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The Renku Sessions: Rendezvous – Week 13

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The Renku Sessions continue on The Haiku Foundation. I am Patricia Machmiller and I am honored to be your guide for an eighteen-verse renku, in which we will compose one verse per week until completion.

Hello, Everyone. Well, another week and you have been busy. I have too. How can one be busy when sequestered? But somehow, I find there to be almost more deadlines than usual. And zoom meetings and poetry readings. Are you zooming a lot too? And then there was Mother’s Day with greetings and gifts to be sent and phone calls and text messages. My son came to do a six-foot away visit on the deck. So that was a lovely diversion. Oh, and I must tell you, I am sequestering on Monterey Bay—I’ve been here for almost a month, and for the whole time I have been looking through the telescope several times a day to see if I could see a whale. Didn’t see any—day after day—not a spout. And then a few days ago, there were spouts everywhere all day long. And two days ago, I walked up to the telescope and out of the water came a humpback—straight up—right before my eyes! What a sight! Next, he (or she) dived and I saw the tail. And then—he resurfaced, spouted, and breeched this time tail first! Half his body was out of the water; he came down slapping the water with his tail. He repeated this show at least 10 times—I lost count. It was serendipity; I am still full of wonder.

Now on to our poem. I did not get to answer Wendy’s question in a timely manner, but I did resist choosing verses that had old people in them as I thought they were too close to the “senior tour group.” There were also some verses that I like very much referring to Saturn’s rings, but because our next verse is going to have the moon in it, I had to pass on those. Here are the verses that stood out to me as candidates for Verse 12:

she loses her white gloves
at the zoom bridge game

*

a new cover
for Las Meninas

*

through the crowd
a rebus of eye heart eye queue

Robert Kingston

sprinklers spray the field
at the same time every day

Carmen Sterba

“hold on tight”
her claws on my wrist

Nancy Liddle

que te mantengas
por siempre joven

*

you’re so vain
you won’t be seen in a face mask

Wendy C. Bialek

impossible to see her
dancing in the brightness

Jonathon Alderfer

sometimes it’s easier
to believe in the devil

*

being the zookeeper’s
favorite has its perks

*

faces fade away
but her fragrance remains

Dan Campbell

“CAUTION — BULLDUST
for the NEXT 80 MILES”

*

what’s-his-name the flasher
will be airbrushed out

Lorin Ford

taking a break
from breaking news

Debbie Scheving

a towering crane teeters
as the jackhammer starts up

Clysta Seney

OMG,
ingesting bleach?

Alison Woolpert

what’s in that sandwich?
the focus of chatter

Barbara A. Taylor

chased
by an unruly mob

Mark Powderhill

it’s all eyes on
the ordinance officer

Autumn Noel Hall

masked passengers
side-eye my allergies

M. R. Defibaugh

her nest egg growing
with bitcoins

Ellen Compton

kitty’s tail in and out
of the zoom meeting

*

land protections lifted
without a Twitter

Liz Ann Winkler

‘guests, like fish begin to smell
after three days’

*

Greek soldiers creep
from the wooden horse

Andrew Shimield

from stay at home
to stay alert

Sally Biggar

“this way
to the performing seals”

*

they viewed the collection
with robbery in mind
*

does it really matter
if you’re black or white?

*

for encouraging violence
the juniors’ coach was sacked

Pauline O’Carolan

he followed her to school one day
and broke the teacher’s rule

Kiti Saarinen

reading through the night
by a long-necked lamp

*

suddenly feeling nekkid
without his bandanna

*

too tall to fold him-
self under the caution tape

Laurie Greer

 

And these are the verses that were the final candidates:

 

a new cover
for Las Meninas

Robert Kingston

I think this reference to Las Meninas, the painting of the Spanish royal family by Valázques is superb. The link is the group, in this case a family group. And the clever way the painter included the grandparents by having them reflected in the mirror echoes the unexpected appearance of the emu in the seniors’ photo. I would be tempted to overlook the use of a proper noun here, but I don’t quite understand the reference to “a new cover.”

 

through the crowd
a rebus of eye heart eye queue

Robert Kingston

This is a very interesting image which I confess I don’t get. But I like the language and the link of “crowd” to “group” works.

 

que te mantengas
por siempre joven

Wendy C. Bialek

Excellent verse, Wendy. It brings in a foreign language, it sounds beautiful, and it’s meaning “stay/forever young” is so fitting. But you already have a verse.

 

faces fade away
but her fragrance remains

Dan Campbell

Dan, what a lovely verse. It links well and it brings in summer. This verse could easily be a summer verse. You, too, already have a verse.

 

what’s-his-name the flasher
will be airbrushed out

Lorin Ford

This verse links to the photo. And has interesting language and a snarky attitude.

 
‘guests, like fish begin to smell
after three days’

Andrew Shimield

I like this quote and I think “guests” makes a good link to “group.”

Greek soldiers creep
from the wooden horse

Andrew Shimield

This has a more subtle link. If the emu appeared by photobombing, these soldiers are doing the opposite by sneakily making their intrusion. Very nice. But it uses a proper noun.

 

“this way
to the performing seals”

Pauline O’Carolan

Excellent, Pauline. You’ve linked to the performance aspect of photobombing. The expression in the voice of a carnival barker is a change-up in rhetoric and you brought in seals!

 

he followed her to school one day
and broke the teacher’s rule

Kiti Saarinen

I like this use of a snippet of a nursery rhyme. The nursery rhyme is about a lamb, but we can’t help read it as an emu in this context. This would continue the tongue-in-cheek joke of the previous verse.

 

 

Of these I have decided on Pauline’s verse:

“this way
to the performing seals”

 

 

So here is our poem so far:

 

rendezvous —
snowshoes piled high
outside the sauna                              Sally Biggar

an antiphonal greeting
of one wolf to the others                  Mary Kendall

the jury still out
on gray
vs grey                                               Laurie Greer

a little half-
and-half in my tea                              M. R. Defibaugh

scarecrows and
moons are the best
listeners                                              Dan Campbell

at the autumn gates
who can hear me now                        Wendy C. Bialek

an opened sesame
seed packet
from India                                          Betty Shropshire

and as if by magic
they fall in love                                   Marion Clarke

like charmed quarks
their relationship
thrives on give and take                       Clysta Seney

a boomerang
when skillfully thrown returns             Kanjini Devi

the seniors’ tour group
photobombed
by an emu                                             Judt Shrode

“this way
to the performing seals”                   Pauline O’Carolan

 

We are coming up on the end of the renku—it will be here before we know it. I want to give you a notion of the ride ahead. I’d like the next verse (13) to build in intensity and excitement like we are approaching the rapids in a river, then the three following verses (14, 15, and 16) should go fast, like we are rushing quickly through the rapids, and we come to the waterfall, our glorious ending (verses 17 and 18).

