The Renku Sessions: Pilgrims' Stride 4

Comments (121)

1. I didn’t realize, before starting, how hard these choices would be. But I am grateful, if humbled, to find that you have made them so. To be resumed on Thursday morning!

2. grandmother’s silverware
   polished every Monday
   — Polona Oblak

   raindrops shimmer
   in the early morning sunlight –
   this spring day

   (c) Chèvrefeuille

3. grandmother’s silverware
   polished every Monday
   — Polona Oblak

   teenager dreams
   the secrets shared
   under a moonless sky

4. grandmother’s silverware
   polished every Monday
   — Polona Oblak

   the moonless garden
   where the old man planted
   his last apple tree

5. grandmother’s silverware
   polished every Monday

   the space station
   crossing the dateline
   with the moon

6. a moonshadow
   of my younger self
   still following

7. a moonshadow
   and a childhood song
   follow me

8. grandmother’s silverware
   polished every monday

   her childhood
   in Ireland even the moon
   of chipped porcelain

9. A beautiful haiku, Alan. Dru

   a boy changes
   his telescope into
   a moon ladder

   –Alan Summers

10. swiping she clears her
    face in the steamy mirror
    along with the moon

11. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday
    — Polona Oblak

    keeping the frogs up
    all night in the shining pond—
    mid-summer moon

12. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

    a boy changes
    his telescope into
    a moon ladder

    –Alan Summers

13. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

    hunter’s moon
    a trail of blood
    behind the werewolf

    Jennifer Sutherland

14. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

    hunter’s moon
    a werewolf leaves
    his victim dying

    Jennifer Sutherland

15. Oops – forgot it should have been three lines

    rustling
    of a field mouse beneath
    an oxblood moon

16. a fieldmouse rustles
    beneath an oxblood moon

17. last one

    full moon shines
    over the orchard
    rusty red leaves

18. one more:

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    a sonata
    on the concert Steinway
    played to the moon

    – Lorin Ford

19. the full mom shines
    over the orchard
    rusty red leaves

20. over the orchard
    the moon shines
    rusty red leaves

21. the moon shines
    over the orchard
    rusty red leaves

22. a moonshadow
    and a favorite oldie
    follow me

23. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    an old favourite
    on the concert Steinway
    in time for the moon

    – Lorin Ford

24. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    the same sonata
    on the concert Steinway
    the same old moon

    – Lorin Ford

25. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    in time for moonrise
    a sonata
    on the concert Steinway

    – Lorin Ford

26. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    a sonata
    on the concert Steinway
    in time for the moon

    – Lorin Ford

27. the moon
    floats free from the haze
    of city light

28. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    – Polona Oblak

    each phase
    of the moon parses
    a memory
    – dafne

29. chipped full moon
    hanging in the fork
    of a dry tree

30. windblown corn silk
    filling up the chips
    of the moon

31. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    –Polona Oblak

    the leaves have grown out
    just in time for robins
    to set up house

32. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday

    –Polona Oblak

    yews
    in the cemetery shiver
    points of moonlight

    Sonam Chhoki

33. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday
    –Polona Oblak
    .
    playing
    moonlight sonata
    at the clubhouse gig

34. another version

    morning moon
    the billboard girl’s smile
    washed out

35. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    –Polona Oblak

    morning moon
    the billboard girl’s smile
    fading

36. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday

    Polona Oblak

    a sonic boom
    over the flight deck
    shatters the moon

    Ron C. Moss

37. and to go in a slightly different direction

    in the moonlight
    red leaves
    rustle

    rust in previous comments suggested it, thanks, Terri

38. then again, maybe

    red leaves
    wave silently
    in the moonlight

39. Maybe this is better than my earlier

    red leaves
    wave without sound
    in the moonlight

40. or

    in the junk yard
    old car fenders reflect
    rusted moons

41. or

    at the junk yard
    old car fenders reflect
    rusty full moons

42. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblaka

    at the junk yard
    an old Chevy fender reflects
    the rusted moon

43. dampened soil
    of seed trays
    in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    at the rehearsal
    the moon
    right on cue

