The Renku Sessions: Tan-Renga Invitation
Hello, everyone.
I have been impressed with the process of this most recent renku. Congratulations to Patricia for an excellent example of renku leadership and to all of you for your intense creativity. Also, great thanks to Jim and Robin for taking up my tasks over most of the course of this session.
It would be a shame to let this creative energy fizzle. To keep the pot simmering, I’m going to lead a couple weeks of tan-renga practice. I’ll be boarding a train for Seabeck on October 21 and returning on the 30th. There will be a couple of dark weeks while I’m traveling and then we will see (some of us more dimly than others) where we stand. Ideally, I will have a volunteer to lead a new session. I know that many of you would love to have Patricia continue, as would I. But this is a lot to ask. If there are others who might wish to step up, that would be most welcome.
So, tan-renga. We have done some of this in the past but for those of you who did not previously participate, tan-renga is a collaborative poem of just two verses. The first is one poet’s three lines and that is followed by a different poet’s two-line verse. As I mentioned in our earlier sessions, tan-renga can be looked upon as the shortest of renga/renku or it can be looked upon as a collaborative tanka.
Below are three verses from the new edition of Upstate Dim Sum (currently at the printer, to be mailed in early November). You are invited to offer two-line verses to follow any or all of these starters. When submitting your offers please include the starting verse, followed by your two lines..
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
Here are a couple of things to think about when writing your two-line verses:
- If you approach this like a short renku, your linking verse can be very close – an extension of the same scene or action.
- If you approach it as a collaborative tanka your linking verse can work with the emotional quality of the opening verse, either extending it or presenting a contrast. Representing either a single voice or a second, responding voice.
And, to get the most out of these two weeks, please consider offering your own three line starting verses, from which I will select three for us to work with next week.
Here are a couple of thoughts about these starting verses:
- Like haiku / hokku, the first verse of a tan-renga should have a strongly open quality, inviting “more” from the capping verse.
- If you are aiming for the “collaborative tanka” approach it can be helpful to think of your opener as a “love verse.”
Please enter your offers in the comment box, below, between now and midnight eastern US time on Tuesday, October 15th.
Have fun,
John (Stevenson)
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
Comments (271)
Comments are closed.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
because
my house is very far
—
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
hesitant
to ask for something
—-
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
at this time
prices are soaring
This is my offer for the upcoming Tan Renga 🙏
oh my love
why do you have a gloomy face
i have come
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
–Susan Yavaniski
after the operation
her activities decreased
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
i remember
my ex-in-law
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
in the middle of the night
praying
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
puddle reflections
distort my smile
boots caked with earth
trudging towards home
spring’s first butterfly
lands on my shoulder
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
graphite smudges
on love letters
margins filled
with doodles and dreams
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
fragrant petals
on an overflowing plate
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
to infuse fragrance
on mummy linens
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
sooths the crying
infant
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
laying the foundation
for a cancer hospital
* * *
Future 3-line offering:
watercolor
portrait of a soul
cherry bl0ossoms
* * * *
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
the last dance
of a drunken honey bee
a honey bee
emerges from the blues
honey bees
drunk on fermented nectar
Diana Ming Jeong
some more offers for future opening verses:
autumn dusk
the bump
i drive over
*
hummingbird
lyrics
almost finished
*
nearly wingless
where does
the hummingbird fly
scent of lilac
I take more
than I need
Shawn Blair
*
recalculating
the margin of error
*
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
*
bursting bubbles
with every answer
*
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
*
pinched clay
ready for the kiln
*
*
and/or:
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
*
pinched pot
ready for the kiln
*
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
— Susan Yavaniski
raining
inside me
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
inviting you
within this starry night
Joanna Ashwell
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
the curve
of ocean moon
Joanna Ashwell
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
pitching my way
into the ragwort
Joanna Ashwell
Future 3-line offering:
uncovering mosaics
buried three thousand years
spring light
* * * *
Future 3-line offering:
a Rosetta stone
decoding hieroglyphics
and Martian
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
charity
for the home-bound
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
conceals
her super-hero id
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
changing costumes
to be a super-hero
* * *
Future 3-line offering:
this arboretum
a living memorial
spirits of the dead
.
.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
.
Shawn Blair
.
.
eyes narrow
beneath the burqa
.
.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
.
Shawn Blair
.
.
note the capital ‘G’
in God
.
.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
.
Shawn Blair
.
.
falling in love with Whitman
again
.
.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
–Shawn Blair
dizzy flight
of the bumblebee
…….
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
–John Stevenson
young boy in love
top in the spelling bee
…….
