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The Renku Sessions: Side Show – Week 7

renku_300

 

Hello, Everyone—Well, you continue to amaze me with your writing. It’s a pleasure to read your offerings, but again this week making a choice was difficult. I did feel from the start that this next verse should have some people in it so I think you will find my long list biased in that direction:


staged for joys & passions
falling rice on newly-weds

Attard Francis

 

the fanfare ending
also begins the hunt

pole vault competitors’
hug viewed worldwide

Pamela Garry

 

the conductor tells from
their grins they’re eloping

scrambling for a letter
of safe conduct

how to translate from one
dead language to another

hearing both sides
on the Anthropocene

awaiting developments
on the ever after

from their two-part harmony
one true paradise

the old harmonies
dwindle to a monotone

the orcas out
to settle old scores

keeping all his secrets
in a second language

making one filmy veil
do the work of seven

Laurie Greer

 

anti scientists go
tilting at windmills

Jackie Maugh Robinson

 

a mole lifts soil
during the graveside service

a toast
to the young couple

wherever we go
Kilroy was here

Carol Jones

 

beautiful Eros evokes
troubles for Gods and mortals

may I have this dance
for the rest of life?

a prophetic path
to enduring love

a glance that speaks volumes
words can never convey

I wake every morning
at your side for twenty years

the anthem ring of sirens
alerts the town to wildfires

after carillon bells ring
smoke creeps up the valley

the scale of change evolves
into new culture boundaries

a fanfare for genetic
life-saving intervention

early morning exercise
at the senior center

in the concert hall attire
is come as you are dressed

John Daleiden

 

with pin-pricked palms
a poet sees his words

a fine wine picked here
and sipped off alien’s lips

Wendy C. Bialek

 

the eagle has landed
on top of the tallest pine

on my way to you
one small step at a time

I fear you close by;
I love you far away

where one can no longer love
there one should pass by

in the end one experiences
only oneself

Was that life?
Well then! Once more!

Jonathan Alderfer

 

in every plaza
a soapbox and a waltz

Clysta Seney

 

knick knack paddy whack
give the former president a fact

Alison Woolpert

 

waking to the dulcet tones
of a cement grinder

Eavonka Ettinger

 

Four storm riders
quicken in the dawning

Dick Pettit

 

the kids making out
lose track of the plot

Richard Straw

 

thoroughly completely
and inexorably confused

the past looms large in
the not-too-distant future

Michael Henry Lee

 

a pelican splashes down
in the tranquil sea

Dan MacDonald

 

my teenage son
stays in bed till noon

andrew shimield

 

it’s amazing how far shadows stretch
when they’re waving goodbye

“Today, from a distance,
I saw you walking away,”

she sure looked cute
in a parachute

empty swings
seem so sad and silent

Dan Campbell

 

she practices her pirouettes
on the kitchen floor

i didn’t see it before
but now i see my Dad everywhere

Diana Ming Jeong

 

bewitched by the siren
call of the wild

his buzz cut and uniform
freshly pressed just for her

Betty Shropshire

 

a strange sense
of déjà vu again

we both remember it
differently

M. R. Defibaugh

 

Nietzsche in a niche returns
again and again to the sacred fire

superman makes eyes
over dinner at Lois Lane

the lucky charm you carried
now in my purse

Melissa Dennison

 

rumor has it
they were seen together

how to ask her out
in ASL

how to ask her out
in sign language

Chris Patchel

 

diplomats waltzing around
peace talks

Nancy Brady

 

another odyssey
delayed by strikes

Tracy Davidson

 

doublespeak
takes over the ability to reason in oceania

madeleine kavanagh


An abundance of riches, wouldn’t you say? The short list cut sixty-four verses down to thirty-two; another cut brought the number to sixteen. I paired those sixteen verses with the “Earthrise” verse and read them aloud several times. Out of this process I chose three:

 

Earthrise
to the tune of Strauss’s ‘Thus
spake Zarathustra’

Lorin Ford

may I have this dance
for the rest of my life?

John Daleiden

[Note: I added “my” to the last line of John’s verse. I hope he concurs with this.]

