The Renku Sessions: Imachi, Week 2
Welcome to another Renku session. I am Linda Papanicolaou. The renku I am leading this time is an Imachi, an 18-verse form from Renku Masters Shunjin and Seijo Okamoto (“Waiting for the Moon,” 1984). Like Junicho, the other form they gave us, Imachi is a single-sheet renku though it develops in a more traditional jo-ha-kyu structure and depends more on the flow of passages of verse in its linking.
A thorough discussion may be found in John E. Carley’s Renku Reckoner, pp. 51-56, online at Google Books. The section includes a discussion, a selection of seasonal schemata, and a lovely example, “Between the Jagged Rocks”, by JEC and Norman Darlington.
Good morning! I’m pleased to announce that our chosen hokku is one of Simon Hanson’s:
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves
In many parts of the Northern Hemisphere this has been a harsh winter, and midway through April some of us are still getting snow. At my place up in the mountains, the warmth of house heat always liquifies the snow on the roof so that icicles form along the eaves. In really bad winters they can grow quite long and thick, like jail bars that almost close off the view out the window. Yes, when the weather warms, blue sky and the dazzle of sunlight refract through the glissade of melting water.
There’s a traditional kigo in this hokku: melting ice, koori toku 氷解く, mid-spring (see entry in the World Kigo Database: https://worldkigo2005.blogspot.com/2005/09/ice-koori.html). My own haiku teachers often remind us that kigo are not simply calendar or weather reports—they’re the emotional heart of the poem. That’s especially true here. Notice that Simon has not simply said that the icicles are melting but has shown us through a cluster of sensory images that evokes the joy of warm weather and real spring finally arriving.
It’s a verse that fits well for the hokku of a modern renku form with traditional qualities. At 16 syllables it’s in the longer range for short-form verses, and while the line lengths may be irregular in syllables (6/5/5), in stresses it’s 2/3/2–a well-formed, measured verse. Admittedly it’s personal style, but when I’m leading a renku that follows jo-ha-kyu dynamic, I like hokku that take their time and establish a sense of time and place that lets the reader settle into the poem before things pick up in the ha. For me, Simon’s verse does just that and I’m very pleased we have it. Onward to the:
Call for Wakiku:
This will be a two-line spring verse. Here are a few requirements, or just things to keep in mind:
- Season references may be mid-, late- or all spring, though with a hokku of mid-season, anything the saijiki codes early spring is not an option.
- The function of the wakiku is to support and enlarge the scene of the hokku, so sit with Simon’s verse a bit and ask yourself, what else?
- The hokku is what we’d classify as a “non-person” verse–sometimes called a nature verse though it’s more accurate simply to say that there is no one in it. We’ll be switching back and forth between person and non-person every two or three of verses throughout the renku. The wakiku may continue non-person mode, or you may introduce someone.
- The verse following the wakiku will be our blossom verse, so please no spring flowers. No moon, either, please–our moon verse comes later.
Registering your verse offers:
• Use the ‘‘Leave a reply’ box down at the bottom of this thread to submit your offers.
• Please hold revisions or corrections to a minimum, but if you must do so, use the “Reply” link on your own post rather than initiate a new submission.
• Post your submissions before midnight Monday,23 April, Eastern USA time.
• The selected verse will be announced the following Thursday morning: 26 April, Eastern US time.
Happy writing! I look forward to what you all come up with!
Linda
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The window for submissions to the wakiku is now closed. Thank you, everyone, for your imaginations, creativity, and beautiful writing. See you on Thursday with our verse and a call for the daisan.
*
quicker than s’cat
the lucky tongue
*
*
high as a kite
the river and pony tails
*
up through the snowfall
first green shoots
greenness emerges
across the valley
the necks of birds
stretching to drink
runnels gurgle
into the swollen stream
syncopated footwork
of a courting woodcock
off again, on again
first spring peepers
along the terraced row
back gardens sprout washing
seeds carefully placed
in garden furrows
small salmon flashes
not yet against the current
+++
between cold walls
fragrance of cut grass
+++
a still cold stream
cuts the emerald field
at low tide, storied flotsam
ringed with beachcombers
– Betty Shropshire
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves
***
a swallow into nest
sitting on spotted eggs
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves
***
the last drops on the ceiling
slowly fall one by one
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves
***
full of fresh scents
are the budding boughs
drifting into nothing
the dipper’s notes
1.
they come out of the larva
the gauze wings of the dragonfly
————————————————-
2.
at dinner time
the smell of cut grass
———————————————–
3.
drops of light on the leaves
after the downpour
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves – Simon Hanson
.
on Earth Day, deep breaths
for the scent of it
.
– Lorin
Today, 22nd April is Earth Day.
.
