The Renku Sessions: Hokku Invitation
Welcome to The Haiku Foundation’s Sixth Renku Session.
I’ll be your sabaki for this renku that we begin today. Thanks to Jim Kacian and John Stevenson for giving me this opportunity. I’ve learned the art of renku from Norman Darlington, Moira Richards, John Carley and Eiko Yachimoto. I’ve been writing renku from 2005 and I’ve been a sabaki of many renku trips and was the guest renku editor at A Hundred Gourds 5:2.
Renku or renga (collaborative poetry) is a genre of Japanese short forms of poetry. Two of the most famous masters of renga were the Buddhist priest Sogi (1421–1502) and Master Basho (1644–1694). Renga/renku was one of the most important literary arts in pre-modern Japan. When teaching renku to beginners in schools and colleges or during Haiku festivals that we have in India, I felt the shortest renku, junicho, was a wee bit too long, for all we can spare for renku is around 2 hours and John Carley’s Yotsumono [of just 4 verses] is surely not for beginners who need to learn the nuances when going on a renku trip.
Necessity is the mother of inventions— I’ve been thinking for some time now about this problem when teaching renku to beginners and I hit upon a new form of renku! Thus, my version is based on the need to have a shorter version of renku, without sacrificing on the aesthetics of this 400 year-old art form that has come to us from Master Basho’s time— the shofu-style of renku which is essentially anti-thematic. “Rasa” means the emotional essence in Indian aesthetics. “Rasika” is one who enjoys the rasa. So I wish to call this short renku “Rasika”.
Rasika has 8 verses set as in traditional junicho style. The jo-ha-kyu are not clearly demarcated. The number of kaishi (writing sheets) is just one. I’m keeping this renku very flexible regarding the inclusion of the usual 4 seasons in renku, meaning spring, summer, autumn and winter. Since we do not have the space and the number of verses to include all the four seasons, we can pick and choose just 2 or 3. It has the conventional moon and blossom verse and of course the “love verses’ without which a renku seems incomplete.
Important to note: The link and shift is strong, and the shifts can be wide, since it is not a 36 verse structure of Kasen, which can afford to have small shifts. So shall we say, to coin a new phrase, we’ll be following – link and leap!
As often practiced:
Long verses will be of 3 lines [about 14 sound structures or syllables]
Short verses will be of 2 lines [about 11 sound structures or syllables counts]
Rasika Schema:
- long – hokku | autumn moon*
- short – wakiku | non-seasonal*
- long – daisan | winter
- short – non-seasonal
- long – end of summer/love (rainy season)
- short – non-seasonal/love
- long | spring blossom *
- ageku | non-seasonal or spring *
The asterisks show the important verses in this renku.
Please submit:
1. Long – hokku | autumn moon
Open to everyone. A three line verse. A regular hokku (haiku), with a good cut (kire). A moon verse. Can be a verse with or without human presence. Around 14 syllables.
I would like not more than 3 candidates per poet and please post them by Monday, 9th October.
The selected hokku will be posted next Thursday morning (Eastern US time) and instructions will be giving for submitting the wakiku.
Kala Ramesh
* The notes for ‘Rasika’ are taken from A Hundred Gourds 4:2 March 2015. My sincerest thanks to Lorin Ford and William Sorlien for all the ‘Rasika’ renku published in the subsequent issues of AHG.
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I know I’m late here, but couldn’t keep off : -)
the koi’s breath
bubbling the moon…
old pond
************
bedded
in the hay bales
harvest moon
Sanjuktaa,
How I wish you had submitted your hokku offers earlier.
A wee bit too late for the hokku has been selected and I’ll be calling for the next slot – wakiku today (Thursday 12 Oct).
Do join in
That’s okay, Kala! I never expected…
Just found it irresistible .
Will try to join in later.
How do we know which is the chosen one?
And where do we post the next verse?
Anithak, just check the renku page at THF
John Stevenson puts it up every Thursday
https://www.thehaikufoundation.org/2017/10/12/the-renku-sessions-rasika-renku-week-2/
This is the link
Lovely ones, Sanjuktaa
Thank you, Anitha :-))
My ill daughter
Overcome with emotion
Full moon
Petra L Golob
nearly invisible
the baby finds its crescent
“moo! moo!”
full moon
seeing so clearly
all in grays
two poems, second starts “full moon”
knocking hardly
in the closed window
some rays of moon
lo a face
like a full moon…
my sweetheart’s
moonrise –
every window
wide open
—
– Lorin
the whole morning
filled by its brilliance
hunter’s moon
*
*
midnight moon
the baby’s cheek
at her breast
*
*
and third option, with homage to the host:
*
midnight
the moon’s silence
emits chills
oops that second one should read:
*
harvest moon
the baby’s cheek
at her breast
full moon
a doe leads two fawns
under the apple tree
Kala, so good to meet you in Santa Fe.
