The Renku Sessions: Rendezvous – Week 8
The Renku Sessions continue on The Haiku Foundation. I am Patricia Machmiller and I am honored to be your guide for an eighteen-verse renku, in which we will compose one verse per week until completion.
Hello, everyone. After a long week this verse hit home:
when everyone is in
lockdown – where
do the homeless go?
Kanjini Devi
This verse is not a candidate for the renku because it’s not an autumn verse, and yet it is so relevant to our time. Thank you, Kanjini, for reminding us that the most vulnerable in our society are in the greatest danger.
Apologies to you all. I had some deadlines to meet the last few days and so I didn’t catch some questions before the midnight hour on Tuesday. So, these answers don’t help for this round, but perhaps they may be useful going forward.
Of sardines and things: Yes, I think if we are using them for the seasonal element, they should be live or being prepared or being caught or be involved in some activity that occurs in the season. Opening a can of sardines or seeing them in a painting—these occurrences do not evoke a season.
Regarding using a kigo that someone else has used first: I don’t see it as bad form. Renku writing is a collaborative endeavor and the energy of the creative process feeds on the group offerings. That includes one person’s suggested kigo triggering another person’s idea. This has been my experience writing renku in Japan—the most important thing is the poem. The idea is to share contributions so that from the group the best verse emerges. Actually, if we were together writing and offering verses in real time, there would be much more collaboration and group revision of verses; the primary goal is to make a better poem.
And Robert, I think Lorin’s information about goats and sheep was spot on.
Finally, on the question of “bushfire” and “wildfire” as indicators of autumn: clearly “bushfire” has a very strong association with summer for many. And even the association of “wildfire” with autumn has been weakened by what has happened in recent years. So, thank you to those who offered verses with those topics; in the end I decided they could not do the work we needed for this verse.
Here are some verse that struck me as possible candidates for this, the seventh verse:
inmates
on a treadmill
grinding corn
Carol Jones
in this swirling fog
my world and I are lost
to each other
*
covered in hoar frost
the world has aged
overnight
Judt Shrode
the pear he knocked
off the kitchen table
is also bruised
*
it’s a long wait
in the long queue
for new rice
Lorin Ford
in stillness
falling leaves
change direction
*
in early light
the frost covered leaves
become one
Steve Tabb
leaves gather
on the seats of the swings
in the closed playground
*
once more Persephone
returns to
the underworld
Andrew Shimield
disconnected
after a long night
on hold
Michael Henry Lee
stowaway cricket
carefully considers
the new terrain
Clysta Seney
left alone
the apple core
darkens
Mark Powderhill
scratching
an early layer of frost
from metal handlebars
Marilyn Potter
testing the water
stags tussle
on the hillside
Robert Kingston
grilled matsutake
more costly
than ever
*
hint of truffles
flavoring
the turducken
*
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
Betty Shropshire
sea salt air
the only hint of the beach
in this fog
Linda Weir
making our way
through the fog
we reached the mountain top
Pauline O’Carolan
the earth receives
countless numbers
of fallen leaves
Debbie Scheving
enjoying a bag
of toasted
pumpkin seeds
M. R. Defibaugh
her pet budgie
laid to rest
under fallen leaves
Liz Ann Winkler
My final choices came down to these two:
once more Persephone
returns to
the underworld
Andrew Shimield
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
Betty Shropshire
I like how both of these verses turned the gate in the previous verse into something mythical; in Andrew’s verse it becomes the entrance to the underworld, in Betty’s it the entrance to a cave. Both verses bring in allusions to old stories—Andrew’s back to Greek mythology; Betty’s back to a middle eastern folk tale. Andrew’s verse is very forthright in his reference to the Greek myth whereas Betty has cleverly disguised the allusion to “Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves” in her verse. Although both verses would make fine additions to our poem, the more subtle linking to the previous verse gives Betty’s verse the edge.
One more thing about these verses—the larger stories they allude to are love stories which lays the groundwork for our next verse.
