The Renku Sessions: Pilgrims' Stride 15
Welcome to The Renku Sessions. Renku is a participatory literary game, following a set of rules that are implemented by the leader of the session. If you would like to learn more about renku go here. And if you would like to see a sample of a complete renku go here.
I’m John Stevenson, and I will serve as your guide for this session, a thirty-six verse (kasen) renku. I have supplied the opening verse (hokku) and each week I will select an additional verse from among those submitted prior to the Tuesday deadline.
Twenty-one poets have produced sixty-two potential verse fifteen entries. Many really resonant images are contained in verses offered by both regular contributors and some newcomers. An example of the latter would be whispering / so the neighbors / can’t hear by Meli Kyriakos. I also lingered over cries of joy and pain / and the smell of piss rising / from the subway mouth by mark harris, sweeping up / discarded tickets / from the station floor by Stella Pierides, with a wary eye / the zoo-keeper / sweeps the concrete pens by Sue Richards, and this portion / brought to you / by Monsanto (Christopher Patchel). I was intrigued by Jennifer Sutherland’s three ways / to sharpen / a kitchen knife but, with silverware mentioned in verse four, felt I must pass on it. Same goes for Scott Mason’s the subway grate / claiming another / stiletto – a great verse but perhaps not for a renku in which the hokku contains the phrase “pilgrims’ stride.” (Yes, I am aware that a stiletto is also a knife.)
While all of the above were tempting, the final choice was between two. One appears below and the other was leaving the tattoo parlour / with a tiger / on his back by Jennifer Sutherland. Her verse really offers the urban snarl that I was looking for.
Our fifteenth verse comes from Christopher Patchel. The situation depicted is familiar to almost anyone who has an e-mail account and pinning it to a fish in a frying pan is great fun!
Here is the verse you must link to:
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help–Christopher Patchel
The next verse, the sixteenth, is also non-seasonal. (In case it is helpful to know it, the seventeenth will be a spring blossom verse.) Since the verse fifteen selection I have made is not overtly an urban image, we could still perhaps use a strong urban image at this point. Here are the formal requirements for verse sixteen:
- Non-seasonal image (not containing any of the words or phrases from our season word list)
- Written in two lines, without a cut
- Linking with the fifteenth verse, and only the fifteenth verse
- Shifting widely to a new topic and setting
Add your suggested two-line link below, in the Comments box. You have until midnight EST, Tuesday, June 17, 2014. You may submit as many verses as you like, but please use a new comment box for each one. I will announce my selection for the next link on Thursday, June 19 here on the blog, and provide information and instructions for submitting the next link.
What We’ll Be Looking For — Throughout the Session
There are many schematic outlines for a kasen renku. We will be using one set out by Professor Fukuda in his book Introduction to World-linking Renku. It will not be necessary for you to have a copy of this book since instructions will be offered before each verse is solicited.
It is a good idea for those participating in the composition of a renku to make use of the same list of season words. There are a number of these lists available and I intend no judgment of their relative value. For purposes of this session I am suggesting the use of The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words.
Pilgrims’ Stride to Date
comparing maps
to the mountain pass–
pilgrims’ stride–John Stevenson
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt–Billie Wilson
dampened soil
of seed trays
in the glasshouse–Margaret Beverland
grandmother’s silverware
polished every monday–Polona Oblak
a sonata
on the concert Steinway
played to the moon–Lorin Ford
dragonflies hover
by the swaying reeds–Karen Cesar
slight hum
of a drone
in fog–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones–Norman Darlington
I stumble
trying to reply
“I plight thee my troth.”–Paul MacNeil
thinking of a red wig
during chemo–Asni Amin
the woodland
of silent stories
and shadow–Alan Summers
he makes a wish
to become real–Marion Clarke
each mirror reflects
only the cool moon
rising–kris moon
freshly-caught fish
sizzles in the pan–Aalix Roake
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help–Christopher Patchel
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Edit for submission on June 17
Langston Hughes’ Weary Blues
rocking Harlem
Thanks, once again. We resume tomorrow!
airing the beds
listening to house of the rising sun
Langston Hughes’ Weary Blues
rocked Harlem
a routine spacewalk
from the ISS
the skyscraper’s glass
reflects his empty cup
tube workers on strike
queuing for the bus
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help
– Christopher Patchel
shrine after shrine
to the gods of desire
who might be
the air marshal?
boys search for trade
south of First Street
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help
–Christopher Patchel
we agree to meet
in the City of Light
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
broken the parents leave
the hospital without the baby
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
the infant boy born with
no parents to take him home
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
the infant boy born with
no parents to call him home
waking up to a dream
I cannot get back to
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help
–Christopher Patchel
from the alleyway’s darkness
pale fingers unfurl
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help
–Christopher Patchel
from the Bowery’s darkness
pale fingers unfurl
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help
–Christopher Patchel
from the Bowery’s darkness
fingers unfurl
one of the area boys
shot by a rival gang
her daughter asks
about blood diamonds
prices splashed
over ads for tombs
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help
–Christopher Patchel
the Central Park kibitzer
suggests a better move
a sink hole on the highway
changes our plan
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help
–Christopher Patchel
in our first round of poker
he lays down a royal flush
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help
–Christopher Patchel
the heart drawn to Dublin
on Bloomsday
Lorin Ford
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help
–Christopher Patchel
all the world is Dublin
on Bloomsday
– Lorin Ford
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help
-Christopher Patchel
performing a half-forgotten ceremony
the ancestors draw near
-Patrick Sweeney
fresh graffiti in the tower block
stairwell
the City traders arrive
en-masse at the bar
this inability to stop crying
about everything
my daughter begs me
to save the stray kitten
six hundred people
at my son’s funeral
Hello, everyone. Catching up once again. The play I have been performing had its final performance last night.
