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The Renku Sessions: Rasika Renku, Week 4

renkuchainWelcome to The Haiku Foundation’s Sixth Renku Session.

I (Kala Ramesh) will be your sabaki for this renku. Thanks to Jim Kacian and John Stevenson for giving me this opportunity. I’ve learned the art of renku from Norman Darlington, Moira Richards, John Carley and Eiko Yachimoto. I’ve been writing renku from 2006 and I’ve been a sabaki of many renku trips and was the guest renku editor at A Hundred Gourds 5:2.

Rasika Renku – 3rd verse

33 renkujin have submitted 58 candidates for this slot.

Once when we were on a Triparshva trip (2006), Norman Darlington told us that it’s worth bearing in mind that none of these verses is set in stone, and everything is open to change until we sign off the completed work.

The candidates that caught my attention for this *breakaway* slot, each in its own special way, are:

from snowy peaks
motionless in the dusk
the chairlift cable

– Margherita Petriccione

Beautiful flow here, Margherita. When I read it aloud I love the way the images open out in stages. The only reason I didn‘t select this is the last image of a chairlift cable gets us back to people.

*

a pied currawong
dips its beak in a birdbath
afloat with leaves

– Madhuri Pillai

Lovely, Madhuri. Reading *currawong* gets me to Australia immediately. This was very close to being the daisan.

*

wild ducks
skirt another
ragged shoreline

– Betty Shropshire

I love the use of *skirt* here, Betty.

*

first snowflakes
send the kitten
into a spin

– Marion Clarke

What a fun verse this is. It’s very nicely done, Marion. This goes into the pocket, as well!

*

all the plants
bordering Niagara
are frozen

– Agnes Eva Savich

I love this verse too and it gives us a strong view of the outside world in winter. The use of a place (Niagara) is just right here – with the introduction over, we need to step into a deeper delineation of the story we want to create.

Many more verses are suitable, but ultimately the verse that wins this slot is:

Look! an ermine
bolting out from under
that boulder

– Karen Cesar

Karen has started off with a bold and effective word ‘look!’ We were all focused on what was happening inside the house and lo! Suddenly we are ordered to look out … and what do we find but an ermine bolting out from under *that* boulder.

The ‘link’ occurs between ‘hanging’ and ‘bolting’ . . . and the ‘leap’ takes us to *that* boulder out there, look!

I loved this offer instantly without knowing anything about *ermine*, and had to Google: I read the ermine has a restricted distribution in the Himalayas, where it is confined to the west, in Ladakh (India), Pakistan and Afghanistan. In the west it looks like it is apparently common.

A point to be noted:

For those who are new to renku: the hokku is the ONLY verse in a renku that requires a cut – something we do when writing a haiku, which juxtaposes two images to create a whole. With rare exceptions, all of the subsequent verses should read straight through, sentence-like (If in doubt, please do read the finished renku in THF’s archives – it might help you to understand a sentence-like verse.)

You can find the above paragraph in the Oct 19 link: https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/2017/10/12/the-renku-sessions-rasika-renku-week-2/

Now Karen’s offer breaks this rule it looks like! After ‘Look!’ there is a break. But if you read closely, you would agree with me that this break is not what you would find in a hokku/haiku – where two images commonly known as the *fragment and the phrase* form a hokku. Here, even without the word ‘Look!’ the verse can be used as an in-between verse we see in a renku.

an ermine
bolting out from under
that boulder

and with the addition of ‘Look!’ it is still *not a hokku*!

Look! an ermine
bolting out from under
that boulder

I hope you understand my reasoning here and I’ve not confused you further. This is a classic piece for this slot (daisan) and my admiration to Karen for handling it so masterfully.

 

PS: Karen, was the cap on *Look* intentional, or can we do away with it?

*****

Now we move to verse # 4. Check out our schema below.
For this two line non-seasonal verse, I once again ask you to give me a complete nature verse. Please do not use words and images that have already been used in the 3 verses finished so far. No more colours and numbers! Around 11 sound units/syllables.

