Renku Sessions

The Renku Sessions: Pilgrims' Stride 3

renkuchainWelcome to The Renku Sessions. Renku is a participatory literary game, following a set of rules that are implemented by the leader of the session. If you would like to learn more about renku go here. And if you would like to see a sample of a complete renku, go here.

I’m John Stevenson, and I will serve as your guide for this session, a thirty-six verse (kasen) renku. I have supplied the opening verse (hokku) and each week I will select an additional verse from among those submitted prior to the Tuesday deadline.

I offer my continued gratitude for the generous participation of poets. Thirty-two offered a total of sixty-nine verses this time. In the future, I may mention a couple of “runners-up” for my selections but, at least this time, there were too many candidates for that to be a practical option.

Our third verse (daisan) has been supplied by Margaret Beverland. It meets the basic requirements by being written in three lines, with a spring season reference (seedlings), featuring an indoor setting, and containing no cut. Actually, the original offer did contain a mild cut, which the author has revised at my request. It also has a light, forward-looking tone, which feels right for the prologue. These are what I would consider prerequisites. The factor that puts this verse at the top of my list is the use of an English-language idiom from a different part of the world than those occupied by the authors of the hokku and wakiku. It thus represents a grand “push off” for the renku and celebrates the international quality of our collaboration. And, in addition to that, I am attracted to the way in which a new (to me) idiom for a familiar thing (what I would refer to as a greenhouse) tends to make the thing itself seem new and luminous.

Here is the verse you must link to:

dampened soil
of seed trays
in the glasshouse

    –Margaret Beverland

The next verse, the fourth, is a new challenge and opportunity. Here are the required elements:

  • Non-seasonal (containing no material from the season word list)
  • Written in two lines, without a cut
  • Linking with the third verse, and only the third verse
  • Shifting to a new topic and setting
  • Maintaining a tone appropriate to the prologue

Add your suggested two-line link below, in the Comments box. You have until midnight EST, Tuesday, March 25, 2014. You may submit as many verses as you like, but please use a new comment box for each one. I will announce my selection for the next link on Thursday, March 27 here on the blog, and provide information and instruction for submitting the next link.

What We’ll Be Looking For — Throughout the Session

    There are many schematic outlines for a kasen renku. We will be using one set out by Professor Fukuda in his book Introduction to World-linking Renku. It will not be necessary for you to have a copy of this book since instructions will be offered before each verse is solicited.

    It is a good idea for those participating in the composition of a renku to make use of the same list of season words. There are a number of these lists available and I intend no judgment of their relative value. For purposes of this session I am suggesting the use of The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words.

    Pilgrims’ Stride to Date

      comparing maps
      to the mountain shrines—
      pilgrims’ stride

        –John Stevenson

      a sun-warmed stone bridge
      over snowmelt

        –Billie Wilson

      dampened soil
      of seed trays
      in the glasshouse

        –Margaret Beverland

      This Post Has 91 Comments

      3. Thank you, everyone. Please come back on Thursday morning (east US time).

        This might be a good time to mention something that sometimes happens with a group of poets in renku composition. Sometimes, especially when we have been working on a verse together for a while, we may find ourselves linking to some of the offers rather than to the verse actually incorporated in the renku. This can become unconscious. For that reason, I commend it to your conscious consideration.

      5. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse
        –Margaret Beverland

        what’s for dinner?
        he just shrugs

        Jennifer Sutherland

      8. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        pollarded willows
        stems thrust upwards

      11. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse
        Margaret Berverland

        on this mysterious island
        neither peace nor war
        Vasile Moldovan

      15. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        –Margaret Beverland

        inside doormat
        needs shook out

      16. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        –Margaret Beverland

        soft sunset
        tinges the window

      17. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        –Margaret Beverland

        old radio crackles
        news of missing plane

        Sonam Chhoki

      19. a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt –Billie Wilson

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

        mother’s bread dough
        set to rise

        Lorin Ford

      23. a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt –Billie Wilson

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

        mother’s bread dough
        rising nicely

        Lorin Ford

      24. a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt –Billie Wilson

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

        wholemeal bread dough
        set aside to rise

        Lorin Ford

      25. a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt –Billie Wilson

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

        grime scrubbed off
        a lucky sixpence shines

        Lorin Ford

      28. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse Margaret Beverland

        after dinner
        the tastes of dark chocolate

      29. tire rubber, shoe leather
        and the Y of a branch

        or briefer:

        some inner-tube rubber
        and the Y of a branch

      30. A couple of futile revisions:

        headlights illumine
        a raccoon’s eyes

        a dollar stolen
        by the vending machine

      32. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        the squirrel cut off
        from its attic nest

      34. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        a family stares
        from a glossy photograph

      37. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        thumbpainting my thoughts
        turn on an ink sickle

      38. a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        grandmother’s silverware
        polished every monday

      39. oops, there’s a hyphen in the wakiku.
        another try…

        is this portrait taken
        with a wide angle lens?

