The Renku Sessions: Side Show – Week 11
Greetings, Renku Friends:
How are things in your corner of the world this week? In mine there has been much heat — both in temperature and in politics. I hope, if you are in like circumstances, that you have been able, as the renku says, to bask in “the cool/of the house.” On the other hand, if you are on the winter side of the world, I wish you warmth and good sledding!
Last week I floated the idea of revising Laurie’s verse by changing the participial phrase to a subject — “the coyote”. I sense that most of you liked the verse best as Laurie wrote it so I’m going to let it stand as written. This decision does affect the choice for verse 11; we don’t want to repeat the use of a participle in this current verse. Therefore many verses submitted this week had to be ruled out. There were many submissions linking to house that were in the category of a structure, such as wall, porch, window, attic, room, basement, etc. that seemed just too close. So, although some were very clever, they didn’t make it to the following list.
in the grand salon, water
stains flowered silk wallpaper
at home isolation
to avoid new COVID strains
the vet changes burn dressings
on two wild horses
a geek hunts for typo errors
in lines of program code
in her makeup mirror she sees
a sleeping beauty
a stack of unopened mail
beside the easy chair
the shower head sprays blood
instead of water
soda gone flat in last night’s
party glass
John Daleiden
*
father’s forgotten necktie
hangs from the ironing board
Curt Linderman
*
hands wrinkling
in a bubble bath
muttering open sesame
lost in a maze of doors
tip-toeing around
a senior siesta
Eavonka Ettinger
*
crocheting poetry
argle-bargle bargle-argle
unidentifiable
vibrations
that daydream
crops up at the wrong time
she handstands on the plunger
to no avail
old memories
sweeping the awards
Pamela Garry
*
a hint of sweet dreams
with the mint on the pillow
the motel maid makes up
stories along with the beds
doing the puzzle
from the inside out
one more thought experiment
turned DIY fiasco
the tiniest nest egg
nurtures the biggest dreams
Laurie Greer
*
there are so many
kinds of cells
Barbara Anna Gaiardoni
*
counting her purrs
as i run my fingers along her fur
Diana Ming Jeong
*
wheels stop spinning
in the hamster’s cage
Tracy Davidson
*
the smell of the sea
in my dream
bats find their way home
with clicks
cranking up the ac
for reentry
Jonathan Alderfer
*
teaching my nephew
how to cheat at poker
Dan Campbell
*
sitting at her makeup table
brushing her long hair
Nancy Brady
*
a scatter rug
ripples
could’ve had a v8
but going for potus
was it left open
or closed
a mouse that looks like meemaw
partly through the lace curtains
Wendy C. Bialek
*
letters to the sole
proprietor proudly displayed
Betty Shropshire
*
searching under her bed
for loose change
as shadows lengthen
on her porch
in the corner
a shadow is stirring
hearing echoes
of her children’s voices
dust devil’s
swirl under her bed
a list of chores to do
before tonight
Melissa Dennison
*
a severed head
inside the refrigerator
losing it
in the emergency department
Pauline O’Carolan
*
unable to remember
the computer password
Mimi Ahern
*
only horror movies on the tv
and the remote has a pulse
cell phone in her coffin
reads 2 percent
inside her fridge
half the man he used to be
Rob Barkan
*
mesmerized
by the waves on t.v.
madeleine kavanagh
As you probably noticed, a few verses with participles made it into this list. My thought is that the subject matter is worthy of consideration and that if any of them turn out to be strong contenders, they would, with permission of the author, be modified to eliminate the problem.
And here’s the top four choices:
letting off a stowaway
in the middle of the heat
Laurie Greer
the cool
of the house
at the back of her mind
madeleine kavanagh
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
*
letting off a stowaway
in the middle of the heat
Laurie Greer
the cool
of the house
at the back of her mind
madeleine kavanagh
wheels stop spinning
in the hamster’s cage
Tracy Davidson
*
letting off a stowaway
in the middle of the heat
Laurie Greer
the cool
of the house
at the back of her mind
madeleine kavanagh
in the corner
a shadow is stirring
Melissa Dennison
*
letting off a stowaway
in the middle of the heat
Laurie Greer
the cool
of the house
at the back of her mind
madeleine kavanagh
unable to remember
the computer password
Mimi Ahern
I finally settled on this for verse ten:
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
And so, here’s our renku so far:
Side Show
the moon joins
a juggler’s side show
harvest festival
Wendy C. Bialek
a swirl of moths
orbits the yellow lamplight
Jonathan Alderfer
drifting leaves
pile up at the lock gates
on the old canal
Andrew Shimield
an inuksuk points the way
to the next adventure
Carol Jones
Earthrise
to the tune of Strauss’s ‘Thus
spake Zarathustra’
Lorin Ford
may I have this dance
for the rest of my life?
John Daleiden
I swing onto
his Vespa
fully committed
Clysta Seney
letting off a stowaway
in the middle of the heat
Laurie Greer
the cool
of the house
at the back of her mind
madeleine kavanaugh
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
And now here are your instructions for verse eleven:
- a three-line no-season verse, the three lines should flow syntactically;
- take us to the outside world (as opposed to the interior world of the mind)—we need a concrete image in this verse, and preferably indoors;
- link to verse ten in some fashion;
- the door is open for all topics: war, politics, death, or any wild or bizarre subjects (in this section of the renku the party gets going full steam — arguments, clowning, tears, all happen here);
- for the rest of the renku, please avoid any subjects related to festivals or circuses, carnival acts, moons, etc.; avoid ID’s and vibrating objects for the next six verses; also avoid mention of structures such as houses, barns, cabins, etc. as well as brains for the next five verses; also avoid mention of hiding, hitchhiking, passengers, or parts or fractions for the next four verses; avoid mention of vehicles and use of proper nouns for the next three verses; avoid mention of dancing or performance art for the next two verses; avoid mention of art, music, photography, religion, and planets in the next verse.
- submit your verses by midnight PDT Tuesday, July 30.
I’m going to be traveling this next week so my availability will be hit and miss. I hope you’ll bear with me. I thank you all for your submissions and lively participation this week. I wish you good writing in the coming week — and good healing and tranquility for John.
— Patricia
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
Comments (341)
Comments are closed.