.
full moon
a deer herd beds
down in tall grass
It was absolutely lovely meeting you at Santa Fe, Carmen
quarter moon—
the change
in his smile
_______________
Thanks, Kala!
Mary
the right pumpkin
reflected in puddle
full moon
the pumpkin’s smile
reflected in puddle
full moon
rush hour sounds
a new goose takes point
gliding past the moon
moon light
taking the edge off
our shaows
the fruit moon?
a pocket full of seeds
from the harvest
new beginning –
migrating birds
lit by the moon
ooops, two ‘ings’ — sorry, let me fix that & add more dreaming room:
.
new beginning —
night migrants
lit by the moon
Thanks, Mary. Taken this version :))
an opal orb
reflected in her glasses
full moon
Dear Kala, it is so wonderful to have you here to lead us through a new renku. Welcome!
.
.
fitful clouds
the harvest moon
looms large
My offering of hokku:
my chrysanthemums
in the garden
a lot of moons
My October offering:
warm glow
over the mountain’s shoulder
rising moon
.
the heft
of just the right pumpkin
waxing moon
.
gilt moon
compelling the tide
dares stars to follow
closed eyes
turned to the full moon
I reach for your hand
yellow moon
rising from its straw bed
a chestnut foal
feeling full
the harvest moon shines
at dinnertime
scrambled moon
by the pool i stop
comparing
hello Kala, look forward to following the development of this renku!
–
evening breeze
the path the moon makes
across the lake
Kala,
Based on the inputs from Lorin and you, I wish to make a small change to my first entry as below
Kindly ignore the earlier one
***
hunters moon–
in the stretch of the tide
our parting steps
solitary moon
on the naked boughs
one yellow leaf
wishing well
her first one lands
on the moon
a sweet smell
in the air tonight
persimmon moon
harvest moon
a bowl of nourishing soup
I did not make
***
our fingers
stained with walnut tannin
moonlight on the path
***
waves of loneliness
in a galley kitchen
blood moon
full moon
finger dimples
in rising dough
lovely one Carol
Thank you for your comment, ros 🙂
moonshine
on a harmless dare
not to be outdone
I just noticed my typo: Here is the correct verse
all the crickets
sing their last song
autumn moon
Taken note, Aalix
first day of Autumn
my heart is pounding wild
Ah! The full moon
Such delicate verses.
This is something to leave to the more experienced, I feel 🙂
But I will be reading, and learning from them.
Thanks for being here, Carol Jones.
The framework for ‘Rasika’ is simply and elastic – so it shouldn’t be complicated.
The hokku is just a haiku – so do give it a shot!
**
But please do remember – in haiku the ‘moon’ by default is an autumn seasonal word and your verse doesn’t have to mention the word ‘autumn’. We follow this convention in renku too.
**
Check Lorin Ford’s comment below.
Thank you, Kala 🙂
full moon
one more quince
for her chutney
Making a jar of chutney every autumn for each of her children is an annual ritual performed by my mother, so I’m wondering if it’s better to specify this in the haiku, Kala?
.
full moon
one more quince
for Mum’s chutney
.
full moon
one more quince
for Mother’s chutney
Yes, Marion,
Definitely better to specify than to have the opening verse (hokku) begin with ‘her’ — which in a way might leave our readers wondering who this person is … ?!?
*
Renku is about ‘storytelling’ in some ways and we need to pay attention to how we carry our narration forward.
