The Renku Sessions: Purple Haze – Week 5

Hi, everyone,

I’m Kala Ramesh from India, and I’m your sabaki for this renku.

We are writing a Junicho – a 12-verse renku (linked verses). The fifth verse is selected, and we are on to our sixth verse!

If you want to read my introduction to this renku, the link below:

Intro: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-invitation-2/

1^st week – Hokku: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-1/

2^nd Week- Wakiku: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-2/

3^rd week: Daisan: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-3/

I thank you for the kind feedback many of you have shared.

_()_

I received significantly fewer offers for this slot.

Please remember that only the first verse (hokku) is a haiku. All the others are sentence ku, meaning they lack the two-part image structure of a haiku. Learn to differentiate between them and to write them, understanding the difference.

Did you all get time to read my essay on link and shift? I had sent you the link last week.

This week, I would like to mention ‘uchikoshi’.

In a sequence of three verses, if the current verse being written is the tsukeku (linking verse), and the one before it is the maeku (preceding verse), the uchikoshi is the verse before the maeku.

Taking examples from this renku:

Verse A: Sanjuktaa’s verse:
an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer  (uchikoshi)

Verse B: Mohua’s verse:

Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo  (maeku)

Verse C
Current verse we are working on – (tsukeku)       

Key Aspects of Uchikoshi in Renku:

1.
The “Leap-Over” Rule: The fundamental principle of renku is that the current verse (tsukeku) must connect to the preceding verse (maeku), but it must strictly avoid any thematic or visual link to the uchikoshi (the “leap-over” verse).

2.
Preventing Stagnation: The rule of avoiding uchikoshi (uchikoshi no kirai) ensures the poem progresses and prevents it from becoming stuck in a stagnant loop or reusing a previous subject.

3.
“Link and Shift”: While the poem must make sense from stanza to stanza, uchikoshi helps maintain the “shift” in perspective, ensuring the poem does not become a static, repetitive narrative.

4.
Example: If verse A is uchikoshi, verse B is maeku, and you are writing verse C (tsukeku), your verse must relate to B but move away from the imagery or theme used in A

Attempting to grasp these subtle nuances will aid you in deciphering this 400-year-old collaborative linked verse poetry.

Enjoy the journey!

_kala

Purple Haze

purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches                   pc

a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral                    jd

an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer                             sa

Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo         mm

Renkujin so far in this renku are:
hokku: Pauline O’ Carolan – spring
wakiku: John Daleiden – spring
daisan: Sanjuktaa Asopa – no season
4^th verse: Mohua Maulik – no season

Now for the shortlist: just 48 poems this time from 18 poets.

a cacophonous
cicada chorus chirps
all afternoon

John Daleiden

I really liked this because the cicada (insect) is a new topic, and cicada is a summer seasonal word. However, it leans more towards music and sound, which we already have in Mohua’s verse. Keep this as a ‘pocket’ verse for another renku!

there’s a pile
of abandoned beer bottles
on the hot sand

Pauline O’Carolan

This is fresh. A new topic introduced. It paints a nice summer picture. But I can’t take it, because Pauline already has a verse in this renku. Please continue to offer your candidates.

the parched earth
finds a respite
in the tree’s deep shade

Debbie Scheving

This is a good in-between verse in a renku, but again (to me) it refers back to Sanjuktaa’s verse.

an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer

I found a similarity between the key at the bottom of the drawer and the earth finding respite in the tree’s deep shadow; hence, I couldn’t select it. In renku, we call this uchikoshi. I’ve explained uchikoshi in my introduction notes above.

at the outdoor concert
the musicians sweat
in the lingering heat

Christopher Seep

Nice summer verse, and it evokes images of an Indian outdoor concert. But with Beethoven, we have moved beyond verses about music. Remember in renku, we don’t repeat topics.

a thunderclap
pulls the rolling hills
into stillness

Anju Kishore

This is a nice and strong monsoon verse (or end of summer in the Japanese saijiki). However, I had clearly requested that none of you writes about blossom, moon, rain, seasons (unless specifically stated), or love, because each has its own specific slot. Always read the schema before composing a verse for any of the slots.

an evening downpour
broke the
unbearable heat

Scott Anderson

as a fly to honey
the sweet scent of
summer pudding

Melissa Dennison

sea turtle
burrowing through soft sand
into evening’s lull

Madeleine Kavanagh

Now to the selected summer verse for slot # 5.

Congratulations to VJ Green for this quiet verse.

spinning wheel thread
unwinds from the spindle
in summer heat

VJ Green

I like this. It’s a new topic. It’s clearly summer. The word ‘spinning’ suggests movement and makes me think of a mind whirling to Beethoven’s symphony. Then, suddenly… the other words and images shift from music to the peaceful, beautiful act of a spinning wheel unwinding thread from the spindle.

We’ve all seen this image. It’s a familiar picture, but it’s well presented and fits the context perfectly.

Congratulations, V J Green!

***

Now we move on to the 6^th slot.

Please read the schema:
Junicho: a twelve-verse renku (collaborative poetry)

hokku – spring blossom

wakiku – spring

daisan – cut away verse – no season (ns)

4 short – ns

5 long – summer (just chosen)

                         6 short: love – no season

7 long – love winter

8 short – ns

9 long – end summer (monsoon in India!)

10 short – ns

11 long – autumn moon

12 short – ageku – autumn

* Please remember: you should only offer blossom, moon, love, season verses, rain, and so on during the specific slots provided in the schema.

If you had read this schema carefully, many of you wouldn’t have sent me rain verses in the summer slot, because our 9th verse is a monsoon verse!

Around 60% of the candidates for this slot were on thunder, lightning and rain.

For the 6^th verse, our requirements are:

1. Read the schema!!
2. It’s a no-season LOVE verse. Love verses in renku are about adult love, not pets or children.
3. This verse concerns falling in love.
4. It’s purely a human verse.
5. It’s a short two-line verse, roughly 10 to 12 syllables long.
6. Introduce a new topic, something that hasn’t been explored yet.
7. Link to the spinning wheel and the images in Green’s verse, but shift away from Mohua’s Beethoven verse completely, and do not repeat any word or image from the verses above. Please remember: renku always moves forward. It is non-thematic and has variety.

Purple Haze

purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches                   pc

a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral                    jd

an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer                             sa

Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo         mm

spinning wheel thread
unwinds from the spindle
in summer heat                        vjg

Renkujin so far in this renku are:
hokku: Pauline O’ Carolan – spring
wakiku: John Daleiden – spring
daisan: Sanjuktaa Asopa – no season
4^th verse: Mohua Maulik – no season

5^th verse: VJ Green – summer

The renku is developing very well. Thanks to each and every one of you.

I’ll wait for your offers. The window closes each Monday, and my selection, along with the requirements for the next verse, will be posted here every Thursday.

Have fun!
I would like to see more candidates in my mail box this week!

Your sabaki,
_kala

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