The Renku Sessions: Purple Haze – Week 6
Hi, everyone,
I’m Kala Ramesh from India, and I’m your sabaki for this renku.
We are writing a Junicho – a 12-verse renku (linked verses). The sixth verse is selected, and we are on to our seventh!
If you want to read my introduction to this renku, the link below:
Intro: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-invitation-2/
1st week – Hokku: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-1/
2nd week- Wakiku: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-2/
3rd week: Daisan: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-3/
4th week: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-4/
5th week: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-5/
I thank you all for the kind feedback many of you have shared.
_()_
Now, with this verse, the connection and shift become visible, and the interaction between the newly selected verse and the previous verse is noticeable and striking.
The ‘white space’ is doing its magic!
Attempting to grasp these subtle nuances will aid you in deciphering this 400-year-old collaborative linked verse poetry.
I request all of you to use your imagination and creativity, in keeping with the demands of the renku conventions. Isn’t that what art is all about?
Enjoy the journey!
_kala
Half the renku is done! And, it’s done well, thanks to all of you. In the next six verses, half belong to the ‘jo’, which means expansion and moving deeper into the poem. And the concluding part will be the ‘kyu’, the rapid close.
We now move on to the 7th verse.
Please read the schema:
Junicho: a twelve-verse renku (collaborative poetry)
hokku – spring blossom
wakiku – spring
daisan – cut away verse – no season (ns)
4 short – ns
5 long – summer
6 short: love – no season (just chosen)
                  7 long – love winter (working for!)
8 short – ns
9 long – end summer (monsoon in India!)
10 short – ns
11 long – autumn moon
12 short – ageku – autumn
* Please remember: you should only offer blossom, moon, love, season verses, rain, and so on during the specific slots provided in the schema.
The poem so far:
Purple Haze
purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches                  pc
a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral                   jd
an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer                            sa
Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo        mm
spinning wheel thread
unwinds from the spindle
in summer heat                       vjg
Renkujin so far in this renku are:
hokku: Pauline O’ Carolan – spring
wakiku: John Daleiden – spring
daisan: Sanjuktaa Asopa – no season
4th verse: Mohua Maulik – no season
5th verse: VJ Green – summer
Â
Now, regarding the shortlisted verses, most of them were very suitable for the slot. Any of these verses would have worked equally well. Many of you submitted some challenging verses, and I spent a lot of time reading and re-reading them to determine which verse fits best in this position. In many ways, imagination played a part, and I could see you enjoyed writing on this topic!
A few wrote verses on spring, thinking that love happens only in spring! This slot was a no-season.Â
                                                    ***
Strong verses for this slot:
atop the rocket ride
holding each other tight
Richard Straw
on grandma’s porch swing
we remember our first kiss
Veronica Hosking
she loosens her hair
and I forget to speak
Guliz Mutlu
they blush slightly next to
a children’s clothing store
Urszula Marciniak
Â
on grandma’s porch swing
we remember our first kiss
Veronica Hosking
his smile from behind
catching her off-balance
Pamela Garry
fingers interlaced
a couple whisper sweet nothings
Neena Singh
their hands meet lightly
reaching for the same cup
Rebeca Thomas
the surprise of late love
growing stronger
Barbara Feehrer
they untangle laughter
in the shade of the porch
Anton R-kelian
what untangles the tango
of four left feet
Rachel Greve
.
the time Time stood still
and I said I do
Anju Kishore
eyes lock as they weave
through the crowded room
Debbie Feller
your breath beside mine
everything loosens its hold
Sathya Venkatesh
falling head over heels
like a teenager again
Laurie Greer
she checks his hand
for signs of a wedding ring
Sally Biggar
she eats his chocolate heart
before it melts
Marion Clarke
our first date was a film
we didn’t see
scott anderson
tearing through traffic
to find the girl who blew him a kiss
Madeleine Kavanagh
lights come up too soon
at the midnight movie
Margaret Anderson
***
Close contenders included:
only her gatos
enjoyed my gringo serenade
Dan Campbell
‘Gatos’ means cats in Spanish, but in Madrid, and “Gringo” is a commonly used, often informal term in Latin America and Spain for a foreigner, typically referring to someone from the United States, Canada, or the UK.
This verse introduces foreign cultural references into the ‘jo’, which is all about expansion. I would have loved to take this verse, but it loops back to Mohua’s Beethoven’s verse. Music as a topic has been covered.
Â
running his hands
through her hair
Andrew Shimield
I liked this for its simple action, and the moment would have been highly charged!
Tracy Davidson’s tall, dark stranger takes the slot:
the tall dark stranger
changes more than her tyre                      Â
Â
Travel is a new topic here. Remember, renku is about variety. Oh! Look at the second part of this sentence. It is all about storytelling. How naturally it flows into the overall poem. That is renku!
The readers see a tall, dark stranger, in the middle of a highway or a remote village road, and you are utterly stranded, and this man comes along to offer to change the tyre and he changes more than the tyre!
Simple and effective!
Congratulations, Tracy.
The three essential parts of a renku (linked verse) sequence — specifically relating to the structural requirement of a “leap” or “shift” — are uchikoshi (the penultimate verse), maeku (the preceding verse), and tsukeku (the current or attached verse).
an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer                              sa (uchikoshi)
spinning wheel thread
unwinds from the spindle
in summer heat                          vjg (maeku)
the tall dark stranger
changes more than her tyre       td (tsukeku)
The poem so far:
Purple Haze
purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches                      pc
a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral                       jd
an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer                                sa
Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo               mm
spinning wheel thread
unwinds from the spindle
in summer heat                             vjg
the tall dark stranger
changes more than her tyre           td
Renkujin so far in this renku:
hokku: Pauline O’ Carolan – spring
wakiku: John Daleiden – spring
daisan: Sanjuktaa Asopa – no season
4th verse: Mohua Maulik – no season
5th verse: VJ Green – summer
6th verse: Tracy Davidson – no season
Â
                                                             ***
Requirements for the 7th verse:
- Read the entire schema and see how your poems fit into it.
6 short: love – no season (just chosen)
7 long – love winter (present verse)
- Please note: only three offers from each poet — no more.3. Link to Tracy’s verse, and move away from all the verses above! No backlash. Which means, no images or words used above will be used in the new verses. Remember, renku moves only forward and never goes back.4. It’s a winter love verse. 3 lines, of around 12 to 14 syllables.
For verses that need a kigo (formal season word or phrase), we will be using The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words:
https://thehaikufoundation.org/omeka/items/show/821
- New topics. Use imagination and creativity. Renku is all about how the story comes together – a collaborative story from different parts of the world through different cultural backgrounds.
- Love is the only theme in renku that extends across two consecutive slots. Here, love in the 7th verse refers to a love that has endured for many decades or pertains to the death or separation of a spouse for other reasons.
***
I’ll wait for your submissions. The window closes each Monday, and my selection, along with the requirements for the next verse, will be posted here every Thursday.
Let’s have fun creating this masterpiece!
your sabaki,
_kala
THF strives to maintain a safe and friendly environment for our readers and site participants. Participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior of all parties. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, for any reason, at any time.Â
If you see something you feel may violate our Code of Conduct, please report it to the appropriate moderator or the President here.