Thank you, Kala. 🙂
marion
harvest moon
through the trees
searching for fallen apples
1.
gibbous moon
getting the crib ready
for her
2.
cloudless…
water snake crinkles
the day moon
3.
warm balcony
a bat flies through
an almost full moon
in her dewy eyes
I read both fear and hope…
lo the full moon!
full moon –
somewhere
a quarrel
a full moon
spreading like white gold
over the Pacific
harvest moon–
panicle and the farmer
bow to each other
party time
the boom box lifts
with the moon
ps to all: in renku, the moon (as is, just ‘moon’) is an ‘all autumn’ kigo. If we want to indicate another season, it needs a qualifier, eg. ‘hazy moon’ for spring. If we want to be more precise about which part of autumn is intended (eg. ‘hunters’ moon’ for the next full moon after the ‘harvest moon’) we can check a saijiki / season word list. The easiest one to find online is ‘THE FIVE HUNDRED ESSENTIAL JAPANESE SEASON WORDS’:
—
http://www.2hweb.net/haikai/renku/500ESWd.html
—
I’m hoping this might be helpful as a guideline to those who’re new to renku. 🙂
—
– Lorin
Thanks Lorin.
I should have stated that but hadn’t taken into account all the new comers.
I’ll detail things for the next verse.
Thanks to everyone for your good responses.
You can always add anything you like, along the way, too, in this ‘comments’ section, Kala.
—
My first time participating in a ‘Rasika’. I can certainly appreciate that it’s a great idea for live renku, when there’s a limited time to complete the poem, so kudos to you for thinking of it. :-).
—
– Lorin
Thank you, Lorin.
A comment like this from you is something I’ll cherish for a long, long time.
tonight’s moon –
eight champagne glasses
catch the shine
—
– Lorin
Hi Kala, and welcome! Thank you for hosting the next renku.
Here is my submission:
deck before dawn
harvest moon setting
between leaves
all the crickets
sing their lasr song
autumn moon
g’day Kala, welcome!
Fun to write a rasika with you again.
~~
crescent moon
a hungry dingo slinks
through crunchy leaves
~
rising moon
the pumpkin’s smile
grows even larger
~
on opening the door
soft moonlight filters
into her cozy den
Thanks, Barbara
I vividly remember the first rasika we did together, in 2015.
^_^
harvest moon
crickets still calling
their lullaby
three-legged cat
prowls through the underbrush
harvest moon
a maple leaf
poses in silhouette
autumn moon
*
black cat
its back arched in the shape
of an autumn moon
*
autumn moon
a romantic evening
on the veranda
*
1.
moon rise —
for my friends across the world
it is sunrise
2.
shooting the moon . . .
my canon* steadied
on the handrail
(*camera brand)
moonlight
more intense the scent
of lime blossoms
autumn moon…
hidden we harvest
the light
harvest moon
a basket full of truffles
and a happy dog
all the ways
we walk alone
moonlight through leaves
Nice one, Rachel !
Hi Rachel,
Very nice verse but ‘moonlight’ is not regarded as a moon verse in renku.
*
Even in haiku, ‘moonlight’ is not considered as a seasonal reference for moon.
**
Just thought I’ll mention it here … :))
harvest moon
a child gathers stardust
in a jar
Hi Kala!
My offering of hokku…
measuring
the lake’s deepness…
moonsong
-Brendon Kent
I apologize every thing ran together and I corrected but can’t delete the incorrect post. Sorry.
autumn moon
face to face
with a pumpkin
autumn moon
a pumpkin field
shines back
autumn moon
a pumpkin field
shines back
autumn moon
face to face
with a pumpkin
Kala,
I am so fascinated. It reminds me of my first renku session with you.
coconut leaves
the swaying rib bones
of the autumn moon
I clearly remember that rasika trip, Ajaya.
Enjoyed writing it with you :))
I think it is published in AHG!
full moon
the final escape
of my cat
A silver spoon
Up at noon
Autumn Moon
autumn moonlight—
a larch’s needles
so gold on grass
a pumpkin’s shadow
in moonlight—
the Oh! of October
Hello, Kala.
Just dipping my toe in the water, here 🙂
*
lone fisherman
sings to his friend
autumn moon
This is my hokka,
Rains switching my path
Swirling in a bald mountain
Water duped me
Hello Kala,
Thank you for your wonderful tips. Here is my first Renku attempt
autumn moon–
in the stretch of the tide
our parting steps
– Srinivasa Rao Sambangi
kanpai Kala
**********
crossing the road
an old scarecrow gets struck
by the moon
moon glimpses —
death seems not so far
out of reach
new moon
a crow bathes
in the puddle
Welcome Kala ! I am so curious and excited to learn it.
autumn moon
in my joined palms
the half moon
Welcome Kala! ☺
…
harvest moon
the want ads
on the table
– Betty Shropshire
Welcome, Kala! 🙂