What a beautiful haiku of the day, Laurie!
nearing the end
of its shelf life…
Thwaites glacier
—Laurie Greer
lovely indeed, laurie!
feel a warm flow
when he holds my hand
i don’t know why
Mama’s flower arrangement
awakens the spirit of
wanting to learn
looking at the photo
smiling
my tears fell
the butterflies
in a 2 week-old
baby bump
the kick of a left foot
inside a 4 month old
belly bump
on day one
her briefcase only holds
a frequency orgasmic dial
her heart turns
toward the rumbling launch
she could not watch
fitness center
above the movie theater
tickets half price
swamp gas
belches
from a twilight swamp
after thirty years
of tuning and greasing
he kisses his motors goodbye
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
roar of the crowd
after balance beam routine
evokes smiles
trapped
inside my parked auto,
the ramp shifts slightly
in the anchor chair
to search for nothing
but the truth
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela Garry
*
at the Olympics
glorioles seen
above actors’ heads
*
dijeridoo drones
try to mask the relentless
thrum of crypto farms
*
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
silent alarms
in the jewelry shop
no longer silent
spectators
in the Olympic pool
seats
justices discuss
abortion actions in
supreme court chambers
unidentifiable
vibrations
——-Pamela Garry
.
a drone
hovers high above
this sticky life
unidentifiable
vibrations – Pamela Garry
jackhammers
instead of roosters
greeting the dawn
fireflies
courting
jackhammer sparks
thunder
rolls like
a bowling ban
TYPO CORRECTION
thunder
rolls like
a bowling ball
unidentifiable
vibrations
a seismic event
banging closet doors
bouncing up and down in bed
light from a star
reflects on the
landing craft
on a distant moon
hopes of a
new settlement
whisking cream
for her friends later…
the washing machine jumps
dust and fumes
outside men in high viz
and roadworks
no butter leaves this
cowboy roux much
to be desired
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
long lines zig zag
to rebook canceled flights
for the second day
Congratulations Pamela. I think yours is the shortest renku verse that I’ve encountered! Perhaps someone knowledgeable would be willing to discuss the distinction between the 3 line and 2 line verses – since there are (usually) no breaks in the verses, it almost seems that it is irrelevant whether the verse is spread over 2 or 3 lines.
.
unidentifiable
vibrations
.
— Pamela Garry
.
.
and just like that
there were no more
cheap fake videos
.
blood boils
from a newly
pierced ear
.
then
he got up
and pumped his fist
.
white noise
colorcast
ad nauseum
.
taking away the keys
to grandpa’s
vintage corvette
.
muting
all the vowels
in a word salad
.
vaccine, woman, democracy…
watch me pull a new definition
from the hat
.
Thank you Princess K! Wonderfully weird verses!
add me too to pamela’s, pk!
add me as well, princess k! “…taking away the keys…” touches my heart”, difficult for all involved:/ …a vintage corvette.
taking away the keys
to grandpa’s
vintage corvette
This one, especially, gives me a big smile, Princess. We already have a motor vehicle ( the Vespa) though. I’m not sure whether or not enough verses have passed to include another. In a 20 verse renku, my guess is ‘probably not’.
I dunno if they have keys or what-not, but have you considered a synthesizer?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synthesizer
Thanks Lorin. You’re right, I should have checked my verses against Patricia’s requirements before posting, but I didn’t take the time to do so.
princess k…may i refer you to the history of renku/renga….online in any search
to where they speak of the Japanese waka/ tanka format:
a five line verse:
31 syllables, arranged 5-7-5-7-7
consisting of two parts.
usually it was three upper lines 5-7-5
then two bottom lines. 7-7
somewhere between them is what i
call a turn, officially called a pivot word, (usually occurring between
line 2 and line 4.)
the last two lines shift in some way, from the top 3 lines.
they may shift of some kind of change, from place, time, etc. with the creative use of a pivot word. which “hinges” the top 3Ls to the bottom 2Ls
they are linked in a common theme….shown from perhaps two different perspectives.
modern tanka, like modern haiku…is not held so close to the number rule of syllables per line, or total of 31, but stays within a range, of usually less than 31
here is an example:
A Spray of Water: Tanka by Tada Chimako
https://poets.org/poem/spray-water-tanka-hot-water
Interesting. Thanks Wendy – I’ll check it out.
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
trapped in my car
on a mountain road, wildfires
burn the desert brush
unidentifiable
vibrations
——-Pamela Garry
.
something amiss
with the wiring
in this house
.
dinner is served
on plates decorated with
mythical birds
.
a small tornado
enters through an open door
then vanishes
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
(great verse, Pamela!)
85-year-old hands
in my mouth
with no novacaine
Thanks, Keith, for inspiring this verse about my grandfather who worked in a hick town! (is novacaine a proper noun?)
the jiggle
of her jello mold
unmolded
(is jiggle a vibration/ is jello a proper noun?)
news
of another friend
for whom the bell tolls
sound of the bell
repeating the words
peace be with you
Thanks Mimi! I’m happy to read your verses. I am wondering if your grandfather was a retired dentist or maybe a handyman extracting teeth with a string tied to door knob.
Pamela, my Grandfather was a dentist until 85 . . .
WOW!
after c-section
w/o numbing agents
a piece of cake root canal
or
after c-section
sans numbing agents
a piece of cake root canal
inspired by mimi’s verse, inspired by keith’s verse
unidentifiable
vibrations
*
Pamela Garry
*
other names
for the doorstop of a book
dropped on his foot
*
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
in the school room
bullets from an Ak gun
murder my classmates
my driver’s license
does nicely
at the libarary
Oh boy…
*library
madeleine, no correction is needed!
i think you discovered a new, wishful place !LOL!
Hilarious! Thanks Wendy!
Ironically, my old driver’s license now has my library card number taped to the back because I have misplaced my library card, Madeleine. I could get a replacement card with a new number, but that would mess up my online login for other library services.
Nan, thank you! Even when identified through a string of meaningless numbers, our uniqueness still shines through!
unidentfiable
vibrations – Pamela Garry
my driver’s
license does nicely
at the library
~ ~ ~
a lot
of fun
ordering online
the pitter patter
early sunday
morning
~ ~ ~
we spend hours
choosing a name
for the puppy
love these two sooooo much, madeleine
oh, yes!!!!
the unresistible joy
a puppy adds
to its new family
Awww.. thanks Wendy. You made my day!
Wendy, I am quite partial to your darling verse! :)
Awww, Wendy… it warmed my heart to read your verse.
ty maddy
mine only tells….your two, more importantly,….SHOWS!