So, with the above in mind, here are the instructions and considerations for our thirteenth verse. This verse is a summer moon verse. It should link to the twelfth verse, but have no connection to the eleventh verse. The requirements for this verse are:

  • a three-line poem of seventeen syllables or less
  • this verse the summer moon verse.  Avoid proper names and seed-like things for one more verse; avoid the names of countries for a long while. Avoid references to the occult for two verses, references to science subjects for three verses, and tools or small flying objects for four. No birds, old people, or photography for five verses. No more mammals except humans for the rest of the poem.
  • a single syntactical structure flowing over three lines.

 

Please enter your verses in the comments box, below. I will be reviewing these offers until midnight on Tuesday, May 19 (California time zone). On Thursday, May 21, there will be a new posting containing my selection for the thirteenth verse, some discussion of other appreciated verses, and instructions for composing the fourteenth verse.

Again, I hope you stay safe and healthy. Do take all precautions. And I hope you are enjoying the renku writing process. Keep up the good writing. We need another high-energy verse. Now is the time for the wild, the hilarious, the outrageous.  The more you write the better the final renku will be. I look forward to seeing your work.

And thank you, John, for your help in posting this.

With gratitude to all who have contributed; and thanks to those who already have a verse and still are contributing. We are glad for your voices and your company.

Patricia

This Post Has 345 Comments

      1. Thanks for the link, Robert, I’ll be signing in to see that later this evening, looks a interesting piece.

          1. This series can be purchased as a box set, so I’ve done that.
            Thanks again, Robert 🙂

  1. koto music
    drifts over
    the moonlit kudzu

    a saucer
    of summer cream
    transits the Milky Way

    on the road home
    the high school baseball team
    moons the moon

    the moonlit ripples
    of ten thousand minnows
    blessing the river

    clouds are fickle
    but the summer moon
    is a constant friend

  2. this way
    to the performing seals”
    .
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    moonbeams
    don’t just pick out
    skinny dippers

    1. *noom is an online diet program.

      .
      not delighted
      by her summer moonshadow
      follows the noom

  3. “this way
    to the performing seals” – Pauline O’Carolan
    .

    hanging out
    with wet beach towels
    the short night’s moon
    .

    someone somersaults
    off the diving board
    into the moon
    .

    for opening night
    the midsummer moon
    arrives on cue
    .

  4. the clowns pirouette
    on the edge – the summer moon
    bounces on its string
    *
    slippery steps
    the summer moon hides
    anybody here?

  5. more moonlight
    than money in the banjo
    busker’s sombrero
    #########
    moons prefer
    baritone bullfrogs over
    bluegrass banjos

  6. .

    waiting for the moon

    this lone mosquito

    and i

    .

    drinking in the moonshine

    this lone mosquito and i

    slaphappy

    .

    after white lightning

    this lone mosquito sends up

    the thunder moon

    .

  7. not laughing
    at the skinhead’s summer haircut
    just the bouncing moonlight

  8. Only one verse this time.


    we tiptoe on the hot sand
    before plunging
    into the moonlit sea

  9. this way
    to the performing seals”
    .
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    in the spotlight
    the janitors
    last sweep

    1. this way
      to the performing seals”
      .
      Pauline O’Carolan
      .
      a tin lid
      echoes out
      from clanger moon

  10. sharks wear face masks
    from hammocks
    under the monsoon moon

    (this one is w/o mammal)

  11. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    another round of
    sumer is icumen in
    for the solstice moon
    *
    ~Autumn

        1. wonderful link….rob….love hearing about secret tools and research!
          thank you so much for sharing these secrets!!!!
          but robert, it has inspired poetry from me now…..so it is not limited to the visual artists…..though i consider poetry to also use visual cues.
          .
          by the way….i have been searching the video you mention where patricia reads haiku…..but with no success….do you have one you can list here????

          1. Hi Wendy,
            There are two parts to Hackney’s secrets, the second part covers the invention of photography in art and then compares A piece of Van Gogh to a piece from the 15th century as artists look back to life before glass.
            .
            Patricia reads as part of the Victor Ortiz Video on the “Haiku life series”
            I’m not sure of the path from the THF home page. It may be that it will be reposted shortly as some of the otherS are currently on a second viewing.
            Although I have had trouble viewing some of the videos to their ends, all that I have viewed have been exceptional.

        1. i posted the music link, thank you, kanjini, if this is the one you saw and
          rob posted the art link.

  12. “this way
    to the performing seals” – Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    swimming solo
    in the shark-proof pool
    this summer moon
    .
    each gin & tonic
    with a slice of the moon’s
    coolness
    .
    another summer moon
    washing in
    with the flotsam
    .
    through charred trees
    can it be the rising moon
    so red and huge?
    .

  13. rabbits appreciate
    how moonbeams light
    up my garden
    #####
    moon watching is
    therapeutic but no one
    mentions the side effects

  14. future earthlings
    will weep when the moon
    drifts out of sight
    #######
    earth bound aliens
    must miss moons with methane
    seas and diamond beaches

  15. at the rising of the moon
    the cicada song
    it fades
    *
    their engagement
    after a bicycle ride
    under the summer moon
    *
    such a bright moon
    hid the light
    of the fireflies

    1. all very lovely, angiola, the middle one will be good to submit for a love verse in another renku.

      1. clysta !!!!!
        thank you for reading and participating with my verse…..what a kind and fitting gesture to take the time to make this enhancing link.

  16. my cycle flight
    in front of
    the summer moon
    *
    in front of
    the summer moon
    my cycle flight

  17. &&&& Pauline, congrats! 🙂 Thank you Patricia for considering mine, appreciated! &&&& Congrats Andrew on your kukai haiku &&&&
    *
    ready to jump
    towards the summer moon
    my self-made wings
    *
    a run-up
    to the summer moon
    my self-made wings

  18. this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    cooling off
    with a cold beer
    under the moon

    1. Andrew,
      .
      congrats on your second place haiku (my mistake…confused you with another…who had a mention)

      not far from folk city where the young dylan hung out, was the gaslight cafe…where i first heard ritchie havens, patrick sky, dave von ronk….etc.
      if you don’t know dave; here is one of his more emotional performances…..i love it for the raw sound…..[a warning in advance for content lyrics….are sensitive/ adult]…..