A word you will hear often during these renku trips is *uchikoshi.* It has two meanings: (1) the verse before last (the so-called ‘leap-over’ verse), and (2) the great sin (!) of writing a verse that could be linked in any way to the last-but-one verse.

The rule exists in order to ensure that a renku keeps moving onto new ground, and does not become repetitive. Even the most seasoned writers commit the sin from time to time, and all renkujin rely on their writing partners to keep an eye out for this. So, to avoid committing this sin in verse #4, you should guard against anything linking with Sanjuktaa’s waki.

 

The verses we have:

Rasika renku:

tonight’s moon –
eight champagne glasses
catch the shine / lorin

a white silk hat left
on the hat stand / sanjuktaa

Look! an ermine
bolting out from under
that boulder / karen

 

Rasika Schema:
1. long – hokku | autumn moon*
2. short – wakiku | non-seasonal*
3. long – daisan | winter*
4. short – non-seasonal
5. long – end of summer/love (rainy season)
6. short – non-seasonal/love
7. long | spring blossom *
8. ageku | non-seasonal or spring *

The asterisks show the important verses in this renku.

I would like no more than 3 candidates per poet, and please post them by Monday, 30th October.
The next posting will be on 2nd November, next Thursday morning (Eastern US time) along with the instructions for submitting the 5th verse. Keep a close watch on this space!

Thanks once again for all your lovely offers.
Keenly waiting to read your candidates for verse #4!
Kala Ramesh

 

 

 

This Post Has 95 Comments

  1. This was one of my three offerings, but I think it implies human presence with fire:
    .
    curls of smoke drift
    from burnt juniper and sage
    .
    I’d like to change it instead to this:
    .
    charred pine forests
    and drifting curls of smoke

  2. Kala,
    I am new to these rules, so I don’t know if a “complete nature verse” means/implies no human presence. If this is the case, I’d like to resubmit my previous fourth verse (below). thank you, Julie
    .
    birds inside the castle
    of driftwood on the beach

  3. Hello. I’m a newcomer, having just completed one kasen renku with 3 collaborators, by email. Here is my suggestion for the fourth verse here. Thank you, Kala, for all your interesting guidance and comments! Julie

    girls inside the castle
    of driftwood on the beach

    1. I’m happy you like the guidance and my comments – I had very good teachers but still feel it’s difficult to do the *right* thing :))
      .
      We are all learning … with every renku trip I learn something new and that helps to strengthen the core of my knowledge of this difficult art form but it’s fun!
      .
      We are artists and need to create like John Carley once said.
      And renku gives us a lot of scope for creation.

  4. WONDERFUL haiku, Karen–that’s just the way it happens with ermine! You could have written that about the time a photographer friend and I were happily good morning’d by an ermine while shooting in the badlands at sunrise.

    I really appreciate Lorin’s observations regarding the significance of the word, “Look!” as well; it seems instrumental in expressing the surprise and delight of this rare experience.

    I’m a beginner when it comes to renku, so please forgive my baby steps. Here are my three very different short non-seasonal responses. My intention was to bring other senses to bear:

    the whir of a zoom lens
    before the shutter clicks

    ***

    just a pinch of cornstarch
    velvety smooth

    ***

    the whisper of her stockings
    slipping to the floor

    Thank you for allowing me to participate!

    Autumn

    1. My apologies, Kala, for missing the “complete nature verse” requirement for #4. Please disregard my attempts. Like I said, Baby Steps…or more accurately, baby crawling.