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
fun house mirrors
distort my image
first tall, then fat
John, wonderful, last line description in your verse about the fun house mirror!
unidentifiable
vibrations
not realising
that is her
granddaughter’s phone
unidentifiable
vibrations
the divination rods
dip down
unexpectedly
at the seance
looks of horror
and surprise
unidentifiable
vibrations
listening to her
grandma’s old
beach boys album
our cat
rubs everyone’s leg
at the party
next door
more crockery
hits the wall
the new vacuum
doesn’t count
as a birthday present
the back and forth of
the pup’s red ball
leading to distraction
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
*
fireflies flash
on and off
on and off
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
inside the sewer
pipe a trapped dog
yelps
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
a hidden trapdoor
creaks open slowly
revealing secret stairs
a magician’s hat
spills white rabbits
onto the stage
in the morgue’s silence
a dropped scalpel clatters
against cold steel
a séance table
creaks under the weight
of unseen hands
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
aboard a strange craft
creatures cut into my brain
which watches
night sky my shelter,
serenity floods my
being—oh, the peace
the come and go rumble
below the station
as he answers a text
midwest quakes
a prelude
to continental split
gnawing behind the sink
quickened by
growing hunger
the bolt that missed us
split trees and ears
somewhere
the octave higher
gets a quicker swat
mosquito
that grumble
sound like a ray
headers off
tached-up roar
he smiles on the pillow
dual carb 413
oops
that grumble
sounds like a ray
headers off
the octave higher
gets
a quicker swat
Love these, Rob…especially “…the come and go rumble…”
thank you madeleine—many manhattan
subway stations had the express train tunnel
one level below the local platform, barreling
through on its way to the next express stop.
Rob, thank you for the explanation…it is so interesting!
sale particulars
with no mention
of a poltergeist
the dog’s ears
pricking up
before the doorbell
finally I twig
it’s about time
I tried ironing
the shaking hands
of the only dentist
in this hick town
we look better
to each other
without our specs
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
termites making
steady progress in
the bedroom wall
a teeth grinder
dreaming about
a dead-end job
at lights out
that kid at camp with
the girly mags
furniture rearranged
the robot vacuum’s unable
to find home
from deep within
a forbidden planet
the id’s monsters
unidentifiable
vibrations
*
Pamela Garry
*
punch line
overwhelmed by the roar
of laughter
*
the dog goes off
with the siren
at midnight
*
Love both of these, Laurie.
unidentifiable
vibrations
——-Pamela Garry
.
a green-eyed cat
half asleep
on the kitchen table
.
motionless
listening to the roar
in my ears
.
a snail’s journey
can only be appreciated
when kneeling
These are great Jonathan… “a snail’s journey” is a delight.
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
up the mountain
wildfire burns
under our roof
only stars and ash
for a roof where my shelter
once stood
lava flows
engulf our rooftops
then boil the ocean
g-forces
shape
the multiverse
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
tremors of grief
linger in
the air
sorrow hums
its silent
melody
her
quivering
whisper
the dreaded change
we all know you now know
they know too
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela Garry
the thug
queries a newsman
what’s the frequency?
as night falls
the frightening shimmy
of a ceiling fan
still thankful
a heart murmur kept him
out of Viet Nam
dan m.
your writing is so smooth!
glad you decided to give
it more time.
btw:
you are welcome!…glad i
was able to be helpful (along
with all the others….
and encouraged you to stay
with it.
in the archived renku…you will
see only completed renku…but
you don’t have any annotations
to accompany the verses to show
you how it works!
active participation, i have found
teaches me in a way where it sticks…the books
and lists and online sights are a great
source for reference.
just like learning to drive a car!
one book that is in the haiku forum library (free)
has renku with annotation…that i find as
a highly valuable learning guide…it is the ‘introduction to world-
linking renku by fukuda
beautifully written!
have fun!!!!
Thanks. As Joe Biden’s dad would have said, “When ya get knocked down, ya get back up and WRITE!”
word correction:
online ‘sites’
in honor of Wendy’s five syllable verse:
coconuts score strikes
in bowling alleys
across America
*
wow! this is a very special verse, Clysta:
1.
you found a creative way to use a
sporty game that involves a ball….
without using the word ball….
(which Patricia said would be
a ‘no-no’ because it is infered with
the juggler in the hokku…the first
verse in a renku)
2.
you wrote a joyful verse using
5 syllables as your theme without
mentioning the 5 syllables.
3.
and you honoured the author
who who wrote the seed verse.
4. thank you….for this kind
gesture and the buzz i feel
for inspiring you.
So many avenues to follow with your verse, Pamela!
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela Garry
behold the gravitas
of the dark web
to the dissaffected
A powerful verse Betty!.
edit to correct spelling:
behold the gravitas
of the dark web
to the disaffected
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
watching
shimmering light
from dead stars
most pacemaker
explosions are caused
by belly dancers
currents flowing
through birds
resting on power lines
Dan, I got a good belly laugh from “…most pacemaker explosions…” :-) Thank you!
Dear madeleine, I’m glad it gave you a smile, thanks!
Awww, your welcome, Dan. :)
most pacemaker
explosions are caused
by belly dancers – Dan Campbell
—
:-) :-) :-) ah, so you’ve made a study of this, have you Dan? :-)
Yes Lorin, my book, Belly Dancer Fantasies, will be on sale soon!!
afraid of police
pet cat
under the table
a great. easily relatable verse, nani
suddenly
hot water
splashed onto his body
years after Belfast
we duck when a car backfires
in London
* My husband and I grew up during The Troubles in Northern Ireland, and this happened when we moved to England as students. We were walking to an Italian café near Piccadilly Circus, London at the time and I think our reaction surprised us as much as our friends!
Well done, Pamela. I must admit I found this one challenging as my instinct was to attempt to explain the source of those vibrations!
unidentifiable
vibrations
all eyes
on the silent hands
of the waiting room clock
Marion both verses and your comment grab my attention:
An AHA moment for where I go astray. Thank you.
I see better now how to avoid a narrative. while linking.
Good to have you here,
Thanks Marion! Both your short poems here are magnificent for me!
Pamela congrats on this intriguing brief verse. Patricia is really working out our best offerings. I thought I’d already posted this congrats and first offering. Doh! It’s a crazy week.
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela Garry
*
all the bouncing
white holes
we cannot see
*
Thanks Clysta! Your verse is so fun! Gets my imagination rolling.
i second that motion! Clysta and Pamela!
Me as well Pamela and Wendy! Clysta’s colorful verse bounced out to us, all!
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
for no reason
the delightful songs
of canaries stops
crumbled in shards
the glass exterior
crashes inside
voting is what makes
america great
explain your plan
I like this, Rob.
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela Garry
*
ship-flipping whales
blow off
conduct complaints
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
with no warning
the origami cranes
fly out the window
kilroy was here
written inside the glass door
otto
mysteriously,
glowing in the dark room,
otto
after loud rumbles
waves of water surge
into mall shops
Congratulations to Pamela.
