skip to Main Content

The Renku Sessions: Rendezvous – Week 14

renku_300

The Renku Sessions continue on The Haiku Foundation. I am Patricia Machmiller and I am honored to be your guide for an eighteen-verse renku, in which we will compose one verse per week until completion.

Hi, everybody. Another week in lock-down as some call it. We had a scare yesterday. My husband wasn’t feeling well. But he appears to be better today. We are hoping it was nothing serious. Everything feels so uncertain these days.

This week on my walk I came across the carcass of a dead sea lion washed up on the beach with four turkey vultures feeding on it. At my approach they flew off and remained aloft even though I moved away. I was hope to watch them return, but they were very shy. And then a sea gull landed. And farther back behind him the turkey vultures landed. Nobody moved for a while. Then the gull moved forward and started feeding. The turkey vultures hung back. Then another gull came and joined the first gull at the carcass. The first gull was not willing to share and kept trying to chase the other gull away. Finally, the turkey vultures cautiously approached and started feeding one by one, and more vultures came and pretty soon the gull was having a hard time getting near the carcass. But he was persistent, I must say. When I left, he was still pushing for his piece of the carcass.

Let’s turn now to choosing the next verse. I didn’t realize how tricky it would be to link to Pauline’s verse. There were really only two ways to link. One was through “way” and the other through “seals.” There were some great verses linking to the seals’ performance like this one of Wendy C. Bialek:

 

cool pleasure
[drum roll please] to my upper right
natsu no tsuki

 

or Barbara A. Taylor’s

 

dazzling us all
those moonlit sequins
on her summer kimona

 

or Autumn Noelle Hall’s

 

panem
et circenses
luna sub aestatem

 

or Clysta Seney’s

 

she exits the fair
under the summer moon
cotton candy in hand

 

or Peter Newton’s

 

the crowd’s crescendo
watching the homer
cross the moon

 

or Maxianne Berger’s

 

held there
in perfect balance
strawberry moon

 

I was not able to consider these because what links Pauline’s verse to the “senior tour group” verse was performance: that of the seals to that of the photobombing emu.

 

These are the verses that I did consider:

 

another round of
sumer is icumen in
for the solstice moon                              Autumn Noelle Hall

 

silent beads of water
on the body bags
melting in moonlight

*

shaving my legs
past bikini lines
for a moonlight dip

*

gnats’
pool reunion
on the moon                                                           Wendy C. Bialek

 

a cool breeze
as our funicular railway
climbs to the moon

*

still in our swimmers
we ride the funicular
railway to the moon

*

summer moonlight
slowly climbing
to the high dive platform

*

swimming solo
in the shark-proof pool
this summer moon

*

hanging out
with wet beach towels
the short night’s moon                                                 Lorin Ford

 

in the heat of night
another glacier calves
into the moonlit sea                                            Alison Woolpert

 

water up his nose
as he dives
for the sturgeon moon

*

they chase the summer
day moon across the bridge
to the beach                                                                 Laurie Greer

 

into moonlight
they debate the origins
of Gregorian chant

*

at the summer ball
her gravy legs look like clouds
in the moonlight

*

moonbeams
don’t just pick out
skinny dippers                                                       Robert Kingston

 

stalking slugs by
the light of a full
strawberry moon

*

the strawberry moon
prompts a prisoner
to plot an escape                                                            Kanjini Devi

 

on a road
to nowhere
splashed with moonlight

*

moonlight
through a tunnel wave
guides the midnight surfers                                            Carol Jones

 

no one here to see
my perfect headfirst dive
into the moon                                                           Kristen Lindquist

 

my cycle flight
in front of
the summer moon

*

a run-up
to the summer moon
my self-made wings                                                        Kiti Saarinen

 

at the muggy night rally
the moon seems stuck
in his hairspray

*

our sunburn sizzles
as we plunge into the shock
of a moonlit lake                                                             Judt Shrode

 

moonbeams
hurry as we prepare
for tomorrow’s picnic                                               Carmen Sterba

 

summer moon
lights the mountain path
to the temple                                                               Andrew Shimield

 

The final selection came down to these:

 

another round of
sumer is icumen in
for the solstice moon                            Autumn Noelle Hall

 

This verse appeals to me because it brings in an older version of English; Middle English can be considered to be a foreign language. The music would bring a nice ambience to the renku with its echo of “cuckoo, cuckoo” hovering over it. The link is “another round” to “this way.”

 

hanging out
with wet beach towels
the short night’s moon                               Lorin Ford

 

Lorin’s verse links to the seals, not in performance, but in the way they naturally are—aren’t they always “hanging out” together? And if they were elephant seals, the dominate male is called a beachmaster. Very clever.

 

into moonlight
they debate the origins
of Gregorian chant                                     Robert Kingston

 

Robert, I love this verse. I like it so much I would ignore the proper noun. In fact, the proper noun enhances the quality of the verse. My comment about “cool moonlight” was meant to be for this verse. Somehow my comment was misdirected and, therefore, misunderstood. This verse links beautifully to the previous verse’s opening “this way.” If you are seeking the “way” you often look to the origins of things. But it needs to be a summer link.

 

moonlight
through a tunnel wave
guides the midnight surfers                               Carol Jones

 

This verse also links to “this way”; the moonlight is guiding the surfers. Nice.

 

no one here to see
my perfect headfirst dive
into the moon                                        Kristen Lindquist

 

There’s a hint of performance here, but the strongest link is to the natural ability of the seal to dive. And it is a beautiful, poignant verse.

 

my cycle flight
in front of
the summer moon                                        Kiti Saarinen

 

Great reference to a favorite movie. It might be a bit of a performance, but the primary link is to a way of traveling.

 

at the muggy night rally
the moon seems stuck
in his hairspray                                          Judt Shrode

 

Here’s a unique link—using an alternate definition of seal. To seal something you’re going to need some sticky stuff.

 

summer moon
lights the mountain path
to the temple                                         Andrew Shimield

 

Andrew, what an elegant, simple verse linking “path” to “way.” It’s beautiful.

 

 

And now, for the final choice [drum roll, please]:

 

another round of
sumer is icumen in
for the solstice moon                            Autumn Noelle Hall

 

 

So here is our poem so far:

 

rendezvous —
snowshoes piled high
outside the sauna                              Sally Biggar

an antiphonal greeting
of one wolf to the others                  Mary Kendall

the jury still out
on gray
vs grey                                               Laurie Greer

a little half-
and-half in my tea                              M. R. Defibaugh

scarecrows and
moons are the best
listeners                                              Dan Campbell

at the autumn gates
who can hear me now                        Wendy C. Bialek

an opened sesame
seed packet
from India                                          Betty Shropshire

and as if by magic
they fall in love                                   Marion Clarke

like charmed quarks
their relationship
thrives on give and take                       Clysta Seney

a boomerang
when skillfully thrown returns             Kanjini Devi

the seniors’ tour group
photobombed
by an emu                                             Judt Shrode

“this way
to the performing seals”                        Pauline O’Carolan

another round of
sumer is icumen in
for the solstice moon                              Autumn Noelle Hall

 

 

We are coming up on the end of the renku—it will be here before we know it. I want to give you a notion of the ride ahead. We are at the peak of excitement on our trip down this renku river. We are at the rapids. The following three verses (14, 15, and 16) should go fast, like we are rushing quickly and adroitly through the rapids until we come to the waterfall, our glorious ending (verses 17 and 18).

So, with the above in mind, here are the instructions and considerations for our fourteenth verse. This verse is a summer verse. It should link to the thirteenth verse, but have no connection to the twelfth verse. The requirements for this verse are:

  • a two-line poem of fourteen syllables or less
  • this verse the summer verse.  Avoid the names of countries for a long while. Avoid references to the occult for one more verse, references to science subjects for two verses, and tools or small flying objects for three. No birds, old people, or photography for four verses. No more mammals except humans for the rest of the poem. No more celestial objects. Also, no flowers—we have a blossom verse coming up.
  • a single syntactical structure flowing over two lines.

Please enter your verses in the comments box, below. I will be reviewing these offers until midnight on Tuesday, May 26 (California time zone). On Thursday, May 28, there will be a new posting containing my selection for the fourteenth verse, some discussion of other appreciated verses, and instructions for composing the fifteenth verse.