    – Lorin Ford

44. in the woods
    by the river
    The owl’s moon eyes

45. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

    reflecting the sun
    midnight moon perches high
    above the pass

46. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

    the moon reveals
    our midnight rendezvous
    in the graveyard

47. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

    in the moonlight
    old oak stained cabinets
    glow

48. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday

    by the light
    of this big, orange moon
    a jaunty fox …

    – Sandra Simpson

49. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

    a sip of Masala chai
    and the moon shifts shadows
    for a mime show

    –Alan Summers

50. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

    the moon
    is breaking free
    of the filigree

    –Alan Summers

51. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

    the shoemaker
    adding his own dust
    to moon dreams

    –Alan Summers

52. or maybe

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    –Polona Oblak

    caught in the mirror
    my reflection
    and the moon’s

    -Jennifer Sutherland

53. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    –Polona Oblak

    caught in the mirror
    my reflection
    and the moon

    -Jennifer Sutherland

54. red leaves
    waving quietly
    in the moonlight

55. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    -Polona Oblak

    With the moon so near
    I keep both hands
    at my sides

    -Patrick Sweeney

56. dampened soil
    of seed trays
    in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    for a bush poet
    the moonlight
    and a magpie’s song

    – Lorin Ford

57. dampened soil
    of seed trays
    in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    on a bushman’s tent
    the moonlight
    and a magpie’s song

    (for John Shaw Neilson)

    – Lorin Ford

58. the tortoiseshell cat
    runs low across
    the moonlit path

59. dampened soil
    of seed trays
    in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    dampened soil
    of seed trays
    in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    on a poet’s tent
    the moonlight
    and a magpie’s song

    – Lorin Ford

    (for John Shaw Neilson … had to do it)
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaw_Neilson

    http://www.poetrylibrary.edu.au/poets/neilson-john-shaw/the-magpie-in-the-moonlight-0037070

60. the tortoiseshell
    through the cat flap
    into the moonlit night

61. dampened soil
    of seed trays
    in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    even carousers
    pause to remark
    on the moon’s halo

    Lorin Ford

62. dampened soil
    of seed trays
    in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    high above
    the cathedral spire
    a haloed moon

    Lorin Ford

63. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday
    –Polona Oblak
    .
    the weatherman
    expands
    on the moon cycle

64. blue moon
    and a carefree night
    on the town

65. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

    autumn moon sees
    all the lost things
    from the tornado

66. clouds crossing the moon
    she uncovers just enough
    to nurse her infant

67. under a new moon
    she uncovers just enough
    to nurse her infant

68. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    glint of moonlight
    in the amber eye
    of an alpha male – Marion Clarke

69. surface of reflection
    moist southern skies
    maidens of the moon

70. grandmother’s silverware

    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak
    .
    roasted chestnuts
    from the street vendor’s
    moonlit stall

71. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday

    –Polona Oblak

    trading tales
    about all the colours
    of the moon

72. Sorry, I see now too many apostrophes … and I’m forgetting to sign my ku, so apologies for that too!

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    –Polona Oblak

    heeding the cry
    of the carnie & rolling up
    this big old moon

    – Sandra Simpson

73. pinned above
    the dentist’s chair
    the moon landings

74. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    –Polona Oblak

    tonight’s moon
    heeding the carnie’s cry
    & rolling up

75. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    –Polona Oblak

    tonight’s moon
    somehow making his promises
    believable

76. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    –Polona Oblak

    promising all
    the usual things,
    a moonlit carnival

77. over the moon
    about their baby’s
    first steps

    (I’m guessing the use of idioms is cheating but I couldn’t resist)

78. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    -Polona Oblak

    Panthalassa sky…
    favoring one side
    I capsized the moon

    -Patrick Sweeney

79. dining on quince
    by moonlight
    with a runcible spoon – Scott Mason

    the cow jumped over the moon
    read aloud
    by my computer – Chris Patchel

    the man in the moon’s
    uncanny resemblance
    to Uncle Edward

80. the cow jumped over the moon
    read aloud
    by my computer

81. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    –Polona Oblak

    by the light of the moon
    he helps her untangle
    her long white hair

82. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    –Polona Oblak

    (slight change from the other entry)

    through moonlight
    the neighbor’s flute song
    repeating itself

83. he clinks his wine glass
    and lifts it
    toward the moon

84. Christopher,

    Formatting seems to be undependable. Perhaps you could add a note about formatting, e.g. “’way to post’ should be italicized.” I’m not sure that italics will work in the opening but never say never. And we will quite possibly want this later, if not now.

85. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every monday
    –Polona Oblak

    through moonlight
    the neighbor’s flute song
    repeats itself

86. the moonlit clatter
    of my midnight snack
    all over the kitchen floor

87. Is there a way to post in italics?

    Testing:
    italic text

88. a challenging one to link to Polona – in a good way!! :-)

89. all those stories
    shining in the attic
    moonlight

90. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday

    chaff rises
    from the threshing floor
    flits in moonbeams

91. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday

    chaff rising
    from the threshing floor
    flits in moonbeams

92. We are off and running again! Just a few reminders / hints: (1) be careful about using words (other than articles, prepositions, etc.) that have already been used (“stone” for instance) (2) since a stream has been invoked in verse two, please hold off on other bodies of water for a while (3) any verse that contains a dash or ellipsis is likely to have a “cut” (the cut should be between verses, not within them). Thanks!

93. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday

    beams of moonlight
    cross the stone-lined
    threshing floor

94. dampened soil
    of seed trays
    in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    granddad’s secret
    a moonshine still
    in the woods

    Jennifer Sutherland

95. grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday

    the moon
    tosses its coins
    along the shore

96. the camera captures
    moonlight on a pewter sea
    and an owl in flight

97. pierced reed –
    the wind plays a flute
    under the moon

98. dampened soil
    of seed trays
    in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    four hands
    at the concert Steinway
    play for the moon

    Lorin Ford

99. dampened soil
    of seed trays
    in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

    grandmother’s silverware
    polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

    four hands
    at the concert Steinway
    interpret the moon

    – Lorin Ford

100. dampened soil
     of seed trays
     in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

     grandmother’s silverware
     polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

     rising above
     its wrinkled reflection
     tonight’s moon

     Lorin Ford

101. Oop, i missed Autumn moon too

102. Whooops, cancel that:

     “The next verse, the fifth, is an autumn moon verse. . . . “

103. dampened soil
     of seed trays
     in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

     grandmother’s silverware
     polished every Monday –Polona Oblak

     rising above
     its wrinkled reflection
     the spring moon

     Lorin Ford

104. he remembers
     making hobo coffee
     in the moonlight

105. silver bowls
     gleam moon-glazed
     in a night market

     Dawn Bruce

106. in the pool
     my son’s image
     my image

107. grandmother’s silverware
     polished every monday

     –Polona Oblak

     in a moonlit ring
     the sumo recites a prayer
     with a toss of sacred salt

     Ron C. Moss

108. Yes, Paul, lots of ways to link to the preceding verse (maeku) and with so many potential contributors to this renku, it has to be competitive and it’s absolutely necessarily that there is one Sabaki and Sabaki rules. :-) It may be an advantage to have worked with a particular sabaki previously, as the link, as well as other considerations, is ultimately in the mind of the sabaki. We all rely on that.

     You’ve got me wrong, though: I didn’t intend to indicate that your verse involved prior offers as ‘seeds’ or inspiration. It clearly didn’t. It was an original verse of your own that linked to the maeku. What I said was a ‘by the way’: it might have been or (better) I could interpret your verse as being *also* a comment / allusion to some candidate verses posted that seemed to have been inspired (used as seeds) by previously posted candidate verses . . . taking someone else’s idea and adding one’s own twist to it.

     I hope I’ve been able to clear this up with you now.

