The Renku Sessions: Pilgrims' Stride 2
Welcome to The Renku Sessions. Renku is a participatory literary game, following a set of rules that are implemented by the leader of the session. If you would like to learn more about renku go here. And if you would like to see a sample of a complete renku, go here.
I’m John Stevenson, and I will serve as your guide for this session, a thirty-six verse (kasen) renku. I’ve supplied the opening verse (hokku), and have now selected a second verse (wakiku) from among those submitted prior to this past Tuesday’s deadline.
Thank you! We are off to a fabulous start, with 90 offers from 43 poets! While I must choose only one, I want to thank everyone and encourage you to keep playing. I will be including as many poets as possible in this session and the first round has been so encouraging that I hope everyone will stay with us, and even more will join in.
I have selected a wakiku offered by Billie Wilson. It fulfills all of the suggestions from my first posting and has the added virtue of being from a poet strongly associated with The Haiku Foundation. It can, therefore, be read as our host’s reply, saying something like, “THF is happy to provide support for part of this pilgrimage of poets.” And it embodies the renku concept of “link and shift”—the pilgrim road and the meltwater stream intersect at this point before each continues in its own way.
Here is the verse you must link to:
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt–Billie Wilson
The next verse, the third (daisan), is the “push off.” Professor Fukuda wrote, “After the exchange of greetings, the renku really starts with the third verse.” While it links to verse two (and only verse two), it also makes a clear shift of scene and subject matter. Here are some other things to keep in mind when writing this verse:
- this is also a spring verse
- three lines
- no “cut” (think of the cut as occurring between verses two and three)
- It would be good if this verse was an indoor image (the first two having been outdoors)
- maintain an appropriate tone (we are still in the opening sequence of six verses; the jo or prologue)
Add your suggested three-line link below, in the Comments box. You have until midnight EST, Tuesday, March 18, 2014. You may submit as many verses as you like, but please use a new comment box for each one. I will announce my selection for the next link on Thursday, March 20 here on the blog, and provide information and instruction for submitting the next link.
What We’ll Be Looking For — Throughout the Session
There are many schematic outlines for a kasen renku. We will be using one set out by Professor Fukuda in his book Introduction to World-linking Renku. It will not be necessary for you to have a copy of this book since instructions will be offered before each verse is solicited.
It is a good idea for those participating in the composition of a renku to make use of the same list of season words. There are a number of these lists available and I intend no judgment of their relative value. For purposes of this session I am suggesting the use of The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words.
Pilgrims’ Stride to Date
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride–John Stevenson
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt–Billie Wilson
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a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
— Billie Wilson
silo motes
rise into shafts of
spring light
— Dafne
I am enjoying reading the different contributions and versions. I am building my own picture/ scenario in my head and it is great to be transported into other worlds in just 3 lines 🙂 Really appreciate the guidance, thanks.
Thank you, everyone! We will pick this up again on Thursday morning (eastern US time).
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
Vivaldi’s masterpiece
glides into the CD player
but not before a tiny pause
– Sandra Simpson
twittering roar of
many treetop birds
white noise inside
behind the door
we find the last piece
of the broken cup
Marilyn Walker
holding a frog
the stone Buddha’s
begging bowl
Sonam Chhoki
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines–
pilgrims’ stride
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
Billie Wilson
behind the door
we find the last piece
of the broken cup
Marilyn Walker
One more day. We already have some good candidates but I’m always ready to consider new offers (until midnight, eastern US time)!
breathing in and out
the curtains come alive
with the afternoon breeze
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
sticky taped
to a school house window
paper butterflies
Jennifer Sutherland
Drat. Probably too close to the hokku.
however cliche
the leafing woods become
a cathedral
now a keepsake
her wand
for blowing bubbles
outside my window
balanced between this and that
the raven’s shadow
a butterfly
flutters across the threshold
to the museum
wild roses arc
above the soapstone vase
at dinner time
yellow eye
of a lonely dandelion
in the temple ruins
sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
children’s laughter
playing leapfrog
in the garden
Jennifer Sutherland
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
pattering
of chick’s feet
on the roof
pattering
of chick’s feet
on the roof
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
dust brushed
through the open door
blown back inside
Hey, Debbie. No apologies required. And I appreciate that the patience goes both ways!
Sorry about not keeping up with your tips, John. Missed the one about not including the moon yet! Thanks for your patience!
I just noticed my last link starts with ‘a,’ same as the wakiku. Hate when that happens.
the perfect fit of the chair
as the blue of evening
becomes night
(a moon reference being premature…)
a keepsake now
her wand
for blowing bubbles
he stirs
a double yolked egg
into his rice
soap bubbles shine
tiny rainbows arches
over dirty cups
hazy moon spilling
pale light onto table
mother pours tea
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride –John Stevenson
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
after lunch
removing our boots
to ford the river
a keepsake
of her in a photo booth
blowing bubbles
7 letters
another word for
green
(the act of guessing adds a lot for me)
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride –John Stevenson
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
first paper wasp
drones slowly into
the kitchen
Dru
3 across
a 7-letter word
for green
– Chris
verdant?