Again, I hope you stay safe and healthy. Do take all precautions. And I hope you are enjoying the renku writing process. Keep up the good writing. The new challenge is writing a verse that flows quickly. Now is the time for clean writing that zips along. Lightness is the key here—lightness in tone and style.  The more you write the better the final renku will be. I look forward to seeing your work.

As always a thank you to John for his help in posting this.

I’d like to express my gratitude to all who have contributed; I especially appreciate the good will and kindness you show each other and me. Thanks to those who already have a verse and still are contributing. We are glad for your voices and your company.

Patricia

 

This Post Has 331 Comments

  1. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    a street person
    uncovers the darkness

  2. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    leaving marks where her words were
    where the sunshine was

  3. red sails in the sunset
    swallowtails on the sea

    .
    red sails in the sunset
    swallowtails of the sea

  4. I’m following up on the summer moon with the associative need for a mosquito net in some places.
    ***
    restless under
    the mosquito net
    ***
    I need a translation for
    mosquito net
    ***
    thoughts englut her
    under mosquito mesh
    ***
    I attempted an Old English version to follow up the Middle English. I might have made an error or two, but here are the websites I used as reference, if anyone else is as crazy as I am! lol
    *
    https://www.oldenglishtranslator.co.uk/
    *
    http://people.umass.edu/sharris/in/gram/GrammarBook/GramCases.html
    *
    módhord fretaþ hie
    under þæm myċġnett
    *
    Should translate as:
    *
    thoughts devour her
    under the mosquito net
    *
    Módhord is specifically “secret thoughts.”

    1. matt…
      i so much appreciate your continued participation and involvement, even after being included in the ongoing renku.
      your work and efforts here add great stimulation for me.

        1. I appreciate it, and I am glad to offer any stimulation I can! That’s my only intention since being included, inspire more verses—the only point of participating, to begin with, always a group effort. I know egos get in the way at times, but I read somewhere that even back in the day, people sometimes got in physical fights at renga parties over the rules, so all is healthy here lol.
          ***
          It’s fun translating haiku into languages you know nothing about, if not just a time-drain lol. You can accidentally stumble on better structures and sounds.

      1. Two good images here Mark, the first relating to an event,
        but the second an image that could been seen most days
        with people walking their dogs, and some owners get very heated
        when others don’t keep their pet on a lead these days, understandable.
        .
        mad dogs and Englishmen come to mind

  5. Quetzalcoatl
    rides the simmering wind
    *
    the summer flood
    left behind an oxbow lake
    *
    in a cloak of wind and
    a summer dress of cochineal
    *
    vines of jade green
    have overrun my winter dreams
    *
    a luna moth
    revisits my screen door

    1. lovely writing, again. the eye of a photographer/artist/nature lover is quite evident…..thank you again, Jonathan, for your special gifts.

    2. I particularly like the second for its flood element, which we see so often and out of season also a lovely descriptive shape.

  6. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon            Autumn Noelle Hall
    .
    in the deep tree shade
    she slips on mossy rocks
    .
    the copper family
    harmonizes heated plainsong
    .

      1. Thx Carol. The first thing I wrote, decided at last minute to submit. Re the other submission: Probably should have capitalized The Copper Family. Did not think of the slang term usage.

        1. I don’t think there is a need to capitalise copper, if you use the Latin name, I would think it would be a good idea to do so then.

  7. dining all fresco
    in pool noodle hats
    *
    yoginis on paddle boards
    practice sun salutations
    *

  8. patricia i have new questions for you:

    can you tell me if it is considered repetitive if i use the word “summer” in a verse that follows and verse which includes a word when translated also means summer?

    and is their a ref. book,
    you could suggest,
    that would answer this and questions like it?

    1. corrected: “a” not “and”

      if i use the word “summer” in a verse that follows a verse which includes a word when translated also means summer?

      1. another correction:
        *
        and is there a ref. book,
        you could suggest,
        that would answer this and questions like it?

    2. yes-I consider it repetitive. Especially in a follow-on verse. I did think about the fact that your verse many verses earlier with “autumn gates” had used the name of a season. Usually you only want to do that once in a renku. However, I thought that, in this case, summer was disguised enough in middle English and far away enough from your verse and, most importantly, the verse was good enough (i.e. had the energy required for this stage of the poem), that it overcame these other concerns.

      I don’t know of any reference book that gives info like this.

      1. thank you, patricia for explaining why….moving forward it is too soon to use “summer” again.
        *
        and i always understood, how choosing autumn’s verse was because it warranted breaking any rules and was far enough away from my verse, (just as it would have been, if robert’s verse had been corrected and included a summer kigo, his was so good….you would have waved…the proper name…to use it….and it actually enhanced the verse)

      2. Have a look for this one –
        .
        Haiku before Haiku – Steven D. Carter.
        .
        The author classifies each poem by season and identifies the season word when the season isn’t directly mentioned.
        It is a bit pricy, but a good read for the inquisitive.
        Have a read of the blurb, this could be of help for yourself and anyone else wanting to ‘up’ their verses. Good luck.

  9. “ i find it rude, and politically manipulative to berate a sabaki’s judgement….because one’s verse wasn’t picked. it flies a red flag and concerns me that there may be hidden agendas at work behind the smoke screens.” – Wendy C. Bialek
    .

    I’ll decline responding to Wendy C. Bialek’s false accusations and malicious insinuations, knowing that no sane adult who can read could be misled by them.
    .
    I will say though that I’m more than fed up with this extremely loud and shouty person’s imitation of a 9th grade monitor from hell (self-appointed, of course) in Patricia’s absence. Wendy, you simply take up too much room for my liking and I’ve found it at first irritating and now downright unpleasant.
    .
    Folks, I’ve done my best to engage with this renku and understand Patricia’s methods. I’m not the first to ever drop out of actually submitting verses and I’m not the first to scratch my head and wish something could be explained so I could understood.
    .
    There are other things going on in our lives. I came to a point where I submitted a lot of verses in a silly, scatter-gun way , realising I wasn’t in tune with the spirit of this particular renku, though I’d persisted in trying to be. I’ve read Patricia’s guidance each week and have mostly (but not always ) understood her reports on her resulting selections. For instance, I do not understand :
    .
    “The link is “another round” to “this way.” (P) in relation to Autumn’s “another round of…”.
    I mentioned this but I’ve had no explanatory response, from anyone. My inability to understand may be simply a case of “divided by a common language”.
    .
    the seniors’ tour group
    photobombed
    by an emu Judt Shrode
    .
    “this way
    to the performing seals” Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon Autumn Noelle Hall
    .
    There are no hidden agendas here. I simply would like to know, from Patricia preferably or from someone who understands, how, if “photobombing” in the uchikoshi is deemed to be a performance, “another round of” the famous medieval round that is so often, still, performed is not considered to be a performance. Patricia explicitly warned last week that any allusion to performance was verboten for this verse. I would also like to understand how “another round of” relates to “this way to…”.
    .
    If one can’t ask such questions and have them answered (without being subject to verbal abuse) then what’s the use of participating?
    .
    That’s it. That’s all it’s been. A request for some intelligent and knowledgeable help so I might understand. It’s not been a lack of appreciation of Autumn’s verse or a lack of understanding that a ” topic box” is ticked when a verse includes a ‘foreign language” (which was Chinese in old Japanese haikai-no renga). I’ve made no nasty threats and no childish demands such as the truly nasty Wendy C. has the impudence to attribute to me:
    .
    (….[i’m leaving because things aren’t going the way i want them to! )

    .

    I haven’t left. I’m still interested in this renku and in reading it as a whole when it’s finished, still interested in Patricia’s point of view, still interested in learning. I’ll still be checking in to read the rest of the verses as they’re selected. I won’t be submitting any further for this renku, that’s all.

    1. Though guilty of being a bit of a compulsive poster, I wonder if now is the right time to install a limit. I’ll leave it to our leader to confirm and agree on how many.
      Up till now I have not considered the effect my repetitive posting could have on an experienced player.
      In hind sight I wonder if us newbies could benefit from a few less verses and a bit more feedback on those verses from experience players.

      1. Well said, Robert. Bravo.
        As you have said it is indeed up to the sabaki, let’s see what happens as there have been a few of us that have agreed with this, but always good to have a heads up on this matter, now and again.

      2. Robert–It has been my experience that the renku writers who help the poem the most are those who write freely and uninhibitedly. If we were in a group in a room doing this, everyone would be helping each other improve their verses–a truly collaborative process. Renku is a group effort. And the more you contribute, the better.