109. Thanks, Lorin. But no, I’d never involve a submitted try to a Sabaki with some prior unaccepted stanzas. I write with John in person every year, perhaps several renku, and we use a Democratic method = no Sabaki. Each member of the group approves the verse proposed by the member whose turn it is (assigned). Lots of ways to write a renku. Lots of ways to link, too, as John is teaching all of us. See Fukuda-sensei, Higginson’s website, and Carley’s, too. As John just taught, the link is in a way in the eye of the writer. A Sabaki, or a Democratic group may see it that way or find additional other links. A verse is “accepted” when a group of a leader says so. Can always be more than one linkage — adds subtlety to the whole. – Paul

110. Well, this was a pleasant surprise, and much appreciated.
     By the way, I have no objections to possibly capitalising Monday and/or Grandmother if it better suits the style of the kasen (but i suppose there’s plenty of time left to make that decision)

     As for the link (hope this helps a little, Ruth), one of my thoughts was indeed along the lines of repetitive work (as John so aptly observed). Other possibilities would be the associacion of tray and silver, and generations: new (seedlings) vs. old (grandmother).

111. “. . . this refers to turning to a different meaning of the word “seed.” As opposed to starting plants to grow, consider “seed money.” I appreciate that you asked, “– Paul

     Thanks for explaining this link, Paul. I sort of got it, but wasn’t sure that it wasn’t just me reading into it. :-) When I first read it, I wondered if it was an allusion to what was happening on the thread: verses offered in previous posts being used as ‘seed verses’ by others who posted later.

112. granmother’s silverware
     polished every monday

     –Polona Oblak

     Shouldn’t that be ‘grandmother’s silverware’ ?

113. Dear Ruth,

     Glad to answer re: linking of my former candidate verse to Margaret’s accepted daisan (#3).

     the loan officer accepts
     my business application
     – Paul MacNeil

     . . . this refers to turning to a different meaning of the word “seed.” As opposed to starting plants to grow, consider “seed money.” I appreciate that you asked, – Paul

114. Thank you, Sandra, for your reply. I do see now how your offer linked interestingly to #3’s verse. Unfortunately, for the others, not so much, even with John’s respectful explanations. And perhaps that’s what may be difficult for me, not wanting a tangent that needs to be defined.

115. Hi Ruth,

     All I can say about my candidate verse is that glasshouses to me suggest something old-fashioned, most people in my country now use plastic houses as they’re easier to maintain and offer better insulation, etc – so the link in *my mind* is between something old (glasshouse) and something old (the 78 record).

     Sabaki often see other things in candidate verses and that’s okay too.

116. Hi, Ruth. As I said about Polona Oblak’s verse, the final word on the intended linkage belongs to the poet. That said, I would suggest that many of the other verses I mentioned link “glass” to other forms or attributes of glass or to the concept of transparency. Kris Moon’s verse also links to the miniature sequential – seeds in seed trays and individual bubbles in bubble-wrap. One might picture some of the same fingers that poked holes for seeds involved later in popping bubble-wrap. I don’t know that any of the poets had these particular things in mind. And there are many other potential linkages. We don’t need to be exhaustive about links but it does help to be specific. Thanks for this question!

117. John,

     If this renku is also a teachable moment, perhaps you could help some of us see the link to #3* for those you “commended” for #4.

     the hiss and crackle
     of our favourite 78
     – Sandra Simpson

     the loan officer accepts
     my business application
     – Paul MacNeil

     spectacles placed atop
     the astronomer’s head
     – Scott Mason

     a kid with bubble-wrap
     pops each one in succession
     – Kris Moon

     a family stares
     from a glossy photograph
     – Dru Philippou

     a progress bar
     for the jpeg upload*
     – Chris Patchel
     (I got this one.)

     * dampened soil
     of seed trays
     in the glasshouse
     –Margaret Beverland

118. a gibbous moon
     stretched out against the stillness
     of Crater Lake

119. grandmother’s silverware
     polished every monday
     —Polona Oblak

     through moonlight
     the coyote’s falsetto
     near the chicken coop

120. 4.
     grandmother’s silverware
     
polished every monday

     –Polona Oblak

     5.
     my imagination
     and blotchy craters
     making a moon face

     – Paul MacNeil

121. dining on quince
     by moonlight
     with a runcible spoon

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