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
—Susan Yavaniski
ace spy recruited
by a honeytrap
……
Offers:
house cat
only as far
as the corner
workday sun
a wasp
in the marmalade
winter sale
everything
must go
Love the “winter sale” Keith
Keith, ditto, i agree with Biswajit
Thank you, Biswajit and Wendy. Sometimes, these things are staring you in the face!
sharp pencil
her soft
voice – John Stevenson
a ray
of light
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
tucked away
with the linens
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
more deadly
than a bullet
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
posing nude
in the art studio
* * *
Future 3-line offering:
her poems
conservative
white linens
* * * *
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need ——–Shawn Blair
day-old deli bread
for the duck pond
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
tissues
to wipe tears
_
wholesale
toilet paper
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
curses
the chalk
_
curses
the wager sheet
Hello! What a wonderful invitation!
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
mom’s little extra
hidden in a fold
*
untouched collection
of hotel mini soaps
*
car keys slipped
after curfew
***
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
full moon bathes
the tree planters’ camp
*
a gardener’s delight
overflowing her balcony
(Balcony bra).
***
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
some words
even Freud can’t explain
*
etched words
out of Freud’s realm
*
hitting the high note
at the grad speech
*
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
aromas of fresh baked bread
fill the cottage
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
commands
scholars
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
shaping bread loaves
of the ovens
* * *
My Future 3-liner offering:
in mid-journey
plotting a new course
spring dawn
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season……………………….Susan Yavaniski
picking up heavy
duty D batteries
😂 Oh Wendy!
glad you got a good laugh, diana!
possible opening verses
ashes
in a box on a shelf
where to next
_____
echoes …
pockmarks
in the wall
____
glancing
at my fingernails …
“Next”
____
fire deep
in the belly churns
lava flows
____
pants split
doing the watusi
colour me red
thanks ever so much for this opportunity
Dinah
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
next
time
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season………………………. Susan Yavaniski
even this verse
slips away
This is nice and I also love the word play of “slip”.
thanks, Biswajit….i like playing with words, too!
scent of lilacs
I take more
than I need Shawn Blair
mom’s love
never ending
____
sharp pencil
her soft
voice John Stevenson
eases
the edit strokes
_____
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season Susan Yavaniski
_____
rains cleanse
cobwebs of my mind
sharp pencil
her soft
voice———————John Stevenson
almost all gone
the grey kneaded eraser
*
almost gone
the grey kneaded eraser
sharp pencil
her soft
voice———–John Stevenson
the call number
of howl
*
the dewey decimal number
of leaves of grass
*
the dewey decimal number
of walden pond
*
the call number of a coney
island of the mind
Potential three line starting verses:
barefoot path –
your name circles
the night air
*
a single petal
caught between
fingertips
*
in the stillness
your gaze
opens everything
C.X. Turner
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
in the distance
bees abandon the last bloom
C.X. Turner
*
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
I forget
how to hold her name
C.X. Turner
*
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
the river swells
carrying yesterday downstream
C.X. Turner
Offers for the future opening verse:
a fox shrieks
in the night
she turns over
hunting for breakfast
magpie climbs
the ladder
rare steve
in the sky
as lucy takes a break
after the squirrel
a sapling
in the planter
or
after the squirrel
a welcome
surprise
overnight
she weaves a garden
into being
walking
the same streets yet
each time is different
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
— Shawn Blair
this time
around
My Future 3-liner offering:
the ocean floods
my beachfront home
clouds on the horizon
* * *
Future 3-liner:
in town square
father joseph
rings the angelus
* * * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
the old man’s touch
slapped away
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
surprised my elderly neighbor
and her empty vases
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
did she just tell us
to tear the seal?
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
— Shawn Blair
waiting
for clarity
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
in the bordello
the ladies smile
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
a seduction
that draws me in
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
putting on the ritz
a deceitful act
* * *
the angelus summons
faitful believers
* * *
Future 3-liner:
navigating stars
we search for a new home
river of heaven
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
kids enjoy
being more creative
—
outdoor games
are so much fun
—
my grandson laughs
showing off his dirty clothes
—-
kids enjoy
with the natural environment
sharp pencil
her soft
voice – John Stevenson
whispers
secret recipes
hums
secret melodies
buzzes
like honeybees
I tried to send a 3-liner offering:
doves
decorating the horizon
welcoming 2024
Nani Mariani
sharp pencil
her soft
voice—————-—John Stevenson
worn sharpie
his potty mouth
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
preserving samples
in medical labs
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
reading the history
of political division
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
with the girls I share
details of my date
* * *
My Future 3-liner offering:
is the price of eggs
greater than the cost of tariffs?
