The Renku Sessions: Rendezvous – Week 16
The Renku Sessions continue on The Haiku Foundation. I am Patricia Machmiller and I am honored to be your guide for an eighteen-verse renku, in which we will compose one verse per week until completion.
Hello, Everyone,
What a week of sadness, turmoil, and danger. Many of you posted expressions recognizing the dire nature of the time. Here’s one:
marched for evers & for king
but how easily this morphs
into a terrifying thing Wendy C. Bialek
And Michael Henry Lee brings in the plea of Rodney King:
the question bears
repeating; can’t we all
just get along
We can only hope that out of this deeply felt expression anger and anguish, that real change will occur.
This was also the week in the midst of all the mayhem that Christo died. He was the artist who with his wife Jeanne-Claude created monumental works of art in public places and natural spaces. Their work is a tribute to the human spirit and the aspiration that in the long run it will triumph over bureaucracy and closed-heartedness. Here is a remembrance from Lorin Ford:
imagine
Christo’s Wrapped Coast
done in parachute silk
And in the context of this week’s events, we are writing a renku. I have a very strong desire that our poem reflect this moment. This desire definitely has influenced my choices.
Here are the verses I selected as potential choices:
continues
writing a story
untitled Radhamani Sarma
analyzing
warhol’s
roschach
*
while tracing
a face mask pattern
on graph paper
*
the silent
spreader
i can see
*
is
tinkerbell
in the lampshade? Wendy C. Bialek
The Unbearable
Lightness
of Being Judt Shrode
going for
the grand
slam
*
too soon to open
but too hard
to stay closed
*
nothing like
the sheer mesh
of silk stockings
*
grounds crew out
in neon green
vests
*
winging it
at the job
interview
*
sent flying
by a bump
in the bike path
*
catching
each other
on the fly
*
more than a few
holes
in his stories
*
connecting
through
#s
*
how he’s taken to
wearing stripes
with plaid
*
longing for
somewhere
off the grid
*
SpaceX launches
a craze
for tic-tac-toe
*
flying first class
in his very own
paper airplanes
*
catching just
the flutter
of a heart murmur Laurie Greer
beneath
the pallet truck wheels
night day night day …
*
brushing dust
from his
Cavalier suit
*
netting
his first
stickleback
*
a rumble
from the depths
of Lector’s mind
*
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
*
after the tide
worm holes pop
in the sun
*
his bed of nails
sandwich
is a head turner
*
from time to time
they speak
of found treasure
*
on major tom’s birthday
we toast the nurses
With a fly by Robert Kingston
space cadets
with wide grins
winging it
*
just under
the wire his
completed thesis
*
the Cornwall coast
just right
for hang gliding
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
still flying Lorin Ford
the accelerated leveling
of stressed vowels
through her paisley mask
*
fifteen hundred years
of linguistic development
reduced to OMG Patrick Sweeney
tears
for gone with the wind
at the drive-in Maxianne Berger
presto!
origami paper
morphs
*
alas,
you don’t speak
Spanish Alison Woolpert
far from settled
our neighbour’s boundary
still under dispute
*
on arrival
she’s pinned down
in self isolation
*
welcome visitor
to the committal
service Carol Jones
just a spoon
of Midori helps
the medicine go down Michael Henry Lee
meetings
by computer
are still painful
*
growing a hedge
to block out
the neigbours Pauline O’Carolan
dusting off
my fingerprints
just in case Barbara A. Taylor
plexiglass smudges
on your side
or mine? Liz Ann Winkler
our first guest
is a celebrated
sushi chef Ellen Compton
hearts
beat faster
at the border
*
prayer
flags chanting
in the wind
*
ode to joy
needs no
translation Dan Campbell
someday
we hope to hear
his knock Debbie Scheving
a last touch
of iridescent blush
and go Margherita Ptericcione
unfurling a bolt
of hand-painted silk
for a new kimono Sally Biggar
And here are the final eight:
analyzing
warhol’s
roschach Wendy C. Bialek
This is a reference to a series of prints by Andy Warhol all of which have the symmetry of a moth and some of which resemble elaborate moth-like creatures. Nice link and image.
The Unbearable
Lightness
of Being Judt Shrode
I loved this book and the title all by itself is a poem. And it is so reflective of a moth. Link by scent.
too soon to open
but too hard
to stay closed Laurie Greer
Laurie has the linking gene—no doubt about it. I like this verse because it speaks to our time of sequestion. The link is to the screen door.
connecting
through
#s Laurie Greer
I loved the quickness of this and the use of the hash tag symbol to visually connect with the screen. So clever.
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
Oh, my. How appropriate to bring in the Aztec god of discord and war. I am hypnotized :) The link is the mosaics to the screen on the door.
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
still flying Lorin Ford
What a moving verse, Lorin. My heart leaped to see this image. It is so inspiring to see this little girl being lifted by balloons over the huge concrete barrier in the West Bank. And so appropriate to the current week and a reminder that injustice and oppression is an on-going menace across the world. The link is “flying” to “moth,” of course. I love this verse and I want it in the renku, but it is a spring verse. So, what to do?
tears
for gone with the wind
at the drive-in Maxianne Berger
Another excellent verse with a very clever link of the unstated drive-in screen to the screen door screen.
alas,
you don’t speak
Spanish Alison Woolpert
A different link connecting to the origin of the moth’s name, luna.
Now it is time to choose. The way I see it, in order to make the best poem we can, I am going to have to break at least one “rule” and maybe the protocol of on-line renku. This being my first, I’m hoping I’ll be forgiven if you feel I have overstepped my prerogatives.
So, this is what I propose to do. From these verses I am going to choose both verse 15 and 16. Since verse 16 is a two-line spring verse, I am going to choose Lorin’s verse and drop the last line. I hope she will forgive me this modification. That means I have to chose a verse for 15 that links backward to the moth verse and forward to the balloon verse. And the verse that does that is Robert’s excellent “mosaic mask” verse with “mosaic” linking to “screen” and the Aztec god of war linking to the West Bank. I hope all of you are as excited about these additions to our poem as I am.
And here is our poem so far:
rendezvous —
snowshoes piled high
outside the sauna Sally Biggar
an antiphonal greeting
of one wolf to the others Mary Kendall
the jury still out
on gray
vs grey Laurie Greer
a little half-
and-half in my tea M. R. Defibaugh
scarecrows and
moons are the best
listeners Dan Campbell
at the autumn gates
who can hear me now Wendy C. Bialek
an opened sesame
seed packet
from India Betty Shropshire
and as if by magic
they fall in love Marion Clarke
like charmed quarks
their relationship
thrives on give and take Clysta Seney
a boomerang
when skillfully thrown returns Kanjini Devi
the seniors’ tour group
photobombed
by an emu Judt Shrode
“this way
to the performing seals” Pauline O’Carolan
another round of
sumer is icumen in
for the solstice moon Autumn Noelle Hall
a luna moth
revisits my screen door Jonathan Alderfer
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
So what “rules” did I break besides altering Lorin’s verse? I let in a “wall” with a “screen door” two verses away. That’s not ideal, but it’s a quibble compared to the strength of Lorin’s verse. And I have chosen adjacent verses both of which have proper names. In this case, the broken rule resulted, in my view, in a stronger overall poem. We have been very restrained in the use of proper nouns throughout the poem, and now as we near the climax of the poem, we have used them in two adjacent verse to great and powerful effect. Another rule would be to avoid such cataclysmic subjects, such as war, this close to the end of the poem. But the wonderful thing about these two verses together is that they speak to the present moment very powerfully, but the “balloon girl” saves the poem by lifting us up and over the divisiveness and destruction and prepares us for the next verse of cherry blossoms. Their appearance at this juncture is going to be very rewarding.
We have two more verses to the end of the renku—we can see the end is close. We have come through the rapids and we are at the waterfall; we are ready to write beautiful and visionary ending verses (17 and 18).
So, with the above in mind, here are the instructions and considerations for our seventeenth verse. This verse is a cherry blossom verse. It should link to the sixteenth verse, but have no connection to the fifteeth verse. The requirements for this verse are:
- a three-line poem of seventeen syllables or less.
- In this verse the kigo is cherry blossoms or variations on cherry blossoms. Avoid the names of countries. Avoid references birds, old people, or photography for one verse. No more mammals except humans for the rest of the poem. No more celestial objects; no more insects. No more buildings or parts of buildings.
- a single syntactical structure flowing over three lines.
Please enter your verses in the comments box, below. I will be reviewing these offers until midnight on Tuesday, June 9 (California time zone). On Thursday, June 11, there will be a new posting containing my selection for the seventeenth verse, some discussion of other appreciated verses, and instructions for composing the eighteenth verse.
Again, I hope you stay safe and healthy. Do take all precautions. I hope that as a community of writers we can make this process enjoyable for everyone. Keep up the good writing. The challenge, should you care to accept it, is writing a verse that gives a feeling of peace and calm yet full of joy. Lightness is the key here—lightness in tone and style. The more you write the better the final renku will be. I look forward to seeing your work.