        1. Thank you Patricia.
          Perhaps creating a workshop of this place is not the right thing after all.
          .
          Best wishes
          Rob

    2. Hi, Loren–you’ve asked two questions: 1) how did I not see this as a performance and 2) about the link.
      *
      Regarding the first–it struck me that the verse referred to a casual gathering where friends were around a picnic table, say, and singing. That’s not really a performance where all the attention is focused on the performer in my mind–a round is more like a musical game–a social harmonizer.
      *
      And regarding the link–I was using another meaning of the word (really a derivative) “round” as a direction as in “go ’round the bend” to link it to “way”. A stretch? Maybe . . .

      I hope you will continue to contribute to this renku–I think your comments have helped us all understand the process more deeply, and your verses have offered unique perspectives.

      1. Thank you so much, Patricia for feeling the energy in my verse and interpreting it in such a beautiful way. I am as honored to have written something that resonates with you as I am to have had the link selected.
        *
        I’ve been hesitant to add yet more thoughts about the non-performance aspect of singing in rounds, because I did not want to further dampen the renku spirit with additional argument. But since your picnic table gathering re-opens the topic, I just wanted to add a couple random associations with round-singing here.
        *
        Much like your casual gathering, I’ve participated in round singing at a Girl Scout campfire, as well as casual bonfire gatherings with college friends. I also taught my young children to sing rounds as we were making the long commute back and forth from Colorado to the Mississippi River side of Iowa to visit my parents (both of whom as long gone now). This followed my Dad’s example of how best to pass driving time with children in tow. Neither of these were performances, of course. Although my Dad added a pretty glorious tenor to the mix.
        *
        Other thoughts about round singing I had were: chain gangs and share croppers and slaves, all of whom sang rounds together to make doing back-breaking work under sweltering and frighteningly inhuman conditions bearable. Definitely not performance, but a way to endure by shouldering communal suffering together.
        *
        Finally, anyone who has ever been through basic military training has probably sung cadences in order to keep together with the other squad (or in my case, squadron) members. You may even have occasion to hear cadence if you ever drive up the hill to the Presidio in Monterey, where enlisted persons are running PT on a daily basis. These round-like cadences unify movement, build morale, help squad members run longer and farther than they might otherwise. I would generally not see them as performances (although the Marines did like to sing loudly about how wussy we airman were as they ran past our barracks at 4 am).
        *
        Thank you again for making room for my verse in your renku.
        *
        Autumn

      2. Patricia, thank you.
        .
        I appreciate your response and clarifications and I think (not completely sure) that I now understand your interpretation of ‘performance’. I can accept that you consider that “a round is more like a musical game–a social harmonizer” and whatever you, as sabaki, deem something is, that’s what we need to go by. But I should tell you that I personally don’t exclude such from “performance” and of course I had no way of knowing what you privately considered performance to be.
        .
        The particular round in Autumn’s verse is frequently performed. Also, (obviously, I would’ve thought) the lyrics in question were and still areintended to be performed as song. From the British Library:
        “The text to the right of the page gives instructions in Latin for its performance as a round, the cross above the first line marking the point at which each of the four main voices enters.”
        https://www.bl.uk/collection-items/sumer-is-icumen-in
        .
        I still can’t see how something so obvious can be overlooked and can only put it down perhaps to the old “divided by a common language” problem. What “performance” means might vary between the Englishes.
        .
        (Whether ‘sumer’ in the original referred to summer or spring is too academic an issue to consider here, Most of us relate “sumer” to summer, though perhaps wrongly, as it turns out.)
        .
        To my mind, along with rounds, many games and “social harmonizers” are performances and always have been. Charades, for instance. Karaoke. Other kinds of ‘performance’ are the displays of eg. toddlers’ temper tantrums. So now I understand, Patricia, that part of my problem was that I was not on the same page as you as to what constitutes performance and what doesn’t.
        .
        I admit that it would never have occurred to me that a round (song) might be considered some sort of simile to ” round ( ’round/around?) the bend” or “way to go” and therefore a link to “this way to…” in the previous verse. One does need to be on the same page with any sabaki and these public renku can sometimes make that difficult. It takes time and effort to know where someone else is coming from.
        .
        I want to be clear, though, that I truly appreciated Autumn’s verse. Theonly issue I mentioned was that since you’d deemed “photobombing” to be performance, in my view, Autumn’s verse seemed to return to uchikoshi. ( It still does, but there we differ and of course your word as sabaki is what counts.)
        .
        Thank you for your invitation to continue contributing but I simply cannot ignore the unpleasant and discouraging experience of being wrongfully accused and verbally abused by your loudest and least mindful participant. . . and that on top of having to wade through so many irrelevant, silly or “mutual admiration society” types of posts. I do not believe that the more posts and the more noise necessarily makes for the better renku. It certainly doesn’t make for the better renku experience for me, Besides, there are many (perhaps too many?) worthy contributors who are still persisting and who have yet to have a verse selected, with a very few verses to go. One less person competing for a verse spot at this stage might be a good thing.
        .
        I’ll follow, though, your selections each week, and look forward to reading your ‘wrap-up/ tomegaki‘. I may still learn something from these.

  10. in my area, becoming a hot spot…we are still not at the top of the curve for covid-19….
    yet there are many people who don’t acknowledge the virus was ever real….and continue to go about their lives as before pandemic. my husband and i are at risk….i have literally not left the house since it came to usa, the only nature i see is through my windows. people who choose to wear face masks….out here, in public….risk getting hurt…by those who don’t….it has become very political….when, it needn’t be….it is a medical emergency and an act of compassion for others….

    wears an umbrella in the summer
    rain but not a face mask

    *
    wears a parasol
    but not a face mask

    1. ooops!…don’t think this one qualifies(if grad…is considered to be early summer kigo…it needs to be mid- to late summer kigo to follow the solstice moon.

  11. the hemisphere turns
    when she handstands on the sand
    *
    hot roof – friendship
    grows fast forward
    *
    a hot day
    truth or dare
    *
    &&& Congratulations Autumn! Thanks Patricia for the comments on my verse, appreciated! &&&

  12. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    slapping myself
    instead of a mosquito

    1. I’m sure Issa himself would have experienced this, Andrew, how the feeling and the moment remains fresh even through it’s travels down the decades. Nice work

  13. the going rate
    of a beach front time share
    *
    cracking a fresh bottle
    of calamine lotion
    *
    invisible in middle age
    except to mosquitos
    *

    1. cracking a fresh bottle
      of calamine lotion
      .
      A great modern image of summer, Laurie.
      As we’re encouraged to find new things to add to a saijiki, when it comes to our own environment
      to portray a season, I think this is a good concrete image.

  14. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *

    in bright sunlight
    the rentaghost disappears

    1. another round of
      sumer is icumen in
      for the solstice moon
      *
      Autumn Noelle Hall
      *
      in the bright sun his salute
      sinks horizon ships
      *
      out in the bright sun
      her weasel words sink ships
      *
      wilting seamen honour the dead
      with a nine gun salute

  15. it takes three sparklers
    to write her name
    ########
    (A tribute to my dear wife – Zoila Maria Garcia Hernandez de Valenzuela)

  16. Thank you Patricia, for guiding us through another week. Congrats Autumn, for a unique verse. My head is spinning a bit from all the commentary so am just throwing in some summer experiences and hope something works. Here’s to summer!
    *
    a kickball knocks over
    the glass of wine
    *
    crochet mallets tap
    across the manicured lawn
    *
    sunglasses and an audio book
    saves the eyes
    *
    an ice cream truck
    jingles a tempting tune
    *
    one fine summer day
    she begins a diary
    *
    the neighbor’s mower
    drones on and on and on
    *
    a smoky barbeque
    attracts the bees
    *
    children squealing
    in the lawn sprinkler
    *
    writing names with sparklers
    in the night air
    *

    1. Nice ones, Debbie! I especially
      relate to the lawn mower drone–inescapable! And the “crochet” mallet sounds like the next artisanal summer pastime. Very crafty typo!

      1. Thank you Laurie, for your positive input , and for catching my typo. I am changing to:
        *
        croquet mallets tap
        across the manicured lawn
        *
        crochet needles click
        in the row of deck chairs
        *

        1. I like that–letting a typo lead to the next ku! But I come from a long line of handcrafters (though the talents skipped me) and crochet is an art of a hook; it’s knitting that has the clicking needles.