 

Earthrise
to the tune of Strauss’s ‘Thus
spake Zarathustra’

Lorin Ford

a pelican splashes down
in the tranquil sea

Dan MacDonald

 

Earthrise
to the tune of Strauss’s ‘Thus
spake Zarathustra’

Lorin Ford

the lucky charm you carried
now in my purse

Melissa Dennison

 

I think our renku would proceed wonderfully with any one of these verses — two are love verses and one is not. I found Dan’s “tranquil sea” image brought in a quiet beauty after the glorious orchestral sound of the Strauss music in the preceding verse. But I did feel we needed people in this verse and John’s unique proposal of marriage and the way it linked to the previous verse won the day.


And so our sixth verse is:

may I have this dance
for the rest of my life?

John Daleiden

 

And our poem thus far:

 

Side Show

the moon joins
a juggler’s side show
harvest festival

Wendy C. Bialek

 

a swirl of moths
orbits the yellow lamplight

Jonathan Alderfer

 

drifting leaves
pile up at the lock gates
on the old canal

Andrew Shimield

 

an inuksuk points the way
to the next adventure

Carol Jones

 

Earthrise
to the tune of Strauss’s ‘Thus
spake Zarathustra’

Lorin Ford

 

may I have this dance
for the rest of my life?

John Daleiden


And now here are your instructions for verse seven:

  • a three-line love verse, the three lines should flow syntactically;
  • link to verse six in some fashion;
  • the door is open for all topics: war, politics, death, or any wild or bizarre subjects (in this section of the renku the party gets going full steam — arguments, clowning, tears, all happen here);
  • for the rest of the renku, please avoid any subjects related to festivals or circuses, carnival acts, moons, etc.; also avoid mention of dancing or performance art for the next six verses; avoid mention of art, music, photography, religion, and planets for the next five verses; avoid mention of stones, directions, or cairns for the next four verses; avoid mention of entrances, water, and vegetation for the next three verses; avoid any mention of insects, light, color, or trajectories for the next two verses;
  • submit your verses by midnight PDT Tuesday, July 2.

Thank you for all your submissions. I wish you good writing in the coming week — and good healing for John.

— Patricia

 

The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct

This Post Has 281 Comments

    1. let me sleep
      in your wagon tonight
      gypsy girl

      and

      she cranks
      my marshall amp
      way past eleven

      I enjoyed these!

    1. fighting addition
      together she becomes
      my heroin[e]

      finding out
      what it means
      to be a daddy

      meeting my daughter
      for the first time
      I sound like the one newly born

  1. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    John Daleiden

    jumping the broom
    with you so long ago
    a perfect lifetime

  2. .
    may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    .
    John Daleiden
    .
    .
    unbuttoning
    the button-down
    buttoned to the neck
    .

  3. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    John Daleiden

    from the first sight
    of you so long ago,
    my constant love

    though bumps open
    in the road, there is no one
    but you

    to love another,
    I cannot imagine
    after sixty years

  4. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    marrying on the rebound
    has made
    all the difference
    all the difference

    *
    the old two-step
    of marrying in haste and
    falling in love at leisure
    *

  5. John, I am happy to hear you are continuing on the road to recovery and hope you will find ways to relieve any discomfort and boredom.

    1. first date
      fibs
      he likes cats
      ~ ~ ~
      one serving of shrimp
      two paper cups on the edge
      of the bay
      ~ ~ ~
      his thoughtfulness
      breaks
      my heart
      ~ ~ ~
      still
      turns
      my head
      ~ ~ ~
      he waits
      for me
      at the library

  6. my husband’s curry
    always a little different
    than the night before

    ~ ~ ~

    on the edge
    of her seat
    Austen’s “Persuasion”

    ~ ~ ~

    “love means
    never having to say
    you’re sorry” most of the time

    ~ ~ ~

    Just for fun, my daughter Rachel’s version she just penned.

    “love means having to say
    you’re sorry
    even if you don’t mean it”

        1. I do agree with you…I love her take on my verse, even though I might be a little biased. :)

  7. i don’t care i don’t care
    i’d rather live by your side
    than to die by your side

    Diana Ming Jeong

      1. Thank you madeleine! :)
        We got rear-ended on Sunday and we are lucky to be alive!

        1. Diana, I am happy to hear you and your husband escaped harm and are both safe and sound!

  8. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    John Daleiden

    my lolly-pop-love
    becomes the
    pièce de résistance

    his brown hair I loved
    is now a crisp gray fringe
    with bald patches

    a honeymoon day
    every minute since we wed
    a honeymoon night

  9. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    John Daleiden
    *
    Time reports that
    marriage rates are declining
    due to devices
    *
    a backyard for vows,
    then friends and family
    around a big meal
    *
    their Great Dane
    carries the bouquet,
    the ferret the rings
    *