As always, a thank you to John for his help in posting this.
I’d like to express my gratitude to all who have contributed; I especially appreciate the good will and kindness you show to each other and me. I do hope you like the choices this week. Thanks to those who already have a verse and still are contributing. We are glad for your voices and your company.
Patricia
This Post Has 325 Comments
Comments are closed.
[ornamental cherry trees do not bear fruit]
.
a flurry
of ornamental blossoms
sweeps downstream
.
the scent
of ornamental blossoms
in passing
.
a jizo placed
‘neath ornamental blossoms
in silence
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
.
— Robert Kingston
.
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
— Lorin Ford
.
sakura parties
under a tree feted
as the finest
.
— Marietta McGregor
silhouette
of a weeping cherry
whose knee leaned on it
like snow
blossom can hide
nasty things too
I know this isn’t an entry, but just for fun –
mad march hare
disappears
as the blossom fall
Another question please, Patricia. When Maxianne mentioned ‘synecdoche,’ I began to wonder…why I asked about using ‘petals’ to stand for blossoms, but not ‘pink’ (the pink of Yoshino Mountain climbs higher, higher)–which I think is metonymy–which seemed fine to me.
This has made me wonder about the use of figurative language in renku. I looked back through ‘Rendezvous,’ and (please correct me if mistaken) I believe Wendy’s ‘autumn gates’ is a metaphor and Clysta’s ‘like charmed quarks’ is a simile, and Dan’s ‘scarecrows and moons’ is also a metaphor.
So now I have thoroughly confused myself and am wondering in what way the synecdoche petals/blossoms is different from these other figures of speech.
I apologize for this long post. Maybe you could send me to reference material? I don’t expect you to reply to all this! Thanks for your patience.
.
Judt
Also Laurie’s idiom ‘the jury still out.’
Hi, Judt–good questions. I hope at this late hour (it’s after midnight here) I can offer some coherent thoughts–which I will be the first to admit are not the last word on this subject. And I offer them knowing there are different points of view on the matter.
1) In thinking about how a word or phrase works in a verse, I think about the audience. How many people will read “blossom” as “cherry blossom”? In the haiku and renku world I think this is a convention that is widely accepted and so when it is encountered in a verse the meaning is clear to most readers. I’m not convinced that “pink” or “petal” have the same acceptance among a wide range of readers. So this is my reason for not endorsing the use of these words as substitutes for cherry blossom.
2) I don’t believe there is a “rule” against the use of metaphor and simile, per se, in haiku or renku. Again it comes to what is effective in a verse. Often times the kigo operates in the way a metaphor works. Which is why the one caution I have about using a simile (e.g. “like charmed quarks”) in haiku or renku is don’t make the comparison to the kigo.
3) My guiding principle is how does the word or phrase work in the verse; that is, how effective is it in creating the emotional effect in the reader that reflects the experience of the writer as opposed to how well does the verse conform to the “rules.” In constructing the renku the reader is foremost in my mind.
4) Although I have to say, by respecting the rules of renku and using them as a guide, one learns through practice why they were established in the first place. So there is this tension between following the “rules” and creating a poem. If you follow the rules too strictly, the result is lifeless. If you ignore the rules completely your have a hodge-podge of verses with no coherence–a Tower of Babel.
Thanks for participating, Judt, and for your questions,
Great question Judt.
.
Thank you Patricia for helping me understand too.
Thank you so much for your reply, Patricia! I do understand that there’s nuance upon nuance associated with this stuff, and it’s not cut and dried. I think I’m seeing that it’s not such a matter of rules…it is poetry, after all…but of staying true to the conventions (of another culture). What an undertaking for sabaki!
I have even more questions now…not to argue, of course, but to explore further. My copy of Renku Reckoner has arrived!
Thank you so much for your willingness to respond to questions!
.
Judt
Thank you for your question, Judt. And thank you, Patricia for clarifying. My copy of Renku Reckoner arrived yesterday !
This is a wonderful learning tool, Kanjini, and presented not only with great knowledge of the subject, but with a fantastic humour,
.
The forms of Renku are informative, and no doubt you will be asking yourself many questions as you read along, And this is the place to ask them.
.
The business end and learning is further on, Renku theory and practice.
I found beginnings and endings more than helpful.
This is a book (along with others) that can be dipped into, many times, when you aren’t quite sure about what is required.
.
All I can say is, you’ll be in good company within the pages 🙂
patricia, how wonderfully said…..so very crystal clear!
Interesting questions, Judt and especially, to me, the blossoms/ petals distinction.
True, Patricia, reading ‘blossoms’ to mean ‘cherry blossoms’ in a dedicated renku blossom verse is a convention. Thanks for pointing that out. The obvious isn’t always clear! (Not to me, anyway) 🙂
.
If people aren’t likely to read ‘blossoms’ in a renku to imply ‘cherry blossoms’ then ‘petals’ are a step further away from clear identification (since most flowers have petals, not only the blossoms) But if readers understand the context, there’s not a problem.
.
It’s also interesting that what has been called the first haiku in English, Ezra Pound’s ‘In a Station of the Metro’, manages to convey ‘blossoms’ with the word ‘petals’. (though not necessarily cherry blossoms… for no good reason I’ve tended to see plum blossoms, white.)
.
“petals on a wet, black bough”
.
It’s that ‘wet, black bough’ that provides the context for the petal to be identified as blossom petals that any moment may be washed away by rain. (There’s sufficient for the reader to know we’re not among the carnations or tulip fields)
.
As for ‘pink’ (the colour) climbing the mountain: it works very nicely for me here but that’s because I know the season is spring and the verse spot is the ‘blossom’ verse. In other words, what we read to be causing the view of distant ‘pink climbing . . . ‘ will rely on what context is given. Somewhere beyond the renku and our knowledge of a ‘blossom’ verse, that pink might well be dawn, a sunrise or sunset. Or a mystery.
.
.
Would it be a good idea if those who’ve used “blossom” this week in their submissions were to add “cherry” to their blossom or petals?
I certainly recommend that for “petals.”
petals crushed
at the base of the barrier
between us
Apparently synecdoche of petals for blossoms not an option …
***
pop!
and pink blossoms
every which way
***
Also, thank you, Robert for link to video about cherry trees. Lovely and informative. Maxianne
Pleased you enjoyed it Maxianne.
the sterile fragrance
of virtual reality
cherry blossoms
##########
humid and hot
in virtual cherry
blossom shade
pink and white
petals lost
to the sky
~~
letting the kids help
plant the new
cherry blossom tree
~~
the weeping blossom
stretching over the
neighbour’s fence
~~
surprised by her
cherry blossom
tattoo
.
a riot of blossoms
prostrates itself to
the season of the witch
.
blowing in the wind
each blossom
lends its weight
.
the highest flying
blossom returns still
to mother earth
.
if you’re travelling
in the north country fair
past mountains in bloom
*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je4Eg77YSSA
painted black
the white blossoms
inspiring my verse
*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4irXQhgMqg
divorced lady
the blossom on her dress
long gone
“RIP” written in cement
does it make a truce
white sakura petals
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
*
eager to see
what emerges
from the cherry blossom cocoon
*
cherry blossom erasures
of the more
egregious errors
*
Without any success
I say good bye
surching my luck
elsewhere
ingrid….what does success look like to you?
Ingrid, there’s more to life than success, just being alive is a good start.
cherry blossoms
drifting down on
ancient battlefields
cherry blossoms
scattered along
the battlefield
the hearse
greeted by
sakura shower
.
day by spring day
the pink of Yoshino Mountain
climbs higher, higher
.
Nice Judt
Thank you, Robert. I lived near Yoshinoyama. It’s a wonderful phenomenon, and to me, very representative of Japanese culture.
Sounds like you’re Japanese experience was a wholesome one Judt. I’ve heard of many great experiences, hence why she features so high on my “like to do list”.
Will certainly have Yoshinoyama on my to experience list. Thank you.
.
could these blossoms
floating away
be the dreams of that old tree?
.
.
at evening’s end
a wistfulness as they sing
sakura sakura
.
blossom scents
out wind dried
haiga
.
inspired by
Dru Philippou. Gauze in the wind – Journeys 2017.
amendment to typo error-
.
blossom scents
our wind dried
haiga
Vito Corleone too
spent his last days
amongst the blossoms
I can’t help but reflect on the deep irony of all the conflict stemming from a verse about the West Bank….
*
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
*
Lorin Ford
*
cherry blossoms
as ephemeral as
two state solutions
*
~Autumn
Or in reverse order:
*
two state solutions
as ephemeral as
cherry blossoms
*
~Autumn
wonderful! autumn
i like the first one best….but you have covered your base well…just in case.
great link….and great statement!
same her, Autumn 🙏🏾
These verses relate to the process of traditional Japanese printmaking.
.
beside the river
a ukiyo-e artist sits
drawing blossoms
.
smooth blocks
of mountain cherrywood
await the carver’s knife
.
under the printer’s baren
blossoms bloom again
on sheets of washi
These are wonderful Jonathan!
