The Renku Sessions: Tan-Renga Week 11
Hello, everyone. We are focusing on tan-renga for the remainder of the year. While I’m not certain how deeply rooted in its history this may be, I’m going to urge you to think of tan-renga in two ways. One way is to think of it as the shortest of all renga/renku forms. This would encourage variety in the linking styles and perhaps some great leaps. The other way is to think of it as collaborative waka/tanka, which might support closer linking, bordering upon narrative.
We received 105 opening verse offers this week, from 26 poets.
Here is my short list:
winter air
entering the fog
of weather talk
John Hawkhead
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
New Year
all the fuss
among the sparrows
Keith Evetts
black trees
line the long hill
above a frozen lake
Dick Pettit
parchment lichen
another year
for the annals
Laurie Greer
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
Nancy Brady
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
yearly corn maze
now a stubble field
solved crossword
Beni Kurage
cold realisation
my life no longer warrants
a diary
Marion Clarke
white bark unraveling . . .
the lies I told myself
just last fall
Jonathan Alderfer
taxi ride –
the whole journey packed
in a bag
Amoolya Kamalnath
And here are the finalists, with some comments:
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
Most of us will have written English-language haiku or tanka before we attempted any of the collaborative forms. As a result, it is instinctive for us to attempt to “complete the job” with our first three lines. But this is a skill we might do well to unlearn, to some degree, when offering renku verses. The above verse is vivid, gives us something to imagine, but stops short of making any direct statement beyond the implications of those things depicted. Writing tan-renga is a little bit like volleyball. We “set” with the opening verse, so that another player can “score” with the cap.
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
Nancy Brady
My personal rule, which I’ve probably stated here before, is that I have to be rewarded for my effort if there is a word I have to look up. I’m glad I now know about “hogmanay.” If the implied topic here is the past and future of language, and what that says about us, the capping verse could take us almost anywhere.
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
Returning to my volleyball example, this verse might look like an attempt to score but it could also serve as an effective “set,” leaving the scoring to the cap.
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
And here we have a quite straightforward metaphor. Twisting the cap, however, might open up unanticipated possibilities.
Even more than usual, I see each of these as deserving effective capping. I’m going to select one to work on for the archives but I encourage you all to play the game with the others. Here is my selection for the final week:
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
THIS WEEK
Please make up to five offers of capping verses for Michelle V. Alkerton’s opener. And please consider offering capping verses for the other finalists; for fun, practice and out of respect.
Enter your offers in the comments section, below, before midnight (Eastern US time) on Monday, December 19th. On Thursday, December 22nd, I will select the capping verse and comment on the process.
Thank you, all, once again,
John
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
This Post Has 77 Comments
Comments are closed.
cold realisation
my life no longer warrants
a diary
Marion Clarke
the mantel clock
to celebrate retirement
Inspired by the short list, too! It’s been a joy to read all the poetry. John, thank-you for your direction.
parchment lichen
another year
for the annals
Laurie Greer
purple dye
the stuff of kings
taxi ride –
the whole journey packed
in a bag
Amoolya Kamalnath
did I bring enough
for change
winter air
entering the fog
of weather talk
John Hawkhead
a sprouting limb
of the cherry tree
cold realization
my life no longer warrants
a diary
Marion Clarke
… to journal by
the fireside
New Year
all the fuss
among the sparrows
Keith Evetts
someone has pilfered
her special twig
white bark unraveling . . .
the lies I told myself
just last fall
Jonathan Alderfer
winter tree
its light
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
brush slush
from blackened toes
… … …
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
feeling that
makes me cry out
… … …
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
Nancy Brady
confessions true
blind spots – a few
black trees
line the long hill
above a frozen lake
Dick Pettit
yellow blossoms in springtime…
the sugar maple tree
Congratulations Michelle! A lovely ku!
Thank you, John, for pausing on one of mine, and for your guidance!
—
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
first liplock
after the storm
many foreign coins
still in my old album
her stage performance
after the rose tea
the picnic basket
stuffed with sweet treats
a dove’s nest
just beneath the roof
—
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
his gangrenous toes
still to be amputated
—
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
opening the cork
of a champagne bottle
prising open
a bubble wrap
yearly corn maze
now a stubble field
solved crossword
Beni Kurage
except for that one word…
eludes me
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
tidy up again
Santa Claus is coming
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
in an emergency
sirens provide assistance
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
– Michelle V. Alkerton
*
a clap of thunder
off in the distance
– Betty Shropshire
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
*
Michelle V. Alkerton
*
not spared
a dirty look
**
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
*
Michelle V. Alkerton
*
our exchange
of off-season conversation hearts
**
Congrats to Michelle as well as to the other finalists. Thanks, John, for including one of mine in the mix of finalists, too. Now, for some capping verses for them all after a hectic weekend.
