The Renku Sessions: New Calendar 26
Welcome to The Haiku Foundation’s Fifth Renku Session: New Calendar. I am John Stevenson, leading my second Kasen (36 verse) renku on this site. We will be trying something a little different this time. Instead of making all of the selections myself, new verses will be selected by the poet who wrote the preceding verse. This will be on a voluntary basis and I remain ready to preform this task for anyone who prefers to pass up the opportunity.
Thank you, everyone, for your help and encouragement during the past week. And my thanks, in particular, to Karen Cesar, who made this week’s selection and contributed mightily to a week of very active and positive discussion on this site. Here is Karen’s report:
absinthe and “that look”
as they suck on sugar cubes
–Betty Shropshire
“There were so many really good verses to choose from this round. In the end, I chose this verse for its suggestive sensuality. The illicit reputation of absinthe paired with ‘that look’ is deliciously provocative. There is a sense of ‘forbidden fruit,’ which is heightened in the second line of the verse. I picture a couple teasing/ arousing one another with the way they are sucking on the sugar cubes and simultaneously looking into one another’s eyes. There is (or can be) a great deal of ritual surrounding the serving of absinthe. This pairs nicely with the mating ritual which seems to be taking place between the perhaps soon to be lovers.
I have made a very small but I hope helpful modification, by adding quotation marks. I think this strengthens the meaning. Without the quotes, one might presume that these words refer to the particular look of intoxicated absinthe users. But saying ‘that look’ is like a textual wink and nod: ‘You know what I mean’
Elements of the verse that struck me were its succinctness, its vibrant word choices, the extremely effective line break, the use of a new topic – alcohol ( yes, I know there is ‘spirited croquet’ above but alcohol in that verse is in the reader’s interpretation rather than being spelled out) and that the alcohol used was an unusual one with an interesting history and rich associations. All of which made for a unique and unexpected verse. Thank you, Betty, for a wonderful verse and thank you all for a wonderful experience.”
Thank you, Karen, and congratulations, Betty!
Betty Shropshire will be offered the opportunity to select the next verse. Betty, please contact me, either in a reply below or by e-mail (ithacan@earthlink.net) to let me know whether you accept this offer. If you do, I will ask you to choose the next verse in accordance with the requirements listed below and to write a paragraph or two about your selection and send it to me on Wednesday morning (July 5, eastern US time) so that I can incorporate it in the next posting, which appears on the following day. If you would rather not make the selection, I will do so, but I would prefer to know that I’ll be doing that as early as possible
Verse twenty-seven will be another non-seasonal love verse, written in three lines, this time. Betty’s verse is not specific about the timing within a love relationship (early, middle, or late) but let us focus on “middle or late” for this next verse. Once again, these are verses about love between adult human beings. They are not about love of pets, love of country, love of ice cream, etc. They can be romantic, erotic, nostalgic or anything that seems aptly to express love (or even the absence of it) between any adult human beings.
Verse twenty-seven must link to the twenty-sixth verse (and only the twenty-sixth verse) but it also must clearly shift away from it in terms of scene, subject, and tone.
You will have until Tuesday night to make your offers. The Haiku Foundation site has been busy lately and the link to our renku session has not always been obvious on the home page. There is a permanent “Renku Sessions” button a little further down the home page and you can always reach the current session via this route. We will continue to check for new verse offers through each Tuesday.