So, here is our poem so far:
rendezvous —
snowshoes piled high
outside the sauna Sally Biggar
an antiphonal greeting
of one wolf to the others Mary Kendall
the jury still out
on gray
vs grey Laurie Greer
a little half-
and-half in my tea M. R. Defibaugh
scarecrows and
moons are the best
listeners Dan Campbell
at the autumn gates
who can hear me now Wendy C. Bialek
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India Betty Shropshire
And now instructions and considerations for our eighth verse, a love verse. This verse should link to the seventh verse, but have no connection to the sixth verse. The requirements for this verse are:
- a two-line poem of fourteen syllables or less
- this is a love verse. It is the first of a sequence of two or possibly three verses. In the renku the love verses are romantic love, not love of children or love of parents, for example. Note that we should avoid four-legged animals and musical references for one more verse. Avoid the mention of colors for the next two verses, no beverages for the next three, no celestial references for four verses, and no building structures like gates, fences, houses, doors, etc. for five verses. Avoid proper names and seed-like things for six verses; avoid foreign countries for a long while.
- a single syntactical structure flowing over two lines
Please enter your verses in the comments box, below. I will be reviewing these offers until midnight on Tuesday, April 14 (California time zone). On Thursday, April 16, there will be a new posting containing my selection for the eighth verse, some discussion of other appreciated verses, and instructions for composing the ninth verse.
Please stay safe and healthy. Do take all precautions. I hope you are enjoying the renku writing process. Even though we are trying to write a great poem, the best way to do that is to be playful and let your mind be free. And I look forward to hearing what’s on it!
Patricia
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with his pagri unwound
we make forty face masks
a magic carpet
instead of an uber
Love this one, Wendy! 🙂
thank you marion,
second blind date
sharing a ventilator
*
a snake’s proposal
pops from the rattan basket
exchanging bubbles for kisses
at the washing up bowl
we still sing in a low voice
the words of our song
*****************************
while it’s raining outside
I loosen the knot of his tie
*****************************
you wrap me with your wool scarf
when you feel my cough
your last verse is so tender, angiola
.
your second verse, “outside” has been used in first verse (hokku) and “out” third verse..(diasan) in renku.
.
your first verse….refers to music….which will be introduced next time….so maybe you can render it in three lines and submit next time in week 9
thank you Wendy, I am not very expert in renku, but I like to participate, and I don’t speak the English language
a paper aeroplane
with her number on it lands
on the the wrong desk
a paper aeroplane
with her number lands
on the wrong desk
rob you need a two liner for this one…..how about:
*
landing on the wrong desk
the paper plane with her number
*
or
*
paper plane with her number
lands on the wrong desk
Thanks Wendy. Don’t know what came over me.
Thanks for your suggestions.
I Will give it some thought.
Kind regards
Rob
her eyes fixed
on his bhangra moves
*
his and her families
arrange their rendezvous
*
her journal entries
fill with love poems
*
she slips her email address
into his pocket
first verse: may be too close to music?????? you might want to resubmit for next verse and make into three lines.
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s04SinDBXDc
*
second verse:
“rendezvous” repeat from hokku
*
third verse:
nice, liz
*
forth verse:
nice, liz
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
in her wake
a heart in the mirror
Robert, was it your verse that mentioned a paper plane or origami plane, in a past session?
This would fit the bill, here, I’m sure.
With the mention of ‘from India’
.
No harm in popping it in.
I think it is too late. Also I think it was a two liner.
Thanks for the heads up though Carole.
No worry, Robert, maybe post it for another session, don’t forget it 🙂
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
above the veil
she promises with a long gaze
.
or
.
above the mask
she promises with a long gaze
cheating at Monopoly
is her only fault
#######
he hopes he goes
before she goes
she prays
he stays
her tongue piercing
and other treasures
*
his wish: one night
and one thousand more
*
my wish: one night
and one thousand more
all nice, kiti
thank you, Wendy! 🙂
the couple in love
never minds being cooped-in
the couple in love
never minds being cooped-up
my smile when I pick her out
in a crowded place
ahhhh! how tender, mark. but “out” has been done twice…..
Yes, good point. I’d forgotten that!