          1. Thank you, Laurie. I learned something new. You can tell I don’t crochet, but I do enjoy croquet! For accuracy I will change the verse to knitting:
            *
            knitting needles click
            in a row of deck chairs
            *

    1. Just one observation (not an opinion): I’ve noticed that more than once Patricia has mentioned that she had considered overriding a ‘rule’ if doing so would enhance the quality of the renku as a whole.

      1. yes! judt….i experienced john stevenson, too….saying and doing this as well!
        *
        sabaki have poetic / artist license…too….in order to build “their sculpture”
        *
        they aren’t required to be mind-readers….just readers of many verses…and a keen eye on esthetics and link and shift-ability….with the added bonus of seeing beyond….at the finished montage of images.
        all this and more…guided under the roof of personal/ instinctive/intuition.
        *
        i find it rude, and politically manipulative to berate a sabaki’s judgement….because one’s verse wasn’t picked. it flies a red flag and concerns me that there may be hidden agendas at work behind the smoke screens.

        1. Hi Wendy
          An interesting last paragraph.
          I haven’t read anyone berating anyone in this session. Just as you have and are doing, we are discussing the merits of a given verse, and also a personal preference, which is allowed, never once have I read a post which you have concerns about.
          .
          Just out of interest can you explain your reasoning of ‘politically manipulative’
          and how that works when berating the sabaki’s judgement?

          1. carol…
            because you asked….i will tell you my stand.
            just because you don’t see it now…..doesn’t mean you will never see it…. we are all learning and growing here.
            i’m all for discussions……a discussion, imo, does not include a “demand”….[i’m leaving because things aren’t going the way i want them to!]
            &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

            a true fisherman doesn’t stop fishing
            if he comes home w/o dinner!

          2. Wendy, I do see and understand what is going on here, that is why I partake, to learn, just like everyone else.
            .
            I spent a considerable length of time last night and read through the comments and nowhere could I find anyone making any demands for their verse to be chosen, or any suggestion of leaving because of this.
            Are you sure you have not misunderstood something that has been said.
            The words you have posted are quite strong, and not in the Renku spirit. Maybe it would be a good idea to mention the persons name so that person can illuminate your concerns.

  17. the basking coiled snake
    can still strike

    *

    the toad chorus
    alternates then overlaps

    *

    the straight ant line curves
    encircling the honey jar

    *

    methane-producing microbes
    even in a millipede?

  18. kilts instead of pants
    the year’s longest day
    ##############
    rodeo bullriders block
    suns on the year’s longest day

  19. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    .
    Town colours
    lattice the May pole
    .
    crashing waves make
    pies of sand castles

  20. keeping the bottle and returning the note
    to the sea
    *
    Revision
    *
    passing the tunes around
    from open car windows
    *

  21. Congrats Autumn! I love the idea of chanting to the moon.
    .
    another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon – Autumn Noelle Hall
    .
    .
    the noon sun’s flamboyant light
    in the three sister’s garden
    .
    squash and beans crossdress the maize
    in the three sisters garden
    .
    furrows mimic the topography of the scalp
    in the three sisters garden
    .
    tassels loose and ungathered
    in the three sisters garden
    .
    a kernel of truth planted in lashes
    in the three sisters garden
    .

    1. all your verses celebrate the uncurated beauty and wisdom of a three sister garden … thank you , will keep these in a special place.

    2. Edit: I just realized the first verse has a typo – should read:
      .
      the noon sun’s flamboyant light
      in the three sisters garden
      .
      (no apostrophe on sisters)

    3. tassels loose and un-gathered
      in the three sisters garden
      .
      An evocative read princess k and I suppose indirectly could be viewed as a ‘spring picture’ not relating to spring itself but images know as. But in a very delicate way.
      Really lovely image.

  22. Sorry I’ve missed a few wonderful verses. We’ve experienced some very unseasonably good weather for April and May here in Northern Ireland, which has made lockdown a lot easier. Here are some summer verses from me, just for fun. 🙂
    .
    my children chasing
    a stream of bubbles
    .
    our picnic shared
    with a line of ants
    .
    savouring a sample of mead
    at the agricultural show
    .
    what colour to choose
    for our buckets and spades?
    .
    a child in the crowd gasps
    at fireworks in the lake
    .
    delighted with the purchase
    of our new cotton dresses
    .
    crowds of kids watch
    as the Ferris wheel is built
    .
    outside the big top
    a clown polishes his shoes
    .
    counting the ladybirds
    on our best dresses
    .
    the last sax note lingers
    in the park bandstand
    .
    jazz night at the castle
    on our camping holiday

        1. Thank you, Robert. My mother was a great dressmaker (still is at 84!) and she made a lot of our clothes when we were young, so having a bought dress was a real treat!

      1. Thank you ,Kanijini! I always associate ladybirds with summer and the school holidays, although I wish I had a few in my garden at the minute, as all the summer bedding plants I bought are suffering from a greenfly infestation. 🙁

          1. Lovely sounds and visuals in your verses, Ingrid, you are obviously in touch with the natural world.
            Look forward to reading more of your verses.

  23. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon Autumn Noelle Hall

    ~

    again, the child’s sandcastle
    plundered by rough tides

    ~

    bridge, g & ts, damned mosquitoes
    on my sunny verandah

    ~

    fingers crossed, we dangle bare feet
    in the wishing fountain

    ~

    angry Shakespearean actors
    fight over sandals

    ~

    this longest day
    becomes over-heated

    ~

    onto the picnic table
    he slams down a royal flush

    ~

    on the nudist beach
    imbibing ice-cold beers

    ~~~

    1. I like the second verse, Barbara. What should be a relaxing time after a busy day disrupted by the mozzies.
      Maybe I’m looking to deep but I see a theatrical connection to mime with the flailing of arms to rid them away.

  24. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    the summer in the water
    in my tea

    1. A lovely reflection of summer in your tea. So many nice things to think of with this verse, Rob.
      One being a cream tea on a sunny afternoon, by a lake or a gentle flowing stream, maybe beneath a weeping willow 🙂

  25. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    .
    his cool demeanor shifts
    her mood to the dark side
    .
    in this long confinement
    weeds run amok
    .
    without interruptions
    walls stretch to the sea of clouds
    .
    row row row your boat
    into the calm morning
    .

      1. Thx Carol. Been thinking about your observation that THF renkus are getting longer—wondering if it might be related to internet links being included in the threads?

        1. Maybe, but I think it may have more to do with new people coming to this form of verse, and also no set amount of entries per poet recommendation per session, great fun, but can get over whelming when reading through, especially for us learners 🙂

  26. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    after the county dance
    sweaty faces

  27. Trying to thank everyone for your kind words and support in between baking bread for a very late breakfast. Apologies if I’ve missed anyone! My oven timer shows 1 minute and my stomach is growling, so I’ll just offer one last round of appreciation to all of you for riding the renku rapids with me this round! So pleased that my kooky spooky verse is the 13th…😉
    *
    ~Autumn

    sacrificing
    the firefly’s glowstone
    for her ring
    *
    My mom told me stories about she and her neighborhood pals doing this as girls. Talk about horrifying!!

    1. Oh yeah, two lines! Will she never learn?! Facepalm…🙄
      *
      sacrificing the firefly’s
      glowstone for her ring
      *
      ~Autumn

    2. Yes! It’s sticky. I could never actually do the dastardly deed, but I’d get another kid to do it and put it on my finger. But there was the nagging guilt.

  28. a sunburn on the hump
    of your Latin nose
    ***
    hopping on hot coals
    we get around the umbrellas
    **+
    behind the peephole of the door
    a blue striped sundress

  29. sweating away
    in the rotating paceline
    *
    his turn in the cool middle
    of the rotating paceline
    *

  30. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    just a sprinkle of sugar
    on the strawberries

  31. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    .
    she talks as if
    bleached jeans is a new thing
    .
    another ghost caught
    wearing a string vest in the sun
    .
    by the Tate we watch a man
    whipping bubbles in the sun
    .

      1. I like your verse and Robert’s.
        But they both repeat ‘another’
        Perhaps you could both amend

        1. Thanks Carol.
          And Andrew, thank you for the feed back.
          You could add a verse about the knotted handkerchief. 😉

          Take care.
          Rob

          1. That is a marvellous image, ‘the knotted handkerchief
            .
            a handkerchief covers
            that hole in the thatch

          2. Lol Carol
            .
            navigating the sun
            knotted corners of his hanky
            .
            Would like to have used handkerchief, but it has one too many syllables.