– L
Oh, sorry, pushed the button too soon!
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
first up
I choose the eggcup
like a hen
– Sandra Simpson
first up
I choose the eggcup
like a hen
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride –John Stevenson
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
on the side table
with a floor-length cloth
tadpoles in a jar
– Lorin Ford
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride –John Stevenson
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
on the side table
with a floor-length cloth
a jar of tadpoles
– Lorin Ford
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
tender green shoots
up from the earth where
buffalo grazed
* amended to avoid ‘roamed’ conflicting with the pilgrims’ journey. If only there were an edit button!
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
testing the waters
this willow branch
and my big toe
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
tender green shoots
up from the earth where
buffalo roamed
Oops. across/bridge = travel
3 across
a 7-letter word
for green
Whoops!
“One further note about Lorin’s question – in addition to the given season words from our list, please feel free to use other words or phrases that clearly indicate a season. We will need to be a little careful about this, however, because we are blessed to be writing with each other from many different locations, climates, and cultures. So we will have to use very broad strokes in order to be sure they can be read from a distance.” – John
Thanks for this consideration, John. I guess that this means, if we’re not being Japan-o-centric or pretending to live on a planet the shape of one half of a cut cantaloupe, that calendar references (such as the names of months or those holidays that’re observed world-wide) will not be considered as seasonal references. And to set that example for international renku would be a great thing. 🙂
– Lorin
“One further note about Lorin’s question – in addition to the given season words from our list, please feel free to use other words or phrases that clearly indicate a season.We will need to be a little careful about this, however, because we are blessed to be writing with each other from many different locations, climates, and cultures. So we will have to use very broad strokes in order to be sure they can be read from a distance.” – John
Thanks for this consideration, John. I guess that this means, if we’re not being Japan-o-centric or pretending to live on a planet the shape of one half of a cut cantaloupe, that calendar references (such as the names of months or those holidays that’re observed world-wide) will not be considered as seasonal references. And to set that example for international renku would be a great thing. 🙂
– Lorin
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride
–John Stevenson
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
–Billie Wilson
would you like
whitebait fries with that,
Sir and Madam?
😉
– Lorin
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
her basketful
of purple eggs
never to hatch
“One further note about Lorin’s question – in addition to the given season words from our list, please feel free to use other words or phrases that clearly indicate a season. ”
Thank you for adding this, John. It makes a big difference. I’d noted ku posted with clear or dubious seasonal references that aren’t on the list you specified (eg ‘spring cleaning’ & ‘percale’) and had wondered if the authors were wasting their time.
So, only general ‘season indicators’, words not particularly evocative of Japan or anything of Japanese origin, like sushi, even if we have it for a quick lunch most days. No indication of traveling from here to there by any means throughout the renku, as walking (in the hokku) is considered to be traveling. (And therefore, I’m guessing, no mention of legs or feet, either.)
But this last seems to beg the question of how we get out of Japan if we can’t travel! And what about the blossom verses? No Japan-evoking blossoms such as cherry blossoms or plum blossoms, but to have eg wattle blossoms or choke-cherry blossoms, we have to travel out of Japan.
I’m feeling somewhat overwhelmed!
– Lorin
yellow balloon
floats to the ceiling
after party glow
More really good verses since this morning, when I was in a dark train station trying to see my tiny cell phone keypad. One further note about Lorin’s question – in addition to the given season words from our list, please feel free to use other words or phrases that clearly indicate a season. We will need to be a little careful about this, however, because we are blessed to be writing with each other from many different locations, climates, and cultures. So we will have to use very broad strokes in order to be sure they can be read from a distance.
A note to Dru: I don’t feel that anyone’s verses “don’t count” and, later in the renku, I will make selections that put our pleasure above the considerations of a traditional “base line.” But I probably won’t do that in the opening (the first six verses) and I thought it only fair to say so.
I have heard people say that they don’t like renku because they don’t like all the rules. My feeling is that the rules can be a source of fun, once they are learned. But I’m aware that we are a mixed group of renku poets and I’ll be looking to balance my approach in order to provide enjoyment for both new and very experienced partners. I’m afraid, though, that this will require a degree of patience from everyone since there is no single approach that will be right for everyone at every point. My plan is to emphasize the foundation in the opening six verses and then to “loosen up” for the next twenty-four (the “ha”).
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
in Oklahoma
a mare gives birth
to a new colt
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
her recipe
for steamed red snapper
taken from the web
I missed session one and just read that blossoms and plants should be avoided in the jo, so I guess my three-liner will not count.
a sun-warmed stone bridge
Over snowmelt
a forsythia sprig
slipped beneath each
napkin ring
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
the cloud
from dusting whitebait
with flour
Sorry Lorin, not Login!