…
nothing remains
after the fire
but bones and teeth
…
tintinnabulation of bells
welcomes
worshippers
…
red faces
as they investigate
the adult store
…
footsteps
on the floorboards
suddenly stop
Thank you Pauline!
a city
rolls out the red carpet
along a vibrant river
a city
rolls out the red carpet
on a vibrant river
~ ~ ~
(Apologizing for another cliche…just a little overcome by the
razzle dazzle Paris put on yesterday.)
~ ~ ~
the
silent beat
of a gracious city
I wake seconds
before the morning alarm
year after year
the warbler’s trill
breezes through shutters
in my mind
wondering
who hears the hum
doubling everything
with the tilt of my noggin
raising
good
vibrations
l’chaim!
Love these, especially the first one Pamela.
Thank you Madeleine!
Means a lot!
Awww…your welcome, Pamela! :-)
so fast on her feet
she doesn’t need
a running mate
fast fluttering
gets her early
to all buffets
Lol, Wendy!
the buzz
from these 5 syllables
erases stings of starless nights
Wendy, I love it! I just keep wondering what the 5 syllables are! Very interactive. Haha!
thank you. Pamela! you hit the nail right on
that is exactly my goal with this one!
the universe dialing
every twenty two minutes
a heart throb
~ ~ ~
the little dog
asleep
on the laptop
~ ~ ~
the crew’s
beat
at Notre Dame
“crew’s beat” is a reference to the dance team’s movements around the steel scaffolding during one of the acts of the opening ceremony in Paris, yesterday.
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
“Buy me now,”
urges the gewgaw
on a clearance shelf
Congratulations, Pamela, on your verse.
unidentifiable
vibration
–Pamela Harry
it’s difficult
to find the end
of a mobius strip
.
Otto looks
at the finger
of his vest
(This is an intentional “Otto Correct” moment. )
the walls
covered in
origami creations
.
from the ceiling
hangs
some origami cranes
.
from the ceiling
hangs some origami
creations
Hi Nancy! Thank you.
Wonderful Nan, the “origami creations”…and “cranes”. I had to look up mobius strips…so interesting and Otto needs no introduction! :)
awakened
by the turn off
of the tv
awake I leap seconds
before morning alarm
year after year
each becoming one
hovering hummingbird
our morning kisses
touching each-other
in my pocketbook
his charged hearing aids
doubling everything
with the tilt of her noggin
awakened
by the turn off
of the tv
Pamela Garry
a keeper!!!! Pamela
this is so relatable!
Thank you Wendy. So helpful to get feedback.
an arm a leg
a torso a foot
scattered in the cellar
an arm a leg
a torso a foot
scattered about
a matching flirty eye
somewhere inside
the doll parts draw
somewhere inside
the doll parts draw
a matching flirty eye
somewhere
inside the doll parts draw
a matching flirty eye
oooops!
a matching flirty eye
somewhere inside
the doll parts drawer
somewhere inside
the doll parts drawer
a matching flirty eye
somewhere
inside the doll parts drawer
a matching flirty eye
like this version of yours… best….rob
and i love how open you left it….
so easy to link to!!!
thank you wendy
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
Idea in haste
as it crosses stage wrapped up
in its soliloquy
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
a swoosh
down the flue, stirs embers
into flame
every night
the sound of footsteps
keeps her awake
the tremble of emotion
inside asylum rooms
grows intense
hey hummingbirds
it’s so much easier
to walk
I know
elephant droppings
when I see them *
a smile
when next door’s teen
calls me brat
unable to suppress
a burst of laughter
on the waterbed
* True
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela Garry
*
a beer mat folded
to fix the pub’s
wobbly table
Good one, Andrew! (It reminds me of my childhood)
the way
a wife falls
for a pink computer
the sleeping man
recognised only
by the doorcam
a dash
of cannabinol
in the pot roast
after coitus
we pick up
where we left off
a dash
of cannabinol
in the pot roast
“Pot roast” , indeed, Keith. (ah, the 60’s into the ’70s. The benefits of gardening. Crop raiders climbing over the fence.
(I googled ‘cannabinol’, though. Learn something everyday.)
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry ( congratulations)
as the award’s announced
the Best Wrecking Crew
goes to pieces
(or if Best Wrecking Crew is seen as proper nouns, then in lower case)
all through
the candidates’ debate
the cat on a cushion
(and, if we are going outside …)
over
and over
the song of a whale
Thank you Keith! I especially appreciate your words to the hummingbird.
the reminding plea
of a disabled
touchpad
the peaks
and troughs
of arrhythmia
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela Garry
bug-eyed chortles
as grampa winks with glee
at gramma’s harrumphs
Sorry…an extra verse snuck by me
This is delightful, Betty.
chortle
/ˈtʃɔːtl/
verb
3rd person present: chortles
laugh in a noisy, gleeful way.
“he chortled at his own pun”
—
“chorties” was a new one for me, Betty,, but once I understood that word, the scene, in all its humour, came across for me. Nicely done.
bug-eyed chortles
as grampa winks with glee
at gramma’s harrumphs
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
a kachina doll
trembles
in the child’s crib
inside the room
unexplained points of light
sweep up and down
vitriolic rage
rumbles from foul words
spewed out of his mouth
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
no one
can find
the salt shaker
~ ~ ~
dragging
the veggie burger
through the shake ‘n bake
a buzz
from the non-alcoholic
beer
~ ~ ~
our math teacher
tells us to buzz off
the end of class
yes, madeleine, lol, even math teachers can count on the values of fun!
btw: talking about buzz… i wanted to apologize for spelling your last name incorrectly all week long. you took this so well! glad it got corrected on the renku!
at the spelling bee
spelling buzz
b u z e
Absolutely love this, Wendy…the clever meaning and spelling of the last line! Lol!😂 Yeah, it was a fun class…no worries, good that it got corrected :-)
madeleine, glad you had fun in the class and fun with my buzzy words.
Thanks Wendy. :-)
unidentifiable
vibrations – Pamela Garry
—
instinct leads us
to Gran’s long unopened
bedside drawer
Hilarious, Lorin! Five stars for laughter, narrative or not…
Fantastic response to Lorin’s verse, Keith. Lorin, great verse there, making me chuckle with the humor of it. I wonder how many Grandmothers are rethinking what/where to stash “prized possessions” now.
Thanks, Keith and Nancy. I’m happy it gave you a laugh. :-)
. . . and, having now scrolled down and read or re-read from the beginning, my overdue congratulations to Pamela for this week’s chosen verse:
unidentifiable
vibrations – Pamela Garry
Pamela, your verse is intriguing. It brings a sense of mystery and allows many possibilities for the responding verses.. My apologies, now, for my rather late congratulations. My excuse: I was hurt and upset.
I’d thought I’d congratulated you on your selected verse early on, but I realise now that, as I was about to do so, I was confronted by some outstanding instances of defamation of character (defamation of my character) by the self-appointed “class monitor”, Wendy C. Bialek and a few others who seem to have fallen under her influence.