With best wishes to all,
John
New Calendar to Date
new calendar
a year of
“Natural Wonders”
- –John Stevenson
a clownfish offers
the first greeting
- –Peter Newton
taking a fistful
of freshly tilled earth
to my cheek
- –Shrikaanth Krishnamurthy
café aromas
on the warm breeze
- –Maureen Virchau
sound of a flute
slowly rising
with a hazy moon
- –Dru Philippou
flickering light of a bike
from the side road
- –Marina Bellini
under the bed-sheet
tales of bold highwaymen
and horse-drawn coaches—Lorin Ford
has the lord executed
his droit du seigneur—Polona Oblak
Jimmy Carter
and Rosalynn
on the kiss cam—Judt Shrode
after the picnic
some spirited croquet—Michael Henry Lee
the old quarry
so deep and cold
and daring—Mary Kendall
her scars stay hidden
though the neckline plunges–Debbie Feller
each time I wake
the moon lights
something different—Gabrielle Higgins
the whir of dragonfly wings
in the remaining heat—Sally Biggar
a neutrino
passes through the chestnut
and the worm, too—Lorin Ford
the tension of the needle
piercing linen—Carmen Sterba
Dutchman’s breeches
sprout along a cliff’s
ragged edge—Maureen Virchau
six pairs of boots
by the pilgrim shrine–Polona Oblak
in full flight
fledglings skim
through the archway–Barbara A. Taylor
my toddler puts her milk glass
on the kitchen counter–Paul MacNeil
on the store’s intercom
comes a cleanup request
for aisle thirteen–Michael Henry Lee
recalling where they were
on Jerusalem Day–Debbie Feller
snowflakes
falling north and south
of the peace wall—Marion Clarke
Tolstoy in Russian
by a roaring fire–Michael Henry Lee
could it be
that women prefer
a room with a view?—Karen Cesar
absinthe and “that look”
as they suck on sugar cubes–Betty Shropshire
This Post Has 69 Comments
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your version
of why we broke up
different than mine
a toast
to all our exes
at the divorce party
Are you divorced?
even though
he hated Kumbaya
he joined her protest
Or…
scheduling
date nights purely
for conversation
scheduling
date nights
for conversation
through a long marriage
we have learned to laugh about
our imperfections
.
.
(Just thought I would make the relationship clearer)
(One of my rare 5-7-5 efforts)
absinthe and “that look”
as they suck on sugar cubes
.
–Betty Shropshire
.
desire evaporates
and all that’s left
melts into memory
absinthe and “that look”
as they suck on sugar cubes
.
–Betty Shropshire
.
a flashback of his guitar
and how he sang love songs
outside her closed door
I can pare this one down:
.
a flashback
of singing love songs
outside her door
absinthe and “that look”
as they suck on sugar cubes
.
–Betty Shropshire
.
after forty years
his grey eyes still
make her quiver
An absolutely perfect verse for this spot, Betty! Karen, you did such a great job of selecting and commenting on all the verses. I love the added quotation marks. 🙂
Thank you, Mary. And thank John S. for the quotation marks – his idea. 😊
🙂 You make a great team!
So sweet … 😘
Thank you, Mary! ☺
at last
we can laugh about
our imperfections
golden anniversary
she browses karma sutra
then books a room
sorry, sorry, have done it again 🙁 ‘room’
an exellent verse for this position. nicely done, Betty and Karen 🙂
.
a handful of poems
is all that’s left
of his longing
Thanks, Polona! ☺
😊 Thanks, Polona.
Etta on the radio,
kneading the dough
she sings along
I think this is remote if you aren’t a fan of, Etta James, and familiar with her songs.
Maybe work in a title somehow to better show her frame of mind??
nevermind…you did in a way…😊
Your two liner is a humdinger, Betty and most probably expanding the mind of the most experienced ku’ist . I’ve set about drawing what I see 🙂
sweet bridal mementos
heaped on the floor
as newlyweds intertwine
Thanks Betty for reminding me that the word ‘aisle’ was already taken. Your stunning verse is going to be a hard one to follow.
soon after the reunion
the word engagement
keeps popping up
You’re welcome! 😊
cane field strippers
only the sweet taste
of their kisses
Hi Carol, this is great imagery but we’ve had kiss as a subject in a previous verse (kiss cam). ☺
Thanks, Betty 🙂
*
at Woodstock
making their own
sweet music
*
not sure about ‘own’ on the end of L2?
