The Renku Sessions: Pilgrims' Stride 8
Welcome to The Renku Sessions. Renku is a participatory literary game, following a set of rules that are implemented by the leader of the session. If you would like to learn more about renku go here. And if you would like to see a sample of a complete renku, go here.
I’m John Stevenson, and I will serve as your guide for this session, a thirty-six verse (kasen) renku. I have supplied the opening verse (hokku) and each week I will select an additional verse from among those submitted prior to the Tuesday deadline.
Twenty-four poets offered eighty-three love verses! There were so many creative approaches to the challenge of our first love verse that I can’t do them all justice here. As a small sample, I’ll mention that I was taken by Jennifer Sutherland’s use of an emoticon. Let’s try that again later. Also, Jennifer’s idea of “invisible ink” was promising and her “Mr. Darcy / Mr. Bean” got a literal laugh out loud from me. I also enjoyed Christopher Patchel’s speed dating verses. Other temptations included verses by Christopher Herold and Aalix Roake (bride and bride / groom and groom). I think that a version of Karen Cesar’s “velvet couch” would have been a contender had she not been the author of the leap-over verse.
Our eighth verse comes from Norman Darlington. It registers unambiguously as a love verse and, dealing with youth, it renders us great assistance in making the next love verse progressive in time.
Here is the verse you must link to:
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones–Norman Darlington
The next verse, the ninth, is our second love verse of the renku. Everything I said about love verses in my last post continues to apply. In addition, this verse should represent a later phase of a love relationship–easily done here since verse eight deals with a strong initial attraction among young people. While your verse will reflect a later phase of love, you are not creating a narrative and will need to take care to also shift with your images. Here are the formal requirements for verse nine:
- Non-seasonal (avoids any topics assigned to a specific season in our list of season words)
- Written in three lines, without a cut
- Linking with the eighth verse, and only the eighth verse–but not as the direct continuation of a “story”
- Shifting widely to a new topic and setting relating to love between adult people
Add your suggested three-line link below, in the Comments box. You have until midnight EST, Tuesday, April 29, 2014. You may submit as many verses as you like, but please use a new comment box for each one. I will announce my selection for the next link on Thursday, May 1 here on the blog, and provide information and instructions for submitting the next link.
What We’ll Be Looking For — Throughout the Session
There are many schematic outlines for a kasen renku. We will be using one set out by Professor Fukuda in his book Introduction to World-linking Renku. It will not be necessary for you to have a copy of this book since instructions will be offered before each verse is solicited.
It is a good idea for those participating in the composition of a renku to make use of the same list of season words. There are a number of these lists available and I intend no judgment of their relative value. For purposes of this session I am suggesting the use of The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words.
Pilgrims’ Stride to Date
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines–
pilgrims’ stride–John Stevenson
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt–Billie Wilson
dampened soil
of seed trays
in the glasshouse–Margaret Beverland
grandmother’s silverware
polished every monday–Polona Oblak
a sonata
on the concert Steinway
played to the moon–Lorin Ford
a dragonfly hovers
over the swaying reeds–Karen Cesar
slight hum
of a drone
in fog–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones–Norman Darlington
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slight hum
of a drone
in fog
–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
daybreak,
the Djinn in a bottle
vanished with the sultry night
Thank you, everyone. I have my work cut out for me! See you here tomorrow.
in Amsterdam
they go to a porn film
just for the craic
In Ireland, if something is done ‘just for the craic’ (pronounced ‘crack’) it means for no particular reason other than for a laugh or a bit of fun
she declares
that their son has inherited
his stubbornness
her cold shoulder
the first time
he forgets
in Amsterdam
they visit the museum
of sex
the atmosphere
thick with pheromones
in the birthing pool
they hold hands
and wait
slight hum
of a drone
in fog
–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
the next morning
her second garter
missing in action
slight hum
of a drone
in fog
–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
back at his penthouse
he finds her haute couture ball gown’s zipper
missing
here’s looking
at Casablanca
un-colorized
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
the aahs
when he says “you may
kiss the bride”
– lulu becker
learning to tango
he dances to another
tune
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
quick!
some one call
the fire brigade!
