clarke
weather news last night
not guarantee
Congratulations Marion.
Thanks John for the intro .
Joining in, having unfortunately missed the opening of this relatively new to me form.
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
in the porch checking wellies
for spiders and mice
imprisoned in there own drums
passing umbrellas
a leaf rides
the passing child’s tsunami
focussed on time
I too will become a snail
our daughter moving on
wears yellow with her smile
Hello there, Robert, nice to see you posting again 🙂
Thank you Carol
Been riding a roller coaster this year.
Enjoyed yours and John’s other selections above.
Looking forward to reading this weeksofferings and getting more insight into the form. 😀
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
Congratulations dear Marion ..
Beautiful ❤️
.
my forty winks
gone by at light speed
.
Congratulations, Marion. 🙂
My equal favourites, from all of the verses on John’s first short-list this week, are this one of yours and Carol’s ‘silk scroll’.
So I totally agree with John’s choice. (Will try to come up with some verses, whatever the two-line verse of a tan-renga is called. )
Thanks so much, Lorin. Tough competition! As I said to Keith many of the contenders had an immediate impact on me. I particularly enjoyed how you combined Greek mythology with the fairytale of Snow White.
Hahaha that would be the ‘capping verse.’ I remember feeling so pleased when John selected one of mine to follow a haiku written by John Hawkhead in my first tan renga on the renku sessions. We later sent it out to a few journals and it was published.
Thank you, Lorin
no home, school or holy
place to crash
Congrats, Marion, and also to all the finalists.
Many thanks, Wendy.
barbed wire
another tattoo
in memory of
Betty Shropshire
the characters
for love
Congratulations, Marion!
realizing her policy
has nearly come to term
waiting for a call back
from the insurance agent
Thank you, Debbie!
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
*
how the crash seems to happen
in slow motion
*
the top unsecured
on the blender
soft ground evens
the odds for the outsider
tremors throughout
the spider’s web
There’s class for you! Congratulations, Marion for
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
Marion Clarke
— to which: —
the cord cut
at his first cry
the upturned roadster’s
wheels still spinning
just bubbles
on a puddle
in Piccadilly Circus
you could be anybody
the radio alarm plays
Ride of the Valkyries
– Keith Evetts
Thank you, Keith. I was in fine company; there were quite a few poems that made me go “aaaah”, yours included. I am fortunate that mine peeped its head up that wee bit further! Many thanks to John.
Marion: I resisted:
rain at dawn
the suddenness
of this world
— Marion Clarke
the soddenness
of wet dreams
…the imp in me, to be sure.
Caps raised for Marion Clarke’s verse!
a sheet of ice
slips into the sea
*
words in anger
never unsaid
*
a door clicks shut
as someone leaves
*
bystanders stare
at an accident
*
birds sing
as dad dies
+++
Also, doffed caps for the three other finalists:
at the bottom
of his toolbox
a pink envelope
Keith Evetts
*
a daughter’s
last valentine
*
the unsent
love letter
+++
lost love…
fallen leaves cover
a forgotten rake
Jonathan Alderfer
*
the longest ever
practical joke
*
the satires of
a dead satyr
+++
barbed wire
another tattoo
in memory of
Betty Shropshire
*
unforgettable
the Six Million
*
the bugle calls
prior to taps
Thank you, Richard!
Congratulations, Marion, and also to all the finalists.
Thank you for pausing on some of mine, John.
Thinking cap on, and onward. . .
Thanks, Carol. And well done for getting two mentions! As an artist, I particularly enjoyed your ‘silk scrolls.’
Thank you, Marion.
I admire many chinese painters and paintings on line, I’m looking forward to the day I have the time to visit the Victoria and Albert museum to view the painting there and also the kimono section.
Once again, well done gal’ 🙂
One additional instruction: If you are capping Marion Clarke’s verse there is no need to repeat it in your note. But, if you are capping one of the other verses, please include that verse in your note.
Thanks,, John. Noted. 🙂 (I’m one who needed this information.)
a fortnight
however long it might be