ask Lamont Cranston
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –———-John Stevenson
his first lesson
in braille
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –———-John Stevenson
describes a face
as i sketch the rapist
*
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –———-John Stevenson
sketches
the rapist
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season – Susan Yavaniski
so many buds
never brave enough to bloom
a frozen jockstrap
hanging on the clothesline
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
lulling the infant
to sleep
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
my doctor writes
a new prescription
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
lulls the infant
to sleep
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
harvesting melons
in the hot sun
* * *
My Future 3-liner offering:
balloon men
hand out free samples
gypsies come to town
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season – Susan Yavaniski
counting footprints
between the stars
following footprints
leading to the castle
footprints following
the moonbeams
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
.
John Stevenson
.
.
the sound of starlight
from the mouth of the river, too
very lovely, pk!
Thanks Wendy!
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
early to work, a bee
about the cotoneaster
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
V.good beneath a gold star
first exercise book
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
going it alone
a robin sings up dawn
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
—John Stevenson
missing without
a note
missing
a note
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
— Shawn Blair
with apples
with honey
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
sending the surplus
to the poor house
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
in the library
reference stacks
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
planting new starts
in the greenhouse
* * *
My Future 3-liner offering:
humming birds’
beaks deep in nectar
crimson sunset
* * * * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
all in a pile
on the thrashing floor
or sp.
all in a pile
on the threshing floor
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
whispers
hateful words
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
strung out on
the motel bed
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
she leaves as my erection
turns three hours old
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
a transgender man
wins an off-road race
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
the lotus emerges
pretty in pink
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
– John Stevenson
her terms should she
be first to go
My three-line starter suggestion
flight changes
a couple of robins hang back
in our neighborhood
Sorry everyone, now I notice my multiple postings. Since I did not see them yesterday, I kept on repeating.
sharp pencil
her soft
voice (John Stevenson)
draws me in
–
blurs the lines
–
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
my silence (John Stevenson)
Welcome home John Stevenson!
.
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
.
Susan Yavaniski
.
gazing up
at the blossom sky
.
.
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
.
Susan Yavaniski
.
the urge to pluck
strings and blossoms
.
.
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
.
Susan Yavaniski
.
pure white
the blossom snow
.
.
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
.
Susan Yavaniski
.
blossom wind
ah! there goes my religion
.
.
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
.
Susan Yavaniski
.
still fresh
imprints fill with blossom
.
.
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
.
Susan Yavaniski
.
tongues out
to blossom snow
.
.
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
.
Susan Yavaniski
.
where the cuckoo sings
that’s where the blossom is born
.
.
love ‘blossom wind’ one, pk!
:)
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
_ –John Stevenson
teaching our sons
baseball scoring
teaching drawing
to students
teaching how
to create shadows
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
— Shawn Blair
during a downpour
I am the shelter
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
rainbow
in the distance
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
more comforting
than others
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
it’s not the first time
jack and jill went up the hill
* * *
Future 3-liner:
in the beauty salon
she gets a new hairdo
spring cleaning
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need – Shawn Blair
the dusk holds
nothing but their echo.
time slows
wrapped in the fragrance of yesterday
names fade
but fragrances remain
hearts
bloom
shadows stretch
before they disappear
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
– John Stevenson
headlong
into a shady evening
effort 2
gilded leaves
the unique essence
of friendship
offer No 1
watercourse
nymphs emerge
into sunlight
Shawn Blair
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
wearing mother’s makeup
too much rouge
**
Shawn Blair
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
glass half empty
glass half full
**
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
sleeve caught
in his zipper
**
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
summer in the quarry
skinny dipping
Here are my seed verses for next week’s consideration :
1
diorama
of clouds against
a vast expanse
2
bokeh of lights
approaching fast
judging my lane
3
face to face
with returning rains
lone traveller
“bokeh of lights” is interesting, Sarang! At first I thought you were misspelling ‘bouquet’, but a vague instinct drew me to look deeper. Sure enough:
“What is bokeh?
Bokeh is a word with Japanese origins, defined as “the way the lens renders out-of-focus points of light.” The word comes from the Japanese word boke (暈け or ボケ), which means “haze” or “blur.” (The “h” was introduced to help English speakers pronounce the word correctly [BO – KEH].) It’s a subjective term — for example, “that image has good bokeh” — that generally refers to the aesthetic quality of an image’s background blur.
