The Renku Sessions: Tan-Renga Week 1
Hello, everyone. We will be focusing on tan-renga for the remainder of the year, with a couple of breaks while I am traveling. While I’m not certain how deeply rooted in its history this may be, I’m going to urge you to think of tan-renga in two ways. One way is to think of it as the shortest of all renga/renku forms. This would encourage variety in the linking styles and perhaps some great leaps. The other way is to think of it as collaborative waka/tanka, which might support closer linking, bordering upon narrative.
We got off to a good start this week, with sixty-six opening verse offers, from seventeen poets.
I don’t have any preconceived thought of how to organize my comments from week to week. My first thought was to choose one example from each of you who made offers but that borders on chaotic and would only be more so if we have additional participants in the coming weeks.
What I have settled upon for this week is to simply present the opening verses that I promised to select, with some comments on linking strategies that I associate with each of them. Keep in mind that these comments are only intended to start a thinking process. Don’t hesitate to take your capping verses somewhere else. I like surprises.
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
It seems to me that this verse could support either a renga/renku or a waka/tanka style of linking. Bear in mind that, in renku terms, “dragonfly” establishes this as an “all autumn” verse. So, if you are taking a renga/renku approach, I would suggest that your capping verse should either be autumn or non-seasonal. If you are taking a waka/tanka approach, you can think of the dragonfly as someone whose “weaving” indicates the search for a mate.
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
To me, this offers a better chance for waka/tanka style linkage. It’s an autumn verse, according to its kigo content (scarecrow) but it does not seem to me to have a strongly autumnal feeling. Instead, it seems to present the scarecrow as a certain sort of character, perhaps wanting to impress someone.
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Laurie Greer
This one strikes me as offering more renga/renku opportunities. But it’s complex. Crow is not, in itself, a kigo though it is an ingredient in certain new year and winter kigo. Where I live, however, the congregation of crows in large groups is a late autumn phenomenon. So, it would be well if the capping verse contained a strong kigo, anchoring the entire piece in one season or another.
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
Tracy Davidson
I know, I said I would choose three verses. I want to throw this one in, too. It offers a different kind of linking challenge. The alliterative use of “s” sounds is so prominent that it must be dealt with in the capping verse; probably by alliteration using a different sound. But who knows.
THIS WEEK
Please offer a two line capping verse for any of these four opening verses. You can make up to five capping offers, on any combination of the openers.
You may offer a cap for your own verse if it is one of the above four but bear in mind that it will not be selected for the archive since collaboration is the soul of this work.
Present the opening verse along with your capping offer.
Enter your offers in the comments section, below, before midnight (Eastern US time) on Monday, September 26. On Thursday, September 29, I will select the capping verses for each of the four openers (which will be archived), perhaps making comments about some of the other offers, and present instructions for beginning another round of tan-renga in the following week.
Thank you, all,
John
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
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dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
forgiveness
the gates open wide
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
~Tracy Davidson
Paintings impart
…an arid canvas
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
the solace
of a salt marsh
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
he attempts to flee
farmer with gun
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple – Laurie Greer
.
a sniffer dog sorts
through the autumn leaves
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple – Laurie Greer
.
the sniffer dog nosing
through autumn leaves
.
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple – Laurie Greer
.
a sniffer dog digging
through damp autumn leaves
.
.