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
–Robert Kingston
the lamplighter’s whistle
brightens dark corners
*
the cold moon shines
on the cobblestones
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
–Richard Straw
he heads to the bookstore
for Atlas Shrugged
*
grabbing the decanter
he pours a double
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
–Nancy Brady
at the Burns’ Night Supper
they serve haggis
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
–Michelle V. Alkerton
he suggests
switching to cribbage
*
too late to play
the Q tile
*
the cat jumps
scattering the tiles
*
using the I
to play quixotic
*
watching the ball
fall in times square
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
my tattered jacket
in the goodwill pile
Sarah E. Metzler
revision:
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
my tattered jacket
on the goodwill pile
Sarah E. Metzler
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
Nancy Brady
the last goodbye hug
the warmest
Sarah E. Metzler
‘goose egg’ lost
in translation
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
the night’s offering
of stars
Sarah E. Metzler
revision:
a night’s offering
of stars
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
— Robert Kingston
****
an old man weeping
under a weeping willow
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers -Robert Kingston
an old iron grate
polished up a treat
Smashing verse, Robert.
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
a slight touch
tickles my scars
_________
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
Nancy Brady
fewer tears
and more resolve
________
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
holiday recipes
tucked in with drying leaves
______
Thanks to all for sharing.
Stay inspired!
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
the warmth of the hearth
between my toes
***
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
Nancy Brady
God rest ye merry gentlemen
Lift up your glasses
***
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
i walk past the weeping willows
out of the shadows
***
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
my naughty cat
disappears under the couch
*
break open the champagne!
time to watch the ball drop
*
i smile at my grandmother…
her hands arranging the tiles
*
the street lights came on
too early this year
*
we walk to the diner…
neither one of us hungry
*
Diana Jeong
Pasadena, CA
standing in the shadow
of the twelfth station
good one Carol
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
…
greeting old and new
customers with a joke
….
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
Nancy Brady
next year I will take
better care of the garden
…
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
…
Richard Straw
hold on…
something in the last chapter
Congratulations Michelle…an intriguing opening verse
and also to the finalists: the poems… jibing beautifully with the theme.
final play using
all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
“…70 times
seven…”
….
final play using
all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
for shrinking his
favorite Christmas sweater
…
final play using
all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
they remove the tiles along
the roof … lowering their friend
…..
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
…almost too good
to be true
…
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
…
He wipes them
clean
time times and half of time
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
*
Michelle V. Alkerton
*
back to life
at the dead letter office
**
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
*
Michelle V. Alkerton
*
the mea culpa
disqualified
**
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
not forgiven
keeping score
f – o – r – e – i – g – n
plays on love
on a double
you left open
keeping score
not forgiven
the hidden question mark
left hanging
another lie
I learn to live with
on his calculator
he types out ‘BOOBIES’
claiming another corner
of the chocolate box
mouthing double words
none of them repeatable
with a candlestick
in the library
drawing a blank
where i set the keys
pending
a recount
your no good your no good
baby your no good
penalized for
excessive celebration
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
— Robert Kingston
always was
a poet by night
—
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
— Richard Straw
the dog’s ears twitch
in fireside dreams
—
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
— Nancy Brady
the fiddler’s wife
under the mistletoe
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
quoting Haydn
whilst intending Satie
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
Congratulations Michelle!
Thank you John for considering mine among some fine verses.
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
—Michelle V. Alkerton
let your indulgence
set me free
Congratulations Michelle and thank you John
****
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
*****
waving to flying fish
headed for the moon
*****
counting the thirteen steps
on the prison guard tower
*****
bits of a prisoner uniform
decorating the barbed wire
****
his pistols and dice
are always loaded
Thank you for choosing my verse for the opening John. I have really enjoyed reading and participating in these sessions. I hope to offer some capping verses to the other offerings later in the week, but for now here’s one for mine.
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
we exist before she exits
now just letters rearranged
oops! syllable count
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
we exist then she exits
now just letters rearranged
Congratulations to Nancy Brady and to our three runners-up, Robert, Michelle and Richard.
.
Well, it’s Summer in Victoria, Australia, now, but you wouldn’t know it: rain, hail and even snow this week! And the weather bureau has taken to referring to rain as “showers”.