        2. Thanks Andrew, a tongue in cheek moment there when replying,
          .
          why do brits wear socks
          with their sandals
          .
          beats me, sunshine 🙂

          1. I attempted change by replacing another with: line, load, string, but none seem appropriate.
            So we’ll try
            .
            a ghost caught
            wearing a string vest In the sun
            .
            Thanks Andrew. Clearly a misfire! 🙂

  32. *
    ancient sounds
    are seared into souls

    *
    regenerating
    with solar on the side

    *
    Grand Solar Minimum
    changing grow zones

    *

  33. Lovely verse, Autumn!

    Verse 1:

    40° C
    on the longest day of the year

    Verse 2:

    can you buy friends
    with cardboard wine?

    Verse 3:

    difficult to keep the golf course
    green in a drought

    Verse 4:

    three scoops of icecream
    make too much mess

      1. Thank you, Kanjini. So interesting, isn’t it, to see where all of our different minds take us? Pauline

        1. Fascinating. Pauline! The enjoyment of collaboration enhanced by anticipation and delight of reading explanations/insights of verses picked for the renku 🙂

  34. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    a 737 contrail
    smudges the valley
    .
    the flint knapper points
    out a new direction
    .
    perfect chalk circles
    proscribe Memorial Day playtime
    .
    I hear haughty
    my daughter hears hotty
    .

        1. Glad you enjoyed these Rob. And, thank you for the link… Will Lord’s demo was fun to watch.

        2. Ha ha, I believe some of my verses don’t have a summer kigo, but I’m learning as I go along. I got somewhat carried away with my last two sun references, I forgot to ‘link’!

  35. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    as we gap before the run
    a pitcher of ice ready

    1. A wonderful verse spilling with suspense, Carmen! Is it ‘a single syntactical structure flowing over two lines’ ?

      1. Thank you, Devi,
        *
        as we gap before the run
        a pitcher of ice ready
        *
        a gap can be a noun: hiatus or interruption in time. I was playing with words more than usual.

        1. Thank you for clarifying, Carmen. I did read ‘gap’ as a verb, but I was referring to your verse as a whole. There seems to be a clear break at the end of L1. I’m still grappling with the meaning of syntactical.

    2. Carmen, I’m not sure what to suggest because I don’t know how to read this, so this is just an alert to you & anyone who might have a better clue than me.
      .
      You seem to be using ‘gap’ as a verb. Is it a typo or is ‘gap’ an action where you are? (I thought it might be just a spello and the word might be ‘gape’ but ‘gaping’ before the run doesn’t seem right either.

  36. pawns defeat kings
    on chessboards in the park
    #############
    swallowing one proves
    oysters have nightmares
    ############
    dusk landing
    on the pier

  37. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    on the cell block roof they toast
    his tax awareness
    .
    in the cooler the sound
    of his baseball
    .

      1. Ahhhh, Whitney Bay! I know it only from Vera and George Gently, but vicariously lovely!
        *
        I really like your ear of wheat turning to dust—the lack of harvest connects well to The Wicker Man.
        *I’m surprised you’ve not seen it—the original (which I borrowed on VHS while stationed overseas—I was only 5 when it released, after all!) is a remarkable film. Really more of a crime drama/suspense than horror (at least until the end). Worth the watch!
        Not sure about the remakes, as I’ve. It seen them.
        *
        Meant to thank you for the video link about the lens techniques used by classic painters. Great stuff!
        *
        ~Autumn

        1. Oops, just realized I was thinking of Whitley Bay in the detective dramas I mentioned. Sigh. So near…and yet so very far!

          1. Hi Autumn
            Just watched the 1973 trailer of the wicker man. The sound track sounds familiar and some of the scenes I’ve got vague recollection of. At age 11 I would suggest this would have been after our 9pm watershed, as it carried an age censorship of 15 . Reading wiki, it mentions the film won a best horror award in 78.

        1. That’s a wonderful comment Robert, thankyou, and for the link.
          Google is asking me to sign in, so I’ll do a search for this, I may have seen it, however I want to see what you saw in this verse.
          Thanks again Rob.

          1. Carol you do not need to sign in.
            The video is Kate Bush ! Wow.
            You could just read the lyrics.

          2. Thanks Rob, great lyrics and a lot can be read into them, especially the last two lines of the second stanza 🙂
            .
            Always interesting to read other peoples thoughts.
            I was thinking of the changes when Japan opened up to the western world.

          3. Perhaps the last two lines in the third stanza is more apt for me Carol.
            They say less is more! 🙂

      1. I like this a lot, too, Carol! It definitely connects to the pagan masks in The Wicker Man. But it also subtlety connects to the Covid masks, too.
        *
        I especially like “a rush of cool air,” as it conveys the relief we all feel when we finally get to take those masks off.
        *
        Hmmm, wonder if that doesn’t also evoke psychological masks…
        *
        Lots of potential meaning to this one!
        *
        ~Autumn

        1. Thankyou for this input, Autumn, I’m glad you mentioned ‘potential’ as masks have been widely used through many civilisations.
          .
          Psychological masks? I find this a very interesting concept as this can take us to many places of interest especially when it comes to forensics and the many varied paths of the human mind.

      2. Just read the guidelines, again, although this doesn’t mention the name of a country could be too close a call…?

    1. Thank you so much, Andrew! That Pound rendition is hysterical—I read it aloud to my husband, and we were both in stitches. I’d not come across it before—thanks so much for sharing!😂
      *
      ~Autumn

  38. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    the midlife crisis
    on hiatus at the beach
    *
    a glowing review
    for the shore-front time share
    *
    reporting the beach timeshare
    as fair to middling
    *

  39. cloud peaks on the horizon
    they strip the veggie garden
    .
    dormez vous
    in the sunny shady spot?

  40. a view of the ski mountain
    from water skis

    *

    picking strawberries
    while they’re ripe

  41. weighing the risk/reward
    of sidewalk food fairs
    *
    lottery ticket lands on pink
    melted baseball card gum

      1. Thanks, Wendy! I can barely even keep up with all of yours–but I’m continually amazed by your energy and imagination!

  42. a trophy in every hand
    just for joining baseball camp

    *
    the same drunken sailor
    itches for fight

    *
    the buzz of mosquito
    while the club swings

    *
    balls of hail roll off
    his tilted renaissance hat
    *
    hail the size of baseballs
    fill the picnic basket

  43. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    .
    free divers break
    the syllabic restraint
    .
    only navy can leave you drunk
    and refreshed at the same time

    1. Ignore this lot. No summer reference.
      .
      off on a tangent
      the runaway train
      hits the buffers

  44. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    .
    his drumroll leaves
    us grasping air
    .
    making a scissor gesture
    to his na nu na nu sound
    .
    cutting a tear through
    his na nu na nu vibe

  45. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall

    *
    more than summer songs
    shared in the church choir

    *

    1. This is a great connection, Kanjini! I like the use of “parched” as an oblique summer reference.
      *
      Your verse reminded me of an art installation we had here as part of our Green Box Arts Festival. A Canadian artist created a set of swings that played notes or arpeggios in a pentatonic scale. As folks would swing, whole chords would build and swell. AND, the very act of swinging created the electricity necessary to power both the sound generation and the lighted seat bottoms. It was very cool, very community oriented, and wheeeeeeeee—so fun!
      *
      https://www.thisiscolossal.com/2014/07/musical-light-swings/
      *
      ~Autumn

      1. Wow! Thanks for that link, Autumn. What a wonderful installation 🙂
        *
        ‘an oblique summer reference.’, I like that. As a student of Sangeetam, I enjoy singing raga-s in pentatonic scales.
        *
        I was wondering, after submitting this verse, if we are far away enough from ‘antiphonal greeting’ to use ‘repeating’?

  46. building another sand castle
    for his middle kingdom
    *
    jousting with the knights
    errant at the ren fest
    *
    sending their messages
    by sand to the sea
    *

    1. I really like the Jousting connection, Laurie! And “errant ren fest” is spot-on in these days of Corporate owned and run Ren Faires. You know you’ve strayed from the Medieval into the commercial when the bagpipers start playing Queen’s We Will Rock You! Next thing you know, it’s Starbucks on a Stick.
      *
      ~Autumn

    1. this is funny dan, i don’t know why but i find myself following the path of germs. LOL!!!!!

