The Renku Sessions: Jûnicho – Week 11

This Post Has 70 Comments

1. . . . and, Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s it for this week. Thank you for your presence and your contributions for our penultimate verse.
   .
   – Lorin

2. counting down
   the final days
   till spring break

3. spring fever
   midafternoon
   filing taxes
   .
   or to avoid a double kigo
   .
   spring fever
   midafternoon
   studying law

4. a sudden thunder
   announces a storm
   among the green branches

   ********************************
   up and down the stairs
   doing the cleaning
   of spring

   ********************************
   looking out the window
   low flight
   of the swallow

5. at the latest colour
   for spring the paparazzi
   go wild

6. on our Lisbon break
   we experience showers
   of dust from a balcony

   1. Too long 🙁
      .
      on our spring break
      we experience a shower
      of balcony dust
      .

      1. This happened to us in Lisbon last year when walking along a street downtown (it was summer but I thought it might link well to spring cleaning)

         I imagined a child who couldn’t find a mat to sweep it under!

7. my son asks
   what his kite has just said
   to mine

8. Great choice, Lorin and thank you for your most educational comments. They are much appreciated.

   Betty, what a great verse! It reminded me of the army surveillance towers here in Northern Ireland during The Troubles. Thankfully all gone now. I remember my friends and I whisperjng so the soldiers didn’t hear our conservations – but they probably did anyway!

   1. Gosh, Marion, I can only imagine how awful that was for you and your country. We sure haven’t progressed very far as a species. And yet, I try to remain hopeful…
      And, thank you! ☺

      1. It was a fraught time indeed, Lorin, but things have improved a lot since then. Now, if we can get rid of some of our bigoted politicians it will be even better!

9. brought back
   by the spring tide
   a peace sign cutout

   (PS Lorin, look at the upper right corner of the page 🙂 )

   1. How appropriate, Lorin!
      .
      cicada husk …
      also clinging
      to a straw
      .
      – Lorin Ford

   2. Thanks, Vida and Marion. I probably would’ve missed it! 🙂 That ku is from 12 years ago now. Where does the time go?
      .
      – Lorin

10. searching for
    the fortune teller’s table
    at the Spring Faire

11. chasing bubbles
    from the stilt-walker’s
    wand

12. For fun:

    plotting another bed
    in the community garden
    with twine

13. The heavy coats
    are stored
    in the wardrobes
    ***
    storing the quilt
    you can hear singing
    from the balconies
    ***
    put away knitting
    grandmother plans
    holidays

14. *
    *
    open hand
    a pinch o green
    for a purloined letter
    *
    *

15. in the spring parade
    a princess with parasol
    gracefully waving

16. #3:
    .
    the carousel’s music
    brings out the kid in us
    as we circle ‘round

17. #2:
    .
    under the canopy
    tiny fingers fumble
    with tangled kite strings

18. a bee
    disappears into the bell
    of a foxglove
    .
    cameras atop towers
    turned to the five boroughs
    .
    .
    the sound of sneezing
    inside a new black car
    dusted in pale green