      Autumn

      1. Thanks, Karen. Amazing, huh? I managed to misname your link, miss the “complete nature” requirement, AND commit the “great sin” all in a single post! Thus this week’s lesson in humility is complete…

        Autumn

  5. another busy day
    in the rock pool
    .
    .
    a black-headed gull
    gives the signal
    .
    .
    the rhythmic swish
    of water on pebbles

  6. waves slowly swell and break
    on the outer reef

    ***
    ***

    slowly waves swell and break
    on the outer reef

  7. Karen, a wonderful and vivid verse!! An excellent choice, Sanjuktaa. I am loving just reading all these offerings and the discussions among the experienced writers.
    .
    Here are my three offerings:
    .
    Look! an ermine
    bolting out from under
    that boulder (Karen)
    .
    .
    curls of smoke drift
    from burnt juniper and sage
    .
    from nowhere a cloud
    of running bison
    .
    bison’s pounding feet
    echo miles away

    1. Hi Mary,
      To your: ” An excellent choice, Sanjuktaa.” . . . um, no, not Sanjuktaa. 🙂

      Though John Stevenson, in the previous renku, encouraged each person who’d had a verse selected to choose the following verse ( a very bold initiative, on John’s part, & imo, challenging, successful & productive of some interesting commentary) that method is unusual…actually the very first time I’ve come across it exactly like that (though John Carley encouraged input & discussion from all along the way) Kala is the sole sabaki, the one who chooses the verses for this renku.

      One way or another, though, renku is communal poetry, which is why I’m attracted to it. 🙂
      – Lorin

      1. Oh, dear…am I losing my mind? Lorin, thank you SO MUCH for reminding me that KALA alone is our wonderful Sabaki. Yes, I seem to be back a month ago in the renku with John. I really do appreciate your note. {{{Lorin}}}. Best, Mary
        .
        Dear Kala, I apologize for this error. I don’t know what I was thinking. Old age is clearly taking its toll on my brain. Thanks for your understanding and always, your kindness. {{{Kala}}}…Mary

        1. That’s fine, Mary :))
          Thanks Lorin for your comment.

          End 2015, I had asked my Symbiosis International University undergrads to be the sabaki for the rasika trip they took. After each verse was chosen, that student would act as the *sabaki*. It was after their first renku at the close of the 2nd month of their 60-hour course.
          .
          I wanted the whole batch (of 16 students) to get a taste of what it means to be a ‘sabaki’ and it worked very well.
          The class was divided into 2 groups and both the groups followed the same method.

          I just sat there as an observer. Just wanted to share this…

  8. i loved the verse as submitted even though it wasn’t exactly within the sabaki’s instructions
    .
    Look! an ermine
    bolting out from under
    that boulder

    long lines of seaweed
    in the Sargasso Sea

      1. Very nice, Sally 🙂 The tides are with us the year around ( so are non-seasonal) And yes, all seems still & silent at slack tide, whether estuary or bay, at this daily occurrence. A lull.

        – Lorin

  9. Hi Kala! Great verse Karen!

    Look! an ermine
    bolting out from under
    that boulder / karen
    *
    the hollow echo
    of a swinging gate

  10. a hen shaking her head
    at the lightning over the hills

    ********

    through dry branches
    the sun from the sea

  11. Sorry!
    In haste I forgot to separate the verses:
    ***
    a single round stone
    in the jagged gravel
    ***
    featureless stratus
    spreads over the mountains
    ***
    the sky so clear you can see
    Andromeda

  12. Congratulations Lorin, Sanjuktaa and Karen on these verses and thank you Kala for leading the way. I’m on a steep learning curve. Here are my offerings for verse #4:

    a single round stone
    in the jagged gravel

    featureless stratus
    spreads over the mountains

    the sky so clear you can see
    Andromeda

  13. Yay Karen! Congratulations on your verse!

    —–

    tree tops bow and wave
    to a new day’s dawn

  14. Thank you Kala for the mention and congratulations Karen for the fine verse.
    ***

    trees ripple in the creek
    after the dog’s splash

    ***
    twilight falls on the possum
    so still in the birch

    ***

    from the pine bough
    the magpie loses its steam

    ***

  15. a coyote’s howl
    echoes through the pines
    *

    caught in its throat
    a bullfrog’s final croak
    *

    pine trees surround the lake
    like faceless sentries
    *

  16. Dear Kala,
    I was remiss in adding my kudos and congratulations! Thanks for allowing a substitute for the rain reference. Here is that offering:
    .
    aftershocks release
    more scree from the cliff face

  17. Lorin & Barbara have some very well taken points. One of the fascinating elements of Renku is the importance of the reader’s subjective response.
    .

