The Renku Sessions: Pilgrims' Stride 12
Welcome to The Renku Sessions. Renku is a participatory literary game, following a set of rules that are implemented by the leader of the session. If you would like to learn more about renku go here. And if you would like to see a sample of a complete renku go here.
I’m John Stevenson, and I will serve as your guide for this session, a thirty-six verse (kasen) renku. I have supplied the opening verse (hokku) and each week I will select an additional verse from among those submitted prior to the Tuesday deadline.
Twenty-five poets combined for one hundred nine verse twelve offers. Once again, there are verses I would love to have used but feel I have to pass up. First on the list is Patrick Sweeney’s now the acedia of the strip mall / bombards my reticular formation. This plays wonderfully with the woodland silence of verse eleven but I think that cancer and medical treatment in the leap-over (verse ten) precludes a verse that refers so strongly to neurology at this juncture.
Another good choice would have been Terri French’s a loud sneeze / from the sidewalk mime. And perhaps I’ve been punctilious here but I’m concerned that a sneeze may suggest illness and, if so, would preclude Terri’s verse for the same reason as Patrick’s, i.e. too close a relation to the leap-over.
Other verses that got a long second look included:lost glove (Dru Philippou), a ghost of fire and smoke (Vasile Moldovan), getting back on (Stella Pierides), distraught parents scream (batsword), and more offers than I have space to list from poets already included in our renku.
Our twelfth verse comes from Marion Clarke. Among other attractions, I look upon this as a good setup for the summer / moon verse that is to follow. While the verse clearly relates to the story of Pinocchio, it can be taken more broadly since that character is not specified.
Here is the verse you must link to:
he makes a wish
to become real–Marion Clarke
The next verse, the thirteenth, is the summer / moon verse. If you remember (or care to look back to) my instructions for the autumn / moon verse (number five), they indicate that any mention of the moon is presumed to be an autumn moon unless otherwise specified. So, verse thirteen will need both the moon and a summer season word or image. While it is permitted to simply say “summer moon,” let’s not do it that way. Here are the formal requirements for verse thirteen:
- Summer and Moon images
- Written in three lines, without a cut
- Linking with the twelfth verse, and only the twelfth verse
- Shifting widely to a new topic and setting
Add your suggested three-line link below, in the Comments box. You have until midnight EST, Tuesday, May 27, 2014. You may submit as many verses as you like, but please use a new comment box for each one. I will announce my selection for the next link on Thursday, May 29 here on the blog, and provide information and instructions for submitting the next link.
What We’ll Be Looking For — Throughout the Session
There are many schematic outlines for a kasen renku. We will be using one set out by Professor Fukuda in his book Introduction to World-linking Renku. It will not be necessary for you to have a copy of this book since instructions will be offered before each verse is solicited.
It is a good idea for those participating in the composition of a renku to make use of the same list of season words. There are a number of these lists available and I intend no judgment of their relative value. For purposes of this session I am suggesting the use of The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words.
Pilgrims’ Stride to Date
comparing maps
to the mountain pass–
pilgrims’ stride–John Stevenson
a sun-warmed stone bridge
over snowmelt–Billie Wilson
dampened soil
of seed trays
in the glasshouse–Margaret Beverland
grandmother’s silverware
polished every monday–Polona Oblak
a sonata
on the concert Steinway
played to the moon–Lorin Ford
dragonflies hover
by the swaying reeds–Karen Cesar
slight hum
of a drone
in fog–Alice Frampton
the atmosphere
thick with teenage pheromones–Norman Darlington
I stumble
trying to reply
“I plight thee my troth.”–Paul MacNeil
thinking of a red wig
during chemo–Asni Amin
the woodland
of silent stories
and shadow–Alan Summers
he makes a wish
to become real–Marion Clarke
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a moonbeam
touches
the shooting star columbine
a moonbeam
lights up
the shooting star columbine
Thanks everyone. We resume tomorrow morning at 9:00 (eastern US time).