19. Just for fun, too. 🙂
    .
    in vogue this spring
    hats in all the colours
    of the rainbow
    .
    – Lorin
    .
    That’d be ok. There isn’t any dreaded “double kigo”, a criticism sometimes leveled by some EL haiku aficionados. ‘Spring’ , just as is, is the kigo. If it weren’t for the word ‘spring’, though, the Japanese would take ‘rainbow’ as the kigo. ‘Rainbow’ = ‘summer’ for them if not qualified. In my verse ‘Spring’ cancels all doubt about season.
    .
    I do have a sub-plot in posting this. Here’s the thing: in Japan, as far as season goes, everyone more-or-less agrees upon what happens when. One consults a saijiki. “Aha! ganburo (“bath for the wild geese – kigo for mid-spring”). Righto, now that I have my kigo I can compose a spring verse around it. All of my fellow renkujin will understand what’s implied and if they don’t I can suggest, smiling smugly, that they might want to buy a more inclusive saijiki. ”
    .
    Hmmm.
    .
    “In Lanark, Scotland, children run around with balls made of crumpled paper swinging around their heads near dusk on the first of March. They run laps around the town’s bell, known as the Kirk, until it rings at 6 p.m. after six months of silence during the desolate winter days. This activity is called Whuppity Scoorie.”
    .
    “In India, there’s Holi. In a celebration of the triumph of good over bad, the colorful Holi tradition takes place in late February or early March. The festival originated as Hindu tradition, but is now a cultural experience that has radiated to other parts of the world.To usher in the spring season, people participate in bonfires and parties the night before Holi. The next day, the masses gather on the streets for a giant color fight, throwing dyed powder onto each other. The carefree revelry offers a chance to connect with other human beings and let go of any past hardships.”
    .
    While participants in an all-Scottish renku might agree that a penultimate ‘spring’ verse of a Junicho featuring Whuppity Scoorie is ideal, without a further reference to spring, participants from various regions in the world in the process of composing for an international renku might consider such a verse obscure, or even ‘flag-waving’. Similarly, a verse featuring the Indian Holi, composed among Indians. Similarly, a ‘spring’ verse featuring Easter eggs. (Would Easter eggs signify spring or autumn? There are two answers: both are correct.) Similarly, other things that happen according to the calendar in the various world regions.
    .
    In the ha section of a renku, especially a longer renku such as the Kasen, Whuppity Scoorie or Holi might well feature in a spring spot. We have time to meander from place to place.
    .
    In the short kyu section of this renku, for our penultimate, ‘spring verse’, I’ll be preferring verses that don’t rely on a calendar date or calendar month to convey spring. So be guided: try to avoid Whuppity Scoories or any whiff of the long-dead ‘flat earth’ theory.
    .
    Anyone who thinks they might’ve committed a Whuppity Scoorie is welcome to substitute a new verse or revision, in a post directly below the original.
    .
    – Lorin

    1. I was thinking ‘tax forms’ was a safe bet since it’s listed in Higginson’s “international” saijiki (unlike Whuppity Scoorie : ) or Holi). Obviously there’s virtually no season word that’s universal, outside actually naming “spring” or the other seasons. In any case I’m mostly just challenging myself to solve each linking challenge to my own satisfaction, so whatever is decided is fine by me : )

       1. Yes ,Chris . . . page 62, just above ‘cockfight’ under ‘Spring Observances’: US Income Tax. ‘Easter’ is in there too (but not ‘Prom Night’ etc.) If a Scotsman had been the author of ‘Haiku World’, Whuppity Scoorie might’ve been there under the same category. If an Australian had been the author, ‘Melbourne Cup Day’ (November, last month of spring when the roses are at their best) would be there under ‘Spring Observances’. 🙂
          .
          One bonus of participating in renku is we end up with verses that we might consider, later, as draft haiku. The inspiration isn’t wasted.
          .

          – Lorin

    2. . . . but check out how ‘New Year’ + ‘calendar’ can work internationally in the renku ‘New Calendar’ (THF Renku Archives, link in main post above)
       .
       It can be done. ‘New Year’ is its own season, whether it falls in winter or summer (or, really, neither of these in the tropics). John Stevenson’s hokku and Peter Newton’s wakiku:
       .
       new calendar
       a year of
       “Natural Wonders”
       .
       a clownfish offers
       the first greeting

       .
       – Lorin

20. Such a clever verse to link to, Betty.
    …
    Verse 1:
    …
    small boy
    gives the old kite
    a new tail
    …
    Verse 2:
    …
    still cold outside
    but through my window
    greening trees
    …
    Verse 3:
    …
    sweet scent
    of the spring meadow
    surrounds the house

