The Renku Sessions: Cotton Clouds – Week 14
Welcome to the current renku session. I am John Stevenson and I’ll be your guide for a twenty verse, nijûin renku.
We will be using an on-line list of season words and phrases (kigo) for those verses that require a seasonal reference: https://yths.org/season-word-list/
Here is my short list of verse 14 offerings:
crickets
as he waits for a kiss
Orense Nicod
at first sight
Autumn loneliness ends
Pamela Garry
watching geese migrate
on their sixty-sixth
John Daleiden
lovemaking in vineyards
can crush more than grapes
Tracy Davidson
braiding grasses as their
marriage enters its bronze age
Laurie Greer
her smile
wider than the pumpkin’s
Biswajit Mishra
our fall of falling
in love
Jonathan Alderfer
our grey hairs say sit but
fall leaves say let’s dance
Margaret Anderson
leaves and lovers
turning overnight
Debbie Scheving
her kiss goodbye
tastes of pumpkin spice
VJ Green
sharing bites of salmon
on their anniversary
Nancy Brady
“bagworm”, “case moth”, “bag…”, “case…”
then they call the whole thing off
Lorin Ford
a clear toned cicada joins
the exchanging of vows
madeleine kavanagh
he peels off
the grape skin before offering
wendy c. bialek
One of the things that eliminated several offers this time was the use of season words and phrases as elements of idioms in which they are figurative rather than literal. A painting of autumn leaves does not establish the season in the way that actual leaves do.
Another thing to keep in mind is that there are certain verses that will require the moon or a blossom. If it hasn’t been asked for, the presence of any of these images will eliminate a verse.
And finally, the two previous verses are linked by prominent images of motion. A series of three such images may be too much in a twenty verse renku. Although, this has not prevented some examples from making my “short list.”.
Here is my choice for the fourteenth verse:
crickets
as he waits for a kiss
Orense Nicod
History fans know the broad strokes of what happened in the years after Cleopatra and Caesar met. But the first moments, before the “kissing” started, may have been awkward.
Although it may be obvious that I am a fan of brevity, a one-word line should be well justified if it is to be included in a renku. The blank space is this verse, when all we hear is crickets, seems justified to me.
So, here is what we have, so far:
Cotton Clouds (working title)
a pinto colt
canters the meadow
cotton clouds
John Stevenson
muddied boots
on the welcome mat
Jennifer Sutherland
a bounty
of tulips spilling
over the vase
Eavonka Ettinger
the comfort of song
sung together
Anne Fox
the hermit crab’s
new shell glistens
in the moonlight
Sally Biggar
he fell for the sundress
on bare shoulders
Debbie Scheving
sweet nothings
with a hint
of Bengay
Diana Ming Jeong
we tip the busker
for attempting ‘teen spirit’
Margaret Anderson
everyone dies
at the end but
we keep reading
Devin Wilson
paper cuts
not withstanding
Michael Henry Lee
the stoic grin
on the cooling face
of the gingerbread man
Laurie Greer
downhill like a rocket
on a baking pan
rob barkan
is she in a sack
or is it a rug that rolls
out before Caesar
madeleine kavanagh
crickets
as he waits for a kiss
Orense Nicod
This week, we will be working on the fifteenth verse. This will be three lines. It will be an autumn moon verse. The mention of the moon or moonlight, so long as it is about the literal moon or its light. is sufficient to establish it as an autumn verse. No additional kigo is required.
Please enter a maximum of five verse-fifteen offers. The deadline for submission will be midnight, eastern US time on Monday, July 28.
Looking forward to your moon verses!
John
The Haiku Foundation reminds you that participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior from all parties. Please see our Code of Conduct policy: https://thehaikufoundation.org/about-thf/policies/#code-of-conduct
