The Renku Sessions: Rendezvous – Week 17
The Renku Sessions continue on The Haiku Foundation. I am Patricia Machmiller and I am honored to be your guide for an eighteen-verse renku, in which we will compose one verse per week until completion.
Hello, everyone. Those rapids certainly had a few surprises for us, didn’t they? I hope you all survived and have had time to dry out and are none the worse for wear. I am delighted that we have succeeded to get this far.
This week was a week of turmoil across the globe starting here in the United States. I think it has made us all anxious and feeling full of trepidation. There are positive signs that the protesters have focused on the important issues and discouraged the looters. And that the local governments are paying attention. We can only hope . . .
And on that note of hope, let us turn to choosing the blossom verse—that ultimate sign of hope. To that end I will tell you that my desire at this point in our renku is to have a positive, hopeful verse. Some of you wrote verses that had some sadness in them, reflective of the times. If we were writing a 36-verse renku where there would be two blossom verses, I would have considered them for this verse. But since we are coming to the end of our renku, I want to end with a sense of tranquility and good will. So, with that in mind, here are the verses that caught my eye:
biking through
a snowfall
of cherry blossoms Dan Campbell
do you hear
the koto heralding
the sakura?
*
she whispers
“the sakura is a sign
of good to come” Alison Woolpert
cherry blossoms
lifted on the wind
we breathe so carelessly Jonathan Alderfer
blossoms
adding i’jam
to the hurried graffiti
*
more than cherry blossoms
blowin’
in this wind
*
murals
blossoming all over
the world
*
almost a new city
under the sway
of the blossoming cherries
*
everyone looks familiar
in the scrim
of blossoms
*
the blur of blossoms
illuminates
the message Laurie Greer
walking lightly
over hatsu hana
mother earth is pregnant
*
protected
on one side
the fragile blossoming tree
*
reaching
for the sky
blossom cool
*
the swaying blossoms
reflect
in a thousand eyes Wendy C. Bialek
overcome
as Yamatka Jindaizakura
comes into view Michael Henry Lee
blowing in the wind
each sakura blossom
tends the answer
*
the highest flying
blossom returns still
to mother earth Clysta Seney
viewing is cancelled
but the cherry blossoms
keep blooming Debbie Scheving
everyone tells
the cherry blossoms
they’re beautiful
*
the cherry blossoms
are on both sides
of the river
*
the cherry blossoms
tell her
the gender M. R. Defibaugh
falling blossom
carried upstream
by a passing barge Andrew Shimeild
a promise hiding
in the depth
of the blossom Ellen Compton
lightness
of a blossom cupped
in both hands
*
reluctant to leave
our guests linger
in blossom shade Carol Jones
the scent of the weeping plum
has broken
the six-foot rule Patrick Sweeney
cherry blossoms
as ephemeral as
two state solutions Autumn Noelle Hall
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom Carmen Sterba
cherry blossoms
lifting
our spirits
*
could that traveller
between the blossoms be
Bashō passing by? Lorin Ford
mother lolls under the cherry tree
in a whirlwind
of blossom Pauline O’Caroline
could these blossoms
floating away
be the dreams of that old tree?
*
at evening’s end
a wistfulness as they sing
sakura sakura Judt Shrode
There are a few verses here that I liked very much which invoked or referenced music, but since we had the singing of a round a few verses back, I had to rule them out. So my final choices came to these five:
she whispers
“the sakura is a sign
of good to come” Alison Woolpert
I like the idea of whispering here. It gives a feeling of reverence that I would like to have in our renku at this point. The link is “sign” to the painting on the wall in the previous verse.
blossoms
adding i’jam
to the hurried graffiti Laurie Greer
How happy I was to learn the word “i’jam”—little markers in written Arabic to distinguish consonants. One can image the blossom petals adding a light touch to the graffiti. The link is the Arabic word to the West Bank.
the swaying blossoms
reflect
in a thousand eyes Wendy C. Bialek
The phrase “a thousand eyes” makes me think of the poem “The Night has a Thousand Eyes.” It’s a beautiful poem, but the mood is a little bit melancholy. Swaying links to the swaying balloons.
overcome
as Yamatka Jindaizakura
comes into view Michael Henry Lee
A lovely verse, Michael, but we have had two verses in a row with proper nouns. Dare we have a third? Or would that be overmuch. The link, I think, is “overcome” which is the spirit of the balloon girl in the previous verse.