      40. a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        this self-portrait taken
        with a wide angle lens

      41. where’s the edit button?

        That should have been:

        a kicked stone bounces
        along the gutter

      42. Oops, you already have “stone”

        an empty can bounces
        along the gutter

        (that maybe to far away?)

      44. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        -Margaret Beverland

        a day without touch
        snowfog’s six-foot-six

        -Patrick Sweeney

      47. since cats are a common theme, here is my related verse …

        the tap of cat claws
        on linoleum

      48. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        the one we’ve all heard
        about the honey cart

        – Sandra Simpson

        (Not sure how far afield the term is known:
        honey cart = night soil = excrement/manure collection)

      53. Polona – I suppose there may be different schools of thought about this. I am focusing, in this renku, on what I learned from Shinku Fukuda. He would have discouraged either place or person names in the opening section (prologue or jo).

      54. ‘the old tom cat’ is hard to top (among others), especially since it easily sets up the moon verse to follow.

      58. a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        the barmaid’s cheeks
        dimple as she smiles

      59. Thank you, John, I thought that one might be a bit over the top…
        Another question if you don’t mind: is the use of proper names appropriate at this stage?

      61. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        –Margaret Beverland

        spit and polish
        on brand new boots

        -Jennifer Sutherland

      63. comparing maps
        to the mountain shrines—
        pilgrims’ stride

        a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        the smell of rot
        from the sky burial

      64. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        the hiss and crackle
        of nana’s ‘Twilight Time’

        – Sandra Simpson

      65. Nice verse, Margaret, well done!

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        the hiss and crackle
        of our favourite 78

        – Sandra Simpson

      67. a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt –Billie Wilson

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

        how lucky to find
        this buried sixpence!

        Lorin Ford

      68. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        a vintage tea towel
        drying words

      69. Polona – Yes, that’s a little violent for the prologue. But tuck it away. It won’t be long before “anything goes.” (starting with verse 7)

      72. a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        Shaq’s slam dunk
        shatters the backboard

        – or is this too “wild” for the prologue?

      73. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

        silhouettes of possums
        peer from the roof

        – Lorin Ford

      74. a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt –Billie Wilson

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

        how lucky to find
        a sixpence in the mud!

        Lorin Ford

      75. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse –Margaret Beverland

        some more wear left
        in these gumboots

        Lorin Ford

      78. This is great! We are off to a really good start. I want to mention something that I see happening. Whether by design, instinct, or good fortune, several of you are offering fourth verses that could be excellent set-ups for the fifth verse, which will feature an autumn moon image. I haven’t been advising you of the nature of the upcoming verse but perhaps I should from now on, since it can be a creative factor and an enjoyable aspect of the game. It’s like “setting” the volleyball for another player to spike.

      82. dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        –Margaret Beverland

        spectacles placed atop
        the astronomer’s head

      83. 3.
        dampened soil

        of seed trays
        
in the glasshouse

        –Margaret Beverland

        4.
        the loan officer accepts
        my business application

        – Paul MacNeil

      85. comparing maps
        to the mountain shrines—
        pilgrims’ stride

        –John Stevenson
        a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt

        –Billie Wilson

        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        –Margaret Beverland

        green jello under
        a plastic dome

        –Terri L. French

      86. comparing maps
        to the mountain shrines—
        pilgrims’ stride

        –John Stevenson
        a sun-warmed stone bridge
        over snowmelt

        –Billie Wilson
        dampened soil
        of seed trays
        in the glasshouse

        –Margaret Beverland

        harsh words sealed
        in a vellum envelope

        -Terri L. French

      87. a kid with bubble-wrap
        pops each one in succession

        ……..
        mom’s freshly baked muffins
        cool in perfect rows

      88. This is a fair question, Ruth, and one that should be asked in each instance, as we proceed. I would say that the link between “snowmelt” and “dampened soil” is very direct, almost sequential. We will want to employ a variety of linking styles as we go along. The hokku/wakiku link is usually very close and the wakiku/daisan link is quite close in this instance, so we may want to be imaginative about the daisan/verse four linking.

      90. Well, perhaps, John, you can answer a question I have about your choice for the third verse. When newbies like me read the information in the guided links you suggested, to learn about renku haiku, The Click of Mahjong Tiles, for example, lists an “object,” “meaning” or “scent” link in almost every verse. Can you point out what “link” there is in the third verse to the second verse of the renku we are working on? It would be interesting to know, because my offerings (though I haven’t submitted one) have tried to follow that charge.

      Comments are closed.

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