The Renku Sessions: Many Shapes – Week 9
Welcome to this renku session. I am Linda Papanicolaou and I’ll be your guide.
.
CHOICE OF VERSE 9
snow flakes fall
on the wing
of an angel
Stephanie Bauer
our breaths
become smoke
in the frigid night air
Belinda Behne
the groundhog’s
long shadow
in afternoon sun
John Daleiden
snow angels
swallow
our shadows
Tracy Davidson
using all the snow
in the front yard
to make a snowman
Debbie Feller
great grandpa
huge in his bear skins
counts grandchildren
Lorin Ford
frost-nipped turf
and a server farm
where the farmstead was
Pamela Garry
snow butterfly
on a clear winter day
beyond the rising
Madeleine Kavanaugh
I shake
Grandma’s snow globe
unpacking decorations
Valerie Green
knitting on the pom-pom
just before
the first snow
Laurie Greer
bonfire —
the fritters crackle
through the jokes
Lakshmi Iyer
charcoal
in the small brazier
glowing red
Robert Kingston
ankle deep in the snow
waiting for the latest
COVID vaccine
Michael Henry Lee
snow fog
swallows
our ski tent
Laurinda Lind
a thick layer of snow
connects the house door
to the garden gate
Urszula Marciniak
the car’s taillights
through
the whiteout
Biswajit Mishra
the manhole cover
covered
with snow
Sean Murphy
ice turns
stone to dust
louse
Guliz Mutlu
snow falling softly
on the homeless
and displaced
Pauline O’Carolan
side track
waits up for love
coming
Zoltán Pachnik
winter fog
a bridge suspending
without cables
Anton R-Kelian
new snow,
the forest’s silence
complete
Christopher Seep
hand in hand
we whale watch
from the hot springs
Clysta Seney
snowflakes
covering a shared
gravestone
Richard Straw
It was a hard choice this time as there were a few submissions that would do very nicely to link to our love verses and close out the side. I’ve decided to go with Madeline’s snow butterflies. Till now we haven’t had many animals— other than an implied horse in the wakiku. This verse gives us an insect, in an interesting way. In basic saijiki “butterfly” by default signals spring, though in the entry in Haiku World: an international poetry almanac (Kodansha 1996 pp 79-80). Bill Higginson provided that some species are salient in the other seasons, including winter.
When she submitted, Madeleine included a comment explaining her choice of the snow butterfly as season reference. With their large, translucent white wings featuring red or orange eye-spots they are also called Apollos (genus Parnassius) and are cold-adapted to inhabit northern circumpolar or high-altitude mountainous regions. You can find a lot more, and about conservation efforts, with a browser search.
Madeline actually submitted two versions of the verse with a different third line. The alternate had “soars through the trees.” Generally, I might have been expected to opt for the concrete image, but in this case it’s the more open variant that feels right to close the side. What does “the rising” mean? A rising mountain slope? The cold steam coming off snow pack as the sun warms it? The butterflies themselves engaged in hill topping mating behavior? Or maybe even all of the above?
Here it is with the two previous verses:
a cool tattoo
on the back of the neck
of the boy in front
Marion Clarke
the totality
when he touches me
Pamela Garry
snow butterfly
on a clear winter day
beyond the rising
Madeleine Kavanaugh
For a verse to be a love verse, it must be about human carnal love, but see how switching to an animal topic extends the feeling to a gentle conclusion rather than abrupt and to the side. Madeleine also wrote that she appreciated how many cultures connect butterflies with the afterlife. In the context of “rising,” I think that a symbolism of mortality and resurrection is also at play. A lovely conclusion to the side!
CALL FOR VERSE 10
With this first we begin our fourth and final side: the kyu, or “fast close.” Verses and linking in this side will be simple and direct, without the musings or digressions you’ve seen from me in the two ha sides— nothing that will kick the reader out of the poem.
Disposition of versus and season will be as follows:
two lines, non-season
three lines spring (blossom)
two lines spring (the ageku)
In other words, the call is for a two-line nonseasonal first that links to the snow butterflies and shifts away from “totality.”
Please use the submission box below to submit no more than two verses for verse 10. Submissions will close on Monday, September 28 at midnight, US Eastern time. Selection of the verse and instructions for submitting to verse 11 will appear here on Thursday, October 1.
THF strives to maintain a safe and friendly environment for our readers and site participants. Participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior of all parties. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, for any reason, at any time.
If you see something you feel may violate our Code of Conduct, please report it to the appropriate moderator or the President here.