(Wendy, that mouth of yours will some day get you into a lot of trouble in your ‘real life’, if it hasn’t already, and quite possibly here at The Haiku Foundation as well.)
.
The intelligent course is the one offered by Betty Shropshire, I see (having just now scrolled down)
I’m certainly grateful for Betty’s wise approach to this blow-up:
Betty Shropshire
July 26, 2024 at 11:00 pm
(I’m leaving out Betty’s personal things here, and the italics are mine, for emphasis – L )
“Dan, chill out dude. . . . This renku is nothing to stress over… do read the links as they are truly helpful. ignore the passive aggressive posts/verses…it says more about them than you. Most of us have been where you are so please hang in there. Yeah, it’s cool to have a verse selected but take with a grain of salt the overly ebullient congratulations …it is weird but again, that’s their thing…peace out, Betty ”
—
(Thanks, Betty. I’m in the process of trying to ” peace out” still. )
on the table
photo of grandfather and family
beautifully framed
unidentifiable
vibrations
——-Pamela Garry
.
his collection
of FBI most-wanted posters
cataloged by year
.
a faded watercolor
of apples and oranges
in morning sunlight
.
monochrome shadows
crisscross
the marble floor
.
the tv remote
has stopped talking
to the tv
.
alexa suggests
that perhaps I should
go outside more often
These are great, Jonathan, especially the first one and the last two. The latter’s droll humor reminds me of one of Zbigniew Herbert’s prose poems:
Objects
Inanimate objects are always correct and cannot, unfortunately, be reproached with anything. I have never observed a chair shift from one foot to another, or a bed rear on its hind legs. And tables, even when they are tired, will not dare to bend their knees. I suspect that objects do this from pedagogical considerations, to reprove us constantly for our instability.
Richard, thanks for your compliments and also for bringing Z. Herbert’s work back to my attention. A powerful artist I had all but forgotten about. I just ordered his collected poems.
her eyes
my heart says
this is love
unidentifiable
vibrations – Pamela Garry
feel the cosmos
hum on
starry nights
howls of
laughter down
the hospice hallway
dan, i really like this one:
feel the cosmos
hum on
starry nights
can’t stop humming this:
https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=see+the+pyrimids+in+ole+algiers#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:e1602b19,vid:ly9u-38VieE,st:0
Gracias Wendy!
dan and wendy, i just listened to the
first sung line of this song and it fits
the words to your verse perfectly–
try it for yourself! cool wendy!
feel the cos-mos hum on star-ry nights
see the py-ra-mids along the nile
love hearing her voice
all the way
to voting day
the sound
of sweet
mambo sauce
still whisking on
a sharp & tangy
kamela sweet sauce
oooops!
still whisking on
a sharp & tangy
kamala sweet sauce
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
at a seance
the medium calls out,
“Is anyone there”
under every roof
the thing that is not there
and the thing that is
she sticks pins
into the voodoo doll’s
belly
the incessant hum
of electric current
suddenly silent
Congrats and thank you Pamela for another gem!!
reading my old
diary uncovers
a different man
choking on dust
from a
buffalo stampede
a single
feather
floating in the breeze
Thanks, Dan!
unidentifiable
vibrations
*
Pamela Garry
*
the merest
breath
moves the Ouija planchette
*
the game of charades
over
in record time
*
the steady march
in place on the treadle
sewing machine
*
or, better, maybe–
*
the steady march in place
on the treadle
sewing machine
Correction:
emanations from
the hidden key
in her sock drawer
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
emanations from
the hidden key
her sock drawer
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
from deep in the well
poltergeists
create a racket
or
is the sound’
from deep in the well
poltergeists
an avalanche of seeds
from the potted palm
These two have a strong link. : the vibrations could b in her mind, or something completely external, though most likely inside the house. If outside, the link is narrative/picaresque : ie, this is what happened/what we saw or heard next.
9
the cool
of the house
at the back of her mind
10
unidentifiable
vibrations
11
I give up on th9s one
Warmest wishes for your continued recovery, John. Another intriguing selection, Patricia, from such a multifarious multitude. And congratulations on your mysteriously vibrant and vibrating link, Pamela!
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
in a drawer
the tuning fork
in tune
a hornet’s nest
by the burnt-out
lightbulb
behind closed
Venetian blinds
a trapped fly
getting warmer
in the overhead bag
a handheld fan
a rippling
in the giant’s
teacup
sparkles
from a host
of prisms
Thank you Richard.
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
a spider
hurrying back to
the center
a marble
sliding sideways
on linoleum
the spinning
washer shaking
a ceiling lamp
from side to side
balloons moving as one
across the ceiling
knocking over
the house of cards
a nervous knee
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
from a pile
of dirty laundry
the cats purr
a grumbling
of stomachs around
the dinner table
in the crawlspace
a “little man” fires up
the dehumidifier
in the toy box
something on batteries
wants to play
on the pillow
a mosquito plays
its tiny violin
richard,
i love the playfulness this one displays
in the toy box
something on batteries
wants to play
—-richard straw
Thanks, Wendy! (Sorry for the delayed reply.)
These are wonderful…all of them, Richard! :)
…especially..”the spider hurrying back” and “a nervous knee”!
Richard, I concur with Wendy, too about the playfulness of “..in the toy box…”! :)
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela Garry
gorilla glue
holding tight
the gewgaw on the shelf
Love this Pamela…and the alliteration!
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
please
stop eating
this leftover pizza
LOL! just got an aHa from this now! Barbara!
don’t know if it is the one you intended.
trying to defuse
another bomb
in the online workshop
knocking over
the bearded men
in a game of guess who
another wave
of untruths
on truth social
no bandages
small enough
in the first aid box
Tracy, I especially like ‘no bandages small enough…’
me too!!!! tracy and pamela
Count me in!
unidentifiable
vibrations
*
Pamela Garry
*
again the cat
makes the dog
the fall guy
*
too many kittens
to say
whodunit
*
what looks like
remorse
in a suspect puppy
*
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
in the warehouse, lights
dim, flicker, then disappear
into massive silence
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
under the floorboards
the beat of the dead
man’s heart
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
the scent of healed
flesh fills the cancer ward
after prayer
i
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
the scent of healed
flesh fills the cancer ward
after prayer
in the warehouse, lights
dim, flicker, then disappear
into massive silence
under the floorboards
the beat of the dead
man’s heart
Nice allusion to Poe’s Tell-Tale Heart!
water waves
wavering for no reason
people scatter
happened in the middle of the night
all residents
sound asleep
choosing a sound
for the coming
aha button
so many rules
for what can
and can’t be done
searching
for clues
frame by frame
injecting new life
into the struggling
campaign
thunder rattles
the tea cups
in their saucers
tap tap tap
from within
the coffin
on the top shelf
connect 4
just out of reach
living off the grid
the sound of everything
above and below
living off the grid
the sound of
anything anywhere
off grid living
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzrNxolSilk
yes, very cool, carol….i remember that game…it was shelved in the family game room, lots of pieces to it.