.
The link I placed below on Judt’s nice piece, has a bit within that talks of the process of making glaze from cherry ash. Also within is a brief tour of a collection of dated blossom wall hangings and other memorabilia.
jonathan,
thank you for sharing these creative verses that depict the art of wood block printing.
.
did you also intend these for offerings to link to our current verse?
just my two cents…..or many sen
.
my fav. is your last one!
i like, too, the first one….
it could read smoother….with the plural form….(though i usually like to focus on just one thing)
beside the river
ukiyo-e artists sit
drawing blossoms
what do you think, jonathan?
Yes, plural artists results in a smoother read, but hard to picture multiple artists working at the same place, at least for me. I offer them just as they occurred to me and the renku brought to mind using a cherry blossom theme. Japanese carvers of woodblocks have long favored the tight grain and smooth carving qualities of slow-growing mountain cherry tree wood. Even though there is no blossom mention in that verse, I liked the cherry link and wanted it there because the three verses can also be read as a sequence of how a print is created. I agree, the last verse is the strongest.
the swaying blossoms
reflect
in a thousand eyes
*
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/574771971163340275/
Jonathan, I appreciated all three of these. Lyrical real aloud also.
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
*
Lorin Ford
*
the lightness
of being
a cherry blossom
Superb, Carmen! One of your best ever, imo. The verse enacts the lightness. The lightness is that of of being in the moment, in a succession of moments. Also, it takes me to Milan Kundera’s famous novel set in the Prague Spring, which certainly links this verse to the West Bank wall, as does even “lightness” itself, re Banky’s girl being lifted by the lightness of the balloons. Very nicely layered. (and there’s not been a ‘literature’ topic verse in this renku to date. Nor ‘philosophy’. This verse could fit either or both, imo.)
.
news of sakura
daily spreading
northwards
.
cherry blossoms
blown along the road
to the north
.
cherry blossoms
lifting
our spirits
.
breathing in
sakura scent
breathing out
.
cherry blossoms
brag about their brief
existence
So strange to be looking at the last of the autumn leaves in my garden, and writing about cherry blossom!
…
Verse 5:
…
lying on pink grass
and watching the drift
of cherry blossoms
…
Verse 6:
…
trying to remember
the time
of cherry blossoms
…
Verse 7:
…
children
rolling
in cherry blossom
…
Verse 8:
…
mother lolls under the cherry tree
in a whirlwind
of blossom
.
are these drifting petals
the dreams of that
old tree back there
.
.
Patricia, a couple of questions:
1) as I understand it, any use of the word ‘blossom’ in haiku is taken to mean ‘cherry blossom.’ Is that correct? If so, would that also apply to ‘petals’?
2) I see complete declarative sentences used in renku with no caps or punctuation. But would that go for questions too, or are they just not done? I can’t recall seeing any.
Thanks!
Judt
.
Judt, re your query 2, one example I’m familiar with. I hope it helps :
.
a line of ants
in the courgette flower—
early morning heat (hokku, Sandra Simpson)
.
perhaps you’d care
to share my parasol? (wakiku, John E. Carley)
.
(from “Early Morning Heat” (2013)
.
Thanks, Lorin!
Hi, Judt-
1) just the word “blossom(s)” in haiku or renku is understood to mean cherry blossoms. I don’t think this convention applies to petals. The Japanese word is “hana” meaning flower or blossom.
2) questions are a happy change of pace in a renku and they can be written with a question mark, but sometimes the fact that it’s a question might be clear without the question mark. So it becomes the writer’s or the sabaki’s choice. Clarity is the guiding principle here.
Thanks, Patricia.
dreaming
fuzzy dreams on a pillow
of cherry blossoms
*
*
tear gas forcing
the weeping cherry
to bloom
*
could it be
that Ellen’s third song was made
with blossom in mind
https://youtu.be/3d4xXvF2ukY
cherry trees next
to outhouses have the most
beautiful blossoms
.
a crone
and a maiden
beneath cherry blossoms
.
cherry blossoms
by the old
fountain
.
childhood
and cherry blossoms
forever young
.
precious
memories of
cherry blossoms
.
a crone
and a maiden
beneath cherry blossoms
— Kanjini
.
Very nice. almost as if winter is just about to make way for spring.
Thank you, Carol. That was exactly my thought 🙏🏾
like synchronised swimmers
cherry blossoms create
perfect pirouettes
as if
Schubert knew the code
for falling blossom
Lovely!
Thank you Judt and Lorin.
.
bathed in sunlight
I am consumed
by the blossom snow
yes, I agree. Lovely, indeed. Delicately tuned.
blowing up
her iconic dress
flashes of white blossom
redone:
blowing up
the skirt of her iconic dress
a white blossom flash
*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDwiurNm13s
lifting up
the skirt of her iconic dress
a white blossom flash
on a bright day
kaleidoscopes are great
for seeing blossoms
.
on a bright day
kaleidoscopes are great
way to capture blossoms
old fist tattoos
resemble cherry
blossoms
watching pandemic
cherry blossoms
with binoculars
old rare sakura tree
coats the body
of this porcelain doll
and this version, too:
*
old rare sakura tree
soul coats the body
of this porcelain doll
so, robert brings up interesting notions?
*
are there instances of use of double kigo in (published) renku?
*
and does it matter if it is in done in the hokku or the verse?
*
and how do we weigh in on it?
PATRICIA can you chime in on this?
JOHN can you chime in on this?
Hi, Wendy–Regarding your question of double kigo in a verse: sometimes there can be a double kigo if they are in the same season and if there is a harmonious relationship between the two. Two kigo in different seasons are confusing. Two kigo in the same season work only if one plays a supporting role to the more dominant kigo. If they are both of equal weight, the two fight for attention and the verse becomes divided and cannot cohere.
Thank you Patricia!
patricia….i agree with everything you have said….thank you for your time and effort here.
in my specific offered verse:
*
hinamatsuri
and peach blossoms
burst with joy
*
in the light, that “peach blossoms” are displayed along side the dolls on display at the doll festival, in order to clear out the demons of impurity….makes me believe that this enhances the verse…..
PATRICIA….do you agree?
https://www.nippon.com/en/features/jg00031/hinamatsuri-japan%E2%80%99s-doll-festival.html
Surely using a double kigo early on in a renku would cause problems later.
Would thu not Patricia?
Sorry Patricia, just seen my typo.
Would a double kigo create problems later in a renku , if included earlier?
Especially a short renku I suggest?
Best
Robert
Thank you, Patricia. Good info.
after i posted an earlier verse….
Lorin comments:
f(rom an earlier post by LORIN FORD:)
.
“Wendy, this is a good verse but it’s a true case of “double kigo”: the doll festival and the peach blossoms. You could lose “hinamatsuri” and rework L1, if you wanted to.”
.
here is some information and examples….on the topic of double kigo use:
.
John Stevenson. In 2014, published his “candy wrapper poem” that has more than one autumn kigo.
*
Chen-ou Liu…firefly ‘ku has more than one summer ‘ku
Editor’s First Choice, “Insect / Bug” Haiku Thread, Sketchbook, 6:4, July/August, 2011
Chen-ou Liu
*
Excerpt:
The use of one kigo in traditional Japanese Haiku is a guideline not a formal requirement. Below is a relevant excerpt from Bill Higginson’s Haiku World: An International Poetry Almanac (“Introduction,” pp. 33-5):
*
Basho, Buson and Issa used double kigo…haiku…..sometimes in different season, or stages of a season.
correction:
Chen-ou Liu…firefly ‘ku has more than one summer ‘kigo
Editor’s First Choice, “Insect / Bug” Haiku Thread, Sketchbook, 6:4, July/August, 2011
Chen-ou Liu
Hi Wendy
I think many of us now that examples of double kigo exist in haiku.
Being a newbie to renku I would be interested in hearing if double kigo is acceptable in renku verses. After all the only haiku is the hokku.
.
Just a point about this ongoing she said I said, you made a comment in verse form below about how someone is taking the fun out of this renku.
I think some of us are more guilty than others of doing this over the last two verses.
Taking a step back , I think it would benefit those that have yet to have a verse selected If we got on with creating inspirational versus as opposed to keep conversing for one up man ship.
Lorin made a point earlier about she would no longer comment on your verses, if you would kindly not comment on hers.
.
I think we have created some great verses between us all. It would be a shame if this renku is remembered for something other than the completed poem itself.
.
Best
Rob
i write renku and do scholarly discussion of kigo.
a good doctor
has steady hands to operate
on shot victim and shooter
Hi Robert
.
You have written an excellent comment.
Words of help, and a hand of friendship was offered and declined, by a person who, no doubt, has a great passion to lean, and given time and much study will be a very good poet, we learn from those who know better than ourselves.
There may have been a few blots along the way with this renku, and I agree with your last paragraph, Robert. I too have made comment on this elsewhere.
It’s been a learning curve, and an interesting one, from a personal perspective.
.