    I read the hokku as taking place indoors in the host’s last quiet moment before guests arrive. The glasses are still grouped. This indoor image is bolstered by the presence of an entryway hat stand in the wakiku. Rather than seeing the silk hat left on the stand as the guest proceeded onto the veranda, I pictured the hat having been left behind (forgotten) as the guest in the silk hat was departing.
    .

    One of the things I like about this waki is this acknowledgement of the lingering “scent” of preceding verses. Which again depends on my reading.
    .

    My link was ermine/ silk hat. Ermine was chosen for the fur’s association with aristocracy which is what “silk hat” brings to mind. See: https://www.furinsider.com/the-royal-touch-ermine/
    .

    Ermine would also be a winter signifier. Da Vinci’s ” Lady with an Ermine” aside, I picture a wilderness setting for the daisan, which is why “boulder” was chosen. ( that and the aural similarity between “bolt” and “boulder”) While one might use a boulder in landscaping or perhaps have a house perched on a bluff, it is more likely to encounter boulders in a more remote location. The same reasoning applies to our elegantly garbed little weasel.
    .

    As to the wording of the daisan, yes, it is direct speech. It is also Kala’s “clap” as it was designed to direct the reader to the nature scene.
    .
    Had quotation marks been used around the entire verse, the human presence would have been overt. As it stands, I see the narrator- whether the omniscient author/viewer of any verse – or someone in the verse, as a minor element. As with all Renku verses, it is up to the following verse to give context to the preceding verse as well as leap away from it.
    .

    I feel that this daisan “breaks away” from hokku/wakiku, in setting, style and substance. If, however, Kala disagrees upon reading the comments, there is still sufficient time for her to choose another verse. Truly, I do to mind. Up to Kala.
    .

    Thank you, Barbara and Lorin for your comments. They have prompted an interesting discussion.
    .
    🙂karen

    1. Karen,
      I agree that the subjective elements are as you say, all verses with clear images but plenty left to interpretation and to the (wonderful!) changes in context that the next verse brings.
      The only reason I see the hat in Sanjuktaa’s wakiku as a sign that guests have arrived is that I see the wakiku in its traditional role of supporting the hokku, which is supposed to be a ‘greeting verse’. If everyone was leaving the party already in the wakiki . . . hmmm. 🙂

      I did get the connection of white silk hat & ermine, once a pricey & sought-after trimming for royalty, and the winter kigo, and yes, also your ” lingering “scent” of preceding verses. ”

      I think it’s an excellent & interesting verse. My one point, which has been acknowledged, was that sabaki had called for a daisan without human presence. That’s just background now. Each added verse rings changes, some great, some small. With your verse in place, the renku moves on to the next and following verses.

      – Lorin

      1. Thank you, Lorin.
        .
        I wish there was time/space to discuss what makes the Rasika form unique. I took liberties based on my (limited) understanding of the form and the limited number of verses. But, as Kala has requested we move on, we will have to save that discussion for another time.
        .
        🙂karen

        1. Karen,
          I, too, have a very limited understanding of the Rasika form.

          Kala, I think, is the only one with a complete understanding, since she invented it as a yet shorter form of renku than the Junicho, the previously shortest form of renku. For practical purposes, the Rasika is very handy for live renku in so-called ‘Western’ countries . (‘Western’ includes India…north of the equator … and the Southern countries, such as Australia, Sth. America, Sth. Africa and NZ, but we still do use those old .. and might I say, ‘antiquated’! … terms) where we might have one & a half or two hours, including an introduction to renku, with a live & present group, including the answering of the inevitable questions!

          I think(I might be wrong!) this is the first time the Rasika form has been applied to and tested out as a renku that operates over a longer period, with a week between each verse.