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom Carmen Sterba
The phrase, “the lightness of being,” comes from the title of Milan Kundera’s novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being about living in an oppressed society. Kundera writes so well of the psychological stress and pain caused by a circumscribed life. Its darkness is in the end relieved by the decision of the couple to escape. Judt brought the book title to the renku in the last round and now Carmen adapts it just in time for the blossom verse! And what could be a greater symbol of lightness than the cherry blossom. The link is “lightness” to the balloons.
could these blossoms
floating away
be the dreams of that old tree? Judt Shrode
Lovely verse. The link is “floating” to the balloons.
I think that the clear choice for our blossom verse is:
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom Carmen Sterba
Thanks to Carmen and Judt for this beautiful creation for our penultimate verse.
Here is our renku so far:
rendezvous —
snowshoes piled high
outside the sauna Sally Biggar
an antiphonal greeting
of one wolf to the others Mary Kendall
the jury still out
on gray
vs grey Laurie Greer
a little half-
and-half in my tea M. R. Defibaugh
scarecrows and
moons are the best
listeners Dan Campbell
at the autumn gates
who can hear me now Wendy C. Bialek
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India Betty Shropshire
and as if by magic
they fall in love Marion Clarke
like charmed quarks
their relationship
thrives on give and take Clysta Seney
a boomerang
when skillfully thrown returns Kanjini Devi
the seniors’ tour group
photobombed
by an emu Judt Shrode
“this way
to the performing seals” Pauline O’Carolan
another round of
sumer is icumen in
for the solstice moon Autumn Noelle Hall
a luna moth
revisits my screen door Jonathan Alderfer
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom Carmen Sterba
We have one more verse. We are ready for the ending, verse 18.
Here are the instructions and considerations for our eighteenth verse. This verse is a spring verse. It should link to the seventeenth verse, but have no connection to the sixteenth verse. The requirements for this verse are:
- a two-line poem of seventeen syllables or less.
- In this verse the kigo is spring. Avoid the names of countries. No more mammals except humans for the rest of the poem. No more celestial objects; no more insects. No more buildings or parts of buildings or structures of any kind. No art, no religious symbols, no plants, trees, or vegetation. Vegetables and fruit are ok.
- a single syntactical structure flowing over two lines.
Please enter your verses in the comments box, below. I will be reviewing these offers until midnight on Tuesday, June 16 (California time zone). On Thursday, June 18, there will be a new posting containing my selection for the eighteenth verse and some discussion of other appreciated verses.
It will be our final meeting. I’m sure when you started this journey, you did not expect to have such a rough ride. I do hope that in the end, you will feel like the poem and your part in it was worth it.
Please stay safe and healthy. Do take all precautions. I hope that as a community of writers we can make this process enjoyable for everyone. Keep up the good writing. The challenge, should you care to accept it, is writing a verse that gives an uplifting feeling of peace and calm and joy. Lightness is the key again—a lightness of spirit. The more you write the better the final renku will be. I look forward to seeing your work.
As always, a thank you to John for his help in posting this.
I’d like to express my gratitude to all who have contributed; I especially appreciate the good will and kindness you show to each other. I do hope you like this week’s choice. Thanks to those who already have a verse and still are contributing. We are glad for your voices and your company.
Patricia
This Post Has 203 Comments
Comments are closed.
clothespins of every colour
tether sheets to the line
Chapeau to all – a most enjoyable renku!
.
.
the sailor under the sailor
stuck in the mud
.
not quite green, cold feet and hot tea
cap the night
.
stovepipes with buckles
are most challenging to consume
.
suddenly headless
the sombrero with sashaying subject
.
panamas precede partners
down the mountain path
.
.
standing up
barefooted
how odd, thought the cherry,
that people don’t blossom
.
the ivy
grew and grew
.
a hair from her brush
now part of a bird’s nest
.
unpack your adjectives
blossom dearie
forty-three ringtone
mating calls
,
each one a reflection
in a drift of soap bubbles
.
each face a reflection
in a drift of soap bubbles
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
to the snow-capped mountains
serene in the distance
.
just lying there listening
to the dawn chorus
~~
making our own noises
as we hear the dawn chorus
a hermit crab’s challenge
choosing its new shell
a warm breeze shows itself
beneath the tree
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom Carmen Sterba
.
high tide lures
beachcombers and birders
.