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
a glass of Moët
as the ink dries
on her divorce paper
revisions (sorry for the clutter)
Waking at night . . .
still comforted
by his quiet breath
OR
More champagne
their wedding night timidity
dissolves
after twenty years
the set of monogrammed towels
breaks up
(wow, I’m Debbie Downer today! Seriously, I have a good relationship!)
the scent of his cologne
subtle spice with a hint
of liniment
mood music
what to choose for a night
of Scrabble
her fingers
in his up
the winding staircase
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
– Norman Darlington
getting a buzz on
he blows smoke through
her lips
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
– Norman Darlington
more sighs
less moans, their lovemaking
a memory
more sighs
less moans, their lovemaking
a memory
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
-Norman Darlington
dawn lit
as our tea steeps
the ruby red grapefruit is gleaming
-Patrick Sweeney
silver chest hair
but his heart still beats faster
under her hand
More champagne
and their wedding night shyness
dissolves in giggles
As they dance
to an old song their kids
pretend disgust
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
Waking at night
she is still comforted
by his quiet breath
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
in the crystal ballroom
a couple swing
from the chandelier
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
my resolve undone
by the lure of that brogue
and his Irish stew
Lorin Ford
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
who could resist
the lure of that brogue
and his Irish stew?
Lorin Ford
perched
on his Lambretta you could see
her knickers
the stuttering arrival
of his two stroke scooter
quickens her pulse
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
who could resist
the warmth of that brogue
and his Irish stew?
– Lorin
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
he wins her with
that irresistible brogue
and Irish stew
– Lorin
occupying
her every thought
despite his uniform
slight hum
of a drone
in fog
–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
quick to blame
one another for a failure
to conceive
– Karen Cesar
“Ask your doctor
if your heart
is healthy enough…”
slight hum
of a drone
in fog
–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
mesmerized by
the fast fingers of
the pin ball wizard
-Karen Cesar
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
-Norman Darlington
he squeezes my hand
a little tighter
in the birthing room
-Alice Frampton
sneaking up
to the bedroom while the kids
are away in college
sneaking up
to the bedroom while the kids
are in college
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
arriba arriba!
grandpa tries
some spanish fly
a little nervous
only when the lights
went out
tobacco smells
permeate the back row
at the flicks
losing count
of the cars
down lovers’ lane
remarkably,
even the plastic flowers
stole my heart
her come-on wink
before leaping
into the rock pool
at the bus stop
he lets me bite
his Dagwood Dog
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
drowning in that kiss
as the waves keep on coming,
keep on coming
– Lorin
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
eternity’s kiss
as the waves keep on coming
keep on coming
– Lorin
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
a kiss on the beach
as the waves keep on coming
keep on coming
– Lorin
at the anniversary party
they kiss
next to the steaming soup tureen
at their anniversary party
he kisses her
over the steaming soup tureen
at their anniversary party
he kisses her
over the soup tureen
at the wedding reception
he kisses her
over the soup tureen
the secret lovers
squeeze each other’s knees
under the table
slight hum
of a drone
in fog
–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
in the reel world
of cinema, our love
lives forever
– Karen Cesar
one for fun (or maybe not) 😉
slight hum
of a drone
in fog
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
second thoughts
as he gets prepped
for vasectomy
Yes, I am confused three lines, not two … Oy vey!
five months along
my ankles just beginning
to swell
sheesh 🙂
slight hum
of a drone
in fog
–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
five months along
my ankles begin to swell
– Karen Cesar
* oops 2 lines, not three soooo … shorten and reformat
slight hum
of a drone
in fog
–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
five months along
my ankles just beginning
to swell
– Karen Cesar
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
harmonising scents
of bergamot and musk on
on their anniversary
-Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
a lithograph marriage
certificate portrays a
couple on a lake
-Dru Philippou
Sorry, folks, I’m on a roll here.