—
Thanks for showing me something new, Sarang! :-)
I’d suggest that you add the indefinite article to your L1 and consider some other possibilities for your L3. ( Lights of any kind aren’t capable of judgement. People are. Perhaps, these days, some AI things are, too, but that’s beyond my territory.)
“a bokeh of lights
approaching fast
(L3. . . ??? ) “
Thanks for your comment Lorin. Yes, bokeh is a distinctive feature of camera lens that creates out of focus light shapes often circles or sometimes hexagons depending on how the diaphragm elements of the lens are arranged. I’m glad you liked it and took the pain to explore it further. I used it in context of driving a car with a weak eyesight and seeing fast approaching cars with headlights from opposite direction thereby by quickly judging and adjusting my own driving lane. Sometimes with limited words intended expression becomes challenging and that’s where true craftsmanship standout. I’m still working on these subtle refinements. I appreciate your suggestion , here’s another version which maybe slightly more acceptable in its context :
a bokeh of lights
approaching fast
adjusting my specs
Or maybe this :
a bokeh of lights
approaching fast
I shift to slow lane
does this work better ?
Kind regards ,
a bokeh of lights
approaching fast —
adjusting my specs
I can certainly relate to this version. :-) From the exotic (well, exotic to me, uneducated in photography and filming as I am) to the mundane reality of adjusting one’s specs. :-)
There’s a contrast in register (see sociolinguistics) which has me smiling. :-)
Very nicely done, indeed, i.m.o. , Sarang
hi Sarang,
(perhaps you saw the conversation on ‘bokeh’
Diana and i had in Patricia’s Side Show Renku
on the 19th day, ….)
in ref. to your #2 submission
“bokeh of lights”
i have no problems with your line as your wrote it for line 1.
i would add the article ‘a’ if it were to appear on
line 2 or line 3.
for example:
hard rain
a bokeh of lights
flickers across my windshield
or
hard rain
flickering across my windshield
a bokeh of lights
what i would focus attention on:
no repeating the ‘ing’ (unless it is being used creatively to create a sound, vibration emphasis)
and more importantly….
leaving your verse open-ended, leaving an open hook to link on:
for example…..letting the reader/linker finish off the results/end the story as they want to end it.
as in yours….let the reader/linker “judge the lane, change the lane, shift to another lane, freeze up/ crash, etc.”
John Stevenson being the host and master sabaki really makes the calls here….
these a just my own raindrops!
bokeh of lights
approaching fast
judging my lane
Sarang Bhand
written just the way this is, imo, will work as a nice haiku (if you eliminate one “ing’)
i automatically pause/cut/break at the end of line 2.
so the “judging” it done by the person sitting in the vehicle.
Point noted. Thanks & regards
In this case of bokeh, I wouldn’t go so literal with all three lines for the situation. I’d go for the impact, so to speak.
my life
flashed before my eyes
bokeh of lights
That’s wonderful, Diana.
Thanks & regards
You’re welcome Sarang!
Reading it out loud just now, it could also be:
my life
flashing before my eyes
bokeh of lights
L2 could be referencing L1 and also L3
:)
Diana
Thanks, Lorin and Wendy. I didn’t need to look “bokeh” up.
A beautiful poem Sarang and I agree with Wendy’s suggestion.
Point noted sir :) Thanks and regards.
correction: not haiku…senryu
Sarang’s verse imo is a good senryu,
his object was to illustrate in words, what he experiences
(using an eyesight weakness, the lens of the eye, rather than a camera lens) to get the bokeh effect, with the oncoming headlights, which i think is ingenious! Sarang emphasis is on what he can do, calmly, to prevent a crash. We don’t know if the prevention was successful.
so in that way….we are left on a cliff.
….mine is closer to haiku, since it has a nature element. the hard rain,
here i use each raindrop to act as curved lens to recreate the same bokeh effect….however, i left it open ended.
Diana’s is a senryu, and imo expresses quite well, the drama angle,
as she identifies with/ emphasizes the feelings of fear associated
with a near-death experience and its aftermath.
my life
flashed before my eyes
bokeh of lights
Diana Ming Jeong
which could be reduce to:
life
flashes before my eyes
bokeh of lights
and
life
flashes before me
bokeh of lights
So glad Diana and Biswajit have joined the conversation
now with at least three photographers….i believe.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
sweets for the sweet
ashes for the dead
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
woos
giants
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
the duality of life
rich today, dirt-poor the next
* * *
keeping my eyes open
on the desert trail
thunder in the clouds
endless licks
wet my petting hand
little black beauty
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
smothered by
her dangling hair
____________________________
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
redwood topples
deafening
__________________________________
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
modesty
flung away
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
a redwood topples
deafening
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season–————– Susan Yavaniski
one splash glazes
a sculptor bronze
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need – Shawn Blair
for this one
nightstand
My Future 3-liner offering:
cats in love
sign calling cards
spring night
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
a template
for kissing
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
bees pollinate
new plants
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
handing out surpluses
to city folk
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
museum display
of old fashions
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
in a breeze
sheets bob
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
spring blossoms
in the road
Welcome back John!!!