Edit:
my smile as I catch sight of her
in a crowded place
he sends an elephant
to pick me up
ooops four legged!!!!!!!…..even if it is pottery???????? i suppose.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
*
their arranged marriage
on the rocks
*
the gooty tarantula
or me
*
found in a cave:
https://www.thehindu.com/news/national/tamil-nadu/rare-tarantula-sighted-in-villupuram-district/article29272058.ece
*
her peacock feather earrings
tickle his cheeks
*
their chat room romance
goes viral
a yellow ribbon
around her long black hair
“yellow” is a colour…..dan…..in patricia’s rule’s above:
And now instructions and considerations for our eighth verse, a love verse. This verse should link to the seventh verse, but have no connection to the sixth verse. The requirements for this verse are:
a two-line poem of fourteen syllables or less
this is a love verse. It is the first of a sequence of two or possibly three verses. In the renku the love verses are romantic love, not love of children or love of parents, for example. Note that we should avoid four-legged animals and musical references for one more verse. Avoid the mention of colors for the next two verses, no beverages for the next three, no celestial references for four verses, and no building structures like gates, fences, houses, doors, etc. for five verses. Avoid proper names and seed-like things for six verses; avoid foreign countries for a long while.
a single syntactical structure flowing over two lines
thanks Wendy, I need to review the rules more carefully
she nibbles his ear
with wholesome intents
her touch lingers
unburdening me
Nice Steve!
Congratulations, Betty, I’m upping the intrigue! Thank you, Patricia, for your extended elaborations on your picks!
*
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
*
his proposal from the front
S.W.A.K.
*
[sealed with a kiss]
*
~Autumn
That was meant to say “congratulations ON upping the intrigue.” Not “I’m”. It would be challenging indeed to up the intrigue ON your verse!!! $&@# autocorrect…
“Congratulations ON upping the intrigue”. Not “I’m.”
Not sure it would be possible to up the intrigue on your exotic verse—but autocorrect apparently feels up to the challenge!
Initially, my first comment wouldn’t post. Then it posted along with my second attempt. I think I’ll quit while I’m behind..
: /
No worries, Autumn, we’ve all been there! lol
So true 🙂
good idea! autumn
i mean your verse!!!!!!
sealed with a kiss….song by brian hyland
https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=sealed+with+a+kiss
Or as the extension goes Autumn
.
She Walks About Like Kakia
sweeping up the stars
Congrats Betty and previous poets who have had verses chosen – still following the renku and will try to be more active.
.
.
how to decide
if someone is worth swiping
.
he comes
in secret
.
in every nerve
high tide
.
that fork in his mouth
tastes of fleece
.
a bad day made worse
by a dead battery
.
.
brushing her hair
jumpstarts my battery
###########
murder suicide pacts
guarantee harmony
brushing her hair
recharges his battery
their smooth second date
is a first for them both
*
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
tipping the scales
with her come with me walk
.
checking out the banyan roots
he asks if I want children
.
.
.
.
Sorry, this is a duplicate. My feed was strangely messed up, and this verse came up as a reply to someone else’s verse (??). I restarted my phone, and it seems to be ok now.
Judt
this beautiful, judt!
the Kama Sutra
leaves us in kinks
afterwards, we pretend
it’s a magic carpet
I like this one Marion
Thanks Robert. There’s a definite oriental vibe going on here! 🙂
sounds of love and butterflies
exhaled from a cave
and as if by magic
they fall in love
Like it
Thank you, Michael—I was delighted to find last night that this one came up trumps! 🙂
Great verse, Betty. Brought me back to our local pantomime…in fact
.
first kiss in the back row
of the town hall pantomime
they emerge from spelunking
deeply in love
*
bonding over stalagmites
deep underground
*
spelunking their way
into each other’s hearts
*
“spelunking” is such a great word, isn’t it, Laurie? When I first heard it I thought it was a euphemism for naughtiness! 🙂
Ha ha–no telling what goes on underground. Plus it has that slight awkwardness about it that also fits for a tender new love.
Love the rhythm and moving forward in “spelunking their way…”
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
*
sandalwood incense
reignites their first time
Welcome back, hope you are having a nice weekend!
yes, thank you, dan….just perfect, cooking up a storm, barring high allergy day & arthritis attacks with rain on its way.
.
and how is you & yours…spent, dan?
Yes, I was wondering if you were ok.
thanks carol….i’m good!
*
how’s betty….hope she is not in the path of tornadic activity.
Great use of “reignites”, Betty.
thanks, marion….that wasn’t betty’s….it was mine.
*
don’t know where betty is….worried ’cause there were wild tornadoes in texas last night….and i know she lives there.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
*
sandelwood incense
reignites their first time
sorry typo/misspelled should read sanalwood
my wrong again….sandalwood
in the small jar
our toothbrushes are touching
like this one Mark
good link to the ali baba story
there are no words
for just how much
***
they would often arrange
marriages with their eyes
***
the tiny chapel
where they eloped
.
watching me do yoga
something in his eyes changes
.
she has a beautiful
brown middle finger
long and slender
is her middle finger
##########
her smile can disappear
for days but always returns
#########
colour….later
she wears work boots
more often than lingerie
her work boots
more sexy than lingerie
.