If we couldn’t play quietly together that’s the place mother would put it :/
how interesting, thank you for sharing this, carol.
as a single parent with two active, and always curious children….they had so many toys, i used the attic to store and rotate their toys, when it appeared they were tiring from them.
providing a steady flow of stimulation.
some toys that never got played with….i would rewrap and reintroduce to them on birthdays. hoping in time, they would take a liking to them.
some unplayed
game
still in its box
Congratulations, Pamela. A spooky little verse, I think, that links perfectly. A great choice, Patricia.
Thanks Carol. I am enjoying your verses.
Thanks, Pamela :)
” take us to the outside world (as opposed to the interior world of the mind)—we need a concrete image in this verse, and preferably indoors; ”
“link to verse ten in some fashion;”
“the door is open for all topics: war, politics, death, or any wild or bizarre subjects (in this section of the renku the party gets going full steam — arguments, clowning, tears, all happen here);
—
the cool
of the house
at the back of her mind – madeleine kavanaugh
—
unidentifiable
vibrations – Pamela Garry
—
even the tour guide
in this Sumatran cave
has crossed fingers
—
unidentifiable
vibrations – Pamela Garry
—
who forgot
to shut down the detector
in the beach hut?
—
unidentifiable
vibrations – Pamela Garry
—
as things turned out
it was just the cat purring
on the intercom
—
unidentifiable
vibrations – Pamela Garry
—
until our eldest
entertained the neighbours
with his theremin
—
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
on the bar
my martini shakes
itself
the curios slide
slightly off their dusty
footprints
so inspiring, john,
……knick-knacks shift
like renku
verses
?jd
broken harmony
and counterpoints
in the rehearsal
the sound
of a sore loser
half way through
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela Garry
a note drops
through the mail-slot
in the nick of time
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
at the funeral parlor wake
a spirit of goodness flows
out of her casket
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela Garry
the eyes on the wall
following her
with each passing
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
a bath bomb
mistakenly rolls
into the bidet
:) :) nice one, Wendy.
thanks, carol!
Love this! :).
hi deb! glad to hear you’re around again.
thanks
LMAO!
hi C.!
LOL! at your LMAO!
(that’s about what it sounds like!)
glad it tickled your funny bone!
her pulse quickens
as she changes
the batteries
the first thing
tossed in the garbage
when he moved in
the first thing
he tried to toss out
after moving in
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
a shower bomb
mistakenly rolls
into the bidet
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
this is so intriguing and mysterious pamela,
unlike any verse i’ve ever read on a renku.
it just sits there, mysterious and unusual.
just like a sound or vibration one feels or hears,
that they can’t identify.
so this one i give an a plus because as the
shortest verse i have ever read, it sure packs
a planet’s worth of power.
and patricia you chose this one over so many
other fine verses and i think i know why–
a new mysterious direction in the renku.
thank you for that. here we go…..
Thank you muchly Rob, for this wonderful response. and thank you Eavonka. I imagine mom’s essential tremors when she opens each birthday card.
ps– patricia, forgot to thank you for
including me in the long and short.
I continue to learn so much from your selection process, Patricia. Congratulations, Pamela!🎉
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
mom opens
each birthday card
with care
we put away
what is left after
the party
I wish that I could say the same thing! Goddammit, I made an extra effort this week to no avail. I am getting very frustrated with the methodology here and am this close (—) to saying f–k it for good. With all due respect, I don’t see the appeal of renku as opposed to haiku. This seems to be verbal masurbation.
In renku, a person only contributes a rather disjointed thought to an already bizarre string of nearly meaningless stuff. Other than the “thrill” of having a tiny verse selected and being fawned over by fellow contributors, I hardly get it. I would rather devote this time to something I understand – like internet pornography.
Have fun everybody, and may God bless that bum eye of Mr. Stevenson. Over and out ……………………
unidentifiable
vibrations
a farmer
buries his cock
behind the chicken coop
totally inappropriate
sabaki is our guide through all
this is not blood sport
please apologize dan
I will not apologize. I was not being critical of the judging. I only regret that I do not appear to be intelligent enough to understand the link and shift process.
tall on intelligence
just
short on patience
Hi Dan,
If it’s any consolation, I don’t know what I am doing either, and I am trying my best each week too. My first time was last year with John Stevenson which I had one selection and the second time with Marshall Hryciuk which boy I had no luck at all! I wanted to throw in the towel too. But I am trying again with Patricia. I know it is not easy. I too seek the “thrill” and being “fawned” over, but sometimes I miss the mark. I think it’s ok to feel frustrated but you’re not alone. Please stay and hang out with us. It’s been fun to read everyone’s ideas and submissions and to learn more about renku. Also, I really enjoyed your response verse, it made me laugh, and I laughed out loud! Also, with your preface, I likened it to a “haibun” although I am not an expert on that at all. If you don’t stay, which will be a bummer, I hope that you can get past this, and be happy and keep writing.
All The Best,
Diana
diana,
fine job of compassion in your spot-on note to dan and astute observation in seeing his offering as a haibun, i also felt the haibun and it’s value in dan’s total offering!
haibun and its value
“I do not appear to be intelligent enough to understand the link and shift process.” – Dan MacDonald
LINK AND SHIFT
A Practical Guide to Renku Composition
Tadashi Shôkan Kondô and William J. Higginson
Edited for the WWW by William J. Higginson
http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/Link_Shift.html
I would like to make it clear – I was not complaining about the way this renku is being conducted at all. I admire the job Patricia does. My frustration is mostly due to my failure to follow the directions and adequately study renku technique. To be honest, I much prefer writing haiku.
I regret that I kind of “burst into tears” in front of you. Your replies to me have without exception been very kind. Thank you!
” In renku, a person only contributes a rather disjointed thought to an already bizarre string of nearly meaningless stuff. Other than the “thrill” of having a tiny verse selected and being fawned over by fellow contributors, ” – Dan
Dan, I understand your frustration but you can’t damn all renku just because it occurs to you that one renku seems to consist of adding “a rather disjointed thought to an already bizarre string of nearly meaningless stuff”.