          From 12 verses in the Junicho to 8 in the Rasika . . . all I can figure out logically is that, apart from the hokku, the wakiku, the blossom verse and the ageku (last verse) we can expect sharper leaps as far as links & subject matter goes between verses (as in the 12 verse Junicho, but even more so) than in longer renku. Much more compression.

          – Lorin

  18. My decision re daisan …

    I read all the replies and reasoning from Lorin.

    Yes, in my enthusiasm I invited comments, but having said that I’m happy I did. I realise my mistake here about insisting on a nature verse.

    .
    After reading the reservations from Barbara and Lorin, I mulled long and deep over Karen’s verse for this slot.
    I will like to retain it as is.
    .

    Shall we continue with the trip, please?

    1. Kala, I posted my comments re., the daisan before reading your comment here. In every Renku I have participated in, Sabaki has the final decision and authority.
      .
      I sometimes submit a verse that is not what the sabaki has called for … this too is part of the creative process. For me, the Renku takes on a life of its own – part of us, but apart from us.
      .
      I remember a Renku where you wrote the hokku. It had a squirrel crossing a garden gate. I was charmed by the thought of squirrels in India, which I had not pictured being there. I then realized that my image of the garden gate et.al, was also totally different than what you had written. Different, but not wrong.
      .
      That is one of the strengths of Renku.
      .
      Much love and 🙏 for taking on the difficult task of leading us on this trip… much like herding cats, but sooo much fun.
      .
      ❤️😘 k

      1. PS Moving on from this discussion to the new verses. The last batch were so good, I can’t wait to see what is in store for us in the upcoming verses.
        .
        ❤️k

    2. Kala,
      just for the record, I took your ““Would love to hear from all about the choice of the daisan.” as a sincere request and I did not suggest that you change anything. My first point was that sabaki’s choice rules, no matter what. Karen’s verse is a good & interesting verse.

      On with the show! 🙂

      – Lorin

      1. Thanks a million Karen and Lorin.
        .
        .

        I loved this observation about *renku* that Karen has just said:
        .
        “I sometimes submit a verse that is not what the sabaki has called for … this too is part of the creative process. For me, the Renku takes on a life of its own – part of us, but apart from us.”

        .
        I was going to mention something close to this in my previous comment but thought my reply was becoming too long :))

        .
        We use the boat and the oars to take us across the river. After reaching the other side we don’t carry them on our heads, we leave them behind.
        .
        A Buddhist observation I think. Don’t remember where I read it . . . but it can be applied to the art of renku.
        .
        Thanks for mentioning the *squirrel* hokku Karen. Wow! That was ages back.
        .

        Thanks guys, lets move on.
        I’m going back to bed… it’s 4.30 am here in Mumbai.

        .

  19. I’m grateful for your kind appreciation Kala Ramesh 🙂 . Congratulations
    to the chosen one

  20. Hi All…I, too, felt a human presence in Karen’s verse. Yet, I like it in this position so very much! ☺

    transform faults rumble
    beneath ocean currents

    1. Saw a perfect one just as you described on our drive back to west Texas on Wednesday, Michael! 🦂🌵🐍😊

  21. prickly brambles
    tangle in a shallow swale
    *
    rain’s apt to sound wetter
    in a somber dark
    *
    saw grass on the march
    among breasting dunes

    1. Oops. Didn’t notice that (rainy season) is coming in the fifth verse. That would disqualify : “rain’s apt to sound”, yes? If so, may I submit a replacement?
      .

      1. Of course you can Jackie Maugh Robinson.
        Yes, our 7th verse – end of summer/love (rainy season)
        .
        Thanks.
        _kala

  22. Like myself, I hope all newbies to this genre are taking notes. An interesting discussion.

  23. “Would love to hear from all about the choice of the daisan.” – Kala

    Since you’ve asked, Kala.