sharp pencil
her soft
voice – John Stevenson
old letters
stored in the attic
reading her letters
with bifocals now
shoeboxes of letters
by the attic window
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
preserving fossils
for museums
My Future 3-line offering:
thwak . . .
the sound of a third out
ends inning eight
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season (– Susan Yavaniski)
as kids we made
our special pies
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season (– Susan Yavaniski)
at Carnivàle Park
—
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need – (Shawn Blair)
of new ume chuhai – (Lorin Ford)
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
— Susan Yavaniski
poison hemlock
spreading along the fence
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
– John Stevenson
a drink to take
the edge off
*********
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
– Susan Yavaniski
Dolly performs
at the fair
Debbie, I love Dolly performs
at the fair
Thank you, Pamela! I saw a documentary about Dolly and she was trying to comfort the folks at the fair she was to sing at, about all their mud! Haha!
scent of lilac
I take
more than I need
– Shawn Blair
red-tailed hawk eyes
the sparrows
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
loose change fills up
a homeless man’s palm
gifting Leaves of Grass
to another new friend
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
a crushed-on teacher
marks my essay in red
the young school nurse
extracts a graphite point
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
in a rugby scrum
atop a tomboy
at the laundromat
sorting lights from darks
a ceiling fan
slows to a stop
autumn’s here
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
— Shawn Blair
filling the blanks
in my ‘romantical’ dream
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
a muse
releases his muzzle
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season– Susan Yavaniski
eyes undress me
leaving no tracks
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season – Susan Yavaniski
ploughshares part
the soil
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need – Shawn Blair
at the garage sale
free items
*
a fox
in the chicken shed
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
– Susan Yavaniski
apple pies crimped
around the edges
good to have you back john,
it’s like coming home again.
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
brains vs
brawn
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
brains &
brawn, too!
So so glad to have you back , John! Thank you for another fun challenge! We missed you!
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
gentle brook burps
in the colour gurgle
or more briefly:
gentle brook burps
the colour gurgle
I love this — the color gurgle!
thanks, pamela
so you are attracted to synesthesia, too!
scent of lilac
I take more
than I need
*
hoarding another
deep breath
*
no one calls it
hoarding
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
ambitious maid
jobless for dusting bees
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
ambitious maid
dusting bees’ bellies
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need Shawn Blair
from the swollen river
a crow takes a sip
*
sharp pencil
her soft
voice John Stevenson
bursts
my bubble
edit to the first one (repetition of ‘take’)
*
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
*
into the swollen river
a crow dips its beak
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
just one snap
from freedom’s ecstasy
briefer:
just one snap
from ecstasy
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
*
clothes crusted
with pie-tasting stains
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
if you’re selling puppies
i pick the one with a pink nose
if this is too long:
puppy selling? i pick
the one with a pink nose
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
*
John Stevenson
*
the progress of erasures
along the desk edge
*
only a napkin
for the note
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
spring like
Mary Poppins’ bag
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
worker bees
returns with pollen
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
reminder
carry a big stick
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
colorful plumage
of avian males
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
catching a note
mid-air
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
the tide collecting
crab doodles
Welcome back, John. So glad your eyesight is improving. Thanks for continuing the fun of Renku Sessions.
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
working side by side
with my Enjoli woman
.
working beside
his Enjoli woman
.
after clearing brush
we shower together
.
afterwards we shower
together
A couple of potential starter verses:
into the blue
a whale face to face
with a freediver
scarecrow festival
my ‘Scream’ themed entry
scares more than crows
Here are my responses to the seeds:
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
endless sneezing
a pollen allergy
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
ringing ears
shrill school bell
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
monk goes past
seeking alms
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
wrestling
over the remote control
OR
wrestling over pants
in the January sales
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
the new will
signed on her deathbed
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
to be or not to be
his audition monologue
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
an explosion
of bath bombs
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
a summer breeze
takes my hand
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
ceramic maker
receives orders from abroad
Nani Mariani
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
buffalo
helping grandfather in the rice field
Nani Mariani
Hi
Nani Mariani
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
climb street lamp post to view the Planet’s second moon
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
mona lisa’s smiles back
in the polished mirror
I’m answering one poem at a time to avoid technical issues. Sorry if it adds to the clutter John…
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
eraser dust the ghost
of my haiku
Excited for tan renga:)
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
then again even the moon
isn’t spotless
a keeper, Orense!