21. from the gazebo
    our high school chorus belts out
    hallelujah

22. or a more ‘swiftly flowing’ version:
    .
    e-filing
    my tax return
    just under the wire

23. for fun:
    as day lingers
    mother paints the blues
    of distant seas

    1. or:
       as day lingers
       mother paints the blues
       inside and out

24. Betty, such a perceptive, innovative
    link. Love it!

    1. Lorin, the way you unpack and illuminate
       the subtext of Betty’s, in fact all the
       lovely poems in this jûnicho renku,
       is a gift to all of us new to and familiar
       with linked forms. Thank you! So pleased you
       mention my contribution —Jackie

       1. a bee
          disappears into the bell
          of a foxglove
          -Andrew
          .
          cameras atop towers
          turned to the five boroughs
          -Betty
          ~ ~ ~
          pastel balloons
          rise rise above
          the lingering day
          *
          docking
          with the hay fever free
          space shuttle
          *
          from this far away
          fliers appear to be
          conducting kites

          1. Correcting second verse
             :
             docking
             with the hay fever free
             space station

    2. Thank you, Jackie! 😊

25. Thank you, Betty, for the splendid verse with the magical link!

    ***

    in spring union
    the alumni busy in search
    of their batchmates

    *****

    ‘seeing
    the New Year in’ from
    the doorway decoration

    *****

    reminiscing
    martyrs on Saigyo’s
    Memorial Day

    *****

    1. Thank you, Pravat! 😊

26. Betty, congratulations on an amazing verse. What an amazing visual to think about.
    .
    cameras atop towers
    turned to the five boroughs
    .
    – Betty Shropshire

    1. Thank you, Mary! 😊

27. Congratulations, Betty Shropshire
    .
    cameras atop towers
    turned to the five boroughs
    .
    .
    a parade of ants
    climb the pole
    of our lemonade stand
    .
    .
    celebrating spring
    in the bounce-house
    at a toy store
    .
    .
    2 of 3
    Jan Benson
    USA

    1. Thank you, Jan! 😊

28. a backpack
    used as a pillow
    at the turtle pond

29. a pussy willow
    picks up speed
    at the creek bend

30. am I allowed
    a tax deduction
    for karate lessons?

31. getting to the old oak
    we discover
    pale blue eggshells

32. spring-cleaning
    we find an old volume
    of Grimms’ Fairy Tales

33. I’ve been enjoying your comments, Lorin :))
    Of course all the verses offered for each slot.
    This junicho is shaping so well.
    All the best to the very end!

    1. Thanks, Kala. :- )

       .
       – Lorin

34. To All:
    .
    Remember this verse, our verse # 11, is set in the kyu phase of our renku, the ‘rapids’, the ‘fall of a mighty waterfall’, the ‘speed rush’ phase. Keep your diction clear and straightforward. Keep all words in generally accepted and understood English. No ‘specialist words’ or ‘buzz words’. Also, please refrain from using extra-textual references, which are more suitable for the ha phase.
    .
    We’re past the ha phase. Anything that might delay readers or direct readers away from the downward rush and certainly anything that might require the assistance of a search engine is unsuitable.
    .
    And, please avoid any sense of conclusion. . . the conclusion of anything.
    .
    – Lorin

    1. Ahem… (blush, where was my head?)… correction: “we’re in the kyu phase” !!! ” Anything that might delay readers or direct readers away from the downward rush and certainly anything that might require the assistance of a search engine is unsuitable.”
       .
       Lorin

       1. all fine, Lorin 🙂
          you wrote: “We’re past the ha phase.”
          which is essentially the same as “we’re in the kyu phase”

          1. True , Polona, 🙂
             .
             I just wonder sometimes if I’m communicating effectively or not.
             .
             cheers,
             Lorin

    2. Lorin,

       Feeling clueless and needing your council here. You’re saying that the content must allude to “rushing” DOWN to the ending??? I’ve understood (or thought I did) that linking to the verse before is to create a moment that ‘connects’ to some ‘element’ in it, wherever it may come in the progression. 1) So, to me, my space shuttle suggested the ‘speed’ you ask for; its altitude linking to the ‘tower’; hay fever-free illustrating the ‘spring’ theme. —2) in pastel balloons; alas, I get there’s not much speed . Therefore, mea culpa.—3) guessing the same slowness disqualifies the ‘kites”, yes? no? something else?

