The Renku Sessions: Cotton Clouds – Week 7
Welcome to the current renku session. I am John Stevenson and I’ll be your guide for a twenty verse, nijûin renku.
We will be using an on-line list of season words and phrases (kigo) for those verses that require a seasonal reference: https://yths.org/season-word-list/
Here is my short list of verse 7 offerings:
it’s all fun and games
when both husband and wife
are cross-dressers
Lorin Ford
finally
on a first name basis with
each other’s doormen
Curt Linderman
only a slight stumble
over her words
of endearment
Jonathan Alderfer
she patted dry
her lover’s
hard to reach places
Pamela Garry
she trips
on her way up
the wedding aisle
Eavonka Ettinger
our quiet
lovemaking
by the crib
Sharon Ferrante
we struggle
our mattress
up the stairwell
Margaret Anderson
nearly every day
adds a new wrinkle
to their marriage
Laurie Greer
cozied up
in a Central Park carriage
at sunset
Marion Clarke
he adds
her name
to the lease
Nancy Brady
their first
anniversary brunch
at a Mariachi bar
Wendy C. Bialek
sweet nothings
with a hint
of Bengay
Diana Ming Jeong
Another hard choice. The short-listed verses do several things. I will have to choose from among those things.
I love the attitude of “it’s all fun and games,” “only a slight stumble,” “she trips,” and “nearly every day.” This is the kind of zip and snap that we will be looking for in parts of the ha (middle section).
I am getting the urban images I’ve been asking for with “finally,” “we struggle,” “cozied up” and “their first.” If I don’t select something with an urban setting this time, I will have to insist upon it for the next verse.
Love verses can be downright suggestive. “she patted dry” shows us how it’s done. And “our quiet” presents a realistic image of intimacy coupled with responsibility.
The way in which “he adds” relates to my interpretive comments about “he fell for the sundress” is interesting – extending the illusory social contract of “her job is to look good; his job is to provide.”.
Here is my choice for the seventh verse:
sweet nothings
with a hint
of Bengay
Diana Ming Jeong
In the end, I have chosen a verse that has a gentle “snap” and clearly looks at a later stage of relationship. I guess I will have to insist upon an urban setting for the next verse.
So, here is what we have, so far:
Cotton Clouds (working title)
a pinto colt
canters the meadow
cotton clouds
John Stevenson
muddied boots
on the welcome mat
Jennifer Sutherland
a bounty
of tulips spilling
over the vase
Eavonka Ettinger
the comfort of song
sung together
Anne Fox
the hermit crab’s
new shell glistens
in the moonlight
Sally Biggar
he fell for the sundress
on bare shoulders
Debbie Scheving
sweet nothings
with a hint
of Bengay
Diana Ming Jeong
This week, we will be working on the eighth verse. This will be two lines. It will be a non-seasonal verse, so it must not contain a word or phrase from our list of season words. It will have a clearly urban setting. Here are some other considerations:
- We are now in the middle section (the ha), where anything goes and very broad strokes can be taken.
- We had quite a few verses starting with an article (the, a) in the beginning. We’ve avoided that for two verses. Let’s avoid it for at least one more.
Please enter a maximum of five verse-eight offers. The deadline for submission will be midnight, eastern US time on Monday, June 9.
Keep up the good work!
John
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