Orense, coming to this now after days of “other stuff” (so you may not even get to read my comment in 6tme). I don’t know where in the world you are, but I’m in Southern Australia (yes down there with the penguins etc.) and I get mixed up with international date times.
Despite all that, I want to let you know that your verse addition (“then again even the moon
isn’t spotless” has me smiling. :-) ) Probably, in my opinion, losing “then again” would only enhance the main point. I think we can take the “then again” for granted. I do like the humour about the moon, its shape etc. (The moon, & the Moon Rabbit stirring the pot, is clearly visible through my skylight tonight.)
So, could you quickly post a version without “then again” ?
“a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season – – (Susan Yavaniski_)
even the moon
isn’t spotless ”
Anyway, I admire this one a lot. :-)
Hmm, seems like it just doesn’t like the repetition of the three poems.
Here are some options:
1. scent of lilacs
the sky inside
a purple haze
2. sharp pencil
the notes we pass
back and forth
3. a lacy bra
almost ready
for our bubble bath
***
3-line possibilities:
echoing
through the wind
a peacock alarm
crows
in bare trees
a gathering
I’m so excited to see you back, John! What a fun new project you’ve got for us.
I tried to post my options for all three, but like so many, they didn’t appear after submitting. Please let us know (once you discover it) what’s the best way to proceed.
Eavonka, have you gone down to the bottom of the thread, where you can see “post comment”?
You do need to put your name & email address in the required boxes, but THF will keep these confidential.
Post your additions to all 3 verses that John has given within the comment box and fill in your name and email address (& website if you have one).
I will look for your verses on the thread tomorrow AEST (AEST = Australian Eastern Standard Time, to see if this has worked. You can adjust AEST to whatever the time it coincides with, wherever you are
Yes, Lorin, that’s exactly what I was doing. Myself and many others had issues submitting yesterday. It seems to have been due to the system thinking they were duplicates because we were all using all three starter poems. They simply did not show up at all (until we changed what we were submitting).
I’m overjoyed you are well enough to lead us again, John! I envy you your train trip to Seabeck.
Here are some options:
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
the sky inside
a purple haze
***
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
the notes we pass
back and forth
***
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
almost ready
for our bubble bath
***
3-line possibilities:
echoing
through the wind
a peacock alarm
crows
in bare trees
a gathering
don’t know if this opening verse has been completed by Laurie Greer…
but if it has not been decided yet, here’s yet another offer:
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
—John Stevenson
reveals
a thick lead
Wendy, if John Stevenson had intended to post any acceptances from any of the submitted part of any of this week’s tan renga, he would have (in my view) let us know. I believe it would be unusual, though, for him to publish any acceptances before the first week had passed, just as it would’ve been unusual if Patricia had accepted a renku verse before the stated time-frame was up.
Yes, my comment to Laurie was just me participating for fun. Although it was also, perhaps, a hint about what I would like to see in a capping verse – brief and punchy.
thanks for the clarification, John,
i did get that hint….and made some revisions
however, in the back of my mind,
i wanted to a show a polite
respect to Laurie had her verse been your choice…
i’m glad to have made
the inquiry so we can all be on the same page.
Working on it, John!
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
— Shawn Blair
at the smorgasbord
exercising my free-will
Since posting the three starting poems with my responses did not work, I am going to post my three poems which are in sequential order of Shawn’s, John’s and Susan’s poems
… more than I need
only quarter
for the tip-jar
….voice
hard to find
downtown parking
…mud season
in the pond floating
patterns of poplar leaves
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
only a quarter
for the tip-jar
Sorry for the typo in the first one.
here is the revised response to Shawn’s poem
…. more than I need
only a quarter
for the tip-jar
My Future 3-line offerings:
harvest moon
the freedom to choose
a rough diamond
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need –Shawn Blair
decorations for the drab
orphanage rooms
* * *
sharp pencil
her soft
voice –John Stevenson
a welcome change
to my wife’s shrieks
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season –Susan Yavaniski
time to discover
which garb is the real me
* * *
So Sorry.. 🙏
I have sent it but it is not in the posting list, I will repeat it again So Sorry!
Thank you
—
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
this is reality sometimes
hard to control lust
Nani Mariani
Hm, I tried to post mine but I don’t see it! This is my 2nd attempt.
