The Renku Sessions: Cotton Clouds – Week 8
Welcome to the current renku session. I am John Stevenson and I’ll be your guide for a twenty verse, nijûin renku.
We will be using an on-line list of season words and phrases (kigo) for those verses that require a seasonal reference: https://yths.org/season-word-list/
Here is my short list of verse 8 offerings:
riding an elevator
to the top floor
Pamela Garry
on a busy bike path
cries of “on your left”
Richard Straw
standing room only
on the subway home
Richard Straw
five minutes left
on a one-hour meter
Michael Henry Lee
bringing up the rear
in a circus parade
Michael Henry Lee
would-be bank robbers
trip a silent alarm
Tracy Davidson
they’re having a party
in the apartment above us
Jonathan Alderfer
competitive browsing
at the sidewalk sale
Laurie Greer
protest signs litter
the cordoned off street
Sally Biggar
tear gas canisters
litter the cordoned street
Sally Biggar
we tip the busker
for attempting ‘teen spirit’
Margaret Anderson
pumping iron
at the local gym
Nancy Brady
families stretch pay checks
over kitchen tables
Wendy C. Bialek
broken streetlight
casting darkness
Devin Wilson
We had several current events images this time. While I didn’t select one, this is something we will definitely want to include sometime in the next five or six verses. The good news and the bad news is that we can expect plenty of “current events” for the foreseeable future.
Verse seven left us with a prominent, though muted, scent. Several of your verse eight offers feature other scents. Some are not so muted: a crowded subway or elevator, a gymnasium, tear gas. I laughed out loud about the circus parade.
Verse seven also might have (though not necessarily) made us think about later stages of life. I see subtle potential links to this in “five minutes left.” “they’re having a party” and perhaps “competitive browsing.” Perhaps also in “broken streetlight.”
Here is my choice for the eighth verse:
we tip the busker
for attempting ‘teen spirit’
Margaret Anderson
I am presuming that “teen spirit” refers, in this context, to the Nirvana song “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” The omission of “smells like” is a winking reference to “scent links.” (Which, by the way, need not have anything to do with literal scents.) I am aware that verse four gives us “the comfort of song.” Some might, therefore, consider this selection a back-link. There are three intervening verses. And “song” is the final verse of the jo (opening section) while “teen spirit” is very much ha (middle section) in its content and attitude. Also, “song” is about song in general and as a shared activity. The busker, a soloist, is attempting a specific song. And perhaps failing in anything more than an attempt.
There is a further link to “sweet nothings” in the contrasting lyrics and articulation of them in the Nirvana song.
And finally, I just like reciting this verse.
So, here is what we have, so far:
Cotton Clouds (working title)
a pinto colt
canters the meadow
cotton clouds
John Stevenson
muddied boots
on the welcome mat
Jennifer Sutherland
a bounty
of tulips spilling
over the vase
Eavonka Ettinger
the comfort of song
sung together
Anne Fox
the hermit crab’s
new shell glistens
in the moonlight
Sally Biggar
he fell for the sundress
on bare shoulders
Debbie Scheving
sweet nothings
with a hint
of Bengay
Diana Ming Jeong
we tip the busker
for attempting ‘teen spirit’
Margaret Anderson
This week, we will be working on the ninth verse. This will be three lines. It will be a non-seasonal verse, so it must not contain a word or phrase from our list of season words. Here are some other considerations:
- We are now in the middle section (the ha), where anything goes and very broad strokes can be taken.
- Some topic areas we haven’t touched upon: food or beverage, religion, sports, technology.
Please enter a maximum of five verse-nine offers. The deadline for submission will be midnight, eastern US time on Monday, June 16.
What’s next?!
John
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