Apologies for the cheek, Dan! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Thanks Marion, I like it!
🙂 🙂 🙂
thatched hut honeymoon suite
with holes in the roof
###########
the priest laughed
when she said I do?
###########
I hid the banjo
until the honeymoon
Dan, the story behind “banjo” intrigued me. Save for next week when music is allowed?
Thanks Debbie, will do.
tweaking their chemistry
with alchemy
*
synchronizing their pace
on the gravel walk
*
her steadying hand as he pulls
a pebble from his shoe
*
forever a groomsman
yet never a groom
***********************
stirring up a little
heat in her kitchen
****************
illusory as ever are
the mysteries of love
Less obvious options:
.
.
attempting meditation
my mind sneaks away to him
.
.
attempting meditation
my mind slips away to him
.
.
Verse 2:
…
he cast his rod
then reeled her in
…
Verse 3:
…
she took her heart
and left it at his feet
…
Verse 4:
…
she sent him a parcel
and her heart
…
Verse 5:
…
the ink dried
before her tears
…
Verse 6:
…
by the holy river
we lay down together
…
Verse 7:
…
he said that love won’t grow
if it’s not fed
…
Verse 8:
…
she sent a letter to her love
and it came back
.
attempting meditation
my mind steals away to him
.
richly rewarded with love
after 40
*
saving his attachments
to a folder marked “treasure”
*
or: a couple of variations
.
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India – Betty Shropshire
.
the millionaire’s next bride
bursting with excitement
.
the billionaire’s next bride
bursting with excitement
.
Revision:
.
that first curry date scored high
on the hotness scale
.
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India — Betty Shropshire
.
the millionaire’s bride
bursting with excitement
.
she still gives me
the largest slice
no longer closed our
shared trip for new beginnings
~
her smile of approval
on tasting my hot curry
~
our only prospect
dependent on togetherness
*
even forty thieves
could not steal my heart
*
too obvious?
I like the forty thieves reference, Kanjini, but if they can’t steal it what chance has a lover?
reading her last love letter
a tear under the signature
*
when I leave I offer her
a forget-me-not flower
*
of her endless longing
I have more one white night
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
wedding invitations
arrived too late
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
a wedding dress
folded in a suitcase
something in the way she
bites into a hamburger
***
his man bun becoming
her quarantine fantasy
***
hearts drawn in chalk
on her driveway
***
wrapped up in her arms for
well over one thousand nights
***
she was the thief who stole
my heart in one night
***
you could say we took
a magic carpet ride
I guess any mention of the night might be to close to the moon verse, though.
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
out of the norm
he paints her toe nails
.
he paints her nails
to break the boredom
.
his and her jackets
attached at the cuff on the line
after a close shave
she mentions his soft cheek
“he paints her nails” makes me think of breaking a nail trying to open the packet, and it speaks to the boredom many are feeling now in quarantine. Well done! I assume painting nails isn’t in violation of color?
Thanks for the interest M.R
Yes, boredom is working in some wicked and wonderful ways.
We’ll have to see if Patricia accepts it.
nibbling on small talk
makes them hungry for more
*
.
the curry on our first date
scored high on the hotness scale
.
partaking of the essence
of the finest essential oils
*
the tricks of a handful
of the finest essential oil
*
one more time
she says
*****
she wiggles closer
warming me through
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
he whipped up tasty dishes
for the first date
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
he whipped up tasty Asian dishes
for the first date
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
spin the bottle
for his first kiss
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
airmail letters
tell their story
Congratulations Betty – a lovely verse. Hope your move takes you somewhere more dear to you and gives you strength and joy.
her eyes pop in surprise
at his unexpected gesture
sharing a cup of hot
chocolate under the blanket
########
between lonely and lucky
in dictionaries
########
I first found love
in alphabet soup
sang my serenade
under the wrong window
#########
her big brown eyes
still melt my heart
########
big balls sparked
a long lasting love
(I served in the Peace Corps in El Salvador many years ago and one weekend Zoila saw me playing basketball and began talking to me because she liked my legs!)
our first date postponed
until further notice
******************
on line dating leaves
a lot to be desired
*****************
checking me checking
her in the miror
Good ones–especially the first two!