Also “. . .the “thrill” of having a tiny verse selected and being fawned over by fellow contributors, …” doesn’t apply to all renku and doesn’t even apply to all renku composed on THF. (Thank goodness! ) It’s nice to have one’s verse appreciated and congratulated, but I. too, have found that , in this particular renku, there are those who it seems want to lay on the praise etc. a bit to thick for my liking, and one just has to scroll past it all.
So you’ve spat the dummy (probably the USA version of that is “ejaculated the pacifier”…I’m not sure. “dummy”, “pacifier”, those rubber things given to babies to suck on) You could now go to the THF renku archives, and read through the variety of finished renku to date: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-haiku-foundation-renku-archive/
And try to find some translations of Basho’s renku (haikai no renga).
This renku, I hope, will not be the last THF renku.
cheers,
Lorin
thank you too lorin, for helping dan.
truly only dan can decide for himself if lorin has helped him.
i, for one believe dan knows how to link and shift…he has done that well. i have followed everything diligently week after week, he has already received the url links for all higginson renku home information. This is not the problem, imho. i found that dan did not always heed the suggestions of the sabaki…as they were listed at the top page delivering instructions and the ones that arose as pop ups in comments. As you know, following the guides will be helpful and can increase one’s chances of landing on the lists and being accepted in renku….but it doesn’t come with automatic guaranties. there are so many things other than following rules that come into play.
1. the check list of sabaki
2. the personal appeal to the sabaki
3. the perspective of sabaki….what, not only links best and shifts best, but what is best and most open to future linking.
and i could go on….
just because something you may think works well, and if it is not given recognition…..shouldn’t be interpreted as not being good….it just wasn’t the best for that specific slot.
to give up….when you don’t get instant gratification…is to not learn how the game works and not to benefit from the joy of the journey.
the sound of the horse
being taken
to water
on second read of your post to dan,
looks like what appeared to be you
coming to his aid is really your
self-promotion in disguise, like sending
him to the archives where you ran an
earlier renku.
patricia is sabaki this time and deserves
respect, not your constant criticism.
lorin,
i hear dan’s frustration with understanding how to do this(or any) renku.
i hear your frustration with patricia’s sabaki-ing on this renku.
they are different.
and somehow i hear you trying to guide dan to “dislike” this renku as it is not going as you would like it to go…in your direction. is this showing how to respect a sabaki? or helping him stay with this renku?
the sound
of manipulating
somebody’s frustration
” hear your frustration with patricia’s sabaki-ing on this renku.” – Wendy C. Bialek
Wendy, perhaps it’s time you had your hearing checked. I’m not frustrated with anything and certainly not with Patricia as the sabaki of this haiku. Where you got such an idea is beyond me.
This is outright bulldust:
” and somehow i hear you trying to guide dan to “dislike” this renku as it is not going as you would like it to go…in your direction.”
I have no idea what “direction” I would like this renku to go in. The idea of direction didn’t even occur to me. I expect it will go “in the direction” of a Ninjuin renku, as Patricia stated at the start.
“and somehow i hear you trying to guide dan to “dislike” this renku as it is not going as you would like it to go…in your direction. is this showing how to respect a sabaki? or helping him stay with this renku?
the sound
of manipulating
somebody’s frustration : Wendy C, Bialek
(I suggest you get your hearing checked, Wendy)
—
I really don’t know how to respond to this. It’s all rubbish, But scary rubbish. Manipulative rubbish. Is it an attempt to publicly shame me? (on false premises) I honestly don’t know how you get away with this sort of public nastiness, this sort of taunting. I don’t understand why you seem to enjoy it, either, but it worries me.
reposting in response to lorin’s
post to dan:
lorin–on second read of your post to dan,
looks like what appeared to be you
coming to his aid is really your
self-promotion in disguise, like sending
him to the archives where you ran an
earlier renku.
patricia is sabaki this time and deserves
respect, not your constant criticism.
There are those who enjoy being nasty, Rob. I’m sorry you’ve decided to join the ranks of those few who enjoy publishing nasty, smart-arsed comments about other participants.
re your “patricia is sabaki this time and deserves respect, not your constant criticism.” I pity you. You sound like Wendy C, Bialek when she is in a nasty phase.
Point out to me, please, where I have criticized Patricia even once, let alone constantly. Point out to me, also, where I have shown disrespect to anyone who’s taken on the task of being a sabaki. I don’t need this bullshit, no doubt originating with the delightful Wendy C. (If you’re a good dog, though, she might give you a pat on the head.)
(Well, it issaid that we might fight fire with fire. I hope you find all this BS entertaining,)
And I don’t promote myself “in disguise” or otherwise. I’m too old now to bother with anything like that.
Yes, I was sabaki for one THF renku, which is archived along with all the others. I’ve participated in many THF renku and for the most part I’ve enjoyed them. At THF, I feel lucky to have participated in quite a few sabaki-ed by John Stevenson. He is a master & excellent teacher and I would direct anyone interested to read through his work.
—
Ah, Wendy, what can I say? Though I’m surprised by Rob’s sudden nastiness, I’m well-schooled in the delight you’ve taken in casting negative impressions onto people, such as myself, and even taunting them for your own entertainment. I’d thought you’d got over that phase. Looks like you have a new recruit in Rob Barkan, though, so I expect you’ll begin again. I’ll do my best to ignore .
dan, i apologize for coming on like the
reactionary renku police. i too have
suffered when my verses make the lists
and don’t “win”, and some weeks none
of them appear. so i just try harder. you
must try harder too and trust patricia’s
judgement.
pamela your compassionate response
to dan’s frustration is so admirable.
thank you for consoling dan in a calm,
kind manner.
a week of mixups!
i meant diana not pamela!
Thank you Rob and Wendy!
HI Dan
I hope your not leaving us so soon.
I’ve been posting verses in the renku since 2014 and still learning, its not the easiest of poetry form, and I’m still fumbling about putting words together. I too found it frustrating but now, its just a fun thing to participate in.
Some you win some you lose. At the end of the day its only words. Keep posting and have fun :)
Hi Dan
sorry to hear you’ve had a negative experience with this renku.
But you’re under no obligation to like it.
It’s difficult when there are so many contributions throwing up so many different avenues down which the renku might go, and frustrating not to have ones own verses selected.
If you still have some interest I’d suggest you try a little Rengay, where working with just one other you will creating half the poem and hopefully enjoy the link/shift process.
andrew….this is a great and reasonable suggestion….it could help anyone to transition by giving rengay a twirl first.
and then again…..
after all–
renku’s not
an everyman’s tea
Dan, chill out dude. I’ve lost my mother in law and niece this week. This renku is nothing to stress over…do read the links as they are truly helpful. ignore the passive aggressive posts/verses…it says more about them than you. Most of us have been where you are so please hang in there. Yeah, it’s cool to have a verse selected but take with a grain of salt the overly ebullient congratulations…it is weird but again, that’s their thing…peace out, Betty
sorry for your tremendous loss, Betty.