I have incorporated Christopher’s first suggestion (see above). The verse to which you must now link reads:
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my help
at the grocery counter
a mother scrambles through her purse
man sells caviar
on the black market
man sells sea cucumbers
on the black market
Just for fun!
man sells pirate games
on the black market
the grocery store
teeming with available men
tempting foods
at the grocery store
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
– Christopher Patchel
perhaps said prince can find
the missing Nigerian girls
– Tal Goldman
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
–Christopher Patchel
cocktails at 5
in a bar in Queens?
girls ply their trade
south of First Street
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting me
(Another option compliments of Paul MacNeil)
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
–Christopher Patchel
smoke billows
from the factory rooftops
I didn’t notice the repeated ‘reply’ until Alice mentioned it, but my revised verse was actually ‘soliciting my help’ so that’s one option. Another option would be to change Paul’s ‘reply’ to: respond, repeat, say, answer, ?
Just catching up a bit. We performed last night and then I picked up my son at the station to welcome him home after nearly six years in Scotland. When we got home, I discovered that the heavy rains had caused some minor flooding in one of the bedrooms. Then I was sick all night. Should be an interesting final performance tonight!
Anyway, it seems clear that several of you are catching on to the need to avoid repetitions – comments from batsword and Karen Cesar making that plain. Also, Alice Frampton has made a good catch. This kind of thing is easily fixed but best to fix it now before we pile more verses on top of it. I could do this myself but Christopher Patchel is prolific and inventive, so I’ll ask him for an alternative. In his verse:
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
we need a word other than “reply.” Christopher, what would you suggest?
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
–Christopher Patchel
t-shirts and bling
from the RSVP Gallery
* http://storeguide.highsnobiety.com/chicago-rsvp-gallery/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Street_fashion
my first thought was:
at the RSVP Gallery
a neon Rolex sign
but that would be the second appearance of a brand name ( Loren’s concert Steinway)
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
–Christopher Patchel
calling his number
but who will answer?
expect we can’t have food again, so here’s yet another offer:
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
between the marble pillars
panoramic ocean views
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
tempted by her rich and
creamy chocolate sauce
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
paupers rummage through
penthouse dumpsters
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
such acceptance an exception
to such tough rules
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
speaking in tongues
on his latest CD
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
fortunately, there’s one
parking spot left
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
today’s special price
on all second-hand goods
John,
I have a bit of a problem with the word “reply” as it appears in the 9th verse. It’s not a common word like the articles and prepositions, so . . .
Thanks!
A
smells from a meth lab
in the back alley
store detective chases
a shoplifter in the parking lot
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
–Christopher Patchel
short of time
she tries speed dating
woopsi ! Sorry !
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
–Christopher Patchel
finally a handsome fireman
responds to the false alarm
freshly-caught fish
sizzles in the pan
–Aalix Roake
finally a handsome fireman
responds to the false alarm
my investment in pork bellies
earns a fair return
Watching tv the World Cup
Someone counts the red cards
Vasile Moldovan
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
–Christopher Patchel
rush hour cabbies
swap one finger salutes
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
the shadowy figure crawls
through the car window
John,
Re: Christopher’s verse invokes, for me at least, the kind of ubiquitous on-line scam that is sometimes referred to as “fishing.”
The word you wanted is “phishing” (which does the same thing — i.e., to gather personal information)
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
love stricken soul
tragically buys airline ticket
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
the street mime
stifles his sneeze
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
–Christopher Patchel
a rhinestone tiara
in a tissue lined box
or
a rhinestone tiara
gathers dust on the bureau
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
through the red-light district
hustlers, junkies , pimps and hoes
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
sugar plum fairy came
and hit the streets …
Lou Reed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsVLIiI8Vfo
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
through the red-light district
hustlers,druggies, pimps and hoes
bra stuffed just so
the queen pats the ATM
a wealthy prince
exiled in Nigeria
soliciting my reply
a taxi cruises
around for a fare
late night taxi
cruises around for a fare
(avoiding the repetition of “a”)
Wow! What a great linkage thought.
Dru
Hi Dru,
I could repeat what I say every time about this. But I’ll presume you and other participating poets remember all that.
For me, I think of how the gesture that says “sucker” may consist of putting a finger, representing a fish hook, into one’s cheek and pulling on it. Christopher’s verse invokes, for me at least, the kind of ubiquitous on-line scam that is sometimes referred to as “fishing.”
John
Hi, John,
Can you explain the connection.
Thank you,
Dru