      .
      covered faces
      in the nudist colony

      1. Hi Wendy, I went to a nudist beach one time in the Netherlands and I was the only one there, what a disappointment!

  47. Congratulations, Autumn. Yours is a striking and clever verse that certainly ticks the boxes and has deservedly won a place in this renku.
    .
    But I don’t at all understand what Patricia might mean by “The link is “another round” to “this way to….” ” This way to…” is a direction, a kind of oral finger, pointing out which direction to go in, while ” a round” is a repetition, whether in singing, in card games or in joke telling, and has nothing whatsoever to do with directions. Intuitively, I find a ‘scent link’ instead, imagining , in the light of your verse, that the barker repeats his/her line (“This way to…”) over and over, as do round singers repeat lines.
    .
    In the verse of mine that made it onto Patricia’s shortlist this time, the link to seals was supposed to be via “wet “… a quality that both the captive, performing seals of the previous verse and the beach towels (hung out to dry on the line) have in common. The wet beach towels, at one remove from people who’ve used them (as the seals are at one remove y being in the previous verse), are evidence that people (adults and children) , on a hot night, have enjoyed the sea water as seals do in their natural environment. (Performing seals, I imagine, are in captivity in artificial environments.) The seals I’m most familiar with are the Australian fur seals in Port Philip Bay, and some sea lions, which bark.
    .
    https://bayfishntrips.com.au/news/seals-of-port-phillip-bay
    .
    There are also some Southern Elephant Seals in the Bay but I’m not familiar with them nor have I ever heard of a “beachmaster”, human or animal, so that certainly wasn’t a case of me being clever. The pun involving two meanings of “hanging out” was intended, though: in one sense the moon is personified, in the other it is not. The seals of the previous verse have gone, the people who used the beach towels are gone. The short night’s moon and the towels hang out together.
    .

    That some of my offered verses appeared on several of Patricia’s shortlists encouraged me to continue submitting verses for this renku and it’s been an interesting experience . . . (in keeping, I guess, with these “interesting times” we live in. . . ) This time, going perhaps too far over the top, I submitted a total of 26 verse offers, trying to win a place in this renku at last . It was absurdly like buying too many lottery tickets, but nobody can say I didn’t try. 🙂
    .

    1. Hi Lorin
      Enjoyed reading your comment, especially the deconstruction of your verse. I must admit I did not decipher all of it. Amazing!
      I too have submitted a lot of verses, many of these have been like poking a finger in the dark due to my inexperience. To which I appreciate the support and patience given by the leader and the experienced players such as yourself.
      Whilst I hope there is is still time for me to make it in, I appreciate that there are many fine players. Each submitting , in my experience deserved verses. I certainly don’t envy the leaders position at this time in my journey as In having to select from a vast number of in depth verses. I get tired with my own construction and submitting,
      I think if I don’t make it in (this being Patricia’s get out of jail card) it will be disappointing, but the experience gained will certainly be some comfort.
      Thank you for the images you’ve left us with, the Seals and the elephant seals. I wonder how many got my link of water seeping off the seals back, in my gravy legs verse, the starkness of the moon on the wet coat, fading as the warmth of dry land takes over. 🙂

      Take care
      Rob

      1. I agree, Robert, deconstruction is always an interesting read, sometimes it takes a bit of looking into, this is why I read more these days than post. As you have read, I did not get the link to your wonderful verses of ‘gravy legs’ however it did bring back memories of my mother’s stories of old, and I thank you for that 🙂
        .
        Even if we don’t have a place (as they say ‘its the taking part’) it certainly has been an experience as this session is like no other I have experienced, not that I’ve been adding my little ditty’s for a great length of time. If you already haven’t, take a look back at other sessions, I have downloaded some from the archive and also search for the same session on line to follow the sabaki’s comments as the session unfolds, and many aren’t as lengthy as this one. Maybe the rules are changing, but then again a new session a different sabaki. as always, onward.
        Take care,

        1. Pleased gravy legs gave you some pleasure Carole.
          I was not aware you could call the notes up on line. I am slowly learning how to navigate the archives on THF.
          If I get time over the weekend, I’ll have a go.
          Stay safe
          Rob

      2. Hi Robert,

        ” I certainly don’t envy the leaders position at this time in my journey as In having to select from a vast number of in depth verses.” – Robert
        .
        I certainly agree with you there. 🙂 There were many candidates that fitted the bill in general and did not commit any infringements of the “guidelines to what’s to be avoided” that Patricia gave.
        .
        And yet, much as I’m impressed by Autumn’s verse as a verse, to me it infringes, in this particular verse position, on the warning Patricia made about linking to the performance aspect of the photobombing emu (in the uchikoshi / last-but one). Patricia has actually repeated this warning in this weeks’ post and used several verses as examples:
        .
        “I was not able to consider these because what links Pauline’s verse to the “senior tour group” verse was performance: that of the seals to that of the photobombing emu.”- Patricia
        .
        So imagine my surprise when Autumn’s verse was selected. How can singing rounds NOT be a performance?!!! To me, that’s as plain as the nose on my face.
        .
        The photobombing emu was deemed a kind of performance, we have the valid link of the barker’s performing seals for the following verse and for the next verse Patricia’s warning against “performance” as the error of uchikoshi/ returning to last-but-one. Certain ku are listed this week as good candidates that, however, commit “uchikoshi”, so could not even be considered. (see main post)
        .
        Yet , by the same guidelines, Autumn’s verse (in itself quite brilliant, bringing in old language and an old-but-continuing tradition of singing rounds) quite clearly enacts a performance, and has been selected anyway. As they say in some parts of the USA, “go figure”.
        .
        I don’t think I can be blamed for being somewhat confused.
        .
        (I admit I didn’t get your gravy legs verse, but there have been so many verses and comments … it makes my head spin!)

        1. Hi, Lorin!
          *
          I just wanted to offer that, were we all face to face discussing this, I would have no problem withdrawing my verse in favor of any alternative the Sabaki and other group members felt was more appropriate. No matter the quality of the verse itself, if it’s not a good fit for the position in question, it doesn’t belong in the renku.
          *
          For my part, I didn’t understand the idea of an emu giving a performance. That feels like anthropomorphizing to me. Because it was a verse about a human tour group, it made complete sense to have the seniors interpret the emu’s action as deliberate photobombing. But what would the emu’s motivation be–maybe curiosity? Maybe just a random walk-through?
          *
          So, when I initially read the combo, I saw the “this way to the performing seals” as either 1) the seals linking to the emu (non-human to non-human) OR 2) the idea of attending a show linking to the idea of a taking a tour. Patricia’s “performance” connection was surprising to me, but I understand her reasoning behind that interpretation.
          *
          Then, because I saw the rounds of the Sumer song as a sort of field chant (or in the case of the film, a collective chant giving homage to the pagan gods of the harvest in the midst of a sacrificial offering), I didn’t consider it to be a performance, regardless of the various interpretations of the previous verses. Is a prayer a performance? What if a whole group of people recites a prayer simultaneously–would that be a performance? To me, the answer is no, especially where reverence is involved. What connected the verses to me was the idea of something “round” like a ball (which could be balancing on a seal’s nose or floating in the sky in the form of a summer moon). I chose to play on the word “round” by referencing a song which is most often sung that way–not as a performance, but as a prayer of acknowledgement and gratitude. And I placed the word “round” such that it might fall between the “ball” and the moon.
          *
          As I mentioned, I find what constitutes a proper vs. improper link very confusing, in part because I do not have much experience writing renku. (a perfect example: I just tried to write a link using a MayDay bonfire as a Spring verse–totally accurate in Beltane and other May Day festivals. Unfortunately, I discovered that the Japanese consider bonfires and all related fire-like things to be winter kigo. Sigh.). I really am trying to learn here–I am NOT trying to compete or jockey for position. I just do my best and posting when I can, trying to soak up as much of the renku rules in the process as possible. This is one reason why I read your offerings and your analysis with great interest.
          *
          Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reasoning re. why my verse may not work well. It is beneficial to all of us to dialogue about these concerns as they arise!
          *
          ~Autumn