Hello and Welcome Back John! I am happy you are healing and recovering! 💐
Here are my link offerings.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
lifelong belongings
washed away
*
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
echoes
in dissonance
*
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
cotton wadding
lines the robin’s nest
Hello and Welcome Back John! I am happy you are healing and recovering! 💐
Here are my link offerings.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
lifelong belongings
washed away
*
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
echoes
in dissonance
*
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
cotton wadding
lines the robin’s nest
Future 3-line offering:
dressed in my castoffs
scarecrow tetters in the wind
cusp of change
lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
and even
down to my hair
Nani Mariani
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
has a character
very disciplined
Nani Mariani
John, it’s such a relief for me to find you posting again and also preparing for one of your train trips. May all go well.
I’m very, very glad you’re back. Many thanks for setting up a tan renga option to keep the Haiku Foundation Renku days rolling along..
It’s 8:52 am, nearly office time in Melbourne this sunny (for a change) spring morning. Here are my
entries:
1.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need — (Shawn Blair)
another hazy day
of sneezes
—
2.
sharp pencil
her soft
voice — (John Stevenson)
blurring the lines between teacher and student
—
3.
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt — (Susan Yavaniski)
the French baker’s cupcakes
perfectly moist
—
. . . and again, taking a better note of where the cuts in verses 1 & 2 are, this time.
1.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need — (Shawn Blair)
—
(a)
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
despite my sneezes
—
(b)
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
of the Dior samples
————–
2.
sharp pencil
her soft
voice — (John Stevenson)
—
(a)
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
conceals her forked tongue
–
(b).
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
belies a sharp percipience
—
3.
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt — (Susan Yavaniski)
–
(a) (my favourite)
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt —
the French baker’s cupcakes
perfectly moist
—
or (b) (yuk!)
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
the French baker’s cupcakes
perfectly moist
plus (later) some more:
—
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt (— Susan Yavaniski )
now serves as a swaddle
for five blind kittens
—
sharp pencil ( — (John Stevenson)
her soft
voice
explains all the angles
—
scent of lilac (— Shawn Blair)
I take more than I need
for lilac tea
Really like your “blurring the lines…” Lorin
like this one, too…Lorin and John (H)!
Thanks, John (Hawkhead) Now I’ll try to find the damned verse!
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
— Susan Yavaniski
out of my rubber-soled boots
more lace
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
—John Stevenson
in her hand
a litany of insults
in her little hand
a litany of insults
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
the wash of waves
on a warm beach
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
ready for all changes
the young and the restless
Thank you John for this fun challenge with old friends!
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
—John Stevenson
hatch marks
shifts in value
lost in silence
the glare
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
clinging to
the breakup
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
another quarter
fades the tire tracks
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
*
just north
of gently used
*
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
*
John Stevenson
*
getting the shadings
just right
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
*
John Stevenson
*
getting the shadings
just right
*
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
• Shawn Blair
only a quarter
for the tip-jar
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
• John Stevenson
hard to find
downtown parking
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
• Susan Yavaniski
in the pond floating
patterns of poplar leaves
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
-Shawn Blair
a pickpocket unearthed
among the crowd
Welcome back to the flock, John.
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
– John Stevenson
2b or not
to be
LOL!!!! Carol
Thanks, Wendy.
Clever, Carol. :-)
Thanks, Lorin. I’d been sketching with that very pencil before I looked in on the site. A lovely surprise to see John is on the mend, and keeping us going with this Tan-Renga. Happy days :)
“… I’d been sketching with that very pencil …” – Carol
Serendipity, then! :-)
:) yes. If only this happened a bit more often where composing verses are concerned.
Sorry, if it shows up twice but I could not see it the first time I posted, so I am posting again.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
• Shawn Blair
only a quarter
for the tip-jar
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
• John Stevenson
hard to find
downtown parking
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
• Susan Yavaniski
in the pond floating
patterns of poplar leaves
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
please, change
m answer to yes
* * *
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
to plant bulbs
for delicate blooms
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
my companion
utters, “Ohhh!”
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
*
mad money
safely tucked away
*
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
*
hoping not to add a slip
to the ensemble
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
climb a lamp post
to view the second moon
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
all gratitude
hugs granpa
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
the same dark henna
tattoos our hearts
re-worked:
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
deep henna
tattoos our hearts
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
the days of mothers
stolen from me
re-worked:
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
mother’s days
stolen from me
Welcome back, John — we are all very pleased to see you here again.