    The first thing I’d like to say is the obvious: each sabaki will choose what she or he thinks is the most suitable verse and once that’s done there’s no arguing about it. (Though an explanation is usually appreciated by the group.)

    The 2nd thing is that Karen’s verse includes action, a good thing, in my view. After the quietness, even serenity, of the hokku and wakiki, I too, felt that an active verse would be good for the spot. (In the end I had my own two favourites, one of which gets a mention in your post, above and another which I appreciated for its subtle, whimsical haikai humour.)

    The 3rd thing, though, is that it’s a surprise when a sabaki gives instructions about what’s wanted and what’s not wanted for a verse, then selects a verse that goes against those specific instructions anyway.

    Karen’s verse is a clear instance of direct speech, something said aloud to a present audience. (Not to the reader, but to other humans on the spot : “Look! There goes … (whatever)”
    In doing this, it flies in the face of your instructions:

    “For the daisan I request:
    Shall we step into the world of nature? No human presence, please, more so because the hokku and wakiku are pregnant with human presence!
    A 3-line verse. Winter. Absolutely no human presence.
    No backlash to the hokku. Move away from all those images and words in the previous 2 verses.” – Kala

    Also, as far as place goes, the hokku is most likely set outdoors, on a patio or lawn, but could be indoors by a big, east-facing window, as you’ve mentioned. The wakiku, with its ‘hatstand’ is most likely set indoors, in a hall or reception area. People have arrived and left their hats & coats in the likely places before they go either further inside or out on to the patio/ lawn. With the daisan, the speaker (a fully human, though unidentified, voice) enters the scene. The speaker may be inside by a window or outside (either is as likely as the other)

    Karen’s verse ‘breaks away’ in style from the first two verses, but it is precisely that stylistic element (direct speech, calling something to the attention of a present human audience, whether that be one other person or a crowd) which brings the human speaker and her implied audience into focus.

    And I wouldn’t question this except that (1) you specified no human element for the daisan and (2) that instead of a breakaway shift with the daisan, we now have a cinema-like build-up to human presence … a table set for guests, someone’s hat in the reception area and finally, a human enters the scene and speaks.

    (Just in case someone asks: this speech cannot be claimed to directed to the reader of the renku, anymore than if I report to you or any reader of this thread “Look! The postman is putting something in the mailbox.” (He just did, but no reader of this thread was here to peep out the window & see the event. 🙂 )

    I see that Barbara has also asked the main question in relation to this daisan verse, as you invited, Kala.

    – Lorin

  24. g’day Kala,

    I have a question regarding the daisan:

    Does not, the imperative, Look! refer to a human demand addressed to people, and you had asked specifically for a non person verse, wholly a nature verse in this position?

    Just wondering.
    I have seen an ermine in the snow, brilliant disguise.

    Peace and Love
    B

    1. Thanks Barbara.
      Yes it could seem so to many but to me it didn’t :))
      To me *Look!* seems like a clap … to get the readers’ attention. It did catch my attention.
      *

      Like I’ve already stated in my notes – this word doesn’t have any major role to play in the verse, which is a complete nature verse as it stands.

      >
      an ermine
      bolting out from under
      that boulder

      .

      _kala

      1. “Like I’ve already stated in my notes –this word doesn’t have any major role to play in the verse, . . ”
        – Kala

        I’m sorry, Kala, but that’s not so. While

        an ermine
        bolting out from under
        that boulder

        can be considered a ‘nature’ verse, (with, of course, a human observer, as in all verses) the cue “Look!” indicates a speaker, someone addressing an audience. It does play a major role in the verse, grammatically: it indicates that here is a speaker. If we put it in observation/ report style, 2nd person instead of 1st person, it would read: ” She/he/ Karen/ Kyle says an ermine is bolting out from under that boulder.” not “An ermine is bolting out from under that boulder”

        It’s not a matter of “seem” or of opinions. It’s how the language works, how it’s supposed to work, how it’s structured to work. This verse is spoken by the first overt ‘human presence’ in this renku. Sorry, but this is a fact, not an opinion.