        1. i just listened to his live youtube rendition of, “he was a friend of mine”.
          in the phil ochs tribute….fantastic!!!! and i see him giving picking lessons to his blue grass song, online, too!

  19. in this humidity
    the moon seems to melt
    the kids’ ice creams
    .
    tentatively
    on the tip of a wet nose
    summer’s first moon
    .
    slow and steady
    along the high wire
    tonight’s moon
    .
    in this humidity
    the moon appears to be
    sweating too
    .
    moon glow
    in the calm before
    the thunderstorm
    .
    shedding
    its regional names
    summer ‘s first moon
    .

    1. Wow, Lorin…only after posting mine did I see yours just before it. I even considered using ‘the moon appears’ instead of ‘the moon seems.’ Serendipity, or great minds? 🤔

      1. Now I see you also have ‘the moon seems.’ And humid/muggy…kind of amazing.

  20. this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *

    exploding spiders
    take over
    the moon lit lake

  21. this one may appeal to autumn noel hall because it is about 2020 high school grads:
    …………
    thousands of masks
    and square school caps
    but the moon shines on dumbo ears

    1. i wrote this verse after hearing a news item about how the students in lockdown wearing facemasks so often to protect their family at home or/strangers on the street….have developed protruding ears….from the straps of the masks…..then, practicing….wearing their graduation caps on top…..added fuel to the fire.
      so this is a tribute to these youths for doing good!
      [though, it may not have been apparent]

  22. this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    after dancing
    her gravy legs look like clouds
    in the moon light
    .
    at the summer ball
    her gravy legs look like clouds
    in the moonlight
    .
    in days of steam
    clouds billowed upwards
    over moonlit tracks

    1. blue moon
      stealing a syllable
      to make the cow float
      .
      Sorry my second verse above has one too many syllables.
      I’m working on it.

      1. Robert is referring to the war years, Judt, when ladies use browning to tan their legs and then draw a line down the back of their legs to give the illusion of wearing seamed stockings.
        Steam trains and moonlight, well, the way Robert has presented his words is almost a cinematic view of romantic goings on of the era 🙂

        1. Thank you, Carol! I couldn’t imagine…but that’s all I could find. Obviously, the verse went right over my head.
          And abject apologies, Robert!!!

        2. Thanks Carol for your words.Pleased you enjoyed the trip.
          No drama Judt.
          🙂

    1. we surprise dad
      on his day
      with a new moon

      *
      surprising both dads
      on their day
      with a new moon

    1. Alison, I really admire your link in this haiku .. very nice ..
      Maxianne

      1. Thank you, Maxianne, I’m just now getting back to reading the latest links. Wow, there are so many fine ones! This renku is swiftly flowing, and though I have no new links to add today, I’ll see you all on the other side of the “13th link Falls”.

  23. this year’s summer stock
    is a hit thanks to the moon’s
    guest appearance
    *

  24. the moonlight
    shines through her
    summer kimono
    ***
    perspiration
    on the face
    of the moon
    ***
    a bead of sweat
    across the face
    of the moon
    ***
    we still reach
    summer moonlight
    with regret
    ***
    the moonlight
    asks for more
    an encore

  25. moonbeams
    falling fast
    before June arrives
    .
    moonbeams
    falling fast
    before June bursts out

  26. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    ..
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    a window
    of moonbeams
    chase tomorrow

  27. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    .
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    moonbeams
    hurry as we prepare
    for tomorrow’s picnic

  28. pity planets
    with sick moons
    and wilted cornfields
    ########
    full moon
    flooding blackberries
    with light

    1. Does anyone know this picture? It isn’t me! No idea where it came from, but I promise I wasn’t trying to steal anyone’s identity.

      1. that is strange Laurie. it doesn’t show up in your reply. i always wondered how people get their picture in that box! maybe a seal did it ….

      2. Have you been zooming. Here they say scammers can infiltrate the zoom meeting. Not sure whether it opens a gate to personal data or accounts.

        1. Nope, no zooming. And sent from an ancient 4s phone with almost no memory left.
          The mysteries of the digital world…

          1. Could it be linked to the THF registry. Thought these photos originated from there.

  29. tumbling in the clear
    water ripples
    shimmers of moon

    *
    over the waterfall
    the gossamer glow
    of a spreading moonbow

      1. thanks….dan…..they are devine to watch with the naked eye/and heavenly captured on camera/video

        1. LOL!!!!!!! i just learned the meaning of “devine”
          .
          it says:
          adjective, noun, verb
          a frequent misspelling of divine.

    1. over the waterfall
      the gossamer glow
      of a floating moonbow

      .

      (another version)

  30. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    sleeping out
    at the rock festival
    under the moon
    *
    summer moon
    lights the mountain path
    to the temple
    *
    at the cricket match
    they end the day’s play
    by moonlight

        1. Ta, Rob, evening glory can be just as wonderful as morning glory, in relation to enjoying the moment, its just finding the right words 🙂
          .
          When I first started reading haiku I came across this little beauty-
          .
          I break my fast
          amidst the morning glory
          — Matsuo Basho
          Is he taking breakfast in the company of these flowers or enjoying his meal while admiring the dawn? A layered verse, indeed.
          Much to learn from the masters 🙂

          1. Quite right, Wendy, in large amounts, and harmful to the health of the person.

          2. As you say Carol, much can be learned from the masters.
            The fragrance could have had an added effect to his meal and /or vision.
            .
            Take care 🙂

          3. people unknowingly eat these seeds from store planting seed packets which are coated and can get them very.very sick.
            .
            as in basho’s poem
            these were picked from the virgin plant.

  31. Congrats Pauline! And happy to hear your whale watching was more than successful, Patricia. We are fortunate to have some whale activity up here in the Puget Sound.
    *
    on the closed beach
    we sit and watch
    the moon

      1. Removing one of two “the”.
        *
        on a closed beach
        bare moons run
        in the moonlight

  32. “this way
    to the performing seals” Pauline O’Carolan

    *

    fireflies trapped in a jar
    become invisible in
    waxing moonlight

    *

    under the Hay moon
    a legless frog
    slowly staggers

    *

    mesmerizing
    moonlit sequins
    on her hemp kimona

    *

    dazzling us all
    those moonlit sequins
    on her summer kimona

    1. with this heat
      oy vey under the moon
      may your smelt be well done
      *
      with this heat
      under an oy vey moon
      may your smelt be well done

  33. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    the beach master
    orders belly dancers
    under a strawberry moon
    .

      1. I agree Judt!
        Nice image Pauline.
        .
        .
        Strange, I typed this message here and it went to a later convo between you two.