  10. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    John Daleiden

    through the years we grew
    to look alike, and now
    we are one

    through the years we grow
    to look alike, and now
    we are one

  11. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    John Daleiden

    through the years we grew
    to look alike, and now
    we are one

    through the years we grow
    to look alike, and now
    we are one

  12. Congrats John! – a very sweet verse.
    .
    may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    .
    John Daleiden
    .
    .
    the late night squeak
    of rusty hinges
    on the garden gate
    .
    the whisper of silk
    sliding
    over deaf skin
    .
    a meter
    of poetry
    in raised letters
    .
    a standing c note
    and the repartee
    with calloused fingertips
    .
    .

  13. In his breast pocket
    her folded smile
    faded photo

    Recalling
    her laughter in sepia tones
    his wife five decades ago

    Summer of ’76
    Mum and I smiling
    parched landscape

    His wife of fifty years
    beach laughter
    echoes in sepia tones

    1. Melissa, these verses are lovely, particularly your first…I can’t help but smile every time I go past!

  14. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    it’s come as you are
    to their wedding
    in the woods
    *
    holding their church wedding
    deep
    in the woods
    *
    finding their faith
    as they write
    their vows
    *

  15. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    ——-John Daleiden
    .

    watching you
    dress for the afternoon
    thunderstorm
    .

    the heat
    of the afternoon
    stored in your hips
    .

    your kimono
    of leaves falling
    falling
    .

    the bituminous
    scent
    of our affair
    .

    on and on
    wasabi love
    on and

  16. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life? ……. John Daleiden

    hula doll
    safely packed face down
    brings our honeymoon home

    1. another version:

      safely packed face down
      hula doll brings
      the honeymoon home

  17. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    John Daleiden

    for seventy years
    they slept side by side, but now
    it’s forever

    after his death
    the insurance policy
    made me rich

  18. All best wishes to John for his recovery.

    my dear husband
    didn’t last long
    after the wedding

    after his proposal
    I played my cards
    close to my chest

    once we were married
    I persuaded him
    to take out life insurance

    they called me
    the black widow
    after my third husband died

  19. Thanks for the update Patricia and best wishes John!

    my first
    hazel eyed love
    stole my tricycle

    my first
    kiss was
    in a barn

    does kissing
    a nun send
    you to hell

  20. Congratulations, John, for the selection of your verse.

    may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    –John Daleiden

    years and years
    later
    still holding hands

    years
    and years later
    grabbing his hand

    joining
    their wrinkled family
    a sharpei puppy

    1. WoW! Nancy….(all are very heart-swelled, so knocked over with that wrinkle family one….what a doubling image!

    2. Nancy, sorry, i meant…. wrinkled

      oooh! just realized, wonder what
      Patricia feels about the word, ‘joining’
      since a version of it is present in the hokku?
      Patricia could you kindly chime in here?

      1. Wendy–You are right–we would not want to repeat such a prominent word in the hokku latter in the renku.

        1. thanks for the clarification, Patricia.
          Now i hope, Nan has time to replace this one word, while there is still time to do it.

  21. Thank you Pamela Macmiller for the update on John Stevenson’s eye surgery.

    Joihn, the renku writers are sending you healing wishes. Feel the get well vibrations and may your .body hea

  22. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    –John Daleiden

    iceman, beggar man, chief—
    people who know our love
    is longer than time

  23. I just want to say I am thinking of John in my prayers. All the best to your speedy recovery.

    Michelle

  24. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    John Daleiden

    spider woman
    her love vows lighter
    than each leap

  25. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    –John Daleiden

    knick-knack-paddy wack,
    the dog has his bone; our love
    longer than time

    an organ donor
    kidney restores her life
    at age fifty

  26. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    keeping her love blind
    as his scissors go
    snip snip snip
    *
    proving love is blind
    with home-made
    his & her haircuts
    *
    vowing never again
    to let him
    touch her hair
    *

  27. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    even after the wedding
    every night
    is date night
    *

    1. Thanks for the update, Patricia! I join my fellow renku-ists in sending my best wishes to John for a speedy and thorough recovery. And my profound thanks to him and everyone else at THF. It has been a lifeline.