Apart from all the wonderful array of entered verses, one thing that has shone out is your delightful subtle humour 🙂
I think people have seen what they needed to see Carol.
.
Best
Robert 🙂
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
*
Lorin Ford
*
this year the prize
goes to the oldest
Cherry Blossom tree
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
*
Lorin Ford
*
every pull of oars
the cherry petals
land on my hair
Lovely image, Carmen. I wish I were there.
on the way home
we contemplate
cherry blossom
.
on the road home
we contemplate
cherry blossom
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall – Lorin Ford
.
the usual tipplers
stirring cherry petals
into their kirsch
.
sweet sixteen
her braided chignon pierced
with a broken sakura branch
calendars say
it’s cherry blossom time but
climate change alters that
~
are too many cherry brandies
a cherry blossom kigo?
Guess not:(
~
even in this pandemic
brilliant pinks glow
and we still can smile
~
blustery winds
creating pinkness all the way
to the end of the street
~
withdrawing cash
a pink petal falls
on fifty dollars
~~~end offers
“are too many cherry brandies
a cherry blossom kigo?
Guess not:( : ”
.
🙂 Ah, Barbara, but some of us might fancy a cherry brandy or two under the cherry trees. Potential for a verse there, I’d say. (cherry brandy was my favourite sneak tipple when I was 14 … in the pub my dad ran)
.
Good to see you posting!
Great question! Here’s my answer:
.
but for the blossom
there would be no
brandy
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall – Lorin Ford
.
breathing in
breathing out
sakura scent
.
held up
to a blossoming branch
baby’s nose wrinkles
.
could that traveller
between the blossoms be
Bashō passing by?
.
dogs and dog walkers
fade into evening’s
cherry blossom peace
.
(I know…no dogs or other mammals apart from humans, 🙂 but these are side notes, not actual submissions. )
.
.
.
morning dew
shimmers new blossoms
on the old, old cherry tree
.
This brought back memories of this short film on some of the history of Sakura in Japan Judt, hope you don’t mind me sharing an interesting link here.
.
https://youtu.be/BJzeevULhF0
Of course not! I enjoyed it, and it featured the tree I had in mind…Jindaizakura in Yamanashi Prefecture. It’s around 2,000 years old, and like some of the other really old ones is propped up on ‘crutches.’
I spent nine years in Japan, and this brought nice memories. Thanks!
Pleased you got something from it Judt.
I’ve yet to journey to Japan, it is on my to do list.
I have though enjoyed many hours viewing Japan through the NHK channel and taken away some great techniques and ideas .
Sadly haiku masters is a think of the past. It was another great vehicle to learn from and participate with.
Thank you for sharing this, Robert. I learned a lot. Was moved by the man preserving the “real” trees.
Pleased you too found the time Debbie. If you get a chance, some of the haiku masters video are still on line. All have an interring guest that show different aspects of Japan.
in this big chair rockin’
i breast feed my baby
by a sakura sunrise
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
Lorin Ford
.
I went looking
but could find no bones
in cherry blossom
.
when an olive branch
falls in your hand do you think
cherry blossom too
.
in a world of change
change happens
cherry blossom
.
my priest once said
if you can’t see the cherry blossom
move
.
it’s not enough
to just say
cherry blossom
cherry blossom tea
stain fading on a
Starbucks napkin
########
cherry blossoms
erased by
morning fog
popcorn commercial
at the drive-in &
a hoodful of sakura
Please note. There has been another change in Lorin Ford’s verse. It now reads:
.
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
lost in the timeless
moment
of a cherry blossom bubble
*
all wrapped up
in a cherry blossom
cocoon
*
at once raveling
and unraveling
a cherry blossom cocoon
*
Laurie, would you mind defining cocoon here for me? I researched and what I found was kimonos with cherry blossoms painted on them, and the more practical discussion of caterpillars. These verses intrigue me. Thanks. Debbie
through the haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
*
living the dream
of a perfect
cherry blossom bubble
*
through the haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
*
my own private waggle dance
where no one
can see me
*
Laurie, this reminded me of stories I’m hearing of how some are keeping entertained during the pandemic.
I was just trying to link with the haze by keeping the blossoms hidden but evoking them with an image that can only spell out flowers. Not sure if it works, but interesting to try.
mentioning the blossoms but evoking them
Ah. Thanks for the explanation. My funny imagination had taken me to dancing balloons, then other’s self isolation.
pink blossoms rise up
on the wind
we breathe so carelessly
–
no cherry blossoms
within thousands of miles
of us
–
in your reckless heart
blossoms fall
without a passing glance
–
pink petals drying out
in the heat
of a desert day
Jonathan, this read as a rather melancholy sequence to me. From wind, to dried petals in the desert. I found “in your reckless heart…” especially moving.
The first is my favourite of these, Jonathon. Excellent linking (of course) but it’s that last word, ‘carelessly’, that carries the caution we must all feel in these “interesting times” . Done with an admirable light touch.
Thanks Debbie and Lorin. I guess I am a bit lost in melancholia, but writing helps. 10,000 Maniacs and Natalie Merchant have a song (“Noah’s Dove”) that repeats the phrase “in your restless mind” that was a starting point for that verse. To your point Lorin, I was thinking about the word “careless” and the interesting way it can be interpreted in two, almost opposite ways: as risky and thoughtless or as without a care in a happy-go-lucky, carefree sense.
Very effective, Jonathan. Thanks for sharing.
I like the movement in these Jonathan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH-y9nubg0k
.
blowing in the wind
each sakura blossom
tends the answer
.
or,
each sakura blossom
tends the answer
blowing in the wind
Clysta, they are both lovely. Were you inspired by the song? “The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind…”
Thanks for asking Debbie. Yes, the song was written when I was in high school and has often reverberated in my lifetime and now once again. when will we ever learn….the West Bank, D.C., Charlottesville, the list goes on. I have learned so much in the last few months. I never realized we could use song lyrics and book titles in renku.
I agree Clysta, it is a beautiful song.
day dreams
of cotton candy
and cherry blossoms
*****
a dark sky
goes unnoticed
when the cherry blossoms
*****
viewing is cancelled
but the cherry blossoms
keep blooming
.
University of Washington
March 2020
*****
I like all of these Debbie.
The top one I was in the process of creating myself.
Best
Rob
Go ahead, if it was nearly finished. I don’t mind.
love that second one, with the unexpected (at least by me) switch of “blossoms” from noun to verb. Caught me off guard–just like the flowers do!
Thank you, Laurie. Glad you got it.
I sure did enjoy reading these Debbie especially the dark sky one.
Thank you, Dan.
slight winds
and then and then
sakura petals settle
through the haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
Lorin Ford
.
on the cherry blossom path
the walk to work
is always longer
.
at the blossom festival
they hand out head dresses
to everyone
in Japan
they take care of the Sakura
by using props
.
the school boy
regrets kicking blossom
all the way
.
one wonders if
Christopher Wren designed St. Paul’s
with cherries in mind
.
Thank you Debbie.
I changed from sheep to lambs thinking it would have additional layers. 🙂
I am glad there’s finally been a compromise over the West Bank verse…
*
everyone tells
the cherry blossoms
they’re beautiful
*
lost in sakura blossoms
as my opponent
considers his move
*
the cherry blossoms
are on both sides
of the river
*
she imagines a daughter
named Sakura
also with pink ribbons
*
the cherry trees
litter the water’s edge
with pink ribbons
*
the cherry blossoms
tell her
the gender
*
And for humor instead of the renku:
*
well-preserved:
my canned sardines
still swimming!
M.R. I thought “lost in sakura blossoms…” lovely. My first thought was they were near the tree, then I considered that his mind was dreaming of another place.
ah, your “lost in sakura (or cherry) blossoms”…. and chess in the park.
A very nice move, imo. 🙂
Thanks, Debbie! The idea was that they were playing chess or go (a much milder form of conflict) under/near cherry trees, but that’s a neat way of looking at it—”lost” referring to the distraction perhaps costing him the game, or the knowing they already lost.
*
Lorin, glad you liked it too! Hope you enjoyed that last verse too; that one was for you lol Good to see you were able to tweak your verse to your liking!
Yes, M.R…. I did get a smile out of your ‘canned sardines’ verse. 🙂
.
(now, Campbell’s soup had their Andy Warhol labels about a decade ago. I wonder who we might feature on sardine cans?)
.
Oh, how I would like to respond😂
Oh, how I would like to respond😂….nothing related to renku!!
Judt, it wouldn’t be the first time discussions went off-topic here lol…I think my haiku should start showing up on sardine cans any day now! They might be waiting for the appropriate season, though.
cherry blossoms &
even little boys look on
the dolls with excitement
changed to:
cherry blossoms &
little children smile
at the dolls
Dear Patricia, and John Stevenson,
Greetings. Thanks for for selecting mine, honored and humbled.
with regards
S.Radhamani
protected
on one side
the fragile blossoming tree
hinamatsuri
and peach blossoms
burst with joy
Wendy, I thought this an exuberant link to the balloon verse.
how nice for you to say and see that, thank you, debbie.