My sincere condolences for your losses, Betty. May cherished memories of them comfort you now and in the days to come.
I am very sorry to hear of your recent losses, Betty. My condolences to you and your family.
Betty, my sincere condolences for your loss of both mother and niece .
Your post, here, gives everyone the intelligent view and the intelligent course to take. Thanks for posting it.
how to reassure
these growing pains
are worth the wait
These are very lovely, Eavonka…tenderness and love comes through.
They pull at my heart strings…
Eavonka Ettinger
mom opens
each birthday card
with care
we put away
what is left after
the party
unidentifiable
vibrations –Pamela Garry
in the grocery isle,
theater, salon, or shop,
the lurker, otto
the funeral director’s
hesitations to set
a final price
the funeral director’s
hesitations to set
a final price
-jd
love it! John!
Thank you Wendy. I am not sure there is enough vibration in the director’s hesitation, but anyone who has had to deal with this problem knows the feelings generated here.
john,
if you want to increase vibration
(ironically) perhaps dropping the last ‘s’
on hestitations could do it.
Interesting about the mixup! And they both start with “un”! :)
Congratulations to Pamela! I really like this one! I also can relate to Mimi’s!
More healing prayers to John! And thank you Patricia! Safe travels!
the cool
of the house
at the back of her mind
madeleine kavanaugh
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
whether it’s
stealth bombers or earthquakes
knick-knacks always get knocked over
Diana Ming Jeong
this one is a sure winner for me, Diana!
Thank you so much Wendy! :)
whether it’s
stealth bombers or earthquakes
knick-knacks always get knocked over
Diana Ming Jeong
this one rates a 10 on the richter scale
Haha thank you Rob! I appreciate your response using the richter scale! :)
Thank you Diana!
Diana, I agree with Wendy and Rob! :-)
Thank you Madeleine!
the alienist’s report
floated
into the recycling bin
the alienist’s report
floats
into the recycling bin
weeks later
the restaurant’s buzzer
found in a dinner jacket
the restaurant’s buzzer
found
in a dinner jacket
unidentifiable
vibrations
— Pamela Garry
copper pennies
amid the shards
of the smashed piggybank
unidentifiable
vibrations
*
Pamela Garry
*
the crowd
of texts
on the family chat
c
I love it Laurie :-)
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
cries of so long
to the waiting line left
with a forgotten buzzer
having left the long line
in the restaurant’s lobby
with a buzzer
pocketing the restaurant buzzer
ooops!
pocketing
the restaurant’s
buzzer
Lol, Wendy!
thanks, madeleine….glad you got to lol!
:-)
This is great Wendy! I love it!
thanks, diana
:-) :-) :-)
are these smiley
signs or the sound
of something in your pocket
thanks, lorin
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
a martian listens
to something good good good
from the beach boys
my son listens
to something good good good
from the beach boys
I should have written this version in the first place, as he loves the beach boys…this song “Good Vibrations” in particular:)
the family
gets a good feeling
from the new neighbors
~ ~ ~
a family gets
good feelings
from the new neighbor
an alien listens
to something good good good
from the beach boys
*I meant someone from space…an extraterrestrial. I think even a martian would be too close.
unidentifiable
vibrations
*
Pamela Garry
*
her service dog
begins to walk
in small circles
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
a clear and present danger
verses
a clear winner
Wendy, I’d lay odds that when you write “verses’ in this verse
“a clear and present danger
verses
a clear winner” – Wendy
.you actually mean “versus”. Hard to tell whether it’s your own amusing spello or that of an AI you rely on to spell your words for you.
no lurking AI here lorin….
my fingers and mind get into habits, stuck on the same typing patterns they are most and frequently used.
thanks for pointing out my error,
lorin
a clear and present danger
versus
a clear winner
unidentifiable
vibrations
*
Pamela Garry
*
startled
by the parrot’s
vocabulary
*
unidentifiable
vibrations
*
Pamela Garry
*
so many guesses
about
a running mate
*
tossing out another name
for a possible
running mate
*
unidentifiable
vibrations
*
Pamela Garry
*
a strange voice
bleeds
from the ear buds
*
strange voices
leak
from the ear buds
*
Hi Patricia
Hope you are having a great vacation…. It’s my name on the final list, ( “what’s happening in the renku so far”) it somehow managed to sneak past, if you could change it. :-)
Pamela, congratulations! It’s a very unique and striking verse and adds quite a dash of pizzazz to our amazing renku creation. A perfect choice Patricia, and looks like it will be a lot of fun to link to… a joy to read all the verses through out this week and I love the selections in your showcase. Hope you have a wonderful and safe vacation!
Pamela, I wanted to congratulate you on your splendid haiku, “rhythm of waves”, selected for commentary on Haiku Dialogue, yesterday!
So sweet of you Madeleine! I am extra honored that you like it!
Awww, :-) Thanks, Pamela.
In homage to Pamela’s wonderful verse
a warm evening
wrapped up in good good good
vibrations
Patricia–first, thanks for retaining my original verse. And once more you’ve made a wonderful selection from a stunning wealth of possibilities.
Congratulations, Pamela. A lot to work with here!
unidentifiable
vibrations
*
Pamela Garry
*
stirred
then shaken
just for good measure
Thanks Laurie!
three lines:
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
despite all distractions
there’s
a clear winner
Great choice Patricia!
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
despite all distractions
there’s a clear winner
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
despite all distractions
there’s
a clear winner
Hello, Pamela and Rob and all–don’t know how Mimi’s verse got in there at the end of the renku–can I possibly blame Otto? The tenth verse is Pamela’s.
And Rob, when I ask for outside, I am asking for something external to the human consciousness (the last two verses have to do with interior processes). When I said I prefer an indoors scene that is as opposed to an outdoors scene.
Thank you for the questions; hope this clarifies both issues.
Thank you Patricia for this delightful honor!
Congrats! Pamela a great link and shift! with unlimited abilities for responses!
unidentifiable
vibrations
Pamela Garry
Thanks Wendy!
Hi Patricia, I am wondering which one is your choice? My verse- unidentifiable /
vibrations, or Mimi’s verse – unable to remember / the computer password?
patricia, please note that although you chose
pamela’s verse this week, what appears in the
“renku so far” just below it is not pamela’s–
it is mimi’s.
also in your instructions you ask for the outside
world but then request “a concrete image in this verse,
and preferably INDOORS”
please clear this up before you depart, nobody knows
what to write or link to.
have a safe, enjoyable journey, and gratitude for your
hard work as sabaki.