  28. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    – John Daleiden
    `
    ‘no thank you please’
    eyes to the guy
    who taps her lover’s shoulder
    `
    back to their ballroom table
    he slips on the ring engraved
    ‘My Youniverse’
    `
    love so new
    there’s more to figure out
    than remember

    rather than a card
    with several partners’ names
    towels with one last one

    1. John, adding to all these sincere good wishes for a complete recovery. A friend who went through this, rigged a mirror for watching TV and now he can read anything backwards! —i..e., keep your sense of humor😇
      `
      `
      In order to avoid another entry, here is a correction to a verse in the previous entry:
      `
      `
      the guy who starts
      to tap her lover’s shoulder
      sees knows moves on

  29. Dear Renku Friends of John–I have some additional information to add to John’s recovery news. While his eye heals, John has to lie prone, face down. So this process, while hopeful, is, as you can imagine, exceedingly trying. So let us unite as we send thoughts and wishes of tranquillity and images of the beautiful ocean that he loves.

    1. Thank you for the update Patricia.
      Here is a haiku from page 37 of “My Red” by John Stevenson:
      *
      the tide
      arranging rocks and sand
      just as I would
      *
      Sending healing thoughts to you John.

    2. Many thanks for the update, Patricia.

      Sending positive thoughts and best wishes for your full recovery, John. I’m not going to say a swift recovery because nature doesn’t work that way, and its always worth the wait.
      I sincerely hope this will be the same for you our lovely boy.

    3. “While his eye heals, John has to lie prone, face down. ” – Patricia, regarding news of John Stevenson.

      All I can say is that I’m glad it’s summer in the USA, and it might be possible that his face and eyes are well protected enough to allow him to spend some time floating in a swimming pool, with a special full face mask, waterproofed, and a snorkel. Or perhaps on an especially comfortable hammock, fit for purpose.
      Anyway, please convey my best wishes from cold & rainy Melbourne, Victoria, (Australia)

      (As a publican’s daughter: a raised glass to you & all you’ve done and continue do for world wide renku. I’m pretty sure we’d both agree about that red, too. :-) )

    4. I started this Sunday morning with caring thoughts of John and I read his “Some of the Silence”. Here is a sampling:

      Sunday morning
      looking up the word
      from my dream

      morning sun enters
      the sleeper’s
      ear

    5. My hope for you, John, is that your other senses bring you continued creativity and joy from which to draw upon during this difficult time.
      Betty

      1. so nicely said, Betty!
        may i ditto this, as it perfectly reflects my wishes and thoughts for John, too.

        1. I agree Wendy…adding my sentiments, a continued recovery for John with prayers and good wishes. Thank you Patricia, for your update. 🙂

  30. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    he strikes a gong
    in her garden’s
    gazebo!

  31. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    John Daleiden

    *

    meatloaf
    like his mama made
    her birthday gift to him

  32. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    night after night
    under one cover
    a synchronic dream for two

    1. Marion, fancy you rhyming! Love it. Very elegant, sinister and romantic at the same time….

          1. Keith, I might never have read this
            if not for your shamelessness
            and so I send my haiku kiss

  33. taking the baby’s first kicks
    into their own
    two hands
    *
    their two hands together
    the perfect size
    for the baby’s kick
    *
    the baby’s first kicks
    fit their hands
    to a T
    *

  34. answering
    every FAQ
    with love
    *
    whatever the question
    the answer
    is love
    *
    how to face the question
    of who
    will go first
    *

  35. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    –John Daleiden
    *
    the celebrant
    asks the couple for
    their pronouns

  36. writing her name
    Ana Maria Balanos Garcia de Rodriguez
    on a sandy beach

    watching her bounce
    on a donkey
    cart ride

    listening
    to the mating
    calls of iguanas

  37. A very romantic verse, John!

    may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    –John Daleiden

    in the attic
    she places her portrait
    next to Dorian’s

  38. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    –John Daleiden

    each morning they fill
    birdfeeders with food
    for avian friends

  39. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    her gyrations
    faster than the thunderclaps
    answering his prayers

  40. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    –John Daleiden

    in renku verse
    our love outlives time
    despite death

      1. knowing i am not the only one, concerned about the lack of medical support and options for young girls/women/couples in the usa who are hurting/needy of help or/and first beginning their journey.