  34. this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    under the moonlight
    an old tin bath
    filled with flowers

        1. i took a long route reading about the meanings and the history of ambitus — a new word for me and quite timely. lots of side benefits in a renku when housebound. very much like this verse.

          1. Pleased you had the time to explore ambitus Clysta. It is a new word to me too. I came upon it on my research into Gregorian chant.

      1. Hi, Robert–there’s no summer in this en-chant-ing verse. It could be “cool moonlight,” couldn’t it? Or ?

        1. Thank you Patricia!
          Your suggestion adds more of a surreal feel to the verse.
          .
          ambitus as in cool moonlight
          changes its tone
          on a hot night

          1. oops–somehow my comment, which was meant for your Gregorian chant verse, ended up posted to your arbitus verse. My apologies.

      1. this way
        to the performing seals”
        *
        Pauline O’Carolan
        .
        reaching new heights
        the rice fish
        shadows the moon
        .
        eclipses happen
        more frequent now
        rice fish are in space

  35. bagpipes and banjos
    sound even better
    beneath a full moon
    ########
    bagpipes and banjos
    sound even better
    on the moon

  36. *
    the children
    in detention
    decorate a rose moon
    *
    stalking slugs by
    the light of a full
    strawberry moon
    *
    the strawberry moon
    prompts a prisoner
    to plot an escape
    *
    the sailor
    serenades to a
    rising rose moon
    *
    a runaway dresses
    the raspberry moon
    with rainbows
    *
    an activist
    draws attention
    to the raspberry moon
    *
    a recital
    at twilight amuses
    the thunder moon
    *
    a full
    hay moon party
    goes viral
    *
    the dress rehearsal
    goes swimmingly well
    before a sturgeon moon
    *
    tarakihi
    doing the dance
    under a sturgeon moon

    (tarakihi – a common edible sea fish of New Zealand waters)

    1. Kanjini — I feel like I’ve been swept around the world in ten verses. Think I’ll go again.

      1. Ha ha, I hope that’s a compliment, Clysta. I have one that I didn’t include due to ‘no references to occult’.

        *
        a magician
        misdirects with
        the mead moon

    2. I’ve just realised that all these names for moons (‘Strawberry Moon’ and etc.) are out for this verse because they’re proper names. Using lower case doesn’t change the fact that they are such.
      .
      “…this verse the summer moon verse. Avoid proper names …” – Patricia

      1. True. Lorin is right. I said “Avoid proper names . . .” meaning that would be desirable if at all possible, but for the sake of the renku, I might have to relax my standard. We need a summer moon in this verse. These are our choices:

        “summer moon” and as Lorin has pointed out, we already have “autumn gate.”

        Named moons, such as Strawberry Moon or Hay Moon, etc.

        Summer moon references used by the Japanese, such as cool moon or tsukimizu tsuki (month of the rainy season when there is no moon (June)) or natsu no tsuki (summer moon).

        There is the option of using a second summer seasonal reference to indicate the verse is a summer verse and leaving the moon unmodified. In order for this option to work well, the summer seasonal reference should appear in the verse before the moon appears; otherwise the reader at first misreads the moon, and therefore the verse, as autumn and then has to adjust his/her perception when the summer reference appears.

  37. they chase the summer
    day moon across the bridge
    to the beach
    *
    Unless bridge is too close to gate?
    *
    chasing the summer
    day moon down
    to the beach
    *

  38. no one here to see
    my perfect headfirst dive
    into the moon

    *

    lakeside
    raising my drink
    to two moons

    1. love the first one, kristen…best!
      the second one….do you need to say,”two”? how about “the” instead? because the “s” in moons already tells me you have more than one moon.

    2. I especially like the first one! I’m wondering about ‘headfirst,’ though. In my mind, ‘dive’ means headfirst. Anything else would be a jump or a fall, etc. I feel that the verse would be cleaner without it, like that perfect dive that sliced the moon.

    3. judt….i agree it would make it cleaner…..but sacrifice the visual.
      .
      but i love the interaction of the image i see…the diver’s head (like an arrow) reaching the target of the head/face of the moon.
      it is like she is proud of two accomplishes….going in headfirst “and” hitting a specific target. (reaching two goals)

      1. Perhaps, but in my reading it’s redundant. We agree it’s a very nice verse!

  39. his monkish demeanor
    sent to blazes
    by the August moon
    *
    Or
    his monkish demeanor
    gone to blazes
    in the August moonlight
    *

    1. Maybe I meant this:
      *
      the August moon
      sets up false expectations
      of monkish behavior
      *

  40. this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    short night
    his last dime carries the moon
    into his pocket

      1. A lovely image, Robert. Reminds me of the song ‘catch a falling star’
        Showing my age, now 🙂

        1. Thank you Carol.
          I remember that song. 🙂
          Let’s just those that don’t know it, haven’t lived. 🙂

  41. the drama of his stunt
    heightened
    by the thunder moon
    *
    fireworks ending
    in a blast
    of the thunder moon
    *
    Or too close to bomb?

  42. full moon
    resting on a
    haystack
    ########
    full moon
    following fleeing
    refugees

  43. this sounds better to me:

    melting in moonlight
    silent beads of water
    on the body bags


    so…..if this can be considered as a non-breaking verse….
    this is my preferred verse, preferred order and preferred meaning.
    however…both beads of water, and body bags can
    “melt” [even as a memory]

  44. this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    the court jester
    usurps the dazzled samurai
    with his moon haiku
    .
    the court jester
    usurps the dazzled samurai
    with his moon walk
    .
    through sun and moon
    I keep the same smile
    for humanities sake

      1. What the butler saw is the known term. A saw being a tool I believe rules out the use of the word.
        Thoughts please.
        .
        not even the moon knows
        what the butter saw
        at the summer fair

        1. Rob,

          you could avoid any problems….and use “sees” or “has seen”
          .
          however, you ask an interesting question about usage and context in renku….if there are exceptions when the context is different…..that is something that i would like to hear more about too….and hear what patricia has to say on it.

          1. Hi Wendy. Thank you. My first verse uses “see”
            Perhaps I no need worry. Using “saw” after all.
            .
            Thank you Carol.

          2. “saw” as Robert was using it is not a tool; it’s the past tense of the verb see.

          3. Thanks Patricia for putting me right, on the verb and noun error, must remember to check more carefully with the lists I use.

          1. i don’t agree, carol.
            and i do believe, rob’s concerns has to do with patricia’s rules for this week….about not having small machines.