Wendy, this is a good verse but it’s a true case of “double kigo”: the doll festival and the peach blossoms. You could lose “hinamatsuri” and rework L1, if you wanted to.
yep, i could, lorin…..i did the “double kigo sin”….knowingly, and deliberately…
this one will stays as-is….and i will go to double-kigo hell for it, if i must.
i will, however, write others…..
BTW:
I thought i heard, the sabaki in charge here say…..that she, Patricia….wasn’t keen on workshopping verses. so i stopped!
Only if someone requests help.
So, my comment and suggestion amounts to an example of workshopping in your view, then? No offense intended, Wendy. I won’t comment further on anything of yours in future, then, and would appreciate it if you’d return the favour.
.
*
And for humor instead of the renku:
*
sakura sunrise
the backseat sabaki
is a buzzkill
*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw-NDIoCDsA
It’s a nasty senryu. It’s not funny. It’s not clever and, like other of your posts have been, it’s rude beyond belief.
.
you may comment on anything you like, lorin…..i welcome your input……but do keep in mind, i don’t always agree with them….as often i find your intentions don’t always appear to me to becoming from an unbiased place, or too narrow a range of understanding. they can be stifling, to me….producing a bad atmosphere for me to create in.
i do very much admire the friendly, fun times we had when i first met with you in John’s tawny renku…..but shortly when my verse was selected…the magic disappeared…you weren’t too friendly…. your input when it is done fairly, i appreciate…..but when it is wielded as a weapon….i loose respect for you. you have tried in every way you can to deny me any kudos…when my verses are selected into renku…with your constant adherence to “rules”.
i find you to be a bad sport in this game….and somehow….your nose is bent out of shape….by my participation….truly underneath all this tantrum i know we really appreciate each other deeply….and could enhance a group instead of creating division??????? where is that joyful, fun-loving lady i first met? i miss her and want her back.
i find this to be a very funny senryu/verse and done in like manner to the roasting that went on in ancient times often placed in kyoka form…..with that in mind….i do offer it into this renku for Patricia’s consideration:
sakura sunrise
the backseat sabaki
is a buzzkill
*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw-NDIoCDsA
Wendy, I think you need to read back!
Lorin questioned the sabaki on her reasoning on your verse, and before that, on someone else’s verse. It was not directed at you personally!
The verse in her mind (more experienced than you and I and some others) needed clarification under the guidance rules.
Had her mind been put at rest, you would have had your precious creative space that you have been a major force in clogging.
..
Your rudeness astounds.
I agree with your comment. Robert.
.
I cannot imagine for one moment this would be considered in the kyu section, or any other section, but each to his/her own.
.
Look up the word Karumi, you may want to investigate its concept.
I found this by MDW..
https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwiuyM_umfnpAhULQhUIHRb-AX4QFjAJegQICBAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.graceguts.com%2Fessays%2Flaughing-with-karumi&usg=AOvVaw1zFjnjU7ArGUxItegabUYS
An enlightening read.
Thank you.
hinamatsuri
and peach blossoms
burst with joy
*
https://www.nippon.com/en/features/jg00031/hinamatsuri-japan%E2%80%99s-doll-festival.html
rising in hope
the release of blossom petals
by an olive branch
*
reaching
for the sky
blossom cool
cherry blossoms
riding the back
of a bull
######
cherry blossoms
line cobblestoned
memory lane
#######
falling blossoms
resemble butterflies
when you’re near-sighted
########
falling
is better
than wilting
########
in Hell cherry
blossoms and flamingos
are plastic
Dan, I’ve enjoyed how you tell a story, and often make us laugh. This is an example of why it would be hard to see the contributions limited. Some here get more creative as the week goes along.
cherry blossoms
riding the back
of a bull
—Dan
.
Wow! what an image, a great juxtaposition, what an exit this would make, Yahooooo!
Even though it can be read as a gentle pastoral scene, more fitting for this section.
Nice work. Slip it in your pocket for another day.
1)cherry all through
my flight from ground
shine and glow
******
foot on each petal
through march of surprise
bonanza
****
moments
of whispering in cherry
bunch of love
***
through the haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
*
Lorin Ford
*
a blur
of emotions
as the cherry blossoms fly by
*
everyone looks familiar
in the scrim
of blossoms
*
no strangers
in the scrim
of blossoms
*
through the haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
*
Lorin Ford
*
the blur of blossoms
illuminates
the message
*
the message parses
differently with a blur
of blossoms
*
“blur of blossoms” . . . a truly evocative phrase (as well as nice linking)
through the haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
*
Lorin Ford
*
afterglow cherries
lighting up
the block ahead
*
yoshino and kwanzan
calling
to the others
*
nothing left
but the afterglow
cherries
*
falling blossom
carried upstream
by a passing barge
Andrew, lovely movement here, as we near the end of our renku.
thanks Debbie
I thought we needed some water reference in the renku
We started of on a cold snowy day, and hopefully your verse will bring us to a lovely day in spring with blossom being transported on the clear water. Beautiful image.
on the festival end
the petals
of an old sakura
*
this moment
already runs away
like cherry petals
*
our meeting night
is already flying away
in a scent of plum
*
flights on flowers
herald in the sunset
the party’s end
Margherita, these are similarly themed and make a nice read. I went back to “on the festival end…”
*
sweeping up
cherry blossom petals
the whirl of her tricycle tires
.
or
.
the whirl of her tricycle tires
sweeping up
cherry blossom petals
still flying
ryuujo & blossom petals
in her cheek
*
and if “cheek” reverts back to robert’s “mask”
*
still flying
ryuujo & blossom petals
in her braids
a promise hiding
in the depth
of the blossom
Much promise (and the haikai sort of ‘mystery’) in this flawlessly simple verse. My sincere respect, Ellen.
Lorin, thank you so much.
Hi Ellen,
I think this a poignant verse. At these times we need a little hope. This to me paints a picture of Abraham arriving in the promise land.
Nicely done!
Please note that there has been a change in Lorin Ford’s verse. I now reads:
.
through the haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
Thanks for the update.
Thank you for making the change and also for leaving a message here in the thread, John.
.
This doesn’t affect anyone’s linking possibilities, but as I mentioned further down, If the definite article in L1 could be deleted some time before the this renku goes to the archive, I’d appreciate it.
.
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
sprigs of blossom
in the drifter’s
backpack
blossom appear
from a wanderer’s
napsack
I like this one, a lot Carol. It moves this important part of this renku along, in my view, and that seems a perfect fit for what’s needed at this stage of the kyū part. The drifter is moving on, just passing through as drifters do… a “happy wanderer” striding along . . .and what an image that backpack is, with blossom springs poking out from it .
this version is the one I mean:
.
sprigs of blossom
in the drifter’s
backpack
Thankyou, Lorin, for your encouraging comment, it really makes me feel, at last, I may be getting somewhere with verse linking.
.
‘happy wanderer’ most definitely, and a happier one, knowing you like it.
.
“Hi, Lorin–I accept your rewrite. Thank you for finding a way to make this work for everyone. ” – Patricia
.
Thank you, Patricia. I’m really glad we could agree on a resolution.
.
I can see now that the small tweak of deleting the definite article in L1 might make it a bit less wordy & awkward:
.
from
.
through the haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
to
.
through haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
would be my preference. What do you think?
That’s fine.
Thanks so much, Patricia.
lightness
of a blossom cupped
in both hands
a blossom alights
into a gentleman’s
bento box
cherry petals fall
into a gentleman’s
bento box
the scent of the weeping plum
has broken
the six-foot rule
reluctant to leave
our guests linger
in the blossom shade
This work. I like this one Carol
Thankyou Robert 🙂
or
.
reluctant to leave
our guests linger
in blossom shade
children cycle
through swirls
of blossom petals
drat, this one’s out
So glad this has been amicably resolved between Patricia and Lorin.
.
Congratulations,
in his insomnia
he swaps sheep
for cherry blossom
through the haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
Lorin Ford
.
revision
.
in his insomnia
he swaps lambs
for cherry blossom
a soft glow
of cherry blossom
on geishas face
.
a gush
of cherry blossom
on the wind
.
in old London
they cover the scars
with blossom
.
We’re shearing at the moment Robert, I’ll get them done for you 🙂
In Dylan’s own words “I never said what I said”
.
razor light
the fresh shorn sheep
go commando
ha Ha, Rob, nothing like the freedom of ‘going commando’
Robert, I live the sound of “swaps sheep”. Altho the lambs are more seasonal.
Oops re Robert’ sheep, meant love.
Hi Debbie, I hope you see my response above. I don’t know why it went where it did. It’s not the first time.
through the haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
Lorin Ford
*
*
walking lightly
over hatsu hana
mother earth is pregnant
PATRICIA ??????
i am concerned…..is everything all right health wise with you and your family? i haven’t heard heard from you for a long while…..
JOHN ????? is everything thing al lright with patricia?