        Pamela, glad you enjoyed this verse.

    1. in addition to the obvious/ of people being told who could love who….

  41. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    John Daleiden

    day after day
    the honeymooners in bed
    with Covid

        1. thank you pamela—
          i will convey this to the count,
          tonight he is having a coffin fit
          for a blood relative

          (and reading the old book
          “how to wan friends and influenza people”)

  42. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    –John Daleiden

    though seas run dry,
    or glaciers block the door,
    our love flows on

    two places set
    at the table, one for him,
    one for her

    love forever
    though the sun has no shine
    we are one

    the scent of roast beef,
    a platinum necklace gift—
    their seventieth

  43. she calls
    me burrito
    instead of jackass

    her beautiful
    butt is brown
    all year round

    she inherited
    her temper
    from a volcano

  44. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    – John Daleiden

    she calls
    me cabrón while
    pouring me coffee

    her flamenco
    dancing jumpstarts
    my battery

    serenades with a
    southern accent
    make her smile

    cooking her
    platanos and frijoles
    for breakfast

  45. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    John Daleiden

    Dad did not like my boyfriends
    but he cried for me
    when my cat died

    my Superhero Dad
    sat back in his chair
    with tears in his eyes

    Dad walked out to the car
    while Mom rocked our dog
    to sleep

    Diana Ming Jeong

    1. Dad was inconsolable
      when it was time
      to put our dog to sleep

      Diana Ming Jeong

    2. Dad was inconsolable when it was time
      to put our dog
      to sleep

      Or

      Dad was inconsolable
      when it was time to put our dog
      to sleep

      Diana Ming Jeong

      1. Diana–Sweet as your verses are, I feel I should have made it clear when I called for a love verse that in traditional renku love is sexual love between adult humans :)

        1. Oh! Ok. Then my first submissions are written about sexual love. 🥰

          Thank you ☺️

  46. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    ——-John Daleiden
    .

    she takes
    the lovely form
    of a shifting sandbar
    .

    a dragon tattoo
    prowls
    beneath her silk kimono
    .

    a woman wades out
    to sift the sea
    for her lost lovers
    .

    pouring
    our morning coffee
    into the sunlight

  47. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    –John Daleiden

    our names
    on the land deed where we live
    for seventy years

    though the sun shines bright,
    and rivers run deep,
    our love knows no bounds

  48. he buys a metal detector
    to find the ring
    lost on the beach

    ~ ~ ~

    he keeps
    replacing the rings
    she loses

          1. he buys a metal detector
            in search
            of lost rings

            ~ ~ ~

            he buys a metal detector
            in hope
            to find her lost rings

  49. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    John Daleiden

    we keep
    the vows
    we never said

    Diana Ming Jeong

  50. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    going this way
    then that
    with their hyphenated names
    *
    she puts his name first
    and he puts hers first
    with a hyphen in between
    *

  51. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    God blinks
    and lets Joe Biden
    make it through the night

    1. Biden begins
      his ride into the sunset . . .
      on his wife’s back

      Disclaimer: This is not a whole-hearted endorsement for Mr. Trump! I am trying to refer to the prior verse’s lovers while veering into a new topic – a politcal one.

  52. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    deeper than the sea,
    higher than the blue sky ,
    our love is endless

  53. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    how she longed for more
    red wigglers in her compost bin
    filling up on scraps

  54. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    playing with lost pics
    shining in a golden album
    only in our minds

  55. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    our wedding roses
    ramble the yard
    years later
    *
    the scent of our wedding
    still sharp
    in every rose
    *

    1. These are lovely and excellent verses in themselves, Laurie. But I’m wondering what Patricia might have to say about having roses (flowers) in this ‘love’ verse. If this renku is a Nijûin (and I think it is. . . not sure) there is only one ‘blossom/ flower’ verse and the current verse is one of 4 ‘Love’ verses, two here and two later.

      It is quite possible that Patricia might choose to merge ‘love’ & ‘flower’ at this point, since the Nijûin has just one blossom/ flower verse, later. I don’t know. But I would like to know :-). Patricia?

      1. Lorin–Yes, we are writing a nijuin renku and so this verse is a love verse. With apologies to all, I should have explicitly said that it also was a no season verse.