each the other’s guru
and student of love
****
each the other’s guru
and student of love
*
traveling light hearted
on their long-awaited cruise
*
everything they need
in a pair of matching backpacks
*
It is a very cever, subtle verse, Betty. Congratulations. I hope you are feeling better today after your exhausting day yesterday. Pauline
…
Verse 1:
…
he finds enlightenment
between her thighs
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
the Beatles found their Yogi
but fans kept their love
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
the Beatles found their Yogi
but fans kept in love
in those days table
crumbs were magnificent
*
old love story
in fifteen photos
*
she navigated that birthmark
for decades
*
holding on
as we zoom uphill
*
still another slight revision
.
the state of their union
in an office gossipfest
slight revision
.
the state of their union
is an office gossipfest
.
checking out the banyan roots
he asks if I want children
.
I’m sorry, Ellen. I have zero idea why this happened.
.
the scent of freshly turned earth
for our very first garden
.
.
the scent of freshly turned earth
in our very first garden
.
I like this Judt. I wonder whether you need “very” in line 3.
Thanks, Robert. You’re right, it isn’t needed. But to my ear it adds emphasis and a touch of warmth to ‘first.’ I can’t really explain.
Thanks very much for your response!
I know what you mean, Judt. To my ear, it helps the rhythm, but it also allows the speaker to linger lovingly on something beloved.
Thanks, Laurie. I’m glad to hear you read it that way.
Judt
returns home evening
with his full lunch box
from her dimple cheeks
glow of hope and relief
—————————-
her kerchief with weave
of ‘love’ tucked in sari
————————–
sharing an umbrella
on a frosty Friday
the forgotten lei
in the back seat
*
Or
remembering the lei
in the back seat
*
I saw one on a dashboard this morning
Revisions:
the lei forgotten
in the back seat of the car
*
embarrassment as he misinterprets
wanderlust
pawnshop windows
filled with wedding rings
a roller coaster ride
of forty-three years
#######
she pours me coffee
during the argument
########
roosters crowed
over our first kiss
(I was 12 years old, it was in a barnyard and her name was Janice)
Dan, the three of these together make a sweet story. The rooster crow made me smile. The roller coaster is relatable. “she pours me coffee…”
is similar to a verse I have on my frig:
at the height
of the argument the old couple
pour each other tea
.
George Swede
Debbie, I’m glad you enjoyed them, I appreciate your comments.
making our lunch date
for the drive in movie
********************
our struggle with desire
begins with a kiss
********************
illusory as the wind,
her proposition
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
*
a twist of hair
kept in a locket
their regular tryst
at the hummingbird feeder
*
biting his tongue
before he can say it
*
they gather up the beads
for restringing later
*
“they gather up the beads…” is intriguing. The strand broke how? With possibilities to move forward in “…later.”
using ‘breach’ as a verb.
.
one more into the breach
with our flights of fancy
typo amendment –
.
once more into the breach
with our flights of fancy
A question, Patricia. Is there a time sequence in love verses…new/young love to long-time/old love? Thanks.
Judt
Good question, Judt.
I’ve given up on asking, I just go with the flow, now.
Hi, Judt–there is a time sequence in the love verses. But that doesn’t mean the first verse in the sequence has to be young love or the beginning of a romance. It just means that whenever the first verse in the sequence starts, the next verse must be farther along in the relationship. So some renku leaders might think it’s risky to choose, as the first verse of a love sequence, a verse that is deep into the relationship because it limits your choices for the subsequent love verses. But I’m not too concerned, Love has many phases: teen-age love, college love, engagement, marriage, pregnancy, divorce, remarriage, second-time-around love, love in the golden years. I would probably not choose for the first verse of the love sequence a verse about the golden years, but all the other phases, it seems to me, offer adequate opportunity for writing the follow-on verse.
Thanks! I was going golden.
Thank you, Patricia. I learned something new.
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
together they sow
dandelion dreams
.
girls have more fun
at the poker game
.
his third leg becomes hers
at the egg and spoon race
.
the sailor boy’s fish
in a new port
.
his wildly sown oats leaving bumps
all over town
Edit to verse thre
.
his third leg becomes hers
in the egg and spoon race
Now that’s so sweet, Robert, and if I may say could be a little suggestive. Nice.
Lolol! Love it, Rob!
Pleased you both enjoyed it!