        – Lorin

  25. Karen,
    You have terribly & utterly confused me!

    A haiku is simply:
    See something
    Feel something

    1. I’m sorry you are confused, Mike. Hopefully as you read through the comments in this thread, the issue will resolve itself.
      .
      🙂 Karen

    2. “Karen,
      You have terribly & utterly confused me!

      A haiku is simply:
      See something
      Feel something”
      – Mike

      Ah, Mike, but what we have here is not haiku, but renku, a “haikai poem”, from which both haiku & senryu derive. The one verse which is haiku-like is the first verse, the hokku. Hang around and you’ll catch on. 🙂 Read some of the previous THF renku, which are all archived and you’ll get the gist of it, and you’ll find many approaches.

      – Lorin

  26. Well done to Karen – I have never seen a real ermine, Kala, but they look so pretty in their little white winter coats. 😍 Incidentally, wasn’t this animal the subject of Gorky Park?

    Enjoy your time in Mumbai with your granddaughter – I have fond memories of the few days I spent there.

    marion

  27. Love the “look!” and the ermine. Congrats, Karen.

    forked lightning
    chases rumbles of thunder

    1. Marilyn,
      Please do check the kigo list.
      I think *thunder and lightning* are a reference to end summer.
      In India it would mean our *monsoon season*.

      1. Hi Kala
        In Toronto, Canada, (especially with climate change) we now have instances of thunder and lightning in every season.
        For that reason I thought this weather would be “non-seasonal”.

        But I didn’t check the kigo list. Could you clarify? Is that always necessary in a renku?

        1. Yes, Marilyn, please do check the 500 seasonal words …
          The beauty of renku is that after seasonal verse/s it has non-seasonal verse/s, depending on the type and the length of the renku.
          .
          In Rasika, I have space for just one non-season verse between each season verse.
          .
          .

          This cushioning is important in renku as it gives scope for variety.
          .
          Re., your Q.
          An important natural phenomenon such as lightning and thunder is generally associated with the rainy season – or end summer. Yes, we have rains in all the other seasons too but we need to see when this occurs most often.
          .
          The moon is by default an autumn *kigo* (seasonal reference) word, and the wind chime is a summer kigo word, according to the Japanese *saijiki*.
          Can you guess the reasons? Try :))
          .
          * Saijiki is a Japanese word and means a collection of kigo words.

          .

  28. Love the way this is unfolding! Great selection, Kala and congrats Karen Cesar for this lovely verse!

  29. Would love to hear from all about the choice of the daisan.

    I’m back in India, in Mumbai to be more precise! Having a lovely time with my little granddaughter Athira (taken from Tamil Sangam Literature – meaning *night jasmine*)

    Eagerly waiting to read your offers for our next slot.

    1. Kala Dear,

      I like the variety of having different part of speech, and even one appropriate punctuation. The Interjection is not often used and it makes the stanza distinctive. I like the capitalization… it obviates the need to use quotation mark for the one word.

      Lovely nature Karen! — just what was asked for. Weasels look cute but are ferocious hunters. I’ve personally never seen one in winter coat (white). I do agree “boulder” is a great word here.

    2. Thank you, Kala, for selecting my verse. So unexpected. You had so many lovely verses from which to choose.
      .
      You asked about the capitalization of “Look.” Yes, it was intentional – for the reasons that Paul gives. But, as you are sabaki, if you prefer to change it, that is your prerogative.
      .
      ❤️🙂 karen

      1. Thanks, Karen,

        I love the cap on *Look*and will leave your verse as is :))
        What a *breakaway* verse you’ve given me.
        _()_
        .
        Thanks Paul for that ‘nod’, for a sabaki this help is immense – like Karen says there were so many lovely offers for this slot and to choose just one is daunting. To think with each verse selection the renku can change its course and the sabaki can find herself in deep waters!
        .

        My gratitude to John Stevenson for the timely hints and comments he has given.

        .

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