  56. Wishing you again the best of health, John Stevenson. Another great choice, Patricia! Congratulations on a fine link, John Daleiden!

    may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    John Daleiden

    despite a big
    wedding in public
    vows in private

    the swans
    after a courtship
    becoming one

    the male wren
    feeding the female
    on their eggs

  57. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    John Daleiden

    stray cat
    brings me her kittens
    one by one

    Diana Ming Jeong

  58. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    recording
    our kitchen routine
    on a recipe card
    *
    passing down
    our kitchen routines
    on a recipe card
    *
    labanotation
    for our turns
    around the kitchen
    *

  59. Grandma still misses
    the young man
    who never came home

    it takes two
    to make or break
    our flat-pack crib

    the bridal boutique
    mannequin
    wears it better

  60. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    keeping their vows
    sharp
    with daily practice
    *
    joying in the practice
    that keeps their vows
    sharp
    *

  61. caught on tape
    sneaking through
    the alley with Sally

    our new
    sleep number bed.
    set to sixty-nine

    informing the waiter
    that we’ll have what
    she’s having

    the newlyweds
    make their first
    toy store visit

    after forty odd years
    she still calls me
    sweetheart

    a heart-felt thanks
    to doctor
    Ruth Westheimer

      1. when he plans
        he calls us
        “uz”

        ~ ~ ~

        he asks “the big G”
        and he points above
        to continue to bless us

          1. I love your poems, especially:

            “together in
            our infusion center
            yet again”

            Pamela Garry

  62. may I have this dance
    For the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    ~ ~ ~

    the wedding
    at sweetheart motel
    no one thought would last

    ~ ~ ~

    preventing her from tripping
    he almost trips
    down the chapel stairs

  63. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    be my love
    forever and a day
    we’ll never part

  64. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life? — John Daleiden

    the cake is cut
    and the champagne and beer
    are overflowing

  65. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    – John Daleiden

    our two pacemakers
    synchronized with a steady
    4/4 beat

      1. each evening
        from our separate bedrooms
        we shout out good night

        Dan MacDonald

        just some suggestions:

        now we say
        good night
        from separate rooms

        ????Dan MacDonald????

        reasoning:
        1: to let the reader control the sound level and imagine the scene
        2: to bring it to the present
        3: to chisel away anything unnecessary

        1. I’d prefer Dan’s original, but with one word deleted.

          each evening
          from our separate bedrooms
          we shout out good night – Dan MacDonald
          .
          each evening
          from our separate bedrooms
          we shout good night

          (‘out’ is superfluous as far as grammar goes and in my view the rhythm of L3 is better without the extra beat.)

      2. REVISION!

        each evening
        from our separate bedrooms
        we shout good night

        Thanks, Lorin and Wendy for your suggestions. I’m happy for catching your attention on these first two efforts, but am placing all of my hopes and money on the Joe Biden verse up above! Regards, Dan

      3. REVISION!

        each evening
        from our separate bedrooms
        we shout good night

        Again, thanks to Lorin and Wendy for offering thoughtful advice.

        1. Dan M.,
          it is a pleasure ‘playing’ with your words, Dan M. and to know
          you are open to listening to revisions and hearing various opinions.

          BTW: i don’t use AI to do any project. I trust my own creativity, and my own “crooked eyes” a quote from a famous, female photographer.
          And, editcrow is a fictitious character, i made up.

          Lorin and Patricia a question?????
          I was just thinking, and wanting to know your opinions about:
          any mention now of “verbal communication(s)” in our verses….
          would that be in anyway a reversion (an uchikoshi) to Lorin’s, “Thus Spake…..”???????

      1. Dan M. imo…this is the keeper!

        our two pacemakers
        synchronized with a steady
        4/4 beat

        Dan MacDonald

        editcrow and i want to take away “two”
        and place..”even” as the first word on L1
        take away the “d” from synchronize and
        and take away “with a steady” from L2
        and replace with “in” to read:

        even our pacemakers
        synchronize in
        4/4 beat

        Dan MacDonald

          1. thanks, Pam….one of many.

            here’s others i entertained:

            our good nights
            heard
            from separate rooms

            and

            our good nights
            harken
            from separate rooms

        1. our two pacemakers
          synchronized with a steady
          4/4 beat – Dan MacDonald
          .
          I agree that “two” is, in context, superfluous and I don’t need ‘editcrow’ or any AI program to agree or disagree with me about that. However, I much prefer the longer middle line . I would change “with” to “to”, though, because I’m pretty sure that’s what you mean. “Synchronized to” doesn’t make sense.

          our pacemakers
          synchronized to a steady
          4/4 beat

    1. Please accept this revised version:

      our pacemakers
      synchronized to a steady
      4/4 beat

      I apologize for the flood of revisions. I notice that during a senior moment, I revised another one twice and was about to let this one go unedited! Must have caught something while watching the debate last night.