        2. Just noticed the typos. Should read butler and not butter as is printed.
          Should have gone to spec savers, could have saved the ink. ;-D

        3. not even the moon knows
          what the butler saw
          at the summer fair
          .
          “Rob,

          you could avoid any problems….and use “sees” or “has seen” ” – W
          .
          What are the problems you hint at, Wendy? What do you find is wrong with “saw”, in context?

          1. this got all jumbled-up
            i was responding to rob’s typo “butter”.
            i don’t have any problem with “saw”
            lorin.

            it was rob’s question of if it could be confused with the machine saw….which is a no-no now with patricia’s rule.

    1. rob….
      these are fun pieces….
      .
      but i would like to comment further on clarifications:
      moon verses, i believe, need to refer to a real moon…a reflected moon or the light coming from a real moon, (or covered…or absent)

      “moon walk” can refer to a dance,,,but by itself, may not be enough to qualify….same with “moon haiku” (not a real moon)
      .
      “sun” is not a summer kigo…..it can be present in all seasons.

  45. Congratulations, Pauline! I like the way that this verse can read either as direction, or misdirection. Seems a fitting capture of our leadership circus of late…
    *
    Thank you, Patricia, for including my verse among your mentions! I realized upon reading it in the context of the lineup that I’d managed to misspell my intended word, which was “ordnance.” It should have read “ordnance officer” (as in the bomb squad) rather than “ordinance officer” (as in the rules enforcer). I’m guessing you understood my intention, nonetheless.
    *
    I had a thought/question about the word “senior” in Judt’s verse: is it possible we could have interpreted the verse as referring to High School seniors instead? Maybe on a senior trip abroad? The use of the modern colloquialism “photobombed” might even support that more youthful angle. If that were the case, then would potential follow-on verses including details normally affiliated with senior citizens have constituted a departure/shift from Judt’s verse, rather than a too-close connection? Or do you, as Sabaki, have to consider multiple possible interpretations of any given word and try not to overlap any of them? Just curious…
    *
    Not a critique–I agree that the senior citizen interpretation is the more humorous and so moves the renku in a punchier direction. Just trying to get to the nitty-gritty of link and shift here! Advance thanks for any insights you might care to share!!
    *
    “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    panem
    et circenses
    luna sub aestatem
    *
    Latin for:
    *
    bread
    and circuses
    beneath a summer moon
    *
    ~Autumn Noelle Hall

    1. Wow, Autumn–You opened my eyes to a different interpretation of Judt’s verse. If I had seen what you saw, I would have considered any verse that resolved the question to be a possible follow-on verse. If we had been writing this altogether in a room somewhere, someone like you would have pointed out this other interpretation that I missed and the whole course of the renku could have changed. The river can flow in many directions . . . I do like how Pauline’s verse is working, however . . .

    2. autumn,
      i could see how it could possibly be seen as a senior high school trip…though…not because of your reasoning…..i know many seniors….who use and know the “photobombed” word for along time.

    3. The use of “seniors” as referring to high school students is interesting, Autumn, but to me that usage would most likely apply within the school community whereas “seniors” (referring to older people) applies in the wider community. We have “seniors cards” from State governments which allow certain discounts and privileges to those over 60. . . I don’t know about the USA.
      .

    4. Yes, that occurred to me too, Autumn. But I hoped it would be taken as referring to elderly people. In my culture (white American), we oldsters seem to make many situations comic/more comic. C’est la vie.

      1. Thank you everyone for chiming in on this–much appreciated! I’m mostly interested in understanding how exactly we have to look at words with more than one potential meaning when it comes to connecting via link/shift. So, for example, if someone used the word navy in a verse, would we need to be concerned that both turquoise and army would be too close a connection to allow the necessary shift? What about the word gators? Probably goes without saying that crocodiles would be too close. But what about mukluks or wellies? After all, the word gator sounds exactly like the word gaiter, for a kind of rain boot. If I were to throw a punch in a verse, even a well deserved kick probably could not follow. But could a grog?? And what if I’d used a left hook instead? Could we still connect with knit, or would that be too close to crochet?
        *
        If it is dependent upon the interpretation of the word in the selected verse, then whose interpretation? The writer’s or the sabaki’s–or maybe both?
        *
        We’re currently working on a “summer moon” verse, but we cannot use the word “summer” because it links too closely to “autumn” in Wendy’s verse above. But does that apply to words for summer in other languages–like my Latin, for example? Is the linkage about meaning in this case (so anything that translates as “summer” would be ruled out)? Or does the use of a foreign language (or a dead one!) constitute shift?
        *
        It seems the game gets much trickier the harder one thinks about it…
        *
        ~Autumn
        *
        P.S. YAY for Senior discounts–some places offer those in the USA, too. Yay for savvy seniors familiar with the latest lingo–I don’t think any of my friends in their 70’s would have clocked photobombed, but that could be because they’re not on social media. Finally, yay for being able to chuckle at ourselves, no matter what our age (although boo for this youth culture of ours laughing off our wisdom keepers, which doesn’t serve any of us well).

        1. A good read, Autumn. I believe in some sessions the close linkage you have mentioned is observed, but this I would think would all depend on the skill level of the players, and also the strictness of the rules set out by the sabaki.
          People who really have the grasp of this genre have their own private sessions, now that would be something to read. maybe one day I’ll have an invitation to join, But not in the near future methinks 🙂
          .
          There was talk about seniors, in the UK, being means tested before they could be handed out a bus and train pass. After this pandemic is over I can only imaging a lot more will be clawed back.
          I agree with you bracketed words, but hasn’t it always been the way of things, no matter how much wisdom we are given or were given we still had to do it our way and (hopefully) learn by our own mistakes.

          1. Hi, Carol–thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I hope that invitation is engraved and offered on a silver platter when it finally arrives! ; )
            *
            Watching the disregard for our elders throughout this epidemic has been both horrifying and shame-inducing for me. The idea than anyone is disposable, or that older citizens are “no longer productive,” is as absurd as it is abhorrent. Once again, humanity is being offered an opportunity to rise; and once again, we are collectively sinking.
            *
            Re. …”hasn’t it always been the way of things, no matter how much wisdom we are given or were given we still had to do it our way and (hopefully) learn by our own mistakes”
            *
            I think that may be sadly true in our stubbornly individualist “Western” culture (although there are still scattered examples of apprenticeships and other non-traditional arrangements for passing knowledge from the most experienced to the least). But there are many instances within various indigenous cultures of great deference to and respect for elders. Particularly among American Indian Tribes, elders are still regarded as wisdom keepers, as well as reservoirs of the People’s stories and language, too.
            *
            Most of my current friends are older than me by decades. Even when I was a kid, I volunteered at nursing homes and sat listening to my neighbors (who were all retired) telling stories of farm life and the war/s. My Roots and Shoots group (which I founded and ran at my girls’ elementary school) volunteered at a nursing home, too–we made crafts together out of recycled materials and brought books to read and board games to play with the residents.
            *
            While I certainly do question and push back (generally in order to learn where the edges of things are and to see whether they are expandable), I have always given great credence to my elders. I listen and watch very carefully to see where their footsteps fall on the path ahead of me. More than once, whether by following or avoiding them, the practice has kept me from getting lost in the woods, so to speak.
            *
            ~Autumn