Robert, “together they sow…” is lovely as an early romance entry.
Thank you Debbie
on the shag pile rug
our passion takes flight
Thanks, Patricia and Everyone! Have more to say tomorrow… very long day moving. My radiation treatments were abruptly stopped yesterday as it was deemed to toxic to my other organs to continue. So. overall it’s a good thing…we got out of the big city. Just exhausted.
Lorin, good question…
Betty
Take care Betty.
Yes, take care Betty, and hope you do catch-up when you are able to.
.
A very good question.
Betty–I hope the retreat from the city gives you respite and restores your strength.
dawn’s gentle transports
sooth the intercostal ache
Congrats Betty, on your verse. It intrigued me from the start but I wasn’t sure why. Thank you Patricia, for the explanation, and the mention.
*
bedside lamps
light two books
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India — Betty Shropshire
.
the young groom’s condom
still only halfway on
.
lorin,
i like this one, and how you are linking it!
…
regarding sesame seeds….
i had the same thoughts…..but i wanted to wait…..so betty could soak up congrats before bringing it up.
but since you have already….i will share my thoughts here as well:
*
sesame seeds….would be included in seeds and nuts in higg. 500 and listed under all autumn….but like sardines….they may need to be fresh, and maybe raw…..(maybe not roasted?????)
*
sesame seeds are sold raw and roasted in seed packets (both are dried) and come in black and and white (more like light beige) in the stores here where we shop.
*
halava….when i make it….is made by grinding them down to powdery paste when i add my other ingredients to it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JM4E9b2rYsU
her smile flecked with traces
of glitter from his card
*
Patricia, thank you for confirming the canned sardines issue.
.
That example was, I think , an extreme example of a word that doesn’t automatically evoke a season , but I also have this query :
.
When it comes to packaged goods like sesame seed (as differentiated from the sowing, flowering, harvesting, and processing of the seed and “new/ fresh/ sesame seed”) how can we know the season? Gabi Greve seems to have sesame seeds under early autumn, late autumn and mid-autumn on the same page :
.
https://indiasaijikiworlkhaiku.blogspot.com/2006/07/sesame.html
.
“Japan
.
sesame, goma ゴマ、ごま、胡麻
fresh sesame seeds, shin goma 新胡麻
cutting sesame plants, goma karu 胡麻刈る
…………. MORE
Goma … Sesame KIGO in mid-Autumn
.
The ‘500 Essential Japanese…’ has a generalized “seeds of grasses & forbs” as ‘all autumn’.
Haiku World has “nuts and seeds” as ‘all autumn’ (but the sample ku Higginson includes specifies “gathering nuts”)
.
But once we have a packaged product , imported (in this case) from India, do we still have a season?
.
Hi, Lorin– Interesting question. I don’t think of packaged seeds as being in the same category as canned sardines. The idea of canning sardines is to preserve them so that they can stay in your cupboard forever until you need them. The idea behind a packet of seeds is to use them while they are fresh, while they are viable. The most valued seeds are from the present year’s crop. Admittedly, a packet of seeds could be kept for years, but their potency dwindles over time so it is not really a recommended practice.
Thanks for your response, Patricia. It is true that seeds (sesame, sunflower, etc.. . .) , nuts, flour and even pasta have use-by or “best by” dates on the package. . . I think it’s usually about one year. Like rice, other seeds, both grain-seeds and other, are of course best when first harvested and cleaned. They keep in good condition at least until their “best by” date, which is certainly not “forever” like canned goods.
.
Seeds intended for sowing/ planting also usually have a “use by” date of approximately a year, too.
Congratulations, Betty! It’s a graceful, clever, and altogether lovely verse–just right!
*
floating ideas
for a weekend away
*
getting as close as two
N95s let them
*
offering a bouquet
of nitrile gloves
*
Congratulations, Betty. 🙂 I like your wordplay and appreciate the humour of your use of the magical “open sesame” as it connects with those “autumn gates”.
.
the last two leaves
on a dying tree
########
hidden treasures, her Spanish
love letters in the attic
#########
first loves
steal your tricycle
########
remember that day when
me turned into we
the state of their union
an office gossip fest
repost for clarity:
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
*
a gift of marble halava
for her sweet tooth
*
Patricia is halava accepted?