Hi, Wendy and all–I am okay. I have just been very busy. I apologize that I wasn’t available to weigh in earlier.
At Lorin’s request her verse is being changed to her wording.
Robert’s verse stands, as is.
Looking forward to seeing everyone’s cherry blossom verses.
Thank you Patricia.
yeah! glad everyone is well…and this is resolved!
Thank you, Patricia. On to cherry blossoms…
Lorin, you are clearly one of the more knowledgeable voices here, so I enjoy your input and writing ability, but maybe a balloon painting and canned sardines aren’t great comparisons? If balloons are Spring, isn’t a work of art with balloons Spring, also? Possibly opening a can of sardines even brings me back to that kigo season, momentarily, but I understand the argument either way. I see modifying what we have better than going backward. I believe no matter the form, some creative flexibility should exist, as I’m sure we’ve broken many traditional rules at some point.
*
This would eliminate the wall, hypnosis, and art concerns, maybe, or something along these lines?
*
a balloon girl free from
that West Bank wall
that balloon girl from
the West Bank?
*
a stretch lol
Dear M. F. and Everyone,
I’m truly sorry about this delay. I had no intention of holding things up. I have no idea why there has been no acknowledgement or response from Patricia.
.
Patricia was correct when she observed (below) that I’m “aware of the practice of tweaking verses in renku”. I’ve experienced such tweaking as a communal practice. However, to me, “tweaking” verses doesn’t mean changing a 3-line non-seasonal verse to a 2-line “spring” verse ( & in the process making it into a mere fragment, not imo a verse at all) and whacking it into a verse position it was never intended to occupy, and (this is the most important part) all this without the slightest consultation.
.
I was shocked, but I tried to comply and fix it…unsuccessfully.
.
Because I’m concerned about the hold-up, I have, this morning, tried again to find some way to tweak Patricia’s tweak into a verse I’d be willing to put my name to but without success except for this one possibility:
.
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca – Robert Kingston
.
through the haze that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
(haze (kasumi, all spring) )
.
If that version is acceptable and you want it, Patricia, I’m happy for it to be included. If it’s not, then I want to be clear that this version: “that balloon girl/on the West Bank wall” has been withdrawn.
.
At least this latest version has the required spring kigo/ seasonal reference.
(And no, M.F. “balloon”, if it’s an image of a balloon, isn’t a kigo/ seasonal reference, I’d argue. Van Gogh’s painting of sunflowers isn’t a seasonal reference although sunflowers are. Fallen fig leaves would be an autumn seasonal reference but a plaster or marble fig leaf placed discreetly across the genitals of Michelangelo’s David would not be . Some might claim that having both “haze” and “balloon” in the one verse breaks some rule regarding ‘double kigo’, but to my mind only the haze counts as kigo in context of Banky’s artwork on the West Bank wall. That’s the way I see it, anyway. I realize that view might not be universally acceptable.
.
Hi, Lorin–I accept your rewrite. Thank you for finding a way to make this work for everyone.
So pleased you managed a compromise Ladies. It is though sad that some earlier contentions weren’t able to be sorted more amicably, it may have taken some of the tension out of the renku.
Still, here we are looking forward to your next selection Patricia.
Good luck everyone!
and if lorin’s stays:
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
.
Robert Kingston
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
Lorin Ford
*
still flying
ryuujo & blossom petals
in her cheek
if robert’s verse be the one we link to:
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
.
Robert Kingston
*
the stream of bubbles
that she wands back
a memory of a snow melt’s rivulet
that ends at the curb
my memory of a snow melt’s rivulet
that ends at the curb
gut shabbos, marty,
i like very much how you also ended your verse with:
.
rivulet that ends
at the curb
.
( unfortunately, it reminds me of the terrifying, recent buffalo, ny incident)
your verse offers are quite lovely….i hope you will offer more, martin.
Hi Everyone
…
As Lorin has withdrawn her verse I think we need to hold off on posting more verses until we receive advice from Patricia as to how we move forward. No point linking to a non-existent verse!
…
Pauline
I agree Pauline. I have given Patricia the freedom to withdraw mine too, based on her commentary.
..
Rob
I agree. We have until Tuesday midnight. I’m willing to give this some time to get resolved. I can’t speak for our leader, but I’m hoping after grieving the breakdown here, she is able to consult with John or others to gain support to move on. I personally am grieving some of the words and tone that have been used here, as well as the loss of what appeared to me to be strong, creative verses. It is gracious of you Robert to offer to drop your verse. But, if we were a voting community, I would vote to leave your verse in and move on from there. Anxious to see what Patricia decides. I appreciate what she and THF have offered to the community here, as well as the participants who have kept their tone positive.
I second Debbie’s suggestion to keep Robert’s verse and move on but look forward to Patricia’s guidance on this.
the cherry blossoms
in her hair were
beautiful souvenirs
a murder
of crows, ankle deep
in cherry blossoms
Please see my notice of withdrawal, below (among the discussion). I’m withdrawing all versions of my
.
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
still flying
.
from consideration, including Patricia’s
.
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
and including my own attempts at making a suitable 2-liner out of it. The current verse is a spring verse which should linking to Robert’s “all seasons/ no particular season”
.
My best wishes to All.
So sad to read this, but understandable, after reading the conversation between yourself and the sabaki.
Dear Lorin
I was hoping you could have worked out a way through. I think your verse is an important part of Patricia’s reasoning and a great addition to the poem.
.
Grabbing at straws here, but my inner demon says to question.
.
Is not the mere mention of the balloon reason enough to give it its standing?
Are we being too forensic by attaching it to its surrounds?
.
I understand that perhaps a conversation should have taken place, but I’m thinking it would have been difficult given how the renku is run. Ie, we have no interaction once the end date/ time closes.
.
This effectively backs up my idea of more minimal posting, thus giving more time for workshopping verses that work best. Yes it would mean more sabaki interaction but is this not how it works when sat in a room.
Yes we’d have to work in a time lapse, I’m sure it could work if all parties were in agreement.
.
Just thinking aloud.
.
Please give it some thought.
.
Best
Robert
I would be keen for a more ‘workshop’ approach, Rob.
Totally agree, Kanjini.
Hopefully we haven’t lost one of our most experienced and prolific poet (for the moment) due to this discrepancy. We can only learn by her input.
.
Robert, I have no desire to fall out with you, but I do not think we are being over forensic with this, it was Lorin’s intent for a non seasonal verse, and a good one it is, and no doubt I am over stepping the mark, but her verse has had a hatchet taken to it, and I agree with her decision to withdraw.
.
For what it is worth I sincerely hope your verse will not be removed as I can’t see any reason why it should be, just like the mask, it is a gem 🙂
Dear Kanjini,
We’ll have to wait to see what others think and whether THF consider it worthy to consider.
.
Dear Carol,
why you even think I would fall out with you over a verse is beyond me. 🙂
What I raised was a question to those of more experience. I respect Lorin’s decision and the reasoning behind it.
Fortunately I am just an observer in this.
I think too much has been said on the matter already. In my view it would be best to let Patricia resolve the situation .
I’m not sure going through the rapids was intended to mean it literally.
.
Best
Rob
L.O.L with your last comment, Rob,
I agree we are all observers, and there is a lot to observe ( and to read into)
.
I’ve never participated in a renku quite like this, I’m learning (fast)
as you never know what’s going to back at you, hence my cautionary approach 🙂
.
I’m really looking forward to the next renku session, as this is a place that takes me to a stress – free world, and sadly it hasn’t this time, non-the-less, hopefully there’ll be another rainbow session on the horizon 🙂
.
Thanks for your reply, Robert.
Sorry to hear this, Lorin and I empathize.
Congratulations to Rob and Lorin and appreciation to Patricia for deepening the renku.
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
.
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
.
the pink tip of the limb
of a young cherry tree—
first petals award
.
the pinked limb
of an old cherry tree—
blossoms at each zig and zag
.
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
*
murals
blossoming all over
the world
*
tps://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/gallery/2020/jun/05/george-floyd-murals-worldwide-street-artists
laurie , i really love your linking verse here! how it shows the beauty of life growing out from pain, and compassion and how you used “blossoming” in another way, grammatically….and i’m sure you also know that this at the same time it doesn’t represent the “blossom” requirement….but you wanted to post this wonderful verse to share your creative vision….thank you.
.
the link below is not “hot”….because it is missing the first letter(s).
but i can copy and paste it and the url will complete itself in the window….thank you for sharing this positivity
Thanks everyone for the kind words.
.
Dear Patricia
Having read through the comments I see their is some controversy.
Should you wish to review your choice concerning mine, I will understand.
If I can just mention that my connection to the moth verse, was the moth itself.
The beady eyes and many colour forms came into my mind when watching a programme on the British museum, when the mask appeared as part of the commentary.
.
For anyone interested here is the link.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000hqq9/museums-in-quarantine-series-1-4-british-museum
.
Kind regards
Rob
Ps.
Sorry I’ve not been about these last two days. This is due to work commitments.