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
– Tracy Davidson
*
cries of one caught
in the crocodile’s embrace
– Betty Shropshire
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Laurie Greer
a child in a red coat
in the backstreets of Venice
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
my dentist asks me
to open wide
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
Tracy Davidson
another daub of crimson
added to my palette
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
a child runs in and out
of the fountain rainbow
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
– Laurie Greer
first to reserve a place
on the crime-writing workshop
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Laurie Greer
cover
for her first novel
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
rippling
still water
***
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Laurie Greer
icicles
weep
***
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
loses / confuses
the argument
***
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
Tracy Davidson
in memory
of the day’s mirage
or
our eyes
warm with wine
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
on the prom night
they meet each other
***
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Laurie Greer
a foreboding sign on
new year’s eve
***
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
the statesman speaks
as if from his grave
***
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
Tracy Davidson
sunburnt damsel
singing a soliloquy
(or)
camels conjoin
on the crimsoned track
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
every dog
has its day
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Laurie Greer
vigil on the beach
till dawn
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
Tracy Davidson
the undulation
of rolling hills
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
– Carol Jones
*
bombs away
as the chopper blades drone
– Betty Shropshire
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
I skip craft class
to go skydiving
Kanjini Devi
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone – Dan Campbell
in the background
crickets chirp – carol jones
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
~Carol Jones
the flight of the bumblebee
played by flutes and clarinets
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
~Carol Jones
at the student mixer
he meets his first girlfriend
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
~Dan Campbell
a sideshow barker entices
the crowd to enter
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
~Laurie Greer
the carillon rings out
on New Year’s Day
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
~Tracy Davidson
against the violet vista
white-winged wagtails
Congrats to Tracy, Dan, Dan, and Carol for verses worth capping!
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
*
spared the tears of Orihime
this Tanabata
*
can I retract/revise?
marginally less bad:
*
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
*
launching into the tale
of Tanabata
*
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
*
we ride out the storm
with tales of magic carpets
*
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds -Carol Jones
but she has promises to keep,
and miles to go before she sleeps
Sahara sand
deepening
the sunset – Tracy Davidson
“wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
do not go gentle into that good night”
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Father Brown takes a stab
at Christmas Mass
creaks as the weathercock
trims to the wind
**
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
chaff broadcast
by a fretful wind
**
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
the student’s first novel
remains unfinished
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
a flash of blue wings
and he stops
…
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
Tracy Davidson
lingering long
after the last goodbyes
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
– Laurie Greer
*
searching for plum blossoms
on outstretched limbs
– Betty Shropshire
dusk. . .
a murder of crows
circles the steeple – Laurie Greer
an even fall of snow
brightens the morning – carol jones
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple – Laurie Greer
laughing at the pigeons below
begging for crumbs on the sidewalk
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
– Tracy Davidson
*
I taste the dark red flesh
of a blood orange
– Betty Shropshire
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
– Dan Campbell
*
autumn’s voice swells with each
turn of the murmuration
– Betty Shropshire
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple. Nani Mariani
the throb of a distant
didgeridoo
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset – Tracy Davidson
love letters from home
pass in the post – carol jones
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
to be honest ..
i didn’t know you love me
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Laurie Greer
sound of sirens
clearing the streets
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds – Carol Jones
*
ladies’ soft voices
from the island gazebo
—
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds – Carol Jones
*
sunlight flashes
from the maid’s darning needle
—
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
life …
not as easy as turning the palm of the hand
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset -Tracy Davidson
*
my cat stretches
into sphinx pose
—————-
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset -Tracy Davidson
*
lisping Lily
whispers to her Sheik
—————-
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset –
Tracy Davidson
******
cruelest imprints
accompany empty pots
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Laurie Greer
*****
all upside hands
cold realm of ice
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
rice sparrows pick over
the stubbled fields
*
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
first prize in the raffle
announced by the vicar
*
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
the toll of a bell
over the empty square
*
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
meditation continues
late into the evening
This one is standing out & making me smile, Andrew. Just the right touch of humour, i.m.o. 🙂
.
*
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
first prize in the raffle
announced by the vicar
*
thanks Lorin.
🙂 I agree with your comment, Lorin.
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone – Dan Campbell
his address out shines
the moon – carol jones
dusk. . .
a murder of crows
circles the steeple – Laurie Greer
‘all are welcome’ sign
hidden by dew frost – carol jones
Thanks, John, for picking out my crows! The steeple they circle is at the National Cathedral, and they are there year round, where they are often mercilessly teased by mockingbirds.
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
*
that stiff grin
of the born ventriloquist
*
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
*
how he comes to life
to preach fire and brimstone
*
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
Tracy Davidson
*
on the firm ground
of a castle in the air
**
Wonderful selections!