Hi, Wendy–I’m not sure what your question is. Halava, a sweet made from sesame seeds, is a legitimate subject for a renku. The question in my mind, and maybe in yours, is is it too close a link. I’m thinking it is.
thanks patricia,
yes….that is what i wanted to know…..the linkability.
thank you for your speedy answer.
have a good friday and holiday…as best as… limitations permit.
stay safe!
a glimpse of her freckles
under the shirtsleeve
great idea…freckles! mark
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
a gift of marble halava
for her sweet tooth
Patricia is halava accepted?
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
..
wild irises trained
on the gifted wallflower
offering her chewing gum
for the possible first kiss
****
expecting kissing
he offers her a bubblegum
these are so funny!!!
tomislav
Yes, thanks, Wendy! But is should be chronologically predictable after eating sesame seed!
yes….i did picture this…. the gum as a prophylactic vacuum… cleanses the seeds!!!!!
*
holding hands
on a deserted beach
*
Thank you Patricia, for mentioning my verse and for guiding this renku journey. Your explanation of Betty’s verse was very enlightening for me. Well done Betty, what a great verse to take us forward! And thanks to all you poets, I look forward to your/our discussions every week:-)
.
checking out the banyan roots
he asks if I want children
.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
.
a forgetful caveman but
a helluva kisser
love your humor, wendy. did you mean to use ‘a’ twice?
glad you like my humour, kanjini
*
LOL!!!!! did you mean two “i’s” in kanjini? LOL!!!!!!!
seriously….kanjini….i do try to avoid duplication such as this….but here….nothing “sounds” better to me…..so i use my artistic license to lead the way. thank you for asking.
very cool, wendy!
Congrats Betty and thanks Patricia, I think I may finally be learning how to participate in a renku.
############
her smiles and laughter
cure the corona blues
###########
her smiles and laughter
make my sap rise
############
and they lived happily
ever after in fairy tales
##########
turbulence causes hugs
from beautiful strangers
Lovely, Dan!
Thanks Kanjini and thanks also for reminding us of the homeless
glad, dan…that you have the swing of things.
i hold the belief….that the sky has no limits for your talent….your “content” has always moved me….it was just the “form” that needed change! learning kigo is an important and ongoing activity….as it is fliud….in my humble opinion.
.
as in corona blues……
“blues”…….”musical”/”colour” reference… or just “mood” ??????????????
Patricia…..can you tell me where do you stand on this?
typo….fluid
Thanks Wendy, your support and encouragement mean a lot.
Ahh–this is a tough one–as you point out, on the surface it’s a mood, but it strongly alludes to music and it is unabashedly a color. We are one verse away from allowing music so if this verse was a blow-out link, I’d break the rules to choose it. But we are two verses away from allowing color so I think that makes it a no-go.
thanks, patricia for your response here….that clarifies things so well for me!
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
*
a karma sutra
on the bedside table
Do you mean ‘kama’, Andrew?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kama_Sutra
.
https://www.patheos.com/blogs/whitehindu/2013/06/karma-sutra-doesnt-exist/
.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Karmasutra
whoops!
guess I do!
correction:
*
a kama sutra
on the bedside table
well done Betty
and thanks for considering my offer, Patricia.
Who knows, Persephone may reappear in a spring verse.
Congrats Betty. And, thank you Patricia for acknowledging one of my efforts.
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
above the mask
she promises with a long gaze
cool!
very cool!
clysta!
Thx, Wendy.
Congratulations Betty.
A nice selection Patricia.
Thank you for forming up Lorin’s advice.
.
my white elephant gift
X-ish rated
My brain is a sometimes thing. I just NOW tweaked on ‘animal.’ 🙄
even as we sleep
a desire stirs us
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
*
arms wrap her waist
in a heimlich maneuver
Congrats Betty
*****************
lest we never forget
love’s a four letter word
Patricia….a wonder exciting, exotic twist for our renku!!!!!!
.
and thank you for all your detailed clarifications.
.
Congrats!!!!!!! Betty, i am so glad your exotic verse is reflected in this wonderful rendezvous renku
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India
.
Betty Shropshire
Very nicely done, Betty! And Patricia! I love it, though initially it zoomed right over my head😂. It brings to mind the checkered reports of Jack Ma/Alibaba’s donations of masks and test kits to other countries. Renku is such fun.
Judt
Congratulations and well done, Betty, a smashing verse. Will be interesting to see what develops and grows from your magical words.
.
Thankyou Patricia for considering one of my verses, appreciated.
.
Onward.