          2. Hi Autumn
            As always your reply is a pleasure to read.
            I must say, here, in the valley I have only witnessed a little inconsiderable behaviour by the younger generation, gathering on their bikes on the single track road, and the older members with either their grandchildren or children having to ask them to move on.
            I know what you mean when mentioning the older generation as being non productive and so easily disregarded, and yes they should be treasured for their knowledge, even in this modern world where people pushing buttons earn more than those that physically graft, they can still see the ‘bumps’ in the road ahead, everything we are doing is the same, we’re just doing it a different way, and sadly more of it in respect of buying and selling in this ‘I want it now, world’
            How often have we heard ‘it wasn’t like this in my younger days’ but it was wasn’t it, we only have to look back in history, and this is why we should listen and then think before taking an action.
            Autumn, this is a marvellous conversation, I have to get to work, now, (never keep a customer waiting)
            Not the most polite way to end a conversation, but hopefully we will chat again 🙂

    1. whoopsy….must get rid of the break:

      .
      silent beads of water
      on the body bags
      melting in moonlight

      1. “whoopsy….must get rid of the break: ” – W
        .
        Whether your subject comes in the first line or the second, both are sentences and not “broken” (apart from line breaks, of course) What might be more to the point is what it is you intend to be melting in the moonlight, the “beads of water” as in your first version or “the body bags” as in your revised version.
        .
        I wonder if changing from “beads of water ” melting to “body bags” melting is what you really want?

        1. However, just in case there was a hint concealed in your post, Wendy, I’ll switch some of mine around as well. I’ve noticed that some English-speakers consider that the subject, in renku verses, must always come first and the small pause created otherwise is considered suspiciously close to a cut or break and therefore a mistake. (I disagree but it’s not my call)
          .
          In view of that and just in case, considering all, these possibilities instead:
          .
          “this way
          to the performing seals” Pauline O’Carolan
          .
          1.
          .
          caught in a crab’s claws
          the moon
          in parenthesis
          .
          or 1a.
          .
          the moon
          caught in a crab’s claws
          in parenthesis
          .
          2.
          .
          caught
          in an orb weaver’s web
          tonight’s moon
          .
          2a.
          .
          tonight’s moon
          caught
          in an orb weaver’s web
          .
          3.
          .
          tonight’s moon
          seems to want to join
          the Morris dancers
          .
          4.
          .
          tonight’s moon
          lighting the way
          for mosquitoes
          .
          5.
          .
          a cool breeze
          as our funicular railway
          climbs to the moon
          .
          6.
          .
          still in our swimmers
          we ride the funicular
          railway to the moon
          .
          6a.
          .
          we ride the funicular
          railway to the moon
          still in our swimmers
          .
          7.
          .
          tonight’s moon
          seems to admire itself
          in clear water
          .
          8.
          .
          after midnight
          the moon joins the big girls
          swimming nude
          .
          8a.
          .
          the moon
          joins the big girls swimming nude
          after midnight
          .
          9.
          .
          even the shy girls
          stark naked in the pool
          with the moon
          .
          10.
          .
          tonight’s moon
          balanced
          on an iris bud
          .
          11.
          .
          floating along
          with the duckweed
          tonight’s moon
          .
          11a.
          .
          tonight’s moon
          floating along
          with the duckweed
          .
          12.
          moonlight
          slowly climbing
          to the high dive platform
          .

        2. lorin,
          thanks for your sharing these comments….i welcome your comments.

          i really like the first one i wrote best!
          even though both can “melt”
          ….
          i am not always, 100% sure….if every verse i write can be read w/o breaks.
          i am more sure…when it does break.

          1. It’s impossible to be sure, Wendy, simply because whether a pause is a break (or a cut) is an issue not agreed upon by everyone acting as sabaki. It’s easy to know a hokku (in English) It has a clear cut. While no other renku verse may have a cut (no other verse can be hokku-like) reading published and even prize-winning renku shows that there can be degrees of “pause” or “turn” (but never , apart from the hokku, a “cut” or “break”). It’s up for interpretation by each sabaki.

          2. thanks for those words…
            maybe i will relax more….and let it be judged by the sabaki.

    2. melting in moonlight
      silent beads of water
      on the body bags


      if this can be considered as a non-breaking verse….
      this is my preferred verse, preferred order and preferred meaning.
      however…both beads of water, and body bags can
      “melt” [even as a memory]

  46. “this way
    to the performing seals” Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    1.
    caught in a crab’s claws
    the moon
    in parenthesis
    .
    2.
    caught
    in an orb weaver’s web
    tonight’s moon
    .
    3.
    tonight’s moon
    seems to want to join
    the Morris dancers
    .
    4.
    tonight’s moon
    lighting the way
    for mosquitoes
    .
    5.
    a cool breeze
    as our funicular railway
    climbs to the moon
    .
    6.
    still in our swimmers
    we ride the funicular
    railway to the moon
    .
    7.
    tonight’s moon
    seems to admire itself
    in clear water
    .
    8.
    after midnight
    the moon joins the big girls
    swimming nude
    .
    9.
    even the shy girls
    stark naked in the pool
    with the moon
    .
    10.
    tonight’s moon
    balanced
    on an iris bud
    .
    11.
    floating along
    with the duckweed
    tonight’s moon
    .
    12.
    moonlight
    slowly climbing
    to the high dive platform
    .

      1. lorin/patricia ….do you believe “way” can be used again so soon?

        4.
        tonight’s moon
        lighting the way
        for mosquitoes

    1. Lorin….re:
      #3. “Morris” dancers…..proper noun?

      #12. is “to” needed?
      #10. are we up to flowers, yet?
      #7. can also be effective used as a question:

      7.
      tonight’s moon
      admiring itself
      in clear water ?

      1. tonight’s moon
        admiring itself
        in clear water?
        .

        Is the moon capable of admiring itself?
        Without the verb, seems, it loses the full meaning of ‘giving the impression’ of the action.