the scent of lemon
livens lingering daylight
.
migrating geese
were the only honks heard
.
or,
.
migrating geese
are the only honks heard
.
nibbling candyfloss together
at the spring fair
~~
our burgeoning romance sealed
by nightingale song
~~
doing nothing on this bright day
but watch the clouds drift
~~
floating wine corks
in the pool
~~
sunshine and drizzle
working together
mark…..love the lightness of this:
floating wine corks
in the pool.
shall we follow the petals
along the river?
across the river
a forest thrush is fluting
steady, as we continue
on slushy pathways
*
smiling mountains reappear
at the end of the tunnel
*
welcome balmy day
at the end of the tunnel
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.Lorin Ford
.
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
Carmen S.
.
in pairs they roll out
in the warm rain
.
left breathless the child
copying the spring gust
.
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
god cells are often lost
in ice floes
there have been sixty-three
but the sixth spring was the best one
I just realized that birds are not mammals .. so
**
morning air fills
with the chitter of nestlings
in each shell
a memory
Verse 3:
…
under the water
tiny tadpoles begin transition
…
Verse 4:
…
finding treasure amongst seaweed
at low tide
…
Verse 5:
…
but my heart is riding
on the wings of a skylark
…
Verse 6:
…
just born baby birds
open their eyes to joy
.
the lure of a calm sea
at sunrise
.
I’m not putting this on you, Patricia! But I am in dire need of a refresher course in syntactic units. I feel confident that I can write in a grammatically correct manner, but I don’t know the names of the structures anymore. I suppose they have become internalized. (Yes, I begin sentences with conjunctions, but an old gal has got to kick up her heels sometimes.)
I think the main breakdown is sentences/clauses/phrases. But within these it gets all muddy.
If anyone knows of a good guide on this (besides repeating grade school) I’d really appreciate being referred to it.
The absolutely best book on this subject is
.
The Artful Sentence: Syntax as Style by Virginia Tufte
.
This book is a joy to read.
Thank you so much, Patricia! I will find it.
judt….the least expesive i found was on ebay….like new…..10.00 us dollars from a michagan seller.
least expensive
and free shipping
Thanks!
in the warm rain
we talk of mountains into sand
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
— Carmen Sterba
–
a new leaf
after the blossom falls
–
we arrived on the flood
of a spring tide
–
six degrees of separation
become five
–
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom Carmen Sterba
.
just so
an open group grows
.
Or
.
just so in spring
an open group grows
.
.
setting sail at dawn
we glide away on a calm sea
.
kites skating figure
eights across the sky
########
counting the kite
collection on our roof
muscles in advertising
the lawn mower
mizuna is not mibuna
but I am not sure
I carry in a purse
a clover
tendril applaud
for the doctors
don’t stop me now
grooming moustache
the mud on tuxedo
hidden by his stand
caraway vs. cumin
for gourmet mind
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
goldfish bubble up
from hibernation
*
the shimmer of fantails as goldfish
shake off their torpor
*
or:
the shimmy of goldfish
losing their torpor
*
or:
*
the pond springs back to life
in a shimmer of fantails
*
gently on my wrists
the hippie patchouli
steering a homemade sailboat
reading the calligraphy of clouds
a crunch of green
apple in my throat
missing Monet’s meadows
the Smithsonian is closed
this morning’s mist as
karumi as karumi can be
if wishes were fishes
then we’d all take a ride
*********************
somewhere among the leaves
lies an artichoke’s heart
Michael, I especially liked “… an artichoke’s heart”
Thank you Debbie !
Henry,
*
if wishes were fishes
then we’d all take a ride
*
This gave me a smile!
our well-earned rest
as wisteria unfolds
*
yoghurt on sweet potato
dribbles from her chin
*
holding hands together
all tipsy on white sake
*
after the latest thaw
relationships much improved
*
warmed brandy tastes
delicious in this lingering cold
*
at the end of the tunnel
there are mountains still to climb
Barbara, this was a good read. Couldn’t pick a favorite.
Thank you, Debbie. I see wisteria would not be acceptable here:(
Many, many thanks to Patricia, not only for including my [two state solutions] verse in the comments, but for guiding us all safely through what has turned out to be a Class V whitewater excursion! So glad I wore a life vest… 😉 Has anyone else noticed how many letters “Patricia” has in common with “patience…?”☺️
*
A enthusiastic shout out to M. R. Defibaugh for both mentioned verses, the first of which has SOOOOO much to say to all of us in the midst of the ongoing protests, and the second of which feels eerily prescient now, after POTUS sickeningly reversed the executive order granting transgender health protections.