  66. against a quaking aspen
    i kiss her
    for the first time

    her five moans
    each louder
    than the last

    take the garbage
    get the mail
    all in the name of love

    1. Rob,
      Keeping in mind that renku verses flow forward; when the first sequence, of a love verse….begins with the proposal of marriage…the next verse requires a following action…not a backwards action.
      (usually, a kiss or more, has been experienced….prior to marriage proposal)
      (your first verse lovely as is, here, in this position, appears to be traveling backwards)

      the verse can be totally salvaged, if you age it in time.

      1. thank you wendy for your brilliant
        and educated advice:

        against a quaking aspen
        we kiss like it was
        the very first time

      2. Yes, Wendy, your right about the progression of the love verses, but what if he was smitten at the first dance and knew he wanted her for the rest of his life even before the first kiss? Is this a possible interpretation?

        1. which is why i stated, ‘usually’.
          Patricia, come to think of it…both myself and spouse….knew it…when our eyes first met.

          1. Wendy, if I may, I am absolutely delighted by yours and Patricia’s commentary on Rob’s first verse. (Smiling from ear to ear. )

  67. John….thank you for your delightful verse, and for keeping this wonderful flow of positivity and creativity in our renku….And Patricia…thank you for choosing John’s delightful verse, and for keeping this wonderful flow of positivity and creativity in our renku:

    may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life? John Daleiden

    *

    still cheek to cheek
    as the spring in our steps
    revived by compression socks

  68. “I found Dan’s “tranquil sea” image brought in a quiet beauty after the glorious orchestral sound of the Strauss music in the preceding verse. But I did feel we needed people in this verse. . . . ” -Patricia

    I like Dan MacDonald’s verse a lot, too (I’ve seen Pelicans do that often enough. I like pelicans: they are elegant, clever, polite and amusing. But I understand your point of needing people in this verse position, Patricia..

    1. Lorin,
      i also like Dan M’s pelican verse…but i questioned that it included the sea which i believe is a form of water….that Patricia said we should avoid for now.

  69. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    John Daleiden
    *
    just the two of us
    waltzing matilda
    along a back road
    .
    [ translations, I’ve noticed, are sometimes needed in this “common language” we share.
    So– ” waltzing Matilda: to waltz Matilda To carry a swag; to travel the road. A matilda is a swag, the roll or bundle of possessions carried by an itinerant worker or swagman.” These days though, people are more likely to be waltzing a backpack.)

    1. thx for this explanation Lorin. I was told as a child it meant kangaroo. will have to change that image in my mind …all these years, lost in translation.

  70. Congratulations, John, from your future (it being 8:05am and cold on the 28th of June in Southern Australia)

  71. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    John Daleiden
    *
    my arms stretch
    around the smell
    of his leather vest
    *
    I swing onto
    his Vespa
    fully committed
    *
    I will as long
    as you can
    stand by me
    *

  72. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    we’ll cruse forever
    on our purple barge
    love conquers all

  73. Well chosen! Excellent verse, John!

    may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    John Daleiden
    *
    patient zero
    flirting with death
    and his nurse

  74. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    daily
    they renew the vows
    they never made

  75. I hope that John is doing better this week and well on his way to a speedy and successful recovery! Thank you Jim Kacian and all the helpers for this week’s Renku. Thank you Patricia for your guidance and warmth throughout this journey. It’s always a joy to read the new posting on Thursdays. Thank you again for choosing a few of my haiku for the long list. And congratulations to Dan for a lovely haiku! I’m melting! Not just from the heat in Los Angeles, but from the sentiment of your haiku. Words I have definitely heard from my Love! :)

    Based on my own experience :) here are my offerings for this week…

    our fingers
    interlock
    on our first date

    our hands
    find each other
    as we walk through the gardens

    my heart
    still flutters
    when we hold hands

    Diana Ming Jeong

    1. I’m sorry to John. I don’t know why I wrote Dan. :/ Please forgive me.
      Congratulations John! I love your offering.

      may I have this dance
      for the rest of my life?