.
.
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
with every turn
a symphony of light
.
.
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
inside the rustling wind
whispers of sweet nothings
.
.
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
… which of them
is the chosen one?
.
.
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
a skittering scorpion
raises its sting
.
.
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone – Dan Campbell
one more chorus
somewhere over the rainbow
*
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple – Laurie Greer
a dislodged icicle
pierces the priest
*
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple – Laurie Greer
even gargoyles shiver
at the approaching storm
*
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds – Carol Jones
she unpicks the holes
in his online profile
*
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset – Tracy Davidson
a hint of orange
in her daiquiri
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset – Tracy Davidson
sparkle of water
but, just a mirage …
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
Tracy Davidson
an old Ray Steven’s song
stuck in my head
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
meeting her parents
for the very first time
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
now here’s
Johnny
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Laurie Greer
the sun never sets on
her Majesties empire
or.
a world on the
precipice of war
I’l be capping the verses chosen one at the time. Congratulations, Dan, Laurie and Tracy.
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset – Tracy Davidson
essences of passion
sent by camel train – carol jones
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
— Carol Jones
flashing blue lights
in the red light district
—
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
— Laurie Greer
snowflakes seek
a place to rest
—
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
— Dan Campbell
another rock star’s
premature death
—
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
— Tracy Davidson
each breath the dust
of our forebears’ bones
[or]
a trickle of red
down the tank turret
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
a web of duck feet
on the swamp’s edge
Sorry…forgot to add Carol Jones’ name to the initial verse.
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
then ~
settles into melancholy
Nani Mariani
Big congrats to: Carol Jones, Dan Campbell, Laurie Greer and Tracy Davidson
Beautiful…
I learned a lot here …
Thank you to all of you 🌺🌺
Thank you, Nani.
I too have learnt a lot after reading John’s comments.
I’ve never done this before, nor tan renga, nor have I had the inclination the write tanka. But this looks interesting. 🙂
.
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset – Tracy Davidson
a long trail
of camel footprints
————
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds – Carol Jones
there’s so much water
so close to home (ref. to the story by Raymond Carver and the film Jindabyne.)
————-
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple – Laurie Greer
feathers rustling
in the rooky wood
—————–
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone -Dan Campbell
a channel click back
to the garden gurus
———-
Wonderful jobs Carol, Dan, Laurie and Tracy! Thanks John , for getting us started!
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
– Carol Jones
shadows
falling in line
*
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
– Dan Campbell
the baton passed
without mishap
*
dusk . . .
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
– Laurie Greer
arms and legs stretch wide
in formation
*
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
-Tracy Davidson
tracing outlines
of trees
2.
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
*
pop stars sing
we are the world
wendy c. bialek
nice picks, john
congrats to: Carol Jones, Dan Campbell, Laurie Greer and Tracy Davidson
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
*
darning partners
framed in stained glass
wendy c. bialek
2.
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
*
m j sings
we are the world
wendy c. bialek
3.
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Laurie Greer
*
boiling water for
tomorrow’s zooni
wendy c. bialek
4.
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
Tracy Davidson
*
a bronze and copper
braided birdbath
wendy c. bialek
Thank you, John, for placing one of my verses for capping, appreciated.
My offerings:
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
shrill sounds heard
somewhere down south
**
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
in the silhouette
the muezzin’s call
**
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
no wonder we could
listen to fairy tales
**
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
does the camel know
the language of silence
**
Lakshmi Iyer
Wonderful selections and instructions!
1.
hot spell
a dragonfly weaves
between the reeds
Carol Jones
*
late-night bars jammed
with bobbing heads
2.
scarecrow
holding the cornstalk
like a microphone
Dan Campbell
*
the same corny jokes
as last year’s
3.
dusk…
a murder of crows
circles the steeple
Laurie Greer
*
frontlines dug in
for the winter
4.
Saharan sand
deepening
the sunset
Tracy Davidson
*
a martyred hermit
bleeds his blessings