*
the cherry blossoms
are on both sides
of the river
*
the cherry blossoms
tell her
the gender
*
M. R. Defibaugh
*
Finally, congratulations to Carmen on a sweet, ethereal verse that hints at so much beneath its deceptively simple surface.
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
how to get a leg up
in this tadpole world…?
*
~Autumn
Autumn, an enthusiastic thank you for that awesome shout out! I can’t say I’m having as much luck this week, but maybe something will come into focus at the last minute, as it often has this renku. The beauty of cherry blossoms and each other should be visible from “both sides of the river”— POTUS and others certainly struggle with that concept! At least, workplace discrimination for the LGBT community was ruled unconstitutional today, though I’m shaking my head at how it wasn’t a 9-0 ruling.
Autumn,
*
I feel like I’ve been floating with Sakura (cherry blossoms) in a Japanese park.
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom Carmen Sterba
*
skip-toeing forward
at the end of the cold
*
sprouting daffodils
bring hope for our future
*
fluffy soda scones
on this perfect Spring day
*
uplifted by the welcome
generosity of souls
students have learnt
how to sculpt tomatoes
.
bamboo shoots simmer
in a pot of warm water
breathing in
that first warm day
**
green apples
blush pink overnight
**
warm raindrops
join the incoming tide
**
broken shells bright
against the wet sand
**
new sandals
under a cap and gown
**
leaving home
without a jacket
your third one down…..”warm raindrops” is so compellingly awesome, debbie!
Thank you Wendy. We have all kinds of rain here in the Puget Sound!
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom Carmen Sterba
.
seated in serenity
the snow-capped mountains
or
.
seated in serenity
the snow-capped mountain
.
(serene (uraraka, all spring))
.
.
snow-capped mountains
seated in serenity
It is a wonderful verse for the blossom verse, Carmen! Thank you for it.
…
Verse 1:
…
our baskets are laden
with apples and oranges
…
Verse 2:
…
we have made a pilgrimage
to the high mountains
Pauline,
*
In Japan, I often hear these words: yama sakura (mountain cherry).
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom – Carmen Sterba
.
namaste namaste
all the lingering day
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
Carmen S.
.
her prom dress matches
her cherry lips
.
her prom dress matches
her pale pink lips
.
floating in his arms
her first waltz
.
birdsongs drowning out
their drive through confessions
dancing to the scents
of strawberry-rhubarb pavlova
*
Or:
*
the dancing scents
of strawberry-rhubarb pavlova
*
the box marked “free”
after clearing out garage
a hina doll keyring
placed in everyone’s pocket
Inspired by Laurie’s strawberry verses!
.
free from slugs, strawberries
growing wild in the shade-house
.
Thanks back to Kanjini Devi, Lorin Ford, Marion Clarke, Michael Henry Leee, Kristen Lindquist, Mary Kendall, and Debbie Schevings.
*
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
a wedding dress
from mother to daughter
some hikes include applauding
wild turkeys while they mate
gray hairs turn
plum blossom white overnight
pink confetti
on the young grass
*
behind the eyelids
words echoes
*
in the zephyr rustle
a joyful goodbye
amphitheater bookings
still wide open
*
performance related but not a performance
——-
aroma of spring —
all through his pocket
—-
starry night
humming in her balcony
—–
aside all duvet
spring morn enters her kitchen
**
her cheeks plump
reflect imprint of spring love
——
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom Carmen Sterba
.
a flock of hang gliders
brightens the spring sky
.
beachcombers wave
at swooping hang gliders
.
beachcombers look up
as hang gliders shout helloooo down there
.
her wheelchair hang glider gets
a love tap from the May wind
.