       1. Ah, Jackie, I think I can clear this up:
          .
          ” You’re saying that the content must allude to “rushing” DOWN to the ending???” – jackie
          .
          No, not content. I’m talking about the ‘movement’ of the kyu phase for verses 10 & 11. In last week’s ‘introduction’ for verse #10:
          .
          “Our ha section has ended with our transitioning flower verse. With verse 10, we enter the rather short kyu phase of our Jûnicho. No more meandering along the river. No lingering or loitering. The pace picks up. (In ‘The African Queen’, Katherine Hepburn takes the rudder and down the churning rapids the boat rushes, dodging dangerous rocks.) The kyu phase has been likened, by Master Zeami, to “the plunge of a mighty waterfall into a deep and silent pool.” John Carley compares the kyu with the ha :

          “Ha encourages diversity of content and style whereas . . . kyu requires compaction and irresistibility. So whilst content may remain brash the prosody will now be unchallenging, the metres more conventional and the inter-verse linkage more tight. Intertextual direction is limited, too, the reader held close once more. We want our readers to experience the waterfall, not fly off in some random direction.” Renku Reckoner, p 91

          Our kyu here is comprised of the two verses, 10 and 11.”
          .
          In renku, the first part, jo is like an introduction or prelude in classical music. In renku, it is the quieter, more formal part. The ha (middle section) is variable and even ‘meandering’. The kyu is like the finale, pace picks up.
          .
          There is no requirement or suggestion that the content of verses #10 and #11 needs to suggest speed. (neither Andrew’s flower verse, which is such a good ‘transition verse’ nor Betty’s powerful image of the towers and surveillance cameras watching five boroughs suggests speed by their content.)
          .
          – Lorin

          1. Thanks so much for the clarification, Lorin

35. Betty, I meant to say I really admire what you did with that verse!

    1. Thank you, Judt! 😊

36. at the prom
    doing the whip and nae nae
    like a boss
    .
    or:
    .
    on prom night
    she does the whip and nae nae
    like a boss

    1. Judt, before I googled, “the whip and nae nae” sounded to me like a sadistic game that perverts might play with horses, or something like that played between humans. . . perverts who can’t spell ‘neigh’, to boot! 🙂
       .

       (Not for our kyu section.)
       .
       – Lorin

       1. Yes, thanks, Lorin. I get that after seeing your comment about nothing out of the ordinary. Trying to be contemporary, not sadistic. Actually, the dance moves are wonderful.

          — Judt

37. Delighted to have my verse chosen, Lorin! I so enjoy your commentary and further insights. Thank you!! 😊
    And, yeah, Big Brother is ubiquitous but, it seems, a necessary evil. My home state’s capital, Austin, was finally released from the nightmare of a serial bomber due to information gleaned from such surveillance…sigh. 😐 Betty

    1. Yeah, Betty, I watched the outcome of those bombings on the ABC News. And here, a woman with a mental illness has been shot dead by police after reports of her wandering around with a kitchen knife (a big one!) A better approach to that one would’ve been desirable, that’s for sure. The inquiry continues.
       .
       We live in tense times, and it’s affecting people.
       .

       – Lorin

       1. 😐

38. Powerful image, Betty. Congratulations

    1. Thank you, Carol! ☺

39. Congratulations Betty nice verse
    ****************************
    our potluck in the park
    draws the sheriff’s
    attention

    1. Thank you, Michael! ☺

Comments are closed.