oops prior typo
attracted by moonlight
the moth flutters
by the bedroom mirror
attracted by moonlight
the moth flutters
by the bedroom mirrow
our pitcher throws
the game-winning strike
at moonrise
the woodland
of silent stories
and shadow
–Alan Summers
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
under the moon
a spiral of bones
on flattened grass
illuminated by moonlight
the moth flutters
near the bedroom mirror
we go all moony
when she brings out
the chocolate ice cream
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
the short night moon
hangs with the cool boys
near the CokeTM machine
– Lorin Ford
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
the short night moon
seems even cooler
near the CokeTM machine
– Lorin Ford
moon up
we count the raspberries
and the ticks
moonstruck
in our birthday suits
we wade in
moonstruck
in our birthday suits
we dive in
moonstruck
in our birthday suits
we brave the leeches
reflections of the moon
and some white iris
share a garden pond
reflections of the moon
and the white iris
share the garden pond
he makes a wish
to become real
poppies borne on
wand-like stems
bathed in moon glow
another prawn
on the barbecue on
the moonlit beach
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
one recalls
the dream of an octopus
under the summer moon
( guess who 😉 )
– Lorin Ford
– LorinFord
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
one recalls
the dream of an octopus
beneath the summer moon
🙂
– Lorin Ford
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
an old debate
between philosophers
this short night moon
– Lorin Ford
in the moonlit camp
a child soldier
collects fireflies
on thunder moon
fitted with a 3D
printed ear
dreams
of the touch of moths
and moonlight
he makes a wish
to become real
poppies borne on
wand-like stems
bathed in moonshine
he makes a wish
to become real
poppies borne on
wand-like stems
bob in moonlight
Difficult to decide whether to leave definitive articles in. Perhaps John can enlighten?
he makes a wish
to become real
poppies borne on
wand-like stems
bobbing in the moonlight
reflections of the moon
and the white iris
share the pond
a moth flies
across the moon
towards our lamp
I add
getting barefoot at moonrise
to my want list
such short nights
the moon seems to streak
across the sky
unfortunately
at the nudist colony
a new moon
double dare
of a moonless night
in the graveyard
by moonlight
and flashlight
a ouija séance
my moon-lit dream
of supreme healthcare for veterans
on Memorial Day
Slight revision:
at moon set
the loon’s call still
in my dream
party sparklers left behind
we swim naked
chasing moonlight
Only for fun version two:
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
just as
the dispute moon
wanes gibbous
–Alan Summers
August Moon name:
Dispute Moon (Celtic)
Dispute Moon (Full Janic)
Only for fun:
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
just as
the dispute moon
waxes gibbous
–Alan Summers
August Moon name:
Dispute Moon (Celtic)
Dispute Moon (Full Janic)
reflection of the moon
in the pool
of green reeds
at moon set
the loon call still
in my dream
fallen bamboo leaves
float
in the moonlit pool
rose blossoms
float
on the moonlit pool
moonflower
reflected by starlight
in the still pond
Oh crumbs, no drugs!
Shucks!
moonrise
in the datura
of my dream
Oops, my last one should read:
skinny dipping
in the moonlit pond
despite the leeches
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
invoking the moon
to cast a spell
at summer solstice
he makes a wish
to become real
-Marion Clarke
Zildjian Moon
the boys call themselves
Sredni Vashtar
-Patrick Sweeney
we hope
our double hammock
holds the moon
I hope bats
don’t come to the party
with the moon
he makes a wish
to become real
southerlies smash
torn palm fronds
across the moon
he makes a wish
to become real
skeletal beasts
edge the moonlit
parched dam
he makes a wish
to become real
the moonlit path
subsumed in fragrant
cestrum nocturnum
he makes a wish
to become real
on the way home
acceleration in the
thunder moon
he makes a wish
to become real
moonlit sandcastles
transformed to mansions
by the sea
he makes a wish
to become real
the rising glow
of a full moon
over cloud peaks
there’s no mistaking
that sweat from your arm pit
even in the moonlight
our backyard rabbit
nibbles the hydrangea
as the moon rises
at least one turtle
makes it to the ocean
in the moonlight
Whoops, no more stories!