—————
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers – Robert Kingston
.
any moment
the ghosts of Christmas past
—
looking back
and looking forward
— a Hogmanay toast – Nancy Brady
the bonnie charm
of a Glasgow accent
—
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven – Michelle V. Alkerton
an archived episode
of ‘Mother and Son’
—
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve – Richard Straw
.
then the pages fall open
at East Gidding
—
Cheers!
Whoops! I got MIchelle and Nancy mixed up! My apologies.
Congratulations, Michelle, for John’s selection of your opening verse:
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven – Michelle V. Alkerton
East Gidding being half way between East Coker and Little Gidding?
“East Gidding being half way between East Coker and Little Gidding?”
Probably, Keith 🙂 ( Duh! I think I might be suffering from Senior’s virus, sometimes referred to as ‘brain scrabble’. )
.
revised to:
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve – Richard Straw
.
then the pages fall open
at Little Gidding
—
(But let’s not forget Adlestrop.)
.
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve – Richard Straw
.
but still the blackbird sings
at Adlestrop
.
Love Adlestrop !
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
bonus points
adding up
the final score
left untallied
his first move
under the table
his last word
not in the dictionary
a shovel for the sand
in the hourglass
Sarah E. Metzler
If you will, a revision for that last cap:
a shovel for all the sand
through the hourglass
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
Nancy Brady
my never-ending love
for legal immigrants
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
a prized first edition
from the Goodwill Store
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
casino slot game
gambling hotline
or
but not forgotten
Q comes out in the wash
or
winning the war
adding un- to forgiven
or
left holding
the letter bag
or
whistling past
the graveyard
—
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
moonlight
as a chimney sweep
—
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
Nancy Brady
cave paintings and grunts
first words in the Pictionary
—
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
Strunk and White’s Rules of Style
new colleague’s purple mohawk
or
Robert’s Rules of Order
motion to run from the building
or
Who’s Who in America
sin of omission
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven – Michelle V. Alkerton
new game begins
just one rule
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
booked on suspicion
as cop gets his prints
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
*
Michelle V. Alkerton
*
a gentle word
to the wise
**
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
—
a graduate tosses
her cap in the air
—
could I ever
beat my mother
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
world without end
amen amen
the art of minding
one’s p’s and q’s
Congratulations to Michelle V. Alkerton on an enigmatic opening verse. And thanks again, John, for your selections and guidance.
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
*
an older sibling
smiles at the younger
*
a runaway returns
the parent’s gaze
*
a wife smiles
at the husband
*
a cellmate clears
the board in silence
*
an adulterer reads
the writing in the dirt
+++
Also, congratulations to the other finalists:
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
*
the flower girl
tenders a ha’penny
*
the chimney sweep’s
teeth shine brightly
+++
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
Nancy Brady
*
a circle of friendship
for “Auld Lang Syne”
*
may your first-foot
ne’er be your last
+++
And, finally, a bit of “Sartor Resartus”:
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
*
the youth
starts a sequel
*
the retiree
rereads a classic
Just now saw your chimney sweep. Great minds think alike.
Congratulations, Michelle. Enjoyed reading your comments, John.
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
*
Michelle V. Alkerton
*
another letter
to return to sender
**
Entertaining and instructive yet again. Thanks to all.
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
—-
the stars aligned
in syzygy
—
an almost perfect enso
in the coffee froth
Shameless promo: my youngest’s first-year short animated film ‘Syzygy’ at uni : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aRLI0kSRWA
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
..
the time you take
to say ‘sorry’
.
once again
we walk and stay together
.
this new year
i learn to forget our woes
.
the horizons between
us to stay
.
going round and round
the word ‘oak’
.
when the game of the goose gets serious
*
the surprise ending
is just collateral damage
*
what it was
now it lies half destroyed
*
illustrated cards invite
players to weave complex narratives
*
that’s a jellyfish not a sugar jelly
Wishing you and everyone here a happy 2023 John.
So good, Michelle! And thanks, John, for giving us this opportunity!
discount store’s waffles
just need extra syrup
year end
the chestnut seller’s
blackened fingers
Robert Kingston
picking out the truth
from the pledges
looking back
and looking forward
—a hogmanay toast
Nancy Brady
life’s cataract
behind the glasses
year’s end
another book to close
and shelve
Richard Straw
so few words
left between us
John Hawkhead, wow, just wow. I love this too.
final play
using all my Scrabble tiles
forgiven
Michelle V. Alkerton
your final letter
still unburned
John Hawkhead, I love this!