      John Daleiden

      our fingers
      interlock
      on our first date

      our hands
      find each other
      as we walk through the gardens

      my heart
      still flutters
      when we hold hands

      Diana Ming Jeong

      1. Diana, fear not,
        your true light shines
        both day and night

        Apooiges accepted and understood—the senior moment.

        1. Thank you, John! ☺️ I love this little haiku too, just for me! You must already know that I love the sun ☀️ and the moon 🌝 equally and they only rivaled by the stars. 🌌

  76. “May I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?”

    saying nothing
    which might step on the toes
    of anyone

    all’s fair
    in the war of the sexes
    gentle maiden ‘

    maturer years
    necessitate a review
    of past commitments

    i

  77. Congratulations John!

    may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    ——-John Daleiden
    .

    only a slight stumble
    over our vows
    of forever
    .

    no license required
    to drive me
    over the edge

  78. I can’t help singing the Anne Murray song with this new verse, John. What a lovely memory it brings.

    Thanks, Patricia, for sharing all these treasures and for including mine.

    may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    still holding hands
    on the front porch
    as we swing

    he always
    offers me a hand
    with the high curbs

  79. A wonderful verse, John, I liked it when I first read it, very romantic and so full love.
    A delightful choice, Patricia. And such a box full of delights you have presented, to open the renku session, for us to read. Thankyou for placing some of mine in the line-up.

  80. A wonderful verse, John, I liked it when I first read it, very romantic and so full love.
    A delightful choice, Patricia. And such a box full of delights you have presented, to open the renku session, for us to read. Thankyou.

  81. Note to the Haiku Foundation Renku Sessions;

    Patricia Machmiller, thank you for your generous inclusion of my haiku in Week 6. I am honored with your choice of my haiku for verse 6. Yes, I accept your addition of “my”to the verse.

    Jim Kacin, thank you for stepping in to upload Patricia’s choices and instructions for moving forward with the Side Show renku.

    John Stevenson, may you be healed with the power of good wishes this renku community sends:

    the bump in this road
    repaired with skilled hands–
    doctors and writers

  82. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    the golf tournament
    interrupting the final
    scene; no fade-away

  83. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    letting our love
    lead us
    where it will

  84. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    dedicating our next
    12 steps
    to this recovering world
    *

  85. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    the occasional faux pas
    keeps us
    on our toes
    *
    together stepping
    up
    to every challenge
    *

  86. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?

    John Daleiden

    just lovely john, this brought tears
    as always, spot on patricia, keep it up

  87. Congrats to John for the clever adaptation of the Anne Murray song! Thanks, Patricia for including mine among so many good ones. Your selection each week is always a sterling one! Well done.

  88. may I have this dance

    for the rest of my life?
    — John Daleiden

    together in
    our infusion center
    yet again

    1. Oops, just noticed ‘yellow’ in the second verse. Maybe

      her groom
      in a bright bow tie
      and matching sneakers

  89. Congratulations John… such a splendid poem and testament! Thank you for choosing this beauty, Patricia, which fits flawlessly into our fantastic renku…for all the beautiful poems on the long and short list and for the last three amazing haiku. Thank you for including my poem.

  90. may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    holding on
    to each other
    in a debatable world
    *
    the two of us
    solid
    in a debatable world
    *

  91. What an amazing list! Glad I wasn’t the one to have to choose. A marvelous selection, Patricia. Thanks, John, for submitting this wonderful verse.
    *

    may I have this dance
    for the rest of my life?
    *
    John Daleiden
    *
    coming home to the one
    who never steps
    on my toes
    *
    never led astray
    by the one
    who really cares
    *

  92. Congratulations John. You had so many good offerings. This one especially resonated with me too. Thank you Patricia for keeping us on light side. We Americans have our own side show going on tonight. Good to have love in the renku air.

    1. Clyde’s, I share all your sentiments here and I love how you express them! Ditto!

        1. Pamela, thank you for your vote of confidence! Auto-correct makes me fear AI. As if I don’t know my own name. First or last. ;-)

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