Sorry!
in their version
the turtle beats the rabbit
to the moon
forgot this is a summer moon verse …
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
the empty track
of the Daytona 500
in moonlight
no watered down beer
for our annual haiku
moon-viewing party
skinning dipping
in the moonlit pond
despite the leeches
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
a shot
at immortality
at the Daytona 500
moonlighting
as a northwest fisherman
I hope to see whales
bray
by bray
the cool moon night
long bray
after long bray
at the dogday moon
under the summer moon
the early apples already starts
slowly to ripen
Vasile Moldovan
each mirror reflects
only the cool moon
rising
he makes a wish
to become real
the many
childhood memories
with the mango moon
changed *of* to *with* in L3 🙂
he makes a wish
to become real
a gentle glow
of the moon on
each hanging mango
he makes a wish
to become real
the many
childhood memories
of the mango moon
he makes a wish
to become real
neighbours gather
to watch Armstrong
walk on the moon
obviously just for fun – no traditional season words and not even summer for those in the southern hemisphere
my dream position
of forecasting the moonrise
from a hammock
in my dream
the moonlight touches
home plate
wolfsbane
to lessen the effects
of the full moon
moonflower glows
even
at night
under the pale orb
in the
summer night sky
under the pale orb
in the dusky summer night sky
in the Arctic
under the pale orb
in the dusky summer sky
in the Arctic
feeling it
at moonrise
poison ivy
How to avoid: illness, sun, red, insects, pronouns, fictional characters… :/
at moonrise
the first signs
of poison ivy
he makes a wish
to become real
Marion Clarke
Summer moon rising
a big earthquake jars
the Aegean Sea
Vasile Moldovan
Slight revision: Can’t use high/mountain
on her birthday
his very last beer
at moon shine
on her birthday
his very last beer
at high moon
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
on her wet gown
on the Trevi fountain
the moon’s coolness
Lorin Ford
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
the moon’s coolness
on the Trevi fountain
on her wet gown
Lorin Ford
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
by moonlight
a drop of sweat
upon his brow
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
skinny dipping
in the reflection
of the moon
moonlit skin
feeling the prick
of a mosquito
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
after the fireworks
the crowd leave
just a moonbeam
Boy’s Day celebrations
take place
in the moonlight
oops
cloak of stars
surrounds the moon
in the summer sky
cloak of stars
surround the moon
in the summer sky
Slight revision:
hopefully all the snakes
have slithered down their holes
now that it’s moonrise
hopefully all the snakes
have slithered down their holes
by moonrise
surely
there is more to life
than the moon
it takes til moon light
to cook our turkey dinner
on Independence Day
only half the moon
lighting the veranda
as birthday candles go out
moonrise
and fair game
for mosquitoes
he makes a wish
to become real
datura blossom
gathers the moonlight
and a falling star
feeling it
at moonrise
our sunburn
he makes a wish
to become real
datura blossom
collecting the moon
and a falling star
he makes a wish
to become real
the garden
planted with moonlight
with Datura blossoms
he makes a wish
to become real
moonlight reflects
a hawkmoth embedded
in a datura blossom
he makes a wish
to become real
moonlight reflects
drunken honeybees struggling
in a datura blossom
he makes a wish
to become real
under a full moon
the datura’s fragrance
lingers
he makes a wish
to become real
under the moonlight
the datura’s magic
fragrance lingers
he makes a wish
to become real
under the moonlight
he inhales the datura’s
magic fragrance
#12
he makes a wish to become real
1. –Marion Clarke
#13 submission
even the man
in the moon
perspiring
– Paul MacNeil
Aalix,
Two things come to mind in reply to your question. First, any decision of this kind must be made by the editors of the publication(s) to which you apply or by the sponsor(s) of any contest(s).
Perhaps more importantly – these should not be considered haiku.
Haiku is a descendent of the hokku. Other verses within the renku should not be “stand alone” poems. The poetry for other verses should consist of their interplay with the preceding and succeeding verses.
That said, unused material created in a renku session can often serve as the basis for future haiku or senryu. Generally, some revision will be required in order to render it effective in these formats. Substantial revision could make it eligible for submission to journals and contests. Always a judgment call.
PS I just Googled my name and the first line of my hokku. It brought me to this site. For The Heron’s Nest, this would render the verse ineligible for submission and (re)publication. (Of course, the fact that I am a The Heron’s Nest editor also renders it ineligible!)
south wind
blows clouds
across the moon
lemon ice cream
stashed in the freezer
for our moon viewing
John,
What would be the status of haiku presented here, but not chosen? Would they be considered by a journal or a contest to be previously published? (sorry, I had asked this after the last session was finished if it looks familiar!)
moon viewing
at a baseball game
in the ninth inning
cold under the pale orb
in the dusky summer night
in Antarctica
he makes a wish
to become real
–Marion Clarke
wild horses
unbroken, beneath
the watermelon moon