.
swallows doing loop-de-loops
chirruping all the while
.
the sound of water
under the frozen stream
On second thought, I think it’s better to switch the lines
.
under the frozen stream
the sound of water
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
we carefully wrap rice balls
in fresh sheets of nori
a crystal paperweight
for the Mother’s Day cards
*
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
at low tide the beads
in her Afro hair style
.
outside the Tate
a man peddles bubbles
.
she says daffodils remind her
of old gramophones
.
as day dawns
a fall of spring rain
unfolding washi parasols
as the warm rain falls
Congratulations Carmen, on what feels to me like a perfect verse in this place. Lightness with meaning. Thank you, Patricia, for your patience and instruction during these 17 weeks. Who would have guessed that so much would happen collectively in those future weeks? Still so much uncertainty, but grateful that poetry and other arts carry on…
.
between passing clouds
a moment’s warmth touches my face
.
longer days put a different spin
on existential questions
*
warmer days add weight
to what holds us together
*
the fresh sound of sprinklers
anchors the twilight
*
I would like to shorten an earlier link that I submitted.
•
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
•
Carmen Sterba
*
“my swing’s wobbly”
I laugh and pump harder
Princess Sao has locked herself in the bathroom
Come out! Come out!
.
out at sea a shining wind
wrinkles and slides
.
-T.S. Eliot + a little bit by Lorin 🙂
.
out at sea the dawn wind
wrinkles and slides
.
(T.S. Eliot)
.
fine abalone shells
fill the beachcombers’ sacks
.
willow shadows tickling
Ho Tai’s belly
.
Sorry, I know this isn’t eligible for several reasons, but I couldn’t resist.
Ha ha Ha Judt.
Quite an infectious laugh that one. 🙂
a frog’s new soliloquy
on the defunct pedestal
the unstoppable flare
above subway vents
freeing a frog
from priority sticker
freeing a frog
from an amazon label
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
last year’s silk sundress
still fitting perfectly
*
her rain dances
make umbrellas blossom
love the umbrella one, dan….it’s a blooming smile!
*
my stimulus check deposits
in an unknown riverbank
*
my irs check lands
in a riverbank
Thanks Wendy and hope you enjoy that stimulus check, have a nice weekend!
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
the smaller the strawberry
the sweeter it tastes
*
each tiny wild strawberry
weighted for flavor
*
just to say, I am amazed at the proposed links so far because I find it so difficult to compose within these final constraints .. however ..
**
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
**
because it’s warm enough
cloud hands in the park
**
delicate flotsam
amid the puddle’s leaf boats
**
t-shirt weather when
the air fills with laughter
oops! no vegetation … as I said, the challenge of constraints ..
**
delicate flotsam among
the puddle’s paper boats
A beautiful verse, Carmen and great link to Lorin’s. I’ve really been enjoying this Renku as it has developed. The conversations each week are as enjoyable as the renku in many ways. Patricia, thank you for your open-minded approach and for encouraging discussion as you have done. Congratulations to all the poets who have been part of this. I look forward to this week’s offerings.
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
days long enough to weigh the pros
with the pros
*
warming my hands with a dip
in the strawberries
*
LOVE your link, Carmen—the perfect note of beauty here.
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
letting the breeze
finish my book
*
pausing to watch an azure
among the wild strawberries
*
the lifting fog reveals
snow on the distant peaks
Sorry for my spacing issues!
love this one…..kristen
letting the breeze
finish my book……………………..kriristen lindquist
sorry for the extraneous letters that were placed in your name….i’m struggling with a conflict between an oversensitive keypad and my hand brushing by it.
Just a little gushy one here
When in Rome . . .
.
a Champagne toast
to the hostess with the mostest
Congrats Carmen and to all who participated in another great renku, Thank you much Patricia
******************************************************************************
it’s a strawberry moon
and the night is still young
**********************
whispering pines that
will not be silenced
*****************
disinfecting what shells
we could find at the beach
**********************
sewing a few pot seeds
wherever we might go
a magician turning
cabbage into baby
.
if the world’s toes could dabble
in a pond in spring sunshine
.
while planting beans
he asks me about giants
Clever–good one, Marion!
Thank you, Laurie – I’m only seeing your comment now! 🙂
.
marion
so many colours
in that stream of bubbles!
nice one, Marion! 🙂
Thank you, Lorin. I am revisiting some of the sessions to see if I missed any comments and see that I have! And I think it’s useful to see which verses appealed to participants. 🙂
.
marion
a handful of sea glass
to adorn my porch window
I love how this verse links to Lorin’s. Well done, Carmen.
.
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
.
my baby left breathless
by a spinning pinwheel
lovely verses, marion,
this breathless one is my fav.
Thank you, Wendy – I think it is my favourite too. I can still remember how delighted my son was (he’s now 21!) when he saw his first pinwheel. We call these toys ‘windmills’ in Ireland and the UK, but I thought the rest of the world would get confused by that, so I used the US term – and I love the sound of spinning and pinwheel together!
