Skip to content

The Renku Sessions: Purple Haze – Week 8

renku_300

Hi, everyone,

I’m Kala Ramesh from India, and I’m your sabaki for this renku.

We are composing a Junicho – a 12-verse renku (linked verses). The seventh verse has been chosen, and we are now on to our eighth!

 

If you want to read my introduction to this renku, the link below:

Intro: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-invitation-2/

 

1st week – Hokku: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-1/

2nd week- Wakiku: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-2/

3rd week: Daisan: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-3/

4th week: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-4/

5th week: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-5/

6th week: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-6/

I thank you all for the kind feedback many of you have shared.

_()_

 

We are on to our 8th verse.
Just reminding you of the structure, once again.

Jo – introduction – first 3 verses

 

Ha – expansion – next 6 verses. We are here!

 

Kyu – a rapid close –last 3 verses

 

The renku is shaping well. It’s non-thematic, and the flow is good.

Thanks to each and every one of you who have participated in this junicho.

 

Enjoy the journey!

_kala

 

Please read the schema:
Junicho: a twelve-verse renku (collaborative poetry)

 

hokku – spring blossom

wakiku – spring

daisan – cut away verse – no season (ns)

4 short – ns

5 long – summer

6 short: love – no season

        7 long – love winter (selected)

                          8 short – ns | submission call

9 long – end summer (monsoon in India!)

10 short – ns

11 long – autumn moon

12 short – ageku – autumn

 

* Please remember: you should only offer blossom, moon, love, season verses, rain, and so on during the specific slots provided in the schema.

 

The poem so far:

 

Purple Haze

 

purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches                   pc

a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral                    jd

an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer                             sa

Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo         mm

spinning wheel thread
unwinds from the spindle
in summer heat                        vjg

the tall dark stranger
changes more than her tyre    td

 

Renkujin so far in this renku are:
hokku: Pauline O’ Carolan – spring
wakiku: John Daleiden – spring
daisan: Sanjuktaa Asopa – no season
4th verse: Mohua Maulik – no season
5th verse: VJ Green – summer
6th verse: Tracy Davidson – no season love

 

Strong verses for this slot:

cinnamon and coffee
melt the ice
of winter mournings

Belenda Behne
I like the introduction of food. Nice.

 

nights in the quilt
not as warm as before
the war took him

Anju Kishore
War is a good topic and nicely placed between a winter season word. I debated a lot whether to take this verse or not.

 

warm inside mittens
he holds her steady despite
arthritic hands

Veronica Hosking
Shows the years of companionship.

 

she stops again at
her husband’s grave
in the snowy silence

Urszula Marciniak
Death is something we all have to face, and it’s an important topic at this point.

 

his winter coat
still hangs by the door
holding his warmth

Rebeca Thomas
Nicely done, covering all the requirements.

 

at winter sunset
shadows lean
into each other

Anton R-kelian
Nicely phrased to communicate this couple’s comfort level.

 

first sun
in the garden of rest
he plants her favourite blooms

Melissa Dennison.
Excellent topics introduced: garden and plants.

 

she still sprinkles
his porridge
with a spoonful of love

Tracy Davidson
Food. We haven’t covered food yet.

 

divorce papers
pushed under the door
on a frosty morning

Pauline O’Carolin

Life is never a bed of roses. The harsh realities set in.

 

The verse that won my heart is:

the tall dark stranger
changes more than her tyre    td

reliving soda shop days
with porridge from one bowl
and two spoons

Laurie Greer

Laurie has given us not only food but also numbers, featuring a strong winter seasonal reference with ‘porridge’. The first word caught my attention, and the more I pondered it, the more convinced I became that it would fit well here, in the 8th position.

‘reliving’ – indicates that it’s not just about recalling an elderly couple’s memorable time when they first fell in love; it also serves as a meaningful link and transition from stopping to change her tyre to subtly honouring their courtship days.

When I Googled “soda shop,” I discovered it has a long history! This brings in a lot of atmosphere to this renku.

Now, wait a minute. I’ve not done yet.

Who is reminiscing, and are both partners still alive at this point? The story remains untold, leaving each reader to interpret it as they see fit. This halts at an intriguing juncture.

Waiting for this week’s submission to arrive, as I feel like I need to don Hercule Poirot’s hat to select the next verse!
This is exciting! Use your imagination and take it forward!

 

The entire poem along with the currently chosen verse:

 

Purple Haze

 

purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches                   pc

a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral                    jd

an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer                             sa

Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo         mm 

spinning wheel thread
unwinds from the spindle
in summer heat                        vjg

the tall dark stranger
changes more than her tyre    td

reliving soda shop days
with porridge from one bowl
and two spoons                             lg

 

Renkujin so far in this renku are:

hokku: Pauline O’ Carolan – spring
wakiku: John Daleiden – spring
daisan: Sanjuktaa Asopa – no season
4th verse: Mohua Maulik – no season
5th verse: VJ Green – summer
6th verse: Tracy Davidson – no season love
7th verse: Laurie Greer – winter love

 

The requirements for verse 8:

  1. Review the schema first.
  2. Ensure the verse is between 9 and 12 syllables.
  3. We’ve covered two verses on human love; now, focus on the outside world. Use topics not yet explored.
  4. Remember, it’s a no-season verse.
  5. The remaining topics in the schema are rain and moon, so avoid mentioning these in your offers.
  6. Link to Laurie’s verse, and shift away from Tracy’s verse.
  7. Do not repeat any word or images from previous verses. Renku is all about maintaining variety.

 

The three essential parts of a renku (linked verse) sequence — specifically relating to the structural requirement of a “leap” or “shift” — are uchikoshi (the penultimate verse), maeku (the preceding verse), and tsukeku (the current verse).

the tall dark stranger
changes more than her tyre          Tracy Davidson
(uchikoshi)

 

reliving soda shop days
with porridge from one bowl
and two spoons                             Laurie Green
(maeku)

 

To be selected                              (tsukeku)

 

***

 

I’ll wait for your submissions. The window closes each Monday, and my selection, along with the requirements for the next verse, will be posted here every Thursday.

Let’s have fun creating this renku together!

 

your sabaki,
_kala

 

 

 

 

 

THF strives to maintain a safe and friendly environment for our readers and site participants. Participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior of all parties. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, for any reason, at any time. 

If you see something you feel may violate our Code of Conduct, please report it to the appropriate moderator or the President here.

John Stevenson

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Back To Top