(Well, it is Earth Day today where I am & in many world regions, including Tokyo and Moscow. London has about one hour to go & it’ll be Earth Day, New York time, in 6 hours.)
.
– Lorin
Linda, how do celebrations which occur world-wide fit in international renku, in your view?
.
We know that the traditional Japanese saijiki is based on one region of Japan, by ancient precedent or by consensus or by both. ‘The 500 Essential Japanese Season Words’ lists “spring soil (haru no tsuchi, all spring). ”
.
Earth Day in Japan happens over 2 days, the weekend 21st & 22nd April.
https://livejapan.com/en/in-harajuku/article-a0001041/
.
But we are not all in Japan, nor even all in the Northern hemisphere. In this wakiku, a spring reference is required. Personally, I can accept that spring is the time when generally, wherever we are, we notice the earth smells of warming soil, new moss etc. as we spend more time outdoors.
.
But I don’t think that Earth Day, in itself, without qualification, can be a seasonal reference, even if it has become a kigo now, in Japan, since it’s international (and ‘international’ in a truer sense than a renku composed between Japanese and North American participants. . . and I have seen that described as ‘international renku’. 🙂 Well, I suppose it is ‘renku between two nations’, so ‘international’ in that very limited sense.)
.
So in my view we could have Earth Day set in either spring or autumn (like Christmas etc.) as long as there is a seasonal reference as well. But I’m interested in your view.
.
– Lorin
a flock of gulls
follow the plough
*
skylark song faintly heard
beside the swollen stream
correction to my first one:
–
a flock of gulls
follows the plough
a smell of grass
on the cat whiskers
—
a bunch of kittens
in a corner of the stable
last one
********
swifts peeking in
and out of the flu
Verse 3:
…
pink throats
of cheeping baby birds
for his waitstaff, chef prepares
young sweetfish
-Betty Shropshire
noisy starlings
busy nesting in the roof
Beautiful, Simon. Happy Spring!
–
wisps of spring cirrus
zephyred along
–
what perfection waits
beneath the garden loam?
–
first notes of robin song
hatching in the old pine
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves
.
Simon Hanson
.
windowsill seedlings
too big for their pots
.
Liz Ann
in each pilgrim’s hand
prayer flags, too
– Betty Shropshire
iridescent chrysalis
held by a thread
A beautiful hokku, Simon. Very evocative!
…
Verse 1:
…
we breathe
the spring light
…
Verse 2:
…
in the spring mountains
the bear bells ring
Nicely done Simon
****************
Chimney Swifts remind us
to secure an open flu
********************
cleaning gutters all that
glitters isn’t gold
cleaning gutters
all that glitter isn’t cold
****************
sorry
🙂 Michael
– Lorin
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves
.
Simon Hanson
.
the smell of soil
freshly tilled
.
Liz Ann
Congratulations, Simon.
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves – Simon Hanson
*
everywhere
the sparkle of rainbows
*
mulching the morning
into fragrant soil
*
happy screams of kids
on park swings
~~~
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves
.
Simon Hanson
.
a pregnant doe shakes
rain off and moves on
.
the broken gate
clangs with the wind
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves
.
Simon Hanson
.
puddles dry up
as the temperature rises
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves – Simon Hanson
.
all that twittering
in the old cypress hedge!
.
– Lorin
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves – Simon Hanson
.
bright seed-packets
lined up on the fridge
.
– Lorin
Congratulations, Simon! 🙂
.
Icicles aren’t something I’ve seen in my life, but you make a lovely image from them.
.
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves – Simon Hanson
.
bike tracks criss-crossing
the last patches of snow
.
(Well, I’ve seen snow . . . 3 or 4 times! 🙂 )
.
– Lorin
There are not many icicles here in sunny Queensland but I have seen a few small ones form under the roof gutters during my years in Mount Gambier. Size is not everything some say, and they were just big enough for me to admire in them the play of morning light : )
Thank you Linda and everyone for your thoughtful comments – much appreciated. There were so many wonderful offerings that i am a bit surprised.
So looking forward to the journey ahead.
something stirs
within the frogspawn
nice start!
.
scent of earth
from the freshly plowed field
scrap that, not another ‘from’!
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves
– Simon Hanson ( love this!)
outside their den
bear cubs stop and blink
verse 1
*
warmer winds alter
the colour of clothing
So lovely, Simon, congratulations.
Yes, a great start, Simon. Nice choice, Linda. 🙂
stopping the bike at the bend
to watch the blossoms
😊 Lovely, Simon!! Well done!
– Betty
¤¤¤
a row of icicles
blue sky and sunshine
dripping from the eaves
– Simon Hanson
.
.
are we there yet? pipes up
one pilgrim as if on cue
– Betty Shropshire