.
marion
suspended in sky
hummingbirds sip the sunrise
^where i live….hummingbirds arrive in spring…..though the kigo is a summer kigo.
Beautiful verse, Wendy. What a gorgeous image -‘sip the sunrise’!
thank you for seeing and saying this, kanjini….
High five, Carmen! Well done.
.
.
Just for fun:
.
the slowness
of a farewell waltz last May
.
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
–
Carmen Sterba
–
the young falcon
stretches its wings and looks up
–
birdsong fills the dawn forest,
nevertheless . . . quiet
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
.
a waft of drying seaweed
on opening the door
.
the freshly folded towels
smell of peach blossom
.
the warm breeze
lifts her dress
.
her dress caught
in a warm breeze
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom Carmen Sterba
evening birdsong
my bedtime prayer
Congratulations, Carmen. 🙂 A nicely crafted, seemingly simple, verse which enacts the lightness it portrays whilst alluding to the famous novel. (See also my comments on it on last week’s thread) Well done!
gray flashes circling the tree, it’s
squirrel mating season
the weight of the first
tiny tomato in her hand
*
snap beans starting
their nimble climb
*
longer days easing
the weight of the years
*
Love the imagery and feel of your first two verses, Laurie!
spring rain in the valley
as seen from the hill
********************
a hazy moon serves in
the role of a compass
*******************
sailing away on
the balmy breeze
********************
another parade to
air our grievances
a murder of crows
scolding the breeze
#######
catapults
covered in ivy
where the statue was
a pinwheel spins colours
where the statue was
a pinwheel spins its colours
the exciting aroma
of that first baseball glove
#########
washing away hiking trail
dust under the waterfall
*
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
the smooth slip
of cilantro
*
Congrats, Carmen!
.
the raga of happiness
permeating spring breeze
.
soothing tones come alive
in the spring garden beds
.
peaceful notes in the spring
symphony fill us with hope
.
Your verses are very hopeful, Kanjini Devi.
Thanks, Carmen. Yours is a truly delightful verse to link to 🙏🏾
•
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
•
Carmen Sterba
•
strawberry shortcake
anyone?
•
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
•
as a veil of haze moves in
all seems to still
•
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
•
Carmen Sterba
•
“my swing’s wobbling”
I laugh as I pump harder
*
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
the warm nothingness
of the scent of wild scallions
*
A question for our sabaki.
Can the final verse, and only the final verse, relate back to the hokku?
if you have the renku reckoner….an immediate answer is on page 87.
certainly….i will want to hear everything that patricia has to say about this, too.
Yes I do have one, and yes I have read this particular part, hence the question as I would like to enquire further, so I’ll ask further now and hopefully gain a fuller response, from the sabaki.
.
I have read there are variants where the ageku could take a different season, albeit a subtle one and even none at all. That said, and taking into consideration we’ve been encouraged to move outside the so called rules, and experiment, keeping in mind this is a verse of ‘happiness’ etc, would you be prepared to give us the freedom to do so.
hi, Carol–I think I need to clarify my previous answer. I am open to relating back to the hokku; I am very partial, however, to spring being the last verse.
Thankyou, once again, Patricia for this clarification, appreciated.
Some say it can–I am open to it.
Thanks for your reply.
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
•
Carmen Sterba
*
planting seeds
from the first chapter fruit
*
this verse is dedicated to our wonderful, sabaki, patricia.
i have learned so much from her amazing generosity of wisdom, clarity and vision. i hope that she will offer next to guide another renku…a 36 verse (with two blossom verses)!
Wendy–I am most pleased and grateful for your verse–I hold it in my heart . . .
•
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
•
Carmen Sterba
•
in the bone china bowl
honey-butter peas and carrots
•
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
•
Carmen Sterba
•
the lucky velella
catching the true wind
•
over, under, on and on
until the maypole’s wrapped
•
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
•
Carmen Sterba
•
by-the-wind sailors
some heading east, others west
sweet spring coloring
a frame with strokes of light
Congratulations Carmen for your beautiful verse and thanks Patricia for guiding us to the end.
Thanks, Dan. You and others are so right to say that Patricia has guided all of us well!
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
nothing unbearable
with sweet peas coming up
*
everything more bearable
with sweet peas coming up
*
¡Ayyyyy! I was tricked, or rather just asleep at the wheel.
my previous link should read . . .