Thanks for the link Robert.
You’re welcome Carol. There is an amazing series of museums in lock down to explore. Enjoy!!!
thanks for the link, rob…..i tried it….and it is only open to uk residents….it says.
but i will look for others….online.
You’re welcome Wendy.
Not sure if you can get BBC iPlayer internationally.
Under the arts section is the lock down museums and galleries.
Good luck!
Hi, Robert–I am happy with your excellent verse. Please know it fits the renku perfectly where it is.
Thank you Patricia
my suggestion for a solution to lorin’s verse….
what do you think…lorin??????????
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
.
Robert Kingston
*
r e l e a s e that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
Lorin Ford
*
sweeping up
blossom petals
the whirl of tricycle tires
.
or
.
the whirl of tricycle tires
sweeping up
blossom petals
Are you questioning the sabaki’s decision, Wendy?
.
And this is a painting. How can you release a painting on a wall?
this is an ongoing discussion, carol. and since it is being done, in a respectful manner, and i have been invited to discuss it by lorin….the author of verse…. i am replying to a request by lorin…for a solution…..to make the transition from robert’s verse to lorin’s verse……as i see it….it has not been finalized as
to how to make it flow properly.
.
as to your second question, carol……one would possibly need to let their imaginations create this magic…..it works for me and i don’t have any problem with it.
another point, carol, in my following the discussion between patricia and lorin, i understand that patricia asked lorin to see it as a real girl and real balloon(s)….and lorin agreed that it could been looked at it that way.
.
also. i don’t have any problems asking questions of any sabaki…..i have done it before……it was for clarification.
.
my only issue, is that these questions are done respectfully, directly. and not ganging-up….in mob-like fashion….and that they are done in the faith of pursuit of learning , truth, and clarification, [ not to distract, or knock one down to make themselves’ look better or to put a feather in ones own hat]
.
With regard to your second paragraph, Wendy, I so glad you’ve seen the error of your ways.
If this is how you see it and it works for you, that’s all that matters.
I’m sure Lorin will be more than delighted to engage in conversation, on this matter,
with you help solve this issue, look forward to reading the end result.
.
Your disrespectfully
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
*
almost a new city
under the sway
of the blossoming cherries
*
arguing over which
cherries
bloomed here first
*
not every cherry
survives
its replanting
*
cherry blossoms
only pretend
to have no roots
*
the sunrise
well filtered
by the booming cherries
*
reading the mysteries
of the orient
in the blossoming cherries
*
half the city
preoccupied
by the cherries
*
What a surprise this morning to see two great verses chosen at once! It was a week full of wonderful links. Congratulations to Robert and Lorin!
…
Verse 1:
…
weeping cherries line the river
and their petals
float on the tide
…
Verse 2:
…
pink and white petals
floating
onto her golden hair
…
Verse 3:
…
cherry blossoms
randomly sprinkled
on the silk kimono
…
Verse 4:
…
the oldest cherry tree
in the world
still blossoms and grows fruit
Congrats Robert and Lorin. Lorin I really dig your verse ;bansky is the bomb in my book !!!!
****************************************************************************
a life well lived
spent in search of
the perfect sakura
****************
overcome
as Yamatka Jindaizakura
comes into view
******************
sakura in bloom
ring either side
of the midway
************
cherry blossoms
pressed with a brick
wrapped in velvet
Michael, I especially like…”wrapped in velvet”. It is a unique use of the theme, and preserving the blossoms seems fitting as we approach the end of this renku.
A question for our sabaki –
I know the blossom verse is traditional, but can spring flower be used?
It can be but just so you know I am partial to cherry blossoms
Thankyou, Patricia. Blossoms are coming your way 🙂
😉
.
almost seeing the breeze
as pink petals flutter
swoop and spiral
.
I love the way the renku has meandered in the way conversations do, and has come from the silliness of the emu to the moth that seemed to say, ‘Ok, boys and girls, let’s settle down.’ And now to a beautiful gravitas.
Congratulations, Lorin and Robert!
Chernobyl’s
cherry blossoms, how they
glow at night
########
biking through
a snowfall
of cherry blossoms
########
unlike leaves,
cherry blossoms
fall with graces
Love your second one, Dan
.
children cycle
through swirls
of blossom petals
.
you really are an inspiration 🙂
dear carol, you made my day, have a wonderful weekend!
I certainly will, Dan, You and your family have a good one, too 🙂
*
there’s a time
and a season, hallelujah
cherry blossoms!
*
there is a time
and a purpose, so thank you
cherry blossoms
Congratulations Robert, Lorin and Patricia. Such creativity.
*
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
Robert Kingston
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
Lorin Ford
*
blossom viewing
fractured skies
alone
Well, imagine my surprise!!! 🙂
.
Firstly, my hearty congratulations and kudos to you, Robert. 🙂
.
That luna moth, with it’s eye-spots, put me in mind of a mask. too, so for me, this verse of yours shows an excellent link to Jonathon’s verse. I don’t know by what name this kind of linking is known (‘transference of visual features’, perhaps?) but I think it’s primary: we humans do see faces in things (I think now of Martin Lucas’s haiku re “faces in the trees”) and, it seems, so do birds and other predators of moths and butterflies. I also appreciated this verse of yours for its introduction, via this mosaic mask, of a new topic to this renku, that of Religious Art ( subset of visual arts).
.
Patricia, I’m happy to have something included in the final renku and although your strategy involving this verse of mine comes as a surprise in context a publicly composed renku, I assure you that I have participated in the switching and changing and tweaking of verses before, under JEC’s guidance, so I’m not completely shocked. 🙂
.
“So what “rules” did I break besides altering Lorin’s verse? I let in a “wall” with a “screen door” two verses away.”- Patricia
.
You broke no rules at all, to my mind. Your instructions were “No more buildings or parts of buildings. ” The West Bank wall is not part of a building but a barrier or fence that Palestinian’s have called “the apartheid wall”…a wall something like the current USA president aspired to with his “big, beautiful wall.” If there was a rule applying to separation of any kind of human construction whatsoever by such-and-such number of verses there might be cause for concern. (I don’t have access to any of these charts of separation, so I have no way of knowing)
.
re:
“I love this verse and I want it in the renku, but it is a spring verse. So, what to do?” – Patricia
.
I’m really pleased to know you liked my original, Patricia, but I don’t think it qualified as a spring verse at all. Yes, “balloon” is on the list as a spring kigo, but as we discussed earlier in this renku, although “sardines” are on the list as an autumn kigo, canned sardines don’t qualify as a kigo. Balloons drawn on paper or painted on a wall don’t qualify as kigo any more than canned sardines do and I believe art work needs to be recognised as “all year/ all seasons”, as a year-round topic rather than as kigo.
ps
Patricia, and anyone else who might have some insight :
.
I’d be interested to know how this 2-line verse (my submitted verse minus its 3rd line) links to Robert’s verse:
.
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
.
Robert Kingston
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
Lorin Ford
*
Yes, both verses could be placed under the general topic, ‘art’, but is that sufficient as a link?
.
I can also see how my (shortened) verse runs on from Robert’s (perhaps like the 2nd part of a tan renga?) so that it reads as if the balloon girl is the subject who is “hypnotised by the mosaic mask. . .” but is that desirable? More to the point, does joining up two consecutive verses so that the result is a sentence necessarily link them, as “link” is intended in renku?
.
the link is discord: the mask is one of the Aztec God of discord and war. And the West Bank is well-known for discord, is it not?
Thanks for these comments, Patricia. Truly appreciated. Yes, I can see the two verses linking through the idea of discord, now that you mention it.
I agree with you that objects included in artwork, such as a balloon, do not act as kigo. But, Lorin, your “balloon girl” (lower case) can be read on the surface as a real girl selling real balloons ( a spring kigo) from a wall in the West Bank. The Banksy image is alluded to. Wonderfully.
Yes, I can see a fictional balloon girl selling from a wall, but not on a wall, and this specific piece by Banksy is well-known to be located on this particular wall. It made quite a splash and is not forgotten.
.
Lorin–I am immensely relieved to know that you are aware of the practice of tweaking verses in renku and are okay with it. I know that it is something many western writers are not used to and can be very offended by it. Thank you for your gracious acceptance of my change to your verse.
Yes, I’m aware and ok with it (because of JEC) but I’m not used to it happening without consultation and discussion, and I’ve not seen or been involved with the reduction of a verse to a fragment before.
.
What I’m not keen on here is (a) the (I assume inadvertent) absurdity & distraction caused by syntactical run-on from Robert’s verse: that the balloon girl is hypnotized by the mosaic mask.
.
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
.
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
Here, the balloon girl is the subject of a (I’m pretty sure, unintended) complete sentence. Also, although of course I understand the difficulty of honing a 3-liner into a 2-liner I’m also not keen (b) on the “pointing finger” fragment that remains in my verse after L3 is removed. (that girl who…, that boy who… what? ) It reads as if something had been unintentionally left out, so attention returns to the maeku, and unfortunately what we have with the two combined is that complete sentence. How to fix things?