Login – I’m traveling and have just my phone. Briefly, the season word list contains both general terms, like snow, and Japan related terms, like doll festival. Please use the more general. More later today.
Oops – forgot to include the second verse:
a sun- warmed stone bridge
over snow melt
in the glass house
the dampened soil
of seed trays
I am new to this, so here goes:
in the glasshouse
the dampened soil
of seed trays
John, a query re
“3) The hokku contains a season reference that is particularly evocative of Japan. We should refrain from other evocations of Japan during the renku.”
If we are to use ‘The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words’ and no other source, formal or informal, to invoke season, as you’ve specified, it beats me how it would be possible to avoid evocations of Japan.
Would you mind explaining?
– Lorin
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
suddenly needing
to spring clean
I choose a green cloth
– Sandra Simpson
Hi Christopher P/ sabaki John,
Mrs Bud, the florist’s wife from a version of Happy Families (in my scenario somehow the card has got mixed in with a deck of regular playing cards).
If “Mrs Bud” is deemed an “invisible issue” she could become Mrs Bun, the baker’s wife if … things rising = spring?
Scott, and anyone who has written verses that we can’t use yet, hang onto those because, when we get to the love verses (or moon, or blossoms), we may be able to use those verses, as they are or with slight variations.
at last
it emerges as a butterfly
in time-lapse
I’m curious who Mrs Bud is
Oops . . . our postings crossed and I think I violated caution #2 in my latest offer . . . back to the writing board!
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
we feel
so much friskier
in percale
Wonderful creativity in evidence! I just want to make a few addition points about this verse:
1) The hokku features an image of travel (and the wakiku links to this aspect), so travel images are to be avoided, as is anything that tends to relate back to the hokku.
2) There are specified verses for certain topics (the moon, blossoms, love). Unless I give a cue to include one of these topics, please avoid them.
3) The hokku contains a season reference that is particularly evocative of Japan. We should refrain from other evocations of Japan during the renku.
My intention has been to go light on the “rules” and focus on having fun but many of you are writing wonderful verses that have “invisible” issues and I don’t want you to be in the dark about some of these matters.
slipping in
through an open window
the scent of red plum
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
my new glasses
to read an article
about wakame
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
without need
for boarding passes
north-bound geese
– Lorin Ford
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
here it comes
on the sushi train
fried whitebait
– Lorin Ford
gentle rain on the roof
the last sound before drifting
into gentler sleep
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
a red kite
seen from the tea-house window
reminds her of the past
the perfect fit of the chair
as I watch
the moon grow brighter
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
Billie Wilson
the table set
with steaming tea
and wild mint leaves
Marilyn Walker
carving bees
into a woodblock
print tomorrow
Thanks, everyone. You have already assured me of another hard choice, with five days to make it even harder! Some great stuff here.
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
a girl releases
the frog she couldn’t turn
into a prince
– John McManus
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
to my delight
a rose petal
in my slipper
-Jennifer Sutherland
And yet another window verse…
windows open
all the way
spring peepers
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
-Billie Wilson
itching my thigh
through the hole
in my pocket
-Patrick Sweeney
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
playing solitaire
with an old deck
I turn up Mrs Bud
– Sandra Simpson
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
cloud seeds
from the sill reshaping
borderlines
departing geese
from the window
growing dark
on the window sill
first nudge of green
in the bulb-pots
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
an eagle’s scream
through the window
growing dark
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
2. –Billie Wilson
—-
from her window seat
the elder aunt watches
poplar fluff blow
3. -Paul MacNeil
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
closing the door
on it all, only to find
pollen on my sleeve
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
who’s the slug-a-bed
in the bullet train window
still yawning?
– Lorin Ford
in his room
the shy boy
blows a pinwheel
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
a slug-a-bed’s face
stares out from the bullet train
still yawning
– Lorin Ford
– Lorin Ford
Trying again:
***
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
cherrystone clams
are ten bucks a pound
at the A&P!
the stare of red snappers
on the kitchen counter
at the yellow kite outside
And we are off to a new start! Thank you Sara, Catherine, and Karen. Noting that Karen has used both proceeding verses as a setting for her offer, I am cued that this might be a good time to write about the “leap over” verse.
Throughout the renku, we will be making special efforts to avoid any linkage, even a remote linkage, with two particular verses. One of them is the hokku, the opening verse, and the other is the “leap over” verse. The “leap over” verse changes as we go along but it is always the verse before the verse to which we are linking. In this case, the hokku and the “leap over” verse are the same for verse three. If we were writing verse 7 now, the “leap over” verse would be number 5. For verse 29, it would be 27 and so on. While the soul of renku is, at all times, about forward motion, and repetition is generally avoided, this is especially important with regard to the hokku and the “leap over” verses.
comparing maps
to the mountain shrines—
pilgrims’ stride
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt
fiddleheads
steamed crisp-tender
over boiling water
equinox
in a dry dock
kitchen clock springs forward
lovely 🙂