*
as he runs away he yells
“poisson d’avril”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEKHJs6L9hE&feature=youtu.be
Kudos, Carmen, for reminding us of this particular lightness of freedom!
*
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
he yells as he runs away
“poison d’avril”
Yes, Alison, in 1989 The Czechs became free!
Congratulations Carmen.
A lovely verse.
Nice selection and idea Patricia to give us all a lift.
Thanks, Robert. I am sitting here with a big smile.
I’m sure many of us will smile at this verse for a long time Carmen, well done!
Just needs someone to create an ageku that is as light. Bravo!
congrats!!!!!! carmen! the eloquent simplicity of this poem….says it all…..a great link, a powerful but quiet statement….and wonderful addition to our rendevous renku.
*
patricia, you did it again, you picked the best of the best, the sweetest of the sweet cherries.
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
Thank you, Wendy, I learned in Japan to write or speak in a few words.
lovely lovely verse, Carmen ..
Thanks, Marianne, I enjoyed writing this verse!
A beautiful verse, Carmen, congratulations, it has the desired effect for this part of the kyu, ephemeral.
Carol, I like how you wrote: “it is the desired effect for this part of the kyu, ephemeral.”
Thankyou, Carmen.
Congratulations, Carmen! I love how you slipped the title of the book into this, and also caught the beauty and grace of the blossoms.
Again, thanks to Patricia for illuminating commentary and great choices–and for noticing a few of mine. This has been a fantastic experience.
*
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
*
Carmen Sterba
*
a warm breeze
turns the page
*
turning the page with a warm breeze
in my hand
*
I do like the first verse, Laurie, I can just see someone viewing the page the breeze has turned to, almost saying ‘Look, look at this’ as so many will do when this Renku is archived. Also it gives the option of allowing the reader to have their own thoughts on what that page maybe as there are so many artistic pages that can be turned.
.
This too has a delightful lightness.
I love the first one! Sweet and simple. I can feel it. And such a soft ending…not closing the book, but turning a page.
Thank you, Judt. We are sometimes hard on each other’s verses. I like your words: “such a soft ending…not closing the book, but turning a page.”
Laurie Greer, I appreciate that you said I “caught the beauty and grace of the blossoms.”
Laurie, I love “a warm breeze/turns the page.” Reminds me of reading with a pause to daydream or perhaps even nap, welcome warmth, and turning a page points to the future.
a warm breeze
turns the page
*****
Laurie,
The moment I read your verse on Thursday, I instantly felt it was the perfect one to follow Carmen’s superb cherry blossom verse. It is so memorable I haven’t forgotten it; in fact it has come to mind often in the past few days. It feels like the perfect ending to our renku, and subtly links back to the heat of the sauna in the hokku, only cooled a bit now that it is spring.
Sally
Congratulations Carmen. Such an uplifting verse to guide us to the end. And Patricia I appreciate your selections and comments—it helps to see which of many fine offerings resonate.
Clysta Seney, what a beautiful name! I appreciate your kind words.
Congrats, Carmen, on what is my favorite link in this renku—Lorin’s balloon girl, the lightness of your cherry blossoms! I knew it’d be the next verse as soon as I read it. Judt’s inspiration is an excellent example of what I feel this form is all about, and that link wouldn’t exist without Patricia’s bold vision/decision last week, either. Collaboration at its finest. I am looking forward to seeing how this rendezvous turns out!
Thanks, M. R. Defibaugh. I’ve done a lot of reku gatherings in Japan and Washington outside or inside as well. My father’s side is from the Czech Republic, where I have been, so I have read many Czech books in translation. I’ve always thought the blossom verse is hard to be original, but this one was light and easy.
When we can find a link to the previous verse and the current circumstances, I think that’s the best we can do in terms of originality. The balloon and blossom were a needed counter for the heaviness many have been feeling. I’ve never experienced renku in-person, so doing so in Japan sounds particularly fascinating. I’ve recently had a passing thought to organize a Zoom (etc.) renku session that could be recorded. IF I could get a few knowledgeable participants to keep everyone, including myself, pointed in the right direction, that might be an idea.
Thanks, M.R., I, too, think it’s an excellent link and I’m pleased that both Patricia and you have acknowledged Judt’s role in the making of Carmen’s verse.
That contribution is what makes it an even better.