Just a minor correction to my ku offer:
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
steaming off the stamps
from his old love letters
the room’s warm again
-Cristian Mocanu
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
circa 1940’s picture
of my mother’s
wedding day
-Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
sepia photograph
of a wedding couple reduced
at a yard sale
-Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
adding texture
to a tintype wedding image
I find at the yard sale
-Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
sepia photograph
of a wedding couple
at the garage sale
-Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
Apologies – corrected version
sepia photo album
of a couple over
the years
-Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
lighted candles
wind up the staircase
on their anniversary
-Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
on their anniversary
candles were lit up
the circular staircase
-Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
at the yard sale
I find a sepia photograph
of a wedding couple
-Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
she brings out
the photo album
sepia photo album
of a couple over
the years
– Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
the room is filled
with gold lighting on
their anniversary
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
the room filled
with gold lighting on
their anniversary
-Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
fragrant candles
mark each year of
their anniversary
-Dru Philippou
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
harmonising scents
of bergamot and musk on
their diamond anniversary
-Dru Philippou
Hello everyone, I’m glad to post here for the first time.Here’s my offer for ku#9:
9.
steaming off the stamps
from his old love letters
the room’s hot again
Cristian Mocanu
Thank you Dafne! I am a complete novice to renku too and not sure whether what I have been submitting so far is ok or so off the mark! It looks so effortless when you read it but fitting in the exact verse must be a hard decision for John. The one that I participated on Facebook is just fitting in any three lines followed by two lines, etc. and I thought that was all to it! I’ve learned so much during these past two weeks I’ve been here and will stick around to learn more.
Asni
I was driving most of yesterday and will be driving again for much of today. Just catching up a bit, I am impressed that after just the first day there are so many good offers for verse nine. My process is to write out each verse in a separate document and to mark those that I consider potential finalists in red, so that I can work with just those in making a final selection. Ten people have made offers, so far. I have “red” verses from eight of them!
wishing
she could put another coin
in Al’s jukebox
her tears
as she tries to recall
their song
she sprays him with cologne
as he ducks
and laughs
please sing my verse if reading aloud
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
♩♬ a love song
dedication
on late night radio ♬ ♪
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
♩♬ a love song
dedication
on late night radio ♬ ♪
#8
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
#9
I stumble
trying to reply
“I plight thee my troth.”
– Paul MacNeil
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
in the darkest
part of the cave
reaching for his hand
– Sandra Simpson
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
so delicious!
bathing together
by candlelight
– Sandra Simpson
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
with both arms now
she guides her sweetheart
across the threshold
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
with both arms now
he guides his sweetheart
across the threshold
they kiss
in the pantry
while the kids eat breakfast
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
– Norman Darlington
her patience
with all his affairs
wearing thin
– Shrikaanth Krishnamurthy
—-
Hello everyone, this is my first post here. I have added my verse as a possibility for the ninth verse.
for the length
of the love scene
no subtitles
love scenes
too R-rated
for my folks
cane in one hand
she grasps his arm
with the other
they walk
into the Doctor’s office
holding hands
they kiss in the pantry
while the kids
eat breakfast
she sprays him
with new cologne
as he runs away
Apologies for the duplicates
Karen
Too bad we can’t edit:
slight hum
of a drone
in fog
–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
together so much
our menstrual cycles
synchronize
– Karen Cesar
slight hum
of a drone
in fog
–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
–Norman Darlington
together so much
our menstrual cycles
synchronize
– Karen Cesar
* too bad we can’t edit
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
-Norman Darlington
while he gets coffee
she finds some undies
in the glove box
-Alice Frampton
slight hum
of a drone
in fog
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones
together so long
our menstrual cycles
synchronize
A short but encouraging note to the less experienced renku participants.
Don’t be dismayed if your offer has not been chosen, or be deterred from submitting one. The verses that have been chosen or almost-chosen were written by very experienced and well-known haikuists. A simple Google search for each name is confirmation of their years of involvement in this genre. For this group, John’s renku is a competition among peers.
That is not a bad thing, of course, because those of us who are learners can benefit greatly, not only from the verses that a chosen but inspired, perhaps, to learn more about the complexities and subtleties (and there are many) of renku.
John Stevenson promised a challenge, an education, and most of all, fun. So far it has been all three. For the novices, it is the fun aspect – just submitting something – that should sustain your interest. It has mine.
dafne