.
Are you open to small tweaks, Patricia? Some possibilities for you to consider might be (a) first person context, (b) the celebratory context, (c) the cinematic cut and (d ) continuation:
.
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
.
(a)
I dream of that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
or
.
a dream of that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
(b)
three cheers for that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
(c)
cut to that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
(d)
that balloon girl still rising
on the West Bank wall
.
I’d feel much more comfortable about having my name next to one of those in the THF ‘completed renku’ files. https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/the-haiku-foundation-renku-archive/
.
What do you think, Patricia? (There may be other possibilities, other suggestions, from you and/or from others that could also work. ) Please let me know. Anxiety is an issue with me at present (and probably with many others around the world, too.)
this is my two cents……what do you think, lorin?
.
r e l e a s e that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
that balloon girl still rising
on the West Bank wall
.
I really like this one, Lorin. I thought it was Banksy’s heart ballon girl you were referring to at first, but when I checked it out, I realised that it is the silhouetted child being carried upwards by her bunch of balloons…
I like ‘d’, Lorin.
Thanks, Wendy, Marion and Kanjini for your suggestions and preferences.
.
I’ve now had a whole overnight to consider the problem and Patricia has had a whole day to consider my yesterday’s 2-line suggestions. It’s nearly 8am in Melbourne. . . a frosty winter morning.
.
I don’t think any of my tweaks work well though I agree with Marion and Kanjina that (d) is the one I’d be most happy to sign my name against out of the lot. But better, I think, that I withdraw.. . hopefully, with some grace.
.
Wendy, I do think I see where your coming from. But how can anyone “release” an image in graffiti art? To me, “release that girl” confuses the issue: Banksy’s image image or a real person?
.
I don’t think anything I can do (or anyone else can do) would transform the 3 line verse I submitted as a possibility to link to Jonathans maeku to a 2 line verse that links to Robert’s maeku (our current maeku) .
.
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
still flying
.
Though Patricia liked this verse, she considered it to be a spring verse:
.
“I love this verse and I want it in the renku, but it is a spring verse. So, what to do? ” – P
.
In my view it is not a spring verse but an “all seasons/ no season” verse as I intended it to be. Street art is art and, unless someone paints over it, it may be viewed the whole year around. Banksy is perhaps the world’s most interesting and famous street artist of this century.
..
The issue has become clearer since I recalled Patrica mentioning JEC’s Renku Reckoner” in her very first post:
.
“A few people have asked which format we’ll be using; it will be the demikasen as documented by John Carley.” – https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/2020/02/20/the-renku-sessions-invitation/
.
Having now checked JEC’s schema (p58), I find that verses 14 & 15 are meant to be “no season/all seasons” (in this renku, Jonathan’s verse and Robert’s verse) but verse 16 is supposed to be a spring verse, the verse in preparation for the blossom verse. (So make sure your offers are ‘early spring’ or ‘all spring’)
.
Much as Patricia needs a spring verse that a blossom verse can link to for verse #16, there is no way that my verse on the subject of Banksy’s famous balloon girl on the wall in Jerusalem can be modified to become a 2-line verse featuring a ‘real’ girl in the springtime …. without murdering it or making it unacceptably (to me) vague. It could only be seen as a spring verse if we took “balloons” as a kigo and the catch is that paintings, photos, representations etc. of balloons don’t count as kigo. (Patricia, Wendy and I had this discussion weeks ago in regard to canned sardines.)
.
Pleased as I am that Patricia liked the verse in its original, 3 line form, I don’t want to sign my name against Patricia’s adaptation to 2 line form and I don’t think any of my attempts work well following Robert’s verse either. I’m happiest to know that it was recognised on Patricia’s list, even though wrongly considered to be a spring verse.
.
One clarification:
“in my following the discussion between patricia and lorin, i understand that patricia asked lorin to see it as a real girl and real balloon(s)” – Wendy
.
yes.
“….and lorin agreed that it could been looked at it that way.”
.
Not exactly, Wendy. This is what I actually wrote:
.
“Yes, I can see a fictional balloon girl selling from a wall, but not on a wall, and this specific piece by Banksy is well-known to be located on this particular wall. It made quite a splash and is not forgotten.”
.
So my polite acknowledgment includes the point of where we differ and does not add up to an agreement. I understand why Patricia would like it to work, but I can’t see that it does work.
.
Anyway, time is passing and everyone needs to get on with this renku.
.
I’m withdrawing all tweaks to and versions of my:
.
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
still flying
.
including all 2-line efforts at adaptation, from consideration for this renku.
I feel this is best. I’d not be happy to have any of those 2-line adaptations in the THF archive of completed renku.
.
Everyone can now be clear that the verse they are following is Robert’s maeku and Jonathan’s verse is the uchikoshi. The verse needs to be a spring verse, opening the way to verse #17, the blossom verse
.
My best wishes to everyone.
.
– Lorin
Congratulations Robert and Lorin!
–
in the cherry orchard
a tiger crouches
beneath fallen blossoms
–
cherry blossoms
lifted on the wind
we breathe so carelessly
–
fallen blossoms
flood the riverbank
with protest
–
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
*
blossoms
adding i’jam
to the hurried graffiti
*
What an interesting surprise this week! Thank you, Patricia, for finding creative solutions to add strength and timeliness to the renku before the cherry blossom verse. Congratulations to Robert and Lorin both!
Deep bow to Patricia. Rounds of applause for Robert and Lorin’s wonderful links. Wow, I love how the renku has moved!
•
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
•
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
•
do you hear
the koto heralding
the sakura?
••
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
•
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
•
she whispers
“the sakura is a sign
of good to come”
Truly humbled Patricia! Thank you! the selection and reasoning process is as always very helpful. I was particularly taken by your inclusion of both mine and Lorin’s verses.
And wow! The diversity from all my fellow contributors, you really must have been entertained and spoilt for choice for the new direction. I certainly had fun trying to guess where we would go next.
So many amazing voices still to choose from. Bring on the blossom verses.
Have fun everyone!
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
.
Robert Kingston
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
Lorin Ford
*
walking lightly
on hatsu hana
mother earth is pregnant
*
walking lightly
over hatsu hana
mother earth is pregnant
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
*
sipping away
at a cherry blossom
float
*
never ceasing to surprise me with her innovated wisdom and artistry; our sabaki, patricia! constructing this renku by employing the assets from two poems….and instinctively knowing where they shine the most!!!!!! kudos, kudos, kudos….patricia….bringing it to another level of learning.
.
thank you, to robert for bringing in that flash of art for our 15th verse:
.
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
.
Robert Kingston
and thank you to lorin for offering 2 memorable lines of your three-liner to our 16th (spring) verse:
.
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
.
Lorin Ford
“and thank you to lorin for offering 2 memorable lines of your three-liner to our 16th (spring) verse:”
.
I didn’t offer, Wendy. It’s been a complete surprise to find that 2-liner here this morning. And as far as I’m concerned, the balloon girl painted on the wall is no more a spring seasonal reference (or kigo) than your canned sardines were an autumn kigo.
.
but thanks for your kind words.
oh, lorin. how i knew there was going to be a problem here…..which is why i only posted one poem!
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
*
creating a necklace
from cherry blossoms
on a string
*
even at a distance
the scent
of cherry blossom
Congratulations Robert and Lorin and thank you Patricia for another educational and enjoyable week.
###########-
at some stage
a cherry bud aches
to blossom
WOW – fantastic choices, Patricia! And congrats to both Robert and Lorin, very nicely done! Thank you poets, for many inspiring verses 🙏🏾
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca
Robert Kingston
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall
Lorin Ford
*
a lawn chair
fluffing the tops
of pink trees
*
pop!
and pink petals
every which way
party in the yard
cherry blossoms provide
confetti
.
celebration
cherry blossoms provide
the confetti
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
*
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
*
more than cherry blossoms
blowin’
in this wind
*
🙂 works for me, Laurie.
scent of blossom lingers
as night pales
into dawn
hypnotised
by the mosaic
mask of Tezcatlipoca Robert Kingston
that balloon girl
on the West Bank wall Lorin Ford
*
jumping
as the cherry blossoms burst
from all sides
*
Congratulation to Lorin and Robert, well done to you both.
A great blend of north meets south, so to speak 🙂
Thanks, Carol. 🙂
Wow! As always, learning amazing new things about this form.
Both verses are wonderful–congratulations to Robert and Lorin! And many many thanks, Patricia, for the comments and selections and for picking out so many of my offerings. And thanks to the other contributors for putting up with my obsessive posting.
congrats to both Robert and Lorin !!
***
Patricia, I’ve participated in renku where the sabaki takes a verse that will be good later .. it was referred to as a “pocket” verse .. you’ve simply made “later” the next verse .. seems normal and appropriate and well chosen ☺
***
thank you, too, for pausing at one of my suggestions .. and for all the comments you provide for so many proposed links .. these help us learn .. and now to think about hanami .. hmmmm …