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
*
putting their heads together
for 23 down
*
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
*
between us a back and forth
of erasures
*
Laurie,
What to you think of:
our mutual
erasures
As you may know, I like to make things a simple as possible.
It’s fine–just different. I was picturing the erasures themselves in a kind of conversation, a “back and forth,” and also the interlocutors erasing each other. But of course the short and simple is always appealing!
scent of lilac
I take more
than I need
*
the gentle buzz
of hyperventilation
*
a deep breath
then a sneeze
scent of lilac
I take more
than I need
*
the sugar that helps
the medicine go down
scent of lilac
I take more
than I need
*
addicted to the sweet pangs
of withdrawal
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
midway in the memoirs
she points out her rapist
re-worked:
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
points out
the rapist
Maybe it will come up in this space:
*
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
*
addicted to the sweet pangs
of withdrawal
*
the sugar that helps
the medicine go down
*
the gentle buzz
of hyperventilation
*
a deep breath
followed by a sneeze
**
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
*
between us a back and forth
of erasures
*
putting their heads together
for 23 down
**
i sent in a post but it has disappeared!
in fact two since that one have vanished
Laurie,
Are you using a phone to submit?
no, a computer. these short ones come through, but not the ones with verses
strange!
try again, maybe placing a sentence on top first…
good luck!
i did hear some people on the net have been complaining having trouble posting with phones….maybe due to sun flares.
I tried smaller messages. That seems to have done the trick
Whew1
One of mine, also, hasn’t appeared. Will try again in the morning.
scent of lilacs
I take more
than I need
Shawn Blair
it won’t fill the void
left by her
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
in the classroom
daydreaming again
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
contact sport
it brings me luck
Hi
I am happy with helping out if you need assistance. There may be others out there who you may prefer. I would love to give it a go. Be on the other side of the fence.
Hi John, for some reason my attempts to post this haven’t materialised. If it comes up more than once, my apologies!
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
emptying her room
of pastel shades
I am having the same issue.
This comment was posted but the poems are not showing up when I try to post them now, I get a pop-up saying those are duplicates.
Biswajit,
this makes sense to me. the system is programed to reject what
appears to be duplicate posts.
so…..if you post the same starting poem as someone just did before you….its knee-jerk reaction sees it as a duplicate post.
Oh I see , thank you Wendy. I will try again writing something else before it.
It still does not work. I have been trying since morning. I am going to post my three poems and see if this works
A proposed opener:
family fables
taking a pair of scissors
to a bank of fog
family fables
taking a pair of scissors
to a bank of fog
John Hawkhead
adding paper and a rock
for who walks the dog
Robert Kingston
Robert,
We will be writing capping verses for some of these new three line offers next week but for now I ask that you only work with the three verses in my original post. I don’t mean to dampen the enthusiasm but I need to keep this simple because my current (and perhaps permanent) limitations of vision make it likely that I will get lost if the sharing gets more complicated.
Apologies and acknowledged, John. Nice to see you back.
Pretty sure I saw a”hello” from you, John (Hawkhead) but all I can find at present is a long trail of Wendy C. Bialeks and Laurie Greers.
Hello again, anyway. :-) I’m glad you still post the bee/ moth/ butterfly/ blowfly…
Welcome back and safe travels, John. I’m glad your recovery is going well. Here are three two-liners and one three-liner.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
the cosmetics clerk
arches an eyebrow
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
walking home
I carry her books
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
laundry after
lovemaking
airport lounge
a closing of the eyes
takes me anywhere
richard,
“the cosmetic clerk” one is so much fun!
Thanks, Wendy!
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
another day
at the coal face
Welcome back and safe travels, John. I’m glad your recovery is going well.
Here are three two-liners and one three-liner.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
the cosmetics clerk
arches an eyebrow
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
walking home
I carry her books
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
laundry after
lovemaking
airport lounge
a closing of the eyes
takes me anywhere
I apologize for my duplicate submission. I thought this first one wasn’t accepted.
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
emptying her room
of pastel shades
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
paw prints leading
up the garden path
—–
nice, paw! john
offer for future, opening verse:
going over a bump
i swallow
the cherry pit
and:
going over a bump
the cherry pit
i swallowed
so happy to hear your voice again, John…Congrats on your new book!
We shall ease into it….with a great idea and fun, (less-committal) activity…let’s go….tan-renga!
scent of lilacs
I take
more than I need
Shawn Blair
tangled up
in blue
*
sharp pencil
her soft
voice
John Stevenson
“there’s no point
to go on”
*
a lacy bra
beneath my filthy shirt
mud season
Susan Yavaniski
fallen pie-eyed
again