        1. hi carol
          maybe it has to do with perception….
          …. to me…..i see this as a questioning of it. not an actual statement of knowing.
          like in a surrealist painting….dali is allowed to paint a melting clock…can’t poets stretch perception, too?

          1. I prefer the verse with “seems to”. It’s more nuanced and subtler, imo, as well as being different in tone Yes, poets can personify things, but there is no rule that they must.
            .
            As for the surreal and stretched perception, Wendy, we already have your “autumn gates” in place.

          2. The moon does not have a pair of eyes, we do, and this is the way we perceive the vision of the moon, hence the need for ‘seems’
            .
            We are supposed to be portraying ‘moments’ not delving into abstract images.

      2. “Lorin….re:
        #3. “Morris” dancers…..proper noun?” – W
        .
        yes, (oops)
        .

        “#12. is “to” needed?” – W
        .
        yes , in my version of English, it is. One might climb a ladder or steps or something to reach a platform but one doesn’t climb a platform.
        .
        “#10. are we up to flowers, yet?” – W
        .
        I forgot about a flower verse. In the first draft of this one I had “barley stalk”, then wondered if the word “barley” would contravene Patricia’s prohibition of “seeds” and the like. Thanks, I might revise this one if I can find an image that doesn’t contravene anything.
        .
        “#7. can also be effective used as a question:
        7.
        tonight’s moon
        admiring itself
        in clear water ? ” – W
        .
        If “is” is added at the beginning of L1, yes it could be a question.
        .

        1. riding back
          the clear blue sea
          caresses the moon
          .
          I’m with Carol on this one. Can the moon seen its own reflection? I say not!
          .
          playing rock, scissors, …..
          the rock beneath the paper
          becomes the moon
          .
          Just wondering where we are going with this.

          1. Thanks, Rob. Will be interesting to read what others may think.
            There are some verses I come across which see quite odd when it comes to personification
            .
            the bamboo cry
            awakening me—is it morning
            or evening?
            – Sonoko Nakamura
            .
            I went on to read it is a winter kigo, as it was the bush warbler in its winter thicket.
            Its reading verses such as this that helps with understanding what we can get away with when composing a verse, and an understanding of what is being written about, in this instant a knowledge of nature, and of course others understanding of the subject also.

          2. there are many philosophies about what must or must not be written in haiku……
            and they all may have a point that can be supported.
            ……
            like haiku/senryu……renku verses are always evolving.
            ……
            imho:
            .

            no single
            definition of haiku
            pleases all under this moon

          3. That may be right, Wendy, but we must never sacrifice the meaning and understanding of the words we produce for this genre for some sort trend.
            This is a unique form of poetic verse, start messing about with it, too much, and we are in peril of losing its generic value.

  47. edited:
    .
    “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    shaving my legs
    past bikini lines
    for a moonlight dip

  48. when will we lot
    meet again
    photos leap out
    *
    I never knew
    our germs to have
    so much death in them
    *
    last hurrah
    flung to the ceiling
    laughing

  49. ¡Ay, caramba . . . here’s my third try to jump through the hoop!

    ,

    under the buck moon
    will five chiefs jump through the hoop
    to land tax returns?

  50. . . . considering not the ONE chief, but the other kind

    under the buck moon
    will nine chiefs jump through the hoop
    to land tax returns

  51. “this way
    to the performing seals”        Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    she exits the fair
    under the summer moon
    cotton candy in hand
    .
    at the dime toss booth
    he wishes on the grain moon
    and aims for milk glass
    .

  52. Merci for the seals, Pauline!

    under the buck moon
    will the chief jump through the hoop
    to land tax returns?

  53. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    my stuffed horse prize
    and I take the ferris wheel up
    to see the hay moon

  54. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    entrepreneur in training
    with his strawberry-
    lemonade moon mix
    *
    bowing
    to the thunderous applause
    of July’s moon
    *
    he dives for treasure
    and comes up
    with a thunder moon
    *
    fishing
    for compliments
    from the sturgeon moon
    *

  55. I realize my verse is too calm for any build-up in intensity, so am trying this:
    ***
    can it fall
    from that perfect balance
    strawberry moon

  56. encouraged to spend
    by the big
    buck moon
    *
    heading to the beach
    with a souped up engine
    and a thunder moon
    *
    the July moon
    is the one not trailing
    a carnival string
    *

    1. dan…in regards to these two creative pieces you posted here….
      am i missing something? i can’t find a summer kigo. please help me??????
      .
      moonwalking
      in the moonlight on their
      honeymoon
      .
      on its dark
      side there are thousands
      of moonscars

  57. oh to be a fly
    on the wall in
    the moon light
    ***************
    her sun dress
    in the moon light looks
    more ravishing than ever
    *********************
    snails at work
    leave a trail of destruction
    by the light of the moon

    1. so glad you got motivated to jump in…..michael!
      these have amused me!

  58. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    shaving my legs
    passed bikini lines
    for a moonlight dip

      1. thanks, lorin….for kindly pointing me in the right direction. i have corrected the word in above post.
        my bad!

  59. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *

    shimmers of moon
    tumbling in the clear
    water ripples

  60. patricia….another great pick, and the highlight of my week, your delightful comments!
    *
    congrats, and way to go, pauline! a quick, playful bend for our renku. this will no doubt, engage “let go” responses and add so much more fun to this activity.

    *
    “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan

  61. on advanced
    planets wolves listen
    to moons howl
    ##########
    no not cheese
    moons are made
    of grape jelly

  62. this way
    to the performing seals
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    in the time
    it took to play
    moonlight sonata

    1. … just to let you know, Robert: if there’s nothing in a verse that indicates otherwise, “moon” or “moonlight” is considered to be an autumn seasonal reference (or kigo). You need something that conveys summer to go with the moon, or to state “summer moon” (but we’ve already had the “autumn gates”. . .)
      .

  63. “this way
    to the performing seals” -Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    at the edge
    of the waterfall
    a hesitant moon
    .

  64. It will be interesting to see what various people here, including Patricia (whose view we probably won’t know until the following week) consider to be a summer moon.
    .
    Is “June moon” a summer moon or a winter moon? (answer: it might be either, depending on where the viewer stands)
    .
    Possibly the June moon might be a summer moon if a majority of participants are writing from the Northern hemisphere?
    .
    (I think I’ve answered my own question)

    1. Did we not have a similar conversation on seasons. It being spring in the north, whilst Autumn in the south. From a novice perspective, I wonder if this is one of the ambiguous moments John Carley spoke of in his book. Should it be the case that we all consider ourselves stood in Japan for an international renku?

