The Renku Sessions: Cotton Clouds – Week 19
Welcome to the current renku session. I am John Stevenson and I’ll be your guide for a twenty verse, nijûin renku.
We will be using an on-line list of season words and phrases (kigo) for those verses that require a seasonal reference: https://yths.org/season-word-list/
Here is my short list of verse 19 offerings:
trails
of blossoms
in our wake
Richard Straw
a high fly ball
lands in the
daffodils
Belinda Behne
lily of the valley
on either side
of the course
Michael Henry Lee
the outfield
covered
in dandelions
Nancy Brady
beneath blossoms
we stroll
tidal basin paths
John Daleiden
bright rows
of tulips
flank the windmills
John Daleiden
some cherry petals
have gotten into
my whitened hair
Keith Evetts
all of us amateurs
when it comes
to the blossoms
Laurie Greer
every stroller
lined with
a blossom blanket
rob barkan
the drum circle taps
to the random touch
of falling blossoms
Clysta Seney
bees buzz
excitedly in
open blossoms
VJ Green
tandem
blossom
petals
wendy c. bialek
off the cherry blossom
path to chase a
butterfly
Diana Ming Jeong
with a gust
blossoms hop
on the bus
Orense Nicod
festival poems
read to light applause
and a drift of blossoms
Margaret Anderson
Once again, you have come through with attractive offerings. At this point the social aspect of renku may add to the challenge of verse selection. Of the poems on my short list, only six come from poets not already included in previous selections. In the original, Japanese practice of renku, the session leader was expected to make changes, sometimes very significant changes, to the offered verses. But in most English-speaking places the values of individualism and originality make this a more problematic approach. In a live session, I could at least tell a poet what I saw as a problem and allow them the chance to make adjustments. Here, the best I can do is make periodic comments about some of the more frequently encountered issues.
In that spirit, I want to emphasize that it is important to use kigo in the light of what has made them kigo. When we were doing the noon verse, for instance, I cautioned you that the moon or moonlight should be literal – the moon we see in the sky and its light. While there are few reference works that spell out the intent of individual kigo (and none that I know of online), it is usually safe to consider the image to be literal and frequently problematic to use it figuratively.
Here is my choice for the nineteenth verse:
some cherry petals
have gotten into
my whitened hair
Keith Evetts
I am a great fan of very short verses, provided they seem full of significance. Thus, the offers of Richard Straw, VJ Green and especially wendy c. bialek were my favorites. But I am something of an outlier in this regard, so I will aim for the more general approach. I will also say that John Daleiden’s linking of windmills to a bicycle was tempting.
What Keith Evetts’ verse does, it seems to me, is to make use of the cherry blossom image as it is intended. The blossoms come suddenly, in a display of incredible beauty, and are suddenly gone again. This fleeting image of beauty is a prefect compliment to the sense of a “fast finish” in the Kyu. And I imagine the petals have gotten into the poet’s hair as he speeds under low branches on a bicycle. The white hair seems like acceptance of the fleeting quality of life itself.
So, here is what we have, so far:
Cotton Clouds (working title)
a pinto colt
canters the meadow
cotton clouds
John Stevenson
muddied boots
on the welcome mat
Jennifer Sutherland
a bounty
of tulips spilling
over the vase
Eavonka Ettinger
the comfort of song
sung together
Anne Fox
the hermit crab’s
new shell glistens
in the moonlight
Sally Biggar
he fell for the sundress
on bare shoulders
Debbie Scheving
sweet nothings
with a hint
of Bengay
Diana Ming Jeong
we tip the busker
for attempting ‘teen spirit’
Margaret Anderson
everyone dies
at the end but
we keep reading
Devin Wilson
paper cuts
not withstanding
Michael Henry Lee
the stoic grin
on the cooling face
of the gingerbread man
Laurie Greer
downhill like a rocket
on a baking pan
rob barkan
is she in a sack
or is it a rug that rolls
out before Caesar
madeleine kavanagh
crickets
as he waits for a kiss
Orense Nicod
a flock of geese
cuts the moon
in thirds
Belinda Behne
deciding not to
give the pumpkin a face
Sharon Ferrante
children asked
to draw pictures
of their families
Nancy Brady
a bike ride to watch
spring training
Clysta Seney
some cherry petals
have gotten into
my whitened hair
Keith Evetts
This week, we will be working on the final verse. This will be two lines. It will be a spring verse. It must contain a season word or phrase from our list of spring kigo. It should not feature a blossom or, probably any sort of plant life.
As part of the “kyu” (fast finish) of this renku, this verse should feature pleasant thoughts, subtlety, and quiet reflection.
The final verse of a renku (ageku) does not try to put a period to the proceedings or to say, in any way, “the end.” A renku ends, figuratively, with an ellipsis. The ageku is written with the sense that the chain of images goes on but that we rest here and let it go.
Please enter a maximum of five verse-twenty offers. The deadline for submission will be midnight, eastern US time on Monday, September 1.
Looking forward to your ageku offers!
John
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