          1. O dear…. I’ll write this and no more. Perhaps Patricia will clear things up.
            .
            I agree with you, Autumn:
            .
            “For my part, I didn’t understand the idea of an emu giving a performance. That feels like anthropomorphizing to me. Because it was a verse about a human tour group, it made complete sense to have the seniors interpret the emu’s action as deliberate photobombing. ” – Autumn
            .
            The verse is funny and light, it seems the emu is giving a performance to the speaker of the verse… the seniors, the narrator or whomever had a sense of humour and described the emu’s appearance in the photo as photobombing.
            .
            Bu it is photobombing that Patricia (rightly, I think) claimed to be a kind of performance, not primarily who or what is performing. This performance (photobombing) is what the next verse (performing seals) links to.
            .
            Your (excellent ) verse, features “another round of/ sumer is icumen…”. Each round is a performance of the song. There is no way of denying this. Singing, dancing, reciting poems etc. are performances and singing rounds are no exception. Caroling is performance. Many public rituals are types of performances, too, aren’t they? )
            .
            Whatever you think or I think he fact remains that Patricia claimed that the link between the emu verse and the seals verse was that of performance and warned all to avoid links to performance in the current verse. My point and my only point that’s relevant is that sabaki warned about avoiding performance for this verse because it links back to uchikoshi. We can only go by what sabaki prescribes and warns against, because, as in the old adage, “too many cooks spoil the broth”.
            .
            The issue here is that Patricia has selected your (excellent in itself) verse that flies in the face of her own prohibition. She may have been distracted or she may simply have been charmed by the high quality of your verse and/or by your quoting of old English words, (which may be a variation of ‘foreign’ in the sense that Japanese renku use some Chinese words, so perhaps that ticks a ‘topic’ box.)
            .
            Only Patricia can explain why she selected your verse despite having warned against returning to last-but-one via “performance” and even citing (above) some verse offers that “… I was not able to consider these because what links Pauline’s verse to the “senior tour group” verse was performance: that of the seals to that of the photobombing emu.” (Bolding, mine) Performance (of a traditional English round song) is also what links your verse to that “photo-bombing emu” verse. So while photobombing, seals doing whatever seals do when they’re trained to perform and singing rounds are different, all 3 are types of performance.
            .
            … as a ps… Autumn, that you first became familiar with the old English rounds song through a film is perhaps personally interesting but it isn’t part of your verse for readers. . . or linkers. The song has been around much, much longer than the film (or films) and would be more widely known. It is still performed. (I did see one of the film versions some many decades ago, but it’s the song itself I recalled when I read your verse…untainted by sort-of gothic horror 🙂
            .
            That’s it! (whew) Take care. I’ll be interested to see if Patricia has anything to say that might clarify things.

        2. Hi Lorin
          Thank you for clearing up some ambiguity in my thinking.
          As a newbie (I’m sure that shows, but I’ll repeat it to be clear) I am still grasping the form.
          I think you will agree there is so much to take in and I have barely started with the verse titles, let alone the intricacies of our beautiful language and the understanding behind its connectivity.
          If I can cover one more, what I consider to be an important point, then I’ll be happy to sit on the sideline and observe. Well at least until I have another question. 🙂
          In her selection process Patricia often mentions a verse that is flaunting a rule and explains why it remains in consideration. In some cases the verse is chosen and the explanation given. (Drumroll, Autumn’s verse)
          Given that I have not grasped the impact this has on experienced players, I wonder if you’d care to cover some of that ground. It does appear that other, if not all leaders use prerogative to shape the renku as they choose.
          Is it really a cardinal sin?
          What are the impact costs to the poem as a whole?
          .
          I hope this does not come across, as if I am in a particular corner. It is not intended that way. Just genuine interest in learning more.
          .
          Thank you for your insight and experience, without which I would be a step further back.
          .
          Take care
          Rob

          .

          1. Re. Lorin’s:
            *

            “ps… Autumn, that you first became familiar with the old English rounds song through a film is perhaps personally interesting but it isn’t part of your verse for readers. . . “
            *
            Understandable assumption to make, given my posts. However, I’d like to clarify that my first experience with Middle English rounds was singing them in the auditioned chamber choir in High School. Interestingly, we not only “performed” them in a concert and also offered them as prayer chants during mass at the director’s Episcopalian Church.
            *
            The song in question has many associations; mine for this verse being the solstice and the film.
            *
            Similarly, your “hunka hunka burning love” in the last renku could have referred back not only to Elvis, but to Hawaii where it was performed live, or to the Disney film and subsequent series Lilo and Stitch, or to Conan O Brian’s regular use of it as a crowd warm up for The Late Show.
            *
            To me, one of the beauties of renku is the myriad potential for multifaceted references to take the poem in unexpected directions.
            *
            I shared what inspired this verse for me at the time of its writing for fun and for the added possibilities it might offer to the color palette (not everything about summer is sunshine and roses).
            *
            For Robert, a sincere thank you for your gentle insights and wisdom here. I join you in hoping that Lorin will continue to participate and add her unique voice to the mix.

          2. “If I can cover one more, what I consider to be an important point, then I’ll be happy to sit on the sideline and observe. Well at least until I have another question. 🙂
            In her selection process Patricia often mentions a verse that is flaunting a rule and explains why it remains in consideration. In some cases the verse is chosen and the explanation given. (Drumroll, Autumn’s verse) ” – Robert
            .
            I can’t see where Patricia has indicated that Autumn’s verse flaunted any rule & then explained why it remained in consideration anyway. I’d have to go back over the past weeks to find if she’s done something like that before.
            .
            Once a verse is selected, it should remain, I believe.
            .
            But I don’t think having a conversation about process here while the renku is still in progress would be a good or a considerate thing, Robert. My intention has not been to undermine anyone or make things difficult, let alone someone who has agreed to be sabaki for such a public renku. . .
            .
            You’re welcome to email me privately : haikugourds@gmail.com
            .

            .

          3. Dear Lorin
            My apologies, I have over stated my point. I should not have used Autumn’s poem as an example. My intention was generic , not specific.
            .
            Kind regards
            Robert.

    2. Thank you so much for all your kind words, Lorin—much appreciated! Thank you for the link to the seals, too—so happy to see them hanging out on the gazebo; so sorry to see them stuck in our stupid netting….sigh.
      *
      What a great learning opportunity to read the intention behind your own verse! I particularly love the image of the moon and the beach towels hangin’ out! And I do appreciate all the thought that you put into your writing—layers and layers of possibility imbuing each verse. You’re a true craftsman (or would that be craftswoman? ☺️).
      *
      I have had a much harder time anticipating and understanding the linkage in this renku. It has generally taken me until the eleventh hour to come up with a verse or two of my own! I do find it fascinating to glimpse the very different ways in which each Sabaki—really, each poet—interprets things based on his or her own experience and understanding. I am of course delighted to have landed a verse; but the learning opportunity—and the chance to push my own thinking about these things— is the real prize here for me.
      *
      As such, I am so glad that you offered so many verses—and I hope that you will continue to do so! Each one is a chance for all of us to see the world and the creative connection to it through your unique lens.
      *
      Always a pleasure…
      *
      ~Autumn

      1. Hi Autumn, it’s a lovely and inspired verse, and quite original.
        .
        I can’t, however, understand Patricia’s selection of it given her deeming the ‘photo-bombing emu’ a kind of performance and warning us about ‘no linking to performance’ re uchikoshi for this verse. Rounds singing, carol singing, busking, karaoke. . . all are performances. If sabaki says “no performance”, “no proper names” or no anything else, then that should hold, imo, no matter how attractive a verse is in itself. (I may have missed something… or many things. From the beginning I’ve not felt quite at home with this renku, not quite part of the za. )
        .
        I love to hear rounds sung, and although I did long ago see ‘The Wicker Man’, when I read your verse I didn’t associate that film with the lovely old round song, and still don’t. The song and the rounds-singers were traditional long before film was invented.
        .
        I feel really silly about submitting so many verses. I had a very strong feeling that I’d have a verse selected this time or not at all, which is why I tried so many. There are only 5 spots left, so my dropping out will lessen the crowd by one, and it seems to have been a big and extra-competitive crowd this time, so maybe I’ll be giving someone else a little more elbow room. 🙂
        .

        1. Dear Lorin
          It saddens me to read that you are dropping out.
          I truly believe this is a wrong move.
          You have brought a lot to this renku, and without wanting to appear selfish, I am to a degree pleased that you have not had a verse selected, as we newbies are being gifted so much in your commentary. And I fear had you been selected early on you would not have stayed around.
          Please reconsider.
          Best
          Robert

          1. It would be a disadvantage for many of us who want to learn and understand, more fully, this form of verse.
            Your dialogue and verses have been a delight to read, and you certainly encouraged me, among other sabaki, in my early learning, without such help and guidance I do believe I would have left well alone.
            In this session I think we can credit our sabaki with doing exactly the same as there as so many new to this form, and it is not only exciting but addictive, I know the feel of having a verse selected, even if it didn’t quite fit the bill.
            Stay, you’re an inspiration, there’ll be other sessions, and you are no quitter.