I think it’s fine. 😊
absinthe and “that look”
as they suck on sugar cubes
–
–Betty Shropshire
—
just holding hands
and smiling
as time goes by
–
– Lorin
Are we looking for unpublished pieces only?
stanzas should be original to this exercise. That is my understanding of any public renku. John ?
Yes, verses composed specifically for this renku only, please. No previously published verses. Thanks for asking!
Wow and congratulations , Betty, on such a great love verse! And congratulations Karen , on such a great job too! 🙂
Thanks, Debbie! 😊
Thanks Debbie. It was fun. 🙂
Congratulations, Betty! You always bring such a unique voice to the renku sessions. Wishing you lots of fun in choosing the next verse. I’m sure you’ll do an excellent job.
*
I loved your commentary, Karen. And I enjoyed all your comments along the way. Your hard work, enthusiasm, sense of humor, and warmth are very much appreciated.
Maureen, thank you!! 😊
Awww, Maureen … 🙃 Much thanks. _/\_
nuzzling noses passé
they prefer a quick
roll in the hay
the crescendo
of a fevered pitch
rocks the limo
soon after the reunion
former classmates
walk the aisle
Hi Carmen…is there any way you can phrase this without ‘aisle’? I know it would alter the meaning but we already have an ‘aisle thirteen.’ ☺
Thanks, Karen!! The change does make the meaning clearer so I am happy with it and your analysis was lovely…again, honored that you chose it!
…
Also wanted to thank Polona and Paul for furthering my education. Your thoughts and additional resources for published renku were most beneficial!
…
Well, here’s to going forward with the next love verse…more than a little nervous to be choosing it.
Congratulations, Betty, 🙂 A suggestive verse well suited for the spot, and well-chosen.
—
– Lorin
Thanks, Lorin! 😊
😊
a secret rendezvous
in the pleasure garden
of the Palais-Royal
her curves
outlined
by his brush
Ah – la fée verte! I loved this verse as soon as I read it, Betty. 🙂
Thanks, Marion! 😊
another great verse !!!!
******************
rock’n it like the Yardbirds
over under sidewise
and down
Thanks, Michael! 😊
upon closer examination
he decides one breast
is larger than her other
Aaaah, Paul…this is where I stumble with your use of ‘one’. If I take it solely as a number, then we don’t move forward numerically. But, used in this context where it serves to set up a comparison, I don’t think it matters…do you? Anyone? 🤔
A, An, The also indicate singularity. I do not know of any Japanese context, but groups I’ve been in usually allow the word “one” as not being a number in the *no regression of numbers* issue.
.
It is good question…. also for Maestro Stevenson, I guess.
.
I could get around it with:
.
upon closer examination
he decides her left breast
is larger than the right
.
???
I do like the change though I really prefer your original…thanks for your thoughts on the use of ‘one’! It helps to clarify what I’d hoped was the case. ☺
Wondering about the link between ‘examination’ and ‘love’, Paul! I’m obviously missing something!
. . . hard to answer, Marietta. The link to the previous verse is two-fold — more plainly connected is “look” to “examination” — the more graphic might be to “suck.” That it is a love verse, if that is your question? Well, the intimacy of body parts is the stuff of lovers, I felt the previous 3 love stanzas, two sections, had no actual physicality. It is an actual memory of mine from my young life with my wife who died at 36. We lay together for years in various staged of undress, and sometimes actually slept! Ha…………..
.
Sometimes I had my eyes open.
.
the wild years of
flowery skirts
and “love and peace” tattoos
Hi Marina…I well remember those years but never got the tattoos! Again, I think we should avoid mentioning ‘year(s)’ because of the hokku. ‘Peace’ as well because of Marion’s verse.
ok, thank you I will try again
the hill towns
we called home
in our wonder years
Hi, Peter… I’m thinking this is way too close to the hokku with its year of “Natural Wonders”