      1. Hi Robert, to my knowledge, the sabaki sets the seasons, in keeping with the scheme of the particular renku. Tradition has it that the hokku begins in the current season and sometimes a sabaki in an international renku will choose the season they’re personally experiencing, which is fine. In this renku, Patricia set the hokku in winter, which is fine, too. Moving from the hokku, we’ve had autumn and now this current verse is to be set in summer. All this is normal and well.
        .
        My musing wasn’t about the obvious in relation to the two hemispheres…when it’s summer in the Northern hemisphere it’s winter in the Southern. We’re all capable of writing a winter verse in summer and a summer verse in winter when it’s required. It was about naming a month as if the name of a month was a seasonal reference or ‘kigo’.
        .
        The obvious is that ‘June’ is a seasonal reference for early summer only for the Northern hemisphere. My musing amounts to : is ‘June’ an acceptable seasonal reference for this particular summer verse spot in this particular renku?
        .

        1. Hi Lorin
          I must admit to a bit of confusion. Whether hemisphere related or otherwise.
          If the renku is meant to keep moving forward how can we skip seasons? Or step back a season?
          It may be that I’ve not reached a particular part of John’s book or have not taken something in.

          1. Hi Rob, hope this helps. Here in NZ, the moon in June will not be a strawerry moon (though we still have a few thriving in the polytunnel). It would be more of a mopoke moon 😉

          2. I don’t know why, Robert., but the seasons never happen in progression in a renku. There is always a break between seasonal topics, though, with the no-seasonal verses.
            .
            You are right: we can expect this renku to end with spring verses.

    2. lorin….i do understand your complaints…..but aside from them:
      .
      june…i believe is a proper noun….even if it is spelled with lowercase, “j”…..and as such…..is not abiding by sabaki’s rules for this verse.

      1. “june…i believe is a proper noun….even if it is spelled with lowercase, “j”…..and as such…..is not abiding by sabaki’s rules for this verse.” – W
        .
        True, Wendy.
        .
        (I don’t know what you might be referring to as my “complaints”, though. Do you mean the issue I brought up… that of using the name of a month as if it could indicate a season in world renku? That’s not a complaint: it’s pointing to a fact. June can’t be a seasonal reference because it’s ambiguous: it refer to either summer or winter)

        1. lorin:
          when i use complaints….i am referring to the noun:
          .
          com·plaint
          /kəmˈplānt/
          Learn to pronounce
          noun
          plural noun: complaints

          1.
          a statement that a situation is unsatisfactory or unacceptable.

          it doesn’t mean unwarranted.

  65. Congratulations, Pauline. A good verse for the spot. It’s interesting how your “carnival barker” serves well in setting things up for a summer moon verse. So well, actually, that in retrospect it seems to place Judt’s verse in summer as well.
    .
    Because it’s occurred to me and for fun (because I’m quite aware that this reverts to Judt’s verse as well) :
    .
    “this way
    to the performing seals” – Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    too many clowns
    yet the summer moon serene
    as usual

    .

    1. dan
      good one! i got the summer kigo here….(but it is not world-wide)
      what a red, white and blue experience! dan! lol!!!!

  66. I’m so excited and thrilled to have my verse selected (and others liked, too). Thank you, Patrica! And thank you all for your kind words.

    It seems strange to be writing about the summer moon when we here in Cobargo (Australia) have frost on the ground in the mornings and fires lit each evening. But the image of a summer moon is so enticing – calm and lovely – so I’m looking forward to seeing where everyone’s imaginations take them (especially as Patricia is urging a build-up of excitement and intensity)!

  67. Pauline, you had a hit parade of offerings and I love the one Patricia chose. Congratulations!!
    .
    “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    a plethora of beach balls
    plays hide and seek
    with the June moon

    1. Lorin makes a good point so I will modify to
      .
      a plethora of beach balls
      play hide and seek
      with the summer moon
      .

  68. this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    beneath the paper moon
    a bible salesman weaving
    yarns into night
    .

  69. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    reliving
    his Navy days
    under a sturgeon moon
    *
    water up his nose
    as he dives
    for the sturgeon moon
    *

  70. Congratulations Pauline, I like this for the fact it seems they are applauding the frontline services, as we humans are, well done.

  71. Congrats, Pauline! A seamless connection, and at the same time giving forward movement, brilliant choice 🙂

    Thank you for sharing your lovely whale story, Patricia. I lived in California for two years and have such fond memories of Monterey, Pacific Grove and Carmel xx

  72. Congrats Pauline and please wave to the whales for me Patricia, what amazing creatures!

  73. “this way
    to the performing seals” Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    lovely link, Pauline.
    *
    held there
    in perfect balance
    strawberry moon

  74. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    they believe
    in the moon and clap
    for the nurses
    *
    or:
    they believe
    in the nurses and clap
    for the moon
    *

    1. forgot summer!
      *
      they believe
      in the June moon and clap
      for the nurses
      *
      or:
      they believe
      in the nurses and clap
      for the June moon
      *

  75. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    they tinker with formula
    to clap for nurses
    by a fairy moon
    *

    1. Really like this one Radhamani:
      *

      jealous
      of this rounded beauty
      untouchable

  76. this way
    to the performing seals”            
    Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    twilight
    the moon has its own take
    on London
    .

  77. this way
    to the performing seals”                   Pauline O’Carolan
    .
    Congratulations Pauline
    .
    Thank you Patricia for considering mine.
    Would also like to say I enjoyed listening to you read your chosen haiku on Victor Ortiz video.

    1. Thank you, Robert, for the good words. I have now been informed as to the meaning of “cover” as you used it in the Las Meninas verse. Made me like it even more.

    2. Robert, I interpreted your “through the crowd” image puzzle for verse 12 as an observation on social distancing. Being able to see through a crowd is unusual and the reason you could see through was because of the behavior of the people in that crowd: “eye heart eye queue“ — I love, I queue. I queue for you and I queue for thee. Am I close to solving your rebus? Your offerings have so many levels as I read them. Brilliant.

      1. Hi Clysta
        Thank you for your interest.
        You are right, it is multi faceted.
        Best
        Rob

  78. “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    Congratulations, Pauline! A vivid, sonic, lively verse, that offers many ways to go.
    Thanks to all for the fun and inspirations.
    And to Patricia for incisive comments and great selections. Onward!
    *
    “this way
    to the performing seals”
    *
    Pauline O’Carolan
    *
    playing can you top this
    under
    the waxing June moon
    *
    May’s superflower moon
    a tough act
    to follow
    *
    signing herself
    sincerely
    by the waxing strawberry moon
    *

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