  48. Beautiful verse, Autumn! Thank you, Patricia, for your enlightenment and encouragement.

    *

    cicadas all day long
    in a single tone hum

    *

    a bigtime spender buys
    those in the bar a brewski

    *

    our old electric fan
    whines back and forth

    *

    the graduate flings her cap
    into interdependence

    1. Many thanks, Alison! Wow, that whining fan takes me back…to sultry, mosquito-ridden midwestern summer nights spent radiating the heat of my own sunburned skin. Whew—thank goodness for thin, crisp mountain air!
      *
      ~Autumn

  49. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    .
    neighbors wave sparklers
    high above their fences
    .
    wind chimes call fans
    to the marble run races
    .
    gently down the stream
    they near the waterfall
    .

    1. This is me waving a sparkler back at you, Clysta! I haven’t held one in years (too worried about fire danger here in the high and dry Rockies) but I loved them as a kid. Great verse—sound and light links!
      *
      ~Autumn

  50. I too, was linking to ‘performance’ as I think of photo-bombing more as a prank, ha ha.

        1. patricia,
          i’m thinking it might need more to tease it into a summer verse….but i didn’t want to give it the energy…if “sails”
          didn’t make it…..thank you for letting me know that “sails”
          will pass. now i am motivated to find a way to work it.

          btw: when i saw your post to robert….requesting that his verse needed a summer kigo….and he picked the wrong one to correct…..i gave an audible gasp…and shared my disbelief with my husband…(had i had his email i would have sent him a message!)
          i’m thinking….that you might have already written out your comments…and picked his as the 13th verse ….and then you had to fish in the last moments for the next verse that caught your fancy….still a very beautiful verse.(autumn’s)
          *
          looking through sabaki’s glasses….wouldn’t “art” triumph over “logic” ?
          &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
          finally found the video where you read from one of my favourite poets. you did him good! i was touched with goosey bumps!
          &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
          too bad about the fire on the wharf!

        2. i can find back up arguments for this being complete…and this needing more help.

          red sails in the sunset
          it’s too hot to argue

  51. Congratulations Autumn and I hope your husband is feeling better Patricia
    ###########
    courting skills are perfected
    in barnlofts and hayrides
    ###########
    most castles are swept
    away by the tides

    1. Thank you, Dan! I like the astute observation of your (sand)castle verse—there is nothing we build here that Nature can’t reclaim. No wonder so many of us are out to get her…
      *
      ~Autumn

  52. *
    the memories in medieval
    walls and my hat

    *
    the hot clues of a
    civilization in decline

    *
    ancient languages
    do stir in DNA
    (not sure how to insert a summer reference here)

    *
    detectorists rejoice
    in their latest shiny find
    *

  53. patricia….firstly, hope your husband’s health stays strong.
    thank you, thank you, thank you!…. for another round of learning renku. reminding me of the overlap of linking when it comes to the whole meaning of verse…..(i usually focus and check on each word…and i forgot about the whole verse)
    *

    autumn…..congrats! great to see your verse included here, autumn. will try to see the wickerman soon! i have no idea yet….how to approach this one…..it may take me awhile.

    another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall

    1. Thank you, Wendy! Glad I could offer you a challenge!😉
      *
      Not sure if you have Netflix, but the original 1973 version of The Wickerman is streaming there right now. It’s also available on several other free streaming services (not sure how legit they are!).
      *
      One Rotten Tomatoes reviewer called it “quietly frightening.” It’s definitely one of those unforgettable films. Hope you get a chance to see it!
      *
      ~Autumn

      1. yes, we caught it last night! thank you!!!!! autumn, so much for turning me on to it. a wonderful nature film with great parallels for today’s world. hauntingly, unforgettable, for sure!

  54. Autumn, I really like that Middle English is in ☺ .. and now to follow that! let’s hope I don’t mess up on performativity, although I suspect I might anyway .. this is so tricky .. [sigh] .. Patricia, thanks for the leadership and explanations ..
    *
    a steady beat of tankards
    shakes the sidewalk bar
    *
    the sidewalk bar
    busy with pewter mugs
    *
    a guy in a tank top
    slurps up a yard of beer

    1. Thank you, Maxianne—your compliment made me chuckle (Middle English is “in”)!
      *
      I love the steady beat of those tankards—wonderful use of language in your verse, plus that is a great capture of village life which even harkens to the drumbeats in the Wickerman version of Sumer is Icumen In.
      *
      I’d join THAT drum circle! 😁
      *
      ~Autumn

  55. Congrats Autumn and thanks for the further explanation of your verse. Have not seen that movie. And, Patricia appreciation for selecting my verse. I missed the point of what to link to, so my link was by accident. Getting ready for the rapids.

  56. a summer something,
    eludes distinction.
    ******************
    ” summer in the city back
    a my neck get’n dirty and gritty
    ******************************
    pouring one more round
    of dandelion wine

  57. Thank you for including my verses, Patricia, and for your ongoing guidance. Good to know your husband is feeling better. I love hearing about Monterey, I used to enjoy walking down to the Fisherman’s Wharf:-)

    What an exciting time in the renku !

  58. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    all prequels and remakes
    at the seaside cinema
    *
    a steady diet of sequels
    at the beach b&b
    *

  59. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    .
    comparing grape cups
    at the stone henge museum

  60. Thank you so much, Patricia! I’m elated to see Middle English included in the renku, as well as to know how the broadly the concept of “foreign language” might be interpreted. Yay for another tool in the link-and-shift kit!! I also wanted to thank you for taking me back to Monterey, a place I was stationed for a breathtakingly beautiful year while studying Chinese Mandarin. Reading your travelogue, I can almost smell the sea air and hear those sea lions barking. Enjoy enjoy–and be well!!
    *
    Many of you may have followed the link to the very lovely renaissance rendition of Sumer is Icumen In, with its sweet refrain reminiscent of a cuckoo clock chiming–thanks for posting it, Wendy.
    *
    But–and mostly for the sake of what kind of thrill ride we might end up with, verse-wise–“…the peak of excitement on our trip down this renku river. We are at the rapids,” as Patricia puts it–I’d like to reference the link I had in mind when I wrote the verse. This is the rendition sung in the final scenes of the original 1973 version of the stunning must-see British classic horror film, The Wicker Man. For any of you who has NOT seen it, spoiler alert (as you can surmise from the stills what happens):
    *
    https://youtu.be/LCObZ6Kodi0
    *
    In my best Christopher Lee voice, “Bwoooooohahahahahhahahaha!!” Hope that produces some spine-tingling links (I’m counting on you, Robert and Carol!!).
    *
    ~Autumn

    1. I don’t know about anything spine chilling, but an exciting ride I’ll have a go at that 🙂
      .
      a safe bet
      on the carousel horses

      1. I’ve just read the lyrics, let’s see…
        .
        should have placed a ? at the end of the verse

    2. Sorry to let you down Autumn, the wicker man is one I’ve not watched. I attempted to read the book many years ago. It turned out to be One of those that did not grab me.

  61. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    a chorus
    of surf’s up
    *
    or just:
    *
    surf’s
    up!
    *

  62. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    wearing a bikini
    under the uniform
    *
    or if “bikini” is a name–
    *
    wearing a bathing suit
    under the work clothes
    *

  63. Congratulations, Autumn a smashing verse, well done 🙂
    .
    Thankyou, Patricia for considering my verse.
    .
    Onward, once again.

  64. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    zipping
    through the beach reading
    *

  65. another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    Autumn Noelle Hall
    *
    Elegant and beautiful–as your verses always are.
    Congratulations!

    *
    reading
    through the heat wave
    *
    reading up a storm
    while the thunder rumbles
    *

  66. Congratulations Autumn.
    A great verse to follow on with.
    .
    Thank you Patricia for considering mine. Had I gone away and come back to your comment tI would have clicked. It wasn’t the first verse I put up short of a summer connection. Lorin kindly pointed one out too.
    It’s great hearing about the goings on along your shoreline.
    Good luck everyone for the next verse.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back To Top